#And was like. Ah. Fuck. This is really great actually
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semantics come from linguistic convention, basically words mean what they do because we agree they do out of customary usage.
every word has an etymology, or origin, but semantic change is a constant of language. so etymology is insufficient to explain a word's meaning. the word "sake" (as in, "for god's sake!") meant "thing", now it doesn't. "vagina" meant sheath, now it doesn't.
depending on what demographic, community, you may have different conceptual systems for the same terms, even during the same period of time. nowadays, some are cross-cultural and cross-linguistic with the advent of multinational 'internet culture', so it is harder to keep track of these things.
"sentience v sapience v sophonce" actually is an interesting elaboration, a three-tiered distinction over the two-tiered distinction if you collapse any possible distinction between sapience/sophonce.
sophonce is a neologism with a greek root, although it is latinate, coined by a collaborative worldbuilding project called Orion's Arm, and "a project by nerds" doesn't quite translate it. it's a sci-fi fictional setting and their webpage is a bit old styled but it still includes thousands of articles expanding history, culture, 'galactography', etc, for tens of thousands of years into the future. it is a treasure trove of interesting ideas, some very original and philosophically relevant now with the development of AI.
many deal with a branch of philosophy called "noology", the study of the mind, thought, and knowledge.
they have developed terms like hypersophont too and tiers of possible levels of super-human intelligence based on what makes human intelligence different from animal intelligence, including the intuition that this is not like a linear ascension.
so the three-tiered distinction conveys something like this
sentient = could include literally invertebrates, sensory functions, but not necessarily able to form thoughts. subjective experience can go from vivid and detailed to very rudimentary (like a jelly that only "notices" light and dark)
sapient = intelligence, but not at the level of human intelligence. canids, felids, corvids. more importantly, primates, great apes. because there are currently important ethical questions that ponder what "personhood" and non-human personhood in particular is. is an ape that knows itself is itself and can do sign language* a person? maybe not, but they're not just sentient like a grasshopper is.
(*animals can sign, althought it's not really 'language' because animals can't really do grammar/syntax)
the current best estimate for that threshold, scientifically, is self-awareness btw. self-awareness is the ability to have, in one's mind, the notion of self. self-awareness is also called "autoscience". some non-human animals are able to do this.
sophonce or whatever word you wanna call it, would imply something more, something currently only humans possess. metacognition is not just self-awareness.
but metacognition takes it a step further, it implies associations around that, the ability to form knowledge about oneself, to turn oneself into a concept, and think about it.
this conversation would reveal someone is self-aware:
+hey you spilled your coffee -ah right, i see the spot, i hadn't noticed. i wondered why suddenly my knee felt hot. the fact they can associate an internal feeling (hot, cold) with the experience observed by someone else, as happening to them- that requires a concept of the self as the thing that experiences things. but only this conversation would reveal someone is metacognizant: +hey you spilled your coffee -oh fuck, i actually love coffee, now i have to get another one +do you really love coffee, though? -hm i guess you're right, i actually have a caffeine addiction, but i don't want to say it because i feel bad about it. only humans can form knowledge about the self and know things about the self, and have "recurrence" in thoughts. they aren't just thinking about coffee, they're thinking about what they're thinking about coffee (they're reflecting on the fact their euphemism reveals an avoidance to admit a problem).
that's what is so far human-only in terms of intelligence.
i am on my knees tears running down my face knuckles raw and bleeding and BEGGING people to learn the difference between sentient and sapient
#amateur linguist#here#descriptivism not prescriptivism!!#also long post but i think its interesting#philosophy of mind#noology
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farmhouse pt9
Cw: swearing, father daughter verbal and physical fight (not abuse)
“Wow ya didn’t strike me as an artist” You hum taking a bite of the sandwich as you sit across from Johnny. The Cafe is the perfect amount of quiet and busy so it’s not too awkward but also you can hear your thoughts.
“I wouldn’t say I’m an artist lass, i just like drawin’” Johnny chuckles sipping his coffee. His sentence makes you scoff because the pictures of his drawings that he showed you are beautiful, stunning even. “Bullshit mate ya drawins’ are amazin” You gleem. Johnny grins at you, he’s not really listening to you more admiring your beauty and he can’t lie if he said he wasn’t hard as a rock right now. You’re absolutely stunning with your rough features that you no doubt got from your father. Those cold commanding eyes that soften when you’re around your loved ones it’s something so captivating about them.
Your heart sinks when you hear the faintest sound of the all too familiar voice of Simon. Who is supposed to be keeping your father busy. Holy shit are they coming closer?
“Johnny…” You hum trying not to panic “did you also hear Simon? Or was that just me?” You say your rough cockney voice going up a few octaves. Johnny and you freeze when you both hear your father and Simon enter the coffee shop thankfully you two are seated at the back. “Fuck” Johnny whispers. You manage not to panic as you hope they won’t spot you.
Well your prayers and hopes weren’t answered because unfortunately your father turns around and looks up making direct eye contact with Johnny. His eyes harden when he recognises that all to familiar hair of yours and that little squeak you make. Price slowly approaches the table “Johnny please don’t tell me you are on a date with my daughter” Price says holding in all his anger because he’s out in public. “Ahhh….errr…” is all Johnny can get out before you whip your head around. “Piss off” you hiss.
“I told you two to stay away from each other, especially you John” Price growls as he stands infront of you and Johnny on your gravel driveway outside your house.
“And I told you we are adults” You growl back. Simon and Johnny would be lying if they said you both were fucking scary right now. “He’s my soldier who is no good for you” price says pursing his lips. “I don’t care” you Growl balling your fists and stepping closer. “You’re a fuckin bad man John you can’t even follow simple instructions” Your father growls at Johnny as he tries to move towards your beloved Johnny you side step blocking him. “Uh ah, I’m the problem here you ain’t focusing on him” You hiss your father’s fists ball up too. Once again you are both toe to toe snarling and growling.
“I can go on dates with Johnny if I want. I ain’t a little girl for fucks sake” You snarl “I ain’t even fuckin him, we shared a bed ONE time when we were shitfaced” that makes your dad even angrier. It usually wouldn’t but you and Price have the same temper… extremely short and explosive. You both inch impossibly closer to each other. “You’re fuckin disobedient John, you’ve crossed a line now” Price hisses towards Soap. That’s what blew you over the edge you were the first to swing taking a quick step back before swinging at him and of course your dad swings back hitting you in the face. This happens about two swings more before Simon and Johnny pull you off each other. “Wot the fuck?” Simon yells as he holds back Price and Johnny holds back you. Your father and you are both now sporting bloody noses and a split lip on your end and a nice incoming black eye on his end.
You both are dragged inside into separate rooms to ice your wounds. “What the actual fuck was that?” Soap asks as he looks at you. You shrug putting the ice to your nose. “Ain’t the first time, Prices aren’t known for a great temper”.
“Yer can’t go fightin’ yer own dad Bonnie” Soap sighs kissing your forehead. “He had it coming that bitch”
[ I feel like this wasn’t long enough but oh well 🤷♀️]
Taglist:
@tabbslouuformer
@thepowers-kat-be
@amberpanda99
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Some matador studies :)
+ ref pic I like but couldn't even attempt to draw 😭
#its funny how your brain can randomly turn on#no one saw it (i hope) but i posted some other matador sketches last night#MAN they were not great imo. i only kept one of them for this post lmao#like i was referencing pics and it was just not working in my brain except for the one#and then i came back to it just now and boom suddenly i could ref poses very well??????#istg i either struggle so bad and have to trace the pose to check shapes and its a whole ordeal#or like now i randomly can look at pics and get the pose down pretty well#not perfect obv but i drew these all in like 50 mins so ????? pretty good no?#just having a severe matador moment#like i wanna draw more of the AU but i need to study poses first#something i actually really dont do a lot cause its often frustrating#but wow these were quite fun!#not worrying abt the end product yknow#i love matador pics so fucking much#bcs you never have to worry abt: is this unrealistic? is this too flamboyant?#cause man the pics are fucking insane#i think the legs are my favorite? theyre all just very slayful i guess. idk how to describe it#but it always feels like a dance#anyways! maybe more matador nando soon#i think i said before but ah....really wanna draw him bloody#catie.art.#matador au
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finally got all of the memories and…wow, that’s beyond fucked up 😔 can Zelda stop having to wait for hundreds of years for Link please. Can’t she just chill and be happy
#zelda#totk#totk spoilers#tears of the kingdom spoilers#tears of the kingdom#I had already gotten spoiled the fact that zelda was the light dragon but#but seeing the actual cutscene and learning that’s where the tears come from#just fucking wow#first time this game has made me feel something#like…first she had to withhold calamity ganon from breaking loose and now she had to roam the skies as a dragon for hundreds of years?#ST zelda may have fucking died but she still had it easy compared to botw/totk zelda#at least SS zelda was asleep for all of it#also wait not trying to think too much about this but#if she roamed the skies as a dragon then…the calamity ganon part never happened?#what?#ah whatever that cutscene was great#I hate the way the memories are unlocked but this final memory was really cool#if zelda doesnt have a happy ending in this I’m gonna fucking riot#junk
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zuko discovered his earthbending when he was around five and panicked. he can't be an earthbender. they're fighting earthbenders.
so he just. hides it. pretends he's a nonbender.
but he can't stay away from the lure of earthbending, so he sometimes practices in secret. it's really hard trying to figure things out on his own.
eventually ozai finds out about this and well. he's not happy about it. he knows it's impossible that ursa was unfaithful, which means there's no doubt zuko is his son. but if his son is an earthbender, that would call his rule into question- so he pretends zuko is a bastard and disowns him.
it's fine. he was always a failure anyways.
kenzo 100% knows zuko is not his grandson. zuko does not know this. kenzo does not know who exactly zuko actually is- it's not really important anyways. he's a child who was traveling all alone. he needs a warm bed and food in his stomach. a place to stay where he can be safe.
he assumes that zuko might be from the colonies- maybe even of mixed blood, given that he clearly has never had any formal earthbending training in his life.
the villagers are a little suspicious of zuko at first, given the fact that he's obviously fire-blooded, but as time goes on they kind of forget their suspicions. if kenzo says he's his grandson, that's good enough for them.
lao beifong is a frequent patron of kenzo, and therefore zuko travels to gaoling often to deliver his finished commissions. lao has absolutely asked kenzo to teach his daughter toph the art of pottery at one point, feeling that it would be a fine pastime for his poor blind daughter, but kenzo took one 'look' at her and was like. what this young girl wants is not a peaceful life of pottery.
kenzo is not completely blind, but can only make out vague shapes and outlines. he lost his eyesight much later in his life, due to an illness. he was already working as a potter then and had to relearn his craft.
zuko ends up befriending toph. of course he does.
toph: huh. who's this guy and why is he lying about what his name is. ah well. none of MY concern.
zuko attends an earth rumble and watches as the little beifong girl absolutely thrashes grown men twice her side. hah. blind and helpless his ass. grandpa was right.
she agrees to help teach him more combative earthbending. she likes the cut of your jib, mudslinger.
you've seen: the gaang forgets toph is blind. now get ready for: toph forgets zuko isn't blind, because he's been exclusively taught earthbending by two blind people.
zuko may be doing a little light blue spiriting on the side. just a tad.
he gets roped into a standing draft of earthbenders a little bit before aang gets out of the iceberg and is just like. well. fuck. this isn't a great development but if i'll definitely draw more attention to myself if i try to desert.
the term of service is only three years. he can get through that, right? then he can go back home to grandpa.
...oh uh. huh. that is his home, isn't it?
at least he makes a new friend? sensu seems like a great guy.
coincidentally happens to be in the area when zhao captures aang. this looks like a great time to sneak out of camp and do a few blue spirit activities.
iroh helps protect the moon spirit at the north pole and later asks aang for a favor. can you keep an eye out for my nephew as you travel the earth kingdom? his father falsely disowned him as a bastard years ago and i have reason to believe he has been hiding there.
sokka: that shouldn't be too hard. a firebender in the earth kingdom should stand out.
iroh: no. he is an earthbender actually.
sokka: what.
(zuko's past, is in fact, about to catch up with him. but he has more important things to worry about- like sensu's unit being captured.
time for blue spirit activities?
hey wait is that the avatar.)
earthbender zuko would just be shun zuko getting mistaken by a blind potter for his dead grandson and then just. never leaving. he can't break this old man's heart. he ends up learning not only his craft but also a lot of other earthbending tips and tricks from the old man whom he genuinely starts to think of as his grandpa at some point.
(spoiler alert: the old man knows full well zuko isn't his grandson. in fact he doesn't even have a grandson. but the scrawny, clearly starving and definitely abused refugee kid will definitely stick around if he pretends to think otherwise.)
...and then he gets drafted into the earth king's army. well. isn't this ironic.
#iroh 100% knows that ozai knows that zuko isn't a bastard#he is relieved that his nephew successfully escaped the fire nation but the information trail from the white lotus ends there#zuko's commanders are kind of sort of aware of his blue spirit shenanigans but they just. ignore it.#yeah that's cadet akiyoshi. he likes taking long walks past curfew but it's fine. he's got insomnia you know?#earthbender zuko au
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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i need to dye my hair i need to cut my hair i need to bleach my eyebrows again i need to shave them off completely i need to DO something i need CHANGE or ill go insane
#sorry im panicking for no reason whatsoever and need to do THINGS to my mortal body but like.#something that will not cause any actual harm because we dont do that here sir na-ah not anymore#also swinging a bat at the part of my brain that keeps telling me i need to lose weight because i liked my face better X kg ago#and also i need to step on the scale and check how much i weigh now cause what if ive put on weight since spring (i most definitely did)#also my mom keeps nagging me about going to that super great endocrinologist again but last time i went i told him i had an ED and he went#'yes very sad. anyway' and weighed me and told me the number anyway. but hey! he also said#'i have fatter patients than you its ok dw your situation isnt that bad we can concentrate on losing that weight later' so its cool :))))))#(its not. im never fucking going there again id rather rip my whole thyroid out of my throat with my bare hands)#also i really want that rhinoplasty but more than a failed surgery im afraid of betraying my ideals lol#its much easier to be anti make up or anti plastic surgery or preach about self love and acceptance when you're naturally pretty lol#anyway. fucked up mental state rn idk why it was fine an hour ago kms
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2018??? IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS? I'VE BEEN INTO ROTTMNT LONGER THAN I'VE BEEN A GUY?
Oh, God, I'm OLD
I really miss editing 😭
#Obligatory eddsworld reference#Cruddy rambles#Also I actually think I started the show in 2017? Cuz I remember there only being 2 full episodes on wco#Discord would probably be able to say for sure but it's not worth the mental health deterioration to check lol#But yeah I remember talking shit like oh God they made it Bad like teen titans go#And then I watched the episodes#Got to the end of the meat origami episode#And was like. Ah. Fuck. This is really great actually#I remembering nerding out about Leo's One Piece reference in ep1 and that's when I realized this show was awesome
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This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis
#ah and 💸💸💸#so im always good in words compared to action so theory is not bad but my skills is lacking#im aware of it but im always a bit slow to catch up and all and that's one of my biggest insecurity#anyway today we had our last review skills session and i was unfortunately standing nearest to the trolley#so i was selected to do the tracheostomy suctioning and boy thats one of the skills that im really bad in#and i was struggling so bad and im shaking and my group has the top students and while i give no fuck you can see how they judge me#and the person in charge for that section is a master student who is having her assessment and i really dont want her to get bad results#so more panic and insecurity#but throughout the session she still guide me patiently and even say like its okay youre doing great and all#and by the end of it i got the grip of it but i was so upset with myself and regret everything#but then she lightly touch my arm and said its okay youre doing really well when i obviously fucked up#and then i just.. cried#what a good thing i wear a mask because two of my course mates are tested positive today because damn#and i keep on pretending to wipe my glasses when i was actually hiding my tears like damn this is embarrassing#but... i really want to thank her personally but i cant even talk just now and i dont even know if i will meet her again#because i really am doubting myself lately and that word is really comforting and i really needed to hear it#god 2nd year sucks i didnt even cry throughout my first year even when i did the worst presentation of my life and look like a dumbass#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol#personal.txt
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rewatching POI and god I forgot how much I just. do not like root. and how much I hated that she just progressively became more and more The Main Character/The Message and i’m just stuck here going ok can we be done with her yet
#for a show that had such great character evolution arcs hers was just. nonexistant. She Is Always Right She Does Not Need To Have Actual#Redemption Arcs She Just Gets To Say I’m God’s Favorite Now And Look I’m A Good Person and we just have to roll with it#like ah yes this is good???? writing????? apparently?????#anyway yeah I hate root and she was my ex’a favorite character which really explains a lot about Them :/#when she died I said thank fuck finally#and then she was the voice of the machine and I just yelled NO!!!!!!! the voice should have stayed the amalgamation & I’ll die on that hill#chatting into the void
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Ok but why do people think they can talk to me in an aggressive tone, but if I return the same energy then it's big no no.
#i just had a conversation on how ethically self made billionaires don't exist only to be suggested to become one if I'm that great like hm..#in terms of irrealistic ambitions i think i'd rather cast spells but then there's probably more chances i get there than finding an actual#bona fide ethical self made billionaire#i mean for example you could spend your whole life exclusively shop lifting and the moral damage would be nothing to compare with#what it takes to be a billionaire#not that i have much if any moral concerns regard shoplifting in general like it's at your own risk if anything#the main difference between shoplifting and work class exploitation essentially lay in#shoplifting is a minimal loss if anyone take in consideration the profit margin of most products that happen to be rather often inflated#so it may cost a few profit loss at the end of the fiscal period big loss big sad#but workclass exploitation is globalized and wage thievery cost thousands to most workers individually a year#but that's okay that's fair and fine they're just stealing everyone's fucking time ah i mean creating jobs yea creating jobs how honorable#now would they create those “jobs” if it wasn't so lucrative and exploitable? Do people do really thing these people create these jobs#to give people a sense of purpose or what? I mean it's soooo stupid 😭#like just the fact that we have to make LAWS regarding minimum wage should be indicative enough of a fucking problem
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Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) - G.S.
Synopsis. In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, FWḂ! Gojo, slight Sukuna x reader, rough VERY jealous séx, Satoru goes feraI omg, unprotected, FWḂ-to-lovers, thígh riding, fíngering, creampíe, overstím, spítting, implied thréesome, he’s a bit mean and possessive, swearing.
Word count. 4.8k
A/N. Heheh, hoping y’all have a lovely week coming up <3
“-n’ there’s this really great café downtown with those cupcakes you like-”
“Toru.”
“-I’ll get ya some for that kick you need after a lecture with Yaga. Speaking of Yaga-”
“Toru-”
“-he’s the one in need of a kick. I swear, that man gave me a B on my presentation just because I caught him in the middle of his interpretive dance routine-”
“Satoru!”
At this, Satoru pauses in the middle of buckling up his jeans to throw a grave nod your way. “I know, right?” Promptly sauntering over to pick up his t-shirt from where it had been thrown onto your bedroom floor, “It gave me nightmares for a few days, too. Which is why we should go to that café tomorrow and then…”
You roll your eyes - partially out of frustration, partially out of necessity to rip your stare away from those sculpted shoulders on display. Decorated in angry, red scratches running down, down, down. Somehow, you manage to grit out, “Satoru I have a uh- date.”
And ah, was it a sight to behold - because, perhaps for the first time in the twenty-something years that Gojo Satoru has wreaked havoc on this planet, he’s stunned into silence.
Still very groggy from sleep, still very sinfully shirtless standing at the foot of your bed. His kiss-bitten lips fall slack as you plow on, “And it’s just- I can’t make it tomorrow night because he invited me to his party.”
Party? This was the first time you canceled one of your…appointments with your friend-with-benefits - and it was for some party? Satoru could do parties, too - much better ones than this loser, he’s sure. Ones that would actually warrant you bailing on him.
Shaking away the strange thoughts ringing in his mind, he spits, “Who?” Just about all he could get out now.
Whoever he was - it was true about the parties. Why would you want to waste any time going to something like that when Satoru was the one known for them on campus. Him and Suku-
“It’s Sukuna.”
“Oh.”
---
It was stupid - it was ridiculous. And you don’t know why Sukuna ever agreed to this scheme, but here you were, glued to his side like his favorite lil’ plaything for the night.
“What?” you shout for the nth time tonight, scooting closer on the couch. And you see his lips move, yet, to your frustration - despite being seated so flush against you - no sound comes out of them.
Whatever they say about Sukuna and Satoru’s parties were true - and then some. Because right now, it was so loud you could barely hear yourself think, let alone whatever Sukuna was talking about. Heaving out a sigh, you get ready to give up and suggest joining the thrumming dance floor - before, a large, soft hand glides down to your waist.
Fingers digging into the plush of your hips as Sukuna yanks you easily to plop down onto his waiting lap. Thighs strong and steady underneath yours, meeting your surprised gaze with his smug one, “This better?”
His hot breath fans the shell of your ear, sending traitorous shivers running along your spine - all the way down to where Sukuna was resting hand right above where your tight dress was hiking up.
Involuntarily, you find yourself nodding along, “Y-yeah. Much better.”
“Good.”
Fuck, you could feel each and every rumble of his broad chest against yours as he continues the conversation like nothing happened. The faint tap! tap! tap! of Sukuna’s fingers drumming on your squirming hips to the beat of the pounding music.
And it’s really hard to forget where you are, yet it hits you like a semi-truck - five of them, in fact - when his dark eyes widen at something over your shoulders. The steady beat of his fingers halting abruptly, “Oh?”
You knew what that look meant - knew who it meant. Because, really, there was only ever one person that could command as much attention in such a hazy, packed campus party.
Dipping your head, you hastily ask, “Is he looking over at us?”
To which Sukuna finally tears his gaze away, amusement and something else so dark swirling behind his gaze when he grabs the back of your throat. Whispering against the skin, “More than looking, pretty. Satoru’s planning my funeral and dancing on my grave already.” Moving up, voice dropping to a low, low whisper, “All according to plan, of course. N’ I think…” You jolt as he bites down on your earlobe, hard. “-that we should give him a lil’ show, hm?”
You bite back a soft moan, palms smoothing over Sukuna’s pecs to steady yourself. “And just what did you have in mind?”
“A little bit of this.” he grins, eyes flickering over behind you. “A little bit of that. And some of-” Sukuna chuckles at the way you’re so responsive underneath his touch, bucking when he gives your ass a tight squeeze. Tracing right up, up, up the middle of your spine, “-this.” Lips just inches away from yours now, close. “And you get him as a new boyfriend, and I get killed for taking what I can’t have.”
You feel something soft - fleeting.
And then immediately Sukuna’s pulling away, those lips that were just barely one yours curling up into such a sly smirk, “Yo, Satoru.”
You stiffen at the name - and the burning hole being stared into your back right now - whipping your head around to be met face-to-face with a towering Satoru. Brows furrowed, biceps rippling when he crosses his arms, lips drawn tight as he hisses through his teeth, “Seems the two of you are having a lot of fun.”
Oh, were you thankful for Sukuna’s sharp mouth right about now. Because while you’re still sitting there with your mouth stupidly agape, he muses, “Mhm, a lot of fun.” Thumbing your face back towards him, “Isn’t that right, pretty?”
Fuck, those were fighting words, ones that had Satoru looming closer - practically sandwiching you between the two men.
“I’m sure she can speak for herself.” he snaps back, slender fingers circling your wrist. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
“I dunno, Toru.” And, well, maybe you were an idiot. Maybe you were a mastermind, because you only bat your lashes up at Satoru so deceivingly innocently. “Kuna here-” relishing in the way he flinches at the nickname, “-was jus’ telling me how great of a boyfriend he’d be. Right?”
The other man nods, “Since this pretty lil’ thing is single, thought I might as well take a shot.”
“Please.” Satoru was pulling you closer against him now, irritated huffs prickling waves of goosebumps across your skin. Words venomous, “Some boyfriend he’d be. I’m sure he’d do nothing other than give you weak dick and bore you to death.”
Sukuna scoffs, “Right, because yours is so much better?”
“You really think you have what it takes to satisfy this lil’ minx?”
Both men were gritting their teeth, trapping you between them. People were starting to stare now - some even pulling their phones out to start recording in case of a fight. And before the argument could escalate until that point, you catch Sukuna’s eye. Cutting off whatever next retort was on the tip of his tongue with a short, subtle shake of your head.
“Well then…” he instead purrs, grinning as if he was in on some inside joke between the two of you - on purpose, of course, just to watch Satoru’s eyes grow harder. “Guess if I’m ‘boring her to death’ then you-” Sukuna gives you a little push, nudging you towards Satoru’s chest. “-can teach her all about fun.”
Before you can react, two strong arms are looping your waist, helping you stand up - and pulling you clean off of Sukuna’s lap.
You’re hit with Satoru’s expensive, heady cologne - and his chest against your back, rock-hard, chest thumping wildly. You blink up at that uncharacteristically clenched jaw, “Toru?”
Now, you’ve seen him moody, you’ve seen him irritated - but never to this extent. Positively fuming, teeth grit, jolting at the mere sound of your voice as if his whole body was hit with a wave of electricity. Like some hidden, primal part of himself was being poked so dangerously awake when you softly intertwine your fingers with his. All gentle against his almost bruising hold, you question, “Are you alri-”
You don’t get to finish the question, because all it takes is another slow, leering grin flashed at you from Sukuna before Satoru mutters, gravelly. “Excuse us, then. I must have a talk with my woman.”
Starting to walk in long, fast strides upstairs - with you all stumbling and trying to keep up behind him.
Urgent. Dangerous.
“Extra room’s unlocked, you two!” you hear Sukuna call out after the both of you. And the last sight you see of him is when he mouths a silent “You’re welcome.”. One hand flashing you a thumbs up, the other adjusting the crotch of his pants. “Have fun.”
Satoru only clicks his tongue, moving very purposefully towards where Sukuna’s bedroom was instead.
“Woah- Toru, slow down.” you yelp, out of breath at his ruthless pace. But of course, since this is Satoru, he won’t have it any way other than stopping immediately in his tracks. Turning briefly around to you - only to wrap two arms around your waist, throwing you so easily over his shoulder like some ragdoll. Large palms tugging down the hem of your ass as he continues walking. “Y-you’re so-”
So what? Mean? Jealous? Playing right into your hands?
You don’t even know - nor do you really care, because Satoru finally reaches his destination.
“Fuck- here.” he spits.
Slam!
The door is flung open so hard it almost rattles off its hinges - and you aren’t faring any better. Because no sooner has Satoru stepped inside, he’s throwing you onto the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.
The mattress dips as he slowly makes his way up to you, your legs quiver at how much he just looked like a man starved - eyes half-lidded and crazed, hair ruffled. Having finally found a full meal in years. Darkly eyeing down the way you’re splayed out like such a slut on the mattress, dress hiking up with each bounce at the sheer force of his throw.
“So-” Satoru’s fingers reach out to lazily unbuckle the straps of your heels. Lingering much more than necessary. “-got anything to say?”
You bite your lower lip, holding back a delighted grin while his hands dance up your thigh to fiddle with that garter you knew he’d love. Slow. Agonizingly slow. Cocking your head in faux-confusion, “Hmm, like what?”
“Oh I dunno.” Satoru muses, saccharine sweet. And oh you could tell by his tone that he didn’t like that - didn’t want to like it. Running his fingers feather-light all the way down your legs to fling that useless garter onto the floor. “How about a ‘oh I’m so sorry, Toru, for bailing on you and acting like such a slut with the biggest asshole on campus jus’ to rile you up.’”
You bristle at his mockingly high tone, oh yeah, your plan worked - hell, maybe too well.
Teeth clenched, you hiss, “Well what are you gonna do about it, Toru?” Jutting your chin in defiance, “You’re not even my boyfriend. Maybe he jus’ fucks me better than you.”
“Say that again.”
Fuck, it takes you a second to even recognise his voice as your familiar friend-with-benefits. So jagged and raw.
And yet, you’re still running your mouth - so close to his. Too close. “Maybe he jus’ fucks me be-”
Now, usually you were the one that’d shut up Satoru mid-sentence - this time, however, he’s the one crashing his lips against yours. Swallowing the rest of that sentence in such a messy clash of teeth, and spit, and desperation.
Pulling ever-so-slightly on your glossy lower lip with his teeth, “Say it again, sweetheart.”
Oh, you knew you shouldn’t. Not one bit. But you do it anyway, letting out a muffled, “He f-”
And again. And again and again and-
Each and every time Satoru’s kissing away your mean little words, a large hang coming up around your throat to thumb apart your lips further. “Open.” he hisses against your mouth, so angry.
It’s as if on autopilot when you do, bruised lips sagging open. Leaving the perfect lil’ opening for Satoru to spit onto your lolling tongue, once. Twice. Thrice. Until your bleary eyes are snapping open, whining against Satoru’s iron-hold fist when you pathetically try to pull away in embarrassment.
Because shit, let it be known that Gojo Satoru has perfect aim - except for when it comes to you. Letting the steady strip of spit splatter against the side of your mouth, gliding his thumb to smear it all over your lips.
“How cute.” Satoru coos, eyes hooded. He gives your pouty mouth a final, chaste peck, sucking softly on your bottom lip. Chuckling, “Makin’ me almost forget you were locking lips with some other bitch earlier.”
And Satoru has the audacity to laugh - laugh - hoarse, and humorless at the way your jaw drops open in disbelief. Humming into your throat, “Yer right, though, m’not your boyfriend.” He leaves little bite marks down your racing pulse, your collarbone, your tits spilling out of your sinful dress. Eyes just devouring you through his long lashes, “But that doesn’t make you any less mine.”
Sitting back on the mattress, all it takes him is a simple tug on your hips to seat you so prettily on his lap. Your legs trembling around his thick thighs, gasping at the feeling of something so rock-hard right under your clothed pussy.
“Since ya like riding thighs so much, sweetheart-” Bunching your dress up at your hips, gripping your waist - tight. “-let’s see how you like mine.”
“What- oh ngh- fuck-” you’re gasping when he just starts dragging your sloppy hips down his thigh. Long, harsh movements that don’t even ease you into it.
“Shit.” Satoru groans at the feeling of your cunt drooling, seeping into his skin already. He’s angling his head to spy on the heavenly view - hooking a finger around your drenched panties. “This damn thing is-” Pulling - tearing. “-in the way.”
You’re gasping when Satoru pulls back to look at you with a content grin, dangling the flimsy fabric around his finger like a badge of honor. “You’re- ngh- buying me a new one.”
“Oh, anything for you.” he’s grazing his teeth along your earlobe, fingers finding their way back on your hips to grind them on his thigh, back and forth. Up and down up and down up and- “Or is that what you wanted me to say?”
And shit Satoru is so mean with the way he gives your ass a sharp smack! Pulling your whiny face closer, grinning sternly against your lips. “Why don’t you ask that new boytoy of yours to buy you some, huh?”
“B-but-”
“B-b-but-” he mocks, bouncing his knees up and down to get you to slide your cunt down his long thighs faster. Puffy folds spreading so shamefully open - so shamefully good. “You were so happy being such a slut for him before, right?” Just goading on your poor self to huff and puff in a way that made his cock twitch wildly. “So why are you here? With me?”
You’re stubbornly keeping your lips sealed shut to keep yourself from crying out - and oh, Satoru didn’t like that. Almost as much as he didn’t like seeing you giving those beautiful heart-eyes at some other bastard.
“Oh? Playing shy now?” Smack! “What happened to the slut from earlier, huh?” Bouncing his knee faster. The pads of his long fingers sting into your skin, sure to leave bruises for him to admire later - and for some people to take note of. Pulling - drawing your cunt to hump him like a bitch in heat. “Tha’s alright, pretty. I get it.”
And Satoru - mean, mean Satoru - waits until your features soften in relief, almost letting out a sigh - before dipping a hand down to brush a thumb at your pretty clit. Hard. “Guess I’ll jus’ have to bring her out.”
“Oh- fuck fuck fuck-” you mewl, nails digging into Satoru’s shoulders when he starts to draw frenzied, methodical little circles on your throbbing clit. “S’too- good- oh my god-”
“‘Toru’ works jus’ fine, sweetheart.”
But oh for how confident Satoru was talking you into insanity, he can’t help but gape in wonder down below him, awe-struck with how sloppy you were. He could see you sweet sweet juices trailing down his palm, that glossy sheen on his thigh. “You’re so dripping wet, pretty. Who’re you this wet for? Me or-” Satoru’s free hand comes up to squish your cheeks together into an embarrassing pout, turning your head to the adjacent wall, where Sukuna had a framed photograph of himself - because of course he did. “-him?”
Fuck, Satoru can’t even be mad at the way he feels your cunt clench in surprise - because the feeling is so heavenly. His pretty girl, getting off on just his thigh.
Hips stuttering as you move faster - sloppier. So, so filthily all the way from around his knee just till where you could feel the curve of his massive erection.
He doesn’t even have to move your hips for you anymore - you’re moving as if on instinct at this point. And it makes him smirk, “Heh, such a slutty lil’ thing aren’t ya? Gettin’ off on my thigh?” Feeling you push your hips down hard - so hard. Pelvis desperately trying to hit all your sweet spots, “N’ who’s thigh are you riding right now?”
It’s all you can do to manage out a whimpering “Y-you.”
But, of course, that wasn’t enough. And Satoru’s only quirking his fingers just enough on your clit to make you cry out loud. “Yeah tha’s more like it. Louder now - who’s thigh are you riding right now?”
“You-”
“N’ who got you this fucking wet?”
You cry out when Satoru angles his leg up ever-so-slightly to watch gravity slide you faster down his thigh. Clit catching so fucking obscenely along the fabric of his pants. Ruthless.
“F-fuck you, Toru!”
“Mhmmm, thought so.” His hot tongue darts out to catch those big, fat tears rolling down your cheeks at the unforgiving stimulation. Muscled thighs burning lightly now - faster - fingers so erratic. Only getting even more so. “Cuz you’re mine aren’t ya?”
You cum so hard - violent, even - that you don’t realize when you are. Just that you’re letting out a broken sob of Satoru’s name while he toys so relentlessly with your clit through your high.
Flashes of white in your vision, your heartbeat in your ears. So good that you’re almost tearing apart his button-up to shreds, hips jerky and sensitive as you your sloppy cunt gushes all over Satoru’s thigh. And, fuck, you’ve never felt so much like such a slut than when you look down to catch the glossy coating all over it.
One that Satoru swipes thumb at - pooling the syrupy slick on his fingerpad before bringing up to his pretty pink lips and-
Pop!
“Mmm.” He groans, muffled. “Fuck, you’re so sweet - could taste you forever.” Eyes rolling to the back of his head at your addictive taste, “Almost makes me forget that you didn’t answer my last question.”
And you don’t know what you’re reeling more from - the way that Satoru throws you around so easily, pushing you back until you’re splayed out against the plush mattress, shaky legs on his shoulders, arms around his neck. Or from the realization that shit, you’d been too busy losing your absolute sanity to answer his question.
“I- I didn’t hear.” you make up an excuse, heels digging into the muscles of Satoru’s shoulders now. “I’m yours, Tor-”
“Now now, don’t try that with me, sweetheart.” Satoru cuts off your flurry of apologies, kissing softly at the ankle beside his neck while he pulls off your dress and bra. You didn’t need those, anyway. “Guess I just hafta prove it to ya, right?”
And fuck was he well and fully intent on proving it to you. Because the words are barely out of his mouth before he’s peeling down his drenched pants - and those unnecessary boxers right along with it, too.
Satoru hisses when his painfully hard erection smacks against those toned abs, smearing precum in a small, filthy little pool. So so angry with the need to be inside your tight pussy - to prove to you from the inside out that you were his.
“Ya like what you see?” he notices your fixed stare at his cock. Greedily following the precum beading at his fat, red head, making its way between Satoru’s prominent veins. To those tufts of white way down, down, down- “Hey there.” You’re startled out of your little reverie by two wet fingers being snapped in your face, “As flattered as I am, this is actually my favorite part.”
And fuck you could see why it was.
Because it felt so sinful to watch with bated breath at the way Satoru fists his swollen cock, gliding his weeping tip between your swollen folds. Letting your pretty pussy slobber all over him. Up and down. Again. And again. Teasing.
“P-please, Toru-” you whine around the fifth time he’s “accidentally” nudging at your poor clit. Hips bucking up in need for more more more- “Enough teasing, jus’ wan’ you ngh- inside me.”
To Satoru, no sweeter words have been spoken. But he still manages to curl his lips into a leering smirk at your fucked-out, needy self. “Funny. Coming from someone who shit- pretty, you’re pussy’s trynna suck me up - who couldn’t wait to bail on me tonight for some other hah- jerk.” He presses his thick tip down on your clit, on purpose. “Would’ve fucked you ngh- real nicely, tonight, y’know? What a shame.”
You can only watch when he draws his hips back, lining up right with your sloppy hole. “What a shame m’gonna ah- fuck you like the slut you are right now.”
It’s all that’s said before he’s pushing in - to your snug cunt, to your fucking lungs it felt like.
“Oh- oh fuck, Toru-” you keen, back arching off the bed at the stretch. Satoru’s girth was rubbing up against your gummy walls and stretching them out so good. All the way until all you could feel was the rapid thump! thump! thump! of his throbbing cock pushing between your legs. “God, s’too big-”
“No no no, you don’t get to say that.” Satoru spits into your open mouth, hips jutting forward like some animal in short, shallow grinds to bully himself deeper. “You don’t get to fuck- ngh- act all coy when you brought this upon yourself.” His words come out faster - more slurred. Falling out faster and faster as his hips do, “Not when you decided t-to act like a lil’ slut hah- n’ guess what?”
Whether it was a rhetorical question or not - you weren’t sure. All you know is that you’re mewling up tearily at such a feral Satoru, “W-what?”
To which he only smiles against your lips, hips suddenly going still. Dangerously still. “N’ that means m’gonna fuck you like one.”
Before you can even react, he’s pushing in all in one go. Fuck, it never got easier even after so long.
“Oh- fuck I can’t take it- all-” you cry helplessly as he keeps pushing past that first ring of resistance. The curve of his cock massaging all those hidden sweet spots inside while he keeps splitting you apart deeper and deeper - not daring to even slow down. Not until Satoru’s well satisfied with the kiss of your bruised cervix against his thick head ,heavy balls smacking against your marked-up ass.
“See? Knew you could take it, you always do.”
And then he’s moving - not with the slow, persistent determination from before, no. Satoru was so animalistic, bouncing you unapologetically on the mattress.
Hands keeping your hips still to let him ram his entire cock inside your tight pussy. Over and over and-
“Still don’t think you’re not- fuck- mine, sweetheart?” Satoru runs a hand through his hair to see you better, to drink in the sight of your puffy folds bulging around his cock. Struggling to take in each mean thrust, “Because this seems ngh- reeeeal convincing that you are.”
You scrunch your brows in a pathetic plea, “I-I am yours, Toru- ngh-”
But he only brings his ear closer, “What was th-that? Didn’t hah- hear you-” Hands pushing apart your legs until they burned at the stretch. Until you were so shamefully on display for him, “You hah- need more convincing? Oh, I see.”
“I don’t! Oh- T-ngh”
It’s all you can do to let out teary, broken moans when Satoru rolls his hips harder. So carefully practiced with the way he locates your sweet spot easily.
“Yeah? You hah- like that?” he groans, words punctuated by a deep, harsh thrust. All hitting the bulls-eye each and every time. “Like me f-fuckin’ you like you’re mine?”
At this point, you’re scrambling at the damp sheets, the headrest, Satoru’s shoulders - just anything and everything to hold onto whatever’s left of your sanity - which seemed to be slipping away with each press of Satoru’s head against your g-spot.
But it still wasn’t enough.
Languidly, he brings a hand over to pinch your ravaged clit between two fingers. Having you whine so prettily with each roll of his fingertips. “Answer the question, pretty.”
“Yes!” you gasp, feet kicking at the sheer overstimulation. “I love it- ngh shit shit shit- I love it, Toru- love it so much.”
Shit, you might’ve just broken him.
Because while you may have thought that this answer would calm your Satoru down a bit - it only made him snap. Eyes widening, hips stuttering, swollen lips falling into such a fucked-out oh! - he looked like an absolute wreck.
Letting out a low, throaty groan of, “Oh fuck, you’re gonna be the ngh- death of me.” With this, he’s pressing his sweaty forehead onto yours, breaths coming out in feverish little puffs that match his merciless cadence. “Wish they could fuck- see you like this.” Ramming inside you harder - meaner. Giving your clit a light smack! before he starts playing with it once more. “I’d ah- fuck you in front of all those losers that think they have a chance just to show off how good you are f’me. Because you’re fuck fuck fuck- my good girl, right?”
You nod as much as you can, head just spinning with each brush of Satoru’s dick against your sensitive spots. Fingers twirling at your clit just as dizzyingly. Letting your slick glisten all over his wrist - his painfully squeezing balls - all the way up to his abs with how hard he was fucking into your tight pussy.
The both of you were getting so sloppy now. No care or concern for the party still raging on outside, not when your gummy walls were sucking up Satoru’s aching cock like that.
“No one ngh- can fuck you like this.” Satoru sucks on your lower lip. Ragged, like it pained him to keep talking, but he couldn’t stop anyway. “No one.” Milking you harder and harder like he was high off your sweet moans. More desperate - depraved. “Cuz m’yours.”
And he repeats that - into your lips, into your forehead, down your neck - over and over while you cum so fucking hard all on his swollen cock. Plushy walls squeezing so tight that it was almost difficult to fuck you through your high.
Ripping out strangled, raspy groans with each clench of your slutty cunt, “N’ you’re mine.” You think your vision gets hazy through your climax, and the only thing you can hear are those obscene squelches and Satoru’s voice. Like a mantra, “You’re mine- you’re mine you’re mine you’re mine- fuck you’re mine.”
Not straying too far behind, Satoru cums and he thinks he sees the pearly gates of heaven - with you, such an angel.
So sweetly whining into his ear when he’s painting your walls white, pumping rope after rope of thick, hot cum into your awaiting pussy.
Blinking back his vision only to eye the way it overspills, dribbling down your slit with each harsh ram of his hips.
“Wan’ go again-” Satoru groans. Only fucking his seed deeper and deeper and oh- he didn’t want to stop. Didn’t think he could stop with the way you were bringing out each and every single last drop like it was delicious. “F-fuck I needa go again. Swee-”
SLAM!
“Woah, seems the two of you are having a looota fun.”
Still not pulling out, both you and Satoru scramble to cover yourselves up with Sukuna’s now-soaked sheets. Well, mainly cover you up, for Satoru had no shame in staring the other man down. Scoffing out, “The fuck are you fuck- don’ squeeze me so hard, pretty- the fuck are you here for?”
“It’s my room, n’ I had a feeling you’d be here.” Sukuna lets the door shut so agonizingly slow, flashing the two of you a lazy, devilish grin. “Besides - this is my date, after all.”
A/N. Plagiarism of work not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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my friends like invite him to go clubbing with us! i’m gonna club my brain in.
#personal#one i invited someone else already so im not gonna be like hey single friend lemme go off with whatever this dude is and leave you with#my friend you don’t know with her boyfriend#then that’s such a weird driving situation#like do we stick with the original game plan of having friends bf drive and then have that dude meet up or#do i have him pick me up and go pick up friend which insane to ask second hang out#ah!!!#and then it’s like well you’re only considering the second possibility bc you enjoy his company and wouldn’t mind him driving you home#which leads into like well. what is this.#cause yes we’ve been talking for like a few weeks#had a very nice date#talked about getting TESTED#is it like. are we. just talking are we hitting and quitting are we gonna be 🫣#which is like what do *i* want#which crazy enough! i actually really like this dude so i wouldn’t mind a relationship#but then it’s like okay. what if he doesn’t like me. or only wants sex. hnnnn#and now i’m embarrassed about everything like damn he fr saw me spam my insta im gonna kill my self#what’s the appropriate amount of time to respond to a message- not what’s the appropriate#to ignore than respond but what makes it seem like i’m not waiting by the phone#which novel experience outside of friendship#and i’m trying to logic myself out of it like hey. good experience whichever way this goes#you got some talking practice went on a proper date that wasn’t dennys that you half paid for after they explained their whole books plots#I CAN TALK MY LEGITMENT POLITICS AND BELIEFS.#experience. which great. doesn’t do anything the whole im fumbling feeling like at alll#this is mortifying and i hate it. like i cannot exaggerate it’s a little disgusting#oh and then okay he has the time and does go clubbing#I CSNT FUCKING DANCE.#and the WORST bit. is im kicking my feet and giggling when we’re talking like die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i’m getting butterfly’s listening to the playlist he made me#regardless how this goes i am not doing this again this is way too stressful
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DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die
He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.
And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.
Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.
What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.
So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.
The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.
A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.
That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.
"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"
And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.
"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."
"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"
Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.
Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#joker#danny refuses to die#not again#at least this time he gets to make it funny#the bats are mostly confused#is he a meta?#but what kind of meta just... cant die?#what?#cork writes#cork prompts#just silly thoughts
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We had one of Steff's comedian friends staying with us on the weekend, lovely lad called Sam from Singapore. He had never been to Wales before, and he requested that we take him to a Welsh restaurant so he could try Welsh food
That's surprisingly difficult, actually. Like a lot of Welsh culture, our culinary traditions have not exactly been applauded over the years, so you don't really see them. But a lucky Google search revealed a brand new one has just opened in SA1 called the Welsh House, so great! Away we went.
Fuck me, they went all in.
It wasn't just the menu (though fuck me, what a menu - one of their 'for the table to share' options was little mini leek and cheddar Welsh cakes with salted butter and they were paralysingly good). It wasn't just that every alcohol was Welsh, even including the wine (surprisingly good btw, called 'Naturiol'.)
The table centerpieces were daffodils. All signs for the toilets were Welsh only. The walls had photos of Wales, modern and historical; the windows had the fleur de lis; the specials board (pork belly in Welsh cider and damson sauce with honey and wild garlic glazed carrots) had dragons on. I realise this is probably normal for country-themed restaurants, but I've never been to one for Wales before.
But the best bit, see, was the music
I clocked, when we walked in, that they were playing If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next by the Manic Street Preachers (you always clock the Manics). Ah, I thought. A Welsh song! In a Welsh restaurant! Ho ho ho.
As they seated us, it became What's New Pussycat. Ah! I thought. Another Welsh song! Fu fu fu.
Then they played Monster by the Automatic and I was like my god are they only playing Welsh music?? That's so cool! What an eclectic mix that's going to be. We should suggest to them they should look into Welsh language music too, really mix it up.
And then they played Anrheoli by Yws Gwynedd and lads, Steff and I lost our shit. We lost our fucking shit. Sam's sitting there, utterly bewildered. The staff are nervously edging away from us. We don't care. It's the first time I have ever heard a Welsh language song played outside of a Welsh language setting. We're so excited.
"They're playing Welsh music!!!" says Steff. "Holy shit!!!"
"Imagine if they played Sebona Fi!" I say, humorously.
"Nah," says Steff. "You can't in a restaurant. There'd be a riot, it's faerie music."
"...what?" says Sam
We explain the cultural phenomenon that is Sebona Fi. The song changes: Primadonna Girl, by Marina and the Diamonds.
"She's Welsh??" says Sam.
"She's from Abergavenny!" we beam.
"I don't know what that means," nods Sam, who is from Singapore.
Next: The Bartender and the Thief, by the Stereophonics. We're in high spirits. The extraordinarily Welsh wine arrives, as does the rarebit on sourdough starter. Sam, a gay man, delightedly orders the faggots and peas.
They play Ben Rhys by Gwilym Bowen Rhys, and we lose our shit again. Sam is now used to this, because comedians are adaptable. "They even have daffodils!" I say, misty eyed. "Is that relevant?" Sam asks, fascinated.
They play Hiraeth, by PLU. Hard to explain that one. Very hard to explain the effect it has when it's played in a restaurant, but Sam looks around the suddenly muted room and whispers "Are we in church?"
"It's about Hiraeth," whispers Steff. "So kind of."
Next: the Masses Against the Classes, by the Manics. Utter tonal whiplash. This playlist is not remotely restaurant appropriate. It's perfect.
"You'd think they'd pick like... a genre," Sam says dreamily. "We just went from church to the barricades."
The faggots arrive. "I forgot it would be a western sized portion," Sam says morosely, of what to me is a normal sized plate of food. He tries one, and brightens.
They play Sebona Fi.
The place erupts.
#I am going back there#going to try the rarebit next time#and the popcorn cockles#WALES!#closed for cleaning on mondays
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