#And there’s 12 year olds doing better than me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theraddestfemalive · 8 months ago

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im not even a trans woman and i look so fucking horrendous and ugly. im neurodivergent as fuck so i don’t know how to take care of my body properly without forgetting or my interests getting in the way. At the age i was supposed to be my prettiest, my shitty dominican dna cursed me with an ugly mustache, slow metabolism, facial acne, and like the ugliest boobs I’ve ever seen. I fucking despise my dad for putting me through so much for that alone, and he doesn’t even come around to help. He avoids paying my mom child support (which i need btw because im ND and I want to get lessons and actual good clothing)

In all due seriousness, all of the other girls my age are literally in normal schools and passing their shit with flying colors while developing a few talents. I can’t even complete regular tasks and im in a school full of weirdos and a boy that i used to like but stopped after finding out how fucking ugly he looked and how much he objectified me (he had a p0rn addiction, had a b3lly fetish, and is basically the corniest dude on earth, even my mom doesn’t like him)

I hate my heritage for giving me such a disadvantage, not only genetic wise, but also economically. (my dad was an immigrant, and my mom’s parents were too.)

It’s just every time i try to be better i look r3t4rd3d as fuck and i feel as if god as a whole entity is trying to hold me back from achieving my goals because I’m destined to be inferior to everyone

I don’t know how people (ESPECIALLY WHITE PRIVILEGED REGULAR PEOPLE) always argue that they’re a certain complicated form of a “gender” trying to find reasons to be mad when there’s an obvious fact that im literally the ugliest girl in the world.

If there’s a god, why did they give me this ugly body as a teenage girl? Eh? Did my stupid personality completely align with how im supposed to look? Why do all of the radfems and non radfems have pretty bodies but im just a slab of fucking cells? I literally got made fun of in a discord server for the way my boobs look and every other girl gets to be pretty with perfectly round and perky ones.

anyways, sorry for the vent. I’m just so frustrated with how I look and how normal every kid around me is. If I wasn’t so ugly, I wouldn’t be attracting the weirdest fucking creeps ever.

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firstroseofspring · 1 year ago

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b’elanna vs her mother at similar ages, plus some sketches!

#my art #star trek voyager #my very first deanna…. my original obsession. if i ever read as much about betazoids as i do klingons we’re all in grave danger #also wrt the first image b'elanna is. 12 years old and as such is about to go emo mode but not quite yet. the girly girl thing is a front #sometime in winter she'll chop her hair off without permission #what do we think? human girl look to fit into the image her father has while he's still around or after to try and get him back?#miral is also a little bookish like b'elanna but on different subjects.... likes to keep to herself naturally but is also loudmouthed and #got told she shared her opinion too often a lot in university. didn't stop her though she speaks up when she thinks (knows) she's right #what did she study? don't ask me my answer changes with the weather #botany....linguistics.....military strategy.....chemistry....... uhmmmm religious studies. or even better the klingon system doesn't have #starfleet equivalents and she spent ages 15-22 doing apprenticeships for a certain (or multiple) disciplines #anyway.#kessik 2352 b'elanna has trouble sitting still for photos until she gets a little older so all the pics from before 7 are of her father #physically holding her so that she won't wander OR off guard shots or super blurry. theres more videos of that time than anything

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kairithemang0 · 5 months ago

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I'll forever be that horny 12 year old boy I never got to be <3

#life would've been so much better if i was a bitchy cishet man #i would've been so homophobic it's not even funny #like i know myself and i know if i was a cishet guy yall would hate me more than you already do #i'd be the worst kind of 12 year old boy

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jrueships · 1 year ago

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Kawhi+paul georp

PAUL GEORP

#pg is the big spoon in public bcs it prevents ppl from talking to kawhi as he is currently preoccupied with cuddles #but during the night after pg is done gaming he crawls into bed and into kawhis arms after kawhi puts his crossword down #they are so old with their love.. and yet.. so young #no one knows how or why they are married. they just are #kawhi and paul are like an anemone and a clownfish to me #i refuse to elaborate #pg/kawhi #THANK U for this ask i love them #I AM STILL DOING THESE SO FEEL FREE TO SEND MORE!!! they just take longer than they should bcs i love to yap unfort #CLICK ON DA IMAGES TO SEE BETTER PLS!!!! my writing is crap 😭#i love calling paul george paul georp.. it's so befitting #ted tumbunity things #pg: *climbing and squirming into kawhis arms all huffy*#kawhi hugging him: did another 12 year old kill you again honey .#pg: i DON'T WANNA tALK aBouT iT #pg: ....#pg: ...yes >:[ .#kawhi: aww my poor koala bear . *kisses his tiny forehead better*#pg: clearly he was cheating. but whatever 😾 . *kisses kawhis neck then tries to reach the light but his finger is too small*#kawhi has to get it for him with a chuckle

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doctormastertardis · 8 months ago

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Another personal take on today's Neo-liberalism-- how IT is the OTHER SIDE OF THE SAME COIN AS ALT-RIGHT WINGERS (ya know how "new age spirituality" is now becoming synonymous with CULTURAL APPROPRIATION and ABUSE APOLOGISM and NO ONE IS BATTING AN EYE ABOUT IT)....

Just saw a post from a "trans person" about how it's "ableism" to call out an abusive person who is IN THE HIGHER SPECTRUM OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER because "being a narcissist is a mental disorder"... are you fucking kidding me???

(fyi, mirroring is a form of MALEVOLENT manipulation - mirroring is something that a lot of ABUSIVE people in the HIGHER SPECTRUM OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER DO TO HARM OTHERS).

And I just smdh.... reactive liberalism will excuse anything these days.

...reminds me of American/"Western" kids who are groomed to think being "trans" is about ASSIMILATING to the hetero-normative PERSPECTIVE AND EXPECTATIONS of GENDER EXPRESSION.

it's the same type of oppressive heteronormativity???? (this is why I don't vibe with folks who say shit like "the youth today are kinder" -- NO THEY ARE NOT. they've become more SKILLED at mimicking societal conventions).

OPPRESSION TODAY HAS BECOME MORE INSIDIOUS.

Y'all really need to stop thinking in BINARY.

Just because someone's gay, doesn't mean they can't be racist, or classist, or oppressive??? Just like, just because someone adheres to the identity politics of "latinidad" or any other "non-white" identity doesn't mean they're "progressive"????

(I used to run decolonizeyourself.tumblr.com and decolonizeyourselfarchive.tumblr.com)

....Just because some "westerner" identifies as "trans" doesn't mean they know shit-all about "ableism"!

Please stop throwing around the word "ableism" whenever folks talk about ABUSE that are coming from a person with NPD.

#ya know how autism is a spectrum #NPD is also a spectrum #except there have been over 50+ years of studies on NPD also as a CULTURAL PHENOMENA #it is a direct PSYCHOLOGICAL “result” of coloniality #and when people think it's “ableist” to IDENTIFY an abusive person's behavior as “narcissistic” - YALL essentially are DEFENDING ABUSE!#systemic abuse!!!!#I was a behavior technician before #the difference between those who need ASSISTANCE in the BASIC function of societal interactions VS. those in the “higher function” spectrum #NOT the same as NPD where those in the “higher spectrum” are more likely to be MALEVOLENT #it is NOT ableism to call out an abusive person for being NARCISSISTIC #reminds me of a friend who used to say “kids today are BETTER PEOPLE than KIDS in the past”#and I was like MY MOM WAS BORN IN 1944 AND MY DAD in 1933 AND THEY never adhered to heteronormativity #ive met YOUNG KIDS TODAY in their early 20s who are all about ~lgbt~ but would perpetuate HETERONORMATIVITY #when my mom was working at a fried chicken place at AGE 60 a bunch of 12 year old Latina kids came in twice to make fun of her accent #and how “dirty” she was.... so are any of you understanding that AGE AND GENERATION DO NOT DICTATE SOMEONE'S “bigotry”????#my mom and dad were actual “progressives” at age 60-90 than most American kids who CLAIM TO BE LIBERAL at age 20????#like even as a 30+ adult I have had LATINAS in their 20s w/ gay and trans friends who would be RACIST AND CLASSIST AND MISOGYNISTIC TO ME?

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swagging-back-to · 9 months ago

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people who look down on GEDs are repulsive filth actually <3

#'it's better than a GED' she says about someone who stayed in highschool till they were 21 years old #'no wonder you couldnt graduate highschool and had to get a ged you have horrible reading comprehension'#neither of these things were said about me but they were said in front of me. one of these people knew i have a GED.#it took me 12 days to get my GED vs 12 years fucking around in highschool.#I failed almost every single class in highschool yet when i took the GED i scored 18-20 on every single test. this is OUT of 20. 20 being #college-level understanding.#highschool is a major waste of time and guess what... some kids genuinely need to drop out to take care of their families #to get jobs. to babysit. to care for their grandparents #you are so incredibly classist when you look down on GEDs. bc guess what? employers do not care.#colleges do not care.#no one fucking cares.#and if they do? they dont need the time of day #or really even oxygen. bc theyre wastes of space <3 #hope this helps

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rebellum · 2 months ago

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intrigued by people who feel like psychiatric medication made them feel like they were losing their personality or who they were

like.. what does that feel like? what does that severity of mental illness feel like?

because for me it felt like there WASNT really a me

like I was just a bundle of nerves and trauma and hallucinations bundled up into a whirlwind shepherd's scale of insanity

and it was when I got meds that I could be like. oh yeah. I have emotions that arent sadness, boredom, and fear. sunshine can feel good on my skin? i can wake up and NOT immediately despair that I'm still alive? I can go throughout my day without managing the baby spiders crawling on me and the monster in the closet and how I'm one sock choice away from my family being killed by demons?

so I suppose it's like, a difference in experience of mental illness, that causes 'I am ME when off my meds, and i feel different but not like me when im on meds' vs

#maybe also a difference in onsettime as well?#like adolensce is an important part of discovering who you are #and i half lost mine to mental illness #like i didnt get to do the whole 'emotionally maturing' thing until my 20s #18 year old me was just a 12 year old me who knew better than to ghost people and better 'knew' to scrunch myself up and hide who i am

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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months ago

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#kind of hate when students come back and they’re like ‘sorry I was sooooooooooooo bad in your class’#obviously I hate it if it’s just sort of a chance for them to just yap about how bad they were/glorify their bad behavior #but sometimes I hate it even when they’re sincere sksskjsjsjsj #like I know it’s a good thing and I should be glad but I’m not glad #I’m just like ‘fuck off’ (I do not say that. EVER)#but it’s just. ughhhhhhh #so much of the job is ignoring their bad behavior as much as you can #not like. not having good classroom management but just. in your own mind!!!! don’t give it all this power!!!!!!#I hate those posts that are like ‘why did my grown ass teacher have beef with a 12 year old’ because my loyalty is to the teacher #and it’s like. well middle school classrooms are war zones sometimes so give the teacher a break. but there’s a certain truth to that!!!!!#you can’t take the behavior seriously in your own mind. I think that’s it #so when they come back and they’re like ‘I was terrible for you I regret my immaturity’#I know it’s a good thing for them and probably inevitable for most of them (the being teenagers of it all) and I’m sure ultimately #that it’s a testimony to my class. but it makes me wince so much. because I set the tone so decisively and part of how you do it is just by #like. believing everyone’s having a great time. and kids being like ‘I was a monster from #the deeps of hell’ seems to contradict that #and always drives me to question myself even though I probably shouldn’t and i need to just chill #some of it is just my own vulnerability or insecurity #I’m hoping it lessens with time? because my first couple of classes of course that’s what was happening #because they WERE bad. and they were worse than they usually were cause they wanted to see if they could get away with it #and did they? I mean yeah probably a lot more than they should have bc I was brand new!#anyways I’m just rambling. but yeah I don’t like it.#like please just leave me alone.#(I hate most kinds of intake tbh. because I always have to do something with all of it—intellectually emotionally)#(I can never just rest. the mind is sorting and processing) it’s like when it comes to teaching #the more things I can shut my eyes to the better #I’ve come a long way with knowing what of the things my students say to ignore than I used to #bc actually they’re innocent babies who are just yapping! Cause they don’t know what else to do yet.

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arts-i-enjoy · 11 months ago

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AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

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mzcain27 · 1 year ago

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Finished the live action avatar

It’s not a perfect adaptation, I think the biggest thing is they have taken a lot of the fun out of it, Aang doesn’t wanna go do kid stuff, Iroh is way more serious, BUT I don’t necessarily blame like the series itself as much as I blame the current state of tv being in constraints of like 8 episodes and wanting people to binge it in the first few days and everything.

I hope they let Azula be as scary as possible next season, I think they just wanted her introduced a bit earlier since everyone was gonna be waiting for it, I hope they let Iroh chill out a bit more, but in general from my point of view if you see people bashing this series with as much vitriol as the movie then they’re being super dramatic. There are parts that could absolutely be better but like I said those issues go hand in hand with issues with all of tv right now. I think it’s decent at least, I know it’s a beloved series but some people are being HARSH

#bring back filler and characters just hanging out #and stop expecting people to watch shit in the first 30 seconds before you cancel it #for reference I think it’s a better adaptation than the new Percy Jackson tbh #same kinda vibes in the exposition dumps and kinda treating the audience like idiots but avatar just slightly bumps above percy for me #other minor issues are the acting at times but some of those times are literal children #a lot of people seem pissed at the zuko portrayal but season one zuko is dramatic af a lot of the time #and I think Dallas Liu just turned that up a bit and made him angrier which I’m not mad at #I wish katara was a little snarkier I saw someone mention her rage being kind of hamstrung and they were kinda right #it’s not entirely gone but it’s not there as much as I’d like #cgi is kinda whack at times too but that’s everything atm as well not avatar specific #the martial arts pretty good too esp fire bending they still clearly took from Shaolin kinda styles #I do wish they’d speed aang up a bit though #both in general but also stop using slow mo when he’s doing shit #anyway #I’m not super mad at it #if they don’t fuck up toph and do some better characterising of azula and iroh we might actually see it to the end #and some more episodes for like actual development but I feel like that’s wishful thinking with Netflix rn #even like 10-12 would be better and then sokka could’ve had his development with the Kyoshi warriors #and aang can show more of his reluctance and fear because he’s a twelve year old pacifist #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar live action #atla

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clowningaroundmars · 1 year ago

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going thru my vocaloid phaassssee ✌🏼 AGAIN

12 yo me would be lowkey proud rn

#clown horn #guys but nah holy shit #cuz im re-discovering all of my old vocaloid faves and this shit STILL slaps 14 years later man WOW #dye by luka goodbye mr. remember by miku........ BOY #and the remixes? nah bruh dont even get me started on those #til this VERY DAY the future retro remix of love is war BANGS idc what anyone says #my taste in music was simply impeccable #12 yo mars had every single right to be as pretentious as she was if im gonna be QUITE honest #im recollecting these songs and adding them to a playlist like i SHOULD have done years ago #welp #better late than never ig lol #and god bless these mostly dead youtube accounts that used to do nothing but repost shit from niconicodouga #may yall be prosperous in your endeavors 4eva and always ♡

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posallys · 2 years ago

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the desire to transfer is SO strong. literally if only it would've been like this in january....i would've submitted applications for the fall but now i have to wait until fall 24 and honestly at that point it's not even worth it im going to jump off a bridge 🧍‍♀️

#i hate it here but also literally every prof in the bio department is like:#'you wanna go to an ivy for ur phd? we'll make that happen'#so like...maybe here i can finesse the system to work for me and get further than i would transferrng??#idk i just don't think i can put up with the people here anymore like jfc do you just not have common sense or critical thinking skills #i stg my 12 year old sister is better at both than 99% of the people at this fucking school

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halfricanloveyou · 2 years ago

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i actually hate the unedited version of this song because it sucks shit. this version is better because it is funny and it reminds me of this post. and it’s more fun to sing.

#literally every charlie puth song sucks shit #bland ass melody and music #uninteresting highly edited voice so you can’t tell what it actually really sounds like #garbage lyrics that are genuinely worse than a 14 year old with a D minus in english class could write #every single song sounds the exact same #the singer was obviously chosen for what he looks like #he’s a rich boy with rich parents who decided he wanted to be a musician so mommy and daddy made him famous #genuinely thinks he’s the best musician in the world #he said that ‘elton john’s music sucks.’#bro even if you don’t like it imagine thinking you’re so much better as a musician you can say elton john’s music sucks #bold words coming from an untalented hack that can’t do anything except sing with auto tune #and play the piano with the exact skill set of a 12 year old #yeah fuck charlie puth #charlie puth #‘you turn me on like a light switch when you’re moving your body around and around’#when his songs come on the radio i change the station immediately #one time he was playing on all three of the only pop ones we have #so i just turned my radio off #one time i listened to ads instead because i didn’t wanna listen to his shitty music #i’m a picky music fan and i am well aware that just because i din’t like a song doesn’t mean it sucks #so as someone with a degree in music i can safely and with all certainty say this.#charlie puth is bad.

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brielarsvns · 2 months ago

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#keep digging the hole deeper guess #and while we’re at it #thinking you’re inherently better than other people based on their interests it’s just like wow I don’t even have the words #wow I watch bluey and like Pokemon as an adult guess I’m a fucking invalid #for all the talk about sweeping generalization #you’re the biggest hypocrite in the world #and if we wanna talk about adults doing juvenile things I think you’re behaving like a petty 12 year old who isn’t getting his way #so suck on that bitch #also coming from the same man that left his vomit covered shirt in the kitchen for years #fucking hilarious #also honestly fucking ableism much gd #god forbid people have mental illnesses that don’t line up with my own #must mean they are the unproductive scum of society #also hilarious how you can be mad at me for saying you were being cruel when you literally self identify as a hater #I just- like how can you not see this it’s astounding to me

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anothermonikan · 2 months ago

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i have come to the conclusion that I'm not even lonely, like, I knew that I'm surrounded by friends every day. I am however, the neediest fucker alive, and feel it's unfair to push that on other people. god it's just 'Having wants and needs and hating it' again. can you believe this shit.

#the attention can't be on me all the time cmon. I am not The Most Important person in anyone's life #that concept is so dumb and amatonormative a lil. well to me #the problem lies in that other people probably. have that. I desire to be considered important in that way and I must KILL THAT!!!#idk how effective yelling to myself that 'my friends can have other friends that they do activities with that don't involve me'#'this does not mean they value you less as a being than them. different people have different qualities'#'and some people may be more equipped to handle certain tasks than you' is being #it feels so dumb like yes i'm not 12 years old jesus I know that #i have GOT to find a better affirmation.#you see I could just tell my friends that I actually have high positive affirmation needs #and actually like when they affirm that they do like me and like hanging out with me #and I actually need that so so often otherwise I start going insane #but like. that's not Fair on them. also it'd just feel like they're forcing it from that point on #...even tho if one of my friends told me that I would do it no hesitation fullheartingly #it's like. it's always gonna feel like the people around me are just barely tolerating my existence.#no matter how much I reason with myself about how that can't possibility be true. sigh #I can't have needs I'll defo get made fun of sdhsdhsdh #one day I will get so so brave (or drunk) and do it. but that day is not today #or anytime in the next like 2 weeks I have work to do #vent #a lil bit #android.txt

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malachitezmeyka · 4 months ago

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Just remembered I have to go back to school on Tuesday and I'm this close to actually fucking losing it

#ever since I fucked up my college application it feels like everything is just getting worse and worse #we're two months into the school year and I'm already so fucking done #I have no strength nor desire to out any actual effort in #everyone expects it of me. dad will actually fucking kill me if I don't deliver #but I can't #I've been doing this for 12 goddamn years #I was supposed to be done. by all accounts I'm meant to be done #I WAS done!! I have my diploma and everything!!!#I said that I'd never be a high schooler again #and look at me now #all because of one stupid mistake #I have no proof that life would be all sunshine and rainbows if I did get into college #probably wouldn't be #but it would be better than this #anything would be better than this #and even if I make it through this year. I still wouldn't be done. I have to go to university still #and that's another four years at least #and then work until I physically can't anymore...#what's the point? what's the point of anything?? this can't be all there is to life #it can't all be an uphill climb like this. when does it stop? when does it get easier? does it get easier at all?#right now it certainly seems that way #I don't think I'd be able to handle it if is. but I also don't think I have it in me to hang around until I'm proven wrong #what a sad existence huh. 18 years old and already wanting to die. having been wanting that for many years #I'm quite literally only still here because of my dog. I know everyone else will be alright eventually #but I have no idea what will happen to her. no one in my family would be able to take her. I can't just do that to her #she deserves better. even now. I'm an awful pet owner and she would have been better off with someone else #but she's my responsibility now. and as long as she's still breathing.. so will I #it's the least I can do for her. even if staying is unbearable. even if the mere thought of going to school makes me break down #I'm not even pushing on at this point. life is doing all the pushing. I have no idea where I'm headed but idc enough to fight against it #I'm not strong enough to convince myself I actually want to do something with my life. not again. not after last summer

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