#tw mention of trauma

[candieduranium]

[apheliia]

the ONLY reason i have never given diona an older sibling!reader is because i think all the posts would come out traumadumpy. Erm. yeah. do with that information what you will 😇🙏

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

What's wrong with you

You mean except trauma, neurodivergency and the actual state in which my hands are?

[wisteriasymphony]

comfort snapshot for @asukiess ignore whatever the other one's name is queen she's not important just crtl+f mari onto it no biggie

---

The lock looked simple, and like it had been forced upon before in the past. Claudia fought with the doorhandle for a moment, but it wouldn't open.

Jesus, calm down. You know he gets a bit of a fuse sometimes, hearing you try to break a door down isn't gonna fucking help you much.

She sighed, speaking softly.

"Adrien, I'm going to try and open the door," Claudia whispered, "And then I am going to step inside. I am not going to hurt you. I won't even come close if you don't want me to. Okay?"

Three minutes of dead silence. And so, she slipped her fingernail into the lock's middle slot, the lightest force enough to spring it open. She tread carefully into the bathroom, finding Adrien in the corner. He had ransacked every cabinet in the room and stolen all the towels and washcloths and even the bathroom rug; And in that corner, he had curled up in a ball and covered himself with them, until his silhouette was more of a shifting mass of fabric than a boy.

He didn’t bother to look at Claudia, only muttering “I’m disgusting” under his breath like it was a curse.

“Hey, people say things they don’t mean all the time.” Claudia slowly knelt down onto the floor, watching Adrien with a concerned gaze.

“I promise I didn’t mean it. I don’t– I wouldn’t want—“

“Shh. It’s fine, okay? I’m not mad over it or anything,” she said, crawling over to him. “…I’m going to put my hand on your head. Is that alright?”

He nodded, and so Claudia started to stroke his hair again. Adrien still couldn’t bear to look at her… but the feeling was nice. Even if it only led to more tears. It was insane to think that she’d still really love him after that. Was he even worth it? She had to have known that he wasn’t.

"Why do you stay?" Adrien finally asked. "You seem to make it so clear that I don't mean anything to you. Like one of these days you're going to discard me at the drop of a hat." He stared her down with dull, watery eyes, for the first time in a long while. "Why do you even stick around?"

It was clear that there was a very specific answer he was looking for. One that validated all of his worst fears, one that reminded him that even the person he loved most in the world would only ever see him as one thing. But Claudia was tired of lying. Even when it meant she said things people weren't expecting to hear.

"Because I don't know what I'd do without you." Claudia slipped her jacket off her shoulders, placing it in Adrien's lap as another thing to cover himself with. "Because I like hearing you talk, and I like your laugh, and I like that none of your fancy photos ever show the dimple on your left cheek but I get to see it everyday." Claudia laughed to herself, admitting "..It's very faint, but it's there."

Adrien shifted closer to Claudia, leaning on her a little more. He was still crying, sure, but the tears were slowing down. She was doing something right for once.

"What else... I like listening to you play piano. I think you're the best in the whole world."

"Th... that's not true..."

"Psch! To me, it is. Beethoven can suck my left nut for all I care, he's probably terrible compared to you."

This time she got a laugh back. Another shift closer. Adrien had finally reached a hand out to cling onto her.

"..So you do love me?"

"Mhm." Claudia planted a kiss on his forehead. "I love you, I love you, I love you, and I mean it even more every time I say it. I don't care what you look like, what you say to me, even who you are. 'Cause I don't love Chat Errant, or Chat Noir, or even Adrien Agresté." She placed her pointer finger on his chest, leaning in to let their foreheads touch. "I just love you."

He broke out into sobs again, his face contorting into something scrunched and unsightly. "Y-you won't let me be cold anymore, right? I was s-so cold— I-" Adrien let his head fall to her shoulder, heaving and blubbering into it. "And the lights and they'd— The way she touched me in- I-in— It lasted for so long and- There's pictures of all of it and— A-all I can remember is that I was so cold-"

He stopped when he felt her hand hover over the towels draped on his shoulder—stopped talking, stopped breathing, probably stopped blinking too. Claudia could feel he had the most terrible fever, was probably only going to kill himself with all these layers... but she moved her hand to his head, ruffling his hair.

"No, I won't let you be cold," she said, taking off her shirt, then her bra: giving him the former but setting the latter on the floor. "Here. I'll warm you up."

When Adrien went to hug her, a few of the towels fell off his shoulders. Claudia swore she'd never been hugged this hard in her life—maybe that even most people would never been hugged this hard. He seemed to wrap his body around her, clinging on by every means he could, shaking and heaving and yet still holding on however he could. But Claudia was stable, and her skin felt like dew-kissed stones in a riverbank. Not cold, but just.. a little less warm. The good kind.

"D-do you ever feel like you want your mom," he asked, the words breaking against his tears, "...But you— But you know that she'd only make it worse?"

Claudia knew that if Adrien's mother had still been alive, this would have been the moment Claudia planned to kill her.

"...Every day, Eddí," she said, shifting to kiss the top of his head. "Every day."

[sedgesnuggles]

My teenage brother just said the n-word (we’re white) and I’m struggling to not run down those stairs and beat the shit out of him. Yes he has that Gen Alpha brainrot shit going on, the whole ‘sIgMa MaLe’ thing too, and over the past few months he’s just become increasingly racist, sexist, homophobic and narcissistic.

Need some emotional support rn, especially since my parents aren’t really doing anything about it anymore.

My mum was telling him off for racist language about a week ago, and he went ahead and broke her locket chain, a chain that, mind you, was gifted to her for her 21st birthday by a VERY recently deceased relative whom she was very close with.

He’s also had multiple girlfriends in the last 6 months, either dumping them because they didn’t agree with him or they dumped him after he showed his true colours.

My brother seems to take pride in triggering my PTSD by making overly sexual jokes, remarks and even going so far as to say he’s ‘practicing’ making out on the DOG, also saying that he ‘loves her being in his bed’. He’s so fucking disgusting.

[thesecretingredientislove]

I am moving, and while putting things into boxes I found a box filled with notebooks. There I found many drawing and things I wrote or tried to write and that... were very disturbing. It made me realize how traumatized I was (I think I still am, but I have been working on that and have changed a lot), I was hurt and scared of lots of things. Seeing this notebooks was kind of triggering and I started to panic as I remembered those awful things.

And then I found this cute Wander I drew in one of those notebooks and it just... took me out of it.

Wander Over Yonder was a cartoon that was with me in some of my lowest moments and, this might sound childish, but I think it helped me through it and it helped me stay alive. And it still does. I am in a better place now, I have discovered so many new things. I am studying space and it's difficult but also amazing. Being AuDHD and with all this traumatic experiences, I can't say I am sure I am happy. I think I am getting better. Comparing my sad moments and stress now to... those past moments, I think I am moving forward. I am not sure where I wanted to get while writing this but... yeah, I am glad I found this drawing I made in my darkest moments in order to cheer me up. It still does.

"Just because I'm sad doesn't mean I've given up hope" is a quote that kept me alive. I'm glad it did.

[calf-cover]

Some More Details

I would like to put in a few words about my Alagadda fan fiction, to which I made illustrations not so long ago. Its first chapters are more than two-thirds ready, and I think it's time to present some details about it to the world.

And here I will note several important points that relate to its plot, content and some of the topics raised in it. Also I welcome any questions regarding my story, characters and Alagadda itself. And remember - you can never overdo it with questions to the author about their precious adorable brainchild, oh no, no, no - oh yes…

The events of my story will cover the time before the transformation, and will focus on the characters and the strange unique world around them, as well as the horrors, inhumanity and woe that permeate their entire natural.

There are three main characters - the King of Alagadda, his devoted Jester and the Ambassador, who took human form for reasons familiar to us - but so unknown at the same time. And the story will eventually allow them all to tell itself piece by piece and put it together like an eerie and sinester mosaic.

It is also necessary to a warning. This story will contain not just "a lot" of dark topics, but an exorbitant number of them. Just every single trigger warning possible. No one is safe - neither children nor animals. Almost all the characters have a terrible trauma, which they overcome in extremely unhealthy ways. Thus, Jester suffers a lot because of severe PTSD, (as well as of a very unpleasant situation related to his actually intesex state, which implies another bunch of terrible TWs), King can awaken the most painful memories about illnesses and emotionally unstable relatives, and the Ambassador just says and does strange creepy things with very uncanny sublayer. And well, it seems that they are hiding even more than one would expect…

So this story will be an absolutely NSFW. And I don't want to scare anyone, but some of the situations, characters and their biographies were based on real historical figures. By the way, that's why everything turned out so gloomy. I'm not such a perverted maniac to come up with such horrors from scratch!

Perhaps this is all that I wanted to say so far within the scope of a short post. Just to warn the audience about possible disturbing content, and perhaps, with a little bit of luck - to fueled interest. Do not hesitate to ask anything if you are suddenly interested in this or that detail. After all, the story has yet to be told, and it's not even the beginning.

[nevaehdavis5675]

Nobody : Thatchers Happiness

Tw in tags)

Snow man ( Thatchers happiness)

Truck : ( Trauma or Losing Ruth)

[therosewallkey]

"Shipabilis" coining Shipabilis = accepting shipping sobeit done respectfully cw LONG😅:

I don’t know if this is actually needed, it’s just that I’ve seen so many different takes on what these ‘subgroups’ and spaces stand for in shipping, and so wanted to make a clear distinct group for myself to identify within. 

My group/term is called shipabilis, which translates to “accepting shipping”

You may realize this sounds a whole lot like ‘proship’, and while it does hold many of the same ideas/values from a proship perspective, it differs in several aspects. And yeah I guess this sorta makes me an anti, while others may still see this as proship. And this is basically my own idea of what I wish proship was. (Taking notes from several posts.(May update these definitions in the future)) Shipabilis: adjective. 

“Shipabilis” is basically the idea “let people ship whatever fictional ship they want sobeit they portray it respectfully.” 

Ideals:

People who are shipabilis are anti-harrassment. 

People who are shipabilis are anti-censorship.

People who are shipabilis believe it is good and needed to have taboo media that can help people and people can draw from.

Someone who tolerates and does not discriminate against/harass people about any fictional ship(*done correctly/respectfully). This does not inherently mean the person does ship taboo things, just means they tolerate and don’t harass.

*When said “done correctly” this is where it differentiates itself from proship. Yes the words ‘done correctly’ does imply a moral stance. People who are shipabilis believe it is good to have taboo fictional media as long as it displays real life moral teachings. Examples:

Someone who is shipabilis will tolerate fictional media of grooming and paedophilia so long as the media makes clear to the audience that it is bad and wrong. 

Someone who is shipabilis will not support fictional  minorXadult where there is no comment about how this is morally wrong, and where this media could be used to normalize paedophilia. The shipabilis will not support it, but will also NOT harass a person over it. 

Someone who is shipabilis will tolerate fictional media displaying incest as long as the media makes clear it is wrong and does not promote it.

Someone who is shipabilis will not support fictional incest where the media does not make clear to the audience that incest is wrong. If the media seems to promote or normalize incest, the shipabilis’ will not support while also NOT harassing.

Someone who is shipabilis will tolerate fictional media that displays abuse as long as the media makes clear that abuse is wrong.

Someone who is shipabilis will not tolerate fictional media that makes it seem like abuse is not wrong. Media that victim blames or normalizes abuse. Shipabilis will not harrass people over this media either though. They will turn away and ignore.

Further Explanation/Discussion/Background: I am wanting to make this/coin this because with the research I have done I cannot find myself defining myself on either side of “pro” or “anti” ship. I have heard proship experiences, and I have heard anti experiences. The definition of both these subgroups has become so lost that the definition is drastically different depending on who you speak with.  I was also wanting to make this because while speaking to both some anti’s and some proshippers they expressed and made clear some things to me. - The proshipers told me that “all proshipper have preferences. And while I may dislike noncon and other taboos, I am still proship because I believe in ‘ship and let ship’. Anyone who  believes certain things should be censored or removed would be an anti.” - I was unable to get many/a generalized view from the ‘Antis’ because they generally just seem to be anyone against their idea of proship(which is usually taboo ships)and many antis I tried to speak with, even past proshippers, told me they had a “horrible experience with the proship community.” I didn’t ask the details but one person was able to tell me that basically “The ideas and concepts of Proshipping are to vague and widespread to simply be under one term” and that “While yes proship is about fiction, we need to acknowledge that for many people fiction impacts reality and how we view reality. So writing a minorxadult, or incest ship and not making it clear this is wrong in the real world, leads to it becoming normalized and unsensitized.”

And so again, with trying and somewhat understanding views from both sides I found I did not entirely belong with either. Because as some have said. “Proship or anti can mean so many different things now to different people.” To one person “anti” means terf, while “proship” means the same thing to another. So because I realized the flaws in certain areas of the proship community, my feelings of how fiction impacts reality, and as well as how I wouldn’t be accepted by many proclaimed antis, I realized I just needed to make my own “term” for myself, and if anyone hold my ideals they are welcome to join. 

It is complicated because I do not want anything to be censored necessarily, because then how do we decide what needs to be censored and what doesn’t? And I also do not believe in harassing a person over their views, especially when/if it hurts no one, and another especially if it’s about fiction. So my view is really just “see something you don’t like/agree with/you think should be deleted, just ignore it, don’t bring attention to it, and let it get buried in the dust of history.”

So now that we’re done with the quite long discussion/explanation/background, I will reiterate what shipabilis is. “Shipabilis’ is basically the idea “let people ship whatever fictional ship they want sobeit they portray it respectfully.”  I would say “correctly” but then that is again leaving it up to the argument of all our own differing morals and what “correct” is. So while yes my stand is portraying it ‘correctly’, you really just need to be respectful to people with things that can be and are real life experiences.  All the “anti- harassment” should just be a side detail of this. Because we should ALL be anti harassment. They should be labels you collect. You can be “anti censorship” and also consider yourself an “anti-shipper” it’s all how you view it. 

So while I as the coiner of “shipabilis” say that one of our ideals is “no harassment” I acknowledge that that is not it's only and sole distinguisher.  And say this does pick up, and one day there are others calling themself fellow “shipabilis” they cannot simply say “we stand for no harassment” and act like they are morally better just for that fact. Because there will be people who are anti-shipabilis, who are also anti-harassment. And it is because the world makes it seem so black and white, one side or the other, that led to all my confusion, and the traumatic experiences of so many from both these communities. 

From what I’ve seen many proshippers are not into the taboo ships, but label themselves ‘proship’ because it is supposedly the side of anti-harassment and anti-censorship. And that may have been what it was meant to be when it originated, but with time the meaning behind it and the community has changed. So again “shipabilis” = “when it comes to fiction, ship what you like as long as you present and indulge in it respectfully in regards to how it relates and mirrors real life and people’s irl experiences.”

And I apologize if a term for all this already exists and I have just failed to find it.

And I know some people who have been through trauma, or even not, feel “there shouldn’t stories about rape and abuse or etc. these things are not for people’s enjoyment.” And I agree partly. I understand taboo and how it can feel wrong and disrespectful. But I am also able to see and separate people’s enjoyment of media and their moral standpoint. We all have different reasons for why we ‘enjoy’ something. For some of us, we like reading drama and feeling on edge. Others like to read stories that remind them of their trauma and help them not feel alone. Some people read these things for the purpose of feeling sad. Some simply like to explore these complex dynamics and learn/educate about them. etc. I don’t know the reason, but I know that making this media is more important than trying to hide and destroy it. If you don’t make a story where it displays how something is wrong, then how are people meant to really and fully understand why. This book or fic about an abusive relationship between husband and wife, parent and child, or even just teen partners could make a difference in helping someone. So what if it’s nsfw sometimes. Sometimes we need these media, and the details, to help that one person in need to understand what's wrong and help them have words for it.  And it is for same reason above that I believe we should move away from media that can normalize these things. That same little girl or boy that read the story explaining about why their parent shouldn’t rape them, could be reading a similar thing that doesn’t make clear that this action is bad and wrong. Bury the disrespectful media and make clear and room for the media that portrays it respectfully and even if not made with educational ideas, could be the first sign or resource someone finds.

People writing books or fics of their trauma do not deserve to be harassed. And also this type of media creation or enjoyment is not solely restricted to those who have been hurt. We may have no clear answer yet to why we are drawn to this media, but it does not define our moral stance.

Fiction and nonfiction are separate, but also connected in which we must make clear what is right and wrong and we must portray it respectfully. I’m sorry that this is all so long, I just want there to be no misunderstanding of my ideals. DO NOT romanticize, normalize, simplicize, glorify, etc. abuse. No matter what type of abuse, sexual, csa, physical, psychological, mental, domestic, etc. It is all wrong and bad, and deserves and is needed to be portrayed with diligence and respect.

And another last note, if you are in a community, do not harass or milk a person for content. Especially about traumatic instances, especially x2 for children/minors. People do not owe you anything. Do not exploit them for content. 

and with that, the end of the very long coining of shipabilis.

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

I don't know who needs to hear this, it's probably not necessary, but i want to say it anyway: if your partner(s) has toxic and/or abusive behaviours when you're having sex, you should not have sex with them. It might seem obvious, but the truth is it is not obvious for everyone. It wasn't obvious for me.

Especially if you told them and they still refused to stop doing that specific thing, trust me, just don't. You might convince yoursef to have sex with them more often, believing and hoping it will be different this time. But the truth is, the experience in itself will be awful, and after that you will feel even worst, and that may even turn into some sort of trauma.

All of this to say that feeling like you need to "keep up", may be even more hurtful than your partner(s) actually trying to coerce you or manipulate you into having sex. It doesn't matter how much you love them and want to please them: it's never worth it, disrespecting your own boundaries and will trying to make someone else happy.

You do not owe your partner(s) sex. I mostly see this passed around in the asexual community, and it absolutely needs emphasis there, but this applies to anyone of any orientation. You never owe your partner(s) sex under any circumstance.

If your sex drive or libido is lower than your partner’s, you may feel obligated to “keep up” with them to make them happy. But you have a right to say no, or not be in the mood, or be too tired, or just not want to right now. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no and your bodily autonomy.

If your partner(s) try to harass, manipulate, or coerce you into having sex when you say no, they’re an asshole. Having said yes in the past does not mean you can never say no. It is not your responsibility or obligation to provide sex. You do not need to violate your own boundaries to make someone else happy. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.

Your body belongs to you, and you decide what’s best for your sexual health. Happy Pride

[thcrealheroes]

"Did they lock you in here?" / starlight to soldier boy

PROTECTIVE PROMPTS || @vghtsupes

HEART RATTLING AGAINST HIS RIBCAGE, OXYGEN LACKING WHILE HE STEPS slowly towards the sealed pod, he feels his stance wobbly, everything is spinning, and his chest is hurting- the AGONY- he hears an echo within the distance, turning from one side to the other in a panic, looking over his shoulder while trying to see anyone standing close behind him, the pounding in his head becomes to GREAT for Soldier Boy. He's trying to contain the HORROR that suddenly fills his entire being. Russia, the scent, the voices, the torture and the laughter, and the music as they performed experiments on him, the ooo's & aww's when his flesh was left unscratched, but that didn't mean he didn't feel the pain, didn't feel the burning sensation of the acid being poured down his throat. Ben winces as he steps back, only to crash into whatever equipment, knocking over some animal experiments.

" Motherfuck- " Soldier Boy is in a panic, and he can feel the others watching him,TOO MANY EYES on him, too much pity, and too much concern. If his son or Maeve had tried to speak to him, he wouldn't have heard them, rushing outside and gasping for air, his lungs working twice as hard as he tried to catch up with breathing. He hears her before she speaks, and when she does, he almost wishes they hadn't all come. The cool air brushes against them; looking ashamed as he bows his head low, chin to his chest. " .... Locked me. Tortured me.... you name it... they did it. Doesn't matter. I- I don't... I don't want to talk about it.. "    

[apheliia]

I just wanted to say i really like how you’re planning to give the older sibling Reader actual trauma and issues from Draff and basically having to go through what Diona does except to a higher degree, even if they manage it differently and seem to be more um, well-adjusted? At least on a first glance.

Do you know how old Reader is supposed to be exactly? And are you open to suggestions for which character’s feature in the series/ interact with them?

to be truthful with you, this series will pull a lot from my own experiences. i know drunk people do not make good parents because i literally went through it. so reader's trauma will probably feel Very real, because for me, it is very real. having an alcoholic as a parent fucking sucks. i don't anymore, but i did once, and it was not fun! what else is there to do other than turn my trauma into a fanfic series fr /LH I PROMISE

i would say 16-18, i haven't really fully decided yet!! i will leave it unspecified for a while to see if people have any feedback or preferences they'd like to voice. and yes of course!!!!!! i am so open to suggestions and ideas; the suggestions and ideas are what will keep the series going. idk if you were around for this or if you've seen it, but i have an adoptive dad kaveh au series (that i really need to continue working on tbh LMAO), and it has gone on for so long solely because people have sent me their ideas. so yes, by all means, i am open to suggestions!!!

[aggold15hi01]

⚠️ Disclaimer: The original post isn't mine.

📝 Credits to Wintergreenoreo via Tumblr and Tumblr for the original post.

ℹ️ For personal notes [Personal notes are entirely reflected on my own views alone so mahalo nui loa and thank you very much] ; it is below the line ⬇️

Also . . .

⚠️ Trigger warning for the mention of abuse and bullying from the author's real life personal experience.

(Don't read the one particular paragraph I had mentioned something about abuse in real life if you are reading this individual post via my Tumblr blog otherwise please DO NOT INTERACT with this particular note if you can't stand bullying; abuse or both in general.)

At first I was hesitant (In case if you are wondering: I am usually very indecisive about so many things to be honest in general) about which one do I choose to sit but I'd think I might choose table 2 because I do think Alex might be a conversation starter on a topic (His pets are definitely as both a spark of conversation and a topic starter for sure; no lies and no joke in general) along with Liam plus Zhou is one of the drivers I did started to warm myself up to him and yet I would definitely also start talking about Hawaii once I am truthfully equally and yet feeling deeply comfortable enough about joining in the conversation.

Plus also, I do feel truthfully sad and compassionate for Logan though as he had to sit in table 9 so . . . I would definitely love to have a deep and long conversation with him additionally; maybe we both can have a conversation where at some point; I would definitely start talking about surfing with these three guys from table 2 and Logan from table 9 in particular thus . . . I do think surfing is an activity that probably can tie the bond together.

As for Ocon who is sitting in table 8; I'd think I would love to sit with him and talk with him as well ever since he and I--we both are born in the same year but the difference is we both are born in a different birthday month (He is a September baby; I am an October baby); I'd think maybe I might add table 8 and 9 but table 8 only because of Ocon and table 9 also only because of Logan.

Also, no 'true' offense to everybody in general if you are reading this particular post on my personal Tumblr blog.

On a personal note; when you first met me in person: I am not very much of a talker as usually I am very much of a loner and I am very shy in person yet I don't usually would say anything at first as it might take me a long while for me to warm up to anyone or anybody in general but once you get to know me better; just make sure you treat me in the way you wanted to be treated as I am neither the type of person who would be feeling okay in a confrontation or a fight nor I am a type of person whom you wanted to fight against me as I usually hated fights; confrontations and dramas as a person who had to truly experienced abuse from her very own estranged family/ ohana in real life so you do have to truthfully treat me very carefully in real life and also be more understanding with me plus be truthfully and equally patient and calm with me as unfortunately I am a person who had experienced abuse before in real life and no, I don't truthfully tolerate abuse so either treat me well or be gone unfortunately. Plus yet sometimes the timing of the process and growth might take a long while for me to truthfully warm up to it.

Oh and I couldn't stand bullying as well thus I had gotten bullied in real life during my school days by the other students unfortunately (To this day: I hated how I have been picked on by the other students for nothing.) so I would say table 2 mostly because I don't truthfully mind about the vibes as long as they can keep it as peaceful and harmonious as they can just have the same energy as the art community and the Lofi community I discovered it on YT.

Okay, so this is a very long post at this point but . . . let's just say this is an unexpected post that I would probably do it on my personal Tumblr Blog here. 😶

Randomly Generated F1 Seating Arrangement 🎡

I spun a wheel and randomly chose who sits at each table and honestly the wheel came up with some pretty interesting trios 🍿.

Sooo…

[atimetoteardownandatimetobuildup]

history and me

tw: mention of suicide

I know this is kind of a writing dump, but you probably are wondering, "how can you reconcile being queer and Catholic when the doctrine doesn't like you?"

Well, here's how. It involves the Bible, my own self-discovery, a history lesson, and a few quiet conclusions I made.

Most of the Church doctrine surrounding LGBTQIA+ people stems from the Pope St. JPII (John Paul II, for those not exactly in the know) era, and some of it from the Theology of the Body. This was during the 1960s through either 1980s of 1990s (I don't remember and don't have the energy to look this up). This was also an era where the Church politics were very "in this world but not of it" and things were also changing quickly. I don't know if this was what was going on, but the actual doctrines seem kind of reactionary, if that makes sense? The "traditional family" is very Eurocentric, especially when, around the world, so many other types of families are traditional? "But they're not Christian!" I know. I'm just acknowledging that Christianity is not the only religion in the world. And even in predominantly Christian areas, there are... um, how do I put this without offending the trads?... questionably gay traditions? For example, in Poland, where a lot of my family is from, it's completely socially acceptable for two women to dance together (with quite a few traditional dances). "their husbands aren't there" HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LESBIANS, SHARON? Also those outfits are really pretty and I want to make one, but it would sacrifice my hands and potentially a sewing machine forever. But that's another story.

Another thing that came out of this era was the consistent ethic of life. Which, personally, I have a couple of issues with. For one, life is really inconsistent, and while I agree with the sentiment behind the doctrine, it has issues. Which is another post. And yes, this matters. Because queer people have a higher suicide rate than straight people. And having to fit into a standard that doesn't fit you and in some cases, suffer under an identity that isn't yours, is REALLY depressing.

This is the first question I pose: how could you live with yourself if your words were what drove someone to commit suicide? Would that be considered killing them?

And this is my first answer: I couldn't live with myself knowing that anyone killed themselves because of my words, especially not my friends. And I would drive myself to Confession as fast as possible.

I realized that around seventh grade, and I had a slight crisis of faith. My faith recovered, and a seed was planted: was I straight? Keep in mind, my autistic self did not know what social norms were and had no concept of a crush and was terrible at recognizing flirting. Around this time, I realized what sex was and had the greatest "NOPE" reaction in the history of my family. I really should have put two and two together that point, but I didn't know anything about the queer community at the time.

Around the end of my freshman year of high school, I learned about asexuality. I had a lot of stuff to work through, but I remember thinking that it fit. I think I had this progression: straight -> alloace -> aroallo -> the weird denial/amnesia phase where I thought I was straight -> allodemisexual -> aroflux demisexual? -> aroflux? ace -> fork it, I give up trying to figure out what the romantic attraction is, aroace. -> wait, girls are cool? aroace -> sapphic aroace -> aroace lesbian/possibly bi but it's mostly girls tbh -> once again questioning the aromantic part of it -> HOLD UP SOMETHING IS HAPPENING WITH GENDER CIS PEOPLE HAVE STRONGER ATTRACTIONS TO THE WORDS THEY USE TO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES THAT I DON'T HAVE OH [BLEEP] HERE WE GO AGAIN -> something on the multigender spectrum, maybe agender but I Know There's Gender There

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Well, if my neighbor isn't straight, I'm going to accept them. Because I accepted myself. I may have trauma. I may have issues with my self-image. But I will not give up.

TL;DR: Last I checked, God wouldn't want me hating myself forever.

[emotionaleating]

[kpopwerewolf]

TW Venting About Pinterest

Pinterest stop deleting my pins challenge

Seriously. At least once a month I get an email about how one of the pins I’ve saved “violates policy”. Then go to the person who uploaded it genius. If it’s on the site I’m gonna assume it passed the Policy Check and is thus okay to save.

And I get it when it’s something like art that was uploaded without permission. That’s understandable. What I’m so frustrated about is that they email never tells me WHAT pin they removed (so I don’t know what content is unacceptable), and the reasoning is always vague, usually “violates our policy on self-injury and harmful behavior”.

Newsflash: I DONT SAVE THAT STUFF. I agave no idea what is being flagged as s/h and I have so many pins it makes it near impossible to figure out the one that’s missing.

Even more infuriating: WITHOUT FAIL, the pin will be readded to my board within only a few days on it being removed. If you’re going to remove something, then just KEEP it removed. Stop playing games with me, man. I don’t save anything s/h — have never even come across anything — and I am not the one who even uploaded the pin in the first place. If something truly violates policy, then harass THEM! Not the people who saved something they came across it and thought it was approved cause it was on the site!

It’s not like including a screenshot or link or whatever of the removed pin is that difficult, either. Just include it in the email and explain WHY it violates policy. That’s all I’m asking for, people. That, and actually leaving the innocent bystanders alone and going directly to the one who uploaded it into the site. Like, still tell them their pin was deleted, but don’t threaten to “take further action against [their] account” when they aren’t the one who put in it on the site.

Also, I’m a writer. I SAVE DARK STUFF. Stuff about fights. About trauma. About blood spatters and such. WHY HAS NONE OF THAT EVER BEEN FLAGGED BUT THE PINS IN MY MYTHICAL CREATURES BOARD KEEP GETTING ATTACKED. I literally cannot make sense of what’s allowed and what’s not.

PINTEREST MAKE UP YOUR MIND