#AND SAID THEIR FAMILY HAD A HISTORY OF NEURODIVERGENCY

[astro-inthestars]

GUYS OMG I SURVIVED and it was actually really great like??? obviously it's a new and scary environment and I'm never gonna be sure of what happens, but it was actually pretty fun!!! We did introductions and I had to sing in front, which isn't as bad as you think! I like singing :D cuz I'm a show-off <333 /J LMAOO

Anyways people are using my a more affirming nickname because new school new nickname <3333 a lot of people liked my introduction WIN

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

so like. fnaf movie. after night five, all outside observers know is "this 30yo guy with severe anger issues + his 10yo mentally ill sister just walked out of his collapsing workplace with an unconscious, stabbed police officer, saying that someone inside the building tried to kill them but we can't get into the building to check. we went to their house and the aunt who was fighting for custody of the child is dead on the floor. the guy's career counselor is missing, as is his babysitter and her family and apparently they're all dead in the building we can't get into." and like. that all looks suspicious as FUCK however we know that in the few-weeks timeskip both mike and abby seem happy and fine so it's not like mike was arrested or anything. he seems to be more adjusted and is happily talking with her teacher so i doubt he's under stress of interrogation or anything

there's a lot of implications there that mike mighta pulled something but it's all circumstantial evidence at best. i'm sure in jane's autopsy and crime scene evidence they couldn't find any evidence of mike being the one to attack her, esp since it was probably just golden freddy bopping her in the head so they dont even have the weapon, and if she was strangled they'd be able to tell it wasn't by bare hands and they couldnt get prints or anyth. especially if golden freddy is a FULL ghost and thus left no trail.

mike would be smart enough to only tell the cops what they need to know without mentioning ghosts to sound crazy. abby might be more honest with the cops just bc of #autism but they'd be more likely to consider her talking about ghosts and imaginary friends as a child's way of coping, and they cant get anything out of her that would incriminate mike. ADD TO THAT that mike has wounds that are clearly defensive and is SUPER banged up and his wounds would likely match his story way better than evidence of him attacking anyone, AND that there's likely footage and witnesses of him being in the pharmacy and then driving to work (and thus not in the area to attack jane), AND if/when nessie wakes up she'll probably vouch for mike as well, and the cops dont have anything on him

though i DO wonder if they would have records of vanessa patching him up in the police outpost. if they do, that would also back up mike's story as it's 1) far away from the aunt jane crime scene, 2) confirms that he and vanessa were working together, so either she's complicit in Crime™ or his story is accurate and she was helping him save his sister. him going to defend her instead of calling backup is also consistent with his personality of getting triggered and jumping into action around child abduction, esp w/ his sibling in danger

considering what abby would probably say, AND the history of freddy's, it's likely that they would come to the conclusion of is "someone [likely the og kidnapper from the 80s] found out that the guy working at freddy's had a sister, kidnapped abby from her house while her aunt was babysitting and tried to recreate the crimes, his story of him and vanessa defending her and escaping vaguely checks out." whether or not mike would incriminate vanessa by mentioning her dad was the killer is up in the air, and there's obviously some huge holes that are left from nobody believing that there are ghosts in the building but that would probably be the eventual conclusion

but throwing that all away, it would be really, REALLY funny if the rest of the town, being really fuckin nosy and getting into the juiciest gossip they've had in decades, took one look at michael "big teddy bear falling asleep on himself" schmidt and said "there's no way. there's no way this guy murdered his aunt, stabbed an officer and then destroyed his own workplace, especially when he really needed that job and was on sleeping medication," and then turned around to look at abby "neurodivergent in the early 2000s (ableist af time period)" "vocally hates her aunt" "doesn't talk to anyone and claims that she can see ghosts" "vaguely possessive of her brother" "claims that she found the guy who hurt her friends and got him jumped by a cupcake(?)" schmidt and said "oh my god. it was her."

and nobody's gonna directly say anything but they've got cautious eyes on the situation and someone quietly slips mike a copy of the bad seed to see if he has a realization but instead he's just like "hey this book kinda reminds of that golden freddy kid lmao. wonder how he's doin" and then we smashcut to golden freddy kid poking springtrap with a stick

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Pines Headcanons [Happy Birthday, Grunkles]

I cannot believe I just now got reminded of this- holy shit. Unfortunately, I'm not an artist so have these headcanons instead about Stan and Ford

Stanley ‘Lee’ Pines

He’s bisexual. This is not up for debate (/lh). It just made sense for him 

Stanley is ambidextrous. He can write and utilize both his left and right hands. This was something he self-taught himself in after the portal accident 

On the power of ‘I said so’, Stan does have some level of book smarts but instead of math or science- it’s creative writing. He’s got the talent for it; however, he rarely - if ever - shares these stories with anyone

Stan has some form of neurodivergency. Young Stan definitely gives the impression of ADHD but also I feel he’s got dyslexia- don’t ask me why. This is canon now

He does have scars from the time he spent on the run and doing his sales. I’m not sure what they are exactly, but just know he has them 

Stan knows martial arts. Other than boxing, I feel he would’ve taught himself in other forms of fighting- like the ones done on the streets and it’s a weird mix of martial arts and free-style fighting

He can be a bit of a poet, but for the most part- Stan prefers show-and-tell as his love language. He will present his partner with gifts, and makes sure they understand he’s there for them 

He’s kind of protective over his partners, and definitely has gotten into fights in an attempt to protect their honor. It’s ill-placed sometimes but he’s not about to let some bozo mess with them

Stan always sought his father’s approval. He attempted multiple times to perfect his studying skills before the science fair accident, but apparently Old Pa Pines didn’t seem to notice and the rest, well, it was already history

He fantasized of being a pirate when he was a kid. This is where the whole thing of going on a seafaring adventure with Ford came from! Unfortunately due to canon events, this soured out but he held onto a photograph he and Ford took in front of the beach as a memoir

He’s very much not a big fan of vegetables

Stanford ‘Ford’ Pines

He’s arospec and ace!

Ford absolutely loves puzzles. Why? It just weirdly fitting for his character

He definitely has C-PTSD following the events of Weirdmaggedon

Autistic Ford? Autistic Ford. There is no way he doesn’t have it- I said what I said

Before he got involved in the strange and paranormal, one of Ford’s main interests was actually crystals and rocks! It felt weirdly fitting for his character, and here we are

Ford is more of a cat person. At one point, he rescued a cat-adjacent creature from an auction and named her ‘Nova’. Of course, it’s far from a cat but well, we’ll get to that later

He would be into LARP if it exists in the Gravity Falls canon. Like, that man is a nerd and already enjoys the show’s version of Dungeons and Dragons, there’s just no way he wouldn’t participate in LARP

He does have scars from his time in other dimensions for thirty years. He’s very secretive about them and doesn’t let anyone see- not even Stanley

Ford deals with the aftermath of a burnt-out gifted kid- like, he was the prodigal son and got all the right honors, scores, all of it but as he got older- the more he struggled, the more he felt like something was missing. As the golden child, he was brought up with the notion he would be important but then got smacked in the face when he realized none of it truly mattered

He had a lot of issues adjusting to his new life in Gravity Falls, Oregon after he was brought back from the portal. Ford’s triggered fight-or-flight response would kick in with unexpected situations- like, he’s definitely pulled a blaster/space gun

He likes hot chocolate

Ford enjoys cuddle piles, let’s be honest here. Once he gets more comfortable, he begins making nests with the rest of the Pines family

He’s protective of his family!

I’ll try and come up with new headcanons soon, but since I took too long releasing this- given I got sick unfortunately, I decided to post a smaller version 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my spouse to open up our relationship?

Tl;dr: He said no years ago but our sex life is non-existent and I'm climbing the walls.

Full story:

Me (early 30s, NB) and my partner (late 30s, M) have been together for over a decade. We have a kid, a mortgage and enough interests in common to keep each other entertained. He's a genuinely good person and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. BUT.

We met before I hit 20, and he was my first ever serious relationship. Our sex life tanked about two years in, but we both had other things going on, and over time I blamed many different factors: living conditions, shift work, my weight gain, health issues, differences in upbringing, levels of queerness - you name it. In the last few years I helped him through a serious medical condition (think two surgeries and a long recovery), but once he was nominally in the clear my mental health went down the drain and I haven't really been back to normal since.

For a while, I had a really good counsellor and for once got to talk about some of the less savoury shit going on in my noggin. It all ended up on a Realisation that we only had sex while sober on a laughably small number of occasions, and any and all attempts on my part to spice things up ended at best with affectionately confounded denial or just a straight up brick wall. I got sober a few years before he did (I'm talking 'uh oh maybe we're having too many too often' rather than 'out of control alcoholism'), which effectively ended our sex life altogether. At this point I'm looking at a solid year since my husband last touched me, and even then it was after he came home from a pub in a silly mood so neither of us ended up getting much out of it. And it's not even the longest stretch.

I floated this as an issue a number of times, and every time he agreed it's something to work on then did precisely zilch. I told him point blank once that I wouldn't be opposed to an open relationship, but he was vehemently against, because that's the first step to a break up in his mind. I suggested he might be ace (there are several clues to that, not just my increasingly unhinged internet history), bought the book as a way to start a discussion - he put it on a shelf and never looked at it again.

After my Big Bad Breakdown earlier this year we ended up in family counselling. It quickly became clear that there are so many things he just Didn't Consider that the sex thing didn't even get mentioned, then we ran out of slots and he hasn't followed up on any of his revelations from the sessions, so I feel like digging in is a lost cause.

I love him, don't want to leave him and quite frankly couldn't even if I did because the UK is a financial ruin. I also have some extremely unfulfilled needs, and can't even rub one out in peace because he finds it weird (???). Even if I didn't find cheating morally Too Far it sounds exhausting and I already have too much going on. I haven't been the easiest person to be around for the last few months, but this has been a years-long issue. So, WBITA to start the conversation on the open relationship again, despite the negative feedback I had previously?

(If it helps, we both have different flavours of neurodivergence, although mine is under treatment and his largely ignored.)

What are these acronyms?

[gretahayes]

AITA for stalking my brother around NYC as a child?

Hi! Before you judge, please hear me out. Throwaway account because my family knows my main reddit account and I'd like to wait as long as possible before the mocking starts.

So, I (m21) am adopted. My oldest brother, NW (m28), and I weren't always brothers. I met him (formally) when I was 13 and he was 20. I was adopted when I was 16, and somewhere during those three years, we became brothers.

That aside, I was a weird fucking kid. I've always been super smart, and I've got a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease and a skewed sense of boundaries, likely due to my neurodivergency.

So, when I was younger (think 9-13), I developed an odd sort of habit. I had a...special interest, of sorts, in NW and his team (friends). They were (and are) my heroes. When I could (boarding school, could only sneak out so much), I followed them around during their adventures, without their knowledge. I didn't tell them because I didn't want to intrude, and I knew they'd send me home.

Eventually, I met my brother and his friends, and the rest is history. I got to know them personally, and I still didn't tell them, in part cause I felt like it would have been weird and in part cause it really didn't occur to me.

Fast forward until two weeks ago. NW was talking about one of their newest escapades, and it reminded me of one of their earliest adventures, so I was like "this is just like that time when so and so happened". First, he was like "oh yeah, it is!" then he paused and gave me an odd look, then said "I didn't tell you about that. Did [other teammates] tell you?"

I, not thinking, said no, I was there. NW said no I wasn't. I said, yes, I was, they just didn't know. I then realized what I said but before I could backpedal, NW laughed and affectionately called me a weird little stalker, then moved on.

NW has been teasing me about it since then, especially since he got it out of me that it wasn't the first or last time I followed them around, and that I took "baby stalker photos", to quote him.

So I wanted to know, am I the asshole? I know it's an unusual hobby, sure, but is it really that bad? AITA?

[foggyfanfic]

Mirabel Thoughts

Writing from the perspective of a villager and trying to decide how the different Madrigals look from the outside, and Mirabel is the one I’m having a hard time pinning. As usual, putting the thoughts to screen helps.

So obviously Mirabel doesn’t receive the same level of admiration as Isabela or Abuela, and she doesn’t seem to be relied upon as heavily as Luisa and Julieta. The warm color branch of the family seems to be high charisma, so they’re probably popular in the more traditional sense. And of course we know that Bruno is the least liked Madrigal. So what social niche is Mirabel fulfilling?

She doesn’t seem to be disliked, although she is shown to be pitied by the villagers (the “not special” special), she’s probably looked down upon just a little. She probably had to deal with some bullying from other kids, but not Complete Social Pariah levels. The threat of being the next Bruno is looming over her head but she’s not quite there yet.

I think, since she must fall somewhere on the middle of Popular to Pariah scale, she’s the sort of person who gets voted Everybody’s Best Friend in school. Idk if you had any one like this at your school, but when I was fifteen I had a few people who I didn’t think of as popular because they weren’t endlessly charismatic, constantly the center of attention, or noticeably cooler than the rest of us. But looking back, everyone liked them because they were just so nice. I’m picturing the girl who eventually ended up being voted Homecoming Queen for my grade specifically. I’ll name drop because it wasn’t her legal name and it’s a very common one.

So, Mary had a lot in common with Mirabel. She was intelligent, easy to talk to, and always happy to help. I didn’t think of her as being glamorously beautiful the same way Mirabel isn’t designed to be the next Disney Princess, but she was pretty and Mirabel is too. I didn’t think of her as being cool or an A-list kid or anything because she sometimes said things in an awkward way, or embarrassed herself, like Mirabel falling over stuff in the movie. While there were people that felt “cool” and who I therefore wanted to impress, Mary was just plain old pleasant to be around, I wanted to talk to her because I felt comfortable around her and enjoyed our conversations. And I thought of her as a friend because she treated me like a friend, she treated everybody like a friend, even people I thought sucked. She was very much down to earth and probably a lot more mature than I was at the time. I remember being pleasantly surprised to see her name on the ballot for homecoming queen, and even more so when she beat out the girl who fell more in line with what TV told me popular looks like. It really reframed the way I saw people. While it’s true that snobs and bullies sometimes gain social currency by convincing people they’re at the top of the ladder, being a genuine friend gets you farther than you realize.

I doubt Mirabel is a one to one comparison to this real world person I knew in high school, but I figure she probably has similar social standing. She has the social currency of being a Madrigal, then add in the fact that she would seem so much more down to earth than the other Madrigals while still being friendly and helpful, and you end up with a Mary. People probably don’t flock to her, but if I were fifteen and in the Encanto you could bet your ass I’d be happy to sit with her at lunch or see her at a party. I’m sure impressionable young me would be just as star struck as the rest of the villagers when it comes to Camilo and Isabela, and wiser adult me would of course want to hang out with Bruno, but I would be pleasantly surprised to see Mirabel’s name on the ballot for Harvest Festival Queen or whatever, and I would vote for her because “that’s my friend”.

Furthermore, Mirabel reminds me of somebody who has some sorta neurodivergence but flies under the radar with it. Considering the Madrigals seem to have a family history of anxiety disorders, Mirabel could too, autism is also in the running since Bruno and Antonio both show signs of it. She does remind me of a guy I knew at college #2 who had an anxiety disorder that bordered on being a physical disability rather than straight neurodivergence. For the most part his anxiety didn’t bother him, then every once in a while his body would decide “Ok! It’s panic attack time!” and he would start experiencing all the physical symptoms of a panic attack with no warning. The first time it happened to him he straight up thought he was having a heart attack because it was so out of no where. He was also not cool, but very kind and friendly, so I’m going to choose to believe that’s what Mirabel has going on. This figures into the equation because I’ve noticed that neurodivergent folks that fly under the radar usually get labeled as “quirky” and it’s considered a good trait, a relatable trait, but not necessarily a cool trait.

Conclusion: I am now convinced that Mirabel is considered the least “popular” Madrigal, but everybody sees her as their friend. She probably has the most genuine connections with the other residents of Encanto, followed by Félix and Agustín, then Luisa and Pepa (who work with the villagers doing odd jobs or watering the crops), then Alma and Dolores (Alma having real friends from before she was A Big Deal, and Dolores having earned a few very loyal friends by keeping their secrets), then Camilo and Julieta each have one or two friends outside the family but are much beloved/admired in a more superficial way, then Isabela is the most popular but also technically the most lonely since not even her family gets hints at her real self until after the movie. Bruno is, of course, in a league of his own because he’s in the walls, so yeah. And Antonio is five, so it’s a little too soon to judge.

[gemmahale]

a little late but re: WIP ask game -

MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE MUSEUM MUSE

WIP Ask Game

Oh Mads. You and your love for Museum Muse will never cease to delight me. (And there is no such thing as too late, I promise.)

You clarified in DM's that you were curious about how their first DM goes. I haven't gotten there yet, so I don't exactly know. 😅 I just know the circumstances.

So, instead, I'll offer you this: the stories behind their usernames and some of the forums they are frequent in. (Usernames fuckin' suck to come up with, okay? Especially because John and Daisy are both alive at the advent of the internet.)

Under the cut because I...I did world building again. 😅 Sorry not sorry.

Divider Courtesy of @thecutestgrotto

John's username: TinkerKelpie93

In my canon, kiddo John was the kid that took everything apart and put it back together - just to see how it worked. The radio, the clock, the lawn mower, you name it, he could fix it (most likely). Kid was building inventions in the garage where his father worked with scrap parts cast aside from the vehicles repaired.

His granda (his Da's dad) encouraged him up until his death when John was in his early teens. He told stories to wee John about his ancestors, the Scottish Travellers (from my research, they're similar to/adjacent to Romani populations in Scotland- if a Scot wants to correct my history, please do! I want to do this right. 💚) who are/were called "Tinkers" (usually in a negative connotation - literally meaning "itinerant tinsmith").

So Tinker is a bit of a historical nod to his family history and his tendency to "tinker" with things when he's thinking (hello neurodivergency, it's good to see you. 😅)

His love for Scottish Mythology (and the Kelpie part of his name) is courtesy of his Gran (Mum's Mom). She was a school teacher, and loved teaching the mythos of the region. They had a place on the edge of a small loch, and she would always warn him away from the water with a reminder of the stories about the kelpies trying to drown children. As he grew into his artistic practice, he did this detailed Kelpie artwork to give her for the holidays featuring her house, the swing by the loch and the landscape with the fearful mythological creature in the center of the lake that still hangs over her mantle. This John loves oil pastels and charcoal (it's the tactile part), but will make do with pencils when he's in country.

And 93 because, well, he was born April [redacted], 1993. This man's an Aries, y'all. (Bite me on the date. I have my timeline to back me up.)

Divider Courtesy of @thecutestgrotto

Daisy's username: IrisOfTheLake

Daisy's a symbology and history nerd. (Her love for mythology and art is how she ended up getting a degree specializing in the Still Life paintings of the Dutch Golden Age by female artists, but that's another story. She almost studied Arthurian Legends instead, but decided art history and preservation were her true academic love.)

Her aunt has a prolific collection of irises - she's incredibly active in the British Iris Society and Daisy spent many many seasons after school helping her dig and divide them to share with the neighbors and the other members. She even helped her aunt with cross-pollinating and some breeding attempts (though her aunt didn't progress very far down that road for reasons).

Iris is also the Greek Goddess of messages, often said to arrive on rainbows. Iris flowers hold a number of meanings in the floral language, including hope and wisdom. (Can you see where I'm going with this? I hope so.)

"OfTheLake" directly refers to the legends of King Arthur and the Lady of the Lake. (I told y'all, she was a nerd about this shit.) Y'know, the one that gives the sword Excalibur to Arthur and disposes of Merlin? That Lady of the Lake. Badass bitch if I ever heard of one, who holds a lot of wisdom and knowledge to help others achieve their goals.

Why IrisOfTheLake? It sounded good and smashed two of her early fascinations and hobbies together. 😊 (And the irony of our girl having not one but two flower nicknames makes me giggle.)

Divider Courtesy of @thecutestgrotto

Both John and Daisy recognize each other from lurking and posting in a number of forums together, including art history and BDSM. John regularly shares his more refined drawings (usually done on leave or during long waiting periods), and Daisy is regularly active in the floral symbiology threads, talking about the language of flowers and meaning and bullshit like that. (I just realized I have to write all this, fuck me.)

Anyway, they bond over some dipshit in the BDSM forum espousing some gender essentialism bullshit - men are doms, women are subs, blah blah blah. Daisy has an eloquent take on it, John just wants to thrash them for being so black and white and says as much.

Who reaches out first? To be seen. (I have to leave you some mystery lol.)

[gleamingtempest]

Danganronpa Despair Time Foils

TL;DR - The foils of the main cast of the killing game in Danganronpa Despair Time are foreshadowed in the chapter 1 recap video. - Hey hey! As said above, premise is pretty simple. While based on the initial impressions alone not all of these seem to make sense, connections and shared themes can be found between all of the pairings presented in the chapter 1 recap video which is what makes me think they are foils. This is not concrete evidence and you are free to disagree! I'd love to hear others opinions and discourse regarding the topic in the comments. ^^ I will be making more in depth analysis posts on each of these pairings in the future. All screenshots are attributed and credited to the Danganronpa Despair Time channel. Please watch the original video & series as a whole! For some extra clarity:

From Wikipedia Here we go.

Foil #1 - Xander the Rebel & Min the Student

Shared Themes & Topics: Resenting their talents, resenting academia, importance to Teruko Tawaki, red/warm color pallets, pro & anti authority perspectives

Clarifications & Other Notes: They share a relationship of culprit & victim, giving them a unique dynamic in the story. A clear precedent for tension & conflict was set in their dynamic from their first interaction, though until the murder this was minimal.

Foil #2 - Teruko the Lucky Student & Charles the Chemist

Shared Themes & Topics: Distrust, social isolation, amnesia/obscured pasts, Pragmatism, Logic V. Fate Clarifications & Other Notes: Teruko & Charles had opposite upbringings with one being very privileged and the other being borderline or literally homeless. They have butted heads since day one and seem to be going in opposite directions as characters atm. They have had many scenes of direct conflict & tension.

Foil #3 - Eden the Clockmaker & Arei the Bowler

Shared Themes & Topics: Friendship, kindness/cruelty, Hope & Trust, Optimism, Naivety Clarifications & Other Notes: Arei has always been openly antagonistic towards Eden & Eden has expressed very clearly that she wants to get closer to Arei. Arei was devastated by Arei's death and Arei has expressed that Eden is everything she was not allowed to be but deeply desires to be.

Foil #4 - Nico the Pet Therapist & Ace the Jockey

Shared Themes & Topics: Bullying, Anxiety, Neurodivergence (Heavily Implied), Animals, Strength/Control Clarifications & Other Notes: Ace has an explicit history of cruelly bullying Nico while Nico has a confirmed past of being bullied by others for their identity as a non-binary person. Nico has attempted to murder Ace.

Foil #5 - Hu the Zither Player & Veronika the Horror Fanatic

Shared Themes & Topics: S*****e/S**f H**m, Lack of Purpose/Boredom Clarifications & Other Notes: There have been no explicit scenes of tension between the two. It is heavily implied that they have each others secrets. Hu has been portayed as 'motherly' & thoughtful while Veronika has been portrayed as 'childish' & impulsive.

Foil #6 - Rose the Art Forger & J the Effects Artist

Shared Themes & Topics: Identity Issues, Lack of Agency, Troubled Family Relations, Art/Performance Clarifications & Other Notes: There have been no explicit scenes of tension between the two. Rose has lost her passion for her talent while J has stated that she really loves her talent. Both have more powerful figures in their lives which have in some way stripped them of their agency to explore their identity on their own terms.

Foil #7 - Arturo the Plastic Surgeon & Levi the Personal Stylist

Shared Themes & Topics: 'Sinful' pasts, Troubled Family Relationships, Aesthetic/Cosmetic Talents Clarifications & Other Notes: These two have had one scene where there was some light tension & conflict established. Levi is portrayed humble & down to earth while Arturo is portrayed as haughty & excessively prideful. While Arturo's past is not explicitly or literally sinful, it is heavily implied that he subconsciously feels guilty for the death of his younger sister. Levi is heavily implied to have the heartless murderer secret based on the small number of secrets left & his secret quote where he laments over his 'heartlessness'. Both seem to have a tense relationship with their family with Levi having been literally disowned & Arturo seeming to be no contact with his family for one reason or another. Levi's talent focuses on making someone the best version of what they already are while Arturo's focuses on making you into someone else entirely. (Plastic surgery is not literally this but this is how he portrays it.)

Foil #8 - Whit the Matchmaker & David the Inspirational Speaker

Shared Themes & Topics: Optimism, Nihilism, Apathy, Depression, Kindness/Cruelty, Trauma Clarifications & Other Notes: Whit's primary visual motif is hearts while David's is stars. Hearts are essential, intimate & personal while stars are pretty but distant & uninhabitable. David's true nature is cold and uncaring while Whit is portrayed as very empathetic & mindful of others. Both characters seem to struggle in some way with feelings of apathy and nihilism, though they seem to deal with this in very different ways. Whit had David's secret & tried to keep it until he learned his true nature, at which point he remarked that 'his career was in trouble for reasons out of his (whit's) control'. David is intially inviting & kind while Whit is initially somewhat abrasive & insensitive. -

Tysm for reading if you did! I'd love to hear your thoughts down below, as well as any other shared themes/topics you can see applying to any of these characters. Hu & Veronika in particular is a pairing I don't understand super well but would love to hear more about!

Not sure when I'll post the individual analysis posts but I look forward to doing so when I do. Bye bye!

[rentumblsstuff]

Stacy headcanons? Since I love the way you write her

OOOO YAY UHHH LEMME SEE

My biggest headcanon for her is that Melissa (TGWDLM, Hey Melissa) is her cousin. She’s not a serial killer but she does have a little bit of a screw-loose like her. She also loves cats (and as opposed to being all serial-killer-y about people being animals, she’s really just into petplay-)

That connection being established, I think her family is rich! In Miss Holloween (a couple scenes were read in one of the fundraising livestreams for Cinderella’s Castle), it’s established that Stacy goes to college at Vassar in New York and that is not easy to get into and not cheap, so they’ve gotta have a bit of dough ykwim??? And in Hey Melissa, it’s stated Melissa flew all her friends in, and paying for 3 peoples’ airline tickets can’t be cheap. So……… They’re well-off.

DOM.👏 ENOUGH SAID.

She wears vanilla perfume!

Neurodivergent (and is very unaware of this) and cheer is one of her special interests! She’s also involved in the dance team at Hatchetfield High and could go on an infinitely long rant about the history of any given genre of dance (cause “what kind of a dancer doesn’t know that stuff???” A lot of them, Stacy… a lot of them.)

She also LOVES Sanrio and is secretly a huge fan of “girly” animes. She’s always wanted to bond with Richie over their shared love of Japanese culture but they were never really allowed to interact before Max “went missing.” Her favorite anime is Kakegurui and she tried to learn how to play card games because of it.

She was THRIVING with the whole e-girl look in 2020 and that’s usually how she dressed when she didn’t have to wear her cheer uniform. She WOULD HAVE been bullied for it if that’s not what everyone else was wearing too.

She’s got double d’s and this headcanon is PURELY because of the Stacy’s Melons thing from Abstinence Camp

In the future she experiments more with her hair because now she can do so without fear of getting bullied

Her favorite colors are baby blue and pastel pink.

Back to Stacy attending Vassar, I think she majored in women’s studies. Cause I don’t think anything else suits her better.

She’s had a crush on Richie for a while and hasn’t acted on it because she’s worried she’ll get bullied too, he’ll get bullied harder than he already does, or that her approach to flirting/asking him out will be too forward and creepy because she’s been told she comes across that way by other boys in the past.

Tw in this paragraph for SH; When Richie first admits to her when they start dating that he struggles with his mental health, she kisses the scars on his arms that he shows her.

If she had to be claimed by a LiB I think it’d be Blinky. She has a lil bit of stalkerish tendencies that he would appreciate. (Steph is Wiggly-claimed and Brenda is Nibbly-claimed just for reference in my head :])

If the NPMD cast was in a polar opposites AU where they’re all the opposites of themselves I think Opposite!Stacy would essentially serve the same function as Ruth, but she’s not role swapped with Ruth if you get what I mean.

SADIST. Paddles and clamps and shit dude. All her sex toys are super cutesy and aesthetic too. Definitely owns a couple tails.

I think with guys she’s dated before, they’ve done stuff but never gone all the way, so she’s technically a virgin. None of them could match her freak anyways 💅 she likes hearing about Steph’s hookups though; living vicariously through her best friend is fun and she totally doesn’t feel like an animal scratching at its enclosure to get out whaaaaaaaaat???

Trying to think of a wholesome one to end on hold on-

Her favorite fruit is pineapple because she learned that there’s an enzyme in it called Bromelain that breaks down proteins, so when you eat pineapple, it eats you back. She thinks that’s sick as fuck.

She watched Tiger King three times.

OH and her favorite app on her phone is Pinterest. She’s OBSESSED. Her boards are all perfectly organized, not a pin out of place.

There’s 20 headcanons :) thank you for reading !!! <3

[heartfulselkie]

How was year 2023 for you looking back ?

I'll admit I was going to say something along the lines of "Oh, it's been just another year! 🙃"

But you know what? No. It hasn't "been just another year." I've had so much happen this past year that I had to think for a good minute about it - because did all this really happen in a single year???

Yeah I've had my usual run of mental health slips. Some of them really bad.

But I've had so many wins this year too!

I finally took the time to really think about myself and feel comfortable in who and what I am. I finally said out loud to someone that I'm nonbinary. I talked with my counsellor about my issue with my physical appearance from my gender dysphoria. I came out to my family. I'm going by a new name now (socially at least), one that I feel better matches my gender identity.

And I started school again! After spending so long in such poor mental health where I couldn't even work, I'm now finally embracing doing something I love! I can finally say to my child-self: "You know what? You weren't wrong about wanting to be an artist. And you are good at it and love doing it!"

Yes, I'm doing an actual art course now! And I am loving every minute of it (even when the stress is high). I'm even planning on doing another year of it!

I've gotten friendly with the people in my class. It's been so long since I've had a physical, in-person sense of community. I thought it was something I'd never have again - but now I get to go into class and just talk with people and share dumb jokes. And its such a positive and supportive atmosphere! We're all artistic and of different lgbtq+ identities as well as neurodivergencies. (Through peer review it turns out I might actually fall somewhere on the autism scale - who knew? No wonder younger me was such a mess.)

For the first time in I don't even know how long, I've finally started to feel at least somewhat comfortable with myself. I'm done pretending to be a person I'm not and trying to fit other people's boxes. I still have my struggles and have a lot of history/traumas/whatever to process, but I feel so much better now that I finally feel secure enough to learn what kind of person I am. And I'm so lucky to be around people that are okay with that!

My family for the most part are accepting of where I am now. They don't really get "nonbinary", but most of them are still making efforts to use my chosen name. My relationship with one parent is still a trainwreck (I don't think its salvageable at this point tbh) but my relationship with my other parent has improved so much this past year. We now talk on regular basis and they have been my biggest supporter for both who I am as well as my artistic endeavours.

It's been one hell of a year. 2023 is the year I finally started feeling human. It's the year I started feeling like me again.

[vaspider]

hi there! im a trans person that's Jewish by blood but was not raised that way and i was hoping to ask some questions about where to learn about judaism (and general jewish culture) if that's ok!

to provide context: my great-grandparents were practicing Jews, but they stopped practicing and changed their names to escape attention during WW2, and, as far as we know, did not start practicing again until they were near-death in old age and revealed to my grandparents their jewish history.

this led to one of my closer family members to begin partially practicing judaism, but uh... in a way that i now know to be tied up with Zionism. when i got curious and asked about the culture and the history of our people, i got a whole bunch of Zionist rhetoric tied in, which i thought didnt sound awfully nice! this, tied in with them using Kabbalah to (falsely, ive discovered) justify some rather nasty takes about my gender identity and neurodivergence (such as. uh. neither of them existing) led to me deciding that i didnt want anything to do with the culture as a whole, thinking that that was all there was to it.

thanks to your blog, and others on tumblr, ive discovered that i have been incredibly wrong! and was simply unlucky with my One Connection to my culture, and i find that i resonate with some of the ideas i have seen really strongly?

so! i wanted to ask (and i must emphasise, only if it is not too much effort, I don't want to be a bother!) if you might know of any good online resources for beginners wanting to learn about Jewish culture and Judaism (And perhaps Kabbalah!) preferably without Zionist rhetoric, lol, because i think i may just want to reconnect with my culture after all.

thank you so much, even if it was just reading this, as ive wanted to just state it for a while <33

Wow, that's... a lot, to be sure.

My general basic recommendations for people looking for 101-level information is My Jewish Learning as well as the Union for Reform Judaism's Introduction to Judaism online classes. URJ has been trans-affirming as a movement since 2003 or 2004. There's also their whole Learning section, which has a lot!

Jewish Virtual Library has a lot of resources in it; it's run by AICE, so do with that what you will. Sefaria is also a huge virtual library of Jewish texts.

That said, Judaism is first and foremost a people and a culture, so I would actually highly recommend that you talk to a rabbi and see about attending an Intro to Judaism class near you. Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist movements are all trans-affirming; I've personally had my best experiences at a Reform shul and an independent shul.

[fennthetalkingdog]

You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:

"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"

So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)

But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.

So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?

[enbycrip]

A fascinating and bittersweet part of my family history here, and a sign of how the lives of very ordinary people end up entwined with the wider world, which here in Britain in the mid-20th century meant with Empire.

This book belonged to my Granda, from when he was sent to Kenya to do National Service. He was, of course, a working class white boy from urban Glasgow, who had already been working full time since he was 14. I grew up with his stories about his time out there - it was frightening, and difficult, because it was so different from what he knew, and he had no choice or say in where or when he went, but it was also incredibly exciting and interesting for him.

I’m entirely sure that he, like most of my family, was neurodivergent, and my guess is autistic; I recognise so many of his mannerisms and features from myself. That can only have made being suddenly moved right out of his context so much more difficult for him. I know he found army discipline initially very difficult; much like me, he always found being told what to do for no good reason incredibly challenging, and all his later jobs were either self-employed - he was a taxi driver for 30+ years - or very self-directed. But he also got to learn to drive a jeep, and then to join the Signals Corps and learn radio physics, which had been a special interest for him since he was a child, and he would never have managed to fund a university degree.

And of course, as this book shows, he got to meet incredibly interesting people from somewhere very different from his own culture, and learn to speak their language. When I was small, he told me a lot of the funniest stories, like the time he and his pal borrowed a couple of horses and mocked up cowboy outfits because all the Kenyan guys in his platoon had only really seen white people in cowboy movies before they joined up, and had a running joke that all of them were actually cowboys at home, so they could go in and be like “Yeehaw, you’ve found us out!”

But he also told me a lot of the stuff that bothered him about being part of the machinery of Empire even when I was small, and, as he said, “I was just a wee boy then myself and didn’t know anything about anything either”; things like him being put in command of a Kenyan squad of black soldiers literally just because he was white. He told me about being expected to give orders to this incredibly experienced sergeant in his forties, who had been through WWII, when he was a 17 year old working class boy from Glasgow, and being very much “there is no way this is remotely right, or makes any sense whatsoever.” My Granda, of course, was a member of the Communist Party, and I think being in the position of seeing - and having to be part of - colonialism and Empire close-up definitely influenced his politics later in life.

He also got to meet just ordinary Kenyan people too; he told me stories about going to the markets to buy stuff from old ladies who reminded him of the ladies selling in the Barras back in Glasgow, and when one of his guys got married and brought his new wife in to meet everyone. She was initially very nervous, but then laughed her head off as my Granda tried out his Swahili on her.

My Granda died in 2019, just a few months before COVID first hit. He’s still very present to me in so many ways - I have a photo of him up in my kitchen, and inherited his compost bins and rain butt for my garden - but I always think of him in particular when I’m working on my history stuff. I’m going to treasure this book.

I think a lot about this whenever anyone claims modern Brits “shouldn’t have to feel guilty about Empire”. This is a place where my direct family history intersects very directly with Empire just two generations back from me. And yes, my Granda was just a radio operator and a driver, was never more than a private, and happily left the army as soon as he could. But he was still part of the imperial machinery when Britain was doing horrendous shit in Kenya, little as he wanted to be, and much as he felt having to do that was imposed on him as a Scot for an English Empire.

And of course he, like I, grew up and have lived our lives in Glasgow, a city whose wealth was built on imports from sugar plantations, and imperial trade, and thus from slavery. And so both of us benefitted from that, despite being just ordinary working class people.

This is the nature of Empire. The benefits and the oppression are both frequently diffuse. Co-option happens. While some people benefit *enormously* - there are still many *incredibly* wealthy families descended from slave owners who have only used that wealth to further entrench their privilege - and far more only suffer exploitation, in such a vast institution so many people live in a complex place where they experience both benefits and exploitation, in a thousand complex variations.

So I don’t see it as being about “guilt”, but about acknowledgement, and about reparations. There are things I owe to people who are still experiencing adverse circumstances, poverty and exploitation now because of things the British Empire did that I am still benefitting from the results of. Sometimes that’s direct mutual aid, to individuals or organisations. Sometimes it’s fighting for my country to provide reparations, change its actions, or even just acknowledge actions and ongoing benefit. And sometimes it’s learning, and passing that knowledge on.

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

How Our Flag Means Death impacted my life

It’s been said so many times but the impact this to show has had on me is beyond comprehension. I am still living in the aftermath. Every day, I cannot grasp my luck of finding it and loving it. Hyperfixation or not, it’s been a while so I conclude it is safe to be put as a special interest by now; to care so much about something that makes you feel good and understood, is utterly important to have, I have realised.

My experiences in other, different, fandoms on Twitter as a teenager, have been very different and I guess it has something to do with growing up and learning more about yourself as much as it has to do without approach and handling of it all – we are all here for this show and we are damn grateful for its existence. We do not take it for granted and so we lovingly create more art and thereby put more love into the world. Isn’t this what life is all about? Adding care and love.

Coming back to my point, ever since starting to watch Our Flag Means Death, I have had this inner sense of calm inside of me, which I never had before.

It is hard to explain but I did notice that my sensory issues, especially misophonia, have been less of a problem. And that is huge. There is one noise source in particular, which is the fridge, if you want to know, but it can be triggered by anything, and I have been struggling with this for many years… There only has to be some trigger, such as the wind howling too strongly or any other sound, really, and I feel like the world is going to collapse because every thing gets too loud and too much.

Now, for a few months, it hasn’t been like that. It was almost scary at first due to the unfamiliarity of the absence of, well, mental pain…

Regarding the show’s successful portrayal of queerness – yes, that has been life–changing for me as well.

I have identified as nonbinary as long as I can think. I vividly remember this specific moment from my childhood when I was sitting there, on my own, thinking, I do not feel like a girl, I do not feel like any gender, I just feel like myself. It’s a strange memory to have but it was so vivid that I treasure how it stuck with me.

When I was a teenager, I never had any romantic, God forbid sexual, interest, except for the occasional crush on a boy or girl, which naturally made me conclude that I was bi or pan. As of today, I am still not feeling any of these attractions. However, as I explain in this post, some kind of attractions have been felt. One thing is clear, if I do feel anything beyond, it would be for any gender.

The show basically says, whatever, we’re all queer, and that is so beautiful and validating to me because my family and other surroundings are so heteronormative that I often question my validity and worth.

There have barely ever been other queer people in my immediate surroundings, which means that acceptance or even understanding is not something that I would expect.

In hindsight, this is a big part of why I always struggled with confidence and self-love.

There is a lot I could write about my family history but I will just shorten it to, I did grow up without a father from the age of 7 and my relationship with him is rather torn.

I am so moved by how they decided to give Ed and Stede these backstories regarding their relationship with their fathers and families and portray these issues in such a delicate and serious manner and how they can impact your whole life.

I am thankful for how serious they have taken all of these things.

These are characters that have experienced similar difficult upbringings and are struggling with the consequences into their adulthood.

I have never gotten an official diagnosis but from my childhood experiences and later struggles in life it is safe to say that I am neurodivergent. The relationship with my mother is very difficult as well, which definitely played a part in how I never understood that some of my behaviour and so on was a result of being different in that way instead of deliberate. During my childhood and teenage years, there have been instances of different kinds of abuse, however I will not elaborate further.

These struggles are always individual and personal but I will just say that I do suffer from the fear of being abandoned and yes, it makes maintaining relationships, such as friendships, challenging.

Because you constantly feel like you do not deserve anyone caring about you or enjoying your company. Genuinely, I have never believed this.

Even if I have learned to like myself more and be confident in my abilities. I still feel like a burden whenever I am with someone else. It doesn’t go away. Part of it is due to struggling with social cues as well as the general preference of being alone.

And I do enjoy my own company. But it would be nice to one day find someone I can fully trust and freely share my thoughts with.

Basically, what Ed and Stede have found in each other… and I guess what makes them so different to other ships is not only that they are actually a canon couple but the way they are so natural and gentle with each other?!

They accept each other wholeheartedly.

They see each other in such a genuine way… unconditionally. Not without hardships but always with such a willingness to make it better, to keep fighting, continue to live for the sake of love and love only.

Another serious struggle has been my eating disorder (anorexia) which (along with overexercising) lead me to have secondary amenorrhea for many years, which in turn, was a very blissful thing for me due to gender reasons. A big thing that has happened shortly after discovering the show has been my period coming back. My reaction was denial, then anger, then determination that I would not let this bring me down…

The show did ground me in that emotionally, I have handled it, somehow, and carried on.

I am so thankful for it all and much, much more.

There is so much to say and never enough words to express my gratitude. This show means something different to everyone. Everyone finds bits and pieces in it which make them feel the same kind of appreciation and love and this is just my share.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you, dear reader. Sending you a warm hug, if that’s alright with you.

[firealder2005]

Things that happened in the past that looking back might be because I am ADHD:

*I would read before class and COMPLETELY zone out. Ears blocked, unaware of time passing, the whole shabang. Missed the first 20 minutes of class a few times.

My English teacher (from the same class as above) straight-up told me that he didn't consider me one of the 'good students' because I read a lot (like. sir. what the fuck. so many things wrong in that statement. why are you teaching kids.)

(i wonder what he would say if i said 'you know when i would read before/in class and completely forget where i was? :) yeah turns out it's because i'm neurodivergent and have the kind where i literally can't turn off my brain and zone out/daydream without realizing it :)) you weren't being helpful when you lectured me all the time :))) )

*Hyperfixated like HELL on astronomy. ONLY astronomy. rest of science could die and i wouldn't have blinked an eye (nevermind astronomy wouldn't exist without other sciences but eh schematics). i was The NERD.

*I was considered The Weird Kid. for the typical stupid middle-school reasons;

Liked to read (gasp! how uncool! until it was suddenly 'cool' in high school)

Was nice to the one teacher everyone else hated for no reason (no wonder i was his favorite smh. the rest showed Zero respect. and he was a really nice and helpful teacher i literally have NO idea why they hated him)

Loner (wonder why that was. 😒)

Into science (how NERDY!)

Likes history (how even NERDIER!)

Actually Liked School when people aren't being shitasses (SUPREME NERD)

(sidenote: the nice teacher i mentioned was my favorite middle school teacher :3 i BEGGED him to give me one of the astronomy chapters for the end of the year assignment and he gave me THE BEST ONE - BLACK HOLES. NEUTRON STARS. GALAXIES. I WAS THRIVING. also he called out mean behavior. which...might be why the rest of the class hated him. mmm...)

*I can focus WHILE listening to music. but ONLY if it's music I chose. If not, I CANNOT DO ANYTHING. i am INCAPABLE of focus without my choice of music if music is playing. I baffled my teachers and parents when I did this.

*Not school related one- Caffeine seems to have little to no effect on me. I'm able to down a can of Coke or Pepsi at 11 PM and have a nice, restful sleep. My family was ALSO baffled by this lol Caffeine CAN wake me up (I've had a can in the morning a few times when we leave early for something or other and suddenly feel Awake) but it also doesn't keep me from falling asleep like I was told all my life (idk if that's an ADHD thing but from what i know caffeine affects the brain and ADHD affects the brain so i always assumed it could be connected to ADHD. don't quote me tho.)

*Needed/Needs brain stimulation to stay on-task. Work goes by SO AGONIZINGLY SLOW without my MP3 player. This is why I'm day-dreaming 24/7. There is ALWAYS something going on in my head. I have a ZILLION wips.

*also music helps my brain sort itself out when it's Full Of Stuff. decompresses and all that.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

fear

I know I haven't posted in a while, but that's because I didn't have a lot of thoughts.

Now, I'm just extremely scared.

(Just for context: I have two final papers due and my mom has a history of doing similar stuff. I'm also autistic.)

This is kind of a vent post with TW for potential abuse, abuse, and implied self-harm/maybe suicidal ideation.

My mom just threatened to give me a full eight-hour work day because I have no time to clean the floors or do any chores. I don't know how to start this. My dad was kind of on my side, but I don't think he'll back me up that much.

And I really don't think that's a good idea, especially for me, a neurodivergent, likely physically disabled, individual who has childhood trauma from very similar things?

"Honor your father and mother." Well, what if they don't honor you? What if they threaten you with abuse and make you cry in your room and think about what to take if you had to live at your friend's house until they calmed down? What if they play good cop/bad cop just to get you to stand down? What if they don't accept poor communication and ways of saying "no?" What if "no" isn't an acceptable answer?

What if you can't see mothers and fathers, in any form, as loving? What if you feel like parental figures can't love you? What if sadness is a knife on your throat?

what if it went worse

I think my family ruined my image of God.

I think I have to accept that I'm the child they got, and not the one they asked for.

And people have said "pray about it," but I have God trying to fill a family and person-shaped hole. It feels wrong. We're supposed to live in community. So why do I feel so isolated?

I think they'd care if I wasn't in the house anymore.

But I want to live. I want a little house with vines growing on the walls and a place for people to come in if they need a place to just be. Maybe it could be close to a body of water. Maybe I build it myself: a little blue house with vines and murals on the wall. The city gets bigger, and eventually comes up to it and surrounds it. But the house stays, and maybe, one day, when I'm gone, it will still be there, close to the coast on its outcropping.

That's kind of my prayer. It's my prayer that things get better and I don't have to suffer with my family. It's my prayer that I can make it through the next three months.

I'll update and give you signs of life. -Cat