atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Where's that tweet about people still living long fulfilling lives even through the fall of the roman empire because I think about it constantly

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

If I can provide context, I think it’s probably a reference to Chiara “Luce” Badano, a relatively modern saint who basically got beatification via bone cancer.

She was literally an Italian teenager who probably would have been into anime if she was still alive. And also probably would have loved Wii Sports.

Also 98% sure our queen would have laughed this off.

so you're telling me that the Catholics have a new mascot that's a cute anime-style blue-eyed teal-haired anime (girl(???) or boy, possibly???) and her name is Luce? As in latin for light, so they're a bearer of light? like... Lucifer? Okay.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

GENESIS

CHAPTER 1

1 In the beginning, god created shit

2 it had literally nothing.

3 then god said 'can somebody turn on the fucking lights

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Apparently there's a Saint Chad. Found during some family history research north of Manchester.

He was a 6th century Mercian bishop and apparently very holy etc, but I can't stop giggling at his name.

He's the patron saint of medical spas. What a chad.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Reblog this if you support LGBTQIA+ rights, unfollow/dni if you can't do it

Edit: I'm sorry for not putting a flash warning before, and not reblogging doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. What I'm saying is to dni/unfollow if you don't support LGBT+ rights

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Listen, I know a lot of people are saying that my friend r4cs0 is transphobic just because he is a radical traditionalist Catholic and he made a post joking about Dr. Sidhbh Gallagher. But the thing is, the doctor herself was the one who said she "yeets the teets," that wasn't something r4cs0 made up on his own. And the part about him keeping them in a jar of formaldehyde on his mantle was a JOKE. He obviously isn't going to do that. He is well known for hunting wolves and he mounts the wolf heads above his mantle. A bucket of removed breasts would ruin the decor. Some people just need to learn to take a joke these days!

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Whenever I see a queer invalidate another queer's relationship with god, I just get disappointed. "We need more complex queers!" You can't even handle religious queer people.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

a short guide to choosing confirmation names as a queer/gender is complicated catholic

Look up cool saints. Baby name lists can help a lot.

Among those cool saints, choose one that can easily be modified into/is the name you would want for yourself (it's actually where my name came from)

Learn about said saint.

Get confirmed.

(I might consider going by my confirmation name irl honestly)

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

history and me

tw: mention of suicide

I know this is kind of a writing dump, but you probably are wondering, "how can you reconcile being queer and Catholic when the doctrine doesn't like you?"

Well, here's how. It involves the Bible, my own self-discovery, a history lesson, and a few quiet conclusions I made.

Most of the Church doctrine surrounding LGBTQIA+ people stems from the Pope St. JPII (John Paul II, for those not exactly in the know) era, and some of it from the Theology of the Body. This was during the 1960s through either 1980s of 1990s (I don't remember and don't have the energy to look this up). This was also an era where the Church politics were very "in this world but not of it" and things were also changing quickly. I don't know if this was what was going on, but the actual doctrines seem kind of reactionary, if that makes sense? The "traditional family" is very Eurocentric, especially when, around the world, so many other types of families are traditional? "But they're not Christian!" I know. I'm just acknowledging that Christianity is not the only religion in the world. And even in predominantly Christian areas, there are... um, how do I put this without offending the trads?... questionably gay traditions? For example, in Poland, where a lot of my family is from, it's completely socially acceptable for two women to dance together (with quite a few traditional dances). "their husbands aren't there" HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LESBIANS, SHARON? Also those outfits are really pretty and I want to make one, but it would sacrifice my hands and potentially a sewing machine forever. But that's another story.

Another thing that came out of this era was the consistent ethic of life. Which, personally, I have a couple of issues with. For one, life is really inconsistent, and while I agree with the sentiment behind the doctrine, it has issues. Which is another post. And yes, this matters. Because queer people have a higher suicide rate than straight people. And having to fit into a standard that doesn't fit you and in some cases, suffer under an identity that isn't yours, is REALLY depressing.

This is the first question I pose: how could you live with yourself if your words were what drove someone to commit suicide? Would that be considered killing them?

And this is my first answer: I couldn't live with myself knowing that anyone killed themselves because of my words, especially not my friends. And I would drive myself to Confession as fast as possible.

I realized that around seventh grade, and I had a slight crisis of faith. My faith recovered, and a seed was planted: was I straight? Keep in mind, my autistic self did not know what social norms were and had no concept of a crush and was terrible at recognizing flirting. Around this time, I realized what sex was and had the greatest "NOPE" reaction in the history of my family. I really should have put two and two together that point, but I didn't know anything about the queer community at the time.

Around the end of my freshman year of high school, I learned about asexuality. I had a lot of stuff to work through, but I remember thinking that it fit. I think I had this progression: straight -> alloace -> aroallo -> the weird denial/amnesia phase where I thought I was straight -> allodemisexual -> aroflux demisexual? -> aroflux? ace -> fork it, I give up trying to figure out what the romantic attraction is, aroace. -> wait, girls are cool? aroace -> sapphic aroace -> aroace lesbian/possibly bi but it's mostly girls tbh -> once again questioning the aromantic part of it -> HOLD UP SOMETHING IS HAPPENING WITH GENDER CIS PEOPLE HAVE STRONGER ATTRACTIONS TO THE WORDS THEY USE TO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES THAT I DON'T HAVE OH [BLEEP] HERE WE GO AGAIN -> something on the multigender spectrum, maybe agender but I Know There's Gender There

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Well, if my neighbor isn't straight, I'm going to accept them. Because I accepted myself. I may have trauma. I may have issues with my self-image. But I will not give up.

TL;DR: Last I checked, God wouldn't want me hating myself forever.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that every single conservative Catholic summer camp will have at least one queer person trying their hardest to pass as straight.

It's me. I'm that person. Hi. I've been wanting to make this post for a while, but it involved making a drawing that I didn't want to make. So here's the text version. happy belated pride month and happy disability pride month!

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Just realized my IRL baptism saint was a theater kid

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

Absolutely (also Rose has a little sister who is heavily implied to be pansexual and has a special interest in 1990s/2000s media) and I will keep posting about it (it will be at least two books and I might actually attempt self/publishing now that I think about it but that’s for later)!

I should have a very rough first plot summary by the end of the summer!

Happy 🏳️‍🌈!

ok, this is a bit more of a lighthearted post, but !!!! i got a book idea (very vague but it might crystallize more)!!!!

so basically, queer catholic sci-fi book (series? idk, I don't have much of a plot, just a lot of setting and story ideas that I need to have form into a cohesive plot) that I hope to get eventually published (once it's written) at a Catholic publishing house so more Catholic kids can try and help themselves fit into a theology that is currently against them. Yeah, there is going to have to be so much subtext. There will also be a LOT of social commentary on how Christianity is often used to justify gaps in wealth between the rich and the poor, clergy and their abuse of power, and how someone's beliefs and identity can conflict and resolve, because, well, 2000+ years of tradition has a lot of stuff in it!

Includes:

ace sarcastic Catholic main character Rose (filler name at the moment) who lives on the edge of society and has to be very resourceful (read: society took a lot from her, including a lot of her faith)

spaceships!

cool tech items

guardian angels make occasional appearances

a virus spreading across civilization stopped by the power of teamwork

"power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

obscure theology

at least one redemption arc

"what are you in for?" "almost rear-ended a nun."

space

cities larger than they have any right to be

a peasant revolt

activism

and more!

I'll probably keep posting about it here, and I'll probably make a tag for it at some point.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

just realized something.

Angels, as pure spirits, technically don't have gender inherently.

Sooooooooo... yay! I can have nonbinary representation in the book, but boo, it can't be human! At least if I want a publishing house to pick it up (but who knows if the book will be written or if that will happen?).

I might have to make a video series about this.

And also a guardian angel character has a Brooklyn accent. Because I think it's cool.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

ok, this is a bit more of a lighthearted post, but !!!! i got a book idea (very vague but it might crystallize more)!!!!

so basically, queer catholic sci-fi book (series? idk, I don't have much of a plot, just a lot of setting and story ideas that I need to have form into a cohesive plot) that I hope to get eventually published (once it's written) at a Catholic publishing house so more Catholic kids can try and help themselves fit into a theology that is currently against them. Yeah, there is going to have to be so much subtext. There will also be a LOT of social commentary on how Christianity is often used to justify gaps in wealth between the rich and the poor, clergy and their abuse of power, and how someone's beliefs and identity can conflict and resolve, because, well, 2000+ years of tradition has a lot of stuff in it!

Includes:

ace sarcastic Catholic main character Rose (filler name at the moment) who lives on the edge of society and has to be very resourceful (read: society took a lot from her, including a lot of her faith)

spaceships!

cool tech items

guardian angels make occasional appearances

a virus spreading across civilization stopped by the power of teamwork

"power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

obscure theology

at least one redemption arc

"what are you in for?" "almost rear-ended a nun."

space

cities larger than they have any right to be

a peasant revolt

activism

and more!

I'll probably keep posting about it here, and I'll probably make a tag for it at some point.

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

(Image ID: screenshot of a Google Docs document title that reads "patron saint of final papers pray for me".)

i think you might appreciate this one (this is actually how I do a LOT of things)

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

fear

I know I haven't posted in a while, but that's because I didn't have a lot of thoughts.

Now, I'm just extremely scared.

(Just for context: I have two final papers due and my mom has a history of doing similar stuff. I'm also autistic.)

This is kind of a vent post with TW for potential abuse, abuse, and implied self-harm/maybe suicidal ideation.

My mom just threatened to give me a full eight-hour work day because I have no time to clean the floors or do any chores. I don't know how to start this. My dad was kind of on my side, but I don't think he'll back me up that much.

And I really don't think that's a good idea, especially for me, a neurodivergent, likely physically disabled, individual who has childhood trauma from very similar things?

"Honor your father and mother." Well, what if they don't honor you? What if they threaten you with abuse and make you cry in your room and think about what to take if you had to live at your friend's house until they calmed down? What if they play good cop/bad cop just to get you to stand down? What if they don't accept poor communication and ways of saying "no?" What if "no" isn't an acceptable answer?

What if you can't see mothers and fathers, in any form, as loving? What if you feel like parental figures can't love you? What if sadness is a knife on your throat?

what if it went worse

I think my family ruined my image of God.

I think I have to accept that I'm the child they got, and not the one they asked for.

And people have said "pray about it," but I have God trying to fill a family and person-shaped hole. It feels wrong. We're supposed to live in community. So why do I feel so isolated?

I think they'd care if I wasn't in the house anymore.

But I want to live. I want a little house with vines growing on the walls and a place for people to come in if they need a place to just be. Maybe it could be close to a body of water. Maybe I build it myself: a little blue house with vines and murals on the wall. The city gets bigger, and eventually comes up to it and surrounds it. But the house stays, and maybe, one day, when I'm gone, it will still be there, close to the coast on its outcropping.

That's kind of my prayer. It's my prayer that things get better and I don't have to suffer with my family. It's my prayer that I can make it through the next three months.

I'll update and give you signs of life. -Cat