#all because of one stupid mistake
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malachitezmeyka · 2 months ago
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Just remembered I have to go back to school on Tuesday and I'm this close to actually fucking losing it
#ever since I fucked up my college application it feels like everything is just getting worse and worse#we're two months into the school year and I'm already so fucking done#I have no strength nor desire to out any actual effort in#everyone expects it of me. dad will actually fucking kill me if I don't deliver#but I can't#I've been doing this for 12 goddamn years#I was supposed to be done. by all accounts I'm meant to be done#I WAS done!! I have my diploma and everything!!!#I said that I'd never be a high schooler again#and look at me now#all because of one stupid mistake#I have no proof that life would be all sunshine and rainbows if I did get into college#probably wouldn't be#but it would be better than this#anything would be better than this#and even if I make it through this year. I still wouldn't be done. I have to go to university still#and that's another four years at least#and then work until I physically can't anymore...#what's the point? what's the point of anything?? this can't be all there is to life#it can't all be an uphill climb like this. when does it stop? when does it get easier? does it get easier at all?#right now it certainly seems that way#I don't think I'd be able to handle it if is. but I also don't think I have it in me to hang around until I'm proven wrong#what a sad existence huh. 18 years old and already wanting to die. having been wanting that for many years#I'm quite literally only still here because of my dog. I know everyone else will be alright eventually#but I have no idea what will happen to her. no one in my family would be able to take her. I can't just do that to her#she deserves better. even now. I'm an awful pet owner and she would have been better off with someone else#but she's my responsibility now. and as long as she's still breathing.. so will I#it's the least I can do for her. even if staying is unbearable. even if the mere thought of going to school makes me break down#I'm not even pushing on at this point. life is doing all the pushing. I have no idea where I'm headed but idc enough to fight against it#I'm not strong enough to convince myself I actually want to do something with my life. not again. not after last summer
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shorthaltsjester · 1 year ago
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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bumblingbabooshka · 3 months ago
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The worst trope in the universe is when someone accuses character A, who is part of a real or fantasy or coded minority, of doing something bad and everyone's like "That's just your prejudice against [real or fantasy minority]!" and it turns out character A actually did do that bad thing and everyone else was stupid for not believing they did that bad thing.
#skimmed a fanfic with B'Elanna in it (Skimmed bc I knew this might happen)....BIG MISTAKE#Ex: 'You just think I stole something because I'm a ferengi!' and they did steal something. Because they're a ferengi.#And you were stupid to think they didn't because of COURSE they did because they're a Ferengi#People seriously write B'Elanna as just hysterically violent and mad all the time 'because she's a klingon' and I haaaate it#you haveto think about the implications you HAVE to you HAVE to#male characters and white characters are given so much interiority and reasoning behind their actions in fanon pleeeaaaseee#it's so obvious to see (not talking about a specific fic) that people even when writing female characters and/or characters of color don't#actually see them as full or interesting people and it's sad dude it's sad to see a little paper cut out caricature of a character you love#B'Elanna in any fic: I'm mad. / Tuvok in any fic: I'm Vulcan. / Harry in any fic: I'm nice. / Chakotay in any fic: I love Janeway.#honestly if Seven wasn't in voyager people wouldn't even pretend to care about the show bc it's SO obvious they only REALLY care about the#white characters#'I watch Voyager for Seven! I skip the early seasons bc Seven's not there! My favorite characters on Voyager are Seven and Tom and Janeway'#HEY~! You and the writers both buddy!!!#'All of these characters of color don't interest me and are so annoying and one dimensional' Hey~!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#aaagh that turned into such a rant sorryyy
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black-and-yellow · 7 months ago
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 month ago
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also while we’re here when Fanny is leaving some social event (can’t remember what) and Henry gets her shawl for her and he’s prompt and quick and dexterous and romantic and she’s just like “sigh. wish it was Edmund.”
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slime-sandwhich-nom · 6 months ago
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Ngl gumball is the type to not fuck around when someone says anything about his gf he's very obsessed with
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the tags aren't letting me tell you how gumball literally brought an entire PERSON, probably a dead one of unconscious as a SACRIFICE to a fake cult made by his own teachers and classmates (they didn't take it well)
#this guy had the idea to rip in pieces his classmate uncle to fill a box for a BIRTHDAY GIFT#killed his classmate multiple times just to prove a point#tried to decapitate Leslie and in the most creepy way ever#burned his own gf house down to impress her#did give his own gf an allergic reaction multiple times#tried to choke his own bother because of a dream that didn't even happen#panicked multiple times about his gf nit loving him anymore and resulted in destroying the town more than once#almost killed rob with no hesitation#made his own brother feel guilty about eating potatoes in front of a potato while HE HIMSELF ate potatoes and didn't give a single fuck#sold somebody's parents to prove a point#framed people multiple times#did commit manslaughter before#created toxic and radioactive chemicals just because he didn't wanna admit he was wrong#his plan as a president us to literally bomb the entire country without a care#“we all know how things will go so let's just skip to the end” [bomb dropped]#he was dully prepared and committed to kill whoever was trying to fancy his mother#DID jumped into literal fire just for a stupid ass lucky hat#there's more but this guy.#this guy is not okay#tawog#the amazing world of gumball#tawog gumball#gumball watterson#also he proposed like 2 times in a row to penny#he mentioned to Darwin he was creepily obsessed with his own gf#is a narcissist but like#very slightly#he does have a HUGE ego though#his brother isn't safe either Darwin literally kidnapped someone's mom to get a videogame back and did chop somebody's head off#the last one was a mistake though
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nana2009 · 7 months ago
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biggest assholes on Earth C, only after their parents of course!
I imagine davekat tried to keep them away from the public eye as much as they could to protect their privacy, so most glances of them are as toddler or little kids. They're mostly afraid that their boys won't be able to make real friends in the future due to their whole demigods title and don't want others to approach the twins only for the status. Of course they get recognized over time and proudly acknowledge themselves as such(because theyre also snobby spoiled rich kids) but they're also smart enough to catch on to these kind of people. Tough luck kids!
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itsfrenchfornothankyou · 2 years ago
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The thing about Trafalgar is that he is determined to be the angsty emo in a series which is, unfortunately, a found family comedy
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pumpkinrootbeer · 7 months ago
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All of Revenge of the Sith, summarized:
Obi-Wan: I love and trust you, Anakin.
Anakin: No <3
Mace: Obi-Wan trusts you, Anakin.
Anakin: Opinion discared because Ive classified you as against me. Please forward my previous email to Yoda and get back to me about that council seat at your earliest possible convenience.
Yoda: mmm be a master, you will never be mmmm. melt steal beams, jet fuel cannot. mmmm. ignore that second thing I said, obi-wan cares very deeply abt you and are you still available tuesday at 6 for your next therapy session?
Anakin: Read✓ at 19:01
Padme: Obi-Wan loves and trusts you, Anakin. Just like I do.
Anakin: Not very gamer of you to not inherently validate my internal belief system :/
Palpatine: Obi-Wan hates ur loser ass lol. not like me tho I'm cool and always validate your internal beliefs (normal)
Anakin: I always knew he hated me, you're the only one willing to tell me the truth. thank God I never have to reevaluate my beliefs with you and don't have take any uncomfortable looks at my wants and desires. phew almost had to do some personal growth and acknowledge some things about myself thank God i avoided that
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crossdressingdeath · 18 days ago
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Y'know, I know they never would've done it but god damn the redemption ending should've failed. That should've been the bad ending, it would've been so good as a bad ending.
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disappearinginq · 1 month ago
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I hate that people on a whole don't understand a narrative. Like...your English/literature teacher should've flunked people over this.
Probably the people who understand it best are the ones marginalized in life, because hey, we see ourselves in those characters. Other people have the luxury of just going "eh" and moving on.
But when hugely popular shows and movies and even books keep killing off their marginalized and suffering characters as the "only way this could've ended" I want to reach through a screen and choke them out because stop telling me the world is better without me in it., Or I will take you with me, and we'll see who's mourned.
It's not even just Bury Your Gays. In Outer Banks, they kill of the kid who is told from season 1 that you'll never make anything of yourself. You will always be poor, homeless, unloved, and alone. And then spend three and a half seasons showing you that this character absolutely will beat his own narrative - he finds friends that are his family, he finds a life he loves with the people he loves and they love him back, and then - they kill him. BUT THE RICH BITCH FUCKING PSYCHOPATH GETS A REDEMPTION ARC? I don't care how good the actors are, the narrative has now wildly swung from 'you can make it if you don't give up' to 'don't even bother - life will find a way to beat you down to where you belong' and airing two days after the catastrophic American elections - where the billionaires and greed and hate win?
The Umbrella Academy had three seasons of fun, quirky, broken people who tried so hard to fix their mistakes, to fix what they broke, and canonically, are representing marginalized groups that never get the happy endings. But dammit, this family tried. They didn't always get along, they were dysfunctional, but they still came together in the end, and loved one another despite the bad they have done. And then - the narrative again spins a wild one eighty and the story ends with "the world is better without you in it - die". Which is a very real narrative a lot of us live with.
The MCU - kills off Iron Man/Tony Stark, one of the very first popular characters who suffers from extreme CPTSD along with an alphabet of mental disorders; Loki, who is the adopted child and queer across the board, loses absolutely everyone and everything; Steve, who while he isn't dead, his character most certainly is because he goes from the one who does sacrifice everything to making a selfish, personal decision that winds up fucking over everyone; Bucky, who again isn't dead but he is openly blamed for the things he did while he was a prisoner and a mind-controlled assassin for the bad guys against his will by his mental health professional. And the narrative is "no, you should sacrifice yourself so the rest of us who treated you like shit can live a better life."
The stupidity of wanting to punish your audience who is punished enough in the real world often enough we don't need it or want it in fiction is just...mind boggling. And when those are the real words used by writers to justify their shit decisions?
I hope your death serves a narrative purpose, since you seem to think that is the noblist way to go.
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andthespidersfrommars · 3 months ago
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you might not think it’s hard to be a soc fan artist on tumblr, but let me tell you about the time I called someone out for drawing inej with light skin, so they blocked me and then wrote a long post about me that I couldn’t see, along with colour samples taken from my art as examples of how inej is “too dark” in them, and then they end the post with “I’m disappointed in you” 💀
#girl 😭#inej ghafa#book accurate crows#mine#post contains g slur#the g word is a racial slur for romani people and a word used against them during the 500 years of chattel slavery they endured#which wasn’t even that long ago#english isn’t this person’s first language and so it was google translate who automatically used that word#but they have decided to stand by it#for a lot of my family their first language is greek#that isn't an excuse for them or me to say racially charged english slurs and if I did so by mistake I would correct myself.#you sound like someone who took an ancestry test discovered they had a#minimal percentage of a particular ethnic group in their genetic makeup#and then assumed they could speak on and represent that group without understanding its history or culture.#my racist right-wing aunt has a non white grandparent but that doesn’t give her the right to talk on matters from that ethnic group#we are all very mixed if we examined our genetics very closely#but that doesn't mean you can decide whether or not that word is a slur if you haven't lived openly as a romani person#and been called that while you were denied jobs education and even being allowed to go into stores.#you are undermining the lived experiences of individuals within the roma community.#my friend's ancestors have been saying that is a slur call us roma since the 1930s. that was only one or two#generations after the abolition of slavery.#and like any ethnic group of people they have varying skin tones?#it's actually stupid to say they all have light skin when they were in fact ostracized#dehumanized and forced into racially segregated ghettos on the outskirts of society#because of the very dark colour of their skin.#inej ghafa is romani coded#she happens to have dark skin#tw racism#tw colourism#tw g word
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lorephobic · 1 year ago
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here are my delirious saltburn notes if anyone actually wants to see them. mostly im just laying out scene order for my own reference, but theres definitely some incoherent observation & analysis in here if any of you are crazy enough to look thru it
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keen-eye · 2 months ago
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Penny
D: Mistakes? Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits. Drinking demon blood, check. Being in cahoots with Ruby. Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy. Those aren't mistakes, Sam. Those are choices!
D: Look, man, I don't even remember what I said, but, uh –
S: But what? But you didn't mean it? Oh, please. You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things.
D: Come on, Sam.
S: Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
D: Your blood's supposed to be purified, isn't it? You ever, uh -- you ever done the "forgive me, father" before?
Well, I mean, I could give you suggestions if you want.
All right. Well, I'm just spit-balling here, but if I were you, uh... Ruby, killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul, not looking for me when I went to Purgatory, for starters. Or, hey, h-how about what you did to, uh, Penny Markle in the sixth grade? Why don't you lead with that?
S: Well, that was you.
D: Carry on.
S: You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?
D: Come on, man. That's not what I meant.
S: No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again.
D: You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.
sam’s faults
purgatory
#what side of the coin will you be today?#none of it -- none of it -- is true#it has never been like that ever#i wonder where sam could have gotten these ideas from#hop in my car i'll drive you to the edge#tries to jump over the edge#i wanted you to teeter how could you ever think i'd want you to jump i need you#the writing isn't subtle and yet...#spn 8x06#spn 8x23#matter in a state having no fixed shape and no fixed volume#natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible#none of the things sam is accused of are a result of him being deliberately bad#dean knows ruby manipulated sam and that he was predisposed to be addicted to demon blood from 6 months old#dean and sam both know heaven and hell tricked them into freeing lucifer#sam absolves dean of any guilt from that#but dean can’t do the same#dean blames sam for coming back soulless#absolutely not sam’s fault but it’s one more thing to blame on him to hurt him#they had an agreement to not obsess over reviving each other again and again#dean locking sam in the panic room#something sam never holds against him#the horrible voicemail the one sam never uses against dean#these things are so obvious why are people stupid#sam always had good intentions he just wanted to help people but he was doomed from the beginning#whatever dean did he was always in the right because he was chosen by heaven#even when sam got to be the hero and throw himself into the cage with lucifer he was atoning for his mistakes#and dean and bobby let him go to hell all the while thinking he deserved it#and sam believes when dean and everyone else tells him he has darkness inside even though he’s the kindest heart among them#all because he was groomed to be the devils vessel and because he wanted freedom from the life his family tried to guilt him into
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pollen · 3 months ago
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hi fellow neurodivergent people
i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?
#idk what happened when i got laid off it seriously is like my brain BROKE i cannot do anything#i have not done much of anything in a year. and i think it's bc my coping mechanisms were 1. self-medicate but ESPECIALLY do that while#2. overcommitting. because it kept me busy and distracted. i excelled in school because i could focus on it without it giving me anxiety#school was honestly almost the only thing that didn't give me anxiety as a kid. and i never felt quite Right like i didn't feel like i fit#in with my peers. i've always felt like a human being that isn't a person. like something's not quite right. i excel but i feel like i'm#doing it wrong because it's SO hard for me. i graduated my BA and BS programs with a 4.0#but it came with the cost of alienating all of my friends and family and becoming really reclusive and weird and distant and anxious#but i really just wanted to do well at the one thing i felt i was good at. which doesn't seem like something i should take note of#idk. my life feels like a claustrophobic box. i feel like i'm buried alive and i can't get myself out because i can't work#because i can't focus. but maybe i'm just stupid and lazy and want everyone to take care of me forever so i can continue laying around doin#fuck all. which i do a lot because i'm chronically ill. idk. like is there ground to stand on here. i literally have zero friends rn#and i feel so so so sos so anxious any time i am working because i worry i'm going to do something wrong or forget to do something or make#lots of mistakes that get me in trouble. i'm so scared of making mistakes it keeps me from doing anything at all. but i get so anxious bc#i'm not doing anything! i'm wasting time! and i can't focus on anything when i AM working because i have to get up and pace#like i HAVE to move around or i start to feel like i need to peel my skin off like i'm an orange#like. is it anything at all. or is this just me being someone who has Other Stuff going on
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magicicephoenix · 10 months ago
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i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW
#diction dump#joey drew#batim#HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL#SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN#JUST SHUT!! UPP!!!#okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much#he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE.#like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!!#oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh#he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right.#meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?!#“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE?#and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake.#that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING!#why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love?#and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster#and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around.#so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD.#phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.
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