#something that will not cause any actual harm because we dont do that here sir na-ah not anymore

[widevibratobitch]

i need to dye my hair i need to cut my hair i need to bleach my eyebrows again i need to shave them off completely i need to DO something i need CHANGE or ill go insane

[tender-rosiey]

Hi there, just wondering if I could put in a request for Ranpo, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Atsushi and Kunikida working with (and maybe even falling for???) someone who is super energetic and boisterous (reminiscent of bb nishinoya)?

I hope this makes sense 🥺 have a good day/night

❥ Bsd Characters working and falling for an energetic reader

Includes: Ranpo,Kunikida, Chuuya, Atsushi and Akutagawa

ᴀ/ɴ: I hope you like this 🥺❤️ I hope you have a wonderful day/night as well dear! This will be fun since I am a Nishinoya kinnie 👀

Ranpo Edogawa:

This adorable bby

“CAN I GET PAIRED UP WITH Y/N?!”

Chaotic duo

You guys are literally the sunshine’s of the Agency

He loves hanging out with you

You are the only person he shares his snacks with

Ranpo, yosano and you are a wonderful trio

Your missions together are always enjoyable and fun

Makes you laugh because he loves the sound of your laugh but you didn’t hear that from me

So yeah he would love working with you

It always brightens up his day

He literally subconsciously smiles when you enter

You guys like to buy candy and stroll the around the city together

Now falling for you

It will be a very fun rollercoaster for our dear detective

You can sometimes be unexpected even to him

Despite being an open book and being the most energetic and sunshine bby in the agency

Sometimes he gets surprised with stuff you do

If you hug him out of excitement then he will be normal in front of you and hug you

With a cute “YAY Y/N-CHAN HUGS!”

But after you turn your cute face away he wil be a blushing mess

And alone

He will be reconsidering his life choices and thank the heavens about blessing him with you

Let’s talk about when someone makes you sad

He will guilt trip them and ruin their self-esteem

“Are you stupid enough to make Y/N sad?”

He will give you his candy so your cute smile can be present again

Kunikida Doppo:

opposites attract check ✨

Yes queen

However he finds you somewhat more tolerable than another bandage wasting machine

He does keep your hyper state at bay though

“Y/N calm down.”

“YES SIR”

Smile at him though and he will let you do anything you want

Except blowing up the city 🤡

Enjoys your company when you are calm

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t when you are energetic

He enjoys it nonetheless but likes calm conversations between you two

Likes to softly smack you on the head with his book of ideals

SOFTLY AND LIGHTLY THO

He doesn’t like people who hit innocent ladies

Smiles at you when he sees you happy

Behind your back tho

A fond soft smile

Soft kunikida yay <3

He is like your legal guardian

“Y/N GET OFF THE ROOF!”

“COME AND GET ME hehe~”

Speaking of “hehe” or giggling

He loves it

And when he falls for you, your personality would be a major reason

“She doesn’t meet 13 of my ideals...HOW DID I FALL FOR HER”

Cue you laughing and greeting him

“Oh yeah that’s why”

You balance out the serious or stern attitude of his with the bubbly and energetic attitude of yours

Ruffles your hair when he is proud

Is kunikda the type to wink?

Absolutely not

Unless ;)

Sometimes you prank our dear blonde here so yes he gets a little mischievous with you

You are buried in a lot of work?

Kunikida will pass by and wink at you

Yes that fine man is what got you the work

And that’s the only time you will find him winking at your perfect figure (yes you are perfect and if you dare oppose then I will hug you to death)

Kunikida winking pls 🤭

He will scold anyone who dares and make you sad

“WE HAVE A RULE THAT LITERALLY SAYS NEVER MAKE Y/N SAD”

They don’t but he hates seeing you down

Chuuya Nakahara:

You are his child that he will beat anyone that will touch or make sad

He sees you as this precious day of sunshine in the port mafia

That literally makes everyone smile

So

He protects you with his laifu cause you are a potential waifu

But we will talk about that later on

SO

He enjoys working with you

You make the mission much lighter to deal with

But

If he is annoyed and can’t handle any noise around him

Then he will calmly ask you to calm down and tell you that he had a rough day before

He loves how you are understanding and nod smiling

Pets your head

“AYE AYE DONT MAKE Y/N SAD OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP”

Kouyou taught elegance for nothing 😔

He starts falling for your cute self

At a point chuuya will view your smile as a blessing

Specially if he is the one who causes it

Loves your personality and how you never fail to cheer him up

Soft smiles whenever you aren’t looking cause my man has a reputation to keep

He adores your hugs btw

“Thanks sunshine”

Yes that is his nickname for you even before getting together

You know how sometimes people run their knuckles onto someone’s head when mad?

He does that when you do something stupid

But he does it gently

When you are sad

Then all hell is let loose

At everyone but you 🥰

And Mori cause Chuuya isn’t fucked up in the mind so he can mess with that guy

Will let you hug him out

Tries and make you smile by telling you funny stories about dazai and how stupid he is

“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine.”

A line he had wrote in his diary while describing you

Yes I believe he has a diary but it will die with him

Atsushi Nakajima:

He adores you

Like another bby that will protect you

You are like Kenji but more energetic

He can never say no to you

Gets beyond flustered when you hug him

Likes seeing you hyper

Watches over you in case shit goes down

He enjoys missions with you

They are so much fun :0

You guys even go around Yokohama and get whatever you want after you are done

These cutesy smiles whenever you are super excited over something

Will get you anything and everything

Will apologize on your behalf if someone gets harmed by whatever you did

Per example

You broke a vase in the blinds of being so excited for the mission

Atsu will put you behind him and apologize

The owner of the bar of course will forgive you cause

A cute innocent boy and a ball of sunshine standing in front of him

He can’t be a cruel little shit to you so he lets you go without anything

Probably gives you something as a souvenir 🤡

He will do anything so you don’t ever feel down

However if you do then he will be by your side trying to making you laugh

Comfort you

You name it

He treasures your smile dearly even before loving you romantically

But as bby fell for you

He payed attention to little things you do even more

If he isn’t working on something on the agency then he is staring at you with a smile and releases a dreamy sigh

He could be going through a shit of a day and he will be at his best when he sees you

You know how he got flustered over hugging him?

Yeah now he becomes a tomato and lays on the floor fanboying

Simp

Whenever you greet him then he will blush, rub the back of his neck and waves shyly

His crush on you is so obvious though

Y/N RELEASE THE BOY FROM THE HELL OF BEING OBLIVIOUS TO YOUR FEELINGS AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke:

It’s heaven and hell for him hen he works with you

You are a great duo

But that’s not the actual heaven part

So what’s good about it is that he finds your presence sort of comforting

But GOODNESS IF YOU ARENT SO NOISY

He can’t handle it

Literally like tsukki to yams

“HEY AKUTAGAWA”

“Y/N shut up”

“No :D”

Little glares when you are too loud

He doesn’t really care about anyone around him

But

It slightly bothers him when you are down

He is so used to your bubbly and energetic attitude so to see something opposite to that is

Annoying in a sense or another

Flicks your forehead

“Cheer up idiot, it’s weird when you are sad”

How considerate wow

And falling for you would be something that surprised him

Aside from Higuchi trying to kill you

Aku started to savor your energetic attitude or aura

Slowly liked it

He even smiles a really really smol smile when you are looking at something

And like YOU ARE REALLYYYYY EXCITED

Pats you on the shoulder when proud

Yes he is copying “DAZAiIIIiiiiIi-sAaAaAAaaN”

Also now he can’t say no to you

“AKUTAGAWA I WANT CHOCOLATE”

“No”

Keep jumping around while smiling and saying please

And akutagawa will go “tch”

And let you get whatever you want

Oh yeah now that he likes you

Anyone that makes you sad loses an arm 😽

Overprotective

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[multyfandoms-imagines]

do you still write for Dark Deception? If you do, can you give us some headcanons about the Reaper Nurses,

Yup, i do. Altho, we dont have ch4 out yet by the time im doing it, so if something major will be in that chapter about them and you dont see it here, well, i cant see into the future :V

Nightmare-ish Doctors (Reaper Nurses headcanons)

•one of the few nightmare monsters that are allowed to join other nightmares. Mostly because they are, well, nurses, their job is to help any monster that is hurt

•most of the time, their patiences are: Agatha, Dread Duckies, Doom Ducky and both Golaith, normal Clown Gremlins. All for diffrent reasons, but Nurses help their fellow nightmare-buddies regardless of their injury

•IF you happen to recieve any trauma while not actually trying to collect shards and Malak/Bierce are busy, Nurses will have to heal you for abit

•they do it because "the boss says its not fair nor fun to hunt down a mortal that can barely move around". But also secretly cus they are one excited nurses so they are happy to take care of any injury but SHHH

•mostly skate around their hospital, but if Nurses are needed to be anywhere, where skating will only break their own bones, our girls(?) have other shoes to wear. A real doctor must be prepared for everything, you know

•but if something, somewhere will happen and they get themselves injury, fellow Nurses deal with it quicker. However, they are more expirienced nightmare monsters, compared to Agatha or Watchers. You really must just hit them with all your might with an axe to cause any harm at all

•they are not some cute nurses that are only here to heal, they can use any. And i mean it. ANY. Medical (or not, but they prefer medical) stuff and use it just as well to take away your life

•who cares about that Hippocrate oath or something? Lol. Its a nightmare, do whatever you wanna do

•all Reaper Nurses are the one to remind literally anyone (including you and Bierce) to keep yourself healthy (for you to run around ofcourse~) and do basic stuff such as not slacking off or watch your feet

•they do it to everyone. Including Malak. You cant stop them. Literally impossible. Its Nurses' duty. Deal with it

•should you somehow get any sickness and Nurses will just 180 and run(roll?) to you even if they were far away in 10 nightmares from you with "sir/miss, you need to get in your bed and wait for the doctor"

•dont resist cus they wont hesitate to use either force or drug you

•but its just their job to make sure mortal is gonna have any chances to survive. Nurses may not be easy to deal with, but they still (like Malak) consider killing an incapable human just below their moral

[trashmancan47]

Angst. Harsh Angst

Hey so this is kind of random but like-

Here

There is this RP I am doing with someone (Whom is amazing!), and it is Harry Potter, Soulmates (First words on wrist), and Sander Sides all in a bundle. It's super interesting, and full of angst, and fluff, I love it! It has Intrulogical, Prinxiety, and Moxceit in it, but still adorable as all get out! Anyway that's not the point- point is that this originates from my version of Remus, and their version of Roman, along with our version of their *Parents*. So yeah- 

So Remus, and Roman Prince are twin brothers that are 3 minutes apart, and unexpected. Now when I say unexpected, I mean Remus. Their parents (dont have names yet) never knew they were going to have two babies, the doctor hadn't been able to see the other. Their Mother was delighted, and loves both brothers, equally, she loves her babies, of course she does! She loves kids, and had wanted kids, key word being *kids*. The father only wanted one, and so when there was two he had only ever paid attention to the oldest, being Roman. As they got older Remus would be treated unfairly by their father, even though Remus would try his best, always tried to be better, to be as good as Roman. Their father would ignore him when he spoke, blame things on him, take advantage of him (not sexually), and basically used him as a verbal punching bag, treated him like he was nothing, and made sure he knew that. Roman could get anything he wanted, at any time that he wanted. Their mother was aware of this, and always was there for Remus, along with Roman. Believe it or not, Roman didn't fall into their father words -despite still having a huge ego- he was always there for Remus, and they were close. This was mainly because of their mother, she always made sure the two knew that there was nothing more important then sticking together, and being there for one another, and that to get through these types of things, is with one another. Remus doesn't know, or understand why his mother was still with their father. He always just assumed it was because his mother loved their father, and he saw that, and he loved her too, so he never complained, or brought it up. He wanted his mom to be happy, she deserved it, and she always did her best to make sure Remus was okay. Of course he said he was, and put on a smile that she saw through (Remus doesn't know that she actually see's how hurt he is) So she has always asked Roman to be there for Remus, and check on him for her. So Roman does, If you want a list of the things Remus hears, be warned it's not good, or gentle by any means. He hears the assortments of things from his father; 

" Worthless, unlovable, useless, pathetic. You'll never be anything, you're an extra! Unwanted, you're brother is twice the man you will ever be. In fact you're not even a man, not even close! You always cry, and share your emotions like a little baby!" 

"Pest, bother, extra, that's all you are, and ever be! You'll never get anywhere in life, why can't you be more like your brother, or even better not exist. I'm ashamed to even have you as a son, everything you do disgraces this family. There's no point in thinking about your soulmate, they'll hate you, no one could love a fuck up like you. You weren't even supposed to be here you know, we would have been better off."

Not only did he do this, when he would take advantage of Remus, he would fake it, and butter him, or use his mother against him. (This neither Roman, or his Mother know of. They know about buttering him up, but not using their mom about it.) He would have Remus do his bidding for him. Work for him, while he would still ignore him, and his physical needs, saying it would 'Make him stronger'. Examples ahead, not soft or wholesome by any means. 

"You want to make your mom proud? You want her to love you still, right? *Remus will nod, not allowed to speak to his father unless spoken to in times like this* (Never really talks to him anyway, he gets ignored, unless it's a family reunion) "Good then do as your told, and go do *Names any task or thing*"

"You know I care about you, you know I don't mean these words, I do love you. There /is/ some potential in you. So come on, maybe we can play a game, or spend some time once you're done. But you should do this first." 

Remus has dealt with this all his life, and he didn't always have Roman, maybe the hardest time in Remus's life. It was when they were far too young to understand pretty much anything, and their mother was still figuring out how to deal with the whole situation. Remus didn't let his brother help, (If Roman wanted to or not I am not aware for the lovely person who plays his role has not clarified, it hasn't been brought up yet. I will ask them when it comes up, and most likely make a new blog on it.) Remus shun his brother out, thinking that Roman wouldn't or couldn't care, because of what his father said. This phase only lasted Remus maybe a year or two. 

At some points before Hogwarts, or when he was at home he had trouble, that he didn't tell his mother, or his brother. This trouble would be caused by his father. There were long periods of time where Remus didn't sleep, or only slept for an hour if he was lucky, he wouldn't eat, only enough to keep himself alive, and thinking. He drank plenty of water, but only to make him seem okay, he would fake the smiles, and the laughs, and the energy. But he did this because he felt that he had to, or deserved it, sometimes it was simply out of habit, sometimes he did it because his father would work him without caring for his needs, and Remus would just go with it. He never told his mother, and brother this, even though over time his brother found out about his sleep schedule being messed up, he didn't find out about anything else. Remus had started to wear makeup, to hide his tired eyes, and his weariness, the makeup changed a lot, but finally settled on the pinkish colors (Exactly what he has on in DWIT). He wore it for that reason, but soon grew to like it, so he kept it like that for a while, even as he went to school he kept wearing it for a while. He took a couple years of having it off, not really a known reason why he did, he just did, he didn't have a need to wear it anyway, because since he got with Logan, he felt the need to protect him, and be there for him. He needed to be at his best, so his habits were fought off as best he could. (He does start again in the RP though, but it's not too thought on right now) 

Well that is most of it I believe, I'm not too sure, mainly because I fell asleep writing the last half of this. Whoops! But if you do have any questions please ask! I will try to answer then to the best of my ability, and anything that is missing here, I will add, or make a new blog. Again you can ask questions- but now I'm going to write something, a memory of Remus's when he was at home with his father. 

One more thing, really quick, The twin's mother isn't always present. She goes on trips for her work, and sometimes doesn't return home for quite a while, so that leaves Roman, and Remus alone with their father, and Roman hadn't normally gone anywhere without his brother when she wasn't absent. I had posted this before, but took it down. Here it is again. 

~WARNING~

(Swearing, self-deprecation, degrading, resistance to self-care, fake emotions. I guess you could say self harm, but he doesn't actually harm himself, just his health. Mention of Abuse. Abuse. Use of regular pain medication. Crying.)

*Memory begins*

I was sitting sideways on the old, but yet soft light brown recliner that has been sitting in the same corner of the living room as long as we've lived here. It was still holding together well especially for how much I use it, and jump on the chair. I had my feet hanging off of the arm of the chair, and my head resting on the other arm of the chair, my hands folded on my chest that was slowly, and evenly rising, and deflating. I was looking up at the ceiling watching the shadow of the ceiling fan as it spun, an occasional sigh leaving me. I wasn't thinking, nor was I spacing out. I was simply just existing, taking the time I had to enjoy the silence, and the peace of my mother, and brother being away, and my father in his office typing away on his documents for his job. I guess it wasn't complete silence due to the ceiling fan would make a small squeak ever so often from being so old, and worn down, it has yet to be fixed. I started to bounce my foot, and closed my eyes listening to all the sounds around me, and soon enough I could hear the clicking of the keys on the keyboard as my father typed, only ever stopping occasionally to take a sip of his tea. It had a rhythm to it, so when the clicking stopped my breath became uneven, my stomach dropped, and yet felt like it tightened at the same time as I heard a sort of shuffling. 

"Worthless Brat! Turn off that fan now!" I heard my father's voice boom through the house. He was always so much more verbal when mom was gone, I jumped up, and nodded, my voice coming out in a bit of a squeak.

"Yes sir!" I heard a mumble, and the clicking fan off, and returned as I sighed my heart beating fast, my palms sweating, yes he did scare me that much. He had never hit me, well he had, but it only had been three times, and of course when my brother, and our mother weren't there. I couldn't say a thing for if I did my father had threatened that I would never see either of them again. That I wouldn't be a part of the equation anymore, so neither my brother nor mother knew. I rather have it that way as well, plus I deserved those hits I got. That's what got me so scared was I thought he was going to hit me again, we hadn't been alone like this in such a long time maybe a year or so. Mom doesn't like me being here alone with him. She doesn't fear him hitting me, she doesn't believe he would do that, she believes deep down that he loves me. I know that's not true. I hadn't realized it, but my father had called for me again, and I was still standing in the middle of the living room floor. His yelling for me indicated I hadn't 'listened' the first time.

"Brat! I said come here, NOW!" I hurried to his office, He had looked like a million dollars, as usual. He was wearing a gray, and white suit as usual, except his tie was loose, and his coat on the back of his chair. His blonde hair had been slicked back with what looked liked a whole jar of gel, his brown eyes, a dark brown that made his pupils look a part of his whole eye. His face was sharp, if that made sense, he looked young despite his actual age of 36, and he looked very stern, yet bright. He was a rather slim guy as well, but definitely strong, and well built, intimidating as well. 

He only glanced at me, starting to speak before stopping, and looking back to me.

"Go, and fetch me- What are you wearing?" I glanced down, and I felt myself shake a little. I was wearing regular black socks, and my usual blue ripped skinny jeans, along with.. oh thats why.. I was wearing the white, red, and goldish colored sweater that Roman had let me wear whenever I needed him, and he wasn't home. It happened a lot more often than you would think. Although I wasn't supposed to let father see me wear it, he doesn't think I'm good enough to even be near Roman, he doesn't want my filth on him. I fumbled with my own hands, and looked down stumbling a little as he began to talk- or more yell.

"I asked you a question. Now answer it." He growled, his hands on a fist on the desk "And look up when I speak to you rat." I looked up to him and was sure to speak as clear as I could. 

"Sorry sir. It's Roman's sweater, he let me borrow it and-" He cut me off, by standing and walking to me, he grabbed my arm a little harshly, and went close to my face, making me turn my head, and whimper a little. I didn't dare close my eyes or look away, my gaze still on him, but his head turned. He snarled as he spoke, his voice low.

"Why would Roman want to let /you/ wear anything of his? Your filth, nothing, but scum." His words came out like venom as he kept my arm, and I nodded. Though I didn't say anything I had learned that he wasn't done.

"Your not worth wearing something of his, now take it off, and put it to be washed. I'd  make you wash it, but I wouldn't want any of your disgusting worthlessness to get on him. You're nothing compared to him, remember that next time you even think of getting close to his stuff." I nodded. 

"Yes sir." I said quickly, and as I did he let go of my arm, but pushed me down in doing so, so that I was on the floor. He stood, fixing his tie, and smoothing his hair with his hand, starting to walk back to his desk he cleared his throat.

"Good, after you do that go, and get me more tea. Along with some tylenol, pest." He spit the name out with a glare, and I waited until he sat, and gave a nod to me before I got up, and left the room. I had only let fear, and an emotionless expression cross my face, anything else was unexpected, I most certainly wasn't allowed to cry in front of him. That made me weak, and gave him more dirt to throw on me. I took off the sweater, leaving me in my green long sleeved shirt. I turned the sweater right-side out, and put it in the laundry basket of Romans, and fathers clothes. Yes they were separated, I did my own laundry, and my mothers, father suggested to mother to let Roman wash it, but she insisted. He didn't want my filth on their clothes I supposed. I went to the kitchen to get him more tea, grabbing the container in the fridge, and the medicine from the cabinet above the stove.

It only took me a moment, as I turned around to walk out the door way, and into the hall. I glanced at the clock, the time was only 2 o'clock in the afternoon. 

"Three more hours" I mumbled out, carrying both items, the container containing still hot tea. I looked to my fathers door, and knocked lightly, him mumbling to come in. For a moment he looked to approve of the fact that I had changed, but as soon as the approval came, it went as well. I didn't let out a sigh, just stayed with an emotionless face as he signaled me to pour him more tea. I placed the medication on the area next to his cup, then poured the tea, careful because it was really hot, it could leave some bad 2nd degree burns. His face filled with disgust as I was close to him it seemed. His throat was cleared as he spoke again. 

"Stay here brat" I nodded, and replied with a quick "Yes Sir." I had to call him that unless Mother was near, and even then he ignored me, or pushed me aside. I watched as he took a sip, having put his ice from the previous cup in it, and gave it a moment. Fear washed over me as he pulled away, and spit the liquid back into his cup, with a 'Bleh!' He turned to me, seeming angry. I started to shake a little.

"YOU BRAT! You gave me the wrong tea, this is sweetened! WHY can't you do one thing right in your pathetic life!?" I knew I wasn't supposed to answer the question, and was about to get pain, whether physical or emotional I wasn't sure, he seemed to grin devilishly at my fear. 

"Hold out your hands, you useless child." He said plainly the bitterness on his tongue as plain as day. I held out his hand, and watched as father -if you could even call him that at this point- grabbed the container still holding the basically boiling tea, and poured it on my hands. I bit my tongue at first, but then screaming as the tea scolded my hands, but I didn't dare pull back, I just closed my eyes, and he growled, and grabbed my arm again once he put the now empty container on the floor.

"Look at me!" I did as told looking at him, my eyes full of tears, I was trembling, and biting my tongue. He pushed me back onto the ground again. 

"You fuck up- Go get me the right tea, clean this mess up, and then attend to your hands.  Don't tell anyone about this. Or you know what will happen-'' I nodded as I waited until he allowed me to stand, leaving with the container, and glass. My hands stung really bad, and I could already see the blisters form as I let tears fall once I got to the hall. I made it to the kitchen, still trembling, and careful not to break anything in fear of him doing worse. He wasn't my father, he was a monster! I turned on the cold water, it stinging more at the contact, but it also seemed to sooth it, or maybe that was just me feeling numb to the pain. My Fat- The monsters words didn't normally get to me right away, for I never thought of them, but once I did, it never was good. I knew I was unwanted, useless, an extra, but I was here. And stuck. I cleaned the container and got the unsweetened kind, pouring it in his cup, with some new ice cubes. I grabbed a towel, and some water with cleaner to clean the floor, every touch making more tears fall. I wiped them away, and held them back as I headed back to the office door. 

"Don't say or touch anything, just come in here, clean the mess, and leave. Do NOT bother me again you scum." I entered the room, "Oh, and don't look at me" I kept my eyes to the floor, getting to the mess on the carpet, and cleaning the tea up, after placing the new cup on the table. Once I cleaned up the mess I covered it with a towel so that he wouldn't step on anything wet, and I awaited him to tell me to leave, me holding my hands on my legs them throbbing, and in so much pain, it hurt so much worse than anything he'd ever had to go through before. Physically. 

"You may now leave, take care of your disgusting hands." he had said after ten minutes, I got up, head still to the floor as I left, closing the door. I left the bathroom to fix my hand up, applying burn ointment, and making sure to wrap them. I never let my mother or brother see my hands, for if they did I would have to explain, and go to the hospital for how bad they had gotten. I had left to my room, and sat down, staring at a picture of me, and Roman making a silly face the one time we went to a theme park, Mother had snuck this photo to me, and I treasured it. I cried in my room for a whole hour, cleaning myself up so Mother, and Roman wouldn't ask questions, and went about my normal day. That monster that I have to call my Father had ignored me for three entire days, not asking a thing of me. Not even speaking to me, those were the best times to be honest, free for just a while. Just until he went back to school. 

*Memory ends*

I was staring at my hands as the memory ran across my head while alone in the library of Hogwarts. It had been three years since that incident, and Father has hurt me since then, but wasn't that bad, only a bruise or two. I still had a couple of scars from the unproperly taken care of blisters, and overall burn, but I always blamed it on the many other stupid stunts that had gotten me hurt, just by my own stupidity. Like jumping out of the second story window, because I thought it would be fun. Yeah I'm not the brightest. I had some tears clouding my eyes, but I made then disappear as I heard an Angelic voice speak. Logan. My lover. We had found each other the same year my hand got scared, but I didn't think about that. I had my free period, which half Logan had a class, but the other half he had a free period as well. He joined me, and I'm glad he did, he always distracted me from these thoughts, these nightmares, just hearing his angelic voice, and his perfect persona. I love him. I really do. 

We are having our own troubles, but nothing I don't think can't be solved. He is my Flower, my precious flower. Even if he wasn't my soulmate, I would still only want him. I smiled softly as he sat next to me, asking if I was alright. 

"I am now." He was confused by the statement, but hadn't pushed it, just nodded as we fell into conversation. My hands, and the scars left on me were forgotten about, and I never spoke of any of this to Logan. He knew my Father treated me unfairly, but that was it. I don't want to burden him with it, he deserves better, and I won't put more on him, he already deals with me, and as Father says, I am a big baby. I'll never be Roman, or as good as him, but as long as I have Logan I'll be fine. All I need is him, my brother, and Mother, Logan's best friend, and my brother's soulmate Virgil as well. He has helped my precious Flower through so much, and I thank him everyday. I love them all really... I just hope that this fairy tale ends happy, and that I can enjoy my break with Logan, and one day live with him happily. Together, Undisturbed. It's far too good to be true, I know, but you have to dream, hope for something better. 

*End of this angsty boi party!!!*

//- I just thought that the RP was interesting, and I wanted to share more back story on Remus' life. I also control Virgil in this RP, so maybe I'll do a page on him, although his is a lot more wholesome, and less depressing. I count that as a blessing. If you have any questions feel free to ask, or if you have any suggestions please do leave them! -//

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 9

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Alone Again”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 7,782

Warnings: ???

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: This was one of the more difficult chapters to make it through, since I wanted to follow the timeline of events in IM3 (one of my favorite movies in the MCU), but I also wanted to tie in Eva. I hope Tony lives up to your expectations. I try to pull pieces from the MCU version, comic book version, and my own personal ideas. Once again, you’re all so amazing for even reading this in the first place. I love all of you so, so, so much <3 -Ellie

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

When I landed, a chill overcame me as soon as the bridge disappeared from around me. I gazed around at the ground that surrounded the ring the Bifrost left and noticed that it was all snow. I pulled the hood of my white robe over my head and pulled the robes around my body, feeling warmer instantly. As I gazed up into the crystal clear night sky, I saw the stars twinkling and shimmering. Midgard had some of the most beautiful views of the sky, but it was nothing close to the view from the edge of Asgard. Still, whenever Loki and I were on Midgard, we would find a way to lay in the grass and gaze up at the stars for a while. Suddenly, I noticed him. At first, he looked more like a falling star than the armored man. Seeing his trajectory, I knew that he was bound to fly right into the forest next to me.

I ran over to the trees and rested my hand against them. As I closed my eyes, I connected with the essence of life within the planet itself. She was beautiful, strong, and loving without expecting any love in return. The Midgardians often treated her poorly, but she continued to provide for them as best she could. I focused on the pulsing energy beneath the tips of my fingers as the sound of the suit rocketing toward the Earth faded away. The sound wasn’t replaced by another, but instead, it was replaced by the beautiful silence of the world. In the silence, my soul became eternally bound to hers. It was an experience that I had on my own, as no other Asgardian I confided in had ever felt that way before. However, it made my bonds with the life energies of every world that much more powerful. When our souls bound together, she finally heard my heart, and I could feel the tree beneath my hand shift. I felt them all shift.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that the trees had separated just enough to accommodate Tony’s fall, and as he zoomed past me and through the forest, I thanked her for her act of generosity. I began running after him, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to catch him, not before he stopped himself. He bounced off the ground a few more times, which slowed him down. Nearly as soon as he made it out of the forest, I had caught up to him enough to grab hold of his suit in an attempt to stop him. The metal slipped from my fingers, and he skidded across the ground before coming to a complete stop, face first in the snow. I hid myself in the darkness that the forest provided once the trees moved back into place. The light from the stars and moon in the night sky left shadows in the woods that I faded into.

As I camouflaged myself in the darkness, I watched as one of the greatest heroes I knew groaned and turned himself over onto his back before reaching up and tearing off the metal faceplate, “what the hell was that?” he asked aloud to the artificial intelligence we all knew as Jarvis. I could hear the change in his breathing pattern. I had such a strong connection to him that I could feel every subtle change within him, sometimes before they even happened. I knew that he was paranoid about what just happened, “did you see that beam of light in the sky, Jay? Was it just me? Am I going crazy? Where are we” he asked, his voice trembling.

I didn’t hear Jarvis’ response, but if I closed my eyes, I could hear that voice. It was smoother than anyone could have anticipated from a disembodied, artificial voice. As Tony’s suit opened, I watched as he shot out of it, sitting up and staring into the woods he had just barrelled through. I knew he was trying to think of how he possibly made it out of there without crashing through trees and hitting branches. His eyes scanned the shadows, but I blended in so well that he wouldn’t be able to see me even if he was staring right at me. I watched as he began to shudder from the cold, “that’s brisk!” he exclaimed, his entire body trembling from the cold. I couldn’t imagine how it must’ve felt for him. I was lucky enough to be impervious to the fluctuating seasons. The extreme heat and cold wouldn’t kill me, but it could make me uncomfortable, and I was pretty uncomfortable in that moment, “maybe I’ll just cozy back up for a-”

Tony was cut off by the disembodied voice that came from the open suit, “I...actually think I need to sleep now, sir,” Jarvis said, the suit beginning to power down.

“Jarvis. Jarvis?” Tony asked, panic in his voice. I knew he didn’t want to be left alone, not after what he just went through. I didn’t know what led up to him rocketing down toward the ground, but I could tell by the fear in his voice, the cuts on his face, and the shaking in his hands that things were far from being alright for him. He was terrified, and it wasn’t because of what just happened, it was because of something else, something I needed to help him with. As his eyes continued to scan the forest around him, I stepped out of the shadows and listened to his breath hitch in his throat. As I stepped out of the forest and closed the space between us, I lowered the hood of my robes, “Eva?” he asked, his body continuing to quake in anticipation, uncertainty, and the cold.

The sides of my mouth pulled up into a smile, and I did my best to push back the pain in my abdomen for the moment in order to be positive for his sake, “hi, Tony,” I murmured, my heart filling with joy as it finally sank in that he was alive. When Heimdall told me that he was in danger, I was worried that I wouldn’t make it to him in time or that he would already be dead.

His dark brown eyes remained wide, even as I knelt down beside him. He was in utter disbelief that I was even there in front of him, and there would be little to nothing I could do to ease his mind. The last time we saw each other, I had made it abundantly clear that I would only be back in the most dire circumstances that pertained to her safety. However, I knew that she wasn’t in danger with Steve; there was no way he would allow harm to come to her, especially not after all we had been through. Tony was the only one whose life was on the line. He shook his head, his eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly as he tried to blink away what he thought was an illusion, “am I dreaming?” he asked, the words causing me to let out a chuckle, “am I dead?” he asked, not understanding why he was seeing me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering why it was so hard for a genius like him to figure it out. I knew that part of it was how I left things when I went back to Asgard the last time, but I also knew that a part of it was because he couldn’t wrap his mind around why someone would care about him enough to go out of their way to help him. It was devastating to see him trying to figure out why people would care about him in the first place, and I was watching it happen in front of my eyes in that very moment, “no, why?” I asked, wrapping my cloak around his shoulders to keep him warm. The lack of warmth from my cloak left my patches of bare skin prey for the cold air around us. Tony was warm, though, and that was all that mattered.

As he tried to shrug out of the cloak, not wanting me to go without, I shook my head and watched as the robes stayed locked around his body. He looked genuinely confused, but he was still too busy trying to decipher my presence, “what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, finally giving up the fight to figure it out on his own. Suddenly, his eyes filled with dread, “is she okay?” he asked, knowing that there should’ve been no reason for my presence as long as she was safe.

I gave a simple nod, not wanting to talk about her, “I’m here to help. I saw that you were in trouble, so I’m here to help you sort through it and to make sure you don’t get yourself killed, which it seems like you’re trying to do,” I said, gazing at the cuts on his face. There was one across the bridge of his nose, one on his cheek, and one on his forehead. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to piece together what happened before I got there, what happened to lead to him rocketing toward the Earth, looking just as busted up as Hjalmar did when he trained with Ephinea. She could lay him out without missing a beat, “you’re bleeding!” I exclaimed, reaching out to cup his cheek only for him to wince away from me.

That single move tore my heart to pieces, as if there was still enough of it left whole for that to happen. I had always been able to see through the facade he put up, but this was something new. He was far more vulnerable than ever before in that one reaction, and it summed up the way he saw himself. It summed up just how little he believed he was worth. He didn’t think himself worthy enough for my help, and he was afraid that I would hurt him. It hurt to know that he could view me as a threat, but it hurt me even more that someone or something hurt him so badly that he was conditioned to expect that. Tony had been through a lot, far more than he ever could’ve imagined, far more than many others could handle. He was tender-hearted but hid away that side of himself to appear cold, to appear “strong.”

I blinked the tears away, not wanting to show him how much his action truly hurt me, “I can fix it,” I explained, causing him to finally show himself to me. His eyebrows furrowed, and I knew that he doubted my abilities, but he would see them in a moment. I reached up once more, focusing on the slow movement of my hand, making sure not to startle him again. The entire time, I felt his gaze on me, and once I finally rested my hand against his cheek, I met his intense stare, brown eyes boring into mine. They were so deep that the further I fell into his gaze, the warmer I became. As I focused my power, I felt his wounds transferring through my fingertips and onto me, and his eyes fluttered closed. Even though it was always an unpleasant experience, even though my whole body ached, the piece that made the transfer worth it was knowing that the pain I endured was a pain he no longer needed to carry. For a man like Tony, I would take on a pain that would take my life just so the world could keep him.

Once I removed my hand from his cheek, his eyes shot open. Every time I touched someone, I knew the effect. Our souls-for that moment-were connected. I didn’t understand why or how it happened, but it did. When I used my abilities on that person through the touch, the connection was heightened. When I stopped using my abilities and pulled away, it was like an electrical shock, leaving the other person slightly mystified. When Tony finally realized what I had done, seeing the cuts on my face that once belonged to him, his eyebrows furrowed, “how did-why did you do that?” he asked, tripping over his own words.

“I wanted to help,” I answered simply before standing up and holding my hand out for him to join me. He took it, and I pulled him up to his feet. He brushed himself off beneath the cloak that fell from his broad shoulders. For a moment, I saw Howard once more, and I realized how similar they looked but how much gentler Tony was than his father. I cleared my throat, not wanting to waste time reminiscing when I didn’t know the kind of danger Tony was in, “come. Let us find somewhere warmer,” I stated, and he nodded his head in agreement. Even though he was warm in the robes, I knew he only agreed because he was worried about me, and he would’ve attempted to give the robes back if he didn’t already know what my response would have been. We learned a lot about each other in New York, “we should make our way toward the closest town. I will carry the suit. Just follow me and try not to freeze to death.”

He shook his head as soon as I mentioned his suit, and I knew that it was the same reaction I would’ve received if I offered to carry a mother’s newborn child away from her. He was simply protective over his creations, and he had good reason to be. He worked tirelessly on them, and I saw what his obsession and perfectionist mentality had done to him. He wanted to protect the things he nearly killed himself trying to perfect, “I can carry the-” his voice trailed off as I lifted the suit into my arms, and rested it over my shoulder like Hjalmar did to me countless times before throwing me into the pond in the woods behind our cottage. I watched as Tony’s eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, “yeah, you can...carry the suit,” he murmured.

I chuckled, knowing that he seemingly forgot that I was not of this world, that our anatomy, while very  similar, was different. I was no goddess, but Asgardians were physically stronger than the people of Midgard and were more durable for the most part. Closing my eyes, I felt my life connecting with the essence of the world beneath my feet, and I listened to the gentle thrumming that surrounded me. I could where it was coming from, and when I opened my eyes, I began following it with Tony close behind me. He picked up his pace and gazed up at me, “how do you even know which way we’re going? Have you been in this area before?” he asked, unsure of how I knew where I was.

I shook my head, “no, but I can feel it,” I answered, not knowing exactly how to explain it, but I could still feel his confusion. Tony was very grounded in science and logic, but there were certain things about me, certain things about the world I knew, that weren’t grounded in anything I could explain with science or with a language he would know. I didn’t even know how to comprehend some of my abilities, and there were times when I lived in fear of them because they had a tendency to show up out of the blue. I wasn’t a goddess, but I had been granted strengths and abilities that were uncommon in the lives of the average Asgardian. I continued to speak, knowing that he would remain uncertain as long as his unasked question went unanswered, “it’s a lot like a vibration. I can feel the essence of life, and I can feel it when it’s close. I just know the way to go,” I explained to the best of my ability.

I glanced over at him, and our eyes connected. I saw every vulnerability he had in that moment, and he knew I could see it, but he didn’t try to hide from me. Our connection, while strange, was deep and unbreakable. No amount of time or space could break what we had, and that all began far before he could remember, far before I would ever disclose. He gave a simple nod of his head, content with the answer I gave, even though it was vague and confusing, “I trust you,” he remarked, an intensity in his eyes that could match a dying star.

“I won’t let you down,” I promised before gazing down at the snow that covered the ground in a blanket of white. We walked in silence for a while as we both tried to wrap our minds around what was happening in our own personal lives. I knew that Tony would be too respectful of my privacy to press the question of why I was on Midgard helping him. He knew what coming back to this world meant to me, the kind of pain and distress it would cause me, so he couldn’t understand why I would come back to help him with something that wasn’t a threat on a worldwide scale, not like Loki had been in New York. I didn’t know if he was willing to talk about the events that led up to him crashing into a field of snow so far from civilization, so we walked in silence until we saw the lights radiating from a small town.

“Maybe we should look for a phone, so you can try to contact Pepper to let her know you’re safe,” I noted, making a mental note to find someone who was willing to spare their phone for Tony to use, “she must be worried sick about you.”

He cleared his throat, and I felt a shift in his energy. Glancing over at him, I saw the frown etched deeply into his face, and I knew that he was upset by my words. Before I had the chance to apologize, he spoke, “she actually left after New York,” he confessed, “she said that it was too much to handle, especially since I wasn’t willing to put my suits to rest. How could I, though, especially after seeing what the world was up against?” he asked, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the warmth beneath the robes.

I frowned, “you’ve been a hero to the world for a long time, Tony. You made the choice to become a hero, and that choice didn’t come from a place of arrogance or need for a higher level of fame. You became a hero because you have the compassion this world so desperately needs. You took the weight of the world onto your shoulders and fought on behalf of those who couldn’t fight for themselves. If my words mean anything, you should know that you more than earned the luxury of hanging up the mantle of Iron Man and living as Tony Stark,” I explained, “I’m not telling you that you need to, and I’m not telling you that she was right for leaving. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you anymore.”

He shook his head, “she moved on. She’s with a new guy in a new city, and she’s happy. That’s all I ever wanted for her, and I think that deep down, I knew she wouldn’t find that with me,” he stated.

My eyes immediately filled with tears as I listened to him talk about himself like there was something wrong with him. I blinked the tears away, but the ache in my heart was still there, “I really wish you could see yourself the way I see you because you’d understand just how brilliant and incredible you truly are, Tony. It hurts to hear the way you talk about yourself, like you’re not worthy of love because...you’re wrong,” I stated, shaking my head.

Then, there was silence again. All I could hear was the snowflakes falling from the sky. Some of them even clung to Tony’s long eyelashes, which I couldn’t help but notice when I glanced over at him, wanting to know if I had crossed a line with him. Feeling my gaze, he met my eyes with his once more, a light smile tugging at his lips, “so, if you aren’t down here for her, why come here for me?” he asked, questioning my reasoning with furrowed eyebrows. I knew that his confusion stemmed from my previous statements that I wouldn’t come back to Midgard unless her life was in danger or that the safety of the entire planet was on the line.

“I told Heimdall to keep an eye on certain people at all times-her, the other Avengers, and you,” I noted, feeling the disbelief within him when I mentioned him. The man never saw himself as worthy of anything, especially love or concern, “I assigned him the task of watching over you all, and he would fill me in on any changes as they presented themselves. He promised to alert me if any of your lives were in danger, and when he disclosed to me that you were in danger, I came right away,” I explained.

“So, you didn’t live up to your word,” he stated, nonchalantly, the hint of an entertained smirk forming on his lips. He was amused that he was right, as he had argued with me furiously when I promised not to come back. He told me that it was selfish and abhorrent to leave so many people who cared about me so much, and he also told me that I wouldn’t be able to stay away for long, not with the “heart of gold” he claimed I had. I didn’t believe it, though. How could I believe I was “good” or “worthy” when the favor I asked of him was so selfish, when I was poisoning everyone around me, when I was repeating the same injustice that was done to me when I wasn’t even old enough to comprehend it.

I sighed, “I couldn’t live up to my word, not with this. You were right, though, Tony. It was ignorant of me to think that I could stay away, especially from you,” I noted, glancing up at him to see that he tried to hide the color that rose to his cheeks the moment I paid him a compliment.

He cleared his throat, obviously not comfortable calling attention to the effect my words had on him in that moment. It wasn’t my intention to cause him discomfort, but perhaps I just had a tendency to do so. I could vividly remember my words of praise having the same effect on Loki, Thor, Hjalmar, Ephinea, and every Midgardian I came in contact with, including the ever stoic Natasha Romanoff. Tony glanced up at me, his brown eyes sparkling as if the galaxy resided within them, “well, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t like having to admit I need help, but it wouldn’t hurt to have an Asgardian in my corner for this one,” he noted, a slight grin tugging at his lips.

“We’re going to fix this together. You won’t face this alone, Tony; you never face anything alone,” I reminded him, knowing that he had a tendency to believe himself to be isolated, but as long as I was alive, there would never come a day he would be alone. I would be his guardian, regardless of the amount of times he tried to talk me out of risking my life for his. I had come to understand that we-as living beings-wish to preserve things that we deem better than ourselves, and Tony Stark was far better than I was.

The silence fell between us once more, and I found myself enjoying the soft crunch of snow beneath our feet. However, the sensation of the falling snowflakes left my cheeks wet and bitter cold. There was nothing quite like the sensation of his warmth invading my own, though. He drew closer and closer to me until there was little space between us, and he pushed the robe back just enough to slip his hand out from under it and grasp mine. As soon as our skin touched, I felt the uncertainty and the fear within him. He was terrified of the future, and my presence-somehow-gave him the support he so desperately needed in that trying time. His sudden firm, yet gentle, grasp of my hand made me realize the impact I could have on the life of a man who meant so much to me, and I could only hope I didn’t ruin it again.

For the remainder of our journey, I continued to carry the suit with one arm while the fingers of my opposite hand intertwined perfectly with those of the brilliant man beside me, “what has it been like?” he asked, vaguely, causing my eyebrows to furrow. I could feel what he wanted to ask me, but I was too afraid to answer him, so I resorted to confusion, “it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I don’t have a watcher like you do. The last time you left, I was...worried, and I haven’t seen you since. I just want to know what has gone on in your life,” he explained, his heart of gold shining through once more, as if I could possibly forget how tender he always was with me.

My heart broke as I thought of all that had happened since we’d last seen each other. No matter how terrible I felt at our last encounter, I felt impossibly worse in the aftermath of it. It was as if I tore the remainder of my heart out when we last saw each other and left it on Midgard. While it was broken and abused, I was lost without it, and with the loss of my brother and the struggles I had recently with Loki, I realized just how turbulent my life had been since I’d seen him. The last time we spoke, I was doing my best to fix the damaged pieces of myself and of my relationship with Loki. Knowing he was still alive renewed my drive to rescue him from the dark recesses of his own mind, a darkness that hadn’t been there from the beginning. Since that time, I had no opportunities to better myself or help Loki or keep the people I loved most safe. I sighed, “well…” I breathed out, not knowing how to explain everything to him. He had asked many questions when we “first” met, so he knew about Hjalmar and my past. The only thing he didn’t know about was my history with Loki.

My heart began racing in anticipation for having to open up about the complete and utter failure my life had been from the moment I left him on the rooftop in tears; however, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by a small and flickering light. The energy I felt was untamed, and I was caught off guard by the sudden pull to that place in particular. I pulled my hand away from his and pointed at the dim light, “look!” I exclaimed, urging Tony to take notice of our shelter for the night. I was more than grateful to have been saved from needing to talk about Hjalmar and Loki, knowing that I wouldn’t have been able to lie to Tony, not without him seeing right through me. I would’ve had no choice but to be honest with him about what I had gone through since our last encounter.

As we drew closer to the small shack, we saw it was adjacent to an equally small house that looked to be in need of some manual labor. After passing through one last clump of trees, we came to the clearing only to see the small town spread out only a short distance from the shack. I felt the vibrations becoming stronger and stronger within my body as we drew closer to our shelter for the night, and I glanced over at Tony’s face to see a look of pure relief. I knew that he had some doubts that we would manage to find our way to civilization, especially after his bad luck leading up to that point. Peeking in through the window of the house, he concluded that no one was home, but I couldn’t understand why my senses were so wrong. I could feel a powerful pull to this place, and if no one was there, it would be meaningless.

Once we broke into the shack-an easy feat when Tony had a crowbar-I stepped inside the air that was just a touch warmer than the outside and placed the suit down on the floor. As I stood back up, a pulse of fire radiated from the wound on my abdomen, causing my body to seize. Before Tony could notice, I forced myself to stand back up and push the pain as far away as possible. When I stood back up, I took in the sight of Tony sitting on a stool next to a workbench, barely lit by the light of a small lamp. He gazed around the dimly lit room, all while I gazed at him, and the vibrations became more and more powerful, almost like when I first met her.

“Freeze!” I heard the small but strong voice coming from the doorway Tony and I had just come through. Suddenly, the vibration stopped, and I felt the serenity wash over me. The boy was small and looked frail with golden hair that melted into strands of brown and green eyes, “don’t move,” he ordered, pointing the contraption in his hands at Tony.

I glanced over at my companion and noticed that he had his hands raised as a sign of surrender, and I wondered if my help was necessary against such a small opponent. Tony sighed, “You got me. Nice potato gun,” he complimented the young boy.

The small child looked up at me, and I couldn’t help but smile down at him, easing his nerves slightly. If I had been able to touch him, I could’ve calmed his nerves with a bit of focus, but I knew better than to reach out to a scared child. I wanted to help him, not traumatize him, and the situation we were in was traumatizing enough. He looked afraid as he gripped his “potato gun” that he would use for protection against us-the intruders; however, the moment I smiled at him, I watched as his fingers loosened on the barrel and trigger, and his lips curled up the slightest bit, “who are you?”

I knelt down to the floor, getting down onto his level and showing him that I wasn’t a threat. His breathing became slow and steady as he looked me over a few times, taking in the differences between myself and other people he had come into contact with, “my name is Eva, and you are?” I asked.

“Harley,” he answered politely, his green eyes flickering between mine, “why are you dressed like that?” he asked, lowering his makeshift weapon and gesturing at my armor.

I smiled at his innocent question, and I knew there was no way around it. I didn’t have to tell him I was an Asgardian, but I couldn’t lie to him either. I knew that the vibrations I had been feeling were because of the life force of the child in front of me, “where I’m from, this is what we wear to protect ourselves in battle, so when I leave home, I wear something similar to protect myself from other worthy opponents I may meet along the way,” I said, explaining it to him as thoroughly as possible without telling him outright where I was from.

His eyes continued to scan my body until they caught sight of the hilt of the sword over my shoulder, at which point I saw his eyes widen, “you’re the Mother Goddess!” he exclaimed, causing my eyebrows to furrow in confusion. I had never heard that name before, and I wondered if he had me confused with someone else. I glanced over at Tony who just gave me a simple nod of his head, letting me know that Harley was being completely honest, but I had no idea where that name came from. I wasn’t a goddess by any means of the word, so I didn’t know why I would be called that. Seeing my confusion, Harley spoke again, “you fought in New York, right?” he asked

I nodded my head, “I did,” I answered, my voice soft as I recalled some of the worst moments of my life thus far.

“And you’re one of the heroes from that day?” he asked, sweetness in his small voice.

I shook my head, “no, not a hero. I just-”

Tony’s voice from the workbench cut me off, causing both Harley and myself to switch our focus over to him, “yes, a hero,” he corrected me, his eyes connecting with Harley’s, “she nearly gave her life to protect Earth, and the name Earth gave her was fitting,” he said, his eyes flickering over to me, “you have a bit of a reputation here on Earth ever since New York. I was going to explain it to you tonight before we ran into anyone who recognized you, but I wasn’t anticipating any visitors,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“Neither was I,” Harley interjected before glancing back over at me, “the people here gave you that name. We didn’t know who you were, so we just started calling you the Mother Goddess. Some people just call you Mother.”

“Where did it come from?” I asked, wondering why people chose that nickname over all others that may have crossed their minds.

Tony interjected again, and my eyes met his, “because you loved this world so much that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for every living being on it. You were the mother to the population of the world that day, loving every person so unconditionally and so instantaneously. The love the people had for you pulled the population of the Earth together. You saved so many people in New York, even after you had nearly died. You sifted through the rubble to rescue the survivors of buildings that had collapsed, and you stood against the danger to protect us all. You were a mother to the world, and the people here will never forget that,” he explained before the room around me began spinning.

I tried to focus my eyes on him but failed, the feeling being similar to the one I experienced when I was stabbed by Loki in New York. The wound on my abdomen began pulsing, and the pain made me want to scream, but still, I wouldn’t worry Tony with my problems, not when I was on Midgard to assist him with his own. As Harley spoke directly to Tony, my ears began ringing. It felt like that was it, like this was the end. As my chest began to tighten, I hurried out of the shack, mumbling something I couldn’t even hear to Tony. I hoped it was coherent enough to let him know that I just needed some air. If I was going to die, I wanted to do so alone to keep from hurting those who cared about me, and Tony was one of those people. He didn’t deserve to watch me die, not when he had been one of the few people who made me want to live.

Using all the strength I had, I stumbled out of the shack and out into the woods once more before falling to my knees. My body couldn’t hold itself upright as the pain flashed through my body over and over again, as if the wound itself was trying to light my very soul on fire. I fell to the forest floor, grunting in pain through gritted teeth. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to will away the pain, desperately pulling as much air into my lungs as possible, wanting to taste the sweetness of life before the pain took me completely. The wound grew warmer and warmer, my skin feeling as if it was decaying around it. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain-nothing.

“Take them...please,” I heard a familiar voice in the distance, and just as quickly as the pain and panic arrived, it disappeared completely. When I opened my eyes, I gazed upon the scene in front of me. I was in the throne room on Asgard. For a moment, I wondered what was happening. Was I dead? Was I dreaming? I gazed out at the scene before me. Odin was seated on the throne, younger than he was when I knew him, but still beyond his prime. Frigga stood beside his throne, graceful as always. My father-Aaldir-stood on the other side of Odin as one of the Allfather’s most trusted advisors. Father looked much younger without a single grey hair upon his head. Before them stood a woman with her back turned to me. Black hair fell in wild waves across her back, and I sensed a familiarity in her even though I couldn’t see her face. It felt as if I knew her, like I could feel her very presence in my soul even in the vision. She sniffled, and my mind twisted as I remembered the dream I had, running through the the field.

“Why should I do anything you ask of me?” Odin barked out, using his one good eye to glare at the woman before him. I watched as Frigga winced at the harshness in his tone-something she often did when I confronted him about Loki.

The mystery woman’s body shook, and I sensed her fear, “I have nowhere else to take them. You are my last hope,” she cried, and I felt my heart twisting in pain for the poor woman. A soft cry confirmed what I had been thinking, what I hoped had not been true. A child. She was asking for him to take in her children, and I had a feeling I knew who it was, but I was too terrified to even say her name. She was the mistress of the night, the collector of life, the absence of light. I didn’t know why I was having these visions or if they were anything for me to think about further.

“Do you know what you’re asking of me?” Odin hissed, causing my body to seize. While I knew this was only in my mind, it was becoming harder and harder every moment not to lose myself. I stood up from the ground and walked toward the throne. My footsteps were so soft against the hard floor, they made no sound in the throne room.

“To help two defenseless children,” the woman answered, strength in her soft voice. Every word she spoke made a wave of serenity wash over me. I was not afraid, nor did I tremble like I usually did when Thor would tell me the tales about the mysterious entity, “do not think I’m asking this favor for myself; I am asking this for their sake. They will only know pain and suffering should they stay with me-they will only know fear.”

Odin stood from his throne but didn’t step down the stairs to be on level ground with her. I frowned as he spoke, “you come to Asgard, burden my throne room with your filth, and ask me to take the children of a demon like you. You ask me to humiliate my home and my people, to tarnish my name-”

She cut him off, her voice just as powerful as before. She was not a weak-willed woman, and I could tell that just from hearing her speak. Looking at it from the outside, it reminded me of how I spoke to Odin a few times in the past, especially when he refused to show Loki any mercy. While I felt her heart filling with sorrow and a diminishing hope, she didn’t falter as she fought on behalf of the children in her arms, “I ask you to protect children who belong here. A child is not responsible for the mistakes of their parent. They should not be held accountable for either of our decisions,” she explained as I continued to close the space between us, desperately wanting to see her face to confirm her identity.

Odin grumbled, his beard failing to conceal his frown of disdain. As he turned his back on the woman and sat back down on the golden throne, he let out a deep breath, “if you are so eager to pass them off into my care, you should know that I will treat them with little dignity. The offspring of Death and a serpent could never be trusted, let alone welcomed, in my home,” he hissed, his voice low and powerful. My eyes widened as he confirmed her identity. I heard the familiar sharpness in his tone, but he had no problem cutting her down-a mother only wishing to save her children, “leave them there on the floor, and I will have my guards take them to the dungeons where they will spend the rest of their lives.”

Just as Death began crying once more, burying her face into the cloth that swaddled her infant children, Frigga stepped forward, glaring at her husband, “you will do no such thing!” she admonished him, her voice piercing through the room as she stepped down to the floor Death stood upon, drawing nearer and nearer to to heartbroken intruder. Odin could do nothing but sit in a stunned silence as Frigga showed mercy to the same woman he had just been so cruel to, “bring them to me,” Frigga instructed her in a calm voice.

Death obeyed the commands of the queen, walking slowly over to her, and I waited with baited breath as she whispered words of love into the ear of the first child before placing him or her gently into the open arms of Frigga, the woman I would come to know as my mother. She was the closest I had to one growing up, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. The first child was indistinguishable, beautiful but strong with piercing green eyes like the colors of spring all in one. Then, Death held up the second child, a girl with eyes more brilliant than emeralds, a green that matched the colors of spring. Her eyes were without imperfections. No other colors dared to taint the purity of that green. It was the same baby from the first vision I had of Death, but that time, I had the cold feeling I knew who it was.

My heart pounded in my chest as the entity of Death raised the child to her face, nuzzling her cheek against the smooth skin of the baby. I heard sniffles coming from Death, a woman I always believed was too cold to feel any emotion at all. She was the keeper of the dead, the bringer of the end-everything I was against. While I understood that death was a part of life, that all things would someday be reborn, she represented the absence of life itself. However, in that moment, seeing her cradling the small child so lovingly, I realized that I had been wrong, that every living being was capable of some form of emotion. Her cries broke my heart, as did it break the heart of the child in her arms, and I watched as the baby cried,

“Goodbye, Eva,” Death whispered, and my breaking heart stopped. My breath hitched in my throat as my greatest fear was just confirmed. It hadn’t been my own delusion that caused me to see the reflection of the child’s eyes in my own, the color mirroring that of mine. It wasn’t my mind playing cruel tricks on me when the heart of the child broke the same way mine did. Was it real, though? Was the vision just a part of the madness that arose due to the wound that left me feverish and disoriented? Was she...where I belonged? I couldn’t bring myself to think of such a thing. I valued life above all else, so it was impossible for Death to be...mine. She spoke again before my mind could fall further into the delirium, “I love you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever given. Loving you was my greatest weakness, and leaving you is my greatest failure,” she whispered, her voice low and soothing as she rubbed the back of the small child.

“Leaving her here to protect her is the best thing you can do as a mother. Go. I will see to it that your children are cared for,” Frigga promised as she took the infant into her arms, cradling both of them the same way Death had been. Aaldir stepped down from the side of the throne and took the little girl...me. He cradled her close and closed the space between himself and the cosmic entity each one of us would meet at some point. Reaching out to her, he caressed her cheek, and just as he always did with me, he wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb.

As I drew closer to her, standing directly behind her, I wished to wrap her in my arms. Even if this was all a hallucination with no meaning, her pain threatened to tear my very soul apart. As I felt the tears rising to my eyes, her soft voice began singing that familiar melody, the one I could remember all throughout my childhood but didn’t know where it came from, “I wish to stop time and stare at the stars, for just one more moment with you. Now stars shine brightest wherever you are, and they will shine on me no more,” she sang before turning around. Black eyes met mine, and black tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Her hand came up to caress my cheek, cold fingers wiping away the tears from my eyes. Just as I leaned into her touch, desperate for that connection, I found myself back in the woods.

Alone again.

[blissedoutphil]

Dan’s Purpose

When I first watched actual phan say this, my first thought was “wow im def gonna write lotsa smut about this” but somehow I ended up with....this? A smut blog writing angst?? What happened here :x

But I hope you enjoy my first attempt at (almost) non-smut!! Do give me feedback, like if I should just stick to smut or something lmao bc I honestly dont know if this is any good

EDIT: THANK YOU for voting for this fic in the phanficawards!! It's won third place in the Undiscovered Gem category :) thank you for motivating me and helping me every time I doubt my writing <33

4428 words of neko!dan, owner!Phil, angst, a lil fluff, mentions of smut, grinding, punishment

or read on ao3!

Dan is Phil’s good little kitten. He’s proud of it. He loves it when his Master shows him off to people, loves it when his Master is proud of owning him. He knows he’s lucky to have Phil, especially since he could’ve ended up with anyone in this world, and there are many horrible, awful people out there.

Phil was fair, he was kind. He didn’t abuse his power like so many people did to nekos. He keeps Dan safe and he makes Dan feel loved. Phil treats Dan like a princess, always spoiling him.

Technically Dan was still Phil’s slave. No matter how nicely Phil treats him, he can’t escape from his fate in this world where nekos were just born, bred and sold to serve. Few lucky ones out there got training to serve in better jobs, but most nekos were just sold as pleasure slaves. Dan spent years afraid of being sold to someone nasty. He may not have been lucky enough to get training for a better job, but at least he was lucky enough to be sold to Phil. At least he wasn’t like some of the most unfortunate nekos who had no home and were just left on the street, vulnerable to anyone who mean harm.

When Dan first met Phil at 16, he had expected the worst. Phil was so tall and Dan barely reached his shoulders. He was terrified of Phil and he’d expected to be used immediately by the man 5 years older, but Phil barely touched him. Phil was caring and careful. He made the effort to earn Dan’s trust. He knew how nekos were generally treated terribly, especially since he grew up with one mistreated by his own family. He might have decided to buy a neko only to prove to himself that he wasn’t like his family. It took a while, but Dan warmed up to him soon enough.

And Dan learned that sex wasn’t always painful and scary like the nekos he’d met described. Phil was so gentle with him, he paid attention to Dan’s needs and he never made Dan do anything he was uncomfortable with. As a natural submissive, Dan discovered that he actually enjoyed pleasuring Phil. Soon he realised that he wanted to serve his owner - sexually or not. It was something he never thought was possible before being owned.

Phil did set rules and tasks, although he was lenient with them. Dan obeys them like the good cat he was. Simple things for Dan’s sake, really, like eating healthy, exercising, helping out with chores around the house, and no humping against furniture. Phil would only discipline him if he broke any rule or disobeyed him, but it was a rare occasion.

Dan loves it when his Master shows him off to people, but not this time. Adam crouched down to scritch the back of his ear, but Dan only flattened his ears. He wanted to hiss at Adam to shoo him away, but he knew his Master wouldn’t appreciate that. Dan was hiding under the office table, and with his back pressed against the wall, he realised it was a bad hiding spot.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him today, he’s usually not that shy,” Phil spoke, addressing Adam who was standing back up.

When Adam left the room, Phil crouched down to have a proper look at Dan. “What’s wrong, pet?”

“Nothing...” Dan mumbled, “just. You didn’t warn me that we were gonna have company today.”

“Sorry about that, I’ll explain later, alright?” Phil said before hurrying out.

Technically, Dan was still Phil’s slave. He should be doing what Phil wants him to, should know what was expected of him even without verbal commands. In that moment, he was expected to greet this Adam guy politely. He knew that was what Phil wanted him to do. But Dan also knew that Phil wasn’t like normal neko slave owners. He wouldn’t get into trouble for acting against his owner’s wishes.

Although he never knew about this Adam guy before today, Dan just didn’t like him. He wasn’t even sure why, because the guy honestly seemed like a nice person. Phil won’t hang out with neko abusers, and he certainly won’t introduce such people to his beloved neko. So Dan knew that Adam was a nice guy. But still he couldn’t help feeling uneasy about him.

Perhaps it was the way Dan saw them entering the apartment, all huddled up together. Perhaps it was the way Phil smiled at Adam, a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle that usually, only Dan caused. Something about these little things made Dan’s stomach drop.

Dan quietly crawled and peeked around the office door in time to see Adam leaving. When he saw Adam kiss Phil goodbye, his heart stopped and that was when he knew he was in trouble.

Later that night, Phil was hugging Dan close in bed as they always do when they went to sleep.

“I didn’t plan for Adam to visit us tonight, sorry about that. We were just caught up in rain and we were only 2 blocks away from here, so I decided to bring him back for some warmth while waiting for the rain to stop before he could go home,” Phil stroked Dan’s curls as he spoke, and Dan’s ears perked up, listening intently.

“I’ve never heard of Adam before,” Dan muttered. Phil told him everything, his owner barely had any friends. Phil chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah sorry bout that too. I’ve been seeing Adam for almost 3 weeks now? I never told you because I didn’t know if it was going to be a serious thing or just like a fling. But I think we might actually get serious.”

Phil was smiling now, a dreamy look on his face. He hadn’t had a partner in ages. He’d been single since before he bought Dan, and Dan’s been with him for 4 years. Dan knew this, so he should be happy for his owner. He really should.

But.

But he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his chest. He received lots of training at the neko centre on how to be a proper slave for his owner. How to serve and how to provide pleasure. But he was never taught on how to deal with heartache. Because who would think that a neko would fall in love with their owner?

Dan was in trouble.

Dan wasn’t stupid. He knew this day would come. Of course Phil would finally find someone one day. How could he not? Such a charming, positive and loving guy would surely win someone’s heart soon enough. And of course he wouldn’t expect a human to fall in love with a neko. Yes, he knows that Phil loves him, but not that way. So naturally, he shouldn’t fall in love with a human either.

Except.

Except Dan was stupid. How could anyone fall in love with someone who bought them? Someone he was technically a slave for? But then again, could he be blamed for falling for Phil? The only person in his life who ever showed care for him? Someone who treats him with respect despite their status? Dan was in love and he was stupid.

He was also silent for a bit too long. Phil was looking at him now, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“That’s. That’s great, Sir,” he said softly, avoiding eye contact.

Phil either didn’t notice anything wrong or he didn’t want to mention it because he kissed Dan goodnight and that was the end of the conversation.

Since then, Phil started coming home late. Once, he even spent the night at Adam’s and forgot to inform Dan, leaving Dan to sleep alone confused and worried.

The couple stumbled into the apartment late one night, and Dan caught a glimpse of Adam pushing Phil against the door as soon as it closed, the two of them urgently making out. Dan retreated to the office, he couldn’t bear to hear or watch them.

When he was too tired to stay up any longer, he went to the bedroom only to find the door closed, and sounds of sex coming from the other side of the door. Dan sighed and waited by the corridor.

Soon enough the sounds stopped. Dan’s ears were flattened, trying to drown them out. He felt dirty and wrong for hearing them. Perhaps even jealous, but he would never admit that. He waited for Phil to come out and look for him to go to sleep together. Silently hoped that Adam would leave. But time passed and the silence dragged on.

If Adam can satisfy Phil’s sexual needs then...what was Dan’s purpose there anymore? If Adam was now here to keep Phil company, was Dan still needed?

Technically, Dan was Phil’s slave. His purpose was to serve Phil sexually and satisfy his needs and wants. Phil was a lonely guy who needed company when he bought Dan. But if his needs and desires were being met by someone else...Dan was of no use.

His chest began heaving and tears slipped down his cheeks. He considered knocking on the door; even if he couldn’t sleep in bed with Phil, his cat bed was next to Phil’s bed. But he quickly decided against it, Phil was probably asleep already and who was Dan to disturb his Master’s rest?

He tried to stand to go to the lounge and sleep on the sofa, but his limbs felt heavy and he suddenly had no energy to move. He felt out of breath and he couldn’t stop trembling. Nekos who weren’t needed by their owners usually had two fates - either be sold to someone else or just abandoned. Was Phil as exceptional as Dan had thought all this time, or will he be just like any other neko owner out there?

Dan hiccuped and willed himself to shut his brain up and just go to sleep.

It was Adam who saw Dan first the next morning when he opened the bedroom door. Dan woke with a startle when the door swung open, losing his balance as he was curled up against the door.

“Oh! Dan, good morning,” Adam chirped, too enthusiastic in the early hours of the day for Dan’s liking.

Dan didn’t reply, only curled his tail around himself and shied away from the door. He heard Phil exclaim from inside the room, then heard Phil’s footsteps rushing to the door. Dan wanted to hide. He looked pitiful, with his swollen eyes and dried tear tracks down his face.

“Oh I’m so sorry I forgot to let you in, pet,” Phil apologised sincerely, crouching down to Dan.

“It’s okay,” Dan mumbled.

He felt like crying again, how pathetic. He tried his best to keep his composure and quickly went to the bathroom to wash up.

When Dan was done showering and changing, he went to the kitchen and found that Adam had cooked them breakfast. His tail hung between his legs. That was another thing he was meant to do. Adam was replacing him in every way and it was crushing him.

“Dan! Adam made us pancakes, come have some,” Phil gestured to the stack of pancakes on the kitchen table.

It smelled so good, but one look at Adam happily eating next to Phil and Dan’s appetite was gone.

“Not hungry,” Dan simply said and started to retreat from the kitchen.

“Dan, it’s not good to skip breakfast,” Phil’s voice was stern, he always placed importance on Dan’s eating habits.

Dan exhaled shakily, how stupid of him to deny his Master’s requests. Then again, if he was going to be disowned soon anyway, what’s the point of following orders? He steadied his breathing and walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Phil’s confused look.

After breakfast, Adam finally left and Phil took the opportunity to ask Dan about his behaviour earlier.

“Don’t lie to me, Dan. I can tell you only didn’t want to eat because breakfast was made by Adam, isn’t that right?” Phil asked, but he didn’t sound angry, just upset.

Dan didn’t want to admit that he could be so easily read by Phil, so he pawed at his tail nervously.

“Don’t you want to show Adam that you’re my good kitty?” Phil continued.

Dan frowned, how could Phil try to make him feel guilty like it was his fault that Adam was doing all his work now.

When Phil was met with silence again, he sighed. “I don’t know what you want when you don’t even want to talk to me. I have to go,” he got up and left the house, leaving Dan feeling absolutely hurt because Phil didn’t even kiss him goodbye like he always did before going to work.

Dan had a good cry and a great nap afterwards. In his nap, he dreamt of the last time he had sex with Phil. Phil had rimmed him slow and sweet, turning him into a moaning mess before fucking him gently, lovingly.

He was just about to get to the good part where Phil sucked him off while he came, but he suddenly woke up, panting and with a hard on.

Great. Dan groaned, he didn’t know when Phil was coming back since he never seemed to care to update Dan anymore, so he didn’t know how long he’d have to wait to get some relief from Phil. He thought about his dream and felt a mix of anger and lust. It’s been a month since they last had sex. A month since he got an orgasm, which is the longest he ever went without an orgasm since he moved in with Phil.

Then Dan got an idea. He already broke a rule in the morning, breaking another wouldn’t hurt. It’s not like Phil would find out anyway. Dan got out of bed and rushed to the couch in the lounge.

Perfect. It’s always been his favourite place to grind against until Phil placed the rule. The armrest especially gave the perfect amount of friction he needed. He hurriedly pushed his pants down and began humping the side of the couch.

It felt so good, he didn’t even care that he was breaking a rule. So what if he was? Phil doesn’t need him anymore. He’d be thrown out either way, so he should at least get some relief before meeting his fate.

Dan moved his hips urgently, feeling orgasm pool inside him. But tears suddenly blurred his vision as his thoughts drifted to Phil. This is all your fault, he thought. So stupid for falling for your owner. What kind of freak. Your fault, breaking your own heart like this. Now you gotta resort to humping against the couch for pleasure. Fucking pathetic.

Phil found Dan humping the couch. What on earth? First he refused to eat, now this? Breaking two rules in one day isn’t like Dan at all.

“Your fault, this is your own fault,” Dan kept muttering between sniffles, hips thrusting randomly even though he’d already come. It wasn’t even a satisfying orgasm, he was too caught up in his thoughts. He didn’t hear Phil enter the room either.

“Dan!” Phil shouted, and Dan stumbled away from the couch in surprise.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Phil scolded.

Dan responded with a sob. He looked downright miserable, with his ears turned down and his tail limp behind him. Phil shook his head in disapproval.

“Don’t think looking like that will gain you sympathy points,” Phil reprimanded, “So are you going to explain to me why you’re misbehaving so much today?”

Dan looked at the floor. It was hard enough to accept the fact that he was no longer valuable in this place, why did Phil have to make him say it?

“It’s been a month since I got off,” he weakly argued instead.

“Well then you could’ve asked me to help you out!” Phil said exasperatedly.

“Pfft, as if you would,” Dan huffed.

Phil’s eyes widened in disbelief at what he heard.

“I’ve had it with your attitude today, Daniel,” he growled, “I let you off without a punishment this morning, but looks like I shouldn’t have.” 

Phil grabbed Dan’s arm, ignoring his yelp of protest. Dan sobbed loudly as he was dragged into the bedroom. Phil pulled out his cage from the closet and Dan whimpered at the sight of it. He could count the number of times he’d been in there with only one hand because he was a good neko who rarely got punished. But he hated the times he’d spent in there.

“You’re going to stay in here until you’ve come back to your senses, and until you finally decide to properly talk to me,” Phil stated.

Phil tutted when Dan looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Honestly, what’s gotten in to you, Dan? I come back early from work to get ready for my one month anniversary dinner with Adam but now I gotta waste time cleaning your cum off the furniture!”

Phil pointed at the cage, and Dan’s shoulders drooped in defeat. There was no point in arguing. Dan started to feel guilty for his actions, ruining his Master’s anniversary in such an unpleasant way. His Master was a good man who didn’t deserve him, no matter how much Dan loved him. He wasn’t cruel, he was only trying to discipline him. So, Dan crawled into the cage with his tail hung between his legs.

Phil locked the cage. It was big enough for Dan to sit up and lay curled up. Phil was nice enough to always include a bowl of water and a small pillow and blanket in there.

Muttering in annoyance, Phil left the room to clean Dan’s mess. He then came back to get dressed for his dinner, never once looking at Dan despite his whining and whimpering. He left without a word, and Dan was surprised to find that he still hadn’t run out of tears.

Dan didn’t expect Phil to come home soon, in fact he was prepared for Phil to spend the night at Adam’s. It was obviously the better option than bringing Adam back here to see a miserable, useless neko in the room. But Dan told himself that he deserved it. He deserved having to spend the night in the cage, deserved being abandoned, deserved everything for being so naive and careless by falling for his owner.

After spending the night trying not to drown in all his negative thoughts and failing, he finally exhausted himself enough to go to sleep. His rest was short-lived however, as Phil actually returned a while later.

He quickly sat back up when he heard footsteps padding towards the room. He listened for a second pair of footsteps, but it seemed like Phil was alone.

He squinted when the lights were turned on, and blinked as he looked up. Phil was staring at him from the doorway, and Dan’s heart ached when he saw the look of disappointment on Phil’s face.

“I’ll have you know,” Phil talked lowly as he approached Dan, “Adam invited me over to his place after dinner but I could never leave you overnight like this.”

Dan didn’t understand. Why, why would Phil rather go back to a dumb neko than spend his anniversary night at his partner’s place? But his heart ached further at the knowledge that Phil actually cared enough to come back for him. He was a merciful Master who wouldn’t leave his pet in a cage for even a night, even though it was common to let nekos spend their whole sad lives caged up. Dan whimpered, Phil was making it harder for him to leave this privileged life and start a new one with some heartless owner.

Phil crouched down to be eye level with Dan. “You ready to talk to me now?” he questioned.

Dan nodded pitifully, sniffling. Phil unlocked the cage, but Dan didn’t move. He remained sat cross legged near the entrance. He did start speaking, though.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Phil asked. When he saw that Dan wasn’t going to move, he sat cross legged at the cage door, facing Dan.

“Why’d you come back when- when you could’ve spent the night with your. Your boyfriend? Why d-do you still care about me? Y-you’re making it harder for me!” Dan stuttered, unable to stop himself from crying again.

“Harder for you? I don’t understand, Dan. Of course I still care about you,” Phil spoke softly, brows furrowed in confusion. He wanted to hug Dan, but Dan didn’t look like he wanted any physical contact in that moment.

“Stop,” Dan sniffled, “just st-stop pretending already, I know I’m. I’m just a slave and. I’m a useless one and- and. Does no one want to buy me? Is that why? Nobody wants to take me off your hands?”

Phil was stunned by what he just heard. “Dan...” he began, but Dan wasn’t finished.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he stopped crying; it was easy when he finally accepted his fate, “Sorry because I tried to be a good pet for you, but I wasn’t good enough. Sorry I’m just wasting your space and time here now. Sorry for making you care for me even though you don’t need me anymore.”

“Dan-”

“I’m sorry you have to spend your anniversary night here, with a lousy neko. I should spend the night in the cage, it’s what I deserve,” Dan continued, speaking so fast he lost his breath.

He paused and looked up into Phil’s eyes, and was surprised to see that Phil was tearing up.

“Dan,” Phil shook his head and gently placed his hand on Dan’s shoulder, “listen here. I love you, Dan. Okay, it may not be the same way I love Adam, but I still love and care for you so much. You are still more important to me than he is, even if it’s our anniversary. You think you’re being replaced by Adam? No, honey, no. You’ll never be replaced, I’ll never sell you off, understand?”

Phil stroked Dan’s cheek, and the touch calmed Dan slightly as he leaned into it.

“And you don’t deserve to be punished for longer than necessary, okay, no neko deserves that. Nekos don’t deserve to be slaves, and I’d never take advantage of you or treat you as just a servant. You are a good pet, you’re my good pet. I may not need you to “serve” me anymore, but I still want you. Your personality, your company. Your warmth, the way your dimples appear when I make you smile. I still want all of that, how could I ever throw all of that away- throw you away?”

Dan had slowly moved to sit in Phil’s lap as Phil spoke. Phil cradled Dan and swayed them slowly, feeling Dan’s tail wrap around his waist.

“You’re amazing, Dan. And I’m sorry, too. I’m so sorry for neglecting you the past month. I’m sorry for not sharing with you about Adam sooner, I should’ve eased you into it instead of just breaking the news to you the way I did. I haven’t been the best owner recently, but I promise I’ll take care of you. Just because Adam’s in the picture now doesn’t mean I would forget you.”

Dan smiled for the first time since he knew about Adam, and Phil was happy to see his dimples again. Dan looked up at Phil, his eyes glimmering with adoration. Phil smiled back and kissed his forehead.

“If you’re not fond of Adam, I understand. But I hope you’ll warm up to him. He really likes you, you know?” Phil said hopefully.

“He does? Even though I never talked to him?” Dan said, amused.

“Mm-hmm,” Phil nodded vigorously.

Six months later

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

“Mmphh,” Dan groaned, curling around the warm body next to him tighter.

“It’s your turn to make breakfast!”

“Urghhh why can’t Adam do it!” Dan grumbled, headbutting the shoulder next to him.

“Hey, ‘twas your idea to make it a taking turns thing,” Adam mumbled and pulled the blanket over his head.

Phil chuckled at the sight before him. He would’ve just made breakfast himself, but Dan had insisted that every chore around the house should be done in turns just so he could still feel useful. Even though Phil assured him plenty of times that he was more than okay with having Dan just be the lazy and cute pet in their little family.

After a few more minutes, Dan got up and stumbled his way to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and let his mind wonder. Life is good. He may not be legally free of his slave status, but he is fortunate enough to live with not just one but two Masters who treat him with respect, shower him with love and care and spoil him more than any neko owner out there would.

Dan learned that his purpose in life wasn’t what the training centre brainwashed him into thinking. He wasn’t meant to merely be a servant, he was meant to bring happiness into his little family, to love and be loved. Just because he wasn’t doing what his status requires him to, it doesn’t mean he was of no use; he can still be cherished.

Sure, Phil may not love him the same way he loved Adam, but Phil still loved him and that was enough for Dan. He kept his promise on taking care of him and never leaving him. Dan felt so grateful to have him in his life.

He walked out of the bathroom and saw Adam still sleeping, his boxers still on the floor where it was thrown carelessly the previous night before they had sex. Dan smiled at the memory. He’d learned that the only thing more fun than pleasuring his Master, is getting to pleasure two Masters.

He entered the kitchen and saw Phil leaning against the counter, playing some game on his phone while waiting for the kettle to boil. Phil looked up when he heard Dan come in.

“Finally, you’re up!” Phil exclaimed, “I was about to just make breakfast myself.”

“You know you’re not supposed to do that! It’s my turn,” Dan tried to sound grouchy, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“G’mornin,” Phil smiled back and kissed Dan’s forehead.

Technically, Dan is Phil’s - and now Adam’s - slave. But Dan is also the luckiest neko in the world.

I originally wanted to end it with angst where Dan actually does get sold off but. I can’t imagine Phil to be that heartless haha and I don’t like sad endings either so yay for happy ending ^^

[softcorehippos]

Finish Line

(gif is mine)

Pairing: Racer!Steve Rogers x Reader (AU)

Summary: Two time Formula One champion Steve Rogers faced one of his worst fears during his race in Austin, TX.

A/N: I dont know what this is, okay, this had been stuck in my head for days ever since I found out that Sebastian Vettel is having a kid and ahhhhh I just really need to get it out of my system. Sorry for so many racing terms I chuck in there. 

You got this.

The fast beating of his heart drowned the loud noises outside of his team motorhome. Steve stood in front of the mirror, hands gripping the side of the sink tightly until his knuckles turned white as he tried to ease off the panic that was building up inside him.

You’ve driven this course a million times, this is your turf, you know this course like the back of your hand.

He looked up and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Despite being very well rested, Steve never felt more drained in his life. The crippling anxiety that was slowly building up was taking every ounce of energy he saved for the race and now, half an hour before the start of the race, Steve was still cooped up inside his motorhome, trying to shake off the uneasiness.

A soft knock was heard and Steve immediately stood up straight, with one last look at himself in the mirror, Steve walked out of the bathroom and opened the door.

“It’s time.” Steve’s assistant, Maria Hill was standing outside the motorhome with a headset on her neck.

Steve nodded. “I’ll be right out, give me fifteen minutes.”

She agreed and went on her way.

Steve sat down on the carpeted floor of the “living room” and began his pre-race ritual of light stretching and meditation. He started with three good things that he was thankful for, then he reflected on three things he could improve on and finished with the three positive things he would like to do in the future. Steve then finished his meditation with three deep breaths to calm his nerves.

When he opened his eyes, it was like a switched had been flipped and Two-Time-Formula One-World-Champion Steve Rogers was back. After his meditation, Steve went to put on his racing suit, Stark Racing was embroidered front and center with large silver lettering, and exited the motorhome with confidence.

As he made their way to his car, Steve passed the other team’s motorhome, seeing that his was parked on the furthest side of the track.

“Hey Rogers! Heard from Nat the missus tagged along, isn’t she due soon?” Clint Barton, the driver for SHIELD Racing Team jogged up to him.  

“Yeah, she insisted on coming, you know I can’t say no to her.” He joked to Clint, but God knows he was a nervous wreck.

Against all medical and personal advice, you decided to tag along with Steve for his race in Austin, Texas, despite being 37 weeks pregnant. Since there’s only one Formula One approved race track in the United States, this is the only opportunity for you to actually see him race in person, and knowing that the baby is due soon, this probably would be the last time you could tag along for a while.

You argued with Steve that since your pregnancy had been relatively low risk, you were confident that everything would be alright, plus the fact that you’d be travelling in a private jet, courtesy of team owner, Tony Stark.

Steve was adamant in making you stay in Brooklyn, but when you bust out the puppy dog eyes, Steve knew he was done for. The only thing he could do was making sure that you had someone taking care of you, so he had his mom, Sarah, flown out as well.

“It’s a hot one today, don’t forget to drink up.” Sam Wilson, the team manager patted Steve in the back as he walked towards his blue, red and white car, starting in pole position.

“So far there’s only fifteen percent chance of rain, so we should be alright.” Sam looked up from his tablet and Steve nodded.

“Any word on Y/N? She should be here by now.” Steve asked Maria.

“Not yet, but don’t worry, she’s probably waiting until you start, it’s really hot in here.” She smiled before returning to her post down in the paddock.

Steve closed his eyes and stood by his car, one hand on the sleek body of the open wheel singles eater and the other perched on his hip. Steve knew that he couldn’t afford to be distracted so he made a choice to believe what Maria said, you’re probably just running late to avoid waiting in the humid temperature for a long period of time.

“Five minutes to the start and it looks like it’s going to be a hot one folks, and I’m not talking about the weather. With only six more races to the end of the season, things are heating up down at the track, everybody is bringing their A-game. The championship points have never been this close folks, with Maximoff and Rogers tied for the championship title, followed by Barnes closely behind them.” Chief commentator Allen spoke excitedly through the speakers.

“I agree, I have never seen a season this competitive before and I was here when Michael Schumacher was at the top of his game! Although I have to say, things are going to be really interesting today if we look at the free-running practice session on Friday and the qualifying on Saturday. Maximoff had an unscheduled gearbox change and that’s going to cause him a few grid position because of the penalty.”

“Yes, that is unfortunate, but who knows? Maybe he will pull a classic Maximoff move and climb up to first place? After all, the fans doesn’t call him Quicksilver for nothing.”

“You got that right Allen, but can we talk about the pole-sitter, our very own Steve Rogers, his first outing since the news broke that he is going to be a father!”

“You’re absolutely right, Chris, this has been a very positive weekend for Rogers as he placed on the top of the grid through three qualifying sessions! That is one hell of a car.”

“One hell of a driver too!”

Five minutes to the start, Steve zipped up his racing suit, slipped on his helmet and neck protector and got into his car, the crew began to disperse from the track and went back to their respective team paddock. Steve, with his helmet visor slightly opened, began his breathing exercises to calm down the nerves that were threatening to take over again.

Steve still hadn’t heard anything from you and although he was consciously trying to stay focused, you stayed in his head and he kept going over what possible reason you were still not at the track yet.

He was so distracted that he completely missed the five red lights going off and missed the start by .03 seconds.

“Oooh! Rogers stalled! He stalled on the starting grid! He’s going to pay for that in the first corner–LOOK! LOOK! He’s sandwiched between Barnes and Odinson!”

“Terrible start from the Stark driver, I guess the Man with a Plan is going off his game today.”

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Steve cursed loudly inside his helmet as he tried to maneuver himself around Bucky and Thor so he could come out of the tight first corner ahead of them.

Amidst all the chaos of the start, Steve’s mind had gone haywire and he was acting purely on autopilot, something that he knows to be incredibly dangerous especially when the car is going 230 mph. In a split second, the front wing of Steve’s car got caught in Bucky’s left tire and the carbon fiber snaps in half, sending Steve’s car spinning out of the track and into the gravel.

“FUCK!” Steve yelled again, banging his fist into the steering wheel.

“AND HE’S OUT! STEVE ROGERS IS OUT!”

Steve’s heart was beating out of his chest, his breath was short and rapid and the overwhelming mix of anger, frustration and fear nearly sent him over the edge. After being in the racing scene for more than twenty years, Steve has had his share of crashes and each time, he walked away braver, stronger and more fearless. This time, however, he felt something that he’s never felt before, he was afraid of dying. That moment his car slid onto the gravel, all he could think about was you and the baby, what he will be leaving behind if something fatal would’ve happened.

It wasn’t until Sam spoke through the team radio, calming him down.

“Yellow flag, they’re sending the safety car out. This is your time to go to the pit and get that nose fixed, you can still catch up if you go now.”

Hearing that, Steve quickly snapped out of his thoughts and gently squeezed on the gas pedal to get better traction so he could get out of the gravel area.

He realized that it is better that he pushed you away from his thoughts than to have himself distracted and potentially putting himself in harms way. When he rejoined the other cars, Steve was in 16th place with only 50 laps to go, to a lot of the drivers, that was meant the end of the line, there was no recovering from that, but Steve Rogers was not one to give up.

Lap after lap, Steve climbed up the position, taking over each and every driver. He was so in tune with his self and his car, with his goal set on overtaking whoever was in front of him, that he doesn’t realize that he had crossed the finished line.

Steve parked his car in the parc fermé, where the drivers who placed top three would gather before celebrating their victory up on the podium. His heart was still beating fast, his entire body was drenched in sweat but he couldn’t feel anything. He was numb, but it was a good numb. He knew he had done his best and he was proud of it. Steve’s eyes scanned the crowd where the pit crews gathered, he would always find you standing front and center by the barricade, only this time, he was met with a very concerned looking Maria Hill.

“Steve, it’s Y/N.”

“You need to let me in! Right now!” Steve’s voice boomed throughout the hallway of the otherwise quiet hospital.

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to calm down or I will call security.” The nurse stood her ground, completely unaffected by Steve.

His head hung low. “I just… Please let me see her, I’m her husband! I need to see her!”

The nurse turned around to talk to an orderly and he stood up, motioned for Steve to follow him.

“Come this way, sir.” Steve, accompanied by Maria Hill went down the empty hallway and stopped when they reach the number 107.

“I don’t know if she’s come to yet, it was a pretty rough one from what I heard. Be very gentle and try not to make her move so much, she might still be groggy from the anesthesia.” The orderly gave them a reassuring smile before going back to the nurse’s station.

“It’s gonna be okay, I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Maria squeezed his bicep and with one big breath, Steve slowly opened the door to your hospital room. He was immediately welcomed with a sight that made his heart hurt, you were lying with your eyes closed, oxygen tube draped across your face and an IV line stuck to your left arm.

Steve silently dragged the empty chair by your bed and sat down, he fought the urge to grab your hand because he was afraid he’d wake you, so instead, he just prop his head on his hands and stare at you, until slowly the tears started coming.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” He took a shuddered breath. “I should’ve never let you go, I should’ve stayed by your side, I–“

“Stevie?” You fought what was left of the anesthesia to open your eyes and really made sure that you weren’t hallucinating, that Steve was actually there.

“Baby? Hey, I’m here, I’m here.” He stood up, brought his hands to your hair and stroked them gently. “I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t with you.”

You chuckled weakly through closed lids. “Yeah, you missed one hell of a fight. I know how much you like a good fight.”

Steve chuckled in disbelief. He couldn’t begin to fathom how, in your current state, could you still crack jokes.

“I’m really sorry.” Steve said again, but you shook your head.

“Stop it, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t’ve asked to come, it’s my fault.”

“N–“

The sound of the door opening caused you two to turn your heads towards the entrance and your tired features immediately lit up.

“I heard daddy’s here?” An older nurse came into the room, pushing a baby hospital bassinet, fully decorated with a pink blanket.

“Is that…? A girl?” Steve asked barely above whisper.

You nodded with a smile.

“Yeah, she just couldn’t wait to get out of me, tried to force her way out feet first.” You shook your head.

“Would you like to hold her?” The nurse smiled gently at Steve, who was wide-eyed at the question.

“It’s okay, you can do it. Just remember the lessons we took.” You encouraged Steve.

Gently, the nurse scooped up your baby up from her bassinet and transferred her to Steve’s arms. He was clearly overwhelmed and terrified of the fact that he was now holding your newborn baby in his arms, but it quickly went away and you saw just how natural Steve was with your baby girl.

The nurse excused herself to let you and Steve have your private time and after feeling more and more confident, Steve stood up and joined you on the bed with your daughter in his arms.

“She’s beautiful.” Steve whispered. “Just like her Ma.”

“Are we still going with the name?” You asked, leaning against Steve’s bicep.

“Well, she looks like a Margaret, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she does look like a Peggy.”  

Steve let out a sigh of content, couldn’t take his eyes off your beautiful daughter; he studied each and every little thing, burning it permanently into his memory.

You opened your eyes suddenly. “Wait, I forgot to ask, did you win?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Nah, third place. My head was kinda in the wrong place, something just doesn’t feel right. I didn’t even get the trophy, I just drove straight here.”

You frowned, feeling your eyelids getting heavier and heavier before saying, “Aw, I’m sorry you didn’t win baby.”

Steve glanced at you, who were already asleep, and to your daughter, before smiling and whispered softly. “No, I did, I won big time.”

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