#AND EVEN THEN HE CAN KEEP UP WITH SPOCK!!!!!!

[juliesscooby]

jim is always the smartest guy in the room unless spock is there. this is unfortunate bc they are in the same room more often than not

[saintspock]

"spock is allowed to fall in love with women" have you considered he's not. have you considered that. there's someone you forgot to ask - me.

[blanc-ci]

I KNOW his ass is hitting the

“ is it hot in here or is that just you? “

Where are his two beautiful boys to help make sure he gets home safe?

I wrote a silly drabble for this and your warnings are: not explicit, McCoy is drunk and horny, and this is pre-established mcspirk so there’s quite a bit of un-spoken understanding about the consent around that.

—

In the after-party of a frankly excessive diplomatic wedding, Jim had one of McCoy’s arms slung over his shoulder and was attempting to drag him out of the reception hall. With Spock two steps ahead, leading the way. Bones was humming drunkenly, or mumbling something, it was kind of hard to tell over all the noise, but the vibrations against his side were distinct and endearing.

"I think we should let him drink champagne more often, never seen him cut so loose,” he half-shouted at Spock’s back and, as if to prove his point, Bones started giggling from his spot pressed into Jim’s side.

"Would cut loose be referring to when he began stripping or when he nearly climbed on stage to join the dancers?” Spock called back over his shoulder, not looking for an answer and not slowing his pace as he neatly parted the sea of bodies.

Jim pursed his lips, honestly considering it, in the right context he doesn't really think he'd mind either of those things. Though stripping is a little exaggerated, it was just the outer layers really. But, fine, he’ll concede, to the cultured eye McCoy’s rolled sleeves were not unlike lingerie. He’d rag on Spock for that if he wasn’t already having trouble keeping pace with him.

Thankfully, the air was getting cooler, and the crowd thinner. Soon Spock was ushering them out of the venue and into the brisk other-worldly night. Jim glanced around. Definitely not the main entrance, i.e. they'd have to walk the perimeter for Spock-knows how long to get back to the hovercar- but he did appreciate the lack of people.

He took the chance to readjust McCoy’s body against his and, equally, their good doctor took the chance to lean into the crook of his neck. Mumbling something giddily against Jim’s collar. He shivered and gave a sidelong smirk down at the man,

“Hm? What was that?”

“Should’ve let me dance,” Bones lolled his head up to look at him, and then across towards Spock, sloppy grin and dropped lashes making him look particularly debauched,

“I could’ve given you one helluva show~”

Spock turned and stepped in close, tidying the disarrayed mess of hair clinging to McCoy’s forehead,

“if you wish to dance for us, you can do it someplace with much less of an audience.”

McCoy gasped, glittering,

“a private show? Spock, you sly dog.”

“That is not-“

“Oh it definitely was, let’s get to the car, then I can-“

They bickered in flirtatious circles, though Jim could see McCoy was definitely more checked into his own fantasy than their actual conversation. He feels warm and pleasantly exasperated,

“Bones, you had like four glasses, I’m a bit more worried about that impending hangover you have to look forward to.”

Than any other impending issues.

“Hmm- It might’ve been more,” McCoy tilted his head back looking up at the night, after a distracted pause he turned back to them, scowling- more like pouting,

“Can’t I take advantage of our time before the massive impending hangover?”

Before he could even reply, Jim watched the man consider his own words, and start giggling all over again,

“Or.. can’t you take advantage of my time?”

McCoy’s fingers moved to try and re-start their much earlier work of undoing his top buttons. Pretty unsuccessfully. Jim continued to watch, entertained, as Spock huffed and lightly smacked Bones’ hand aside, fastening the buttons all the way back up. More chaste than ever but still undeterred, McCoy leaned in suddenly, jostling Jim out of his adoring, doe-y eyed revelry.

Bones began whispering heatedly into Spock’s ear, and though Jim couldn't hear every detail, the not-really minute reactions Spock gave were enough of a clue. He cleared his throat,

“Back to the hotel then?”

When they parted Spock raised a brow and said nothing, turning to walk- presumably- in the direction of the car park. Jim followed, making interested half-noises to Bones’ continued horny rambling.

It was dark, but if he squinted could just make out the lovely deep green flush gracing their vulcan’s ears.

[trek-tracks]

Imagine this. You're Spock. You've tried not to get yourself emotionally involved with your crewmates. It's not going very well. Your doctor goes and contracts a terminal illness and doesn't tell you (but luckily your captain can't go three seconds without breaking Space HIPAA or whatever exists in the future) and then tries to run away and die on an asteroid. You take out the Instrument of Obedience, privately thinking that it would be nice to have some control over this maniac you somehow care about's actions. You spend Surak knows how much time downloading and translating an entire civilization's medical library to cure him. No problem. It was just an incurable disease. You didn't need to sleep this month.

Two episodes later, another alien civilization tries to check said doctor out like he's a library book and then writes "withdrawn" on his forehead and pretends they don't have to give him back. He tells you to leave to save yourself; he'll stay. Did you mention you decoded an entire medical archive like two weeks ago for---fine. You go through unspeakable emotional violations to put him back into circulation on the Enterprise. It's cool. You didn't need your dignity anyway.

Two episodes after that, your illogical, self-sacrificial doctor mutinies and sedates you--the ranking officer in charge--undoing the fact that, again, how many hours did you spend? Curing an incurable illness because you couldn't let him die? Singing like an idiot in front of a bunch of snickering Platonians with laurel leaves on your head and no pants to speak of?--so he can get himself tortured to death on your behalf. You convince an empath to save him. He pushes her away because he "can't destroy life." Your captain is crying. The shiny force field shows everyone that you're having very non-shiny emotions. Do Vulcans even believe in hell

You think you've finally reached some sort of sacrificial detente. It's been a while. Neither of you have died on the other's behalf. You've both had to save your captain a few times, but that's normal. All in a day's work. Then said captain wants all three of you to check out a mysteriously abandoned library of time periods. You should have figured you would wind up in some sort of frozen wasteland with your doctor and no perceivable way to return what you'd borrowed. Well. At least there's the two of you so that you can keep an eye on--

He falls down in the snow. His hands are blue. "Go on without me," he says, dramatically. "Alone, you have a chance."

yeah I'd strangle that fucker against a cave wall too

[anghraine]

So one of the revelations from watching the entirety of TOS is that Kirk and Spock's relationship is not only every bit as homoerotic as rumored and then some—though it is—but that they are also incredibly fucking unhinged about it. So for this week's poll, I wanted to honor this discovery!

(The character limitations don't allow for much detail, and in context these are even more incredible, so I'll add the links/clips/summations beneath the cut!)

1— "The Empath" (Season 3)

Context: the girl of the week, Gem, is a member of a species of mute empaths able to absorb others' injuries through sympathy and generally drawn to positive emotion. Meanwhile, Kirk is tortured by other parties in the episode to test her willingness to take on others' suffering, and he falls into an exhausted unconscious heap on a bench.

Gem starts to head away towards McCoy, but is suddenly arrested by something she senses and turns to look at Spock, who is moving over to sit next to Kirk and watch him sleep. When Spock realizes he's being observed, he turns away and pretends to study data in his tricorder. Gem isn't fooled, however, and walks back over to him, touching Spock's shoulder and staring at him with wonder in her face over this simple feeling whatever his emotion is while delicate music plays in the background. See for yourself:

2— "Shore Leave" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk is fatigued and strained and in physical pain after ... uh, everything (this episode was aired immediately after "The Conscience of the King" and "Balance of Terror," so it's not hard to buy). He tries to stretch out his back and Spock, standing behind Kirk with his hands on the back of the captain's chair, pulls his hands back and asks him if something is wrong. Kirk explains it's just the kink in his back. A pretty female yeoman starts massaging his back (uh) and Kirk welcomes it under the mistaken belief that it's Spock doing it:

"That's it. A little higher, please. Push. Push hard. Dig it in there, Mr.—"

Spock lifts a brow and pointedly steps forward so Kirk can see it's not him, and Kirk immediately orders the yeoman to stop with a meaningful look at Spock.

(Bonus episode points: Spock's smug satisfaction at tricking Kirk into taking shore leave where McCoy failed, and them grasping at each other when they're in danger.)

3— "A Taste of Armageddon" (Season 1)

Context: After Kirk successfully uses a risky gambit to trick two neighboring peoples into making peace rather than continuing to murder millions of people via computers, he explains his thinking:

It was a calculated risk. Still, the Eminians keep a very orderly society, and actual war is a very messy business. A very, very messy business. I had a feeling that they would do anything to avoid it, even talk peace.

When Spock is dubious about acting based on "a feeling," Kirk adds:

Sometimes, Mr. Spock, a feeling is all we humans have to go on.

Spock replies:

Captain, you almost make me believe in luck.

And then Kirk dials it up to:

Why, Mr. Spock, you almost make me believe in miracles.

Then the camera just focuses on Spock visibly trying to process this and the episode ends.

4— "Requiem for Methuselah" (Season 3)

Context: this is one of relatively few episodes in which Kirk actually gets to pursue a woman because he likes her rather than desperate circumstances; as usual with people he cares about, she dies. He's so emotionally drained at this point in the show that, upon returning to the ship, he describes his immortal rival for her love and himself as "A very old and lonely man, and a young and lonely man," mutters that he wishes he could just forget it all, and falls asleep at a table.

Meanwhile, Spock (who has been visibly intense and uncomfortable throughout the whole episode) stays nearby as McCoy enters. Spock gestures at him to stay quiet and McCoy briefly exposits a plot point to Spock, then segues into an unexpectedly vicious, half-smiling monologue about what Kirk's gone through in the episode and how Spock could never understand it:

Considering his opponent's longevity, truly an eternal triangle. You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know simply because the word love isn't written into your book. Goodnight, Spock.

Spock just endures and politely replies "Goodnight, doctor," but after McCoy leaves, he allows himself to respond. Without so much as a scene break, Spock slowly walks over to the unconscious Kirk, touches his face, and mind-melds with him while he sleeps. And then he wipes Kirk's memory (!!!) of the tragic romance with his rival this girl, murmuring:

Forget.

5— "And the Children Shall Lead" (Season 3)

Context: a simple instance from a weak episode, but also ... damn, it's a lot. A bunch of children under the malign influence of an evil imperialist alien have managed to take over the Enterprise. This isn't the first time something roughly similar has happened, but at this point, Kirk has a full on panic attack as he and Spock leave the bridge and take the turbolift. Kirk clings to Spock as he melts down and Spock unsuccessfully tries to calm him with "Captain," but it only works when he murmurs, "Jim."

Kirk freezes and then immediately calms back down to his usual rational self. Spock is still concerned and Kirk assures him he'll be fine now (and is).

6— "Miri" (Season 1)

McCoy, Janice Rand, Kirk, and Spock are all gathered around trying to figure out the disease of the week, which has infected all of them (though Spock is asymptomatic). Kirk and Spock lock eyes and Spock points out that they can't go back to the ship, including him since he'd be a carrier, and then he adds:

Whatever happens, I can't go back to the ship ... and I do want to go back to the ship, captain.

Kirk smiles slowly and they just stare at each other as if Janice and McCoy had dropped off the face of the planet.

7— "The Tholian Web" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk is trapped in a different phase of space while a local anomaly is gradually driving the crew of the Enterprise to insane rage. At the same time, the hostile Tholians are threatening the Enterprise with the obvious intent of killing them all within short order, and Kirk's disappearance places Spock in command throughout this triple crisis. Spock refuses to order an escape, instead insisting on the Enterprise remaining in place to keep trying to rescue Kirk, homicidal insanity of the crew be damned, even as the Tholians began attacking.

McCoy urges Spock to prioritize the welfare of the Enterprise and its crew above Kirk, telling him they can't afford to stick around and keep trying. Spock refuses and things predictably get worse.

McCoy confronts him about his priorities:

You should've known what could've happened and done everything in your power to safeguard your crew. That is the mark of a starship captain, like Jim.

Plot events lead everyone, including Spock, to believe that Kirk is dead, and as acting commander, Spock also has to lead the memorial service:

as a result of the battle, we must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive. [...] I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts.

McCoy continues to lash out at him directly afterwards:

He was a hero in every sense of the word, yet his life was sacrificed for nothing. The one thing that would have given his death meaning is the safety of the Enterprise. Now you've made that impossible, Mr. Spock. [...] I really came here to find out why you stayed and fought. [...] You could have assured yourself of a captaincy by leaving the area. But you chose to stay. Why?

Spock coldly replies:

I need not explain my rationale to you or any other member of this crew.

They snap at each other until they find the recording left for both of them by Kirk in the case of his death. It (hilariously) begins:

Bones, Spock, since you are playing this tape, we will assume that I am dead, that the tactical situation is critical, and both of you are locked in mortal combat.

The message is honestly both wise and heartwarming about how they should respect each other and both have important qualities to offer in a crisis. McCoy immediately feels ashamed of how he's been behaving at such a moment, and tells Spock:

Spock, I, er, I'm sorry. It does hurt, doesn't it?

Spock bleakly replies:

What would you have me say, doctor?

8— "Turnabout Intruder" (Season 3)

Context: in the very peculiar series finale, Kirk's autocratic and vengeful ex-girlfriend uses some kind of machine to take control of his body, leaving him trapped in her body. Spock notices almost immediately that "Kirk" is acting out of character and that "Janice" clearly knows something, so he goes to talk to "her" and Kirk tells him everything. Spock thinks it's possible but there's no certain proof, and Kirk urges him to mind-meld with him:

You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe. You know his thoughts. What does your telepathic mind tell you now?

Spock melds with him and is promptly convinced.

Bonus: Spock tries to help Kirk escape shortly thereafter and holds his wrist/hand for a good twenty seconds.

9— "The Paradise Syndrome" (Season 3)

Context: Kirk becomes a carefree amnesiac stranded on a planet of transplanted Indigenous people (it's as bad as it sounds), but there's a much more well-done subplot around Spock commanding the Enterprise in the meanwhile. He stubbornly risks the ship (again) to try and rescue Kirk, but the attempt disastrously fails, leaving the ship with only impulse power. McCoy says in some frustration:

Well, Spock, you took your calculated risk in your calculated Vulcan way, and you lost. You lost for us, you lost for that planet, and you lost for Jim.

Despite his exasperation, McCoy still tries to get Spock to rest. Spock simply ignores him and orders the ship to head towards the planet Kirk is stranded on, still stubbornly set on rescuing him, even though they have no warp capabilities and have to travel entirely by impulse power. When McCoy protests that it'll take months, Spock replies:

Exactly 59.223 days, doctor.

And there's no clever solution around it, either. They do take nearly two months getting to the planet and Spock spends 58 days of the journey fixated on figuring out the puzzle that will allow them to save Kirk. McCoy tries to get him to eat or sleep, since he's done little of either for over 50 days, but Spock refuses to do anything except prepare for rescuing Kirk:

I'm also aware when we arrive at the planet, we'll have barely four hours to effect rescue. I believe those symbols are the key. [...] I am not hungry, doctor. [...] My physical condition is not important, doctor. That obelisk is.

McCoy eventually threatens to call security to force him away from studying the puzzle and make him lie down, so Spock finally goes to bed. As soon as McCoy is gone and out of earshot, Spock just gets back up and returns to contemplating the puzzle until he has a breakthrough.

Then upon beaming down and finding an injured, still-amnesiac Kirk, Spock mind-melds with him to try and repair his memory.

I am Spock. You are James Kirk. Our minds are moving closer. Closer, closer, closer, James Kirk. Closer. [...] Our minds are one. [...] Spock!

Spock breaks the link and falls back, gasping. When McCoy asks what's wrong, Spock just says:

His mind. He is an extremely dynamic individual.

10— "The Enemy Within" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk has been split into two people, representing each half of his personality: one half is noble, intellectual, and restrained, but cautious and indecisive, while the other is strong and bold, but vicious, selfish, and violent. At this point in the episode, Spock et al don't know about the split, so good!Kirk is oblivious and evil!Kirk's bizarre behavior is being attributed to normal Kirk. McCoy sends Spock to the captain's quarters to find out what's wrong with him.

Spock dutifully goes to Kirk's quarters, where he finds good!Kirk relaxing without a shirt on and promptly realizes he's gay loses the ability to put normal sentences together. It's difficult to overstate or even describe the homoeroticism of this scene, so judge for yourself:

Bonus: after Spock realizes he's dealing with only half of Kirk and has taken up helping him present a good front, he has to keep correcting good!Kirk's weaknesses and tells him that acting like actual Kirk means "You can't afford the luxury of being anything less than perfect."

11— "Errand of Mercy" (Season 1)

Context: Kirk and Spock are trying to pass themselves off as members of a species of ostensibly docile, peaceful people being (ostensibly) colonized by the Klingon Empire. Kirk in particular struggles to keep his head down, and when a Klingon shoves and threatens Spock, Kirk loses his shit and nearly clobbers the Klingon. Spock manages to calm him down and as they walk away, Kirk mutters:

You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?

Spock replies:

I thought you might.

Kirk says:

You're right.

12— "Amok Time" (Season 2)

We all know about this one, let's be real. It's difficult to even choose a moment—Spock confiding in Kirk about Vulcan mating practices (Kirk: O_O) and his loathing of the prospect, with Kirk protecting his confidentiality ("I haven't heard a word you've said"), Kirk defending his own choice to implode his career and defy Starfleet (without breaking Spock's confidence) to rush Spock to Vulcan ("I owe him my life a dozen times over. Isn't that worth a career? He's my friend"), Spock telling Kirk he'll undoubtedly find pon farr "distasteful" and Kirk responding "Will I?", Spock begging T'Pau not to let T'Pring choose Kirk as her champion ("I will do what I must [in combat], T'Pau, but not with him! ... In the name of my fathers, forbid. Forbid! T'Pau. I plead with thee! I beg!"), Spock's bleak response to T'Pau's "live long and prosper" after his victory ("I shall do neither. I have killed my captain and my friend"), Spock explaining that his pon farr vanished the moment he thought he'd killed Kirk ("When I thought I had killed the captain, I found I had lost all interest in T'Pring"), McCoy trying to get Spock to admit that his relief at Kirk's survival is illogical and Spock blatantly lying that he is just concerned with the loss of an effective captain, to which Kirk simply responds "Yes, Mr. Spock. I understand" while McCoy splutters ...

But honestly, my favorite is the brief moment of unrestrained emotion when Spock discovers Kirk is still alive and he cries "Jim!" as his whole face lights up and he grabs him. It's one of the only times in TOS that he's in his right mind and yet too overwhelmed to hide what he feels, and it's famous for a reason.

[sleepymccoy]

Someone I follow is posting about Spock and McCoy after the Katra sharing, but they're posting canon thoughts and I'm all fanon so I'm making my own post lol

Post Katra headcanons!

Spock swears in Southern when he's tired. He really doesnt like this

McCoy understands a bit of Vulcan, but only when he doesn't know the person isn't speaking English. Like, if they randomly switch to Vulcan he can keep up until it's pointed out

They can feel when the other is experiencing strong emotions. They don't know what emotion, but it's like an itch or a tickle in their throat to say the other is feeling something

They know a bit of each other's specialised knowledge. McCoy is passable at astrophysics now, and Spock is an even more annoying patient since he understands the terminology

They also remember a few private moments of eachother's that they weren't present for. Both politely don't mention this, but do find confusing ways to allude to it

McCoy can cook some Vulcan dishes now. Spock developed a taste for bourbon in the evening that takes everyone by surprise

With great effort Spock can project messages to McCoy. With greater effort McCoy can give Spock a feeling that translates to fuck off

On Vulcan they're legally super duper married and Spock just doesn't mention this. McCoy notices next tax return when he's taxed like a married man, not a single man. Takes him months of asking around to figure out who the government thinks he's married to. He files for divorce without talking to Spock

Spock won't divorce him cos he did carry his Katra, but he'll agree to an annulment. McCoy about pops off with anger

Kirk buys them a wedding gift when he finds out

They don't get the annulment and neither can really put their finger on why. Something about respecting Vulcan culture, cos they'll still be married on Vulcan no matter what

McCoy gets a headache whenever Spock mind melds with someone else

McCoy can initiate a mind meld with Spock, which they both get kinda very into cos their brains feel so good paired back up again. McCoy drunkenly described it as being better than sex to Kirk and the idea of that sticks around something terrible

Their telepathic connection is stronger after a meld, so they start doing it in advance of missions so they can be in touch immediately if things go sideways

If they're apart for a long time the connection will tell them when each other is close by. They've run into each other at conferences or in hotels or once on a transport ship they didn't know the other was booking too. They find each other quickly and easily when they're nearby

This becomes an uncanny capacity to always vaguely know where the other is. McCoy is bad at remembering that he shouldn't know and will volunteer Spock's whereabouts sometimes without thinking

They get good at learning what the various nudges and hints from their connection mean. They can tell different moods apart and send messages that the other can open at their leisure, rather than breaking through and being front of mind

If one of them is injured or captive or just bored as shit they'll sometimes pop into the other's head and basically turn into the back seat driver from hell

With everything they know and learn, they're very fond of each other

[shanastoryteller]

Happy St Valentines Day 🌹 Can I request some lovey dovey Spirk this evening?

It sucks having memories in his head of Spock that aren't real. Or, not fake, obviously. But not his Spock. Who's not his. This Spock. Current Spock.

He puts through a call that's the middle of the night for him, for a given definition of night when they're so far from Earth's sun. From any sun.

He doesn't know what time it is on New Vulcan, but it doesn't really matter. Spock always answers his call.

His Spock. Not his. Other James Kirk's Spock.

"Jim," Spock says, mouth pulled into a smile that current Spock would rather be caught dead than giving. He's always impressed with how good the guy looks for almost being two centuries old. Knowing that Spock is going to be hot forever also sucks. "Nightmare?"

"Nah," he says, pulling a leg to his chest and resting his chin on his knee. "Just. Memories."

"I am sorry," Spock says. "I did not meld with you carefully. I did not anticipate-"

"It's okay," he interrupts. "I get it."

It had been so fast, so intense. Spock was used to melding with a different James Kirk, one who knew him equally back. Jim hadn't been ready, and Spock hadn't been able to pull back, because -

T'hyla. As close as they can get to soulmates. How well he and Spock's mind fit together would be pretty cool, except that -

It's okay. Sometimes he thinks him and current Spock are sort of friends. That's pretty good.

"Do you wish to talk about it?" Spock asks gently.

He shrugs, shifting to press his forhead to his knee so Spock can't see his face. "I just. I don't think I'm going to live up to him."

Sure, he'd saved Earth. But that was one miracle he'd pulled off. That's a lot different than the man from his memories, the one with his face and his name and who had been someone Spock had followed to hell and back without hesitation. Some days it's all he can do to keep from screaming. His counterpart had earned being captain. Most days, Jim feels like he stole it.

"Impossible," Spock says tenderly. "It is not a competition, Jim. And if it were, I wouldn't bet against you. You can't help but be extraordinary."

The paradox of it makes him laugh, shifting just enough to peer at the video screen. "That doesn't make any sense. We're the same person."

"Precisely," Spock says, smug and warm. Jim wishes they were under the light of the same sun.

[fruitsboots]

I'm a nail technician and here's a big list of headcanons about the kinds of clients the TOS Enterprise crew would be!

Kirk:

-shows up on time for appointment but sometimes has to cancel super last minute.

-doesn't bite his nails but picks at them and his cuticles. not enough to bleed or anything but enough that most of his appointment is cuticle work.

- "Cut them short" my guy there's no free edge.

- holds still, uses arm rest appropriately, doesn't stiffen his hands. no polish, just buffed smooth. jokes every time that next time maybe he'll go with a hot pink.

-asks a lot of questions and chats at the beginning of the appointment but ends up getting a little bored by the end.

-always tips very well but doesn't rebook, he'll call you.

Spock:

-doesn't make appointments, just shows up sometimes on slow days and asks to use certain supplies.

-does his own nails and keeps them very nice and neat. nail beds to die for. Nails grow very fast.

-On occasion has been talked into a dark polish and will let someone else do that for him (he's not very good at the application).

-sits a little too stiffly like he's concentrating. speaks when spoken to. doesn't linger long, the smell gives him a headache.

-doesn't tip but you’re not sure if he knows he’s supposed to.

McCoy:

-calls and asks if there’s time for a walk in then shows up later than he tells you but usually has a good excuse.

-Hands are dry as hell from washing them a lot. Worst, driest cuticles. Always gets a split on the edge of his pointer finger.

-Sits too far away from the table, at an angle, hunched, wrists on the armrest and elbows locked. Has to be asked to scoot arms forward a million times.

-Is annoying to work on technically, but fun to chat with. Always turns into a complaint session but in the best way. Wants to know the drama in your life and gives opinions.

- Closes eyes and tries not to doze off during the hand massage. Wipes off all the lotion that he desperately needs.

-Tips alright and always says he’ll come back soon but you know it’ll be another 4 months.

Uhura:

-has a standing appointment every 3 weeks and is never late, sometimes she’ll bring you a drink and apologizes when she doesn’t.

-Did her own nails for a long time and keeps them well manicured between appointments.

-Will (properly!) remove her own gel polish before appointments to save you the trouble.

- Tends to go for lighter, pearlescent shades. Always asks what you have that’s new but then picks one of her go-tos.

- Loves to look at nail art but doesn’t usually get it.

-Super bubbly during appointments, very patient, sits perfectly. Always enthusiastic about the result and gives lots of praise.

-Tips well and takes business cards to give to people.

Chapel:

-Not really supposed to get her nails done but does anyways. Doesn’t have super regular appointments but usually books with Uhura when she does.

-Usually shows up with chipped polish from last time that desperately needed removed 3 weeks ago.

-Gets light/sheer colors.

-Sometimes will book for a gel manicure and then tell you she doesn’t actually want polish this time even tho she needs it. Nice nails beds but they are thin and peel a bit without anything on them.

-Apologizes for no reason multiple times. Thanks you as if it were an inconvenience to do her nails? 

-After a few appointments, she loosens up a bit. Tips decent.

Sulu:

-has gotten his nails done like five times just for fun.

-Keeps them short, not much cuticle work. Why are you here??

- Will get a couple “masculine” designs and isn’t picky about them. “You just do whatever you think will look best :) “

-genuinely fun to have as a client but needs some direction on how to sit etc. can talk about anything.

-Didn’t tip the first time bc he didn’t know and felt bad so he always does, but it’s not much.

Scotty:

-how can one man have so much grease under his nails?

-Has a standing appointment once a month for just a nail trim but should be more like every two weeks.

-Asks questions about nail equipment (UV lamp, e-file, etc).

-Talks a bit during the appointment and then stands around after chatting. Always tips like 2$ but sometimes brings baked goods, etc.

Chekov:

-wanders in with a bruised nail and is like “what can you do for this” nothing dude.

-Leaves and comes back later to buy a gift certificate to give to a girl.

[self-made-purgatories]

From the Half-Empty Loveseat to the Cuck Chair: there is definitely a Spirk fight arc in Season 3. Here's the latest development, from The Cloud Minders.

First, a quick recap of the last two episodes:

S3E19: Requiem for Methuselah: Everything goes off the rails in this episode. Kirk fixates on a female Spock surrogate because internalized homophobia, repeatedly rejecting the real Spock and seriously hurting his feelings and their relationship in the process. It turns out the girl is a counterfeit girl in addition to a counterfeit Spock, and so Kirk loses it even further and hurts Spock even worse. Their relationship is in shreds by the end of the episode. I wrote a gigantic post about this episode if you want to know more of my thoughts (and more about the half-empty loveseat).

S3E20: The Way to Eden (the Space Hippies one): Kirk and Spock are definitely still fighting (I posted about this too). They don't touch, don't make eye contact, don't flirt, don't work together, struggle even being in the same room together. Spock goes off and has a thing with a fun flirty space-hippie musician guy in a miniskirt (and honestly, good for them).

And now:

S3E21: The Cloud Minders: Spock and Kirk are back to working together, off on a mission together. Their tone is cool, professional. They keep their own personal space. Their interactions are calm, less awkward than The Way to Eden, but no longer intimate.

At one point they are given a bed to share and Spock takes the cuck chair across the room instead, which is fraught with symbolism. The half-empty loveseat is gone; Spock is sitting alone, leaving no room for Kirk. (Not to mention that he has literally been cucked.) And yet still, still, just as at the end of Requiem for Methuselah, he watches over Kirk as he sleeps.

Most notably in this episode, Spock openly and shamelessly flirts with their host's scantily clad six-packed daughter, both in front of Kirk and in private. Spock's unusual behavior is both to make Kirk jealous and to cockblock him because he really cannot fucking take any more of this bullshit of having to watch Kirk bag another bitch of the week right in front of him. It works; the girl is practically begging Spock to fuck her and never once looks at Kirk. Meanwhile, though, Kirk is attacked by a female disrupter, and he manages to pin her to a bed and flirt with her, but he does keep it in his pants. After a short struggle with the disrupter, Kirk calls for Spock and when he finds the two of them standing alone in the room together, Spock bitterly asks, "Am I... intruding, Captain?" and proceeds to glare at Kirk for most of the conversation that follows.

BUT. Late in the episode, Kirk is in trouble down on the planet's surface. Spock beams up both Kirk and his attacker and jumps into the melee to help Kirk and break up the fight. He grabs Kirk with both hands and pulls him away.

Kirk is out of control, momentarily insane from the effects of the cave gas, and Spock forcefully and desperately reminds Kirk of this by very uncharacteristically, emotionally, illogically shouting it in his face.

Kirk composes himself rather quickly. There are echoes of the turbolift scene where Spock's presence delivers Kirk from a panic attack, although this time it's very brief, and much less like a kiss and much more like a fight. But once again, the moment is rife with sexual tension. (Seems like a good spot to point out that fighting and fucking are very closely connected in the series also.)

This is the first time they have touched since Requiem for Methuselah. They stare deeply into each others eyes for a brief moment. Are they communicating telepathically, as they sometimes do? What are they saying?

Did it feel good to yell at him, Spock? Did it feel good to release some of those emotions? Kirk, do you understand now? Can you fix it? Can you two kiss and make up and move on now?

All of this is underscored by the way Bones just stands there, saying nothing, staring unblinkingly at the two of them this whole time. He knows them better than anyone. I wonder if he is wondering the same things I am.

[nyx-the-reader]

Hello Tumblr dwellers,

You guys must have gotten it from my previous posts that I am a huge shipper. I love my books, manga, anime, webtoon etc. and I like fanfiction just as much.

So I need some help. I read these two Spirk fanfiction, but like the idiot i am, i forgot to bookmark them. If anyone knows the names, please share 🙏

One is about AOS Spirk 5+1 where Jim keeps buying or making gifts for Spock but never has the courage to give them to him. In the last story, Spock finds them and they finally talk about feelings. Spock is also dating Uhura during the start of the fic but they break up before anything happens between Spirk.

The Other is about Jim willingly becoming hostage to their enemies to save his ship and telling Spock a number. The number turns out to be the number of his personal log where he has recorded his feelings about spock. This one also has a happy ending. I can't even tell if it is AOS or TOS.

Both are on ao3 but I can't remember any specific keywords using which I can search them. So once again please help.

[mcspirkevents]

Mcspirk Month 2025

McSpirk Month, what is it, and how does it work?

Mcspirk Month is a fandom event meant to celebrate the ship of McCoy/Spock/Kirk, in any and all forms. QPRs are valid, and celebrated here.

If you make something for Mcspirk month you can post it on tumblr and tag this blog (I'll reblog your works). You can also post it to the Ao3 collection, found here.

Mcspirk month 2025 begins MAY 1st. However you can post whenever you want. (If you find these prompt lists five years after the fact and still want to post to the collection, or tag this blog then go for it!)

Can I mix and match prompts?

Absolutely! If there's an NSFW prompt you want to write the most tooth-rotting, safe for work fluff with, then do it. The vice versa is also cool.

What are the Bonus prompts?

They are extra prompts. If there's a day with a prompt you don't like, you can switch it out with the bonus prompts. You could even combine them with other prompts if you want.

Below the cut will be written out list of the days and prompts. The NSFW list is also below the cut.

The Written Out SFW List:

Day 1 - Old men McSpirk

Day 2 - Touch telepathy

Day 3 - Protective Spock

Day 4 - Jim and Spock have started to call Bones by his first name more frequently

Day 5 - Spock gets extra fuzzy inside when he sees Leonard and Jim do the Vulcan Kiss

Day 6 - Jim tries to make Spock and Bones argue on purpose

Day 7 - Hurt/Comfort

Day 8 - Vulcans are cats

Day 9 - Truth Serum

Day 10 - Accidental Love Confessions

Day 11 - Accidental Injuries

Day 12 - Vulcan Kisses

Day 13 - Nap/Sleeping

Day 14 - Old Married

Day 15 - Tarsus IV

Day 16 - At first Leonard didn't like sleeping with other people

Day 17 - Spock purring

Day 18 - Oblivious Pining

Day 19 - Didn't Know They Were Dating

Day 20 - A lot of aggressive kissing after heated arguments

Day 21 - Swapping Clothes

Day 22 - Flirting for the Mission

Day 23 - Accidental Baby Acquisition

Day 24 - Mind Meld

Day 25 - Jim and Spock are extra caring for Bones when he is sick

Day 26 - Stuck Together

Day 27 - Spock's favorite affections from Leonard and Jim

Day 28 - Weather Too Cold

Day 29 - Tribble infestation

Day 30 - Accidental Marriage

Day 31 - Dress uniform

Bonus - Time Travel

Bonus - Bridge crew as family

Bonus - Flower Shop/Tattoo Parlor/Book Store AU

Bonus - Cuddling

The NSFW prompt list:

The Written Out NSFW Prompt list:

Day 1 - Have To Stay Quiet

Day 2 - Spock’s First Pon Farr Where He Asks Jim And Bones If They’ll Permit Him To Go Absolutely Bonkers Over Them

Day 3 - Premature Ejaculation/Coming In Pants

Day 4 - Hands Kink

Day 5 - Pon Farr

Day 6 - Lesbian!Mcspirk

Day 7 - Edging

Day 8 - Mirrorverse

Day 9 - Vulcan Mind Melds

Day 10 - Spock (Ace King) Learning To Please His Humans By Watching Them In Action

Day 11 - Top Mccoy

Day 12 - Biting

Day 13 - 5 Times Aliens Made Them Do It / Once They Did It For Keeps

Day 14 - Scenting/Scent Kink

Day 15 - Nonsexual Hobby Gets Sexy

Day 16 - “Good Girl/Good Boy/So Good For Me”

Day 17 - Jim Loves Being Topped More Than He Likes To Admit

Day 18 - Sex In The Captain’s Chair

Day 19 - Dammit Jim I’m A Doctor Not A Vulcan Porn Star

Day 20 - Tied Up

Day 21 - Trying A New Kink For The First Time

Day 22 - Stuck/Trapped

Day 23 - Sloppy Seconds

Day 24 - Dry Humping

Day 25 - Orgasm Delay/Denial

Day 26 - Bondage

Day 27 - Consensual Non-Consent

Day 28 - Submissive Jim

Day 29 - Never Too Old For Sex

Day 30 - Desperation

Day 31 - First Time Bottoming

Bonus - The Phrase “You’re Taking Me So Well”

Bonus - Wet And Messy

Bonus - Submission

Bonus - Alien Tech Sex Toy

[glitter-and-spite]

I might be the exact target audience for Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and I think it's because of my autism.

I'm at season 2 episode 5 (Charades) and I keep asking myself, "Is Spock Vulcan or just autistic?" because he's sooooo relatable it's baffling. I mean, he's relatable in every rendition, especially TOS, but wow SNW Spock hits a certain way. Yes I too complain about being able to smell people constantly.

HE EVEN DOES HAPPY STIMS LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I bounce when tasting good food, Spock rocks, same thing basically. Overwhelming joy turned into physical energy.

Like do you want me to go through the show and make a list of "moments Spock was peak autism vibes" because I'm autistic enough to make that. I can even give you a spreadsheet and diagrams. A 10-part series. A video essay. For science.

When is it time to form a headcanon that Amanda's autistic, which is why she ended up with a Vulcan husband and living on Vulcan, and Spock inherited her autism, but because of Vulcan cultural norms, it's hardly noticeable (except when he turns human hehe).

Also Christine Chappell gives me such strong autism vibes too? My lesbian heart is so smitten. And the instant connection she had with Spock, like when autistic people cross paths in the wild and wonder why they get along so well?

I don't know enough autistic people in real life so when I resonate with characters like these it makes me soooo happy lol. This show is a joy to watch.

[starship21zedna9]

The thing about Spock is that HE'S ALLOWED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WOMEN!!!

Strange New Worlds has in NO WAY turned Spock into a womanizer and I can't believe I had to read that with my own two eyeballs.

First of all, Spock has had two love interests. TWO. And neither of them have been flings or one night stands or meaningless. For Surak's sake, that hardly makes him a womanizer.

Second of all, bisexuality and pansexuality are things. This is a prequel. He is still going to love Kirk (and Bones) eventually. His relationships with T'Pring or Chapel do not take away from that.

Let's start with T'Pring. If you want to be mad that they totally changed their relationship from what it was in Amok Time then I get that. They absolutely went against canon with them. Totally fair to be annoyed by that. For me, Trek contradicts itself all the time. I just kind of roll with it unless it's something very important and to me, T'Pring and Spock's relationship is not very important. They keep giving him secret siblings so I can live with his relationship with T'Pring being different.

I think exploring Spock's relationship with a fellow Vulcan who loves him enough to propose to him is interesting. More interesting than an arranged wife he's had since childhood and hasn't seen since.

It's just another way to explore his human vs. vulcan side. He could easily stay on Vulcan, work for the Science Academy, marry T'Pring and have little Vulcans. She loves him and she goes out of her way to try and understand his human side and meet him halfway. It would be easy for him. But, he feels the pull of something else. His life is with Starfleet. He can't let go of that. As much as he chooses to embrace his Vulcan half and wants to be the most Vulcan he can be, he can't. And he struggles with that and often considers it a failing.

I think he cares for her and perhaps thought he was in love with her but it wasn't until he began letting himself feel his emotions that he's realized that he's not.

Now, onto Chapel. I already made a post about how I don't think having them be canon necessarily goes against their dynamic in TOS so I won't get into that.

The show took the time and the steps to build this relationship up. Maybe not as much time as they could have but with 10 episodes a season, what could they do unless they made the show all Spapel all the time.

She flirted with him right away and he didn't even register it until Uhura pointed it out. Chapel reached out to him as a friend, giving him relationship advice. Advice which he followed and even though that went sideways, he felt comfortable enough to seek her out again for the same thing.

Their first kiss was a ruse but they both felt something. Still, it wasn't until Spock let his emotions loose in episode 9 that he really started to fall for her. She helped him through that. She told him he wasn't weak for feeling. She held him through his storm of emotions.

And after Broken Circle, he tried to suppress them again. In Charades, when he became fully human, those emotions were going to come free again. And then he decided to try. He wanted to feel and try embracing his human side. He wanted to give into his feelings for Chapel and be with her.

And he was enjoying it until he was promptly dumped, lol. I don't know what happens to him and his relationships from here (well, in the long run I do but not in the time frame of SNW) but I would imagine he tries to put his feelings away again and screw embracing his human side because trying that ended up hurting him. At least in terms of romance.

Anyway, Spock was never canonically gay. He can be interpreted that way, sure. But, it's not against canon or 'forcing Spock to be straight' to have him love a woman.

Again, it's two. Two whole woman who he has complicated feelings for. He's not a womanizer. The show is just exploring a new side to him.

And one note on AOS, because that's been argued to death for over a decade now. I'll just say that Spirk didn't suck in AOS because Spock was with Uhura. It sucked because the filmmakers decided to give them an antagonistic relationship. At least until Beyond where they spent most of the movie apart.

Let. Spock. Love. Women.

[anghraine]

I was thinking about "Journey to Babel" for whatever reason, and about how I find Sarek and Amanda super intriguing both as Spock's parents and as a couple.

Like, before watching, I had the vague fandom-osmosis impression that Sarek is Spock's shitty, judgmental father who actually does care about him deep (deep) down and will come through in a pinch, but not much more than that. I'd gathered that his emotional world mostly revolves around being crazy about his wife while refusing to admit he has feelings about anything (and everyone sees through this).

I also had a vague fandom-osmosis impression that Amanda is the normal, supportive, emotionally healthy parent to Sarek's distant, disapproving one and that it's not entirely clear why she even stays with this asshole except some vague "well, she loves him, I guess."

But upon watching the actual episode, I was quite surprised by Amanda—not at first, when she does seem more or less as reported, but later, as the stakes rise and we end up with Spock anxious about Kirk's health (because he got stabbed nearly to death) and insistently upholding his responsibility to take up Kirk's role, while Amanda is anxious about Sarek's health (because he's nearly dead of a congenital problem) and insistently trying to use whatever influence she can bring to bear to save him (the parallel signifying nothing, I'm sure). And the way these collide is kind of heartbreaking, because "Journey to Babel" is entirely clear that her reason for staying with Sarek is not that she's vaguely loving but that she's every bit as insane about him as he is about her.

When she hits Spock for not risking his own life and that of hundreds of other people on board to donate a ton of blood to Sarek in an experimental procedure that may or may not even work and tells him she'll hate him forever if he doesn't do it, I was like... I mean, I get that it's a tough moment for her, yes. But also, what the fuck. This is your son, ma'am.

I don't hate her for this, to be clear. I was just surprised that Spock is such an obviously secondary priority to both of his parents rather than Amanda being The Normal One. Amanda has never been normal about Sarek a day in her life!

And ... I mean, Spock himself has repeatedly jeopardized the lives of everyone on the Enterprise for slim chances of somehow saving Kirk, well past the point when even McCoy was telling him to stop. Oh, and Spock led a different outside chance of saving Kirk that failed and left the Enterprise with only impulse power, and Spock's response was to keep going towards Kirk's location on impulse power and spend the 58 days it took him to get there barely eating or sleeping.

So, like, yes, I don't get the feeling that Sarek or Amanda are particularly good parents, though they love Spock in their very different ways. But I do kind of respect them for being the only TOS couple who I genuinely feel are absolutely unhinged about each other in the same way as Spock and Kirk. As far as TOS is concerned, I'd love to be a fly on the wall at their family gatherings.

[outlaw-apologist]

Halloween With The X-Men (HCs)

Characters: Logan, Scott, Hank, Kurt, Remy, Jean, Ororo, Rogue

Logan:

You and Jean had to convince him to dress up, with Jean having to bribe him with the promise of extra Danger Room time and you sweetening the deal with all the mini Reese’s you could find. He grumbles and rolls his eyes when you hand him the costume, but deep down, he loves the whole get-up. You watch him tug on a pair of fake ears and mess his hair up even more than usual, the growl he gives you playful but... it sends a shiver up your spine. He thinks he looks ridiculous, but the way you’re looking at him, he feels like the most dangerous guy in the room.

He sneaks candy the whole night, ducking around corners to snag a chocolate bar or two before Scott notices. And every time he manages to snag a few pieces, he slips one into your hand with this mischievous, guilty little smirk, muttering, “I’ll replace ‘em, kid. Promise.” There’s always more candy in his jacket pockets than he’d ever admit to.

When the “Monster Mash” starts playing, Logan raises an eyebrow at Jean, half-accusing her of playing something so “dirty” at a kid’s party. It takes a good five minutes of explaining (with Jean laughing so hard she has to sit down) before he realizes it’s not what he thought. You’re still snickering about it later when he grumbles, “Ya can’t blame me for thinkin’ it was somethin’... else, alright?”

You’d shown him Supernatural weeks ago, and he’d taken to it immediately, bonding with Dean’s tough-guy act and wry humor. When you find him quoting Dean under his breath, it’s hard to hold back a grin, and Logan notices, giving you a look that says, Yeah, I know you’re laughing at me. But later, when no one’s around, he leans in close and whispers, “Gotta say, darlin’, I get why ya like that show... maybe that Winchester guy’s got a few tricks worth learnin’.” It’s the most subtle admission of affection he can manage, and it sends your heart racing every time.

As the night winds down and the kids go to bed, he pulls you aside, holding out his candy stash as if he’s making an offering. “All yours, if ya want it,” he mutters, looking almost sheepish. And even though he’d clearly been enjoying it all night, he’d rather see you smile than keep it for himself. You take a few pieces, sharing them with him and leaning into his shoulder. He might grumble about Halloween, but the warmth between you two makes him realize it might just be his new favorite holiday.

Scott:

He spends days agonizing over his costume choice, pacing back and forth in front of the mirror as he tries on a black leather jacket one moment and holds up a pair of pointed ears the next. “I mean, James Dean is cool… but Spock has that logical flair, you know?” He glances at you, looking genuinely torn. In the end, you pick for him, and the look on his face is priceless when he sees himself as Spock (because let’s be honest, you know he secretly loves it). If you want a couples costume you can go as sexy Kirk!

Putting up Halloween decorations with him is pure comedy. He’s dead serious about hanging every last ghost and cobweb at a perfect 90-degree angle, but it’s impossible to keep things that precise with autumn leaves swirling around everywhere. When one floats past him, he catches it without thinking, and you make a playful challenge of it, trying to out-catch him. By the end of it, you’re both laughing, arms full of leaves, and the decorations look delightfully messy.

“We’ve gotta make sure there’s no tricks,” he says, face all seriousness as you two prepare to take the younger kids out. You can barely hold back a grin. Yet despite his stern approach, he’s all smiles with the kids, holding their bags when they get too full, getting down to their level to talk to them, and even convincing a few hesitant ones to brave the spookier houses. When he hands you your own stash of treats at the end, he whispers, “Just in case you didn’t get enough.”

Watching Halloween with him before bed seemed like a fun idea… until you’re both lying in bed afterward, and he keeps glancing over at the shadow by the window. You offer to turn on a nightlight, but he stubbornly insists he’s fine. When you jokingly try to spook him with a little “Boo,” he jumps, and his hand immediately goes for your shoulder. You laugh, and he huffs, muttering, “Don’t push your luck,” even as he scoots closer.

Kurt:

He lights up the moment you show him your costume, practically floating over to you, his tail swishing with excitement. “You look so beautiful,” he murmurs, eyes shining as he gazes at you with that love-drunk grin. It’s clear that he’s more interested in showing you off than in what he’ll wear himself. You both end up with matching costumes because he’s delighted by the idea of everyone knowing you’re together. Throughout the night, you catch him glancing at you, pride and admiration all over his face.

He volunteers to string up all the lights, insisting he can do it faster and safer with his teleporting abilities. Halfway through, you hear all sorts of bumps and thumps from the attic, and suddenly, a handful of younger kids are running up to you, wide-eyed, convinced it’s “Casper the friendly ghost.” Kurt overhears them and plays along, going bamf around corners with a grin, happily feeding the mystery.

Unlike Scott, Kurt lives for Halloween mischief. While everyone else trick-or-treats, he spends the night popping out from behind trees, gently tugging on costume capes, and letting out perfectly timed ghostly groans. He has the time of his life being the “spooky” part of the evening, and every time he startles someone, he returns to you looking like he’s just won a prize.

The night winds down with you both curled up under a thick blanket, sipping hot chocolate as he recounts stories of Halloween in Germany. He shares tales of bonfires, costumes, and some of the eerie traditions he remembers, his voice low and warm as you snuggle up close, lulled by his stories and the comfort of his presence.

Hank:

Halloween costume plans aren’t really his thing this year, not when he already feels like a “big blue monster.” You and Logan, however, won’t take no for an answer. Logan grumbles that he’s not letting Hank skip out on a night off, and when Scott calls dibs on Spock, you offer a new idea: a “Ghostbusters” duo. Hank raises an eyebrow, but his resistance finally breaks when you promise to take the whole theme seriously. Watching you two suit up together, he can’t help but laugh, fully in the spirit.

He gets so into the holiday that he bakes trays of Halloween cookies – tiny jack-o-lanterns, witches, and a batch of sugar bats just for you. But after you find a stray blue hair in your ‘graveyard dirt’ pudding, you make him redo the cookies in his human form. “The sacrifices I make for good hygiene,” he jokes, but he looks happy, relieved to share the night in this way.

After you two watch Sleepy Hollow, he shakes his head, muttering something about folklore and local superstition. “We must visit Sleepy Hollow someday,” he insists, with every bit of his scientific curiosity sparking. “I’ll prove that headless apparitions are nothing more than myth!” You nod along, eyes glinting with excitement – though you’re half-hoping for an unexplained flicker of movement, if only to see him jump.

By the end of the night, you find yourselves wandering a gothic cemetery, Hank’s excitement as bright as ever, talking about spectrometry and ectoplasm while you playfully spook him, mimicking ghostly voices. Under the full moon’s light, the cemetery is eerie and quiet, the perfect end to your ghostbusting adventure.

Remy:

“It’ll be fun!” he insists with that irresistible grin as he holds up a Ouija board, eyes practically sparkling at the thought. You’re on board, of course, until Jean marches over, all serious, and insists he get rid of it. She’s adamant that there’s no way it’s staying in the mansion, but you and Remy get a good laugh watching her haul it out, grumbling the whole way.

He’s every bit the New Orleans vampire, cape and fangs, his accent somehow thicker and smoother when he leans in close to say, “Don’t I look the part, chérie?” You laugh, but it’s hard not to appreciate how much he gets into the role, his natural charm perfect for a little Halloween theatrics.

Remy decides to teach a “lesson” on the difference between Voodoo and Hoodoo, diving into stories about his home. You’re pretty sure his knowledge is spotty at best, but it’s worth it just to hear him talk about New Orleans, his love for the place adding color to every word. The students eat it up, fully entranced by the mystery and magic he spins.

Carving pumpkins with the kids, he decides to one-up everyone and light one on fire to show his “signature touch.” Within seconds, there’s smoke billowing, and he’s scrambling to put it out while you laugh, watching him juggle his pumpkin masterpiece in a panic. By the end, he’s muttering about “no appreciation for creativity” but looks at you with a glint of mischief, already plotting his next Halloween stunt.

Jean:

She’s a total Daphne Blake, decked out in purple with a bright orange scarf, every bit of her glammed up in Scooby-Doo style. You go as her Freddy (or Velma if the mood strikes), and when you two sneak a playful kiss in front of Logan, he goes visibly stiff, jaw clenched, looking at anything else in the room to keep himself in check. Jean catches it and just laughs, leaning closer to you with an exaggerated wink that has you both grinning.

She leads the arts and crafts with the younger kids, showing them how to make little bat cutouts, ghosts, and grinning pumpkin faces. By the end, the mansion is a patchwork of their colorful creations taped up in the halls, and the kids adore her, crowding around with their paper cutouts and glue sticks.

At some point, she grabs the face paints and convinces Scott and even the professor to let her and you paint their faces. Scott’s hesitant but ends up with a clumsy ghost on one cheek, and you give the professor a cartoonish bat that has him chuckling. Jean, of course, goes all out with her own look, adding vibrant purples and greens to match her Daphne outfit.

She’s a die-hard Scream fan, no question. You two settle down with popcorn, candy, and a blanket for a full Scream marathon, quoting your favorite lines and laughing at all the jump scares. Every time Ghostface pops up, she leans closer to you, grinning, totally at home in the suspense and thrill of the night.

Rogue:

She’s all Janis Joplin vibes, dressed up in vintage fringe, colorful scarves, and tinted shades. When you ask her to give you a little twirl, she laughs, spinning around before breaking into a few lines of “Piece of My Heart.” She’s all smiles, her voice playful and smoky, and you can’t help but cheer. Logan, passing by, gives her an approving nod. “Got the look down, kid,” he says, and mentions he’s even met the real Janis. Her eyes go wide with admiration, and you catch her humming songs under her breath the rest of the night.

“Coffin races? Morbid as hell, I’m in!” When you and Rogue decide to enter the local coffin race, Remy insists on joining, which only makes Scott even more disapproving. But with Rogue’s design, your ideas, and Remy’s flair, you three craft the slickest, wildest coffin go-cart in the race. The big day comes, and Remy gets a little too excited—he veers off course, and the whole contraption crashes in spectacular, hilarious fashion. You’re all laughing, even Scott eventually, but the coffin’s definitely seen its last race.

You two get your tarot cards read by a booth vendor, and she perks up, especially when it comes to the love life section. She blushes when she glances over at you, biting her lip before daring to ask her question. Her gloved fingers graze yours under the table, and there’s a shy smile she’s trying to hide.

The night winds down with the two of you curled up for Phantom of the Opera. Rogue’s eyes shine as she sings along to every song, voice soft in your ear, and before long, the film fades into the background. The night ends in soft, lingering looks.

Ororo:

At first, she’s hesitant when you and Remy try to talk her into dressing up. Halloween’s always felt too close to mockery to her, a night that could disrespect the spirits. But when she sees the kids’ faces light up at her Catwoman costume, she finally softens, even giving you and Remy an amused look before flashing her best fierce pose.

You settle in to watch The Haunting of Hill House, and Ororo pretends to be calm and collected. But by episode three, she’s clutching your arm just a little tighter, glancing nervously around the room. For days afterward, she avoids walking down dark hallways in the mansion, laughing it off but unable to shake the ghostly chill. She swears she sees movement in the shadows sometimes and gives Logan a hard time, accusing him of sneaking around.

When it’s nearing midnight and the students refuse to come back inside from their last trick-or-treat round, she raises a single eyebrow before quietly summoning a drizzle that quickly turns to a full-on rainstorm. The kids groan and race for the mansion doors, leaving candy wrappers and laughter in their wake. She sends you a conspiratorial smile, looking pretty pleased with herself.

Finally, with the horror out of the way, you both decide to finish the night on a lighter note, cozying up together on the couch with a stack of rom-coms. Sharing a bowl of candy, you end up feeding each other pieces as you laugh, the sweet quiet moments pushing all the lingering shadows far from her mind.

[starberry-cupcake]

It took me longer to sit down to do the recap than to read the bit. Note: please don't tell me anything that might be a spoiler or a reference to things that will happen in the future of the book! I'd rather not know anything as I read, I'll be happy to engage in conversation of the details after I'm done! Also, please be kind if I make a mistake, English isn't my first language and these books sometimes are difficult 🙏 Thank you for your patience and continued interest ♥

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag of the recaps, for anyone wondering

DAY FIVE ("the saddest girl in the whole entire world" girl, same "paul gets born" happy birthday paul??? I guess???)

CHAPTER 20 (first house, we better run)

nona wakes up yet again, this time after a tantrum

she's throwing up and palmolive helps her out

they're in the BOE meeting room with the wake portrait again

palmolive had to do some necromancer operation shenanigans to remove the bullet from nona's head

and sriracha girlie decided to exit the chat

BOE freaked out about the operation and put a shackle on camolive and locked them and nona together

nona is embarrassed about the tantrum but palmolive is like "fuck them, actually"

palmolive is mad about them leaving the gang in the dark in so many ways and thinks they had it coming for doing that

I agree, I mean, I get where BOE is coming from with the hesitancy to trust people who were on the other side of this

but it's not like you have a chance to win against nona, pyrrha and camolive, if it gets to that

and there's so much you don't know to even think you can win

so, maybe this could have been planned better, is all I'm saying

in any case, nona finally tells palmolive about gideon dream girl

and palmolive says that if camilla and him didn't love her so much they'd throttle her and give her magazines to charity

nona thinks that's bs because she's "the most deserving person on the planet"

this ego thing she has going on sometimes takes me by surprise, I forget she thinks like this

I guess it's a kid way of thinking, but still

nona also decides to continue with the reveals and tells palmolive the Secret that I believe is the same she told sriracha girlie a while back

and it's that she's dying

1) how? 2) who, in that clown car of a body, is dying exactly? 3) did it have to be now??????

palmolive is looking like spock up there, actually

(would palmolive be a spock fanboy? because I think very yes, but we don't always agree on our palmolive headcanons)

palmolive has to roll up his sleeves and do some necro magic again

"Cytherea the First must have enjoyed those games she played with me"

I could have told you, my guy, but you were being a weenie, like gideon said

I feel bad about it, though, poor guy

*patting palmolive in the head in my mind*

so, nona apparently is starving, but energetically

because her soul is trying to leave the clown car of a body she's in

harrow's body, I think we've established at this point

it makes sense to me, it's not her body, allegedly

and maybe also nona's soul is extra weird, because this is ice cube barbie or some other weird thing that is too powerful for harrow's poor little clown car body

like trapping a genie in a glass dropper

that's kind of palmolive's train of thought too, actually, except he uses terms like "melange" and "gestalt theory" instead of "some other weird thing" and "clown car body"

what I remember of gestalt theory from uni is the concept that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts

I don't know if he means, in this case, that maybe he thinks her a combination of souls and that, if that was the case, it'd give her bigger powers than harrow or gideon would have had on their own

differently from lyctorhood, in which their combination is more on the advantage of the necromancer, who keeps steering the wheel

unless you get og!gideon'd and die, leaving the car to pyrrha

but anyway, palmolive doesn't know about ice cube barbie, so he doesn't consider her in his train of thought

(that's why you need me in the polycule *drops cv*)

I'M TAKING TOO MUCH TIME WITH ONE PARAGRAPH OF PALMOLIVE TALK, WE NEED TO MOVE ON

palmolive tells nona that he can't let her body die because he has to give it back to harrow

nona asks further details of her potential identities

palmolive tells her that, if she's one of two people, he's not harrow

or not solely harrow

this is very funny to me personally because, as I mentioned back in this recap of chapter 2, when I didn't know anything from these books except for the covers and the names of gideon and harrow, I thought nona was their child in the future

so this idea that nona was born from a combination is really hilarious to me

disrespectful of me, laughing at this time

palmolive describes yandere twin as a very obviously dead person with fashion hair, so he roasted her for me

(we'll talk about the chad of it all in a minute)

he tells nona that dream girl gideon might be her, but nona doesn't want to be a redhead and a zombie

palmolive goes "then what are we all?"

not in those words, but that's the sentiment

he also says sriracha girlie "is a very young woman who has been living on her nerves for so long that I imagine she doesn't have anything else. She'll regret what she did at some point"

ouch, man

I think this isn't the last we've seen of sriracha girlie and she'll come to ruin the party at some point

well, not party, that's a sensitive subject

can't blame her, though, she's been harmed by these people and got her family killed, I can't judge this child

palmolive explains that the shackle they have is explosive and that we suffer and coronabeer have been planning things somewhere without them

kinda wild they ended up trusting coronabeer more than camilla, but I guess it isn't a matter of cv but of how they acted when they were brought in and how coronabeer became one of them

"I hate being locked up" "So did Gideon, I gather"

palmolive, if I told you how this whole thing started with gideon wanting to not be locked up anymore

well, it started with dr reverend emperor john becoming a streamer, but that's another story

"I haven't been able to save many people in my life, I'm afraid, but I'm intent on saving you"

camilla and palmolive switch places and in comes we suffer, without a mask

nona says she'd think her pretty if she wasn't so upset

does nona think everyone is pretty or is everyone pretty here?

is there a difference?

we suffer says that BOE was very impressed with nona going apeshit

she also doesn't want to tell them who angel teacher actually is

she does confirm that angel teacher is a member of BOE and that it was an awful idea to have both the gang and her in the same area

we suffer is also kinda upset at camilla for not telling her that she can do necromancy (which, technically, she can't)

and mentions that the whole thing that went down has made the BOE factions more undecided on what the hell to do with them

we suffer mentions someone volunteered to go face the house people because it wouldn't be a death sentence for her

immediately, I think this must be coronabeer twin

camilla doesn't think this is a good idea whatsoever and we suffer says she needs camilla to translate the stuff that will be said in the meeting

and that coronabeer claims that she's expendable whereas camolive is not

which yeah, to me personally, that's true, but I'm not the standard opinion here

apparently they tried to bomb yandere twin out of existence but we all know that doesn't work on a lyctor

unless you're palmolive, who is an expert on exploding and lyctors

we suffer also thinks it's time for BOE to attack because wake always had them on the defense and it hasn't worked so far

camilla says coronabeer is giving in and that we suffer has been, played because she can't lie to yandere twin

at this point, we suffer is just gonna have to sit there and listen, though, whatever happens

we have an idiom here, "estamos en el horno", which literally means "we're in the oven" and it's used to describe moments in which you're in a very rough situation that is inescapable

kind of like "we're fucked", but more metaphoric

that's what's happening over here

I'm teaching you guys very local idioms but I need you to see what I see

coronabeer reaches the houses spot and this happens

wild to hear someone say "my sister is a lyctor", since most lyctors we knew were a william years old and had no surviving family

that I know of

also, cohort dude at the door will have an awful day because I think coronabeer is the one person who has the most Let Me Speak To The Manager attitude in this whole book series

all she's been doing this time is speak to managers, actually

yandere twin shows up and hugs coronabeer and now I'm realizing she's using chad's body

which is so stupid of me, because nona mentioned yandere twin had brown hair in the video and I was like 'wasn't she blonde????'

but sometimes I don't understand things and you guys are like 'that's not what happened' and I feel dumb, so I was like 'ok, maybe all this time I was wrong about the twins being blondes'

but no, she's using chad like linguini from ratatouille

so that she can set foot in the planet because of the blue light and all that stuff

chad and yandere twin

(or yandere twin channeling chad idk)

roasts coronabeer for her jewelry and the state of her hair

yandere twin says she didn't know coronabeer would be there and that "he" (I assume this is dr reverend emperor john) will think she went there on purpose

so coronabeer unveils her very sick girlfriend judith

yandere twin is like

coronabeer goes "didn't harrow tell you?" and yandere twin is all defensive "when did you talk to harrow?"

this situationship yandere twin has with harrow is very complex

yandere twin doesn't want to help judith

she says "Judith Deuteros, who, when we played Marry, Kill, Reanimate, you used to say reanimate because nobody would be able to tell the difference?"

(I need to make a poll with those options in a recap at some point)

coronabeer being all helga pataki with judith throughout her life is great

she was so doomed

I need more of that, I live for the coronabeer/judith ship

I was trying to explain why I like their dynamic so much and while I was writing it I REALIZED THAT THEY REMIND ME OF

YUZUKI AND MAKOTO FROM SKIP AND LOAFER

pretty, popular, extroverted girl who doesn't want to be reduced to her looks and gets infatuated with the strict, formal, overthinking student council girl, you get me??????

I'm gonna root for them forever

yandere twin wants to crush my hopes and dreams, though, and kill judith, because she's already been putting down necromancers

she's also very upset because the third doesn't care about her becoming a lyctor but are grieving coronabeer instead

a lot of problems would have been solved if these girls' family wasn't such shit

coronabeer asks about gideon and yandere twin says "so you remember her name"

yes, yandere twin, thank god we've moved on from that problem

our current issue is a clown car body of a girl

it seems that chad can get thoughts through to her, or so she says

chad's comments are about coronabeer's accessories, though

also, at this point, when realizing that it was chad's body, I also realized that's who palmolive called "handsome"

palmolive and chad, in another life, you could have been like coronabeer and judith, with an unlikely bond

apparently, yandere twin doesn't want to be seen as "the bad guy"

yandere twin alerts those listening that she knows coronabeer was wired and uses the link to establish her demands: the sixth oversight body (which is not the oversight of losing gideon's body), camilla and harrow "as intact as you have her at this moment"

meanwhile, camilla thinks coronabeer is trying to tell them something through the overheard conversation

yandere twin insists on how judith never paid coronabeer any mind and coronabeer tells her she's a dick

when they get in the facilities, though, there's pyrrha

remember pyrrha? here she was all along

yandere twin says she's taking her (she calls her "him" because I think she still thinks this is og!gideon and not pyrrha) back to dr reverend emperor john

"if Poppa can look up from his mid-dismyriad crisis long enough to pay attention"

SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE SAVING HIS ASS

"You might be the Saint of Duty but I've been on call as Teacher's whipping girl for the last six months"

SHOULD👏HAVE👏THOUGHT👏OF👏THAT👏BEFORE👏SAVING👏HIS👏ASS👏

pyrrha also wants to kill judith, which is bad for me

leave that wet mouse alone

coronabeer asks if pyrrha told yandere twin about harrow and camilla

(I assume she means nona)

yandere twin says she has

is pyrrha triple crossing people? quadruple crossing?

acting like she's og!gideon in front of dr reverend emperor john was crossing 1, then she's acted like she's part of the gang as crossing 2, acting like she's actually on yandere twin's side is 3 and maybe being infiltrated here to pass on info or something would be 4

that's quadruple crossing

no wonder she was a cop

CHAPTER 21 (broken third skull, the girls are fighting???)

nona is happy that pyrrha's whereabouts have been secured

the rest, to her, is confetti

camilla tells we suffer that, all things considered, it all went better than she deserved

we suffer is having a mental breakdown because coronabeer has stolen judith and ran to her sister and they lost the bug they had on her

camilla advises her not to make nona angry and to scan for other bugs on the frequency

because camilla is wonderful and amazing and thinks of everything

camilla mentions nona, during her tantrum, attacked the guards with a chair with a two-handed grasp she never taught her

which is points for gideon in the leaderboard

but idk how ice cube barbie fought, it could also be her, for all I know

the sword was old and mysterious

it's not harrow because harrow had a toxic relationship with the sword

nona stares at camilla and "looked up into the eyes that used to belong to Palamedes, long before she knew either of them" and her nose bleeds

not sure who that's a point for

camilla and palmolive desperately want to talk to each other, which is so exasperating, poor babies

we suffer comes in all happy because camilla was right (did anyone doubt that?????) and there's a bug in the area

camilla assures her it must be on judith

I wonder where and how it was placed there

she also says nona was right about pyrrha giving them codes

and that pyrrha will do anything to get at the shuttle

palmolive and camilla switch again and nona has to update palmolive on everything that went on

nona thinks yandere twin wearing chad's body is coronabeer's boyfriend and is happy to know he's not

idk if she's interested in everyone romantically at the same time or she's not and that's how she expresses her feelings

palmolive introduces himself to we suffer and asks whether they'll give them the sixth if they retrieve gideon's body ("the key to the Locked Tomb")

I assume the bit about the key to the tomb was told to him via pyrrha, who's the only person with a memory present and aware at that time of the whole wake-augustine-mercygirl-emperor conversation

we suffer says she'll give him anything she can for the key to the tomb (including the sixth)

wild how the destiny of the universe was kind of hanging by a thread in baby blender's and kid jesus' playground in the ninth for a while there

palmolive thinks yandere twin is at a disadvantage with the limited abilities she has in the planet as well as with pyrrha, who he still completely trusts

palmolive doesn't know why yandere twin brought gideon along, he suspects it was to bait out harrow, but both him and we suffer need that bod

we suffer, because of the tomb

palmolive, because he thinks it will help nona survive, if that's her actual body, or the body of a part of her soul combo

he is more cautious than we suffer though, because she went from "we're en el horno" to "we've got this, team" real fast

and palmolive is like

palmolive is, though, very optimistic about his and camilla's chances of making this happen

or he's just risking it all for the sixth

when they switch, nona tells camilla that palmolive revealed it all to we suffer and camilla says "I don't know why I bother"

which is a mood

we suffer tells camilla that the whole sixth thing is complicated because BOE has factions that aren't always aligned and that wake could move them at will but she can't

I'm guessing they didn't know wake was having a close encounter with two sides of the same lyctor

camilla said she'd try to do it and we suffer goes "Palamedes Sextus thought you could"

if camilla is harmed here istg

I'm gonna eat these pages

I'm gonna rip them with my teeth and eat them

we suffer also requests that, if they leave planet, they take a package with them

unclear what it is

hope it's not a living being

or a kid, unless it's kevin

meanwhile, in the new audio coming from judith's intimates, coronabeer is talking to pyrrha and is upset that they're putting gideon in pretty dresses and parading her around like a doll

me too, actually, I mentioned it in the last recap

coronabeer is also disappointed that yandere twin didn't come for her specifically and it was only a mission to her

she missed you, though, back in the emperor's bolthole

between the lyctor orgies, the arm stuff, the nudes in the walls and the soup

yandere twin has apparently told pyrrha to not let coronabeer help judith

she starts doing a ward but also has time to both insult coronabeer's non existent necro abilities and act disgusted by the prospect of touching judith intimately

she also goes "What did Harrowhark use to always call you? Tortoise? Blorgus?"

is she trying to say "ortus"?

girl, I'm the one with the funny nicknames when the names are complicated, but ortus is definitely not

coronabeer wants to hear the whole story of the brain tampering that resulted in that

meanwhile, camilla seems to have de-coded pyrrha's message in there somewhere

and what she thinks is that nona is the key to something they want

which might be the body, but also who knows

camilla promptly asks for supplies because I think we're gonna try a heist!!!

a heist in which nona might pretend to be harrow?????

but A HEIST!!!!

love it for them

JOHN 9:22

"His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue."

WELL, THEN

pov person who was called harrow but might not be entirely harrow talks about their regenerative powers

they seem to be walking in the ruins of the place where dr reverend emperor john used to reside

so like, post apocalyptic earth?????

are they astral projecting????

apparently, going theatrical and calling himself a necromancer did the trick to reach big audiences

maybe if one of the lyctors had been a marketing specialist, this would have taken half the time

"It even scared A— He was all, Matter doesn't play by these rules! You are doing bone parthenogenesis! I told him his mum did bone parthenogenesis. A— told me he'd kill me one day"

GOD, I WISH HE HAD

they're still going around the fact that, since he can't recuperate the soul, he can't really bring people back to life

he was happy, though, that some people showed up and were pushy enough to be shot so that he could witness people dying live

I'm glad it worked out for you, asshole

he also gets kind of hooked on witnessing violent death because of how it makes him feel

so, he just started killing people remotely

pyrrha shook him and stopped him and was like "what in the fuck are you doing?" and he gave a ukelele apology

"Guys as careful as you shouldn't have accidents"

when the cop is talking reason, you know how twisted things are

they brought in all the corpses for the "skeleton army" he was no longer joking about

pov girlie asks if he know what caused his accident and he said "guys as careful as me don't have accidents"

I don't want to kill him anymore

that'd be too kind to this man

that'd be too merciful, he doesn't deserve that

AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW!!! Sorry this was a long one again! These are taking so little time to read and so long to recap >_< I end up finishing them at ass o'clock and sleepy, but I wanted to get it out!! See you in the next one! Please be kind ♥