#And that's making me so nervous
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I finally did it. Wrote 3 long pages for this friend who's practically family (or at least that's what I like to think) but now that it's their birthday, im freaking out. Took a lot of guts for a scaredy-cat like me to spill my heart out like this. And now, im too nervous to actually hand it over. What if they read it in front of everyone? (or even just in front of me? shoot, pls im not ready for that kind of stuff) ive poured out stuff ive never even said out loud. Holding those pages, my palms are sweaty, and my vision's blurry from the tears. I can't even breathe right. How am I supposed to face them after giving this? im tempted to just rip it all up, but part of me wants them to know, even if it terrifies me.
#I guess I'll just give it to them along with the gifts#And after today#we probably won't run into each other for a month.#hopefully my avoiding stuff won't be a big deal#but I've been trying to work on it#I am so scared#pls pray for me#I sent a dry#two-line 'happy birthday' wish#but I added an emoticon#(I just realized it now#but I can't change anything)#So I hope they know I'm not being rude#plus they don't know what's coming for them in a few hours#And that's making me so nervous
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone be quiet i'm manifesting
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb hunter#mods art#mods draws#my art#YAYYYYY ITS DONE#i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think#just on and off#whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this#it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭#but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool#very self indulgent but!!! whatever#i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol#okay byeeeeee#ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD#okay bye fr
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
Collection of (mostly dbhc) Ethubs doodles from over the past two years or so :]
#dbhc#dbhc art#ethubs#hermitshipping#ethoslab#etho#bdubs#bdoubleo100#dbhc bdubs#dbhc etho#art escapades#I can’t remember if I’ve posted that top right one in the first image but it’s fine#shipping#dbhc ethubs#BRO IDK WHY EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC CONTENT MAKES ME SO NERVOUS TO POSSSTTTTT#I like them a lot though and I want to share them so…. nervously holds them out in my hands#if I’m missing any tags lmk#ALSO??? THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I FORGET TO DRAW THE TOP OF ETHOS CRACK IS INSANE#bro it’s supposed to be there#anyway I skedaddle#(flintstones running noise)
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.
You know what I do want?
I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy
I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good
I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.
I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.
#the other things are nice I guess#buddie would be nice#but honestly I don’t care anymore#I just want to see a happy queer character in media#because we don’t even fully have that with hen and Karen#their journey wasn’t an easy one#and why can’t we get queer characters who have a soft loving kind story#whatoh back at it again#evan buckley#tommy kinard#eddie diaz#911 abc#give me a giddy buck who’s nervous and unsure but so excited#give me a Buck who’s awkward but so determined to make this work and to discover more about himself#give me a Tommy who is so soft with him so gentle so kind#because don’t we all deserve that love? doesn’t Evan Buckley deserve that love?#for once I don’t want the angst for him I just want him to be Happy and Free
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I really despise the Marvelification of Stranger Things, because all the interviews nowadays are constantly referencing how fast paced and epic and big the finale will be but the reason people fell in love with the show wasn't special effects or long episodes; it was the plot, it was the characters, it was the mystery. Stranger Things 1 may have been a story about a government conspiracy and a monster, but that's not why we stuck around. The show can throw amazing CGI, Russians, a battle within the American army and an apocalypse at the audience with the biggest budget known to man but if they forget to ground it and keep it central, it'll just get lost amongst a plethora of other "epic" blockbusters. We want Steven King, not Avengers.
#i think s5 has a TON of potential to be great don't get me wrong#but they need to drive home the characters#make the final fight rooted in emotion not throwing hands at each other and screaming#s4 i think was getting there by exploring max's arc and the hawkins plotline was perfect#so don't take this as me saying s5 will be bad#but s1 and 2 are my favourites for a reason#im just getting nervous based on them constantly banging on about how big the finale will be#ALSO they need to put emphasis on the mystery around will and the ud being frozen#if they keep it central and focus on will and eleven i think they can pull it off#but i hope this makes sense#stranger things#byler#will byers#stranger things five#st5#stranger things one#stranger things two
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
You make Stede happy. / I'll never leave you. I'll never leave again.
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmdedit#ofmd s2 spoilers#edward teach#blackbeard#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#blackbonnetedit#gentlebeard#gentlebeardedit#taika waititi#rhys darby#idk if this was done already i haven't seen it and it's killliiiiing meeeeeeeeeeeeeee#that damned eyebrow and the smile#it's the exact same face#he even does a little nervous swallow both times#STEDE MAKES HIM SO HAPPY 😭😭#my stuff#(these two gifs took me like 45 min to make lmao rip)#(once i get my laptop fixed it's all over for u guys)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
333 notes
·
View notes
Text
Defying God - a parallel between Fyolai and Stavrovensky
The Demons brainrot is taking over, and you know what happens when I acquire a new interest: my brain WILL find a way to connect it to my other interests, whether I like it or not!! And this is essentially what it's about xD I've come here to present a parallel I found between Fyolai (Fyodor & Nikolai from BSD) and Stavrovensky (Verkhovensky & Stavrogin from "Demons" by Dostoevsky). Before I start I want to clarify a few things:
• I don't think these two pairings are similar, I just love picking up any crumbs of connections I can find between my interests, even if it'd count as reaching.
• This interpretation (in either character's case) is in no way "the only true way of looking at it". It's merely one interpretation out of many and I chose to focus on just a few aspects out of the many others there are to explore in these complex characters.
• Feel free to add onto or disagree with anything I say! I'm interested in your thoughts :D
WARNING: There will be spoilers for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demons.
The reason Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor is because he feels affection for him. Emotions are a prison to him, and he basically seeks the opposite of what his emotions make him want to do. Thus, in the face of affection, which makes you want to be closer and wish the best for your friend, he does the opposite and decides to kill said friend, going directly against his feelings in an attempt to prove free will. But here I want to focus more on the "You want to defy God in order to lose sight of yourself" part, specifically the bit about God.
One part of my interpretation is that Nikolai associates God with control. If there is a God who controls all, how can there be a free will? He wants to go against Him and His creations (the human mind, morality, etc.) to prove that it's possible. But God is very abstract - the idea of God is influential but varies depending on cultures, etc. For this point, I'll use the example of the biblical God, or, more specifically, some attributes commonly assigned to the idea of God:
• omnipotence (all-powerful)
• omnipresence (all-present)
• omniscience (all-knowing)
What I am leading up to is the fact that these traits can, in one way or another, be applied to Fyodor. Fyodor's character represents everything Nikolai wants to defy. Nikolai hates control; he wants to fight the idea of God and prove the possibility of complete independence. Fyodor (though not in a "direct" way) could be seen as a symbol for God. He knows everything, he is always present (metaphorically and sometimes literally, the way he spawns sometimes I swear-), and he seems to control everything. Only few people actually see him, but he pulls the strings behind the scenes, and his power is felt everywhere. For Nikolai, to kill Fyodor is not just a protest against his feelings of affection, but can also be a symbolic act of defying "God", of killing "God", by killing Fyodor.
This is supposed to be very symbolic and not taken literally. I feel the need to repeat this because I personally dislike the notion of Fyodor as a literal God (and disagree with the idea of him having a God-complex), so this is merely about the God-like traits he possesses, like a "substitute" for the idea of God, and how it interacts with Nikolai's philosophy. (I've also exaggerated some points for the sake of simplification - for example, I don't actually believe Fyodor is in control of absolutely everything, etc.)
Moving onto Demons:
Pyotr Verkhovensky grew up religious and (assuming based on Stepan's description) with a fear of God.
Now he's an atheist and very anti-religious. He plans to overthrow society, and destroying religion + everything it preaches is part of that plan. But interestingly enough, he picks not himself as the official future "ruler", but someone else: Nikolai Stavrogin. He chooses Stavrogin to be the role of the leader in Verkhovensky's ideal society. But not exactly the "leader" in the traditional sense, because he wouldn't necessarily give Stavrogin all the power. He would simply use him as a "pawn" (for lack of a better word) while himself pulling the strings behind said society. With that, Verkhovensky puts someone else above himself, in a God-like position, but he wants to do it while still keeping full control over Stavrogin. By doing so, he would overcome his childhood fear of God because instead of being controlled by God, *he* will control God.
(Same case here, not the literal God, but the character who he assigns God-like traits to.)
I am undecided (with both Nikolai's and Verkhovensky's character) whether this could be read as a solely subconscious intention or if it would make sense as a conscious one as well. Given that both have a different "main" goal (Nikolai focuses on emotions and Verkhovensky on the revolution) I lean more towards thinking it's subconscious (if present at all - like I said, just interpretations!)
It doesn't help that Verkhovensky describes his vision of Stavrogin's leadership as "hidden": Everyone believes in him and his power, but only very few people are said to actually have laid their eyes upon him. When I first read this part, I was honestly reminded of Big Brother from Orwell's 1984, but eventually realised that similar things can be said about God as well.
While these are parallels, they don't come without differences. Nikolai needs Fyodor dead, Verkhovensky needs Stavrogin alive. Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor for a sense of freedom, Verkhovensky wants to keep Stavrogin for a sense of control. Yet both symbolic goals are bound to fail:
Fyodor turns out to be unkillable, and Stavrogin ends up dead.
At the end, "God" stays untouchable.
#they make me so ill#I stay up nights thinking about them#fyolai#fyodor dostoevsky#nikolai gogol#bungou stray dogs#dostogol#fyogol#bungo stray dogs#bsd#demons#demons dostoevsky#verkhovensky#pyotr verkhovensky#nikolai stavrogin#Бесы#Достоевский#Верх��венский#Пётр Верховенский#Николай Ставрогин#Not a ship post but this sure is fueling my enjoyment of their relationship#I need to dissect and study their dynamic under a microscope#Thank you Dostoevsky#Btw This is my first analysis post here if I'm not mistaken#I'm nervous please be nice#I will draw them now
703 notes
·
View notes
Text
Open My Eyes
AO3, 1/15 chapters, post season 5 finale, angst (with a happy ending), Adrien discovers the truth
Adrien smiles as he eats breakfast with Nathalie, smiles as he walks through the halls of his new lycée, smiles as people stop him on the street and tell him time and time again what a "hero" his father was. (Adrien wishes he could've been a hero, too. He should've been. Maybe then his father would still be alive.) (But he's surviving. Everyone may be treating him as though he were made of glass, but he can still go through the motions, he can prove them wrong, he can still smile.) “And you’re… happy,” Marinette spoke carefully, a nervous tilt to her voice, “... right?” (Adrien has some things to find out.)
Hey guys, deciding to force myself to finally start uploading my post-season 5 finale fic! It's already complete and will be updated Mondays and Thursdays.
Basically, it's lots of Adrien angst and reveals dealing with the fallout of the season 5 finale. It was a lot of fun to write.
#''force myself'' to upload because posting fic makes me nervous lol so i stall. this is also why my fics are completed first uploaded second#complete fic is 100k because adrien has SO MUCH SHIT TO GO THROUGH. AND ITS ALL CANON STUFF 😭😭😭😭#adrien whump is just. acknowledging things that are canon. kjklsajfklasjfsaf#my art#open my eyes
2K notes
·
View notes
Photo
getting the attention of the humanoid typhoon
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#wolfwood menace arc#he also wouldnt know HOW obvious to make it so he's just ramping it up throughout the day#but vash is sooooo used to repressing but also experiencing this kind of want so strongly for the first time#makes him wear the most obvious expressions.... while wolfwood is ALSO not used to being wanted in this way so he would be none the wiser#to vash's obvious expressions -- does that make sense. theyre silly. theyre so silly its like an endless loop#and then wolfwood is like ok i guess im doing something wrong or maybe he just doesnt want me like that. whatever! we move on#vash: dying crumbling - wondering if ww is doing it on purpose but also too nervous to ask until he starts literally taking off layers#ruporas art
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Marc Revelado Documentary clip and English transcript
#motogp#rosquez#marc marquez#valentino rossi#vr46#mm93#my amazing friend translated it for me!!!!#she said marc was stuttering so bad esp at the beginning so after a few sentences she gave up trying to add that to the transcript..#just know he was so nervous#i wonder why!!!!#keeps screaming at this for the rest of the day i owe her my life my everything#LIKE.. THE INTERVIEWER ASKING IF THEY'D HAVE DINNER#TALK AGAIN#OR LAUGH OH MY GOD AUGHHHHHH PLEASEEEE WE ALL WANT U GUYS SO BAD PLEASE#PLEASE KISS AND MAKE UP#this is so fuckin sad just marc being nervous and somber saying he was lucky and then not so lucky... and it's not up to him#his sad smile#i gotta go cry
404 notes
·
View notes
Text
(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.
I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!
Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.
So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.
It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.
Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!
Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:
Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.
Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.
The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??
Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!
#trimax#trigunbookclub#cw assault#cw sa#ive never tagged content warnings before please help if i didnt do it well enough#cw sui ideation#vash the stampede#millions knives#also this is ENTIRELY SEPARATE from kv/plantcest shipping. do not discuss that here. this is not about shipping.#posting this makes me so nervous ngl#dont hate me
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
cause i love to love, to love, to love you
↬ in which you have him all lovesick and smiles
includes; dazai, chūya, atsushi, fyodor
notes; i am gonna pretend i didn’t disappear for 2-3 months. this has been in my drafts for so long :( i tried to clean it up as much as i could but it’s really old jfjdks
DAZAI
dazai appears happy. present tense.
his typical inquiries for double suicides came to lessen to conscious degree, substituting in drinking sake together when the sun cowers, nothing but a string of nonsensical chatter proceeding each sip.
he was sticky like that: unannounced visits, impromptu phone calls, sudden changes in his schedule to accommodate yours. in any case, he isn’t one to shy from stooping as low as whining if it rewards him with your familiar face.
( his windpipes splinter before he could mutter it out loud, but the solitude that’s wedged deep in his bones for so long felt lighter when you were near. he questions how long such benevolence would last before becoming sullied by his hand… ).
…and yet all things considered, it hasn’t deterred him from courting you nonetheless. at times he can’t help but think he’s taken a bite of his own medicine when he’s the one skipping around like a helpless maiden.
and yet again in spite of it all, his brazenness remains perpetually untouched as ever. he entertains different approaches if only to coax out a new reaction from you and he’s not bashful in the slightest. so much so, he remains unruffled even under the scrutiny of your coworkers.
. . .
“ this is highly unprofessional.”
“ don’t be so mean, bella. don’t you know how much i missed you?”
your eyes flit down to the man currently using your lap as a headrest, the rest of his body stretching over the expanse of the couch. he was shameless, that much was certain, but his ability to remain unperturbed whilst in his lovey dovey state was impressive. you cocked a brow, sighing.
“ osamu.” his lips visually twitched at the call of his name; it’s a word warm on your tongue but leaves the hairs on his nape at your mercy anyway. " you saw me fifteen minutes ago—”
“ twenty.” he corrected, cheeky (and quite frankly, you wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled that number out his ass). “ but it was the longest twenty minutes of my life.”
he was unrepentant as ever, experimentally positioning his head to rest on the plush on your thighs. by muscle memory, he began to absently draw shapes wherever he could reach, a crude rendition of stars decorating over the bend of your knee.
he smiles innocently when you squint at him, the gleam in his eyes unwavering. “ only a couple more minutes and i would have been yours,” you mutter out, your voice not as sturdy as you hoped. “ at home.”
dazai almost turns pouty at that. almost. “ but my love, i’ve missed you like crazy. twenty minutes is too long, how can i possibly manage?” the words come out through a breathy exhale and you watch as his lashes kiss his cheeks when he flutters them closed. “ all i could think about is you. and now i have you right here.” he hopes his words carry as much truth as the way his heart does, scurrying away the cold that's mocked him for so long. “ can’t we just stay like this a little longer? pretty please?”
resigned to your fate, you could only clamor your palms over your features— if only to salvage your waning dignity from your coworkers.
unfortunate though… that in doing so you miss the blissful smile curling on his lips as he peeks at you from below. and atsushi notes(after throughly grimacing, not expecting him to be so blunt), it reaches his eyes too.
CHŪYA
" chūya-"
" you can't flirt with me. i have a partner."
terse, stubborn and slurred. if the groggy voice wasn’t enough to confirm your suspicions, the shit-face look belonging to your boyfriend did. he was drunk. wasted if you were to speak bluntly.
in truth, it really doesn’t come off as much of a surprise; his ability to hold his liquor was nothing to brag of (despite what he may profusely argue) and you’re half-convinced he’s already forgotten his own name.
still, you don’t loosen your grip on his sleeve even under the figurative holes he’s burned with his stare. “ chūya. i am your partner.”
“you—! wha-!” his voice erupts into a sudden warble, eyes akin to saucers. " you… you are??"
he takes what’s left of his thinning rationality to study you proper; the style of your hair, your clothing, the smell of perfume/cologne, the familiar quirk of your lips—
oh, he thinks as you push back the loose bangs veiling his face. he doesn’t make any attempts to move, feet stalled and eyes blinking, evidently stunned.
you decide to press on. “ do i look familiar now…?” the lilit of your voice grazes against his ear, plucking out a faint memory tucked somewhere in the crevice of his fuzzy head.
oh. he thinks twice, the stern look bruising his face thawing.
without realizing it, he squares his shoulders in any attempt to remedy his current disheveled appearance, slumped posture pulled taut in— what he hopes— was a more put together frame. conversely, he wobbles on his feet when you continue to eat away at the distance, the ghost of your touch pushing pinpricks into his skin.
“ you’re- you’re really all mine…?” he cringes as soon as it leaves his mouth, coming off eager and hopeful. something like a laugh escapes you and he can’t tell if that’s what made his stomach turn or the alcohol. perhaps both.
“ that’s what i’ve been trying to tell you. you’re so stubborn when you’re drunk.” you punctuate the words with a kiss to his cheek, now warm with revelation. chūya, exhausting the last bits of his energy, shrinks beneath it, a gloved hand clutching his reddened face defensively.
“ why haven’t i made you my spouse yet?” he remarks it so suddenly, you nearly choke on air. he can’t even comprehend what you say thereafter or register the look beginning to contort your features, nothing but liquid courage keeping him afloat.
but- well, if there’s anything the haze trotting his head and his thinning cognition could agree on, it’s that your ring finger appears a little too barren for his liking.
( but not for much longer, he hopes )
ATSUSHI
the sudden change in atsushi’s behavior was a notable observation within the ADA, many of whom watched as the weretiger became stupefied by a face belonging to you. it wasn’t long before concluding it was all the result of a crush; the culprit of which being atsushi himself who played his hand poorly at discretion.
the lovesick chatter would leave his mouth without much rationality, waxing of "[name] this" or "[name] that," and effectively becoming on the receiving end of his praises. it was almost a routine of sorts, occupied by stutters, belated responses and his fidgety footfalls. by the end of it, he fruitlessly attempts to steady his rabbiting heart— if only to stop his blush from staining beyond his cheeks.
even now as he silhouettes by the agency door, the rattle of rain is deafened by the rush of blood to his ears. he anxiously worries the handle of the umbrella in his palms, bouncing from one sole of his feet to the other. should he just ask you? maybe he should wait… now that he thinks about it would be more appropriate to just leav—
“ damn it.” he perks at your sound of displeasure, his heart spiking. “ so much for leaving in a hurry…” you stiffen, realizing you have nothing but a coat protect you from the weather. the flimsy jacket you hurriedly plucked from your wardrobe only added flavor to your disappointment.
atsushi doesn’t miss the opportunity; his feet carries him to you before the unpleasant voice lurking deep in his subconscious bullies him otherwise. “ we can share,” he gestures to his own, silently praying his voice was leveled. it wobbles anyway and by now his knuckles are sheen white as a product of his nerves.
with the organ jumping around in his chest, he almost doesn’t register your ‘thank you,’ only that his fingers were quickly undoing the straps of the umbrella before you could change your mind ( he impulsively bought it earlier that day— his previous pair worned out and far too tiny for two people. but when you thank him with a kind smile, hands slightly brushing with each step, he argues it was the best 800 yen he’s ever spent ).
… that said, a more appropriate question is how you managed to remain naive to all his pining for so long— he’s become despairingly obvious against his own good and yet he can’t find it in himself to change himself, a perpetual lovesick look copy and pasted whenever you entered his proximity.
the same can't be said to everyone else however and he wasn’t particularly pleased when he caught wind of the bets exchanged among his treacherous colleagues. he fears it's only a matter of time before one of them blabs their tongue to you. at this rate, perhaps one of them should.
. . .
" y'know atsushi," ranpo once said, offering his companion a gleaming simper. " you reallllyyy talk about [name] a lot."
"oh.”
his heart flutters, eyes slowly blinking.
" yeah,” he smiles. “ i guess i do.”
FYODOR
" you've been awfully quiet, my dear." fyodor’s voice was just loud enough over the sound of clashing cutlery, fixing you a gaze of genuine interest. " is the meal not to your liking?"
you feel your lips twist into a frown. for being attentive, he (for once) falsely saunters pass the source of your displeasure, failing to recognize the extent of your internal woes. " no- no-" you fidget with your fingers, ignoring the way your propped elbows skidded against the table. the behaviour doesn't go unnoticed by the former, who takes it upon himself to hook his index fingers with yours. “ there’s something i’ve been meaning to ask of you. a… request of sorts.”
“ what is it? i’ll have it shipped to you by the end of the week,” he offers generously though it quickly fades into a confused hum when you shake your head at the proposition.
" it isn’t something you can buy…” you drop your gaze from him to the scantly poked portions of cuisine on your plate. fearing he may misinterpret your words and assume it to be unattainable - perhaps gifting you something ludicrous as a piece of land - you amended quickly. " it’s not what you assume to be either.”
at that, he bums questioningly. “ then what displeases you, my darling?” he provides a faint squeeze to your hand, igniting something warm and paradoxical to his thin layer of frigid skin. “ what can i offer to rid you that frown?”
" just your company.”
" my company?"
" yes." perplexed, he cocks his head; an invitation. willing an inhale to your lungs, you took a moment to gather possession of your words. “ these days you've been rather occupied. i was hoping for perhaps… if we may spend some time together?"
fyodor appears vaguely surprised by that, something unfamiliar fortifying around him. requesting his time felt like a hefty expenditure just in itself and it wasn’t too far fetched to assume he’ll disregard it in favor of some plot embellishing deep within his brain. but a swift refusal never comes.
“ i see,” he finally says after a brief pause. his voice was so soft you wondered if it was meant for you to hear.
it's grows quiet before he speaks again, the fingers curled around your hand withdrawing but not before providing the tips a delicate squeeze. " i can arrange some time tomorrow for you,” he proffers. “ will that satisfy your request, myshka?"
hardly anything can catch fyodor off guard, but something had to be said in the way you brightened at the suggestion, a deep curve coasting over your lips. how pleasant you are.
" yes," you hastily replied, dipping your head slightly. " more than perfect. thank you."
the way your lineaments crossed into a smile was always enduring to observe — exasperated, but one he wouldn’t mind seeing tomorrow knowing he was the cause for such elation.
( idly, he wonders what he can do to see it again ).
A/N !
i’ve been meaning to post this for months but it’s so old & i never quite (and still kinda don’t) liked it :(( fyodor’s is bit ooc jfjdkskla
彡 [BSD m.list]
taglist; @eynnwwyjth @anqelically @seisitive @iheartpieck @seiiblue @averagebsdwatcher @solandiss @4nthonyyliving @guacamoleroll @sunnyx07 @shiopi
join or be removed here
#¡! ❞ sincerely rora#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#atsushi x reader#fyodor x reader#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd imagines#dazai fluff#chuuya fluff#atsushi fluff#fyodor fluff#bsd fluff#bsd x y/n#i don’t remember how to tag things 🥹#i’m so nervous posting this. i’m lil ready to cry a bit . this isn’t particularly great but it’s been in my drafts long enough#idk if it’s obvious but i kinda gave up on fyodor’s & dazais parts. it gave me major headaches#i feel like these would have been so much better if i had dedicated a fic individual jfjdksk#kunikida was originally part of this line up. but the draft was beyond redeemable.#i was tempted to remove chuuyas part as well but i think i manage to make it decent??#dazai is so long. my favoritism is showing ha ha h a
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Clementine returns. (PHIGHTING!)
deciding to accumulate all of these into a singular post to make my life easier + so that I can have some more food for you all,,, anyways.
My. My son. Clementine my baby my sweet boy,,, Some of these ARE actually reposts but the first 2 are for sure not :3! (I think at least LMAO), enjoy this :3! I must go back to my hole /silly
(Also a bonus as well )
#Yeah I thought it would be best to just#Shove all of these together LMAO#anyways! Here’s my son Clementine :3#He’s my beloved biograft oc and my favorite thing to do with him ever is draw him over cat memes#I know I’ve said it in the past but he’s not actually a biocat#I just draw him as one a lot LMAO#I do wanna like. Put a small thing though since I’ve noticed a bit of a rise in it and it’s that like#Just to nite#this IS my oc#he is an owned character with lore and stuff#Like. If you use these for anything please please PLEASE make sure to credit me#I won’t be upset if you don’t but it’s just very much preferred obviously since he’s MY character and I’m very nervous about him#Getting stolen and stuff#Not mad or anything and it’s not targeted at anyone what so ever but I just think that it should be stated!#Anyways TAG TIME YAAAAY#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting art#roblox#roblox phighting#phighting fanart#for the memes#funny memes#meme#tumblr memes#humor
302 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man I hate calling people. I tried to call my doctor, but the office was closed. I’m all shaky from nervousness now.
Can anyone else relate? I like to talk face-to face with people. Talking to them on a phone just makes me uncomfortable.
#can anyone relate?#i hate phone calls#they make me so nervous#I’m all shaky now#I’ll have a call later
203 notes
·
View notes
Note
K I love your art and story so much you don’t understand.
Clora is an absolute angel child that Jo will adopt and take everywhere on little Ravenclaw dates while Seb can go pout.
Also Your Sebastian….does things to me.
But to be faithful to my lovely darling Ominis I just have to say I love him in your art style, he looks so pretty and I would literally die if you did more of him.
ILY 🫶
i love YOU so much you are such a ray of sunshine and you make everyone in this fandom feel so included with how much you interact and contribute, its amazing...as an introvert ass hermit i admire you so much PLS NEVER CHANGE💖💖
and since you wanted more ominis HAVE HIM GIVING HAND SMOOCHES TO JO!!!🥰 ALSO YES absolutely 10000% jo and clora need to do cute ravenclaw things together NO BOYS ALLOWED
(tho in the end i think clora just yapped to jo about sherlock the entire time LMAO...sorry jo🙏)
#SRSLY UR THE BEST ILY#so many creators in this fandom treat creating like a competition🥲#it can get demoralizing when i realize ive been blocked by so many other creators in this fandom... it makes me nervous to interact#because i dont know where im welcome sometimes within these formed groups bahha#BUT YOU ALWAYS MAKE EVERYONE FEEL SO WELCOME AND INCLUDED I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH I LOVE YOU💖💖💖#TAKE THIS MEAGER OFFERING OF MY LOVE AND THANKS#choccyart#ask#ominis gaunt x oc#ominis gaunt x mc#Johanna Newman
395 notes
·
View notes