#Anhedonia

[shabbytigers]

ANHEDONIA REMEDIES!

GET YOUR ANHEDONIA REMEDIES HERE!

if you are lost in the rut, i am begging you to read this essay by Sasha Chapin suggesting what, essentially, my take, are potential jump-starts back into living life in real time. like actually experiencing experiences

do it now! don’t lose months, years, or decades! there is a life beyond doomscrolling, and it’s finite (sorry. sorry. i know okay)

[schizopositivity]

Here's a reminder to fight the internalized sanism/ableism in your head.

If you have executive dysfunction, don't compare your productivity to people who don't.

If you have anhedonia, don't compare your struggling to keep up with hobbies to someone who doesn't.

If you have paranoia, don't think of your fears as any less valid than the fears of someone who doesn't.

If your meds make you tired constantly, don't compare your energy levels to someone who doesn't take those meds.

If you have issues with concentration, then you won't be able to pay attention as well as someone who doesn't.

If you're in the deep end of a pool, then you can't compare how well you keep your head above water to someone who is standing in a kiddie pool.

Please try to think of these things when you feel "lazy" or "childish" or "a failure" compared to other people that don't struggle with the same symptoms as you. If you have a mental illness that will affect how you act in everyday situations, then it will in fact affect you in everyday situations. It's not an excuse, it's just a reality. We need to try to be kinder to ourselves.

[sourswitchblade777]

won’t be seen with him cause that’s embarrassing. ₊˚

— mondays , ethel cain & chloe hotline

[daughtersofcain666]

I tried to pull you out

But you built this bed to rot

[mournfulroses]

Chelsea Wolfe, from a song duet with Emma Ruth Rundle titled "Anhedonia," released in 2021

[bentribs]

Aboulia

[detkauwu]

𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙, 𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖇 // 𝖎𝖙’𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖞 𝖇𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖊

[doomedfromthewombfr]

It’s like I’m stuck in a world where everything is muted, and I forgot how to turn the volume back up

[autopsyfreak]

the question is do i fill my chronic boredom with destructive decisions or with sex

[carnalconcinnity]

Feeling empty and losing the ability to mask means I lose any sort of will to put things in a nicer way. I go from well-spoken and able to blend in to uninterested in anything outside of maybe a few interests. I'm even less able to empathise with others and my social relationships suffer, I don't care to tell my friends what it is because the attention that follows just irritates me. Feels better to drop off the radar and come back.

[sourswitchblade777]

“jesus can always reject his father. but he cannot escape his mother’s blood.”

family tree ( intro ) - ethel cain.

[schizoid-hikikomori]

So much of the human experience is defined by how we react to things, even if we don't consciously think about it.

People like to define "humanity" as the emotions/empathy/sympathy/love you feel. Anhedonia and apathy combined with alexithymia is considered inhuman. No ordinary person would know this terminology, but when they see it in people, they consider it a "wrong" or "strange" or "inhuman" way to exist.

People might just assume you're depressed if you're not enjoying anything you're doing, or if you're unresponsive in a social situation. But when it comes to something dramatic, like a societal tragedy or a relationship issue or a death or something similar, if you don't react in the way you're expected to, you're judged.

These judgements could be in good faith, maybe they assume that you're in shock and you don't know how to react. But others will assume you're heartless and don't care at all. It depends on who you're with and how you navigate the situation overall, how your reaction will impact their reactions.

Beyond the surface level, it's also the little things, how you react to birthdays, holidays, marriages, pregnancies, medical events, children, elders, etc. We are a society highly defined by interaction with other people. When you don't interact as expected within your respective culture, you're looked at like something other.

I know what it's like to feel things, at least, I have some sort of memory of enjoying things and feeling strong emotions, but they feel so much like a distant memory far beneath the ocean's surface—muffled, colorless, far away, unreachable. Thinking back on memories don't trigger emotions for me anymore. Despite this, there's still things I don't like talking about, but that I can remember without triggering those traumatic feelings.

I'm sure the change seems drastic to people who've known me since I was a child. Or they didn't notice, which seems to be about right. I became so good at keeping things internal that there's so many things I haven't described even to my mother about my childhood, where she thought I was doing perfectly fine in the messes that were going on.

I started feeling like I was dying at the start of high school and that feeling never left. I feel like I've decayed and I've become something inhuman.

(Photo from the other night.)

Imagery like this was always something I connected with even as a child. Dark hallways, bare tree branches twisting up into the sky like twisted little things, dark churches (which I owe to having grandparents working at a historical church), dead forests, cemeteries, and other gothic imagery.

Now, it portrays the things inside of me that are difficult to verbalize. I do it in my artwork, I do it in my writing.

Even though my novellas are all very different stories, they contain very similar details, relating to an often cynical and unlikable protagonist, themes of bodily identity, neglect of self care, and how we appear to others. As for my art, I don't really like explaining it, especially my art that's unrelated to any of my stories. Writing artist statements for gallery showings and suchlike things has always been dreadful. I'd rather it just speak for itself.

So in the end, I consider myself something inhuman. It is not something I reject or am ashamed of, for I've lost my ability to feel shame. There's no reason to deny the truth.

[unpvnishable]

This video changed lives.

[neurodivergenttales]

Nobody talks about how exhausting it is to be numb to everything

To drag yourself through every day knowing that you’re not going to get any pleasure or enjoyment from anything you do

To feel blank towards everyone and everything

It’s a never-ending cycle of looking to everyone else like you’re alive but feeling completely rotted down inside

I just want to feel like a person again

[schizoidvision]

4 Reasons Schizoids With Anhedonia Can Still Have a Strong Survival Instinct

Schizoid personality disorder is a complex and multifaceted condition that contains many paradoxes. This is primarily related to the internal fragmentation of the self and inner splits between different aspects of their being. One seemingly contradictory aspect is related to why schizoid individuals who experience anhedonia can still possess such a strong survival instinct. This can be partially explained by their heightened sensitivity to safety. This article aims to explore the relationship between anhedonia, the survival instinct, and the schizoid's underlying safety sensitivity.

1. Understanding Anhedonia in Schizoids

Anhedonia, in essence, is the inability or diminished capacity to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable. For the schizoid individual, this might manifest in a lack of interest in social interactions, hobbies, or even basic human experiences. With such a significant reduction in the pleasure derived from life's experiences, one might assume that the will to live or survive would be diminished. However, the schizoid dynamic is far more nuanced.

2. Schizoid Inner Pleasures

Anhedonia is related to the lack of pleasure from engaging in activities. However, because schizoids live primarily in their heads, their main source of pleasure tends to come from thinking, rather than taking action. Schizoids tend to be creative and have a rich inner world, from which they may derive a lot of pleasure. For some schizoids, pleasure is derived from being a passive observer of the world. This means that even with anhedonia, there is potential for gaining worthwhile pleasure from being in existence.

3. The Strong Survival Instinct

Despite their emotional detachment and diminished drive due to anhedonia, many schizoids exhibit a strong survival instinct. This means that survival doesn't necessarily stem from a passion for life, as experienced by many neurotypical individuals. Instead, it may be rooted in a fundamental desire for self preservation and safety. The world, as perceived through the lens of a schizoid, can often seem threatening or overwhelming. This perspective, combined with their inherent desire to avoid harm, means that survival is not just about living for external rewards, but about preserving a state of safety and true self survival. It's not merely a biological impulse, but a deeply ingrained psychological need.

4. Schizoid Safety Sensitivity and Defenses

Central to understanding the schizoid survival instinct is the concept of their underlying safety sensitivity, which may be conscious or unconscious. This sensitivity to safety isn't just about physical harm but extends to emotional and psychological well-being. Therefore, schizoids often feel a pressing need to protect their true self from the outer world. The external world, with its demands, judgments, and potential threats, is navigated with caution. Any threat to their well-guarded inner sanctuary is met with a strong defense mechanism, whether that's through withdrawal, avoidance, distancing, or masking. By avoiding negative attention, they safeguard their inner world from external threats.

Summary…

The schizoid personality with its complex thought processes, behaviors, and feelings, defies simplistic explanations. Their strong survival instinct, despite experiencing anhedonia, is a testament to the human psyche's resilience and adaptability. For the schizoid, the world is a complex puzzle of potential threats and safe havens, with survival not just being about life but about the preservation of their true self. As we seek to understand those with schizoid dynamics, it's of value to approach their experiences with empathy and open-mindedness, recognizing the depth and richness of their internal worlds and the strength it takes to navigate a world that often feels overwhelming.

Video From My YouTube Channel: The Schizoid Defense

[heartscaffold]

trying to parse my thoughts through art again