#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonctzeny · 4 years ago

Text

Baby

au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta

other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 9,124

warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour

summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!

_____________________________________

You knew it was wrong.

Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.

He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.

The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.

Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.

m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?

you[00:12]: what girl lol

m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?

you[00:12]: nahh

fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too

you[00:16]: be my guest haha

you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale

tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol

you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy

Was that all you were to him? Pussy?

Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?

You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.

You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.

Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.

You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.

Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.

“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

You placed the tequila bottle on the table,

“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”

“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”

Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.

“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”

“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”

You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.

“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”

You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.

“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.

“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”

You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.

“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”

You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.

“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.

“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”

Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.

You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”

To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”

Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.

“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”

_______________________________________

You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.

After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.

Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.

You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.

Just then, you got his third message for the night:

asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around

you [03:36]:stop texting me

you [03:38]:we’re done

You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.

“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.

He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.

You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.

Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Maybe Johnny’s right”

“Huh? ”

“You should date me”

You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.

“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”

At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.

asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?

Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.

You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.

The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.

You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.

The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.

“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”

You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.

A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .

———————————————————

You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.

He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.

“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”

It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.

“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”

“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”

“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”

His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.

You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.

“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.

“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”

“Except Yuta”

“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”

You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.

“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.

“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”

Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.

“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.

Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“John, what’s up”

“Eyy chica what took you so long?”

You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.

“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”

“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”

You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.

“Yeah, he’s here”

“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”

You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.

“Why did you call me Johnny?”

“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”

Shit, you forgot about that.

“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”

Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:

“What are we celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”

“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”

You laugh bitterly.

“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”

“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”

“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”

You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.

“Is everything okay?”

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.

It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.

“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”

Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.

You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.

You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.

After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.

It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.

yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?

You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.

“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”

After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.

——————————————————

You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.

As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.

“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.

“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”

He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.

The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.

“So how has class, baby

You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”

“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”

“Why is that?”

He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.

“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”

You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.

“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“

It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.

“Yuta’s watching us”

All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.

“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”

And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.

And that included Yuta.

You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.

Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”

“Anything baby”

“Slap my ass as we walk away”

Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.

———————————————————

You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.

That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.

“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,

“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”

Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”

And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.

You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.

The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.

“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”

You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.

“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.

“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”

“I have my flaws”

You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.

“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”

———————————————————

And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.

You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.

It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.

The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.

“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.

“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”

He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.

“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”

You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.

“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”

He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”

“Is that the first time she acted violent?”

He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”

“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”

“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”

“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”

His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”

“Why?”

“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”

You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.

“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”

He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.

“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”

He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.

“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”

“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”

“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”

With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.

———————————————————

History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.

jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.

And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.

“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn’t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.

It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.

“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”

“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”

You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.

“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”

He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“Something like that”

You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.

You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.

You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.

He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”

Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.

“She’s here” you said venomously.

He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”

He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.

“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”

What?

“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”

He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.

“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”

The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.

“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”

Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.

You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.

“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.

“Well well well. Long time no see.”

Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.

You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.

“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”

“Since when are you worried about me?”

“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”

You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.

“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”

Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.

“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”

“What do you want?”

“You, baby”

Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.

“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”

He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”

“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”

Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.

“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”

You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.

And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”

You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.

“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”

“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.

“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.

“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”

The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.

You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.

“Why did you have to get so mad?”

“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”

“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”

You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.

“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”

You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.

“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”

That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.

He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.

“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.

“I don’t think I have the patience for that”

He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.

“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.

Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.

Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.

Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.

Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.

You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.

“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”

There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.

You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.

Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.

“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”

“N-no, never, ahh”

He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.

“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”

The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.

“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”

He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.

He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.

“So fucking tight”

Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.

It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.

“About what?”

The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.

“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”

You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.

“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”

He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.

“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“

He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.

“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”

You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.

“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”

#jaehyun smut #nct jaehyun #nct smut #jung jaehyun #yuta smut #jaehyun angst #yuta scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #nct au #nct 127

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sevendeadlymorons · 4 years ago

Note

Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

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mircallablue · 4 years ago

Text

So, in the wake of BeauJesters seeming passing, I’m going to take a moment to be more than a little self-indulgent and explain why I love these characters and their unique dynamic so goddamn much, as well as why I’m so disheartened by the way the show seems to be taking them. Warning: essay ahead lol. This is just a rambly rant that I’m writing because it’s cathartic to vent a little bit of frustration, and I love these characters so much. (and I love the entire cast, every goddamn one, and every other character in the show too. This is about love, not hate).

So, for a few brief and wonderful episodes in this campaign, I actually believed that I was being told a love story about falling in love with your best friend, and figuring out your sexuality, while also unlearning all of the untrue lessons that the world taught you about love while you were growing up, and in so doing, finding value in yourself. Which, for me personally, is just super relatable. Like, that ticks every damn box I have lol, which partly explains why I love BeauJester so much, and I know a lot of B/J shippers feel the same. I’ve shipped B/J from super early on, but I never in a million years really believed it would happen, for a lot of reasons. Mostly homophobia, biphobia and heteronormativity. But I enjoyed their dynamic nonetheless, even though I thought (and was often TOLD by other shippers) that it didn’t stand a chance in hell of happening.

So you can imagine how VALIDATING it was when Marisha, both in character and out of game, confirmed that Beau had very significant romantic feelings for Jester. All of the crumbs we’d collected over the course of the campaign were finally coming together and all of the gaslighters who told us we were delusional suddenly had to acknowledge that there was something there. And once it had been acknowledged, it was OBVIOUS. Omg it was so obvious and I loved every second of it. It was so undeniable for the next few episodes, and in hindsight, that there was something building there between them, there was potential. There was definitely a connection between these two characters. And for a few weeks, it was great.

Then Liam - out of character - mentions that Caleb is in love with Jester. And it is immediately, fandom wide, treated with more respect than Marisha and Beau.

I know a lot of people get very very angry when this is brought up, but it is just the ugly, unfortunate reality that a lot of people in this fandom treat Jester like a manic pixie dream girl. Even the people who do not consciously believe her to be that (and I don’t think there are many that genuinely believe it), are perfectly fine /treating her/ like one, as long as it serves one of the straight men that they love so much, usually Caleb. And this is where the heteronormativity comes in. Because even though it was an out-of-game confession with no bearing on canon, Calebs feelings immediately took precedence over Beaus in terms of the fandom narrative.

I personally have never liked the way Liam handles romance in game. He did pretty much the exact same thing in campaign 1 as well, where his sad boy pines after the happy girl from afar until he’s uncontrollably in love with her, and then with no warning he drops it like a bomb. He just happened to drop it out of game this time. The main reason I don’t like this style of romance is because of how (unintentionally) manipulative it is. You see it in bad romcoms all the time. The guy makes a public declaration of love that pressures the girl into reciprocating or looking like the bad guy. But the main reason I don’t like /this particular/ declaration is the timing.

Liam - who has always said he likes things to come out in game - inexplicably decides out of game reveal something as major as Caleb being in love with Jester, right after Marisha IN GAME took steps towards Beau and Jester being together. And it completely changed the narrative. Suddenly it was “top table top table”, and that's if Beaus feelings ever got mentioned at all. It was not at all helped by the fact that a lot of cast members (sam) still pushed Fjorester HARD, even with Jester telling Nott to stop, which must have sucked for Marisha/Beau. But even as recently as episode 99, Beau was still flirting with Jester, and there were definite hints at Jester maybe having unacknowledged feelings for Beau.

Then the hiatus happened. When we return, Beau is throwing herself at Yasha, and there’s not even a song for Jester on her playlist. And then Travis reveals (also out of game, like Liam) that Fjord has feelings for Jester (in a playlist heavily curated by known fjorester, Dani Carr). And even /that/ is treated with more weight by some fans than Beaus in canon confession. And Yasha is having all of these super convenient dreams where Zuala tells her its ok to move on, and Beau and Jester are barely speaking. And now Beau is calling Yasha her GIRLFRIEND? WHAT??? Did I miss 20 secret episodes that aired during hiatus or something???? Beau and Yasha have still, in 107 episodes, only had ONE meaningful conversation and yet their relationship is being treated as deep and inevitable. Sure, you can read into their other interactions if you want. But as a queer person, I am sick to death of my love needing to be represented as subtext.

And so it has become pretty clear that the cast has decided out of game to go in a different direction. And of course they are well within their right to do that. But I just can’t help feeling incredibly disheartened, and again, more than a little bit gas-lighted. It really does seem as if Beaus' feelings for Jester have just been scrubbed from canon - as if they never even happened. All, seemingly, to make way for a typical happy-girl-sad-guy relationship with either Fjord or Caleb, and a typical pair-the-spares barely-any-depth relationship between the two out lesbians because its easy.

For the entirety of campaign 2, BeauJester has been treated as one thing - inconvenient. Inconvenient by the fans, who prefer other ships and have treated BeauJesters terribly, and now it seems, inconvenient by the cast, who have seemingly discarded it and scrubbed it from canon.

And one thing that really upsets me is the amount of genuine viciousness and vitriol coming from (some) BeauYasha shippers. I really wish BeauYasha was something I could get on board with, I do. And a lot of people who are sending me hate seem to assume I don’t want them to end up together. But I would be fine with that. But as it stands, they’ve literally only had one real conversation in 107 episodes, and they’re calling each other girlfriend? While literally having not spoken about anything like that? While one of those characters is supposed to have canon romantic feelings for another woman? Imagine that situation with any other characters and it would be comical.

I swear, the queer ladies in this fandom have been done dirty. All of us. Imagine if, in campaign one, Grog and Keyleth, in episode 107, started calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend in the middle of a battle. (I picked those two because they probably had the fewest moments together of any VM pairing). That’s pretty much what happened here, and we’re supposed to like it - be grateful, even - because it’s wlw rep? And I swear, the number of times I’ve been called lesbophobic in the last month is absurd - all because I’m not comfortable with a canon lesbians canon feelings being swept under the rug. All because I want wlw relationships to be allowed to have the same depth and growth as the straight ones. Yes, even if that relationship is B/Y. We should not settle for less. Imagine if they had done this with any other character's canon feelings for another. People would be angry.

And I know there are going to be a lot of people saying “It’s their game, they can do what they like”.

True. I never said otherwise. But it is also a show. It is a product. They sell merch. It is something that they have taken the time and the steps to make sure that we care about. And this is what that looks like.

I know what happened here isn’t technically queerbaiting, but damn if it doesn’t cut the same.

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #beaujester #cr discourse #i look forward to being called toxic

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drethanramslay · 4 years ago

Text

A funny thing called Fate: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bryce X MC (Aisha Khurrana)

Word Count: 4.6 K words (yeah yeah its more than usual)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Warning: None, just some cursing

Author’s note: The next chapter is here and it is in Aisha’s POV!!

I decided to take part in @choicesseptemberchallenge20 and the prompt is heaven which you will find in bold.

TERMS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

- IIT, Delhi: It’s one of the most premier institute for engineering in India. Delhi campus is said to be the best one in the country. The majority of the Indian CEO’s like Google, at least have a degree of IIT under their belt.

-ku'uipo: Sweetheart

-'Ae: Yes

- Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai: Child, focus on your studies, friends come and go (TBH this is the one line which maximum desi kids have heard while growing up. That's why we can be uh.. awkward in making new friends lol)

-Main kya gadhi hoon: I'm such a dumbass (side note: gadhi (female) actually means donkey in hindi)

-Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine: I have not seen a bigger asshole than this guy. (yes I love swearing in hindi and what about it)

Forgive me if i made any errors

10 YEARS AGO- AISHA'S POV

My fingers ran against the spines of the book, my head tilted as I searched for a new book to dive into.

"Found anything of your liking, Aisha?" Tina, the librarian asked, her kind eyes twinkling. The old librarian loved me because I always helped around in sorting the books or with checkout. She suggested that if I were to help her, she would pay me so I decided why not?

But the lack of people coming to the library and their constant need to be fake on social media, flexing about their looks instead of textbooks often left the library empty which consequently resulted in free time.

Not that I minded.

In that free time I would either catch up on my study assignments or I would read the books recently added to the collection be it fiction, politics, history, astronomy... I wasn't picky about the genres.

But lately, my attention is being drawn to medical journals and textbooks. Yes, I'm 16 and that its definitely not people my age do but, to be the person balancing on the tightrope between life and death, the person who stands between existence and heaven... it's just a beautiful paradox that I can't help be captivated by the concept.

That and my strengths are biology and chemistry so its just an added plus. So, I definitely dream of being a world class doctor.

Not to brag, but I know all the pulse points in the body and can name the bones of the skull in my sleep. My parents don't know that because... let's say there is a reason why I stay out of home for the majority of the day.

Are we again going to go over this? I am sick and tired of your fucking indiscipline. How I wish you could be more like Aditya... Mama's voice rung in my ears which made me close my eyes and take a shuddering breath.

Now is not the time to think about how awful you are. I repeated it in my head like a mantra, making it a point to message my brother and rant about the newest development.

Despite our parents trying to pit me against bhaiya, we were thick as thieves. We always had each other's backs and we're there to cheer each other up. Whenever our parents would scream at any of us, we would wait until they fell asleep to do something to lift the other person up. Midnight feasts, movie binge or just cuddling and imagining a future where we were away from them... That always managed to cheer me up and I knew bhaiya enjoyed it too.

I don't think we fought that much either because we were pretty close in age, with only three and a half years difference. We are pretty like-minded and scientifically inclined only he was interested in computer engineering while I was fascinated by the engineering of the human body.

It sucked that he is in IIT, Delhi while I'm so far away. We still manage to video call irrespective of the time zones but it is not the same as having the comfort of your older brother.

"I think I will take this." I handed her a battered copy of Gray's anatomy.

Tina just gave a knowing smile and I checked out. I headed to the nearby Fleming Beach Park, which is one of the most popular beaches in Maui. It was a five-minute walk from the library and the majority of the school population used to come here to hang out in the evenings.

Not that I was paying any attention to my oblivious classmates.

I headed to Kimo's Beach Shack and the owner gave me a gentle smile.

"What will it be, ku'uipo? The usual?" They asked as they wiped their hand on the dishtowel.

"'Ae." I smiled at them and they started making my favourite drink- Strawberry milkshake.

Precariously balancing my bag, the drink in one hand and my wrist-thick library book under the armpit of my other hand, I headed to the quieter side of the beach, away from the raucous.

I settle down under the shade of the palm trees and lean back against the rocks, taking in the view around me. I could see people from my school roaming around in their swimming suits either playing volleyball or surfing. As I sipped my milkshake (looking like an absolute loner, must I add) my eyes drifted to their happy faces as the joked around, laughing and having fun with their friends.

The two concepts that are so unfamiliar to me.

When I was back in India, I had a good group of friends who I would hang out with and play basketball with. It was good but shifting to a new place can strain those relationships. I do follow them on social media but seeing them enjoying and doing the things which we used to do together, it causes my heart to ache.

And I never really tried making friends here in Maui because a) The people here didn't consider me as one of them and b) My parents kept on saying it is temporary so there was no point focusing on that. Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai. My dad told me the one night I decided to express my excessive loneliness.

Thanks papa, real helpful. I shook my head, sipping my drink as I carefully opened my library book.

"You look sad." A childish voice spoke up breaking me out from my melancholy. I looked up and saw a four-year-old girl, her doe-like eyes staring down at me. She was wearing a pink summer dress and a cute bow hairband, taming her light brown hair.

"Huh?"

"You look sad... and lonely."

"I am okay, keiki... Don't worry."

The kid's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "How did you know my name?"

My eyes widened. In the two years in Hawaii, I had learnt a little bit of Hawaiian and spoke in bits and pieces. And I'm pretty sure keiki meant 'child' in Hawaiian so you could imagine the shock I felt when her name was the literal translation of child.

Who the fuck names their child... child?

"A lucky guess. It is nice to meet you Keiki." She moved her hand forward and Keiki's hand clutched my big hand with her small ones shaking it. Her hand was as big as my palm.

"What's your name?" Keikie asked as she sat down next to me.

"I'm Aisha. And, what are you doing here all alone?"

"I came with my elder brother but he and his friends were playing and he forgot his promise to build a sandcastle with me. So I just went walking." She huffed and crossed her short arms across her chest.

"Well, your brother would be worried about you, won't he?" I asked as her eyes scan the crowd, looking for a guy who remotely looks like my little companion.

"Well, I think that's a go-good puni-shi-ment for him." She struggled with the big word.

Aisha chuckled and soon Keiki's giggles joined hers.

"You remind me of the times when I used to bother my elder brother like that. He would get so mad."

"Where is he now?" She asked as her hands fisted the sand, her eyes moving to look at the brunette.

"Well, he is in university, in a completely different country."

"Do you miss him?"

"A lot." I sighed. Her puppy eyes met mine and she reached to hold my elbow. I smiled down at her, appreciating the gesture. She opened her mouth to ask me more questions when we heard a commotion.

"KEIKI!! There you are!" A shout wafted towards us, interrupting Keiki. I saw a tall guy jogging towards us and when my eyes landed on him, I immediately recognized him.

Bryce Lahela. The golden boy of my school, with girls and guys falling for him, left, right, centre. And right now, he was approaching me completely shirtless, his abs glistening in the evening sun. He had a Polynesian tattoo wrapping around his left bicep and ending a little below his collarbone which had me feeling... uh thirsty?

Cool, cool, cool, just act like yourself.

Yeah as if that's helped you deal with your awkwardness. Her conscience snarked at her.

“Shut up.” I muttered to myself. But, I wasn’t subtle enough and Bryce turned towards me, a weird look in his eyes.

Off to a great start, Aisha. Keep up the good work. I mentally groaned as I went back to reading my library book.

"Thank god Keiki you are okay... I was so worried." He kneeled and hugged her, immediately forgetting my weird mumblings. I could feel the body heat emanating from him and suddenly, the anatomy of the kidney seemed more interesting than the hot guy beside me.

"Its okay Bryce. I was talking to my new friend." Keiki squeaked as she pulled away from the hug, two sets of hazel eyes staring at me now.

My eyes widened and I subconsciously reached to push my glasses up my nose, feeling the back of my neck heating up.

"Well, thank you so much." His voice reverberated and I swear I felt as if I would combust at the spot.

I looked up and shot a tiny smile. "No worries. Keiki here makes a nice study buddy."

I internally smacked my head. Study buddy? Really? Who uses that term now?

"Of course. Daddy says that I'm a beauty with brains." She said with a smug smile.

"Well, that's the one thing that I agree with dad," Bryce said as he settled down on her other side. The one feet distance enabled my mind to resume working.

I smiled down at Keiki and I found that Bryce was looking at me intently.

O... okay?

"Wait... You go to my school right? Lahainaluna High School?"

I nodded my head. I was about to introduce myself when his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

He was snapping his fingers when his face lightened up with recognition. "You are Aisha, right? The newbie who joined us last year I was in your chemistry class last year."

The drink almost fell from my hand and I had to clutch it tighter to prevent myself from making a bigger mess. Clearing my throat I smiled nervously. "Yeah, that's me. You are Bryce, right? You are on the basketball team, right?"

"You know me?" He asked, shocked and I could hardly stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Duh?! You are Mr. Popular with really good looks and either people love you or hate you." I rambled off.

A small smile played on his lips. "And which category would you belong too? The love or hate category?"

I gave a shy smile. "Let's just say I'm on neutral grounds. Give me a good reason why I should like you."

"Because of my dashing looks? My tattoo?" He stretched his hands wide, gesturing towards himself. His hair caught the evening light, making it look like a halo. His hazel eyes had flecks of gold which threatened to drown me but before I could get lost in his sheer beauty, I shook my head to snap out of the daze of his presence and gave a mocking sigh.

"Aaaannnndd, he is just like other dumb jocks who is overly obsessed with his looks. Why are they all the same?"

Keiki put her hand sympathetically on my lap. "Don't worry Ash. I don't like Bryce when he talks about his looks either."

Bryce gasped. "Keiki you are breaking my heart."

"Good."

He reached for her and started tickling her which made her squeal with laughter. I had to get up so that the sand doesn't get on me, laughing at the sight. "Brryyccee!! Stopp!!"

"Not until you tell me I'm the best brother in the world."

Gasping for breath with tears in her eyes, Keiki breathed out in defeat. "Okay, okay. You are the best... brother in... the world."

Bryce pulled back a grin playing on his lips.

"Good."

My phone rang and I saw Mama's name flash on the screen which made me sigh.

"Your mom?" Bryce asked.

"Yep. should reach home before she turns into momzilla." We chuckled as I put my book into my bag.

"Bye Keiki, it was nice talking to you."

"Bye Ash. I like you. Can we make sandcastles next time?" I laughed and nodded, "Sure sweetie."

"Where is my goodbye?" Bryce pouted.

I rolled her eyes. "Bye Bryce. See you around."

And with that, I turned on her heel, and walked home, feeling much better.

PRESENT

Aisha felt like banging her head against the wall of the hospital out of utter embarrassment. In the span of 7 hours, she had pissed off her superior, met her ex from ten years ago, got stuck with a partner who hardly did anything and now managed to embarrass herself yet again in front of her role model.

Rookie... Are you hiding from me? The way Dr. Ramsey had an eyebrow raised, as if to question why she was hiding behind another intern and the appalled expression as she stumbled over her words were forever imprinted in her mind.

Not my brightest moment. Aisha recollected as she sighed at the way she stuttered and finally came up with an excuse.

I'm doing charts. She mocked herself as she shook her head. There was a table right next to me!! I could have come up with anything but that weak ass excuse.

And she had always dreamed that if she were to meet Bryce in real life, she would definitely insult the fuck out of him and then for the finishing stroke, she would probably punch him in his handsome face or kick him in the crown jewels.

But sadly, you seldom get the things you wish for.

I don't have time for this - Main kya gadhi hoon. She mentally groaned as she tried to shut off the part of her brain which was so hell-bent on making her feel humiliated.

She entered Annie's room to find her curled up in her bed, playing idly with her phone. She perked up a little when she saw Aisha, forcing a smile on her face.

"Oh. Hi, Dr. Khurrana."

"I just came by to see how you're feeling Annie."

Annie shrugged. "The same. The nurse came by and gave me some medication a little while ago.."

Opening Annie's chart she checked. "Yeah, antibiotics. It's too soon to see any improvement yet, but hopefully, we'll see some results soon."

Aisha was about to turn on her heel and leave when she heard Annie's small voice. "hey, could you stay awhile? It's... kinda lonely, being here all on my own."

Aisha gave an empathetic smile and reached to sit down on the chair near her bed. "Of course I can."

"Thank you once again doc."

"No, thank you. I haven't been off my feet since I got out of bed this morning. So Annie," Aisha leaned forward, "what are you studying?"

Annie blinked as if she was confused by the question. She took a couple of heavy breaths before attempting to answer.

"My master's is in... English... but my... my..." She swayed, her voice woozy as she tried to finish her sentence.

Aisha was on alert. "Annie, are you feeling okay?" She asked as she felt her pulse which was dropping before Annie passed out.

The heart rate monitor sounded a long, flat tone as her heart stopped.

"OH MY GOD!! Code blue, I need some help here!!" Aisha shouted, pressing the button near her bed.

"C'mon Annie stay with me." As Aisha stood on the nearby stool, performing CPR as she waited for the code team to arrive.

"Aisha?!" Jackie's shocked voice made her lookup.

"Jackie, where is the code team?"

"Room 502 called a code blue just before you. Just keep up with CPR. They'll get to you when they can!"

Aisha's eyes flashed. "That could be too late!! Help me, Jackie we are losing her fast."

"What were her symptoms?" Jackie asked as she snapped on the latex gloves and moved towards the bed.

"Symptoms were headache and nausea. Started during her vacation to Indonesia. Aurora and I did a blood workup and gave her cefpodoxime." Aisha opened the gown and Jackie's eyes narrowed in on the rash rapidly spreading on the side of the body.

"She is breaking in hives. She is in anaphylactic shock!"

"Now that I think about it, it may be because of her allergy to the antibiotics I gave... I had fucking asked her, dammit." Guilt made her chest heavy.

Jackie's face turned into a scowl as she wheeled the defibrillator cart closer. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. This girl needs you now! We have to get her heart started ourselves."

Aisha nodded as she opened Annie's gown, baring her chest. She took a steadying breath. You have done this numerous times in AIIMS, you can do this.

Taking the paddles, she placed one paddle on the right side, beneath her collarbone and the other paddle on the left side, just beneath her armpit.

A small impressive smile made its way on Jackie's lips. "Good, now set the charge."

"Charging to 300 volts... Clear!"

Annie's body spasmed as the paddles discharged. Keeping them aside, Aisha resumed her compressions on Annie's chest.

C'mon Annie... You can do this... Come back to me. Aisha prayed.

The monitor beeped twice before Annie's heartbeat returned, accelerated but constant.

She let out a sigh of breath as she bent over the bed. Jackie clapped her back. "You are soooo lucky."

"Shut up. Now just give her an epinephrine injection and intubate while I maintain compression."

Jackie nodded her head and Aisha shot a grateful smile as she continued her compressions, her hands aching.

"What the hell is going on in here, Rookie?"

Yikes. Aisha winced at the tone and looked up to find Dr. Ramsey glaring from the doorway.

Time to own up, buddy. She sighed and spoke up. "Dr. Ramsey, she was allergic to the antibiotics I prescribed.

She couldn't gauge his reaction from so far away. "Well... at least you are taking responsibility. Sometimes patients don't know about their own allergies. That's why you always have to be cautious."

Jackie injected the epinephrine pen into Annie's tight. Still unconscious, Annie took a shuddering gasp of air.

"And now we intubate."

"Excellent work, Doctor...?"

A self-satisfied smile made its way on Jackie's face. "Varma."

"You were assigned to this case?"

"No, I was passing and I hear Dr. Khurrana calling a code blue."

A smile made its way on his face which shocked Aisha. This man voluntarily uses his facial muscles to smile? I wouldn't have known. "The patient's very lucky you were here. I'm not confident Dr. Khurrana could have handled this alone."

Now, wait a damn minute... Aisha clenched her jaw. This wasn't her first time she was getting insulted and yeah it was called for but it didn't help her feel any better either.

Jackie bit her lip and glanced at Aisha, which Aisha pointedly ignored. Watch her jump at the opportunity in 3...2...1

"Thank you. Just doing my job, Dr. Ramsey."

There it is.

Gulping down her annoyance, Aisha spoke up. "Dr. Varma really bailed me out." Aisha turned towards Jackie and nodded stiffly. "Thank you, Dr. Varma."

Jackie tried to read her, guilt swimming in her eyes.

She should be guilty, she took the credit of the save when I was the one calling the shots.

"...Anytime."

Fuck you. She narrowed her eyes slightly which made Jackie wince.

Luckily, Dr. Ramsey gave Jackie an out. "Dr. Varma, you should return to your patients."

A relieved smile made its way on her face. "Yes, Doctor." Throwing a backward glance towards Aisha, she walked out.

Dr. Ramsey swivelled towards Aisha, his face drawn tight with annoyance. "And you... you need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here. It doesn't matter that it's your first day, or that you're still learning. Whether this girl lives or dies is on you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, Dr. Ramsey."

"You still have no idea what's wrong with her, and your first attempt nearly killed her. This is the real world. No room for mista--"

"Hi, Dr. Ramsey? Sorry to interrupt." A short Asian intern interrupted him and Aisha let out a small sigh of relief.

This guy would give my parents a run for their money. Why do I meet assholes everywhere I go?

"For the love of God, what now?"

"One of the nurses told me... that one of the other interns told them... that one of the doctors said..."

Dr. Ramsey certainly didn't enjoy beating around the bush. With a biting voice, sharp enough to make both Aisha and the intern to flinch, he commanded. "Skip to the point."

"Dr. Toussaint needs to see you urgently." She rushed.

Dr. Ramsey pinched the bridge of his nose, muttered something about 'interns' under his breath.

Straightening his coat, who gave pointedly glanced at Aisha. "Remember what I said, Rookie. Next time I see you, you'd better have solved the case." He turned on his feet and stormed out making the petite intern jump.

Aisha stepped out into the hall with the intern, leaned against the wall and let out a sigh.

"Thank god for Dr. Toussaint. I swear if he wouldn't have called, Dr. Ramsey would have burst a vein or something."

The intern leaned against the wall adjacent to Aisha. "Yeah... Too bad he doesn't actually need to see Dr. Ramsey."

Aisha's eyes widened and she turned to stare at the other intern. "Huh?"

"I made it up! I could hear Ramsey chewing you out halfway down the hall, I figured you might need a save."

Oh my god, that is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.

Aisha smiled brightly. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. But you could get in serious trouble if he realizes it."

She shrugged with a cheeky grin. "If. Besides, I'm tougher than I look. I'm Sienna by the way. Or Dr. Trinh. Whichever floats your boat."

"I'm Aisha Khurrana. Thanks again." Aisha's pager beeped and she looked down and sighed. "As fun as our little adventure was, I need to get back to work. Nice talking to you Sienna and once again, thanks for the save."

"Bye, hope you solve the case. Also, wait! I heard all the doctors hang out at this bar called Donahue's. I think, just down the street. Apparently, it's like the place to go and decompress after a long shift. Wanna come?"

"Sure!! If only I survive my first shift."

Sienna gave a brilliant smile. "Assuming you live through the next few hours, I'll meet you in the atrium after we clock out."

And Aisha got back to work, tending to her other patients but Annie's unconscious face kept on flashing behind her eyelids and Ramsey's words echoed in her head, like a broken tape recorder.

You need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here.

She took a shuddering breath, doubt slipping into her mind, making her question everything she did. Every patient she treated and every prescription she signed.

Am I really cut out for this?

She tried to stop the rising anxiety but it still continued to swell in her like a balloon. Her throat began to dry up and it felt as if the weight on her chest didn't allow her to breathe.

Oh god, it's happening.

Feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown, she ducked into a dark supply closet so nobody could see her while she tried to pull herself together.

It's okay. You worked your way through med school to get here. You are worthy. She chanted, taking in gulps of air.

It had hardly been a minute when the door suddenly opened and she heard footsteps.

Aisha internally groaned in annoyance. "Get in or get out. Just quit holding the door." She turned around and saw Bryce.

Oh fuck.

He nervously cleared his throat and walked towards her, maintaining his distance. "I feel like I'm interrupting something. Are... are you okay?"

Thanks to the dark, he couldn't see her tear rimmed eyes. Sighing loudly she untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, something she often did when she felt like her life was on the verge of falling apart.

"Nothing. I'm just looking for something." She tried to speak in a sharp tone but it just sounded like her voice was cracking.

She knew that Bryce had definitely heard how close she was to crying. Concern laced his voice. "Hey, I know when we met I was nothing but a dumb, self-obsessed jock but it's different now. I... I know you are not okay. Want to talk about it? Or vent?"

Goddamit Bryce. "Fine! I almost killed my first patient and I fucking swear to god I saw my career flash before my eyes. But it was lowkey my fault. I should have checked for allergies. But I tried fixing my error by calling the shots and Jackie helped me. BUT that's not it! Instead of being a humble person, Jackie swoops in and takes the credit of my save and Dr. Ramsey just goes on congratulating her as if she won some fucking AMA Award-"

"Aisha, breathe."

Taking a lungful of air she continued. "- And don't even get me started on Dr. Ethan Freaking Ramsey. Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine. What a dick!! He should get fucking laid to work off all his anger issues-"

Bryce snorted but didn't dare to interrupt Aisha. From the short time they dated, he knew better than to interrupt her mid-rant, it only managed to instigate her.

Another deep breathe. "- Boy does he manage to make me doubt myself in every step of the way like am I worthy of being here? I mean, I threw my heart and soul into med school because I wanted to be the best doctor out there but dammit I don't think I am ready."

When he made sure she wasn't going to launch into a new roast session, he spoke up. "Wow. You managed so many years of med school, but eight hours into the shift and you're surrendering? Didn't take you for a quitter."

Excuse me? Aisha's eyes narrowed.

"You don't know me anymore Bryce. The Aisha you dated is long gone and dead." She said in a low voice.

He shrugged. "True, but I know that you still have the fire in you to do what you love the most. C'mon, you have dealt with worse but yet you are here, standing tall. This is just temporary. I know you can pick yourself back up and break down all the obstacles in front of you."

She looked up at Bryce, only able to see the faint outline of his body. He still was the same- tall, well built and with really good hair. "No offence but... you used to be the guy who would wet himself during chemistry practicals, what happened to make you so...?" She gestured her hand at him, accidentally hitting his hand.

He hesitated. "As you said, things changed and you don't know me anymore Aisha."

"Fair enough."

The lack of space and the awkward silence just fueled the tension between them. She could feel his converse bumping into her shoes and the heated gaze on her face.

There used to be a time when Aisha and Bryce would talk for hours on end and they never ran out of topics to talk about. Be it something as lame as which is the superior flavour of ice cream or as deep as life after death.

Look at us now... Aisha thought to herself, gulping.

Her hair fell on her face as she averted her eyes, unable to come up with something to talk about. Bryce's hand involuntary reached to push back the rebel strands behind her ear, his hands caressing her cheek in the process. It felt as if electric sparks shot up her cheeks, making her blush.

Bryce opened his mouth. "Aisha-"

The door opened and she heard a feminine voice. "Bryce I saw you giving me the look so I decided to join you-"

A woman walked around the corner of the help and Aisha's jaw dropped. It was not because she was shocked that he was dating, he could screw the entire hospital for all she cared but, no... she was topless.

"Oh." The unknown woman placed her hands beside her.

"Sam-" Bryce began and Aisha spoke up at the same time. "I was just-"

The confusion was interrupted again when the closet door opened again and a senior resident stood before them, aghast. "What is going on over here?"

"Oh fuck." The expletive spilt from Aisha's lips.

The topless woman, whose name apparently was Sam, quipped in. "Yeah what she said."

Well, this is totally not awkward.

AUTHOR”S NOTE #2:

Number one, yeah I dragged PB a bit in regards to Keiki’s name.. PB do your research challenge 🙄

Number two, okay so about the tattoo part, me and @bratzlahela were just talking about Bryce having Polynesian tattoos based on this post and I had to integrate it in my series lol

This is something I imagined 🤭

Number 3, Also I tried to change up the scene a bit with Jackie because tbh, Aisha is pretty fucking smart and she won’t be like “Boo-hoo. I don’t know anything” And about the part where she spoke about using the defibrillator numerous times in AIIMS, In India the medical education is a little more hands-on and focuses more on clinical practice rather than theory. Medical students from first year start doing ward duty and help around in the hospitals taking patient history, etc. Also, they have a mandatory year of internship without which you don’t get your license.

Number 4, So about that supply closet scene, how many of y’all thought would you get a make out sesh?

If yes, here is your clown wig 🤡

Number 5, AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT TODDLER KEIKI I SWEAR I WAS JUST GUSHING THE ENTIRE TIME 🥺

Lastly, IT PHYSICALLY HURT ME TO ROAST ETHAN LIKE IM SO SORRY SWEETIE 😭🥺🤧

This was a pretty long author’s note heheheh

Like, comment, reblog and share your thoughts ❤

Bryce X MC: @lilyvalentine @sanchita012 @zeniamiii @lucy-268 @have-aheart @utterlyinevitable @anotherbeingsworld @this-person-is-busy @cryinginthebackseat @mayascherub @jaxsmutsuo @rookie-ramsey @aylamreads @caseyvalentineramsey @arcticlumineer @chetachisblog @kelseaaa

Permanent Tag list: @trappedinfandoms @agent-breakdance @dailydoseofchoices @colossalpainintheass @siaramsey @raleigheffingcarrera @kaavyaethanramsey @theeccentricbibliophile @ac27dj @ramseysno1rookie @justanotherrookie @jamespotterthefirst @checkurwindow @chasingrobbie @junggoku @bellcat2010 @choicesstan1 @mvalentine @crazynutella @hatescapsicum @dr-ramseys-rookie @lilypills @vampireblissblog @decadentwinnerjudgedream @starrystarrytrouble @drariellevalentine @choicesficwriterscreations @nooruleman @anonymously-cool @sanvivrma

(Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist)

#anushka writes #oh bryce #bryce lahela #bryce x mc #open heart bryce #bryce lahela x mc #aisha khurrana #bryce x aisha #open heart #open heart mc #choices oh #choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #pixelberry #a funny thing called fate #series

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one-piece-dumpster-fire · 5 years ago

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Oh oh... it's that time of the year again,,,,

Days feel like they're passing by in a hurry, I always have so much planned but lately it seems like I’m barely getting anything done...

You guys must have noticed by now that as far as writing goes I'm kind of all over the place and don't really seem to be getting anything done. I apologize for that, and let it be known that for the last two weeks I've started to work on multiple requests only to scrap my ideas again the next day because I feel like it's nowhere near good enough to be posted. I absolutely don't wanna whine about notes or not getting enough attention lol, but it's very common for my mental health to take a dip when this season comes knocking and as a result I'm far more doubtful of myself/my skills compared to others on here and I turn borderline paranoid and increasingly anxious. Last year was kind of the one exception but only because I had entirely different things to worry about and was still lying in the hospital/in my bed at home, almost unable to move at all lol

Not to mention that both of my parents are currently sick and bed-ridden and my little brother is too dumb to do anything to help in our household, so tensions are extremely high and Mama Michelle is kind of taking over at home as well while still trying to keep her joints smooth and keep up with her daily work-out schedule!

But oh well, enough ranting- in conclusion, I'm not able to return to my usual writing schedule for now. I will continue to work on requests whenever I have some freetime and deem something good enough to be posted on here, but I don’t want to get y’all’s hopes up. My main focus will probably be on little things like reactions/match-up’s and headcanon with one/two characters tho, we’ll see. However I still want to thank everyone who’s been tolerating my bs until now and hope that the few people who still talk to me won’t be even more disappointed than they already are hehe :’)!

But I’m setting some priorities for now, and trying to force-follow a schedule I’m never able to truly keep up with just further drags me down. I hope you’re able to understand and might be okay with waiting until I feel confident and have enough time to permanently pick up writing again. Shitposts will continue as usual tho I ain’t going anywhere

And with that in mind, Merry Post-Halloween-Hello-Christmas season!

#michelle has spoken #i wouldn't call it a hiatus #more like a michelle-has-to-sort-things-out-and-fight-her-irrational-fears-and-mental-issues-like-the-grown-adult-woman-she-is-phase #my irritional fears of death are kicking my ass extremely hard and that shit can really bring one down #anyway i love cracker so much #did i mention what a handsome old man he is? gorgeous #keep me safe biscuitman #not one piece

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heisalonetonight · 5 years ago

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hi - anon from before - pls excuse me bc i'm absolutely /sobbing/ at your response bruh. thank /you/ for answering so openly (just like Adrien! :0 ) I'm shook at the fact you started publishing from 14 to now, that's incredible!! can i ask what you published? :0 Also wow @ that characterization of Adrien towards the end, it really makes a lot of sense!! is there a difference between Adrien and Chat? Or are they similar but just show different amounts of certain feelings? :0

Oh, just poems and stories! I don’t want to show off lol they were achievements for sure but I’m sure you have something better to do than read about them :P And thank you, I have a lot of opinions about who Adrien is and how he does it. Onto Chat vs Adrien - I think inherently they are the same person, obviously, but Chat Noir lives without the same sort of ... suffocation, I guess? Being Adrien Agreste is work. That’s something that he carries with him every minute of every day - being an Agreste means that there are always cameras somewhere, and his every move is scrutinised. As much as Adrien likes to kick back and relax with his friends, and really does love and trust them very deeply (and god, he loves being called ‘dude’!), the role his friends play in Adrien’s life is actually very minor, by necessity (not by choice: he would always choose to hang out with those guys, sans the nights his father promises he’ll make it to dinner this time - this time). He is working. He has expectations to manage and a phone which is waiting to call him home at the drop of a hat when his father hasn’t quite managed to make this meeting, could he please stand in, or Adrien, there’s a charity event you need to attend, or Adrien, please turn another 13 degrees to the left so the cameras can get your smile properly while you talk to your friends. Adrien’s got a lot of very high expectations put on him which are inherently expectations, rather than goals - they are things he can fall short of or meet, but they are so high it is impossible to exceed them, so his options are disappointing his father or .... not disappointing him.

Adrien really, really cares about his father. I think it’s underestimated, the turmoil that he goes through in Chat Blanc - since the disappearance of his mother his father really, truly changed, and Adrien really believes that that’s because Gabriel is trying to hold things together. He thinks his father has, essentially, fallen apart, and when has it ever been like Adrien to hold somebody’s turmoil and fear and sickness against them? His father is sick. He’s afraid of going outside, he’s afraid for Adrien so hard that it’s sometimes suffocating, and Adrien wants him to get better. Before he met Ladybug, Adrien Agreste needed to find something - some relationship - to anchor himself into, to strap himself onto and not let go of, and for him that relationship was his father’s. To Adrien, he and Gabriel are a team. The same sort of team Ladybug and Chat Noir are, the same sort of inherent and unbreakable bond that they have: he is inseperable from his father. Whatever this terrible grief is, whatever it has stolen from Gabriel, they are in it together. They are in it together and it is just Adrien’s turn to be the part of the team who does more work, and that is because Gabriel is self-destructing, and Adrien aches for his father to be better, more than he aches to be wanted. And besides, Adrien doesn’t do love like that (here’s a link to the fic exactly on that subject!). He doesn’t do it like his father needs to earn it, he has been loved like that before - like he could be loved if only he was good enough - and he would not wish that on his worst enemy, much less the people he loves. Gabriel does not owe him anything, to earn Adrien’s love. If the only way to express it - their partnership - is through the avenues of work that Gabriel opens up to him, asks him to do, then that’s what Adrien will do. He considers them a team.

Chat Noir, meanwhile, has a different partner - a teammate who will play the game with him in equal parts, who often overtakes him because she is just amazing and dynamic and beautiful, who soars past him on gilded wings and takes his breath away. And then she turns back to offer him her hand, to pull him onward, because she loves him, and it has never in her entire life ever been a problem for Ladybug that she did not feel loved, that she did not know how to show people that they were wanted. She has never even hesitated to smile for people - especially Chat - or to support him when he’s down. She has been wildly, miraculously, crazily kind to him, and been open about her emotions, and accessible, and responsive, and amazing, and his best friend (sorry Nino) he’s ever had, the best friend he’s ever been lucky enough to meet. And you know his luck! She takes his breath away not just because she is kind and gentle and soft, where everybody else in his life has always been hard, but because she is basically a genius and she knows it, and she’s ridiculously impressive, and Adrien Agreste, my friends, is 100% the sort of guy who is turned on by girls who can kick his butt, that is the sort of thing he loves, not least because they don’t need him to be doing anything - they don’t need him in the charity event, they don’t need him to be on call, they don’t need him - but they want him. Ladybug wants him. And if she does need him, it’s only in equal parts to how often and how badly he needs her. She is so.... Anyway. Let’s not go on a long rant about what he loves about Ladybug, I do need to finish this response conceivably within the next several years. The key difference between Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste is that the people who they tie themselves into the world with either love him or they don’t, and Adrien feels like he must be doing something wrong (not being able to reach his father properly - he thinks he just hasn’t found the right path - he thinks they are a team and it is his job to reach him, and he hasn’t done it, yet, and it make him a bad teammate), though he is very quiet about his confusion, and he does what he is asked to do because he has very little alternative. Ladybug’s team... being on Ladybug’s team comes as easily as breathing. It makes him happy. It teaches him everything he needs to be taught about the world, about how love works, about what it is like when you are just - well - happy, and you don’t care if anybody is watching. That same thing can be said, increasingly, more and more often, of Adrien’s time he spends with his friends - Marinette and Kagami and Nino and Alya and Max and everybody - and in fact we have seen the influence of people who really love him leaking into his behaviour, as he is slowly departing from doing every single thing his father ever asks from him, as he sneaks off to London (from which he was, I remind you, once banned, even though he could have gone to his uncle’s funeral) with nary a glance behind him, with this breathy little exhilaration which is only cemented by his friends’ acceptance and excitement rather than disgust and disappointment. He hosts his party. He finds ways to live when he still can, he finds ways to breathe these stolen gasps of air when he’s got the time to do it, and it just would not have occurred to him to even try, before this series started. Before he met someone (in this case, Plagg) who offered him an out.

There’s a lot to write about Chloe here as well, but I am already several paragraphs deep into this. Chloe’s role as his only friend is important and he really does like her a lot, she is one of his closest and is literally his oldest friend, and there’s a lot to be said for how he defends her and tries for her and believes in her. They are genuinely, really friends. But we’re not getting into it.

As Adrien prioritises his partnership - his team - with Ladybug more and more, he is growing to learn what a real team looks like. Chat is loose and easy and relaxed and he relishes that, and he loves being with her more than he loves anything else in the entire world, because he has her back and he really believes she has his, and the whole rest of the world really doesn’t matter. I’ve written about this before - he has long-held beliefs about the world, absolute truths that he feels he can dig and dig and dig and dig and he will never come out the other side, they’re just true. They’re just true.

But it costs Adrien something, to believe that he is a team with his father, and it does not cost him anything to believe the same of his best friend. Still, he will not ever let one of his absolute truths go easily (which is why he struggles with Kagami so much - one of his truths is that he is in love with Ladybug; and why he struggles with Chat Blanc, letting his father go, even though he knew that’s what he had to do), and that is why ... he is a sad boy. It is because he is fighting to find out where the truth is. He knows it has to be there somewhere. He knows it has to be buried somewhere under these swathes of work and isolation and barely-acceptable-son-but-thanks-for-trying behaviour. He just isn’t looking hard enough, there is want, somewhere under there. Gabriel wants him, somewhere there. It does not help that Gabriel throws out occasionally flashes of love, a hug here, concern for him there, a conversation once a month. It doesn’t help that he is being strung along.

(As a spoiler, Adrien is wasting his time.)

Anyway, the differences between Adrien and Chat are really just how much of Adrien is actually welcome, at any one time. Adrien mostly just works for his father, has always mostly just done work, he has a packed schedule - and nobody cares who Adrien is, they care what the young Monsieur Agreste can do for them. Chat is always welcome. Chat is always wanted. Chat always feels wanted, and she finds new ways to make him feel it almost every time he sees her. He craves that, and flourishes in it. I guess that’s the main difference.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug rp #mlb rp #adrien agreste #chat noir #ingrid talks #Anonymous

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years ago

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u guys know how crystalisks change color depending on element?

ohhh yeah

tl;dr: i went off on crystalisks for a while, started talking about vault monsters/guardians and siren tattoos, bloodwing, krieg, the elemental hierarchy, the bandits that got mutated by the vault key piece, the eridian ruins powering up, the moon [elpis] being teleported in that new vid we got with steve and claptrap, i rant about eleseer and technologically created pocket dimensions (heyo), and also there’s commander lily spoilers in here so be warned

i talked about a lot of things. i promise i linked them all together. somehow.

so we got the normal crystalisks that do explosive stuff

got Blue (the aptly named big blue crystalisk) that deals shock damage

(we also see a few more in hayter’s folly)

got Rouge the red one that deals fire damage

I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen any green crystalisks since they’re pretty common in the caustic caverns.

anyway the reason im bringing this up now is because a very very long time ago (jesus christ, 2017) i had a theory that crystalisks were kinda like pets to the Eridians, like guard dogs of the ruins in the caustic caverns. which could explain why they were friendly (iirc Blue was even playing fetch with Booth) until Dahl started mining them

mostly cause of the guardian ruins everywhere

also, they show up in the Vault of the Warrior, as well. which is curious.

the other reason im bringing this up now is because im wondering if their crystals have any relation whatsoever to the purple crystals we see sprouting out of the ground in bl3.

they hang out in the ground when not active, mimicking said crystals, and there are yellow crystals sprouting out of the ground in bl2 that, when meleed, produce the same crystals crystalisks do when they die. (tho now im wondering if we’ve just been senselessly murdering crystalisk babies :|)

bonus: we know threshers are native to elpis, not pandora, and their blood is green. Crystalisk blood is blue, which could possibly hint at the fact they’re an alien species to Pandora. AFAIK rakk, skag, bullymong, stalker, and spiderant blood is all red. and so is bandit blood. (unless they’ve been huffing Eridium sludge like Zarpedon. then it glows purple i guess.)

anyway

you guys know how vault monsters change color based on element?

just recently fought this bad boy so i have a plethora of pictures

(this one is cryo)

(slag/base- which you know, makes sense. gotta slag em before u can swap guns)

(this one is shock)

nasty boy

also, interesting to note: we never got ‘explosive’ as an element with the sentinel and in bl3, explosive was taken out of the element list

you know how Siren tattoos also change color based on element?

sorry i would show amara’s green/corrosive tattoos BUT this was the leaked clip that i had on hand

ohhhh yeah.

now we know Siren tattoos are blue when using their base powers. according to amara, this blue means electricity is the ‘base’ element for sirens (which just plain isn’t true given what we’ve seen with maya and lilith, unless they show that further in bl3 where lilith uses phasewalk without her tattoos going red... which I’m guessing will not happen lol)

which has me like 🤔

we know in the original borderlands the vault key is blue for the vault of the destroyer

in all it’s technological glory

then it changes to purple in bl2. and apparently, we even get red in bl3.

so i know what you’re thinking “well blue must be the base element then” but imma posit that it’s actually not

We know the sentinel, when it comes out of the Vault, the first element it is is ‘purple’ (aka slag/eridium i guess, since slag isn’t in TPS). which, as we said above, makes sense.

we know the Warrior was a biological weapon built/modified by the Eridians for... some reason. It was under complete control of whoever opened the Vault. (the warrior actually has 2 elements afaik, the slag tail/wings and the fire)

I wanna say we were SUPPOSED to open the Vault of the Warrior first. Then open the Vault of the Destroyer and annihilate it with our new cool biological weapon

so then the order would be purple -> blue -> uhhh something something

oh and Siren tattoos appear to always be purple when interacting with Eridium stuff

like when Lily touches the vault key in the Vault of the Warrior, her tattoos glow purple

when Lilith is being mind controlled by Jack/the collar/charging Eridium her tattoos are purple

etc etc

also MAJOR COMMANDER LILY SPOILERS BELOW

her tattoos glow purple during the final cutscene i believe. bonus i’m pretty sure the vault map was glowing white when inside hector. it was still purple on the outside tho soooo take that as you will. i had a picture but i removed it because i didn’t wanna spoil anything for anyone. the whispy bits do remind me of angel’s wings

SPOILERS ARE DONE

dunno if any of this is important but i will say

when u fight a badass skag that’s been charged by an element and is implied to be the result of eridium runoff aka slag? mmm that’s the good shit.

Bloodwing?? her base color is purple. but jack is able to change her element based on outside stimuli (and, again, explosive isn’t actually seen as an element, just a joke... a really... fucked up... joke...)

we also know a lot of the bandits were mutated by the vault key (piece?) in sledge’s mine. might help explain burning psychos (the ones that are literally on fire).

also maybe the eridian ruins are starting to give off ‘radiation’. you know how the original Eridian Ruins in BL1 were like white/blueish and then all the ones we find in BL2 are purple-ish? maybe they started charging up once the first Vault was opened and that allowed more and more bandits to start getting

borderlands 1

borderlands 2

(sorry for the shitty screencap, i hope it’s clear enough)

oh also maybe krieg’s ability to breathe fire and light himself on fire since he was a hyperion experiment. dunno if they did slag testing on him or not but... all things considered... it’s a probably maybe. wasn’t his assassin’s assassin the woman in the ECHO logs you find around the WEP?

also Terry the thresher? probably mutated like hell from living in those Vault ruins. might explain the size. also threshers being from the moon might just give them the fire/wormhole abilities inherently. since apparently the moon is some top secret eridian base that can see the future. im not even surprised. also you know. terry drops e-tech stuff upon decimation.

anyway i think Pandora is a lot older than Elpis and that’s why Elpis appears super fucking high-tech compared to Pandora’s ruins.

I mean look at the above then look down here

which makes sense, you’d make the planet before you make the moon yeah?

so elpis was probably put in place to watch over Pandora, maybe the Destroyer and the Warrior’s fight or maybe even to predict the future of that fight. maybe the eridians got paranoid and were like ‘fuck this’ and vanished because they were told they couldn’t win.

i do go into that whole theory of ‘zarpedon saw what the twins are about to do in bl3 and jack ain’t shit’ in an older post of mine so i won’t go into it here, but that’s another option as to why the eridians just booked it the hell outta dodge

bonus: in tycho’s ribs, some of the glowy lights are not actually purple, they’re red-ish

which has me thinking about the glowing red Vault Map we see in the Dev trailer. wonder if that’s going to lead up to elpis

oh! and speaking of elpis

yeah i don’t think that’s just an aesthetic thing cause holy shit

we’re all going to die!

yeah i actually have no idea what’s happening to the moon here

but im going to take a wild guess and draw your attention to that one scene with lilith

when she uhhh teleports in using her firehawk powers

we see it again when tyreen teleports in bandits on promethea

and they look

really

darn

familiar

im not saying we’re gonna teleport the moon but hOLY SHIT would that be F*CKING AWESOME

we also know ‘the moon is the key’ as shown on the cover art sooooo

it’s entirely possible?

which brings me to another point i made a while ago when the booth intro got leaked and i was talking about the ‘vault’ ‘not-vault’ area and decided it was on pandora because of the moon, but made a joke that maybe it wasn’t because i guess we could just move the moon.

what if it actually wasn’t lmao

nah im just playing, i’m pretty sure those are Rakk flying around there, but HEY it’d be cool!

also it’s pretty fucked up what’s happening on elpis considering it looks like it’s being bathed in fire... sucks for everyone on concordia but hey, if it means getting rid of pickle, im game.

OH GOD DAMN IT HE WAS ON SANCTUARY WITH TINA FUC-

anyway.

i wanna move the moon

oh also im still not convinced eleseer isn’t found by going thru a wormhole/alternate dimension/pocket rip/whatever

like, you know how to fight the Sentinel you go inside that giant purple crystal that looks like/is probably eridium? and the arena is WAYYY bigger than it ought to be? and it looks like the outside is made out of glowing graph paper and sick guy fieri flames that’s probably supposed to imply some sort of technological feeling?

oh and it does the “lilith just yeeted u to bloodshot stronghold- just kidding’ effect! which... y’know. my only gripe with that is it actually does appear to be somewhere inside eleseer given if u look at the ceiling it does look to be the same sky you see outside eleseer... but where the fck is eleseer... is it in another dimension inside the moon? bc i still refuse to believe the entire moon is being supported by that area... wouldn’t you see the crust?? somewhere? and it being in another dimension would help explain the whole ‘yeah you’re exactly where you were five seconds ago... but also you’re not because you’re in this arena and it’s clipping except it’s not so even though the sky looks the same because you’re in the same exactly spot you were in 5 seconds ago, you’re actually not (but you are)’. because what the fuck my scrub brain can’t comprehend that!

but god i wanna know if the eridians were harnessing the power of eridium and learned how to create pocket dimensions using their technology and fuckin DID IT the mad lads. i mean isn’t that what Vaults are? just little rips in this dimension. it’s the good shit.

also i wanna know why the Destroyer seemed to have pockets of slag/eridium on it’s tentacles when he’s supposed to be the VILLAIN tm of bl1 and also the eridians. might help explain why eridium only starts appearing after you off that physical rendition of him. also [see that one post i made about the crystals being corpses].

wow.

yeah.

i just spent a straight 2 hours doing nothing but typing this post. i should really go to bed. imma go do that

tomorrow i wanna talk about the seraph vendor. cause i can.

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #borderlands the pre sequel #borderlands 2 #bl2 #bltps

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spideyy-girl · 6 years ago

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Mine ~ Gilbert Blythe AU

Request: Request for Gilbert? The reader is best friends with him and they’re in college. Gilbert gets jealous because she’s spending time with another guy helping her in a class, and angst and fluff and just the classic trope of their feelings being revealed eventually? 😊💓

Summary: Gilbert had known Y/N his whole life, and for just about that long he’s been in love with her. Now they’re in college together, and Gilbert’s feelings have only grown.

Fandom: Anne with an “E” (Anne of Green Gables)

Warnings: jealousy, unwanted glances, mentions of sexism, super cliche at the end lol sorry not sorry

Word Count: 3253 (9 pages) issa long

Date: November 11, 2018

A/N: hope this is ok, I worked really hard on it. Feel free to leave your feedback or other requests. Taglists and requests are still open, never be afraid to ask! Hope you all enjoy and happy reading!

Also, John is Y/N’s study partner.

~Ciara xo

Y/N L/N. The only word he could think of to describe her was perfect.

For as long as he could remember she was in his life, holding his hand lightly in her much smaller one, her head resting on his shoulder. The image of them in that position in so many of his memories as he flashes through them, giving him a feeling that he's become so familiar with. It sent goosebumps down his arm, makes his stomach do flips, his mouth to go dry. He's felt this way for so many years, but never realized what it was until that day a few years ago, the day his dad died. Once again, an image of their stance appeared as the flashback played in his head. He could almost feel the light misty breeze of the Prince Edward Island beach near their small town, Avonlea.

"Gil?" her voice was so soft he hadn't even heard her, his own thoughts clouding his senses, his eyes caught on something in the distance, but he didn't know what. The light squeeze of her hand in his brought him back to her. As he looked at her, resting her head on his shoulder, he saw her E/C eyes already watching his own hazel ones. Her other hand came up and lightly caressed his face, fingers so cold from the dead winter.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to hold back tears, leaning lightly into her hand. She sighed sadly and shook her head, taking her head off his shoulder and her hand of his face, grabbing his other hand as she stood in front of him. She gave him a light smile, and he could tell she was holding in her own tears.

"No, no. Don't be sorry, Gilly. It's ok," she whispered. "I was just saying that if we stay out for any longer we might get frostbite. Besides, dinner should be ready soon, and we ought not to be late." She looked into his eyes, but it seemed as if he looked right through her. He looked back out to the ocean, seeing the sun hit the horizon.

"Can we stay, just a little bit longer? Watch the sunset?" He asked, looking back at her. He looked so desperate, she couldn't say no to him. She smiled and nodded, wiping a stray tear that fell down his cheek. He pulled her closer, into a tight hug as she lay her head on his chest and they watched the sky turn many pastel colours until it went almost black. They didn't know how long they stayed like that, watching the sky, listening to the crashing waves. Once the sun had disappeared from sight, the pair started to walk home in the darkness. They reached the part in our path where they parted. Gilbert begrudgingly took his hand from hers, saying goodbye and beginning to walk away.

"Gilbert Blythe! Where do you think you're going?" She called after him, an honest confusion in her voice. Gilbert seemed just as confused as her.

"Um.. home?" he replied. Looking back at the path behind him that lead to his farm. To be honest, he didn't want to go back there, he didn't know if he could. After all, that's where Y/N found him. After the funeral, he hadn't come back to the house, which worried her, so she went looking after him.

"You know I will not let you stay by yourself, especially after.. everything that.. happened today. We'd be more than happy than to have you over for tonight Gilbert. For the next few nights even." She said walking over to him and grabbing his hand in hers again, dragging her down the opposite path that leads to her house. "Besides, I need my knight in shining armour to protect me from the horrifying darkness of night." She giggled and looked back at him, eyebrows raised. He smiled a genuine smile, the first one in weeks, giving into her and letting her drag him along. She took his hand and swiftly put it around her shoulder, so his arm wrapped around her.

The knight in shining armour was a reference to when they were children. She would play the beautiful damsel in distress, waiting for her handsome prince to come and save her. And, to no one's surprise, that was Gilbert. Sometimes, she would get bored of always being the one in trouble and make Gilbert the princess stuck in a tower, wearing one of her dresses as she stole one of his sweaters and galloped along on the broomstick-horse, coming to the rescue. The memories, still so fresh in his mind even if so long ago, made him chuckle.

"Oh my goodness, Y/N L/N! Where have you been, young lady?! I've been worried sick! You missed dinner, so it must all be cold. You've missed all of your chores, so you'll be doing extra tomorrow, the second the sun rises!" Y/N's mother ranted as she put her dish towel that was hung over her shoulder on the sink. She came over and slowed once she saw the young boy beside her, still holding her daughter's hand. "Oh, Gilbert. Hello sweetie, how are you doing? I wasn't expected company, sorry the house is an absolute mess. Come in, come in, before your ears fall off! I'll put on the kettle." She smiled and rushed back to the kitchen.

Y/N and Gilbert, shaking intensely as they sat by the fireplace for warmth, sipping the scorching hot and slightly burnt tea made by Mrs. L/N, a giant fluffy blanket coated the two. Mr. L/N, Y/N's father, gave him a pair of his pyjamas to sleep in for the night as Y/N's parents sent them up to bed, giving Gilbert the guest bedroom across the hall from Y/N's bedroom. As they crept up the stairs, careful not to wake up any of her other many siblings, she took his hand and dragged him into her bedroom.

"Y/N!" Gilbert whisper-shouted at her. "What are you doing? I'm not supposed to be in here! A man should never be in a young lady's bedroom, especially at night. What will you're parents think? I'm not-"

"Gilbert be quiet! Before they hear us!" Y/N giggled, covering his mouth to stop his ranting. "There's nothing wrong with you being in my room, you've been in here before."

"Yeah, when we were younger, much younger. Now it would be frowned upon." He started up again. She rolled her eyes, setting a few blankets on the floor and one of the pillows from her bed, pointing Gilbert to it as she climbed into her own, obviously old and almost at breaking point bed.

"You're sleeping here. I'm not leaving you alone." She said, her voice going deep, serious. Something that wasn't usual for the smiley girl. "Gilbert Blythe, I sure hope you know that I swear upon my life that I will never leave you. And we will always be together, forever. I swear it until my dying day."

The feeling, that one mentioned from before, had become so intense at that moment he surely thought he must've become sick. She leaned down from her bed and placed a light kiss on his cheek, before placing her nicest duvet (which wasn't that nice, but he wouldn't complain) over his still shivering body, but this time he was shivering over something else other than the cold.

When Gilbert was young and asked his father what it was his mom was like, he would tell the boy about how she made him feel, whenever he saw her, held her, the undeniable feeling of love. He never quite understood the concept of butterflies, for how could such creatures even make their way into your stomach and still flutter around? But at that moment, in her bedroom as the warmth of her lips still lingered on his pale pink cheek, he understood everything.

He was so deeply in love with her, it almost pained him. But it did especially at this moment, almost 4 years after that night, and he still hasn't said anything. Which he thought to lead him to this moment, he should have expected it.

He was now at the age of 19 years, studying at the lovely Queen's Academy to chase his dream of becoming a doctor. Y/N was just about 17 and had been, much to her and his delight, also been accepted into the academy to study to be a nurse. That, of course, wasn't the part that had hurt, but the sight right before his eyes, an unknown man with his arm around her shoulders, like he had when they walked down that path, looking at each other, giggling at something, he couldn't tell what.

He felt honestly betrayed. She had never been exactly his, but he still felt as if she had left him, forgot about him and their promise. But mostly he felt angry. Not at her, he could never be angry at her even he tried (he knew from many personal experiences), but from that stranger that had taken his girl away from him. He took his book and checked it out, trying to avoid their eyes, but of course, to his luck, that was no use. He heard her call out his name before he slammed the door shut of the recently quiet building.

"Can we pause our session just for one second? He's my best friend." She smiled sweetly, taking his arm off her shoulders and looking back at the door he had just left out of. He nodded, sharing his own smile. "Ok if I'm not back in ten minutes you can leave! Thank you again so much for the help!" She called behind her shoulder as she ran out the door, tripping slightly every once in a while on her heels. She saw Gilbert's unmistakable mop of curly black hair walking just ahead of her, so she jogged to catch up with him. She tapped his shoulder, smiling a great smile as she linked her arm with his.

"Hey, Gilly! I didn't think you heard me in the library just then." She said, trying to get his attention, which was still focused on the path in front of him. "Gilbert, what's wrong? You've been acting so... distant lately," she sighed, pulling him to the side, to get out of the stream of walking people. He turned and looked at her, instantly feeling bad by the look of desperation on her face. He smiled at her and placed a strand of hair behind her ear gently, making her blush a little bit. Thankfully the red of her cheeks could be blamed on the cold winter.

"There's nothing wrong, Y/N. I'm fine," he said softly, trying to continue walking, but she wasn't having it. She grabbed his arm and brought him to a nearby bench, forcing him to sit.

"Gilbert Blythe! I know that isn't true, you know I can see right through you," she said grabbing his hands. "Please tell me what's wrong, I'll do whatever I can to help, I swear it." That look alone that she gave him almost made him cave right then. Almost. He knew he couldn't risk all those years of friendship over some silly crush. A crush that just won't leave him alone. He took his hands away from hers and got up.

"Sorry Y/N, but this isn't a problem you can solve," Gilbert said, turning his back to her, knowing the look of hurt that would be on her face about now. "I just need some time alone, away from you. Goodbye." It took everything in him to walk away from her and not turn back.

The next few days, Gilbert did everything he could to ignore the girl he cared so much for. He knew that she'd do anything she could to find out what was burdening him, and he knew he couldn't say it was her. It had been a few weeks since he last saw her, and it was an understatement to say he missed her.

He had seen her more and more at the library with that man. He couldn't help but feel as if he was being replaced every time he heard her beautiful laugh pass her lips, because of him. He tried to avoid the general area, but it was like he was drawn back each time.

Little did he know that Y/N was in just as much pain as he was.

The past couple of weeks without him had been much too bland. She would only leave her small shared apartment when she went to her study sessions with John, in the library. And even though he was nice enough and made her laugh, he wasn't Gilbert Blythe.

She had tried aimlessly walking around the Queens Academy campus, in hopes of finding him, maybe sitting on a bench, reading a book. But she had no such luck. After all, it was a very big school, with many people. Many more than in Avonlea.

But she was truly hurt that he had, as it seemed, completely blocked her out. She still had no idea what she had done to cause anything upon him. And the idea of causing such a pain unto someone she loved so much had burdened her very much.

She was out on one of her walks again, it was getting cold outside, small snowflakes fell quietly from the sky, landing in her hair and on her face. She felt as if she was going to catch her death at any moment.

John had caught a cold and wasn't able to make their study session, so Y/N was off to the library by herself. She was a bit nervous, walking by herself in a campus ruled by men, some of which with bad intentions on a pretty girl like her. Her eyes constantly scanning her surroundings.

Thankfully she had safely made it to the library, with no trouble, but some unwanted lingering stares, but she had expected it.

"Why, good afternoon Y/N, " the old librarian, Mrs. Dell said kindly. Y/N smiled and nodded politely, giving her a nice hello as well, before heading off to the books.

Gilbert froze up immediately when he heard the name pass the old lady's lips. He heard her dainty footsteps walking slowly towards him. He wanted to run but it was as if his feet were planted to the ground, since he knew that he did want an excuse of seeing her again, even for a second. His back was to her, and he had hoped that that would be enough for her to dismiss him.

Of course, he didn't have such luck.

"Gilbert?" Y/N's voice was quiet and unsure, but the raven black curls were hard to miss, especially to someone who has become so familiar with it. Gilbert didn't change his stance, so Y/N walked forward and grabbed his shoulder, making sure that this time he wouldn't escape. "Gilly, please, can we talk?"

He didn't look back at her, it took everything in him to keep his gaze ahead. He could hear her sigh and feel her hand travel from his shoulder down his arm to his hand as she pulled him out of the library. He was shocked but didn't bother fighting it. She nodded at the librarian as she headed out, Gilbert being dragged not too far behind, earning a strange look from the kind old lady.

Y/N pulled him closer to her side, constantly checking her path and using him as a human shield from the lingering stares. Gilbert realized the odd behaviour, and also looked around, wondering why she was being so cautious. Probably because she doesn't want her new boyfriend to see us together, he thought to himself but didn't dare speak it aloud.

"You know, even if you refuse to talk to me, I just wanna say that I am thankful I found you. I was starting to think you left. My, that would've been torturous. You're my only friend here," she says quietly, squeezing his hand. He looks down at her, seeing that she was already looking at him. Their footsteps slowed to a stop as they looked at each other, both trying to hold in tears.

"Surely that's not true. I've seen you around with other... people," Gilbert states blandly, breaking eye contact and looking over her head instead. She laughed.

"Well, maybe the only other person would be John but-"

"Yes, John," Gilbert interrupted her, looking back at her. "I thought you two seemed quite close. That's splendid." The last part of his sentence wreaked of sarcasm, telling her that something was up, and she thought she knew what.

"John is my study partner, Gilbert. We were paired up together since my professor thinks I can't handle my own work due to my.. well, gender." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, thinking of her nuisance of a teacher, who was too much like her old one in Avonlea, Mr. Phillips. "Besides, why are you getting so worked up? I've seen you with many other people and I've said nothing." Gilbert exhaled and pushed a hand through his messy curls.

"Because it's different, okay? I don't like seeing other guys like that around you. I don't want them to take you from me." He stated, not being able to look at her, his cheeks starting to burn up from the confession.

"Take me from you?" Y/N asked, slightly offended. "Might I remind you, Gilbert, I am not an object that you own. I am-" Y/N started to rant but was once again cut short.

"No, Y/N. Not like that." Gilbert said, taking her cheek in his hand. "I don't want them taking you away from me when I haven't even gotten the chance to make you mine." He couldn't believe what he had just said, and as it seemed, neither could Y/N. Her mouth went open, trying to think of a response, but nothing that could truly express her emotions came to mind. So of course, she didn't have to say anything and just kissed him.

She kissed him hard, everything breaking loose from their chains. And sure enough, he kissed back. They didn't care that they were in the middle of the campus, probably many nearby people watching in on the affair. Nothing could break the moment they had waited so long, too long, for. The butterflies from Gilbert's father's stories seemed to have tripled on their effect, as well as so many other things, as their lips moved in sync, slightly chapped from the cold. They broke apart for air, not moving too far apart from each other, placing his forehead on hers as she giggled, sounding like a wind chime.

"You were always mine, Gilbert Blythe. And I will always be yours," she whispered to him, looking him straight in the eye as her contagious smile grew a little bit wider. He smiled back, so big until it started to hurt his cheeks, and grabbed both her hands, pulling her in again and placing another kiss on her lips, guiding her hands around his neck, then placing his gently on her waist. "Until my dying day, I swear we will always be together."

And suddenly, John didn't seem that important anymore.

#gilbert blythe x reader #college au #au #anne with an e #imagine #oof #gilbert blythe #SEND REQUESTS #anne of green gables

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ahinhqs · 5 years ago

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hey yall~ it’s been a hot minute since i’ve rp’d tbh but i’m very excited to be joining you all !! this rp caught my eye and i knew i just had to join~ i’m bringing lil miss ahin to you all who is a muse i haven’t played with in a while but i’m excited to bring her back !! also,,,,,,, stan f(x) thank u

╰ ☀ ✧ ˖ KRYSTAL JUNG. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER. ‖ MARRIED YOUNG. MISSED ALL THE FUN. ‖ have you seen AHIN SONG at the beach recently? i remember them being so RESPONSIBLE, but they seemed a little GULLIBLE today. it must be tough going through such hard times at only TWENTY FOUR. even then, they still remind me of LARGE SHIRTS WORN AROUND THE HOUSE, PERFECTLY MANICURED NAILS, TRIPS TO THE LOCAL FLORIST EVERYDAY, A WILD SIDE WAITING TO BE RELEASED. ( lyndsey, 22, gmt, she/her. )

oKAY so !!! ahin is the younger sister of areum and the eldest of sunni and the youngest song sister

i’m just gonna be repeating things that you’ll all have seen in the previous bios -- the song father passed away due to a car accident when ahin was five and their mother going through so much grief and hurt, didn’t have the energy to look after her four daughters anymore -- therefore areum and their uncle stepped in to help out

ahin tried to help at times, often trying to play with her younger sisters to keep them amused, but considering how much of a daddy’s girl she was, she took it v v v hard

gUESS you could say she has daddy issues,,,, more to come on that later !!!!

she never felt like she had to grow up as much as areum did, but she took it upon herself to watch her sister and learn too -- mostly out of fear that something would happen to her big sister just like it did with their parents,, she was terrified of something happening there

as a kid she was pretty much into everything,, she could play violin, she played with the boys and was able to kick a soccer ball around, she was that kid at school during plays that would memorise everyone’s lines and whisper them to kids when they were stuck ASJDFHHDS all of that enthusiasm lasted for a few months after her father’s passing and then things went downhill

all she would do was her school work and then retreat back home immediately to hang out with her sisters,, for all of an hour before she’d go into her room and just sleep and sleep. she never went to the doctor or anything to get diagnosed, but even she knew as a young child that something was definitely wrong with her,, she refused to talk to her sisters, or her uncle, so it was something she brushed off

of course that all caught up with her and a few years after, she was taking medication to help her out

as soon as she got over the losses in her life to the point where she could actually be a kid, she picked up violin again --- she was extremely rusty but months and months of practice and she was back at it and continued to play throughout her school life

so much so that she had been invited to audition to be a part of the florida orchestra just before her eighteenth birthday

she had just turned eighteen when she met the man who is now her husband !! it had been a night of pure rebellion for her -- she had always been so well-mannered, so polite and a stickler for the rules,, and one night she was like fUCK THIS im gonna go out !!!! and eighteen year old ahin met thirty four year old david

and that meant goodbye florida orchestra !!!!!1 homegirl was dumb and wanted to focus on this guy she had met🙄🙄

david was basically her little rebellion in a sense,,, but a rebellion that she loved lol ofc she fell for the man pretty quickly and naturally she agreed to marry him when he asked a year later,, so she was nineteen at the time

she didn’t bother going to college or anything like that,, with her husband being a business man and raking in a loooooot of money, she didn’t have to do anything and honestly???? she was totally fine with being looked after considering she grew up v fast

it was nice being looked after and cared for,, she honestly loved it

LOVED,,, past tense,,

now at twenty four,, she’s regretting getting married so young and she can’t say she hates the man,, she rlly doesn’t,, but she’s getting sick of being so lonely because he’s constantly working and can’t make time for her -- on top of that, he’s talking about starting their own family and she’s still a little scared of it all.. she doesn’t want things repeating themselves and doesn’t want to turn into her own mother,,,,,,,,,, but she also doesn’t want kids yet lol

also loves her sisters with a passion !! she isn’t a mean person at all, she’s very reserved and responsible, but that’ll all go out the window if her sisters are in danger or upset over something

i’m gonna eventually write up some wanted connections but like here’s a few things on my mind right now:

an ex -- pLS,, someone who knows her pretty damn well and helped her open up in the first place so she could heal !! it could have been the shortest relationship ever, the most angsty heart wrenching ship ever,, the one who got away??? dude im game for anything

family of her husband -- they’ve been married for five years now, i imagine she’s pretty close with his fam

best friend -- give her someone to rant to about her relationship bc i cant see her doing it with her sisters bc she doesn’t want to worry them,,,,, even tho they most likely know just by her expression when she talks about him,, give me that platonic soulmate shit

party buddy -- ahin needs to relax, needs a little fun,,,, maybe too much fun??? give her a bad influence bc im not against her messing up and lowkey cheating on her mans for the drama SDJFHDSJA

#tsunamintro #tw parental loss #tw depression #( * | just tell me you’re proud of me ) ╱ * musings 💐 .#bio

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bi-lullaby · 5 years ago

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No one asked

And I should be studying, but here are some thoughts for season 16 so far:

(SPOILER WARNING, OBVIOUSLY)

1 - Merluca and it’s parts: COUPLES FIGHT STOP PREDICTING THE WORST OK. They’ve been completely adorable so far, but this is what someone said in a interview: “This is the after in happy ever after” (or something to that effect). They’re gonna fight and them they’re gonna make up, I hope. As for their fight: They were both in the right imo. Yes, Meredith is being inconsequent and it must be so frustrating for Deluca to A)Have her continue risking her career and license and freedom when he went to such lengths to help that, B) Be crapped on constantly bc of something your girlfriend did. Yes, Meredith is completely right in fighting the system that is so throughtly broken, and yes, coming to apologize to her mentor and longtime friend was completely the right thing to do. I wanna see merluca wedding and marriage! Maybe (since there are two pregnant people in this season already?) next season will be Mer and Jo? One can dream! For them individually: Poor Mer, she has bitten more than she can chew but she is ready to take on this fight! Imma love to see her as auntie mer! I mis merjolex so much tho, I know she’s been busy and all but they seem to forget she is a important part in their support system. Andrew has been all over the place. I love his confidence, but in the ep where he literally screamed at Bailey over her trying to teach an intern? And called her out bc she was using a different material than Mer? I was a bit off-thrown. But he’s still a great character I enjoy watching. Hope they find the balance between confidence and arrogance for him, and develop him even more!

2 - Amelink: AAAAAA. They’re so amazing and perfect and sweet and I wanna hug them both. Link is everything you could wish for, Amy is adorable as ever. If they lay a finger on either them as a couple, them as individuals, or their baby, imma kick some asses. I don’t think they will tho, Amy is been through SO MUCH already and she deserves a breath.

3 - Bailey: OMG SHE IS PREGNANT AAAAAAAA. I’m so happy! Ben is already a great dad, this will be so fun to watch! Hope they don’t put her through the ringer with a difficult pregnancy or a sick child, she does not deserve this! She already nearly lost her first child while giving birth in a bomb-y hospital while her husband had brain surgery NEXT to the bomb. Enough pregnancy drama for a lifetime. As for her actions: I’ve said before: I’m pissed, yes. She’s acting way too harsh and taking it out on people and more importantly (as I’ve touched on in my female grey’s characters ranking post) she’s out of character. Where is the Bailey that went around the hospital runnning after the attendings and kicking their asses into signing her proposal for a free clinic? And gave them a speech on how they had failed her and she needed something to believe in in medicine? She was one of the first characters to point out how broken the system was, to take direct action to try and fix it. Sure, she likes to try and work within the rules as much as possible, much she is not adverse to breaking a few of them if she thinks it’s necessary (hello deactivated HIV inside a young boy’s body without parental consent! Hello changing the date on a surgery which is also insurance fraud!)! If she thinks it’ll save a life! But also, she’s not completely wrong: Meredith did commit a crime, as good as her intentions were; As her boss, firing her was the only logical decision. She thought her hospital (which she dedicated a good half of her life to) was being attacked by someone she trained into the surgeon she is, ofc she’d be mad as all hell. Quadri was disrespectful, not doing her job well, actively getting in the way of her superior doing her job, screaming at her boss in the middle of the hallway about how she didn’t want to work there - firing her was a tad extreme (specially for a charact who has never, herself, had any qualms ahout mouthing off to her own superiors when she didn’t think something was right) but not completely out of nowhere. I hate hate hate how they’ll probs throw a “oh she was being crazy bc pregnancy hormones!” line after seeing how her actions have been badly perceived by people (like there isn’t enough a stereotype that women can’t have positions of power because hormones make them crazy) instead of “hey this character was put in extremely uncomfortable and tough positiona after extremely uncomfortable and tough positions and came off as harsher than necessary while trying to balance a world-class hospital crisis”. Ugh.

4 - Jackson: Ok so the last few eps have rekindled my love for him and I’m relieved! There’s the good, kind, funny and smart guy I like! I was mad bc of the whole Jaggie drama, but hey, shit happens! If they will be better apart, then I’m happy! (Ok 50% of this is because of what he said to levi! Stanning Meredith Grey + dorky Harry Potter reference? Yes!!!!). I hope this season will be kind on him, that he and Vicky work out well (from what I gathered about it, she has also been through a lot) and that we see more Harriet!

5 - Maggie: Baby girl. I love that they’re consistent that she has a jealous streak but is also a very good person who is always trying her best. Plus, official womb secret bearer is the best title omg! Maybe she should change from cardio to obgyn, lol! Plus, the sisters are everything to me! She instantaneous knew Amy was mad! She stood up for Mer! Aaaaa I love them!!!! Hope this show ends with all three of them happy and loved and badass as always!

6 - Others: Tom has been an.... Interesting piece. I love him, but his antics are almost caricature-esque now and it’s getting on my nerves. He was detestable in exploitating that family’s pain but also, the hospital did need a pr boost or it’d be in even hotter waters! The restraining order on Owen was a tad much bc it got in the way of patient care, but also he did get electrocuted in a very sensitive area by someone who had just gotten together with his ex - I’d be a little suspicious that it was 100% unintentional tbh. He’s power drunk and needs to be turned down a notch. Schmit and Nico and adorkable as always and I loved Nico’s speech about demanding more of himself - That’s one of the biggest traps of low self-steem and Imm glad it’s mentioned. I’ll miss Quadri. Helm being a MeredithGrey stan first and person second is still me lol. I loved how this last ep showed how much of a family they are - all the connections and shared pasts and references to relationships and what not. The “bird” storyline was so cute! Pac North seems so promissing and I’ll cry ugly tears when my baby Alex turns that ish around and shows everyone who’s boss!!!! The whole “the world is broken” theme of the season is my jam! Sadly, irl that handful of people are not gonna turn it around, but I want to see it happen on my screen! The medical system being fixed! As a future doctor (I promissed myself I’d not be the person who brings it up in every opportunity but lol here I am) it’d make me so happy! Against my better judgment, I’m liking Towen! They are trying, they’re really trying! Owen has done nothing wrong so far (besides offering to milk teddy which was just dumb, not malicious) and has been great at stepping down from his job so she could work! And him at Pac North will be great tbh - as much as I didlike him, he is an excellent doctor and strategist and he was a great chief at GS (until the last bit which was just gross negligence). From the promo for next ep: I don’t think they’ll make Webber cheat again. It’d be predictable and cheap and I’d be so mad that we’d have another round of acting like he’s a saint with a tiny issue of being a cheater. What I theorize is: He’ll have lunch with his friend, and either A) She’ll be friendly at the wrong time and Catherine will walk in and then think he’s cheating and it’ll be a mess, or B) Gemma is gonna try to get him back to drinking (Or maybe C) She was telling him to stop being bullheaded and fighting with his wife when life is so short). Cristina reference in the text omg, my heart!

Sorry for the long rant!

#grey’s anatomy #greys anatomy #spoiler alert

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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 158: Deku VS Overhaul ~Conclusion~

Previously on BNHA: Eri escaped Overhaul and leaped into Deku’s waiting arms. Before Overhaul could grab them, Deku instinctively activated 100% OFA in his legs and leaped to safety on the surface. Back in the Pit of Despair, Nighteye told the others he’d seen Deku’s death in a vision, and he believes they can’t do anything to stop it. Up on the street level, Deku marveled at how all of his wounds were suddenly healed up. But then he collapsed in pain feeling like his body was being “pulled apart from the inside.” Overhaul reappeared, having merged himself with a new minion, and explained that Eri’s quirk gives her the power to “rewind” humans, reverting them back to a previous state. Depending on how she uses it, she can even rewind them back to nothingness. He made it out to be some cursed thing, but Deku was all “8D” and realized he was carrying a full-HP-restored-and-all-status-ailments-cured healer who was currently using her quirk uncontrollably, unable to turn it off. So he literally fucking strapped her to his back with Mirio’s cape, and activated 100% One for All Full Cowl.

Today on BnHA: We say goodbye to volume 17 and usher in the new era of volume 18. Overhaul monologues a bunch about quirks and mutations and disease and blah blah blah. He says brats like Deku can’t appreciate Eri’s value and the power of her quirk. Meanwhile Togawice watch from a safe distance, and Ochako floats Nighteye up to get him some medical help. Overhaul has more flashbacks about how the Comatose Boss (back before he was comatose) told him to stop selling quirk drugs and not to stray from the right path. Of course, as we all know, he didn’t listen, wanting to restore the yakuza to their former glory by starting a drug war and supplying both sides. It’s arguably implied here that Overhaul may be the one who put the Comatose Boss in his coma, but Horikoshi is very vague about it. At any rate, back in the present day Overhaul continues to rant at Deku, but Deku has fucking All Might power now, and he just. Beats the everloving shit out of him. Like, it takes about four pages. Holy shit. And just like that, this battle is finally over.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 187 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

WE’RE DONE WITH THE PREVIOUS VOLUME OH MY GOD. WE’RE ON TO A NEW VOLUME. A NEW VOLUME WHICH WILL FINALLY INCLUDE A NEW FUCKING ARC AT LONG LAST. SOMEBODY HOLD ME

IF KACCHAN ISN’T ON THE CHARACTER PAGE, I WILL FUCKING FLY TO JAPAN AND FIND OUT WHERE HORIKOSHI IS KEEPING MY BOY HOSTAGE AND SAVE HIM MYSELF

HERE WE GOOOO

ooooohhhhh

(ETA: I recall reading in an interview somewhere that Horikoshi usually colors the volume covers in Photoshop, but for this one he felt like doing something different and so he colored it by hand and very much enjoyed it. it looks good!)

somehow I wasn’t picturing this weird mutant Overhaul creature to be red. somehow it makes him look even more like a Zelda boss

100% OFA Deku looks so cool! and his OFA lightning has turned yellow just like All Might’s oh gosh

“a bright future” OH GOD YES PLEASE

THIS TITLE PAGE IS GIVING ME ALL THE FEELS??

NIGHTEYE YOU REALLY ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE AREN’T YOU. FUCK

MIRIOOOOOO

FUCK THIS STUPID PAGE AND ITS “BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS BEFORE ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPENED” VIBE

(ETA: I HATE IT EVEN MORE NOW!! looking back on it now is giving me the headcanon that Mirio is actually sitting on the bench alone, sometime after this arc, and that’s actually Nighteye’s spirit sitting there, watching over him. I have no idea why my subconscious would choose to come up with a background story for this page that makes me want to cry even more.)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LEAPS OUT OF MY CHAIR AND POUNDS MY FIST ONTO MY DESK IN TRIUMPH]

(AND I REALLY DID YOU GUYS, AND THEN I THUMPED MY FIST ON MY DESK SEVERAL MORE TIMES FOR GOOD MEASURE!!!)

BAKUGOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

AND SHOUTO! AND INASA OH MY GOD, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. ARE WE FINALLY GOING TO SEE THEIR SPECIAL TRAINING??

(ETA: I love this volume)

AND SEIJI. MR. MEATBALL. SO YOU’RE STILL AROUND. YOU DIDN’T MAKE IT PAST THE FIRST ROUND, SO I’M VERY SURPRISED THEY APPARENTLY ALLOWED YOU TO TAKE THE SPECIAL TRAINING COURSE. BUT I GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT ALL ABOUT THAT

(ETA: Seiji sure has a lot of spare time on his hands huh)

WELL GUESS WHAT, OVERHAUL, THIS ONE PAGE HAS GIVEN ME THE POWER NEEDED TO DEFEAT YOU AND YOUR STUPID ARC ONCE AND FOR ALL. LET’S DO THIS. FOR KACCHAN AND SHOUTO. THE FORGOTTEN CHARACTERS

wow this opening panel is talking about the possible origin of quirks as a fucking virus spread by rats. like if the fucking bubonic plague gave you superpowers

oh no

I did not ask for an Overhaul flashback and I don’t care about him. go ahead and flesh him out if you must, but no amount of backstory can satisfactorily explain why he’s such a fucking creep

Tongue!Overhaul says that neither Deku nor Eri understand the value of Eri’s power

idk man, Deku’s already making some damn good use of it barely two seconds after discovering that it exists

so he’s explaining that her quirk can be used to rewind the mutation that brought quirks about

how come the version Tamaki got shot with only did this temporarily, though? does this mean the effect is eventually going to wear off on Deku and he’ll collapse with every last one of his bones shattered and probably die immediately omg

also would it then be possible to undo what happened to Mirio? or does the quirk not work on itself? goddammit

and in theory this could potentially even be used for creepy necromancy purposes. ohhhh man

(ETA: and also I’m telling you, the more I think about it, the more I’m becoming convinced that this is the quirk which will eventually bring All for One back to power. eventually someone is going to make the mistake of letting AFO come into contact with Overhaul over in Tartarus, and once that happens, things are going to go downhill fast.)

ironically, this actually seems like the most narrow-minded view of Eri’s quirk possible. most people would look at Eri’s quirk and immediately identify it as a healing quirk. the fact that he turned it into a destructive quirk tells you all you need to know about the kind of person he is right there

also, those buildings he’s casually smashing just so happen to have people in them omg

why would they not have evacuated by this point. there was a fight going on between a dragon and a giant villain for a full 20 minutes. for that matter, you’d think that local heroes would have eventually stepped in at some point. that’s plenty of time for backup to have arrived, and it should have been abundantly clear by that point that they needed it. so much about this doesn’t make any damn sense smh

(ETA: I think later on they confirm that there were only a handful of civilian injuries, though, and they were only light scratches and stuff. but all that means is that they got lucky goddammit.)

wowwwww Overhaul. wow

I’ll take “most ironic things villains have ever said” for $500, Alex

LOL

AND SO OVERHAUL WAS KICKED INTO SPACE, NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN. NOTHING OF VALUE LOST, ETC

Deku’s thinking to himself that Eri’s power is getting stronger and that she doesn’t know how to stop it. “just like the first time I used One for All”

he’s thinking that she basically has her foot stuck on the gas pedal

OH HEY YOU GUYS

is he “Deku” now? no more Izuku-kun or -chan or whatever?

as for Mr. Compress, he got squished by Ryuukyuu and melted

Ochako’s floating up to the surface with Nighteye in tow. and they were smart enough to avoid removing the spike in his stomach so he doesn’t instantly bleed out

does Nighteye even still have his left arm omg

now we’re flashing back again to the old boss chewing out Overhaul for getting into a fight with some dude and laying him out in critical condition

the boss thinks Overhaul is going behind his back and undertaking some secret venture in the drug business

he says he told Overhaul not to get involved with those drugs. I think that was the flashback we saw some chapters earlier

and he’s again telling him “you must not stray from my path”

why am I starting to get the feeling that the boss never actually got “sick” and that was Overhaul’s doing as well...?

oh my god is he talking to Kurono here

I feel like this is the only person who could plausibly be shipped with him. it doesn’t hurt that at this point he’s literally the last Precept standing

Overhaul’s determined to restore the family back to its former glory

oh here we go. finally the complete master plan

so first they flood the streets with some of the “incomplete products” they have on hand that can temporarily erase quirks

and once people have gotten a taste of that they’ll all be clamoring to purchase the completed product from them at sky-high prices

!!!!!!

SO YOU’RE TELLING ME MIRIO’S QUIRK CAN BE RESTORED OH MY GOD. THERE IS HOPE!

did they actually start to work on that particular serum yet?

anyways, because the boss isn’t A COMPLETE MONSTER, he’s immediately telling him no

you know, this is one of those instances where the time-honored mob tradition of doing away with a troublesome family member before they get even more troublesome would not have gone amiss. just sayin’. in hindsight he probably wishes he had

instead he just told him “if you’re going to disobey our way of thinking then you should just leave”

Overhaul says all he wants to do is repay the boss for taking him in

then why don’t you start by, I don’t know, FUCKING LISTENING TO HIM oh my god

but instead he went behind his back, continued torturing the innocent little girl, and proceeded with his plan

(ETA: okay, so! after much discussion, I have come to agree with the people saying that this scene...

...which I initially took to be Overhaul relenting, followed by the transition from the flashback back to the present, is in fact actually Overhaul making the decision to take his boss out of commission. the fade to black and the startled look on the boss’s face are intended to show that Something Bad is about to happen. and the next panel after that is just Overhaul thinking about how he owes a great debt to the boss, and that if they proceed with his plan, they can restore the family. “look forward to it, Pop.” so yeah, that does make sense.

what still annoys me though is that they don’t explicitly confirm it, even though it’s arguably the key moment in terms of Overhaul’s development into a villain. the series has no problem showing Eri’s torture in way more detail than anyone ever needed or asked for, and yet this key scene merely gets hinted at. it’s basically the thing all of these flashbacks are leading up to, and then they just... don’t show it.

there is one possible reason I can think of for this, which is that this scene is from Overhaul’s perspective, and because he wants to continue thinking of himself as the loyal son who’s doing this all for the sake of his father figure, it makes sense that he would censor his own recollection of the incident in order to further convince himself that it was all for the best. but while that explains the vagueness, there are still tons of other ways Horikoshi as the author could have confirmed it for us. for instance he could have showed it from Kurono’s perspective instead. or hell, just confirm it with a simple line of dialogue if you have to. but narratively, I think the decision to leave it inconclusive hurts the story by robbing us of the coolest, most dramatic and defining moment of Overhaul’s past.

so idk, I’m still not the biggest fan of this scene. for me, it comes tantalizingly close to being the kind of super dark twist I was hoping for, but then fails to stick the landing. so I’m hoping the anime can improve on this a little bit.)

so now we’re back in the present, and there are a few panels of Overhaul screaming that everyone else is missing the bigger picture, and he’s trying to destroy this world (the word “world” being in quotation marks, so I assume he means society, not the actual world), and that the “fake heroes” who are fixated on their tiny notions of justice need to stay out of his way

boy this is getting tiresome. it’s like someone combined Stain and Overhaul and created... Worse Overhaul

but he really doesn’t stand a chance against a 100% Deku, I think

well, we just had three huge pages of Deku beating the shit out of Overhaul. what do you guys think. climax? are we done at last?

oh my god you guys

;________; WE DID IT

(ETA: this is the quickest Final Battle a 40+ chapter arc has ever had. I’m not complaining, mind. good god am I not complaining)

so Deku punched Nighteye’s vision in the face?? apparently?

I mean, there didn’t even seem to be any point where he was even remotely in danger of dying. so either there’s something coming up, or Nighteye really screwed up on that one

either way it’s not like I mind? holy shit. we’re done? we’re really done?? ARE WE MOVING ON FROM THIS ARC

oh my god you guys. hey google play “We Are the Champions”

hang in there Kacchan and Shouto. we’re coming, lads

no bonus, this volume is pretty skimpy on the omake content honestly. but hey guys, tomorrow our favorite villain with too many hands makes his own long-awaited reappearance! google, when you’re done with this song, get ready to play some AC/DC next. we’re about to embark on the Highway to Hell, baby.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #overhaul (bnha)#midoriya izuku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #okay you guys #just letting you know right now my manga-reading progress is about to take another hit for the next few days #because I just got a subbed copy of bnha two heroes #so I'm gonna be watching that #and I'll be liveblogging it as well so it's gonna take a while #but oh my god I'm so excited

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polaroidofus-89 · 5 years ago

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‘Lover’ song-by-song breakdown [part 1]:

Long before @taylorswift joined Tumblr (and a billion thousand of Swifties with her), when this website was still unknown to most of mankind, I always made a post about my first thoughts on the album, writing down my opinion and rating each song at the end of release week. The first time I did this was with Speak Now and I created a chart to rate Lyrics, Chorus, Bridge and whether the song is a Skip or not. The only time I skipped this post was during the reputation era because of reasons I explained back then - if you want, I’ll send you the link to that post.

This time, however, I must make this a two-part post because a) I just came back from my holiday today, b) I always listen to it three times before writing this post (right now I am on number 2) and c) this album is freaking long!

So here’s the charts (chorus and bridge rated 1-5; lyrics rated 1-3):

Chorus: 1- meh, nice; 2- good; 3- very good; 4- just magic; 5- PERFECTION

Bridge: 1- good, did better; 2- good; 3- quite perfect; 4- RIP ME. DEAD.; 5- BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!! (was previously BRIDGE HEAVEN... guess why it changed? lol)

Lyrics: 1- good; 2- great; 3- AMAZING

Also, since I have been more active lately and some very cute and amazing blogs started following me, I want you all to take part in this breakdown because I would love to read your thoughts and your ratings on each song!

So please, please, please join me in this adventure. Six months from this date (when we will all know the songs by heart), I’ll bring it back to see if anything has changed.

Anyway, here’s the first part of my breakdown... hope you enjoy it!

1. I Forgot That You Existed

Chorus: very good Bridge: good, did better Lyrics: good Skip? No Favorite lyrics: none in particular

Alright, say what you want but I am a sucker for sarcastic and provocative songs from Taylor; they always are filled with such irony and smart remarks… I just can’t help adoring them and memorize them from the first listen, going around humming the rhythm all day long. It happened with Mean, WANEGBT, Blank Space, Shake It Off, IDSB and TIWWCHNT… so it was obviously going to happen with this one too. I also think it would’ve made one hell of promo single – just sayin’. I am in awe of Taylor’s attitude towards people that hurt or badmouth her after being in some kind of relationship with her: she does not comment at first, letting them rant and have their little moment of glory. Then, when everything seems over and forgotten, she strikes back and I enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. OF. IT. This one I had been waiting for a long time because a certain someone DEFINITELY deserved it. The way a person behaves towards somebody AFTER their relationship ends says a lot about them and this particular individual proved to be childish, petty, arrogant and very immature – not to mention awfully mean. You can’t act that way about someone you’ve been with for ONE ENTIRE YEAR, someone you were supposed to be in love with. I hate this post-breakup kind of behavior and I had hoped so freaking hard that reputation would’ve had a song like this. But we have it now and secret sessioners were right: it is the most amazing way to start an album. What I love most about this song is the entire second verse: got out some popcorns as soon as my rep started going down, down, down/laughed in the schoolyard as soon as I tripped and hit the ground, ground, ground/ and I would’ve stuck around for ya/ would’ve fought the whole town for ya/would’ve been right there front row, even if nobody came to your show. I just know that it will make feel the person who inspired this song ashamed and won’t allow them any kind of response because it isn't hate, it isn’t love… IT’S JUST INDIFFERENCE. And I’m so proud of her for this.

2. Cruel Summer***

10/10 Chorus: PERFECT Bridge: BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!!!! Lyrics: great Skip? HARD NO Favorite lyrics: “Devils roll their dice; Angels roll their eyes” “what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more” “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you”

Secret sessioners were onto something again: Out of The Woods stans would be suckers for Cruel Summer… I can confirm that is, indeed, true. This track feels like summer sunsets, road trips and a sequence of lovey-dovey moments straight out of a rom-com. I absolutely adored the lyrics on this one! I mean “what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more”, “no rules in breakable heaven”, “devils roll their dices, Angels roll their eyes”, “and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know” … what are we even talking about here? And don’t even get me started on the bridge: once again the Swift-Antonoff combination proved to be a winning choice. It’s Taylor Swift at her best and I have nothing more to add. This track is one of my favorites of the entire album and I am hoping it’ll be her next single.

3. Lover*****

10/10 Chorus: magic Bridge: RIP ME. I DIED. DEAD. Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite lyrics: “have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” “I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want them all” “My heart’s been borrowed, yours has been blue all’s well that ends well to end up with you”

When Lover first came out, I asked my boyfriend ‘do you think this will be my favorite off of the album?’ and he said ‘no’. He was not wrong at all: Lover and Cornelia Street are battling in my head and in my heart for ‘favorite song’ on the album - I swear it has never been so difficult for me to decide! This track is just pure magic; every time I listen to it, I have a picture in my head of slow dancing during my wedding day and it always (always!) makes me emotional enough to shed a few tears. Honestly, it just gives me poetry vibes – it is that beautiful to me. I absolutely adore this one. This track is also one of my favorite songs – if not my favorite at all.

4. The Man***

10/10 Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: very good Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man”

When I read the interview in which Taylor played this song and explained it to the journalist, my excitement multiplied infinite times. Whoever said Taylor Swift is not a feminist should now go and sit in the corner, thinking about how idiotic such a statement is. This track perfectly summarized what a woman pursuing her goals in life has to go through daily and how hard it is when the world thinks you were born with the wrong attribute in the lower part of your body. It is very provocative and sarcastic, a real national anthem for women. I’m so very proud of her for writing this song, you have no idea. Of course, it has quickly earned a spot on my ‘top favorites’.

5. The Archer***

10/10 Chorus: good (pre-chorus is what I really love) Bridge: BRIDGE CITY ALERT!!! Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: “All the king’s horses, all the king’s men couldn’t put me together again” “awake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible ghosts”

Ah, the power of number 5! This song is life! The thing I love the most about this track is the way it speaks so much on an emotional level, using very little actual words. With track 5 we always got a very descriptive song: she wanted to tell us about an extremely delicate, heartbreaking moment in her life and walked us through the entire story with the lyrics. The Archer doesn’t give us a story, doesn’t talk to us about a distressing moment in her life… it tells us about a feeling – more than that, it gives us that feeling. The anxiety you have when you suffered one too many bad knockouts in life and you are always ready for something bad to happen, always ready for someone to betray you or leave you alone again. It’s a paralyzing fear, almost like you can’t breathe and the fact that Taylor was capable of putting it all into words… I just love her so much, you guys! Though not my favorite Track 5, it does get both a spot on my top three Track 5 (All Too Well and White Horse are number 1 and 2) and on my ‘top favorites’ for this album.

6. I Think He Knows

Chorus: meh Bridge: good, did better Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? Sadly, yes.

Ugh, this is a moment I hate very much. This is one of the only two songs I didn’t particularly like on this album. It breaks my heart to say this because I love both the lyrics (which I think are some of the best on the entire record) and the concept behind this song. But the rhythm just doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t speak to me like all the other songs do… something is just off. That being said, it is still a very good song. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t mind at all if it didn’t make it on the Lover Tour setlist. I know a lot of you love this song and I tried very hard to change my mind about it, but I just know it will be a skip for me.

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

Chorus: very good

Bridge: magic

Lyrics: great

Skip? No

Favorite Lyrics:

“I’ll never let you (go), ‘cause I know this is a (fight), that someday we’re gonna (win)”

This one is absolutely incredible - also, my boyfriend’s favorite. It’s You belong with me older, more mature and melancholic sister. The bridge is what really made me fall in love with this track: one of the best she has ever written.

8. Paper Rings

Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: quite perfect Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? Definitely no Favorite Lyrics: “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”

OMG THIS SONG! This song is so so so cute! I love it! It’s fun and catchy and makes you want to dance so hard! I’m really looking forward to seeing this song performed live. And don’t even get me started on the chorus: I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings… are you kidding me? Tell me this is not the most amazing declaration of love you have ever heard! Once again, I agree with secret sessioners: it does give Stay, Stay, Stay vibes and I’m totally here for it. These are the kind of songs that I missed the most during rep era and I’m so happy that we got Paper Rings, you have no idea!

9. Cornelia Street*****

10/10 Chorus: PERFECTION Bridge: quite perfect Lyrics: AMAZING Skip? NEVER IN ANY LIFETIME Favorite Lyrics: (too many to count) “I rent a place on Cornelia Street I say casually in the bar” “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend” “as if the streetlights pointed in an arrowhead leading us home”

When the tracklist came out and we found out about the Cornelia flowers Easter eggs I just knew that this song was going to hit very hard in the feelings: it was the only Easter egg she has repeated plenty of times, ever since Me! Came out. When we found out that she had written this one by herself, my expectation flew to the moon and back. It did not disappoint in any way: I LOVE THIS SONG! It’s so soft and romantic, my heart can’t take it! I also very much liked the production on this one. Seriously, one of Taylor’s best song for me. The reason I can’t decide which one between this and Lover is my ultimate favorite is that whenever I am finally convinced about one being it, I listen to the other and I’m stuck again. I don’t know if that was clear enough for everyone to understand but… yeah, I’ll let you know if I ever make up my mind.

#taylor swift #taylornation #Lover era #lover #westandbytaylor

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