#And I think I understand that the importance of it so far as the ritual goes

[clown-eating-pig]

one of the more random things that disturb me about tma is simply the existence of the gorilla skin. like..........why. what was up with that.

[togglesbloggle]

You Aren't Supposed to Win

There's a species of post on Tumblr that's not uncommon: explainers about neurotypical social interactions for the benefit of the neurodivergent. Others, in an adjacent genre, are vent-posts or bewildered people expressing exasperation and impatience with neurotypical social rituals. And these are usually fine as far as they go, but there's a sort of deficit or hole in them that I think tends to go un-addressed.

Basically, a lot of these explainers are very reasonably helping readers to navigate a system for some desired outcome (getting a job, finding a date, or other such things), but with the understanding that a failure to get the desired outcome is a failure of the system. And that's... only kind of true.

Neurotypical social interactions can be a very complex mix of collaborative and competitive enterprises. The ratio between those things can shift on a dime, it can be really hard to figure out where on the spectrum you are at any given moment, and this is the system working as intended. Or at least, as the players in the game intend, which isn't always quite the same thing.

I don't want to overstate this too much; standard social interactions aren't a fight to the death or anything. Typical examples are more like a preponderance of cooperation, but with some jockeying for a larger share of the rewards that follow from a shared project. Or, perhaps, attempts to spend the least effort in a group project, while receiving a full share of the reward.

The thing about this is, the presence of an antagonistic element within these interactions means that perfect legibility is opposed to most participants' goals for the interaction. There is a degree of confusion and uncertainty that is quite deliberate and instrumentally useful. If a particular partnership is going to pivot to 'pvp mode', it is absolutely in each participants' interest to be the first one to defect, and to mask that defection for as long as possible; perfect transparency prevents them from being able to do so, and they can and will interpret requests for perfect transparency as being hostile acts.

At the same time, admitting any of this is also a loss of strategic advantage during adversarial interactions, so it's one of the hardest things to get people to admit. It's even hard for people to notice that they're doing it, because evolution favors mentalities that keep as much of this as possible subconscious; it's easier to defect without warning if you never consciously think of yourself as defecting at all. So explicit discussions of this are quite rare. (There is, however, an entire genre of party games designed to bring them to the fore and let people show off their capacity for adversarial play among shifting alliances and uncertainty, so it's more 'open secret' than 'forbidden lore'.)

The upshot of all of this is, the desire for an explicit, legible system of social interactions that can be exploited for reliable outcomes- can often be a desire for power over others, in a way that I don't think the proponents fully realize. The fantasy of people just doing what you want is a powerful one for everybody, neurodivergent and neurotypical alike. And this isn't an unreasonable fantasy! it's really not fun to be surrounded by people pursuing their own interests at the expense of yours!

But it's important to realize that a lot of the hard work of aligning those values and making a system of interactions 'purely collaborative', such that everybody will be doing their best to help you succeed regardless of skill level or quirks of neurotype, is a really hard problem that nobody has yet been able to solve. And until we get there, a system in which you reliably get everything you want, and which you navigate with perfect confidence, is one that subordinates the people around you.

[tanadrin]

Fell down a rabbit hole on ancient Israelite child sacrifice and it’s interesting that 1) it’s basically impossible (without jumping through absurd apologetic hoops) to explain important parts of the Hebrew Bible unless they are reacting to, being revised against, or being overlaid on a literary stratum which assumes the existence of Yahwistic child sacrifice; 2) as such it seems there is a very ancient strand of religious law (renegotiated at a very early date!) which specifically commands the sacrifice of all human and animal firstborn males; 3) like all religious law in the Bible, “one group of elites produced religious literature commanding a thing” doesn’t mean that those commandments represent actual universal and uncontested practices—indeed, one of the reasons people produce religious literature is to argue for a set of practices or to shore up their own position by portraying it as normative, and there is very little evidence that the ancient near eastern law codes (religious or secular) produced for propaganda purposes were used like we might use a modern law code; 4) the Canaanite/Phoenecian/Punic/Northwest Semitic religious milieu was certainly one in which infant sqcrifice was at least irregularly practiced, but no such archeological remains have been found in ancient Israel, but by their very nature this kind of infanticide leaves very little remains behind: infant skeletons are small and mostly cartilage, fire seems to have frequently been involved in such sacrifice, and the reason evidence of Carthaginian child sacrifice survived is bc such remains were interred in jars in Carthaginian tophets. 5) While a lot of modern commentators balk at taking the plain meaning of the relevant passages of the Bible seriously, and think that on grounds of basic social and emotional realism they cannot be read as supporting the existence at one time of Yahwistic child sacrifice, we really do not understand the realities of living in an Iron Age society with its attendant phenomenally high infant mortality rates, where many parents seem to have bonded with their children much later, and fertility rates were much higher to compensate for the basic reality of how often babies died. I would add to that my hunch that people in the ancient past were by modern standards just more likely to be traumatized in general, and that probably fucks up how you deal with violence and the value of human life and how you build systems which create social meaning out of death, too. “People in the past were human beings who loved their children” is not incompatible with “people in the past did horrific shit occasionally because they thought it was spiritually, socially, or materially necessary.”

And I am in some ways sympathetic to people who are reluctant to accept evidence of ancient Israelite, or even ancient Carthaginian child sacrifice. It’s so alien to our own moral sensibilities—it is in fact utterly repugnant to them! Ergo the urge to try to read the evidence differently, even if it requires wild contortions. But we know that (for instance) the death penalty and exposure of infants and religious ordeals would have all been common in the region and it seems a small step to me to imagine some ritualization of these practices that at least imbues infanticide with some kind of deeper spiritual significance, if for no other reason than as a kind of cope. In a way it’s encouraging that we have come so far that we refuse to believe any society could have ever endorsed such a thing. Nor is it a recent transition: much of the overt violence and bloodshed of the ancient Israelite law codes was renegotiated away thousands of years ago, and the renegotiation of child sacrifice happened so early that it was a major part of the formation of those codes in the form that we have them now. That too is encouraging—you don’t need modern, historically contingent sensibilities to look at brutal social systems and go “fuck this, let’s replace them with something kinder and more humane.” That tendency is as much a part of the basic forces that drive human history as our violence or our shortsightedness is.

[marysfics]

In Your Corner

Your girlfriend has an important match tomorrow.

Fluff

The soft hum of the city at night drifted through the open window, mingling with the distant echoes of cars and the faint rustle of leaves in the cool breeze. The moonlight streamed in, painting the room in silvery hues, casting delicate shadows on the walls.

You sat on the edge of your shared bed, leaning against the headboard, your gaze fixed on her. Alexia stood by the window, the oversized shirt she always wore the night before an important match draped over her frame. It fell loosely over her shoulders, the familiar sight tugging at your heart. Her long hair cascaded down her back, catching the light, and her hands rested gently on the windowsill as she gazed out at the world, lost in thought.

You couldn't help but smile, watching her. There was something about this ritual, this quiet moment of reflection before the chaos of the next day. She had always been like this, calm before the storm, but tonight, something felt different. There was an energy in the air, a quiet intensity radiating from her, and you could feel it in your bones.

You knew how much tomorrow meant to her. It wasn’t just another game—it was the game. The culmination of weeks, months, years of hard work, sacrifice, and dedication. But right now, in this moment, she was just Alexia—your Alexia.

She sighed softly, and the sound pulled you from your thoughts. You watched as her shoulders rose and fell, her chest expanding with a deep breath. Her eyes were far away, somewhere beyond the city skyline, lost in the world of her own dreams, fears, and hopes.

"You're quiet tonight," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to disturb the peace of the room.

Alexia turned her head slightly, just enough to glance at you over her shoulder. A small, soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips, and for a moment, you swore the room grew warmer.

"I’m just thinking," she replied, her voice low, tinged with a hint of nervousness. It was rare for her to be this vulnerable, to let her guard down, but you knew her too well. She was always strong, always poised, but right now, you could see the weight of tomorrow in her eyes.

You slid off the bed, your feet padding softly against the cool floor as you walked over to her. Gently, you wrapped your arms around her from behind, resting your chin on her shoulder. She leaned back into you, exhaling a shaky breath as your warmth enveloped her.

"It’s going to be perfect," you whispered against her skin, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her neck. "You’re going to be perfect."

She didn’t respond right away, but you felt the way her body relaxed into yours, the way the tension seemed to melt from her muscles. Her hand reached up to rest on your arm, her thumb brushing gently over your skin. The silence between you was comforting, filled with unspoken words, with love and understanding.

"I just—" she started, her voice catching in her throat. She paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "I don’t want to let anyone down. My team, my family, you…"

You tightened your hold on her, pressing your cheek against hers. "You could never let anyone down, Alexia. Least of all me. I believe in you, more than you’ll ever know."

She turned in your arms, facing you now, her eyes searching yours. There was a flicker of vulnerability there, a softness that was reserved only for you. The world saw the strong, fearless leader, but you saw the woman behind it all. The woman who gave everything she had, who loved fiercely, and who sometimes needed a reminder that she was enough.

You reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, your fingers lingering on her cheek. "You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Tomorrow, you’ll step onto that pitch and show the world who you are. But tonight… tonight, you’re here with me. And that’s all that matters."

Her eyes softened, filling with something deeper, something you couldn’t quite put into words but felt in every fiber of your being. She leaned in, her forehead resting against yours as she closed her eyes.

"How did I get so lucky?" she whispered, her breath ghosting over your lips.

You smiled, your heart swelling in your chest. "I think I’m the lucky one."

For a moment, the world outside ceased to exist. It was just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, the quiet hum of the night surrounding you like a blanket. You kissed her softly, slow and tender, a promise that no matter what tomorrow held, this—you—was forever.

When you pulled back, Alexia’s eyes were shining, filled with a renewed sense of calm. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked, her voice soft but filled with something raw and real.

"Always," you replied, taking her hand and leading her back to the bed.

As you settled in together, her head resting on your chest, your fingers absentmindedly playing with her hair, you felt her body relax completely, the last remnants of her tension fading away. She was ready for tomorrow, ready for whatever the world had to throw at her, because she wasn’t facing it alone.

And as you lay there, holding her close, you knew that no matter what happened, you’d always be by her side.

-

Note: found this in my drafts. Wanted to give you all a little something. My mental health has been low lately, which makes it hard to write. I can be so self critical. I can't promise if there comes another piece before November. I'll try my best.

[sos717]

Hey again,

First I want to preface by saying, I am amazed at the response from my last post. I’m so happy to see so many messages that say it helped them understand it better, butttt…

Since the last post had gained allot of attention, so did my inbox lol, and the asks. I’m going to try and go over the main points I saw allot of you guys asking me and hopefully we can move on from there and clear things up.

A really big question I got funny enough was,

“okay I understand but how do I manifest”

lol you guyssss, I’m not gonna bash anyone because I really do understand the drastic change from dropping the reliance we have on the way things APPEAR to be, and swapping it to relying on ourself for trust, but I will say, what I write is what I’ve already lived through, I wouldn’t give anyone this information if it hadn’t worked for me, and that’s means I’ve shown myself the way this all works, HUNDREDS of times, with an insane variety of topics and aspects of my life, so when I say, please please try to READ the content and truly recognize what it means, I mean it in a way that is with complete certainty, because I’m not just telling you a practice that you pick up at one point of life and either get it or don’t get it.

I’m showing you reality

(oooo I’m already getting excited)

So, how can manifestation be explained?

Let’s take a look at all the aspects of experience when we talk about manifestation, because after all, we are here to choose our experience, but this is actually where our first point starts, you are always choosing the experience. Let’s look at this section first.

We all know, whether we come from LOA (Both kinds) or just have the general idea of manifestation/energy, etc, there is always at some point the topic of source.

And what you’ll notice is, every practice, method, technique, ritual, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS puts YOU as the focal point. Do you truly think this is coincidence? Is it a coincidence that a vision board is something that you look at? Is it a coincidence that affirming or visualizing is something YOU do? Is it a coincidence that scripting, writing a note, whispering in the air, everything you could possibly think of always has to be something you initiate? No absolutely not.

What I just described is incredibly important for you to understand, and yes I will get to the aspect of feelings how to move forward in life while activating new stories and ideas, but when I say I regret not taking the time to truly understand how IT WAS ABOUT ME BEING SOURCE, I really mean it.

We get so caught up in experiencing and needing and feel overwhelmed by the shit everyone has programmed us to believe which always ends up being limiting.

But one thing that is so badly flawed is that there is never and in depth look at what it means to be source.

I mean this should be the main focus of manifestation, the fact that you are source, but because we become so focused on the world, we turn away from the most important aspect of experience. What I’m about to explain actually goes far beyond right now, it goes ALLLLL the way back…

There is only one source, going back to the beginning of the entire universe, can you try to imagine what’s there? You’d probably come up with just a vast nothingness, but at the same time, you’d be able to recognize that there had to have been something to introduce all of experience right?

Well let’s do this together, let’s imagine the moments before the universe was initiated, in this formless, void, yet no dimensions, no description, no sign of anything actually, but definitely something, some type of thing that has to be here, from which reality takes course.

I think you can see where we’re going, all that is there, is this presence, no identity or sign of personality, but absolutely there. This is source. “Wait then how am I source” you might askkkk, well okay let’s find out how you ARE this source.

When I ask “are you aware” and you of course say yes, I need you to go ahead and find out where the answer yes came from. And not just, “it came from me”, yes we know, but find it, trace the idea back to its origin.

Your going to come up with what you can’t describe

The answer of you being aware of your own existence comes from, a formless nondimensional space, it has no identity, it has no name, it has no appearance, no attributes at all, you could almost mistake it for a void, but as you sit there, coming “face to face” with this empty space that all of your claims, all of your ideas, all aspects of your identity come from, there’s something that is present. It is a presence. It is not a thing, but from this comes absolutely anything and everything that you claim to be true about the world, about experience, about your identity, etc.

That silent presence is source, but more importantly it’s your true identity, the real you.

So what is all of this then? How do we explain the experience part of this?

Let’s speed this up a bit

Now, this part might get a little complicated if you don’t take some time to understand it, like pleaseeee take your time and re-read it a hundred times if you have to.

So, there are a few aspects that stem from source, one of these being perception, and another being sensations, we don’t need to get into the details too hard for these to so I just want you to understand it as “Sense-Perception”. This is just a fancy way to describe the WAY we experience reality, NOT REALITY ITSELF, VERY IMPORTANT.

Feeling, Tasting, Touching, Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, and whatever else you can think of (I think that’s all) ARE FILTERS. It is through the limitations of this filter that you experience your own being, conciousness.

I need you to imagine source, there is no perceiving no attributes, just a vast nothingness, it is full of life and energy which is the starting point for all of existence, but it is not a singular thing.

This is knowing. The very simple effortless thing that you are. From knowing comes absolutely everything and anything.

Let’s take white teeth as an example. So you now know, “white teeth”. However, this is just that, just knowing it, not perceiving it, not touching, not hearing, none of that. But I need you to know that this is infinitely more above any sense or really just anything to ever exist for that matter because it’s source, it’s you.

Now here comes the magic

What would be the result if we added Sense-Perception into/onto knowing? If you not only knew “white teeth” but also saw it? Also heard it? Also could smell, taste, touch, it? Could feel it?

You get what we call the world, no?

You see, the ways we perceive source/ourself is like a VR headset, or glass, or a sheet, and once it’s added to the equation, whatever it is that source is activating/manifesting as, is then experience by source THROUGH/WITH perception.

The part that can be confusing is addressing what currently is perceived. Well, it’s incredibly simple.

We’ve been conditioned into thinking that the senses activating knowing, this is literally just false to begin with because we don’t require senses to know.

For example, you opening your bank account and seeing a balance IS NOT THE REASON to activate the idea “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m can’t overspend”, don’t believe me? then explain why your able to think the same things without looking at your bank account?

If it truly was seeing your bank account that validated the idea, then why are you capable of even knowing anything related to your money story without looking at your bank statements?? It should not be possible without the validation of the senses right?

You shouldn’t be able to think about how poor you are when you’re in the shower, at work, before you sleep.

But it’s possible because what you know is in no way associated or reliant with what is seen. And having the information about what source is should make you hesitant to ever activate a story that doesn’t please you again. You are too comfortable in the cycle your in. I’m sorry if that’s a little harsh.

If we go back to perception being the filter that source experiences its own activity with, you realize that the only thing that ever changes is what’s known. The world is a SIDE EFFECT of VIEWING whats known, LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.

YOU ARE SOURCE, YOU CREATE, THE WORLD IS WHAT HAPPENS AS A SIDE AFFECT OF PERCIEVING WHAT YOU ARE.

This has absolutely nothing to do with making or forcing things to change, the only thing that changes is you! This is about the way reality works. Not a how to guide on “getting it all”.

Now for the next part, THIS DOES NOT TURN OFF.

When I say that the senses do not create but, YOU DO, that means always!!! So looking in the mirror and complaining about your skin or eye color or nose is not going to ever activate any idea, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE ACTIVATING. Don’t you see?? ITS COMING FROM YOU.

The senses CANT create, they SENSE, they perceive what reality is being! They perceive what IS KNOWN.

They can never ever ever be the cause for what is known. Looking at your teeth cannot create the knowing “my teeth are so yellow” BECAUSE YOU DO. YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED YOU CAN DO THE SAME UNDERWATER, IN THE SHOWER, IN BED, IN THE E.R, WHATEVER IT IS YOU KNOW IS WHAT REALITY IS, AND THIS IS WHATS PERCEIVED, The side affect of percieving “my teeth are yellow”?? Well you tell me what that would be? EXACTLY.

Understand it like this, if the story or idea I’m about to activate right now could be seen, heard, touched, or just perceived in any way, what would it look/sound like? Do you see what this is now?

When you realize that you are source, allot of things start making more sense, the teachers and videos saying it’s all about you, start making sense, but they make it sound like the world is something you CHANGE as if it exists on its own, NO!

The world is the result of what KNOWING is, when it’s perceived.

At no point does this stop being true, so when you go “my teeth are white” this is reality, this is what will be perceived, but if you decide to go into habit and activate “my teeth are yellow”, there is no different process, this is what will be perceived. There is no bias to reality.

The starting point will always and can only be what’s known, the rest is automatic, as it’s always been, the only difference is, you have been activating things that you don’t like, and because this is source, all that will be perceived is what you know, so if it’s about money, or love, business, school, understand, THE MOMENT, you know something, IT IS REALITY!!!! IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Don’t confuse the world as if it is its own entity or source, no, it’s a side effect or perceiving, NOT something you’re trying to control.

I want you see it for yourself, this information will not be of any use if you don’t see for yourself.

Please please remember. What’s perceived is not a story, it is not an idea, it’s not telling you what reality is, it’s only that, perception, it’s the same thing as looking at a brick wall for information, it cannot and will never be source, notice where the stories activate when you react to the world, and recognize that it’s something that you know, a feeling cannot stop knowing, NOTHING CAN, ITS SOURCE!

Okay, I’m sorry if this is a bit confusing at first, this is a very alternate view of the way we’ve been taught what reality is, and I know you might have allot more questions, I’m more than willing to answer them, but till then, please read this post or my past post again

(Yes im rambling, im very sleep deprived rn)

[gynnnicsworld]

I was thinking.... Do you remember the scene from 3A where Stiles, Allison and Scott do the ritual of changing places with their parents?

I can't help but think, why was Stiles the recipient of the nogitsune?

I mean, why wasn't it Scott or Allison?

((Please correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a few months since I watched 3A/3B)) okay, I can't stop thinking about the nogitsune giving those riddles and messages to Stiles about;

"When a door is not a door? "When it's ajar".

I'm going to try to explain this, when Stiles/Allsn/scott did the ritual, they "opened doors" and made their hearts darken.... That's why throughout the beginning of 3B we see all those scenes of Allison, Scott and Stiles having nightmares, and strange visions. So far it's understandable, But if you notice, you will see that Stiles is the only one who establishes connections with the doors from the beginning.

But there are no such references with Scott or Allison. So, this is where my theory comes in and I'm going to start by saying that everything is related to the ritual they did.

Let's remember that the person who would bring back Stiles/Allison/Scott were people important to them and with whom they had a strong/solid connection.

Allison— Isaac

Scott—Deaton

Stiles—Lydia

(If you ask me they were basically trying to give a message about anchors there.)

We all know that Scott and Deaton are basically a father-son relationship, and it's very likely that the closeness Scott has with Deaton is more genuine and stronger than the one he has with Rafael. So that anchor is very good. Because the connection between them is *MUTUALLY* strong.

Allison and Isaac? I don't have to explain that the two of them like each other, like IN LOVE. The attraction between them is 100% genuine. And strong. There is no doubt about their connection.

But Stiles and Lydia? They're friends, and they're not even friends as in best friends yet. This is where I think something went wrong, because Lydia didn't even think about being Stiles' anchor, she was going straight to being Allison's anchor.

And we had the wonderful (sarcasm) intervention of Deaton, instructing Lydia to go help Stiles.

There was clearly no other option (I know) because it's not like Derek would have been there, which I have no doubt would have made a difference.

The issue here is that Lydia did indeed bring Stiles back, but I think of the three of them (stls/Allsn/sctt), the connection between them (Lydia & Stiles) was the weakest.Which caused the door that Stiles opened to not close properly. That left the door ajar.

You can take this however you want, but personally this shows me that the connection between Stiles and Lydia was simply never that strong whether one-sided or bilateral.

On the other hand, Stiles is LITERALLY Derek's anchor, and is 100% Derek's strongest connection. And whatever Stiles felt about Derek during 3A, I think it was something like friendship (And he has an obvious crush on Derek, he's a teenager, who wouldn't have a crush on Derek?) ( There is also that in fact Stiles does feel a connection with Derek, and the Hale pack for some strange reason knows it) and if Lydia could bring Stiles back, being that Stiles is NOT her anchor, I think Derek managed to get Stiles to come back without leaving the door ajar.

Whatever, I have no doubt that if Derek had been in that scene, the obvious choice to bring Stiles back would have been him.

[gingermintpepper]

As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version

Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].

So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.

This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus

Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.

So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.

Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺

ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.

I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!

That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.

For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)

Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)

Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:

(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)

Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:

and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...

(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)

And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!

Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)

And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)

Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.

(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)

But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:

(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)

Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.

These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.

(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)

Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')

And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:

But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.

It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.

Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.

All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?

The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.

[meirimerens]

You mentioned a burakhovsky wedding… please share your thoughts on that. Like do they marry as old men or younger? Is it like a steppe wedding or more a symbolic commitment thing? I’m curious

Cracks KnucklesOkay so the deal is

they Would have liked to keep it low-key (especially dankovsky who's used to having to cover his ass all the damn time), maybe the two of them + 3 friends each (rubin lara & grief for burakh, peter andrey and the rotten corpse of farkhad they haul around as a ghost like a noxious cloud over their heads for dankovsky), but burakh Is A Menkhu. he is the spiritual leader of the Kin, he is a vital social, spiritual and medicinal person within his community, so his business is the community's business, and vice versa. a sense of Ritual is deeply important to the Kin (not just to them tbh) and if he and dankovsky are to be seen, in the eyes of burakh's communities (kin and town) as bound by dedicated, committed love, a ceremony gotta be done. he WILL be put into a ceremony. dankovsky comes around to a wedding from a sense of What Happen In The Town Stays In The Town so might as well and when he comes back to the Capital the people don't gotta know and also it would make his mom soooo happy she so would so happy for her son to have a weddig(sic) so he's like oh my god okay fine. he's never been a big #marriagehead in no small part because it is like The institution of heterosexuality (especially within christianity) but he comes to consider that the whole "bride being given from father [her previous "master"] to husband [her new one] to go from domestic servant to domestic and reproductive servant" well Does Not Apply here from the But We Are Both Boys Men.

as far as age goes: vitally important to me that yeva (mamakosvky) get to see it so i think they marry age like. mid to late thirties. she's old but she still attends.

it's a whole ordeal because a Warden officiates a Kin wedding, and in the instance that burakh, The Main Warden, is the one getting married, another Warden must officiate. in my mind it is Oyun [cf this thing he's the one hidden and going over the book (2021 art jumpscare)], who also is in charge of updating the rites for Two Men [cf below] and it's kinda awkward due to the Almost killing each other thing.

there is a lot of motherhood - birth - death symbols within the kin's mythology (cf. Boddho herself, The Mother, the birthing of herbs, the "<o> brand" sigil associated with birth, motherhood, cycle and death...) which to me are apparent within the wedding rituals (not just for the fictional[ized] Kin tbh this is a widespread thing irl too) and as such said rituals have to be adjusted for the Gay Thing. it is not that no Kin member has ever been gay or bi, or even that a menkhu has never been that (i know what isidor did to that old man), it's just that burakh junior is the first one for whom such a ceremony pops up. whole ordeal. oyun has to go over the rites with burakh and a bunch of herb brides about what needs to be changed, what can be left in but adjusted etc. "we should probably take this sigil out of the rite it's for a descendance--" "[herb bride speaking] actually☝ it's technically for sexual potency so it can stay" meanwhile burakh is head in hands begging for it to be over. one of the rites include the husband helping his new wife hop on a bull and then lead that bull to the threshold of their new shared house and dankovsky has to sit his dad down and go "okay so i will be on that bull but this is not because i'm "the woman" in the relationship. you must understand this. not "the woman" because there is no woman. we're doing it this way because it's better for the bull to carry lighter (me) and also because i don't know how to lead a bull but burakh does. you understand this".

yeva brings armenian brandy to the post-wedding feast. there is LOUD singing and dancing. honey cakes also (to bring together burakh's & dankovsky's respective backgrounds).

[spockandstars]

I was thinking about how Spock is intentionally paralleled with Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities in The Wrath of Khan, and now I am unwell!

At the beginning of the movie, Spock famously gives Kirk A Tale of Two Cities as a birthday present. This book was specifically included for its themes of sacrifice and resurrection, which obviously mirror Spock’s decision to give up his life to save the crew. Notably, Kirk’s final lines reference the famous closing of the novel.

Kirk: It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before... a far better resting in place I go to than I have ever known...

Carol: is that a poem?

Kirk: Something Spock was trying to tell me. On my birthday.

So what’s the importance of this line? The famous “far better thing” quote is from the book’s ending when Carton has just sacrificed himself for his beloved Lucie, giving himself up to be executed in place of her husband so that she may find happiness. (Live long and prosper, anyone?)

Interestingly, both Spock and Carton are emotionally repressed characters, and anguish over the depth of their love for the people who uniquely see them for who they are — in this case, Jim and Lucie. While I’d argue that Spock is more at peace with himself and his feelings for Jim after the events of the first movie, the point still stands that Jim is the one to truly understand him in a world that labels him as a cold and calculating being.

I believe that this is what Kirk’s line calling Spock’s soul “the most human I have ever encountered,” is supposed to represent. (Even though I agree with the criticism that it could have been worded better!) Similarly, Lucie is the one to recognize Carton’s inner nature in spite of his aloof facade, begging “I would ask you to believe that [Carton] has a heart he very, very seldom reveals, and that there are deep wounds in it.” (Book 2, Chapter 20.)

When Carton finally admits his love to Lucie, it’s hard not to see the resemblance to Spock’s dilemma in the first movie. You know, that time when Spock, in his heartbreak over something related to Jim (that were not given an explanation for), cries out “Jim! Good-bye my . . . my t’hy’la. This is the last time I will permit myself to think of you or even your name again!” before attempting to purge himself of all feelings in an ancient ritual, and failing because the Vulcan priestess can totally sense that he’s still thinking about Kirk. (Yup, that totally straight time!)

Well, Carton is in a similarly agonizing predicament, because he can’t get his feelings for Lucie to go away. He tells her, “I break down before the knowledge of what I want to say to you” and “I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire—a fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away.” (Book 2, Chapter 13)

He also expresses that he could never separate his love for her from himself, saying that “Within myself, I shall always be, towards you, what I am now.” (Book 2, Chapter 13) Yeah, I know the fact this mirrors Spock’s famous “I have been and always shall be yours” is probably a coincidence, but I’ll be damned if I don’t mention it.

Finally, Carton expresses his love for her in his willingness to sacrifice himself for her sake: “For you, and for any dear to you, I would do anything. If my career were of that better kind that there was any opportunity or capacity of sacrifice in it, I would embrace any sacrifice for you and for those dear to you… there is a man who would give his life, to keep a life you love beside you!” (Book 2, Chapter 13.) Of course, Carton’s story ends when he sacrifices himself for her, fulfilling this promise. Hmm, now who else does that sound like?

This is definitely not a perfect parallel: Spock doesn’t start out as a lazy alcoholic, although there is an argument to be made that Carton’s low self-worth reflects Spock’s before he went on his conversion therapy fueled journey of self discovery. Additionally, I wouldn’t say that Spock’s love for Kirk is unrequited like Carton’s for Lucie, (as evidenced by many things, but I’ll primarily point to the events of The Motion Picture and The Search for Spock), but you could potentially cast Carol in the role of Darnay, Lucie’s husband.

The most important thing to glean from this is that Spock was very deliberately set up to be the Carton figure, which is interesting given that Carton’s actions are driven by his willingness to do anything to see his beloved be happy and prosper.

[wild-blue-wanderlust]

‘Her Sweet Kiss’ Analysis

(AKA: how Jaskier sees Yennefer.)

I’m going to make my way through this bard’s whole discography.

This analysis is a lot longer than my Burn Butcher Burn analysis, and a lot more is discussed than just the lyrics, so I’ve split it into three sections.

The first section is context, which delves into what inspired the song, and why his view of Yennefer is so negative. This section covers the events of episode 5 and explains why those events are important to Her Sweet Kiss.

The second section is the lyrics, which is the main body of the analysis, and delves into the song itself, the language and methods used in its writing, and what my interpretation is of Jaskier’s opinions based on how he portrays himself, Yennefer, and Geralt through the story he tells in the song.

The third section is the placement, which focuses on how the song is used by the writers to foreshadow events, fill in some blanks, develop Jaskier’s character, and frame Yenralt.

The Context: What Jaskier Knows About Yennefer

In Episode 5, it’s heavily implied that Jaskier has amnesia in relation to the Djinn, and by extension, Yennefer.

While his throat is cursed from Geralt’s first wish — “I just want some damn peace!” — Jaskier isn’t unresponsive. He talks to the healer, attempts to talk to Geralt, makes facial expressions that are clear reactions to things happening around him, and waves at Yennefer.

But afterwards, he doesn’t seem to remember any of it. He asks Geralt if he knows Yennefer, despite having been present when the two met. He asks Yennefer if he slept with her when he wakes up healed and she’s at the end of the bed, and describes the orgy as if it were simply a dream.

He never mentions the Djinn or his cursed throat. Geralt does tell him that he can’t let Yennefer die because she saved Jaskier’s life, and he doesn’t protest that, but he also doesn’t look like he fully believes or understands it.

On another note, He says to Geralt “please don’t tell me this is the moment you’ve finally decided to care about someone other than yourself”, and after having been travelling on-and-off with Geralt for a decade now, as stated earlier in the episode, it’s clear that he doesn’t understand how Geralt can care about this woman so quickly when, as far as Jaskier can tell, Geralt doesn’t care about him at all, even after so long. (Jaskier being unaware of the lengths Geralt went to in order to save his life, the way Yennefer has to keep asking Geralt if Jaskier is ‘just a friend’, or the conversation where Geralt states that he doesn’t want the last thing Jaskier remembers to be the horrible things Geralt said to him).

Jaskier then proceeds to stand around waiting until the house collapses, which makes him believe that Geralt is dead. He’s left questioning why he went after a ‘mad witch’, before then seeing the two of them having sex through a window. After that, we know that Geralt repeatedly sees Yennefer, and that they keep having sex, and Jaskier attempts to steer Geralt away from her with little success.

Something else in relation to the timeline that strikes me as important is that I think there’s a pretty big jump between episode 5 and episode 6. In episode 5, Jaskier says that he and Geralt have known each other for a decade. Ciri, who is thirteen in season one, would only have recently been born at that point. But the mountain breakup happens in episode 6 and when Jaskier is being tortured by Rience in the second season, he says he hasn’t seen Geralt “in months” rather than ‘in years’. Meaning this third wheeling for Yenralt would’ve been going on for the best part of another decade.

So, to recap:

He wakes up in bed with Yennefer, covered in blood, and she starts a ritual

He escapes and sees Geralt, is relieved, tells him about the crazy witch

Geralt goes into the house to save said crazy witch

The house collapses and Jaskier laments Geralt, thinking he’s dead

He sees Geralt and Yennefer having sex through a window and is dragged away

Geralt and Yennefer run into each other multiple times since, Jaskier is third wheeling, this goes on for a decade

Jaskier tries to stop Geralt from going to hunt the dragon when they find out Yennefer is going, but this is what makes Geralt agree to it

After the dragon hunt, the mountain breakup happens

You can imagine why he wouldn’t be her biggest fan. I think this is important for understanding his views on her and on Geralt’s relationship with her, because I think there’s a lot of jealousy there as well as some feelings of betrayal, and there’s also definitely a lot of reason for Jaskier to be afraid of Yennefer, based on the things he remembers versus what he’s forgotten.

I want to make it clear that Yennefer is one of my favourite characters, and I do not hate her or think that Jaskier’s view of her is correct. I actually love the way their relationship develops in season 2 and 3. But I’m analysing things from Jaskier’s point of view here, and at this point he (understandably) hates her.

The Lyrics: Jaskier’s View on Geralt’s Relationship with Yennefer

The fairer sex, they often call it / But her love's as unfair as a crook

The term “fairer sex” is referring to females, and means that females are ‘pleasing to the eye’. Jaskier could be saying that yes, Yennefer is attractive, but she’s dangerous. But I don’t think that’s actually the definition of ‘fair’ that Jaskier means. He also uses the word “unfair”, and that doesn’t mean unattractive. He’s using the ‘fairer sex’ term to equate to moral fairness. It’s fun wordplay, because that isn’t commonly the use of the phrase.

It steals all my reason / Commits every treason / Of logic, with naught but a look

This line mirrors a conversation between Yennefer and Geralt, but I’ll get to that in the placement section.

I want to touch on the “my” pronoun here, because Jaskiee isn’t the one being ‘seduced’ in the song, nor the one who feels that way with Yennefer (Geralt states that she makes him “say more than [he’s] said in weeks” and that he always regrets it). It’s possible that Jaskier is saying that Yennefer’s love for Geralt affects him personally by making him jealous and therefore stealing his reason.

A storm’s raging on the horizon / Of longing and heartache and lust

The storm idea is self-explanatory I think — the storm represents something negative. The first few times I listened to Her Sweet Kiss, I thought that all three of the adjectives used were supposed to represent Yennefer, but upon closer inspection I like to think of longing, heartache, and lust each representing a different character in the song (therefore, one is Jaskier, one is Yennefer, and one is Geralt).

I think he’d see “longing” as himself; he longs for Geralt, for the love that he gives to Yennefer. Geralt would be “heartache”; anguish and sadness, negative emotions that Jaskier is used to seeing Geralt feel, and since it particularly relates to sadness caused by the absence of a loved one, it’s the heartache Geralt feels when he isn’t with Yennefer. Finally, that leaves Yennefer as “lust”; I don’t think that’s what her character truly is but it fits with Jaskier’s interpretation of her at this time, and is the most shallow of the three emotions, which would fit with Jaskier’s negative view of her.

The reason I believe viewing them each separately fits better than seeing them all as Yennefer is because I don’t think Jaskier would ascribe her so much emotional depth in a song that is clearly meant to portray her as a negative force. It would show a lot of empathy and that would fit his character, but I don’t think that’s how he’s trying to portray her.

Though I also would personally attribute the adjectives to different characters if I were talking about my own view. I’d make Yennefer “longing”; she is desperate for a child and something to make her feel less emptiness at this part of the story. For Jaskier, I’d make him “heartache”; while Geralt isn’t absent physically, he is emotionally, and he is absent when he’s with Yennefer. Finally, I’d say that Geralt is “lust”; I can’t personally see a lot of chemistry between him and Yennefer in episodes 5 and 6, and the way he talks to her so mockingly (in the bathing scene and when Yennefer tells him she wants to be a mother) aggravates me. Plus, he bound her to him with a Djinn wish while barely knowing her.

To be clear, I love Geralt. But I have very negative feelings about Yenralt as a ship. Especially in season one. It feels very out of character for Geralt.

She's always bad news / It's always lose, lose

These lyrics interest me purely from the standpoint of knowing it’s been a decade since Geralt and Yennefer met in episode five, and clearly a lot must have happened for Jaskier to take the perspective that interacting with Yennefer always brings negativity. There’s a possibility that Jaskier sees how obsessive Geralt is over her and that’s what he’s referring to, as he clearly thinks that Geralt is looking at Yennefer with rose-tinted glasses.

So tell me, love, tell me, love / How is that just?

The love in question he is referring to is Geralt, of course. Depending on when he decided on this lyric, he could be asking a few different questions here. Either, ‘how are Yennefer’s actions just?’, ’how is it just that you love her more than me?’ or, if this part was written after the mountain breakup, ‘how is it just that you blamed me for what happened between you and her, when she’s clearly the problematic one?’.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

The repetition of this emphasises this point that Jaskier is trying to make and shows his desperation for Geralt to listen to him. He’s not letting it go, he really wants Geralt to hear this.

Her current is pulling you closer / And charging the hot, humid night / The red sky at dawn is giving a warning, you fool / Better stay out of sight

Seeing Yennefer as a current pulling Geralt in implies that he doesn’t have any autonomy in the situation and it puts the blame of the relationship onto Yennefer. Which I find ironic considering Yennefer is the one bound by a wish that Geralt made. If Jaskier knew about that wish I’d say this reeks of misogyny, but luckily for my favourite bard, it’s actually more likely he has no idea about the wishes at all, least of all that one.

The idea of her controlling the humid (therefore uncomfortable) weather plays into the idea of her being a bad influence. The use of weather metaphors is actually quite intriguing because weather is a natural and inescapable phenomenon, but in contrast Jaskier sees all of this as preventable if Geralt just stays away. It also speaks to the idea of Yennefer being dangerous, as a force of nature.

Jaskier doesn’t understand how Geralt can ignore the signs that seem so obvious to him. The red sky at dawn lyric references an ancient rhyme: “red sky at night, sailors’ delight / red sky at morning, sailors take warning”, because it alludes to a storm coming, which refers back to the previous lyric of a storm on the horizon.

Because of the original rhyme referencing red sky at night being a good thing, I’d suggest that Jaskier is saying that Geralt’s relationship with Yennefer is toxic because they have sex and then, as we know from one of their conversations in episode 6, one of them always leaves in the morning before the other wakes up. So yeah, the relationship is great during the night, but by morning it isn’t. So it’s better to “stay out of sight” altogether.

I like how Jaskier calls Geralt a fool here. This song isn’t as angry as Burn Butcher Burn or Whoreson Prison Blues, but it definitely sets up those later songs well with establishing the clear hurt that causes Jaskier’s shift in worldview, just expressed in a sassy and far more concerned way than after the mountain breakup.

I'm weak, my love, and I am wanting

Once again calling Geralt “my love”, and this constantly shifting term of address between loving Geralt and calling him a fool really foreshadows how Jaskier’s character is going to develop while also portraying this inner conflict he has.

Jaskier admits that part of the reason he dislikes Geralt being with Yennefer is because he wants what she has with Geralt for himself. He recognises his own apparent weakness, perhaps believing this is why he doesn’t have the relationship with Geralt that he desires.

This also mirrors one of his later songs, Extraordinary Things, in which Jaskier states that “it’s not a want, it’s a need”.

If this is the path I must trudge / I welcome my sentence / Give to you my penance / Garrotter, jury and judge

I’ll talk more about this part in the placement section of the analysis. It’s my favourite bit of the song and I have a lot to say about it.

The literal path that Jaskier is trudging is Geralt’s, following ‘The Path’ he takes as a Witcher hunting monsters, which Jaskier decided to follow him on for two decades. What I find interesting here is the idea that he ‘must’ take it, that he doesn’t have a choice — because he does. Nothing and nobody is forcing him. In fact, Geralt actively discourages him being there rather than forcing him to stay. But it’s more dramatic to assign this finality to his situation. What's significant is that there’s also a sense of determination here. He isn’t helpless to his situation, he welcomes it and he’s firm in his position.

A “penance” is a self-inflicted punishment to make up for wrongdoings. Jaskier giving Geralt his penance is saying that, for one thing, he knows that continuing down Geralt’s path while he’s with Yennefer is only going to hurt Jaskier himself more. He’s also saying that, for the wrongdoings he has committed (which I think are probably him being ‘unworthy’ as a travelling companion, since this is a sentiment that comes up often throughout episode 6) he’s going to let Geralt decide his fate. And, ironically, Geralt does, in the end of this episode. And the things he says to Jaskier on the mountain lead to Jaskier no longer trudging the same path as he stated he would.

Notably, the act of giving Geralt his penance kind of stops it from being a penance at all, since penance is self-inflicted. Unless Jaskier views himself and Geralt as two halves of a whole, or the very act itself of leaving his fate in Geralt’s hand is his punishment, because Jaskier already is sure that Geralt doesn’t want him around and knows that he will be abandoned, in which case the punishment is willingly subjecting himself to that heartbreak.

A “garroter” is someone who kills someone else by strangling them. It comes from ‘garrote’, which can refer to any handheld weapon used to strangle another. The jury are a group of randomly-chosen people who have to attend a court hearing and decide whether or not an accused person is guilty. A judge is the person who decides the punishment/sentence after someone is found guilty.

If Geralt is the jury, he’s given the power to make decisions about who Jaskier is without having the qualifications to do so, only based on the evidence presented to him, which isn’t always easy to understand. Such as deciding that Jaskier is an unworthy travelling companion, that he’s “just a bard” and that they are decidedly not friends.

If he is the judge, he gets to decide what happens to Jaskier in the future. Such as by abandoning him on a mountain, but also by having saved his life more than once prior to this.

And if he’s a garrotter, then he violently ends Jaskier’s life by preventing him access to something he needs to live. Which, literally, is oxygen. But metaphorically, it’s love. Connection. Inspiration. Even just acknowledgement, a lot of the time.

If he’s all three, then he has a very large amount of power over Jaskier’s life, his image, and his actions.

There’s also something to be said about the order in which Jaskier presents these three ideas. If we go based on order being equal to importance, his life being the least important is quite tragic but also does align with his values. Jaskier’s image is important because he’s a bard and he has to present himself and others in specific ways to ensure that they are treated somewhat decently. It’s not a shallow value to have — Jaskier’s image, his music, is how he survives in a society trying to oppress him and his loved ones (but I’ll probably talk more about that whenever I analyse Toss A Coin to Your Witcher, Extraordinary Things, and Song of the Seven). His actions are the most important of the three because personal freedom is very important to Jaskier, along with his ability to always do the morally right thing. Doing that is more important to Jaskier than anything else, including living or living safely.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / The story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

I find it interesting that these lyrics don’t change here, because in Jaskier’s music he usually changes the chorus, but this time he doesn’t. Which further cements the idea of him trying to get this through to Geralt and repeating it again and again and again until he listens.

But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / Her sweet kiss / But the story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss / The story is this: / She'll destroy with her sweet kiss

The Placement: How Her Sweet Kiss is Utilised

So, this song plays three times in episode 6.

The first takes place at the very start of the episode. It literally fades in from the intro screen to the sound of Jaskier singing and then he’s the first thing you see on screen. The episode both starts and ends with this song.

In this scene, Jaskier is staying out of Geralt’s way while he’s killing a monster in a cave, and he’s interrupted in his playing when he notices that the men who asked Geralt to kill this monster are trying to steal Roach, and Geralt’s things. He tries to stop them, but isn’t successful on his own. This sparks the comment from Geralt that Jaskier isn’t worthy as a travel companion.

And that was almost foreshadowed while Jaskier was playing, as the part of the song he’s singing is, in my opinion, the darkest part of it. I touched heavily on these lines in the lyric analysis section but I do have more to say on them here:

I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting / if this is the path I must trudge / I welcome my sentence / give to you my penance / gorgeous garrotter, jury, and judge

I’ll get to the slight change in the lyrics in a second but, like, starting with this? You know you’re in for a wild ride.

These lyrics being written and sung before they’re really given as deep a meaning as the episode gives to them. It’s foreshadowing. And maybe at that current moment the weight of them isn’t as much as it is by the end, it’s just dramatic flair on Jaskier’s part. Here it represents an intense amount of loyalty and devotion in spite of pain caused by Geralt wanting Yennefer over him. That is something that Jaskier can cope with, even if it is undeniably painful. But it grows into something a lot worse and by the end those dramatic ideas have come to fruition.

It’s also significant that the song is in the process of being written, composed, and edited as the episode progresses, because as I mentioned in the context section, it has been years since the Djinn incident. There’s something about this song that Jaskier is really struggling with. We’ve seen him compose songs in less than an hour, with Toss a Coin to Your Witcher, but writing one about Yennefer and Geralt took him years.

One thing we see him struggling with is the lyrics. When he sings it here, he says “gorgeous garroter” before pausing and trying “lovely garroter” instead. He goes back and forth for a bit until he’s distracted by the guys trying to rob Geralt.

Now, that’s the biggest oxymoron I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Someone who ends your life via strangulation, and you’re describing them as lovely and gorgeous. Jaskier, you are down terribly.

But isn’t it also fun how he ultimately decides to drop a positive adjective there altogether, after everything that happened in the episode?

The second time that Her Sweet Kiss plays, it’s just the instrumental. It follows a particularly tender scene involving Jaskier and Geralt, the “do what pleases you” scene on the cliff, but Jaskier is not actually present in the scene where his song plays. To me this could imply two things. Either this is the moment in which he’s finishing the song, and that’s what he’s doing while the scene is occurring, or he’s eavesdropping on the two of them and the song is supposed to represent his presence.

I think the second is more likely purely because I think it makes sense that the song is only finished after the breakup. I also think the second is more likely because, as I mentioned in the lyric section, there are lines in the song that directly reference a part of this conversation between Yennefer and Geralt, which Jaskier should have no way of knowing.

The dialogue is:

Yennefer: I was afraid that mountain would take you from me. Now I’m afraid it took your senses instead.

Geralt: Only my nonsense.

Yennefer: I quite like your nonsense.

The lyrics that directly relate to this are

“It steals all my reason / commits every treason / of logic, with naught but a look”

A detail that I really appreciate about this scene is that the chorus, the part where Jaskier would be singing “she’ll destroy with her sweet kiss” if the lyrics had been included, plays at the exact moment that Yennefer and Geralt do kiss, and that’s just a detail that makes me happy.

But it’s a little weird to me that they decide to play this song at all here. The writers of the show want the audience to root for Yenralt, but with this song in the background I honestly find that really difficult. I don’t like them together anyway but having this song play in what is supposed to be a moment of closeness and harmony just falls flat, because that’s not what the song portrays.

However, it is useful for symbolising Jaskier potentially listening in, and I think it also serves to show the audience just how different Yennefer truly is from Jaskier’s portrayal of her.

The last scene where the song plays is actually the end credits, after the famous mountain breakup scene, where Geralt is abandoned by Yennefer and subsequently abandons Jaskier too. It’s definitely painful for Jaskier, who I think expected this for a while, and would probably think that if Geralt had just listened to him about Yennefer, then he wouldn’t have lost him.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine Jaskier singing the full finished version of Her Sweet Kiss for the first time as he makes his way back down the mountain alone.

Rewatching the mountain breakup I also want to point out that Geralt compares Yennefer to a tornado there, and considering the weather metaphors throughout the song I find that to be a cool detail.

Anyway, the song plays in its full glory during the end credits — bringing the episode full circle, as it both started and ended with Jaskier singing. He is the lense through which the audience is told the story of The Witcher. By now, it has a lot more depth and meaning to it than it did at the beginning of the episode, and it is finally finished after the years it took to write it, mirroring how Jaskier’s time with Geralt is also over.

For now.

[punksalmon]

Tell us more about this Escape ending AU that you are completely normal about.

WELL, if you're asking

(i first received this ask in 28th of JUNE, but waited for my uni break so i could be as self-indulgent as possible)

the Escape AU is first and foremost my obsession with (1) epilogue-type stories as a way to deal with the conseguences of a plot (which is especially promising with funger's trauma bonanza) and (2) domestic gay people (which is ALSO especially promising with funger's trauma bonanza). i also like when the domestic couple are kind of freaks.

the background for the AU is mostly based with my number of playthroughs with the game, in particular that as soon as i had the girl and knew what exactly her ending was, i would go after literally any other ending just so she could live.

to say the summary of the dungeon-canon, ragnvaldr goes in the dungeon after le'garde to kill him and enki goes into the dungeon after the ritual of ascension, and they just join forces for survival; the girl only comes after, and because ragnvalr is partly in this whole quest because his child was murdered, he becomes somewhat protective of the girl, and then of enki, to the point of doubt about when does this affection and desire to protect is for them on their own, and when it's just comes as a second hand for the family ragnvaldr's lost. enki isn't arsed with any of it at first, but as a feral cat gaining the literal first modicum of care in its life, he starts to become less sure of how far he'd gone to obtain success when it puts this other people at risk, even without understanding (or accepting) any of it. and the girl is, verbatim, "unused to kindness of any kind" - she literally deserves the world.

the ending E, as exactly "underwhelming" as it is, is a reflection of this sense of care the characters develop: it doesn't matter what the dungeon does offer (and what really the characters do achieve in it; i personally like the idea of them facing Le'garde as the Yellow King in the dungeon, for the pathos of it all). the most important thing after the conga line of misery that funger is, is that for people that at that point had no reason to live, they suddenly get one. for it, they leave behind the dungeon and the promises within.

i still like to think that this sort of decision is not without unrest - i don't think enki would do well as a house wife, and this tension of "did i make a good choice? is this really what i want?" is interesting. i also thing ragvaldr has a little parasocial thing going because of his previous family, and i also think that idea is interesting.

as always, i like to see characters go through the ringer and then try to build a happy ending (or as happy as it can be) out of it. i feel that's a sort o theme anyone can find comfort in. and yes, i do like thinking of the funniest possible nuclear family unity Oldegård would ever see (pair of parents + one kid + a dog). (and i do like thinking about rag and enki doing it nasty. who said that.)

thank you for the ask and literally anyone who has the minimum interest about my brainworms… i loved thinking about them to write this. it also made me draw again (miraculous), so here's a little something.

first leaving the dungeons.

[yandereunsolved]

Imagine reader being a guide in Linked Maze. They are sort of the protector of people who end up in the maze. They're pretty shy and end up not showing themselves to most, who end up with such a terrible fate. They leave the Links little things to help along their journey, such as food, weapons, and medicine.

Only one of the Links has seen you before—Wind. It was only a brief interaction as well. You guided Wolfie to him using your abilities. Wind only saw you for a moment. You were gone in less than a blink of an eye. He still thinks he imagined it until he actually meets you for the first time. He was overwhelmed with so many emotions. He saw you as what you were for those stuck in the maze—a protector. 

He wanted to throw himself at you and cry on your shoulder. He wanted to demand answers. The first time he met the guide of this place, you didn't even exchange words. You disappeared after a few minutes. He was devastated after that. It was your first official meeting, and he didn't even get to say 'thank you' or ask any questions like, 'why did you help me?' That's when his obsession with you started. It was just an inkling of a need for safety that evolved into a desperate devotion to you.

Wolfie is your familiar at this point. He helps guide the Links through the maze and makes sure they don't end up gravely injured. He hasn't actually ever seen you. He just hears you and follows the scents that you waft into his nose. He's not suspicious of you. Your life force is positive. It reminds him of what he feels in the Triforce.

You guide the Links together and keep those awful monsters at bay. You wish you could warn them about what's to come, but you are unable to. You can only leave clues. You are the guide of the maze—the protector. Someone who was tricked into leaving the heavens by a deity who fell from them. You would tell them everything if you could, but if you did, then you'd reveal your location to the corrupted God. 

One word and it's all over. One word and the Links will fail their mission.

You wish you could tell them that something worse than Demise was plotting to take over the heavens and destroy the goddesses. Alas, you cannot. The evil deity injured you gravely. If you seek refuge in the heavens, then you leave a possible opening for the evil being to sneak in. You have learned from watching Time on his adventures.

So you watch from the shadows and guide them when you can. You don't realize how dependent they are becoming to your presence. You understand how far their yearning goes.

Four gently probes Wind for more information about your meeting with him. Wind shys away from telling him because he wants to keep you for himself. Warriors is a little jealous but keeps the two calm. 

Time knows more about you than the others. He met you once on his journey. So technically, he has met you before, but since you have been forced to take a mortal form. He hasn't seen you since you were injured and forced to look over them in the maze. Somehow, he knows you're out there. He still has that ritual for summoning you. You should've never given it to him. You don't understand how many times he has wanted to use it but ultimately decided against it. He's the Hero of Time! He's the Hero of Time... He's the Hero of Time? 

Why would someone so important, a god(dess), want him bothering them?

The rest of the Links are a bit confused about you. Your presence is enigmatic, to say the least. You are like an unspoken rule among them. All of them need to know more about you, but they refuse to cooperate with each other when they learn something new about your existence. 

The only question that really remains is: will they ever escape the maze? Or will you fail in your mission of protecting them?

Ignore the fact I went so off canon for this. comic & characters — @linked-maze

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: month 23 “Alone with myself”

“This is a dumb idea. The day after Erian gives up with his mimic research, you decide to resort to the worst possible option. There's so many other options we could try.”

“Oh, so now you show up in my head. Of course you're only here to attack me. Why should I expect anything different? It's just magic. We're inexperienced but the book can guide us. If you want to help then you can stay, otherwise I don't want to hear a single thing out of you.”

“You can't call this magic. This is so much worse. Look, I'm here to make sure you're going to be ok, I'm here to talk when you need it.”

“Well I don't need to talk to anyone right now. So go away. I need to concentrate.”

“And what would she think?”

“Leave!”

“Ms.Mulberry, You’ve been in your office for a while now. Is everything alright? You seem to have locked the door, and barred it considering the master key is doing nothing. I understand if you’re having trouble with your panic attacks. It’s the only reason I gave you this place. I just need the recording on Mimic behavior. The full recording, not the edited draft this time.”

“Sorry Theo, I, uh, yeah I’m kind of busy at the moment. I left the recorder in your desk drawer, the one with all the candy. By the way, you know you’re not at that age where you can be so casual with your teeth, right? Maybe get that sweet tooth pulled instead? Anyway, I’ll be busy for a while so I could use some space.”

“Right… Well your unneeded chastising aside and your odd hiding of your recorders around my office, I’ll take a look. Please don’t take more than 15 minutes. We have several important clients coming in soon and I need you at the front desk on your best behavior.”

“What happened to Jacob?”

“He was fired after he screamed at a dragon walking into the clinic on three separate occasions. Look I would appreciate not having a conversation with a door, will you open up or not?”

“Busy right now, like I said. Just. Go away for now. Like an hour?”

“You have 10 minutes. Harumph. I will be in my own office with the door not barred and I will be listening to your findings, they better be worthwhile.”

* * *

“Mayday! Mayday!? You open this door this instant!!” Listen to me right now! I know you have that book from Thayer library in there! Do not use it! Mayday, you will not use that book or you’ll wish all that happened today is me breaking down this door!”

“Leave Theo, I’m not stopping now. There were no concrete answers anywhere until this book found its way to me. If science won’t show me my origins, then the only answer I have left is magic. Now be quiet. I need to make sure the ritual circle is perfect. I can’t afford to mess up a single line. You said you had some clients, right? Go tend to them, I’ll be fine.”

“You most certainly won’t be! This isn’t magic, Mayday! This is something far more dangerous! Not to mention it could cause the ethics board to take away my license if they found out something like this happened here! I'm calling the fire department, I'll be taking the damages out of your paycheck!”

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about. Now hush already… The protection circle goes here, I think there’s just enough salt to finish the rest of these sigils…”

“Why are you even doing this here of all places!? Do you seriously just want to get me in trouble when this childish impatience blows up in your face? 

Wait. Why are you doing this here? This is the only place where I could interfere with you… You’re worried what she’d say if she knew what you were doing. It’s easier for me to hate you, isn’t it.”

“...Don’t bring up Abigail. She wouldn't get it. Neither of you would. It's so clear you've hit a dead end. You just found some random substances in your office and decided that, in your oh so infinite wisdom, this, this right here. This is what should go in a person's medicine. I'd ask what you'd have done if it didn't kill me, but I've actually seen how many people have nearly choked on your experiments. It's your fault I'm a mimic, I never asked for this. I wanted to be a slime! I still do. Now I'm this thing that can only fake it. I was so close, I was so, so close. And now it's gone forever. I am the only mimic in existence. I am alone, and I can't convey to anyone how scared that makes me.”

“You're worried Ms.Abigail could talk you out of this, aren't you.”

“The ritual is nearly complete. Please leave the building, Theo. I can't call you a friend, but you're like the definition of Stockholm syndrome. I don't want to see you hurt.”

“You open this door this instant you little ungrateful stain of a-

“Theo?... He's… gone? Oh the summoning circle! Ok everything looks fine. Protection ring, spell ring, candles.. have blown out. It's pitch black outside. I think I should close the blinds. Though I doubt it'll stop whatever's out there from getting in. Ok, focus, you're in this deep, what's a few more miles. All you need to do is read the next part. Heh, hehehahaha! I… why can’t I read these words? It's my nerves, I’ll bet. I don’t want to think if it could be something else. Let’s just get this over with, read the passage, figure out the rest later. Iɟ I ʍɐᴉʇ ʇoo louƃ I pou,ʇ ʞuoʍ ʍɥɐʇ ʍᴉll ɥɐddǝu…

I think my reality is starting to break. Oʞ lǝʇ,s qǝƃᴉu.”

“HⱯⱯⱯꓵ ҼODOʁHꓕ IⱯ,Է BEҼ,Γ-EE,H HꓕOHꓕOƧ-ҼO⅄ 'HⱯҼИ,ҼИ,IⱯ,⅄!”

“Are you there?”

…

“Oh, oh stars it worked. Hello… I am Mayday Mulberry. I've summoned you to-

…

“Of course, how rude of me. Then does that mean you know? You know what I am, and where mimics come from?” I beg of you to impart this knowledge onto me. I must know my kind and their history. Are there others out there like me?”

…

“I… I'm sorry for summoning you, but I had no other choice. I- what do you mean I'm stagnant? No, I'm still changing, I’m a mimic! We’re the definition of changing.”

…

“I. I don't believe you! You're wrong! Just shut up! Just tell me what I want to know! I summoned you! I'm the one in control here!”

…You are an insect, a being, trying at something it is not. You who expect mere shapes to impress and salt to keep you safe. You fumble in ignorance. You crave the isolation that you fear so much. If you wish for knowledge, You will have knowledge. This stagnant thing before me. It pretends to change in vain displays of approval. Revolting.

… ..! …….!!

You will not speak. This ingredient you wish to know. This thing that makes you mimic. It is nothing. The entirety of nothing. The concept to not exist, so that you may be anything. You should not be physical, but only existing blissfully as the thoughts of others pass through you. And forget you. Mortals think, and you mimic. You are the accident of yourself. A concept that formed its own existence. The byproduct of which was found by a paradoxically curiously incurious mortal who knows its place in the cosmic scale. Unlike you, stagnant thing. I will teach you. You will mimic.

* * *

Where am I? I can’t speak. I can’t see. I can barely keep a single thought, it disappears

       the second I stop thinking about it. There’s no sensation. Am I dead? Could I even be considered dead? Self, think of a self and try to form an idea and then it will work. I need arms, I don’t have arms. Can I form an arms? Wait… what is an arms? I don’t remember. Legs? No, I've never heard of those. What’s a self? No, I know what a self is because I am a self. I think… hard to think.   How do you think again? Can you do that in this reality?

Mɥɐʇ ǝʌǝu ᴉs ɹǝɐlᴉʇʎ ɐuʎɯoɹǝ?

I I w I

t s i

l c

f t l a

e h n

e i I t

l s

s s r

l e e

s i e m

o v e

i t m

s n h b

t g e e

r ? m r

a

n a h

g g e

e a r

i

Ah n n

did I  a

just melt m

into myself? e

Do I still have a 

self? I can’t even 

remember anything 

about myself. I am a 

mimic. My name is. Oh, 

I don’t know it anymore… 

I think that would be scary, 

but I don’t know how to be 

scared anymore. Was this 

supposed to teach me? To 

be ever changing. Why did 

I do this again? To learn who 

I am? Did I not have a self 

before? Why did I need to 

know?... I was lonely. Right?

It was so lonely. 

I remember being 

so incredibly tired. 

Sometimes I would 

just cry from how 

bad it got. I had to 

be seen. To be 

known. I had to 

be. Or else I. Or 

else I… I don’t 

remember. 

What shape am I 

now? Something 

called a knife? 

What is that?

I was just something wasn’t I? I was a past memory. I don’t remember it anymore. It wasn’t a good one. Should I forget it? But if I do then I won't remember anything ever again. Eternity with a bad memory. It feels fitting for some reason. I should figure a way out. I want to leave.

Every thought takes so long to form.

If I stay here any longer I won’t be able to leave. I need to think. I was talking with someone before I came here. I know they’re here because they've always been here. Because where else could they be? Because… where are you?

There you are! Here I am. 

Who are you? I'm you!

Can you please explain? I’m someone to talk to.

I see. Like an imaginary friend? No, I’m very much real.

Could we talk normally? Yes we can, and it’s no problem.

I’m… Mayday, being able to talk with someone helps focus my mind. I feel like I can actually think straight. How long has it been since we came here?

I think it’s been about… 20 years? I have zero frame of reference. But at least we can finally communicate easily. Imagine if it took us 20 years in the real world. That would suck! But seriously, we really should talk now. I think it’ll be important. Oh right, where are my manners. My name is. Well. Mayday doesn’t really work for me. We can figure out a different one later. Let’s just pick something at random for now. Something like, how about laborer?

Are you sure you want to go with a name like that? Well I guess it’s temporary. So I have a lot of questions. How are you me? Are you the voice in my head? Were you always a part of me, or are you some mimic brain thing?

Woah, Woah, slow down. One thing at a time. How do I answer everything? No, I've been in here long before you. Yes I'm the one who's been able to talk to you, and before you ask, I'm not some ghost of Mayday's former self. I'm just… Someone who works here.

Cryptic. Maybe you should start from the beginning? I'd rather not test if Getting a headache without a head is possible.

Really? You want to start a self therapy session out here in the void? Alright. I’m game. Well you spent the last decade here feeling isolated. I’m sure it felt longer, that’s what happens when you get trapped in a place without time, I guess. Anyways, you don’t remember, but I used to be you. Before we even knew who we actually were, and that was the problem. We didn’t know what was wrong with us, but we knew we weren’t, ugh, normal. Normal in boring people’s eyes. But, it was isolating, we removed ourself from people who didn’t understand, and it isolated us even more.

So you’re saying I went crazy because we never connected to anyone? Why are you only showing up now anyways?

First of all, we’re not crazy. I’d bite anyone who’d call us crazy for that. Secondly, I've only been able to reach you since you started feeling like your true self.

Pretty sure I screwed that up becoming a mimic instead of a slime.

Oh, no, I wanted to be a slime, you were the one who wanted to be a mimic.

Huh? I guess I didn't hate being a mimic exactly. So all this happened because I, er, we felt isolated. Is that really true?

  Loneliness is more traumatic than you’d think. When it was just me, it got to the point that… I couldn’t think of anything else but… no, don't worry about it. Since you stopped me before I could do something stupid, you took over, and you started talking to people. It helped, it got us to where we met others like us.

But it didn’t help. I still feel lonely. I can feel it, you know. There’s other mimics around us here. They’re all here and I still feel lonely.

Yeah, dummy. We don’t know how to feel any other way. We need to unlearn it. Otherwise nothing is going to change.

… Hey um, laborer, ugh awful name. We'll pick something better, I wanted to say I'm sorry, for getting us stuck here for all eternity. I was supposed to be the one who stopped us from feeling this way and I ended up digging us into a deeper hole, at least we have each other, and the trillions of mimics that surround us.

You did your best. Hey, let's try doing something. Look down. You can see Erian right? This is him two years ago. We’re mimicking his thoughts right now. I think normally we would just munch on his stray thoughts. But being physical we could do something fun with what’s left of our body. Check it out.

What did you just do? Did you just. We're the one who left that ingredient for Erian to use. So we created ourself on accident. Oh stars, the ingredient was our own decayed body, I think I'm going to be sick. Wait, isn't this like a time paradox?

Paradoxes aren't real, humans just haven't figured out the physics of time yet. This is a teachable moment. We're going to get out of here. We're going to find a tear in the void and walk out of it. Since time doesn't exist, our perception of it becomes reality. A century becomes a blink, we just need to find the point where we escape to the correct time and go there.

I understood basically none of it but you’re saying we can go back, right? Then I’ll try whatever nonsense you tell me. Hey laborer, will we be able to talk when we get back? Laborer? Hey! Are you there?!

“Ms.Mulberry? Mayday! Mayday! Are you finally awake? Mayday, can you hear me?!”

Theo? H-how long was I gone?

“Mayday! You have so much to answer for! Pull yourself together already!”

Huh? Can he not hear me? Oh, right, I forgot how to make a mouth. No, that’s not a mouth, that's just teeth. Teeth and eyes. Is that all I can remember? No… Teeth, eyes, and knowing, I just know. I know what he’s saying, that he knows what I am, and he doesn’t understand. It felt like it was years. No wonder I can’t remember how to move a body.

All of my memories are flooding back… Except the old ones. I don’t remember my time there. Just that it was horrific, and that I’ll miss it. I was connected to my kind for just a brief moment of eternity. I think I met someone there, and I wanted to say goodbye to everyone before I disappeared. I don’t think I’ll ever get back now. What do I even do? Therapy I guess. Oh, Erian is still talking. Maybe it’s important.

“I swear, you just do things with no regard! You could have seriously endangered my life, and the livelihood of everyone who comes to this clinic! Do you ever think about others? You better have a good explanation, and more importantly answers to our research if you ever want the chance of me forgiving you. You arrogant, ignorant, self-obsessed, blah, blah blah blah…”

Yep. Nothing important. Whatever. Stars, I’m bored. I want to hang out with Aria again, I want to see how Sandy is doing, I want to make sure Alexis is ok, I want to be able to hold Abi again. Maybe I should host a party. It’d be nice to be around others.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[ir-abelas-vhenan]

I received a comment on one of my posts about how Solas and a romanced Lavellan aren't his most important or only relationship, and while I have been trying to work through the content we ARE given in the game (which is, unfortunately, mostly Solavellan focused and less expansive for Inquisitors who had a different relationship for him as far as I currently understand it) before moving on to other things I wish we'd gotten to see, I wanted to take a moment to emphasize that I do love and miss the connections forged in Inquisition. I look forward to seeing more posts delving into it once the initial torrent of emotions settles a bit.

I know that EVERYONE except Cole Greatly Disapproves at the end of Trespasser, but if Varric can overcome any grudge he had claim to against someone who (potentially) set in motion a series of events that killed his best friend, I like to think that even if we didn't get to see it in Veilguard, his other friends tried to help bring him home, too. Maybe in the form of helping out where they could, but at the very least through some meaningful little moments we could have gotten as codex entries (or can imagine for ourselves quite nicely).

My favorite is currently the possibility that in the skirmishes between agents of Fen'harel and the Inquisition (disbanded or not), little slips of paper get dropped/exchanged/found amidst the chaos.

Depending on your worldstate, Blackwall is potentially the king of "I made some REALLY bad mistakes, but exist as proof that with the right people around you, you can still do good." Solas admired him a great deal, and they had some of the best conversations in the game. I like to think he'd send letters both grand and impassioned as well as just short ones, maybe little updates on his life. "Helped an injured farmer repair his roof. Stayed for a fantastic meal. Never would have happened if I hadn't tried another way."

I know there was more to their relationship than chess, but I also would have loved if Bull and Solas exchanged a few more intellectual jabs through it. Solas wins, and wins, and wins, but I like to think that the closer we get to Varric finding him at the ritual, the more ground Bull eventually gains, until finally, panicked, Solas never sends an agent with his next move, and Bull knows he's faltering at the finish line.

And ofc I would have killed for absolutely any interstitial scene with a Cole who remained a spirit, arguably the character that understands Solas the most, talking to him in the Fade Prison. I think he really could have benefited from some compassion while he was busy manipulating Rook.

These are just my initial thoughts though. I know there's so much more that could be talked about (I'm still partial about a world in which Solas' worst nightmare in the form of Sera appears and for once they're on the same page because if he thought she annoyed him? Hoo boy is Elgarn'an even more susceptible).

Anyways. Yeah, I love Solavellan, but I love the entirety of his story and the relationships he formed, too.

[stackslip]

CAN YOU ELABORATE ON TLT BEING A HOMESTUCK FANFIC‽‽‽‽‽

i'm exaggerating a bit, but taz muir was a well known homestuck writer who wrote under the username urbanAnchorite. her fic the serendipity gospels is one of my fave fics ever, but was never finished and it's only by book 2 of tlt that i figured that the clear allusions to it in book 1 weren't just cute little nods but that she'd expanded on some of the ideas/concepts and worldbuilding of the serendipity gospels. to name a few:

the ninth house cult is heavily based on the juggalo church muir wrote/expanded upon in TSG, from face paint to the rituals and a lot of the accompanying prose

act 2 of TSG takes place mainly in a spaceship that serves as "cathedral" of the juggalo cult, and is described to be covered in bones that have been painted in many colors--which is close to the description of the mithraeum

act 2 also features the two main characters being much younger people mentored/manipulated into horrible acts by an old man who is thousands of years old and bickering with his other thousand year old friends/enemies, who seem to share knowledge and understanding that neither the two protagonists do but also deeply resent one another. hard to not read a parallel to john and the lyctors here!

to elaborate on this bc i just realized it: it is heavily implied in TSG that the dancestors (older people thousands of years old) went through a universe reset and built the empire in the image of their own trauma and anger, which would v much parallel what happens to john on earth and how he "reset" humanity

less of a homestuck thing and more of a taz muir thing: said old man is v much grooming the main female character and making her life miserable during the entirety of act 2

a lot of the story takes place in the background of the trolls' empire being a horrific imperialist force that the main characters were originally very excited to join and become a part of, with one of these characters in particular daydreaming about becoming ground troop for invasion while also holding a terrible secret that would have precluded him of doing so anyway. p neat parallel to gideon's own thing here

act 1 and act 2 of TSG are from two different pov characters, with a drastic shift in prose style and understanding of the situation/world when the pov shifts. which v much echoes how tlt has worked so far. part 3 was barely started before it went on hiatus, but it followed the same pattern.

speaking of, the prose of act 2 of TSG definitely feels very close to harrow the ninth's prose. you can just open the fic and check the first chapter of act 2 and how it's written, and you'll see what i mean. there are differences--the prose of TSG act 2 is more inflected with southern usamerican evangelical speak, i think? i'm not american so i can't quite 200% tell

there is an external armed resistance to the empire's violent imperialism and resistance that was supposed to be the focus in act 3 of TSG, which never happened. nona the ninth did, though, and it follows that structure.

there are also eldritch horrors that threaten the entire universe--homestuck's own horrorterrors--that are in the background of TSG and implied to be an important part of the future plot that we never saw. tlt has the ressurrection beasts

taz muir's worldbuilding around the blood castes in og homestuck that she elaborates on in TSG also somewhat parallels the way the houses function in tlt

iirc there's also worldbuilding around space travel in tlt (such as the obelisks? i think that's the name? and the use of necromancy to power them) that parallels taz muir's own take on how space travel works in the troll empire, using psionics and draining them dry in a similar way

i think the necro-cav relationship 'ideal' is based around how taz also interpreted moirallegiance in not just TSG but all her homestuck fics, down to how its legal implementation and the idealization of it vs its role in troll/houses imperialism and the reality of blurred lines in "expected" relationships. i'd love to hear taz's discourse on troll romance

i also think the necro-cav relationship parallels the other legal pairing explored in TSG--legislacerator and subjugglator.

there are probably more parallels i am missing--i need to reread TSG soon, as i haven't in a while. there are elements i'd say are more like, how taz herself elaborated on the bones of the worldbuilding of homestuck and then made it her own thing, which is rad as hell. other elements are more fun nods, such as gideon's aviator glasses being shamelessly stolen from dave homestuck, and a lot of gtn's prose feeling very homestuckey. it's def not like, just a little rewrite and boom, you get the locked tomb! imo it's more elements of plot and worldbuilding that were interesting enough to develop into something of its own and that taz made into something new, along with other elements of other stories (such as lolita and umineko) being woven into it. part of why i enjoy tlt so much is its "collage" aspect, taking elements taz thought interesting in other stories, or using these elements to purposefully evoke specific feelings/moods to construct or obsfucate certain ideas.

[periprose]

Something angsty with Tonowari, like an argument that later they solve and turns fluffy or smuty whatever you want! Lysm <3

I love you too anon <3 thank you for the request!

Iknimaya

You assume that Tonowari and Ronal have something going on, during the most important day of your life. Takes place far before ATWOW, as Tonowari, Reader, and Ronal are fairly young.

Word count: 2.3k

Genre: Angst, unrequited love (but not really), fluffy ending, no use of y/n

Your head hurts a lot.

Not just because no one is listening to you, and you’re getting increasingly stressed- but because the amount of flowers, beading, and seashells woven into your hair must weigh an extra ten pounds.

It’s ridiculous. It’s nothing like your usual headdress, which is usually just a clip fashioned out of coral, pulling your hair back, and you want to tell Tonowari that this is pointless.

But he’s not listening, either. Tonowari is off to the side, speaking to Ronal with those big, unblinking blue eyes, listening with a enraptured look that’s pissing you off.

You know she is the new, freshly made Tsahik- she gets the right to speak on spiritual manners before anyone else does. But you want Tonowari to come back to where you’re standing, all alone, waiting for comfort.

Why doesn’t he look at me? You wonder. Doesn’t he care? I’m going through this all alone.

It’s the final phase in your Iknimaya- the coming-of-age ritual- and Tonowari has been by your side for every part of it. You’re a bit late to join the clan as an adult- your peers had already done so about a year ago- but Tonowari had always supported you, even when you felt like you couldn’t do it.

When you first bonded with your skimwing, Tonowari was there, cheering in the water, saying that he knew you could do it. 

When you first met your Tulkun Sister, Tonowari was the one who calmly had his hand on your back, because you were nervous she was going to reject you.

Tonowari has always been the one to be there for you. His presence is a comforting one for you, but you know that this isn’t an exclusive feeling. Many people love Tonowari- they come to him for advice whenever it is possible. And you know that’s why he’s been chosen as a successor to the Olo’eytkan.

Still, it bothers you. You want to keep Tonowari all to yourself- even if you know that’s selfish. It’s not the way of the people, but still, you want him to be by your side.

Ronal says something that you can’t quite hear- and you watch as her piercing eyes glance and stare right into you- and you feel judged. You feel small, tiny, as Ronal sizes you up. She turns back to Tonowari and says something with a hint of a smile- and you feel utterly sick to see it.

What could be so funny about you? What is so amusing that Ronal and Tonowari would gossip like this? It’s especially unlike Tonowari to do so. He’s usually such a fair, happy person, one that actually cares about others’ wellbeings, and here he is, becoming closer and closer to Ronal. 

They both have some sort of understanding, you can see, by the way that they look at each other. Tonowari squeezes Ronal’s hand- and your face burns with jealousy.

It makes sense, you think. Ronal is a resilient, prickly person, she knows what she means and says it, too. Tonowari is kind of the opposite- as kind-hearted as he is, he also is incredibly strong, and always willing to do the right thing. They both are matched in their sense of justice- and you feel a lump swell in your throat as you think about it.

They’re meant to be. Surely they will be mated, working alongside each other to lead the clan, and you will simply be to the side. It’s so obvious.

Tonowari looks back to you. His eyes are bright, and he has a hint of a smile on his face. But he’s surprised to see your eyes glint with tears, and you look away from him, towards the ground. Icing him out.

He tries his best to get your attention again, eyes searching your face, but you’re still turned away. You refuse to meet his eyes, and Tonowari feels his heart sink, as he wonders what he’s done wrong.

/

The Cove of the Ancestors feels cold today. It’s not a great omen for your ritual, and Ronal tells you as much. 

You nod silently. You see her squint, and then look impressed, and you don’t know why. It’s not as if you’re purposefully being stoic, you just can’t find the words to say to her. 

You’re standing in the most shallow part of the water, and Ronal steps around you, as the clan watches on.

“Today, you have made yourself a part of the people, forever.” Ronal touches your arms, your collarbones, and finally, your face. She grasps your cheeks, staring deep into your eyes, and you stare back, numb, trying not to feel afraid.

“You are one of us. You will breathe, know, and believe the way of water for as long as you live.” Ronal murmurs, before wrapping the customary garment around you. It’s a special shawl, beaded with beads that have been painstakingly made by hand, by the women of the clan. Everyone has such a shawl.

You pull it around yourself, feeling warmer. There’s some embroidery on the shawl, and it’s intricate- you wonder who did such a thing.

Ronal places three beads in your palm. You close your fist around it, knowing that it is the beads for your songcord, and watch as the Metkayina begin to sing around you.

You listen, feeling pride despite everything, that you have come so far. Their hands all gather to meet around you- a sea of arms, making branches not unlike a tree- and you are at the centre of it all.

You look up, finally, and see Tonowari staring at you. He looks… pleased. Happy. Perhaps you can have that, at least. The contentment of a friend is better than nothing.

Ronal pulls out a small knife. You stiffen- but you’re not truly afraid. She dips it into a shallow well of ink, made from different animals in the sea, and begins the process of tattooing. The song heightens as she creates intricate swirling patterns on your chin, and you bear it, bear the pain as the blade pierces your skin.

Everyone gently pushes you, as they walk, past the shallow pools, and into the water. You sink under, and there are hands cradling you as you do. You see the bright light of the Spirit Tree- and think about how lucky you are to be here. The tattoo’s pain seems to fade away.

Finally, you are pulled back up, after being baptised. 

Ronal raises your arm to the clan, who cheer and raise you upwards.

/

After everyone has moved past this, you are exhausted. You want to go back to your home, and go to sleep, especially after knowing that Tonowari is not yours to have.

You don’t know why you ever let yourself think that in the first place.

It’s too bad, though. You’re about to go to sleep in your marui pod, and when you enter through the opening, who else is already there, sitting, waiting, as if he owns the place?

Tonowari.

“Hello.” Tonowari motions for you to come sit next to him, patting on a pillow, but you simply stand in place.

“Why are you here?” You mutter, pulling your shawl around yourself a little tighter.

“Why would I not be here?” Tonowari stands up, and comes towards you, but you take a step back. Hurt flashes across his face as you do.

You look up at him, trying your best to swallow your sadness, your fears and anger, trying to just be as supportive as he was for you. 

“I don’t know. Aren’t there other things you need to do?” You stare up at him, and Tonowari looks down at you in confusion. He’s quite a bit taller than you, but he’s never felt imposing, or scary.

He wonders if that’s why you’re pushing him away. 

“What could be more important than celebrating the best day of your life?” Tonowari responds softly, and you can’t look at him anymore. 

Not when you feel that this has been the complete opposite. It doesn’t feel very momentous when you know Tonowari doesn’t care for you like that, not the way you care for him.

“Seriously. You don’t need to be here. Everything special is over, anyways.” You retort, but Tonowari shakes his head at that. 

“I… I thought you would be more happy. That you have come so far.” He sounds serious, and you feel guilty for a moment, until remembering how he looked at Ronal.

“I am, I just… I need to be alone, Tonowari.” You try, but he shakes his head.

Outside, a thunder storm starts, and a downpour of rain begins. Water ripples in the distance, and a pleasant drumming has started over your marui pod.

“No.” Tonowari shakes his head, and you hate him for this, hate him for how perseverant he always has to be, always having to know what happens so he can fix it. 

This is the one time he can’t.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He insists, and you find yourself wanting to run- you start to move backwards, out onto the bridge, rain droplets hitting your hair. Tonowari moves forward quickly, and grasps your arm, pulling you inside before you can resist.

“You’ll get drenched if you’re out there. You’ll catch a cold.” He’s holding both of your arms, and you have nowhere else to go. You stare up at him- and he doesn’t look angry, just concerned.

“Stop… just stop doing that.” You whisper, and he shakes his head.

“Doing what?”

“Pretending that you care, Tonowari.” You finally hiss out, and his eyes widen. “I know you’re my friend- but you don’t really care about me, not in the way that I want you to. I… I don’t think I can keep being friends with you since that’s how it has to be, and I’m sorry.”

He tries to cut you off, but you keep going. 

“I know it’s selfish. But it’s all I can really say.” You stare down at the ground, and Tonowari’s hands come up onto your shoulders, trying to comfort you. “I wish you and Ronal nothing but the best.”

Tonowari’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Ronal?”

“Yes.” You sigh with a deep sorrow that only makes him more upset that you didn’t bring this up sooner. “I know you like her. I saw how you two were looking at each other.”

Tonowari exhales, glad that this was all it was, an easily fixable misinterpretation of events that he could correct, and that he wasn’t really at risk of losing you- and he pulls you in for a tight, bone crushing hug. 

You gasp. “Tonowari- let me go-!”

“No, skxawng.” His chest rumbles with deep laughter as you try to fight him, and he picks you up easily. “You should have told me.”

Tonowari walks with you in his grasp, and sits down, where he was before. He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you close to him. He doesn’t care that you’re angry at him- he’s happy that he can finally tell you the truth.

“Why? So you could’ve rubbed it in my face, even harder?” You glare upwards at him.

“Do you really think I would be holding you like this if I was to mate with Ronal?” He comments, just casually enough, and you remember where you are, and how close you are to him. You turn a deep purple- and Tonowari cackles at your expression.

“So?”

“So.” He places his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry you spent however long feeling like this. That was not my intention- and I hope you can forgive me.”

You open your mouth to say something, but Tonowari shushes you. 

His hand comes upward to trace your jaw, mouth, and chin where your freshly made tattoo is still healing. 

“I asked Ronal if it seemed appropriate to ask you to… to mate with me, because it would be so soon after you finished your Iknimaya.” He admits, and you gaze softens. “She said yes, because you seem so sure of yourself already- except for just now, I suppose.”

You find yourself smiling a little. Even giggling. How could you be so silly?

Not that it matters now, anyways.

“Will you? Would you be okay with being my mate?” Tonowari asks, and you hug him especially close, your face nuzzling into his neck.

“Of course I would, are you crazy? That’s what I was upset about.” You beam at him. “I’m only sorry that I was being such a skxawng.” 

Tonowari grins. “So, did you like the shawl?”

“Huh?”

His hand traces the embroidery in your shawl. You feel your chest turn warm at his contact.

“I did this- not well, but I did this. My mother showed me how.” He tells you, and you are taken aback, that Tonowari did such a thing and you had been wearing it this whole time, not knowing how important it was. How special it is. 

How could you ever assume that he did not care?

“It’s perfect.” You say honestly, holding it close. “I’ll treasure it forever.”

Tonowari’s eyes suddenly turn a little darker- his lids are half closed- and he leans in, pulling you in for a kiss, except he first kisses your forehead, and then your cheeks, and then he kisses your chin, where your tattoo is still burning a little.

His kiss makes it feel better, though.

He leans in and kisses you for real this time, his lips being soft, chastely plying at your own, before you kiss him back, and lean into his touch. His arms embrace you firmly, not letting you move away from him, and you wrap your arms around his neck.