#Addiction recovery therapy

[myrecovery15]

Addiction Recovery Therapy- A Path to Healing

Addiction recovery therapy is a critical component in the journey to overcome substance use disorders. It involves a range of therapeutic approaches designed to help individuals understand the root causes of their addiction, develop coping strategies, and build a fulfilling, substance-free life. The effectiveness of addiction recovery therapy lies in its ability to address the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of addiction, promoting comprehensive healing.

Understanding Addiction

Addiction is a complex and chronic disease that affects the brain's reward system, leading to compulsive substance use despite harmful consequences. It can stem from various factors, including genetics, environmental influences, trauma, and mental health disorders. Recognizing addiction as a multifaceted issue is essential for effective treatment, which is where recovery therapy plays a pivotal role.

Types of Addiction Recovery Therapy

Behavioral Therapy: Behavioral therapies are foundational in addiction treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective, helping individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with substance use. CBT teaches coping mechanisms, problem-solving skills, and ways to manage triggers and stress.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a form of therapy that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with concepts from mindfulness practices. It focuses on teaching patients skills to cope with stress, regulate emotions, and improve relationships with others. This is particularly beneficial for individuals with co-occurring mental health disorders.

Motivational Interviewing (MI): MI is a client-centered, directive approach that enhances motivation to change. Therapists work with individuals to explore and resolve ambivalence about substance use, fostering a sense of empowerment and commitment to recovery.

Contingency Management (CM): CM provides tangible rewards for positive behaviors, such as maintaining sobriety or attending therapy sessions. This approach leverages the brain's reward system to reinforce healthier behaviors.

Family Therapy: Addiction often impacts the entire family. Family therapy aims to repair and strengthen family dynamics, improve communication, and provide support for both the individual in recovery and their loved ones. This holistic approach recognizes the family's role in the recovery process.

The Role of Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT)

For some individuals, combining medication with therapy can significantly enhance recovery outcomes. Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) involves the use of FDA-approved medications, such as methadone, buprenorphine, or naltrexone, to reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms. MAT, when paired with behavioral therapies, can provide a more comprehensive treatment plan.

Holistic Approaches in Recovery

Holistic therapies address the individual as a whole, integrating physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. Techniques such as yoga, meditation, art therapy, and acupuncture can complement traditional therapy methods, promoting overall well-being and reducing stress.

Importance of Support Groups

Support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA), play a crucial role in the recovery process. These groups provide a sense of community, accountability, and shared experiences, which can be incredibly empowering and motivating for individuals in recovery.

Aftercare and Relapse Prevention

Recovery is an ongoing process, and aftercare is vital for sustaining long-term sobriety. Aftercare programs may include continued therapy, support group participation, and developing a strong network of sober friends and mentors. Relapse prevention strategies are also essential, involving identifying triggers, developing coping mechanisms, and creating a structured, supportive environment.

Conclusion

Addiction recovery therapy is a multifaceted and dynamic process that requires commitment, support, and a personalized approach. By addressing the underlying causes of addiction and fostering healthy coping strategies, recovery therapy empowers individuals to reclaim their lives and achieve lasting sobriety. The journey is challenging, but with the right therapeutic interventions and support systems, recovery is not only possible but achievable.

[the-drug-addicts-diary]

For my whole life, I was willing to overshare anything about me with anyone, hoping maybe someone will make sense of it, and tell me who i am.

[cleanaf]

GIT IN DA PIT !!!

[polluteme]

Source

[aftgficrec]

IT'S OPENNNNNNN!!!!!

You peeps are absolutely amazing. Love everything you do for this blog.

Do you have any recommendations for any new twinyard bonding fics, with or without Nicky. Or even any with Nicky and one twin?

Or anything around Wymack and Kevin having father son bonding or something like that.

Thank you in advance 💜

OK so sometimes I go off the deep end with these searches and it has happened once again. We’ve tagged a lot of fics with 'twinyards bonding,' even if it’s just a small part of the story — we’re just here for the healing, you know? So rather than delete this huge list of previous recs, I’m going to put them in another post.

Bonus: fics with background twinyards bonding here.

Nicky with the twins here and Kevin and Wymack bonding here are being bumped to their own asks. -A

twinyards bonding since our last ask

‘Shut Up and Dance (With Me),’ ‘never said that i didn't need you,’ ‘Inked Truths’ series and ‘prove your love’ here

‘A World of HIPAA Violations’ here

‘Nor are we forgiven’ here

‘Follow You Through The Dark’ here

‘Did You Get What You Deserve?’ and ‘The Ash is in Our Clothes’ here

‘take yourself home’ here

‘I Think Mom Was Hiding Something…,’ and ‘In Our Family Portrait’ here 

‘Poetry in Motion’ here

‘The Strays’ and ‘Arsonist's Lullabye’ here

‘Medical misunderstandings’ here

‘tall twinyards' series here

‘if you can't take the heat…’ and ‘Microsleep’ here

‘The first time Andrew let Aaron see…’ here 

‘Unique Souls’ and ‘Don't Mind Us’ here

‘Little Miracles’ and ‘Where There is Magic…’ here

‘Witness,’ ‘there’s a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly,’ and ‘… cry over Aaron Minyard tonight’ here

‘Suddenly I see’ here

‘"Wrong Minyard" - Aaron Minyard’ here

‘False Equivalence’ here

‘I’ve been silent for so long,’ ‘in my life i have seen people walk into the sea…,’ ‘Trial,’ ‘You know I don't care,’ and ‘Lists’ here

‘The Road Trip’ here

‘What He Would Give’ and ‘let me tell you something…’ here

‘lamb to the slaughter’ (updated) here

previous twinyards goodness

Andrew supportive of Aaron here

twinyards relationship 2 here

twinyards growing up together here

healthy sibling rivalry here

canon divergent low angst twinyards here

low angst twinyards aus here

domestic fluff w/twinyards bonding, Neil & Aaron friendship here

Aaron & Neil rapprochement here

more Aaron relapse here

twinyards mistaken identity here

Neil mistakes Aaron for Andrew here

the twins with siblings/kids here

twins discover their dad here

why Minyard last name? here

twins meet later in life 2 here

twins meet later, without the trauma here

pre canon

breaking every finger, praying that it makes me clean by orionauriga [Rated M, 9505 Words, Complete, 2023]

Then: Aaron, on the other side of the bathroom door, screaming Andrew’s name in delirious rage. Between: Andrew, fractured between blissfully medicated and painfully sober, trapped with doctors meant to be helping him. Now: Kevin, hands twisted into his hair, watching in silent agony as Andrew sloshes his vodka down the sink. — No one has ever accused Andrew Minyard of being caring, but he is more than capable of handling his loved ones’ addictions. He’s gone through withdrawal before, after all. He knows what it’s like.

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: vomit, tw: withdrawal, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Both of you, against- by itallcomesbacktoandreil [Rated T, 618 Words, Complete, 2022]

idk what to tell you, this is a vent piece, it isnt even originally about the twinyards, but i wanted to post it and felt they could fit in this

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

In this Gemini weather by codename_adler [Not Rated, 1187 Words, Complete, 2023, Locked]

When Aaron found out about his twin brother Andrew, at 13, he wrote him a letter. Here is that letter.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

this is me choosing you by thewintersolstice [Rated T, 7467 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape 2022]

In the months before Tilda's death, Andrew and Aaron try to learn how to care about each other -- aka twinyards bonding as only twinyards can (badly). or three times andrew tried to be a good brother and one time aaron finally got it.

tw: alcohol, tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to by love_in_the_city [Rated G, 2782 Words, Complete, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022]

Part 1 of Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022 Five times the twins have cried on their birthdays and one time they didn’t have to

tw: child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug use

until then I walk alone series by rekikiri [Rated T, Collection, Updated July 2023]

Part 1: sometimes, I wish someone out there will find me [3291 Words, Complete, 2023] Andrew gifts Aaron a guitar, and that may just be the start of them learning to exist with each other.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse. tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

NB: inspired by this art by @foxesrefuge; this art also inspired the fic ‘rooftop songs’ recc’d here

Part 2: another turning point, a fork stuck in the road [7718 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023] aaron is hurt, and andrew won’t let his mother hurt the only family he chose to keep, no matter the cost.

tw: child abuse, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood, tw: drug addiction, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: car accidents

My life by diangelonico [Rated T, 562 Words, Complete, 2023]

“You were miserable. You were so unhappy. You hated your life.” Andrew said, angry. “Is was my life.”

tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

we'll take it slow (and grow as we go) by pipedreamparrish [Rated T, 2755 Words, Complete, 2020]

the Twinyards's birthday's through the ages, featuring very ugly ties, large sugar intakes, and lots of growth and healing)

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm

post canon

Mirror, Mirror by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T, 7347 Words, Complete, Dec 2022, Locked]

Part 3 of Heimkehr means Homecoming series, parts 1 & 2 here

Aaron and Andrew spent the first 16 years of their lives apart, so they aren’t exactly those twins with the telepathy and in-jokes. Except sometimes. Two mirrors as seen through two imaginary friends, one visitors day in juvie, two relapses and one late night phone call.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: abortion discussion

Give Me Another Minute (to Lay Here in Your Echo) by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T, 26732 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

A year post-canon, when they thought they were safe, Neil goes missing.

tw: implied major character death, tw: kidnapping, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: self harm, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: drugs, tw: alcohol, tw: implied/referenced human trafficking, tw: graphic nightmares, tw: gun violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: major character injury

Don't Strike Me Down by crymeariversong11 [Rated T, 5021 Words, Complete, 2022]

Kevin ends up in the hospital and the Minyard Twins realize they have feelings.

Trial Talk by sirfatcat_mccatterson [Rated G, 1638 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Prompt from anon on Tumblr Twinyard bonding before Aarons trial.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

No Words Necessary by emmy (emmy7) [Rated T, 820 Words, Complete, 2023]

Aaron in the aftermath of Drake's murder trial.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Thicker Than Water by exy_shmexy [981 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Aaron himself found himself at a loss for words. He had tossed and turned over what to say for a couple days ever since he sent the text to Andrew telling him he wanted to visit his mother’s grave and if he could come with him.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Raw Sugar by Paradoxolotl [Rated T, 3686 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Betsy tells Aaron and Andrew to find something they can bond over.

NB: fic art by @fortheloveofexy here

I was born sick by Harmonique [Rated G, 3082 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 2 of AFTG whump

Aaron is sick. Aaron should rest, but he has an exam, classes, and a match in the evening. Aaron is an idiot. Thankfully, he has a boyfriend and a brother to make sure he rests

After thousands of cold days by LadyTimelessness [Rated T, 3310 Words, Complete, 2023]

Double sessions was originally a stupid idea. None of them cared about building (or establishing) brothers relations anymore. Andrew always knew it wouldn't work, and neither did Aaron. They learned to live with each other at the level of neighbors, and it seemed to suit everyone. None of the twins needed more.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder

Contraposition by Reiss [Rated T, 3595 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew and Arron have an emotional and tearful bonding session on the roof of Fox Tower and a breakthrough in their emotions follows.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: violence

Twin Calls series by makememakesense [Rated T, Collection with 2 complete works, Twinyards Appreciation Week 2022]

Part 1: The pressure in my veins (Talk it down, talk it down) [1573 Words] Andrew deals with being a single Cat Dad. Part 2: We're doing alright [1478 Words] POV you're freaking out about having Twins. Who do you call?

alternate universes

I'm leaving this town (and I'm changing my address) by zweimam [Rated T, 21028 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023]

Aaron has been looking for his brother for six years. Right when he's beginning to lose all hope, he meets Neil Josten.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced suicidal thoughts, tw: dissociation, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction

Damned If You Do by Inthewritespot [Rated T, 13508 Words, Complete, 2022]

When his cousin Nicky calls about some friends disappearing under ghostly circumstances, Andrew Minyard forces his twin back into the family business. This is a Twinyard Supernatural AU

tw: canonical character death, tw: blood/gore

gutterwitch blues by nanatsuyu [Rated T, 20882 Words, Complete, 2023]

It isn't the worst job Andrew's ever been not paid to do. He and Aaron grew up managing the place, after all. Five years of silence doesn't change that. He can handle visiting 'home' one last time.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder

togetherness by Nightingale231 [Rated T, 683 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Andrew and Aaron are brothers. Andrew is the alpha of the twins, and Aaron the omega. Neil and Aaron are friends.

Art

book scene: Aaron’s drug detox art by @nniivek

The Minyard Twins art by @alef-art

Aaron and Andrew sand castle building competition art by @emry-stars-art

Twinyard AU with ghost Andrew art by @ol-unreliable

au where aaron and neil are best friends first comic by @02511213942

Nicky’s picture of the twins art by @prince-peachie

we face the fire together, brothers to the end art by @scribblesandsuch21

aftg inktober day 4: twinyards art by @tigerjawed

twinyards in a campus coffee shop art by @/whyzard on twitter

[meditating-honey-badger]

Chapter: 14/15 | Chapter Word Count: 3,128 | Total Word Count: 20,354 | Rating: Explicit | Warnings/Tags: Rehab, Relapse, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Detox, Betrayal, things do get better, reunion sex

A year after TK & Carlos's wedding, TK's world fell apart when his father was killed during a fire call. TK relapsed, spiraling down into darker depths with his addiction than he'd ever been before. After trying and failing to convince TK he needed help, Carlos went to extreme measures to get TK into rehab.

This story begins on TK's first day in detox, and is initially told through letters that he writes to Carlos on his journey to get back home.

Inspired by the song "A Long Way to Get" by Bob Schneider

April 21, 2024 | April 29, 2024 | May 14, 2024 | May 24, 2024 | May 31, 2024 | June 14, 2024 | June 17, 2024 - Part I, TK | June 17, 2024 - Part II, Carlos | June 17, 2024 - Part III, TK | June 18, 2024 | June 19, 2024 | June 20, 2024 | June 24 - July 15, 2024

Long Way to Get

July 18, 2024

Please note that the rating has been updated from mature to explicit, and I have added some new tags. If you have any questions about the updated rating before reading, please send me a message.

TK paced in the front lobby, his packed bag sitting on the floor. He'd woken up way too early that morning, eager to get packed and be on his way. The problem was, he didn't have much to pack, so he'd had to sit in his room and be anxious before breakfast and his last session with Lindsey. She'd helped him feel a little calmer, but he still had a lot of pent-up nervous energy as he waited for Carlos.

His flight had already landed, but with the Los Angeles traffic, there was no telling when he would get there. TK fiddled with the ring on his left ring finger and tried to envision his life once he left rehab. They were going to New York because TK needed that intermission before jumping back into life on Austin, but he also worried that the lack of any structure would be bad for him. After the first day, he would have to decide on a schedule, something to keep him grounded throughout the day outside of the controlled environment of rehab.

He and Carlos had done a lot of work over Carlos’s visit, but TK was still worried that resentment would bubble up in Carlos once they got home and back to their old routines. He wondered if he’d made the right choice in having Carlos come with him to New York. Maybe it would have been better for TK to have that adjustment time by himself and then go back to Austin to join Carlos in their normal environment. Or maybe they both needed this reprieve together.

Finish Reading on AO3

[aribcofer]

ari b. cofer, excerpt from substack

[alone-in-the-suburbs]

TW Serious Post, ignore if not on theme.

Alcohol Psychosis.

This is about people that suffer from drinking problems and what I have discovered through seeing a therapist for 2 months and reading multiple articles around this issue.

"Alcohol-related psychosis is a secondary psychosis that manifests as prominent hallucinations and delusions occurring in a variety of alcohol-related conditions" This mainly discusses the non-violent type of psychosis.

What is Alcohol Related Psychosis?

I've recently discovered through therapy that I have something called Alcohol Induced Psychosis, specifically a type which causes you to dream while you are awake. This is linked to your brain falling asleep but intoxication keeps you talking and walking. I'm by no means an alcoholic, but I found myself in a position where my nights out were getting out of control and it damaged relationships with people I loved. So I decided to make a change and look into why this was happening. No one had spoken to me about this before.

My favourite part about it is that usually you completely go insane, usually saying things that are both untrue and often your brain running with whatever thought crosses it. It also links directly with "Hangxiety" which a lot of people suffer from, myself included.

You form this psychosis through prolonged drinking in younger years, common in people that "Haven't taken a weekend off" since they were 17 but it is also commonly found in people that use drugs in the same capacity. It has a lot to do with tolerance, while most people will just fall asleep or vomit, people with extreme tolerance will often find themselves being so intoxicated your brain turns into an melted popsicle.

What does it look like when it happens?

Sad about something? Suddenly you want to kill yourself.

Struggling with sex life/can't get it up when you want to? You must be gay, right?

Saw a person on the street? They must be trying to kill or rob you right?

Work is a bit too much at the moment? You have to quit.

Girlfriend didn't reply to a message? Cheating, must be.

Feel like you're getting older quickly? You must be 37! (You're only 25)

No, alcohol induced psychosis tricks your brain into saying/thinking things that are so absurd that you cannot fathom why you said that in the morning.

It's troubling but the only way around it is extreme alcohol control, even to the point of not drinking ever again. You may not be an alcoholic but once you start suffering from this, you pretty much manage your alcohol consumption perfectly or quit altogether.

Luckily this type of psychosis only comes into play when alcohol is consumed, so if you suffer from this just know it's fixable.

Managing Alcohol Induced Psychosis

While you may want to drink, it's usually in your best interest to manage it the best way for both your heart and brain. Your brain may tell you it's need to relax and have a beer, your heart may hurt and tell you it wants a shot. But if you suffer from this issue, you must use your brain and protect your heart.

If you suffer from these issues or have had nights where you wake up and go why the fuck did I say that? You should look into this, as it may save you from pain in the future.

If you know someone who suffers through this, they may not know it. They may call you and tell you stupid things, you just need to know how to handle it. Often times people let those around them continue this trend, but you can intervene. Talk to them, explain the condition and tell them that it can and will damage them in the future. Once they understand it, you may never have to meet the person that called you that night drunkenly telling you they are 37, suddenly gay, quit their job, think their girlfriend is cheating and being followed by a man who is for certain trying to kill them.

Academic Articles recommended to me

If you or someone you know seemingly goes insane after having a few too many, it’s not them, it’s a condition. Sit down and think about it.

Methods for control if you don't want to stop drinking.

Try to lower your tolerance, skip a few weekends of drinking, don't have that beer or two after work. Try to control your alcohol intake. High tolerance seems great, but it doesn't mean you get less drunk. High Tolerance just means you don't throw up or sleep like most.

Know when to stop, as soon as you start to feel it. Stop. Just stop, grab a coke or a water, you'll be better off. It's not super easy for some, but try to have a check and balance system. Ask friends or family to watch over you, to stop you from drinking more try to keep your drinks 1 for 1 with a friend you know doesn't drink too much.

Drink something different, use to drink 10 whiskeys? Try drinking 5 whiskeys with more mixer, drink a lower strength beer or make the beers smaller.

How ever you go about this, it's crucial you make a change. If you don't you may find yourself in a position where you are forced to realise, which isn't nice. You may get arrested, lose your job, drop out of school, estrange family members or lose an important relationship.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk.

[evokechicago]

Explore the key differences between opioids and opiates in our latest blog. Learn how these substances affect the body, their uses, and their potential for addiction. Discover essential insights for informed decision-making about opioid use and treatment options. Visit Evoke Wellness at Chicago for support and resources.

[evokewellnessoh]

Are you or someone you know taking Accutane for acne? Drinking alcohol while on this medication can lead to serious health risks, including liver damage and heightened side effects.

In our latest blog, we explore the dangers of mixing Accutane and alcohol and why it’s important to stay informed. Protect your health and learn how to stay safe during your treatment journey.

👉 Read More: Risks of Alcohol While Taking Accutane

#HealthMatters #AccutaneRisks #AlcoholAwareness #EvokeWellnessOhio #LiverHealth #StayInformed #SafeRecovery #AccutaneSafety

[the-drug-addicts-diary]

You become mature once you start choosing what you know is right for your future, instead of what you feel like you want at the moment.

[evokewellness]

Evoke Wellness: Comprehensive Addiction Treatment Programs

At Evoke Wellness, we’re committed to guiding you through every step of your recovery journey. Our addiction treatment programs are designed to meet your unique needs and provide the care, support, and resources you need to reclaim your life.

🔹 What We Offer:

Personalized treatment plans Medical detox & therapy options Evidence-based approaches to lasting recovery A supportive and compassionate environment

Learn more about our addiction treatment programs: https://rb.gy/rka20u

[unknowingaddiction]

What can I do instead of participating in my addictive behaviors?

*The suggestions listed are not exhaustive, and are behaviors, habits, and hobbies I have used or heard from someone in a recovery program. If you would like to add something that has worked for you to this list, please comment below and I will add them to the list.

Listen to music mindfully

Meditate

Make or appreciate art- draw, craft, create music, write, sculpt, dance, photography

Go outside

Go for a walk

Plan a trip whether it be a vacation somewhere you have always wanted to go, or an outing alone or with friends

Think of what you can do to make your day

Think of what you can do to make someone else’s day

Partake in self care

Read a book

Call a supportive friend

Watch your favorite movie 

Learn something new

Build mastery

Pet your animal family member(s)

Garden

Exercise

Join a hobby or interest group 

Journal 

*Each individual is different with their own limits and abilities, not every replacement on this list will fit every individual. 

[deelitefulrecovery]

Preventing Burnout and Relapse - Self-Care Strategies for Addiction Counselors, Therapists, Recovery Coaches and Peer Support Specialists https://deelitefulrecovery.etsy.com/listing/1780938681/preventing-burnout-and-relapse-self-care #burnoutprevention, #relapseprevention, #addictioncounseling, #selfcareforprofessionals, #therapistsupport, #recoverycoaches, #mentalhealthmatters, #ProfessionalWellness, #worklifebalance, #stressmanagement, #peersupport, #counselorlife, #therapistlife, #cbttraining, #addictionrecoverytreatment, #preventburnout, #wellnessinrecovery, #TherapistTools, #CounselorSupport, #recoveryjourney, #addictionprofessionals, #WellnessAtWork, #TherapistSelfCare, #healthyboundaries, #preventrelapse #ProfessionalGrowth, #therapistwellness, #recoverysupport, #burnoutrecovery, #mindfultherapist

[newvegascowboy]

I was kinda Jesting about it a little bit ago, but Killian and Shaun just have the potential to have SUCH a fucked up relationship. Shaun, the guy who considers the death of his mother to be collateral damage, who was going to free Killian as a social experiment, who finds out his dad takes off into a grief induced drug haze and becomes a raider overlord for a little bit. VS Killian, the guy who straight up tells him to his face "I love you, but I never should have been your father, and the parent who could have saved you is dead". Killian who realized he couldn't be the kind of father a child deserves wayy too late, but having a wife and kid was kind of all he had. Shaun who has to contend with the realization that his dad thought it was a blessing that Shaun and Nora were "dead". Killian who realizes he's done the exact same thing his parents did to him. DELICIOUS.

[k0tt]

everyone's got a story

if you would have told me i'd wake up nearly five years later married, with child and sober, i would have thrown my jack and coke in your face.

today i'm sitting at a desk and recalling how it was i got here; remembering all those days that looked like this one: a rainy, glazed over morning. the difference is i'm not looking out the window through a cloud of bong smoke, smashing pills down my throat and taking a shot to try to quell the hangover from my one person party the night before.

anxiety stirs, my nostalgia gland contracts and i start a dance number of rushing thoughts in my mind. i've only found one way to counter it.

shake my head violent for a second and say aloud, "good thing that's never going to happen again".

that's been it, one day at a time, for about five years now. i remind myself that there's a tomorrow and just for today i'm gonna do some other thing for myself. one day at a time.

i feel my future daughter kick my innards. reality sets in. i pat a little morse love code back to her.

one day at a time.