#guys but nah holy shit

[clowningaroundmars]

going thru my vocaloid phaassssee ✌🏼 AGAIN

12 yo me would be lowkey proud rn

[shitpost-it-tristan]

Nah cAUSE I know, FELIX DIDNOTJUST— there AINT NO WAY.

The Fix-it Felix Jr fromthegame Fix-it Felix Jr. DID NOT call RalpH,

FUCKING B I G N O S E✋️💀

Nah cause Ralph, "B I G eArS" he didn't have to cALL HIM OUT LIKE THAT– cause nAH. Unprovoked,, Ralph out here– OHMYGOD.

RALPH wREcKING CONFIDENCE 🗣

the fucking grin,, the SHIT EATING GRIN! my smug ass, chUCKLING. Man I'm, sO PROUD OF MYSELF

Nah I'm not gonna lie, Felix caught that mug smOoThLy. But then— nah caUSE fIRST OF ALL, a- ✨️AUuGhh~✨️ nnO caUSE,,,,thE soUND. whYTHEFUCK,, MaN, his ass went "AaUuGhh~ BeLiEvE tHiS iS yOuRs."

Man, he's got the vibe, he's the dad that asks, "aRe Y'aLL rEaDy tO RoCk n' RoLL!?"👉👉 after paying the bill at a restaurant.

He would do the finger guns, and the "eheh I mAdE a fuNnY" tone. Man, the genuine grin, like he didn't just make 15 kids cringe. Oh god, the way he was cheering at the race. Homie out here, yel— nah he's not "yelling." He's WHOOPING and HOLLERING, Y'all see it too, right?? Oh man, I'm starting to think this is canon.

Did you guys hear him do the NESQUIKSAND NOISE, that shit caught me off guard! The EXACT same, "oUuGh-oH—"

I fully thought he wasn't going to catch the mug, man. He just got lucky catching the first one💀

[chadsuke]

Books Read in 2024:

Little Mushroom: Judgement Day by Shisi (2022)

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Vol. 1 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2021)

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Vol. 2 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (2022)

The Musician and the Monster by Jenya Keefe (2019)

A Deceptive Alliance by Sydney Blackburn (2018)

Cinder by Marissa Meyer (2012)

Claimed by the Orc Prince by Lionel Hart (2022)

The Witch King by H.E. Edgmon (2021)

The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish Vol. 2 by Xue Shan Fei Hu (2024)

[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]

[tuesday-is-a-good-day]

Maybe it was just the translation I read but I have no fucking idea what happened in Stormbringer except that these gay French dudes kidnapped a government experiment and then there was a robot and then a lot of things happened and now we’re here.

[demonsfate]

saw a fanart of jin smoking and whilst i don't think jin would compromise his health with smoking but like. he does have an oral fixation so.

[dkettchen]

I have discovered the youtube audio library y'all I will be unstoppable now

[island-in-the-shadows]

HOOOOOOLY SHIT

I AM NOT OK BUT IM OK BUT IM NOT OK BUT IM OK BUT IM NOT OK

THIS IS THE LORD'S SIGN TO GO TO SLEEP.

[yesyourstalker]

Mahi: hello?

Neta: Hey Mahi don't come into work today. Don't come into work tomorrow or the day after that.

Mahi: Why what's happening?

Neta: *sigh* turn on the news..... I swear it's always me.

News channel: salmonoids have invaded the barnacle and dime mall. We advise everyone to steer clear of the surrounding area. Volunteers and employees of the grizz-co company must arrive as soon as possible to fix the issue. We will keep you all updated on further information we'll receive. In other news is turf war...... ruining our kids education??

Mhai: holy shit!! The whole mall is flooded!!.... Thank fuck we're on the second floor!!

Neta: *sigh*.............. We're still going to get damaged..... The mall is going to smell like salmon shit for weeks........ Anyway I got to head out. I just got my slop suit.

Mahi: what you work for grizz-co??

Neta: No, I'm volunteering. I just want to protect my store! I work way too hard just for it to go-

Cirrina: Aunt Candi's here can we go?!

Neta: yeah I'm coming Sweetie! Yeah I got to head out. Bye.

_______________________________________________

Mahi: mizole babe, let's go.

Mizole: We're going to raid Neta's apartment?

Mahi: yep

* texting *

Mahi: Warabi get up our boss is not home let's break in

Warabi: can't Neta is making me do a shift at Grizz's I'm getting overtime

Mahi: :/ fine is Baja still there?

Warabi: you mean my boyfriend ;p <3

Mahi:..[typeing]..... [Typing].................. Yee

Warabi: no he's with me

Mahi:.... [Typing]........ [Typing]..... Ok

_______________________________________________

Mizole: you know I expected his place to be a lot shittier......

Mahi: Right? I expected it to be like some sort of depression cave or something.

Mizole: hmm.... So what do you do anyway when you're here?

Mahi: nothing much. Watch TV, play his Nintendo, eat his leftovers, go through his shit........ find some really nice stuff. I took a nice t-shirts and a pair of his old sneakers. They don't fit but they're really nice....... There's a lot of interesting stuff if you look for it.

Mizole:...........hm..... .. If I take the base do you think he's going to notice?

Mahi: put that down. I'm not planning on attending your funeral if you do something stupid.

Mizole: boooooo Mahi stop being such a killjoy I thought you said we can steal whatever we want.

Mahi: I meant stuff he won't miss!

Mizole: what's in this drawer- UH!.....uhhahahahahahahahha! how about this?! You think he'll notice this being gone?!

Mahi: *slams close* I didn't see that! I'm erasing that from my memory. lets go down stairs.

Mizole: hehehehe....I mean it'll be funny-

Mhai: SHUT UP!.......... I saw nothing!...... Let's go.

_______________________________________________

Mizole: *eating * so.......... Baja. I guess he's here to stay?

Mahi: ugh yeah.. I guess....... He got a job at the Annaki store and is planning on moving here. ..... Pffth

Mizole: Hey, I mean if we're lucky the salmons will destroy the mall and he'll be out of the job.

Mahi: I'll be out of the job too.

Mizole: you got me, don't you? Heheh.. [kiss]

Mahi: I want my own money.........

Mizole: you don't like Baja?

Mahi: It's not that I don't like him...I like him, he's cool. It's fun to boss him around and tell him what to do. Since he's getting close to Warabi....*eating* They're dating now.......... He's going to be around more often.

Mizole: knowing Warabi. It'll probably be 2 months

Mahi:hehe...... What if Baja wants to move in? We have to buy another mattress... He won't be next to me.. What if Warabi wants to move out again? I'll be here by myself........ again........ what if he forgets me and replaces me with Baja.? A taller better looking vers-

Mizole: *eating* Babe shut up that's not going to happen. Ok? Warabi loves you. He's not just going to replace you with that weenie. I mean look at him....... Look at him Mahi! You can punch him in the face and he'll probably apologize to you! You worry too much babe you'll be fine....... And besides if he moves out you can move in with me.

Mahi: really?... Are we really at that stage?

Mizole: I feel like we are. It's a nice upgrade too, an apartment to a big house in the hills. What do you think?

Mahi: .... ... That sounds nice...... really nice.............. nice big house... We need to keep them together.

Mizole:hahahahahaha.....

_______________________________________________

Warabi: okay, just jiggle the pick. I know there's like three notches annnnnd I.... got it! ..... I knew you guys were going to be here!

Baja: are you at least a little worried that he might find out about this?.......... Oh hello

Mahi: hey

Mizole: hm

Baja: you must mizole.... You're the front man of what floor!

Mizole: and?

Baja: I'm a big fan of yours. When Mahi told me that they were dating you. I was really excited to meet you. I've been following your work for a long time. I was a big fan of you when you were with 'the deep sea divers'

Mizole: Yeah I have a lot of fans that's what happens when you have a tale- you know about the deep sea divers?

Baja: yeah! I saw you guys playing at the conch shell club 8 years ago.... Your first rendition of undertow amazing. I mean I like the final cut of it but your first draft was art!

Mizole:.......... You actually like that?

Baja: yeah!... they had a lot of personality in it. Why did you change it? It was so rugged and aggressive now it's all polished now which I love but the original one had such character

Mizole:............... Wow.....uh.......*humph*. You know heh .... when I got signed to a label they wanted a specific genre and all that....hehehe..........* Inhale* ...... What's with the bag and why is it moving?

Baja: oh They're salmonoids. I got some during my volunteer shift at grizz-co. Got a lot of these little guys. I like to eat them raw.....*eating* I got them for you mahi ait tons of them during my shift.

Mahi: nice! Thanks I like to eat them raw too...*eating* They're juicer too

Warabi: *ugh* I can never get used to that.......Any of y'all know Neta 's finflixs password?

Mhai: bassbaba@86

_______________________________________________

Mahi: okay so what's the plot of this?

Warabi: okay, so it takes place during the great turf war. Two soldiers one inkling and one octoling who grew up together and are childhood best friends. And the story switches from backstory to backstory until it goes all the way to present day and then it all comes together during the end of the movie. It's really sad like it's so sad.

Baja: Oh I saw this... We had to watch it in school

Mizole: eh

Neta: Why are y'all in my apartment?!

Mahi: *eat* hey boss. you look like shit.......

Baja: AHHHHH... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told myself that I wouldn't do this again and I did it again. I'm really sorry I'm so sorry!

Mizole: would you get the fuck up! Stop kissing his ass. It's not going to do shit!

Neta:..................*sigh*........*moan*........... I can't do this today .....*sniff*...... What are you watching?

Warabi: 'war-torn brothers'

Neta: The one based off the book?

Warabi: yeah.....

Neta:............ Cici order something to eat and take a shower okay baby?

Cirrina: ok....You didn't go to my room did you?

Mizole/mahi: no

Cirrina: good Don't want your grody hands all over my stuff.......... Unless it's you baja hi!!

Baja: *waves*

Neta: I'm going to go take a nap......... Maybe have a nice hot bath first........Yeah that sounds nice.......... Nobody bother me and all y'all need to get out of my place by 6!

______________________________________________

Mahi and the gang did not leave around 6 they left around 11 but Neta didn't notice. The minute he got out of the tub he passed out @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

[britneyshakespeare]

There's no reason not to tip at a restaurant in the United States of America unless you are either A) a confused foreigner who has no idea that if you don't tip, your waitstaff WON'T GET PAID FOR THEIR WORK or B) a selfish asshole.

If you can afford the luxury of going out to eat, your budget for that expense best include a tip. If you don't wanna pay a tip, go get fast food. Buy food at a convenience store. Cook for yourself. Whatever. Loads of other options that are more cost-efficient for consumers than going out to eat anyway. If you are demanding food that is SERVED to you hot then you best be prepared to PAY FOR THE SERVICE YOU ARE DEMANDING.

The tipping system is fucked up in the way that workers' income relies on the politeness and generosity of random members of the public, and that it's completely legal for them to be stiffed out of their regular earnings by cheap assholes. I wish I didn't have to personally do my part in making sure my waiter can make rent at the end of the month. I wish they just got compensated regularly for their work like any other job! But they don't, and everybody knows that, and I still sometimes go out to restaurants and order food, so while that is a reality and I am contributing to that system I will make sure to compensate the servers for their work as I am reasonably expected to do.

IF YOU ENCOUNTER A WORKER WHO DEPENDS ON TIPS FOR THEIR REGULAR EARNINGS, THEN FUCKING TIP THEM SO THEY CAN AFFORD TO LIVE

[gommyworm]

:^333333333

[thedisablednaturalist]

Unchonkious...

[arminsumi]

cws; smut, rough s*x, mentions sq**rting, milkman cliché, namecalling, sum back scratching, this is goofy asf LOL 🐥

Milkman!Gojo who doesn't just 'dick you down'; he fucks you into the 4th dimension. His strokes are actually insane. You can't keep up with him and he's laughing about it because up until now it's been you who's the horniest — the lonely single hottie flirting obnoxiously with the way too fuckable milkman. Shit, it was you who begged him to fuck you dumb in the first place. He's jus' delivering! One second he's giving you milk and the next he's stripping his uniform off and letting his cock spring out to give you... well, more milk?!

Locking you into the nastiest mating press you've ever endured, milkman!Gojo's slamming into your sensitive pussy so hard and fast at the perfect angle that you're actually scared of your orgasm — how he works it out of you with such violent thrusts that you hiccough and feel like you're about to cry. He just gives it to you without mercy, no breaks no bullshit he is dicking you the fuck downnn

"Holy shit! Nng! Fuck! Don't you fucking stop!" you squeal, clawing desperately at his back and leaving raw red lines, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Ahhh ummm I'm gonna c-cum?! Nnn!! I'm gonna cum... I'm cumming on your cock... I... um... shit, I-I'm ahh cumming...!"

His dick has you stressing out — like actually. Your pussy's under pressure like she's taking a big dick exam. Each inch he packs into your spasming cunt is changing your world perspective. Did you squirt? You can't tell. But you came without touching your clit for like, the first time, which is insane to you. His cum is pumping into you and he's shuddering, calling you a slutty bitch or whatever other foul names — with affection, you know, he's a charming guy. And he's left you with a charming creampie to ooze out your abused cunt.

He's stifling laughter once he's done filling you up with his milk, sliding his cock out with a nasty squelchy pop! and he's asking if you're okay after literally ruining you; you can't move a single muscle, you can only "bask" in the afterglow which feels more like an aftershock because that orgasm was some high-level earthquake shit.

"What the fuck... I need t-t-to lay here and think about life for a bit..."

He's howling with laughter, "Damn, did I fuck your brains out or what?"

"Nah, shut up with ya bullshit — your dick is insane, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend. Like, there's dicking down and then there's whatever that was — plowing me into the fourth fucking dimension... don't laugh!"

So now after that, you call your milkman up whenever you need "insane 4th dimension dicking down" and he snickers, ready to deliver — knocking at your door and waiting to cum inside.

[yumegen746]

what’s with me finding filipino artists in this hellsite.

[buzz-killed]

felt like i was possessing some sort of arousal sorcery at the hospital today out of all places? idk who they were there to see, if their ppl were on their last breaths or what. ive never experienced this much thirst in one day before in my life. it was wild.

[yuquinzel]

atsumu who goes above and beyond to impress you, his crush and classmate of four years, in all definitions of “impress.”

honestly how the fuck isn't it obvious to you by now, he might as well be walking around with “i like y/n” tattooed on his forehead.

you mention you like guys that can cook once and holy fuck atsumu who still doesn't know how to use the microwave without quite literally burning the food, who's never chopped onions before without ending up with enough cuts to bandage his whole hand— that atsumu practices for weeks and stays up till 2 am to prepare for the lunch he'll make for himself, because osamu said said no and then because you bring homemade lunch to stay and eat in class with your friends— he'll casually just plop down on the seat next to you, his friends will then very obviously willingly talk loudly about his lunch and he'll just throw in a, “yeah, made it maself, 'm a solid chef, who do ya think taught 'samu?”

okay if that didn't get your attention, no worries, what are his friends there for?

if atsumu gets lucky in a day and catches you chatting away with your friends in the hallway, then he instructs his friends to walk past you, hover in the corner, just within your earshot— “'kay, so when we pass her by, ya gotta speak ma name real loud, loud enough so she can hear it, but don't annoy her”

and so for the time you stand there, trying to hold a conversation with your friends, all your mind can really focus on is the, “atsumu was so fucking good in practice today, if we're gonna win, then it'll be all him”

and then you hear the subject of the conversation speak, “nah, we're a team, every time we win, it's all thanks ta you guys,” because you also mentioned you like modest, humble guys.

god forbid the days you're absent in class.

atsumu who's sulking all day, doesn't know what the fuck is going on in classes, he's half in and half not in every conversation, even his passes are sloppy and weak. to the point osamu and suna are concerned, well, in their own ways, “are ya constipated or something, yer missin’ your spikes and yer passes as clumsy,” osamu says off-handedly.

“i heard y/n didn't come today, i think her friends said she's sick.” suna chips in, and atsumu shrinks in his spot like a grumpy cat.

“i already know that, wouldn't have come today if i knew she wasn't comin’.”

“you'd miss practice then.”

“don't care, don't talk to me, don't wanna do anything, what's the point.”

“down fucking bad,” suna muses, and atsumu glares at him.

atsumu's day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable. why did you get sick? how could you get sick? now he's worried and half of himself and his passes are shit and god, he wants to see you. he feels like he could die.

then when you finally show up the next day after what felt like eternity to atsumu, you find on your desk a pile of snacks with a little note— banana milk, everyone knows it's your favourite, the bar of chocolate they only sell down the convenience store near the school, the glazed donuts that you're always eating in class, and a lot of bubblegums that only one person in class knows you like— atsumu's handwriting is rushed and barely comprehensive but you know it by heart because he doesn't know you saw him slip the note you found in your locker this morning, and countless other mornings—

“i hope you smile because of this”

atsumu as a secret admirer is... not so secret because he's still unaware that you see him every morning, and let him giggle to himself as he slips the notes and the strips of bubblegums in your locker— you don't even like that flavor.

but he gave them, so you think they might just be your favourite.

then again, maybe atsumu doesn't want to be a secret admirer.

atsumu has a crush on you and you know that— he's very obvious. but he's also very dense and doesn't realise that everyone besides him can see you like him too. he doesn't know the only reason you bring homemade lunch is because he had started to eat lunch in class with his friends. you stand in the hallways with your friends pretending to talk so that when atsumu's walking past you, his friends will practically yell his name and you'll see him blushing shyly. he still doesn't know you come to his every match, cheering for him and scream with joy at every one of his scores.

atsumu makes it obvious he has a crush on you but is stupidly dense that you reciprocate all the same :'))))

© yuquinzel 2024 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]

POSTING BECAUSE WHY TF NOT HUH HUHHHHHHHHH

@kyoghurts hi bbg

[verthanthi]

What’s your gay agenda?

Mine is: showing up to pick up a Craigslist IKEA bookshelf in my little 2door civic with my wife while the seller’s wife mutinously tells us it took her husband four hours to put it together and they both look on in shock as we disassemble it in seconds and have it loaded into our car.

It’s the confusion on his face in the mirror as we drive away because that thing took him a whole evening of swearing to assemble and these two lesbians broke it down in seconds with their own tools and a smile.