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moodboard for tonight

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that dumb tweet that was like "i learned chinese in order to argue with genshin impact fans on twitter" but it's actually not dumb. i'm reading fan fiction translated into chinese to learn chinese. this is crazy.

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every shot in Beau Travail with Galoup is like "he wants that cookie so effing bad"

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thinking about this again ❤️ ive figured it out…. “too sober about everything”??? i will just stop being sober 🛑 ✋…substance abuse starts now ❤️

you ever feel like you are so emotionally aware of yourself that it's impossible to play the game of dating because every form of affection feels ridiculous and indulgent... and your life is hella boring because you're too sober about everything.??

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every day i have to remind myself that i dont have to be good at anything and i dont have be anything

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im friends with this girl and weirdly i don’t really want to be her friend anymore (just drifted apart, lives got too different) and yet i’ll still drop anything to watch her cat while her parents aren’t home. and it’s not for money or even because i like the cat all that much. i just feel like it’s just what i’m supposed to do. i’m supposed to be available to watch this cat until the end of my life or something

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I’m just so frustrated— I wish these things were natural. I wish I was born more masculine and I naturally liked cool things and was naturally an extrovert. I wish that some things never happened. The fact that I even have to have these thoughts is annoying. The fact that I have to choose who I want to be is annoying. I don’t have to be anything, do I?

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lowkey all video game protagonists are canonically autistic because most:

are nonverbal or if they do speak usually the dialogue options are very blunt

prefer to be on their own

enjoy conforming to same routine

don't understanding social rules

notice small details that no one else does

have keen interest in the same activities (bc of limited game mechanics lol)

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i cannot tell if i am succeeding at becoming regular or if this is a manic episode !

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AND i’m trans? aw hell nah im dead

why am i so bad at everything i literally need to kill myself

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why am i so bad at everything i literally need to kill myself

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lowkey gonna kill myself

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CEO of ghosting people when my mental health is messed up

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the problem with alison bechdel (not really a problem, I'm just being insane) is that reading her work makes me feel like i'm reading about 30 other intellectual texts because that's what she references and directly quotes in order to support her narratives. so her work makes me feel like i'm getting smarter but tbh i should really just sit down and read all of these academics separately.