#AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS LOSING THERE SHIT OVER WHAT THE HUMANS HAVE PLANNED

[anotherbummer]

blah blah blitzø this stolas that yeah yeah we get it THE HUMANS CREATED A WORKING PORTAL TO HELL WHAT

[rustyironskillet]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”

[mylovesstuffs]

Little Hands, Big Hearts — Lee Seokmin

Genre: Non-idol au-ish, babysitter au and rom-com

Pairing: Seokmin × fem!reader

Content: Friends-to-lovers (?), babysitter & hot uncle, found family, single parent vibes (but he’s actually just an uncle), mutual pining, jealousy but cute, domestic fluff, protective love interest, small Joshua cameo (no dialogue), idol life elements (seokmin’s busy schedules), “i want to be someone important to you” confession

Word count: 2140 words

A/N: I actually had something else planned for his birthday, something much longer and (hopefully) better but Tumblr decided to be a piece of shit, and I physically cannot format it all in one sitting without losing my mind. So maybe next month (or the month after, knowing my luck). Anyway, when I realized mere hours before Dokyeom’s birthday, mind you—that my original post wasn’t happening, I had to speed-write this incredibly cliché thing instead. Am I satisfied with it? Absolutely not. Are we running with it anyway? Absolutely yes.

Huge, massive, life-saving thanks to @gyubakeries !!! I swear you are the only reason this got beta-ed last minute. I hope your pillows stay cold on both sides forever, your WiFi never betrays you, and you obliterate your exams. Ilysm, truly. I was fighting for my life with this schedule, and then Tumblr came in and delivered the final boss battle. But anyway happy belated birthday, DK! May your high notes always soar, your jokes always land, and your days be filled with nothing but love and warmth. Love you endlessly, you absolute gem of a human being! 💛🎉 And sorry in advance for whatever this is.

Babysitting wasn’t exactly the most glamorous job in the world but it paid the bills. Plus, you genuinely enjoyed spending time with kids. That’s why, when your friend recommended you to a new client who needed an occasional babysitter for his niece, you said yes without hesitation.

What you didn’t expect was that the ‘uncle’ you’d be working for was Lee Seokmin, the bright, cheerful vocalist of SEVENTEEN.

The first time you met him, he nearly tripped over the couch trying to grab his niece’s stuffed bunny before she could burst into tears. His energy was exactly what you imagined from someone who spent most of his time performing on stage.

“Hi! I’m Dokyeom,” he said, flashing a beaming smile that was so radiant it could rival the sun. “Thank you so much for helping out. I’d do it myself, but—”

“—You have a busy idol schedule,” you finished for him.

He blinked. “Yeah…exactly.”

His niece, Hana, was an absolute angel. She had his same bright smile and she grew fond of you immediately. You spent the next few weeks looking after her whenever Seokmin was busy with schedules and little by little, you saw different sides of him.

He wasn’t just the loud, happy-go-lucky guy everyone knew. He was also a doting uncle who could lull Hana to sleep with soft hums of ‘Circles’, and a surprisingly good cook when he had the time.

One night after a particularly long day, Seokmin returned home just as you were tidying up Hana’s toys. He let out an exaggerated sigh and collapsed onto the couch, covering his face with a pillow.

“Long day?”

“You have no idea,” he groaned, voice muffled. “But I kept thinking about Hana and—” He hesitated. “—and wondering if she gave you a hard time.”

You smiled. “She was great, as always. Though, she did insist I tell her a bedtime story about ‘Uncle Min and the Princess.’”

Seokmin peeked out from behind the pillow, eyes twinkling with interest. “Oh? And what happened in this story?”

You shrugged, playing along. “Well, Uncle Min was a very silly prince who made the princess laugh all the time.”

“Sounds accurate.”

“But then he got lost in a giant castle of laundry and the princess had to help him find his way out.”

Seokmin laughed, sitting up. “Okay, that part is true. My laundry pile is terrifying.”

The conversation melted into comfortable silence, the only sound being the soft breathing of Hana sleeping in the other room. After a moment, Seokmin glanced at you with a thoughtful look on his face.

“You’re really good with her,” he said softly. “I—uh, I really appreciate you.”

You felt warmth creep up your neck. “It’s my job.”

“I know, but…I think Hana really loves you.” He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I can see why.”

Your heart did a tiny flip at the way he looked at you, gentle and sincere. You quickly busied yourself with putting away the last of Hana’s toys, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way your face heated up.

Maybe Hana wasn’t the only one growing attached.

The weeks turned into months and before you knew it, babysitting Hana had become a regular part of your life and so had Seokmin.

You didn’t realize when the small moments started meaning more, when you started looking forward to his late-night returns just to chat about your day or when you found yourself laughing a little too much at his terrible dad jokes. Seokmin was always there. Bringing you snacks before he left for work. Texting to ask if Hana was behaving. Staying up an extra ten minutes just to keep you company before you left for the night. It was easy. It was natural. It was dangerous.

Because one evening after you put Hana to bed, Seokmin walked you to the door like he always did but this time, he hesitated.

“I, uh…I have a day off tomorrow,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hana’s been asking to go to the park and I figured…maybe you could come too?”

You blinked. “You want me to come? You don’t need a babysitter tomorrow.”

“I know,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “But I thought it’d be fun if we all hung out together. Y’know, as…friends.”

Friends. Right.

You ignored the way your heart did a stupid little flip and nodded. “Okay. That sounds fun.”

-

“Push me, push me!” she squealed.

You laughed, helping her up. “Okay, okay! But what about Uncle Min?”

Hana turned to Seokmin and pouted. “Uncle Min is too slow!”

Seokmin gasped-pouted. “Betrayal! How could you?”

Hana just giggled and you couldn’t help but shake your head. “She’s not wrong, though.”

Seokmin narrowed his eyes at you. “Oh, you’re in trouble now.”

Before you could react, he scooped you up, yes, actually lifted you off the ground and spun you in a circle.

You shrieked. “SEOKMIN! PUT ME DOWN!”

“Nope! You insulted my speed, now you must pay the price!”

Hana clapped her hands, cheering. “Again! Again!”

When he finally set you down, you were breathless from both laughter and the way his arms had felt way too strong around you. It was hot.

"You’re absolutely something else,” you muttered, smoothing your clothes.

Seokmin just grinned, completely unfazed.

The day continued with moments like that, Seokmin challenging you to silly races, losing horribly at rock-paper-scissors to Hana, and stealing your ice cream just to see you pout and somewhere in between all the teasing, the laughter, and the stolen glances, you felt something change. Maybe it was when Hana fell asleep in your lap during lunch and Seokmin just sat there watching with a soft unreadable expression. Or maybe it was when he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and said, ‘You’re really amazing with her. She adores you.’

Maybe it was just him.

And you were starting to fall.

You should have known that nothing could stay simple when Lee Seokmin was involved. Seokmin wasn’t just ‘Hana’s uncle’ anymore. He wasn’t just the funny, sunshine-filled idol who stumbled into fatherly duties with zero experience but a whole lot of love. He was…Seokmin. Your Seokmin. (Not that he actually was. But he could be. If only you were brave enough to admit what you were feeling.)

One evening after another long day of babysitting, you found yourself lingering. You weren’t sure why, because Seokmin had already come home, Hana was fast asleep, and yet…you just didn’t want to leave yet.

Seokmin sat on the couch, running a tired hand through his hair. He looked exhausted—schedules had been brutal lately but when he saw you standing awkwardly near the door, he smiled anyway.

“Leaving?” he asked, voice soft as usual.

“I…should,” you said, shifting on your feet but you didn’t move.

Seokmin noticed. Instead of saying anything, he patted the empty space next to him, an invitation. You hesitated for about three seconds before giving in.

As soon as you sat down, Seokmin sighed and leaned his head against your shoulder. Your heart nearly stopped.

“Just for a second,” he murmured, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. “I’m too tired to sit up straight.”

You should have told him to sit properly. You should have shoved him off before you lost your mind. Instead, you sat there frozen, too aware of his warmth, his scent, the soft rise and fall of his breathing.

“Hey.”

You hummed in response, too scared to actually speak.

“I was thinking,” Seokmin said, voice still quiet, still sleepy. “I like spending time with you. A lot.”

Your breath hitched.

“You’re great with Hana,” he continued, eyes still closed. “And I always feel better when you’re around.” He suddenly sat up and faced you, his expression unreadable. “And…I think—” He swallowed. “I think I—”

BANG.

A loud noise from Hana’s room made both of you jump apart.

Seokmin was on his feet instantly. “Hana?”

The moment was gone.

He rushed to check on his niece, leaving you sitting there, heart pounding, mind racing, stomach doing cartwheels. What had he been about to say? And why were you so scared to find out?

A few days later, you were out shopping when you ran into your ex. It wasn’t a big deal. Really, it wasn’t.

He was just some guy called Joshua from years ago and the relationship had ended on neutral terms. He saw you, waved, and you exchanged some small talk before parting ways. Simple. Harmless. Totally normal. But when you got back to Seokmin’s apartment, you knew something was off. He was acting weird. Not his usual ‘I just tripped over air’ weird. Weirder. Quieter. Sulkier.

And then as you were helping Hana with her drawing, he suddenly blurted out, “Who was that guy?”

“What?” You blinked animatedly.

“At the mall,” he said, not looking at you. “I saw you talking to some guy.”

Oh. “An ex,” you said simply. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

Seokmin nodded slowly, lips pressed together. “You seemed happy talking to him.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you…jealous?”

“Me? Pfft. No.” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “Why would I be jealous? I mean, we’re just—you’re just—”

You waited. He struggled.

Finally, he groaned, rubbing his face. “Okay. Maybe I’m a little jealous.”

Your heart did a very unhelpful little flip.

Seokmin exhaled and looked at you. “I don’t want to be just ‘Hana’s uncle’ to you,” his breath caught. “I want to be someone important to you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “The way you’re important to me.”

Silence. Your brain screamed at you to say anything but before you could, a tiny voice interrupted.

“Uncle Min,” Hana said, tugging his sleeve. “Stop making her sad.”

Both of you turned to her.

Seokmin paled. “I—I made her sad?”

Hana pouted. “She looks like she wants to cry.”

You did, honestly. But not for the reason she thought. Because finally, finally, you had your answer.

You swallowed hard and forced a smile, ruffling Hana’s hair to distract yourself. “I’m not sad, sweetheart. Your uncle just…surprised me.”

Hana looked between the two of you with that suspicious little squint of hers. Then she sighed dramatically, shaking her head. “Grown-ups are weird,” she muttered before skipping off to continue coloring.

Seokmin chuckled but when his gaze returned to you. “Hey,” he said. “Are you okay?”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. ���Yeah. Just…processing.”

Seokmin nodded slowly. “Take your time.”

And just like that, he gave you an out. No pressure. No expectations. Just him, waiting, hoping. Maybe that was what made you nervous the most.

-

A week passed and things were almost normal again. Except now, you were hyper-aware of everything Seokmin did. It was getting too much so when Zhang, one of your childhood friends, texted you out of the blue asking to catch up over coffee, you jumped at the chance. It was not a date and you made that very clear. But Seokmin didn’t get the memo.

When he saw you getting ready, actually putting in effort, wearing something cute, doing your hair, he panicked.

“Where are you going?” he asked, pretending to be casual about it.

You glanced at him. “Just meeting a friend for coffee.”

Seokmin squinted. “A friend?”

“Yeah.”

“A male friend?”

You smirked. “Why does that matter?”

“It doesn’t,” he said too quickly.

You bit back a laugh. “Seokmin. Are you jealous again?”

“No.” He crossed his arms. “I just…I just think you should be careful! What if this guy has bad intentions? What if he—”

“Zhang is married,” you interrupted, amused. “To a man.”

“Oh.”

You grinned. “Were you about to ask me not to go?”

He opened his mouth, closed it, then groaned, rubbing his face. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” You patted his cheek. Big mistake.

Because the second your fingers touched his skin, he grabbed your wrist, holding you in place. Your breath hitched. For a moment, neither of you moved. Neither of you breathed. Then, softly, so softly you almost missed it, Seokmin said, “If I asked you out, would you say yes?”

Your heart literally stopped.

He was still holding your wrist, thumb brushing absentmindedly against your pulse. If he could feel how fast it was beating, he wouldn't have to ask anything.

Slowly, you met his gaze. “Would you actually ask?”

He didn't say anything at first but responded a few seconds later, “Maybe.” His lips twitched. “Depends on if you’d say yes.”

You exhaled a laugh, shaking your head. “You’re so dumb.”

“And you still haven’t answered.”

You rolled your eyes but your smile gave you away. “Yeah, idiot. I’d say yes.”

Seokmin beamed. “Cool, cool. So, uh…” He cleared his throat. “Wanna go on a date tomorrow?”

You grinned. “Yeah. I do.”

⌦ 🌻 © mylovesstuffs | est. 2025. thank you for reading—your reblog means everything. until we meet again, stay cozy and keep dreaming! ◜ᴗ◝

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

some days are harder than others - Jack Hughes

Word Count - 1.8K

Summary - Today is the anniversary of losing your favorite family member suddenly. Your solution push everyone away and pretend that today doesn't excist.

Warnings - talks about the grieving process and mentions losing an aunt.

Author's Note - Today is actually the anniversary of my Aunt passing, she was one of my favorite humans and I think I wrote this to try and get some feelings out and processes my overall emotions about today. My heart goes out to anyone who can relate to this piece of writing because it sucks having to live life without your favorite human by your side anymore.

Masterlist

Today is a hard day, it’s the anniversary of when your favorite family member passed away. Waking up in bed you were grateful it was a Saturday and you didn’t have to take off work because there was no way you were going to leave your bed today. All you could do was try to wrap your brain around the fact that an entire year has passed - 365 days - since one of your favorite human beings left this earth.Wishing for nothing except to wallow in your own pity for the day, but you knew that your boyfriend Jack would be here soon since it was Saturday. Every single Saturday consistently coming over after he was done with the boys at the gym. But you didn’t want Jack to come over today, you wanted to be alone. Jack and you have only been dating for 6 months and although he has heard stories of your aunt he never met her. Today was meant to be a day for you to mourn the person you lost and the fact that she never got to meet the love of your life, or be at your wedding, or meet your future kids. Jack is a great guy, but you feared he wouldn’t understand why you were upset about the fact that your aunt never got to meet him. Finally looking at your phone since you woke up, your eyes barely focusing on the time 10:33 AM, before closing again out of pure exhaustion due to crying so much the night before, the warmth of your sheets helping the lure of sleep claim you once again. 

Opening your eyes again, waking up the banging of someone at your door. All you wanted to do was crawl further under your sheets and hide from the world, play pretend where your aunt was still alive even if your brain only believed it for a few seconds. But the banging continued, you knew Jack wouldn’t stop until you got up and came to the door or he got tired and used the emergency key you gave him last month. 

“Y/N! If you don’t come soon I will use my key!” he threatened. 

Shit I should have timed giving him that key until after today, you thought to yourself. Well since he plans on using it no point in me getting up. Pulling your comforter over your head, completely continuing your attempt to hide from the world around you. Taking a deep breath, as you heard Jack’s voice loud and clear along with his footsteps now. 

“Baby where are you?” he asks, his footsteps getting closer to your bedroom. It would be so simple to use your voice and tell him you were in your room but your voice felt raw with the tears streaming down your face thinking about what you were doing this time a year ago. 

Finally making his way to your bedroom, the door creaks as he opens it. “Y/N? Are you asleep, love.” he whispers, and it causes your voice to crack and a loud painful sob to be unleashed.Still hiding under the covers you feel the bed dip, meaning that Jack must have sat on the bed. The assumption you made, confirmed to be true when you felt his hand slide up and down your body trying to bring you comfort even though he didn’t know what was wrong. “Baby you’re scaring me, did I do something wrong?” his voice slightly creaking, suddenly your stomach dropped out of guilt for making Jack feel even slightly insecure. 

“Nnn - no.” you answer once you stop yourself from crying so hard. Your voice scratched as your throat burned from all of your tears. 

“What wrong babygirl?” he whispers scared if he raised his voice any louder you would start crying uncontrollably again. Slowly lifting the comforter off of you trying to catch a glimpse of your face. He swears his heart cracks a little, and his stomach drops when he sees how puffy and red your eyes are from crying, even though your hands are still covering most of your face. “Please tell me what I can do?” he begs. 

“Can we cuddle?” you ask weakly, Jack’s face grows a full toothy grin at your request. 

“Of course baby.” he gently says as he pulls the covers back to slide into the bed next to you. Jack laying on his back as you intangible your legs, half laying on top of him as your ear is pressed up against his chest, finding comfort in listening to his steady heartbeat. Jack lets you both lay there, he doesn’t speak, one hand playing with your hair, the other under your shirt lightly scratching your back. After a few moments, your body starts to relax for the first time that day. Closing your eyes allows yourself to be comforted by someone for the first time that day. 

Jack must have felt your body relax, sleep calling your name because the last thing you heard before you fell back asleep was him whispering in your ear. “It’s okay baby, I’m here, I’ll be here when you wake up.” Feeling a gentle kiss on the crown of your head as you felt your body fully drift asleep. 

Jack was true to his words, because the first thing you felt as you woke up was his grip on you and the first thing you heard was his little snores in your ears. Slightly moving to try and get a little more comfortable because your body felt glued to Jack’s, your arm was pinned under his back and it felt like pins and needles. Trying to get out of his grip must of been enough to stir Jack awake. He turned his body to the slide and slowly opened his eyes gently. 

“Hi baby.” he whispers, sleep still clear in his eyes. 

“Hi” you whisper back, finally getting your arm free and bringing it to lay between you and Jack. 

“Can we talk about why you were so upset earlier?” he asks gently, taking his arms pulling you a little closer to him. 

“It’s just what today is. That’s all ” you admit shyly. Jack’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion as a slight frown gets put on his face. 

“And what’s today?” the curiosity and confusion laced in his deep voice still covered from his nap. 

Taking a deep breath through your nose and out your mouth preparing to speak out loud for the first time today, what got you so upset. “Remember how I told you about my aunt, the one who helped raise me, one of my favorite humans.” You pause waiting for Jack to acknowledge your words, once he needs you to continue. “ Well today is the one year anniversary of her death and I just -.” Your voice cracks as the tears start again. 

Jack pulls you even closer, your head finding its home in the crock of his neck. “Shh it’s okay baby you don’t have to say anything else. It’s okay to miss her, I know you loved her by the way you still talk about her, it’s alright baby.” His voice is soft and free of judgment. “Shh it’s alright” he coos to you. 

Staying in the crock of his neck, you move a little so you can speak. “It’s not just that Jacky. It’s that she was the most important person in my life for so long and such a big part of my life. I never thought there would be a day where she didn’t meet the love of my life or be at my wedding or be at the hospital for a child's birth. God how I wish she was still here” 

Jack held you while he heard you talk out all of your thoughts and feelings. “But even more I wish she would have met you before she left. The things I would do to have one last phone call with her, one last hug, one last time she tells me “I love you, be a good sweetie.” The tears now blur your vision as you close your eyes and hide in Jack’s neck again. He squeezes you until it’s hard for you to breathe but somehow that brings you comfort as you let yourself grief your best friend. 

“I am so sorry for my love.” he whispers. “And I’m so sorry I didn’t know what today was, I would have skipped the gym. And I know she meant so much to you. It’s normal for today to be hard. I wish I could have met her too but do you remember how we met?” he asks. 

Now it was your turn to be confused, removing yourself from his neck and wiping your tears off your cheeks. “Yeah of course I do.” you mumble extremely confused about what the anniversary of your aunts death has to do with how you met Jack. 

“Well I remember seeing this pretty girl at this little restaurant eating by herself.” Looking into your eyes as he starts to tell the story of how you two met. 

“Jack, I know how we met. What does that have to do with my aunt?” your annoyance is clear in your voice as he chuckles. 

“Well it was after your aunt had passed, you were at her favorite restaurant because you missed her and it was her birthday that day, her first heavenly birthday. And for some reason some restaurant that had been on my list to try since I moved to Hoboken I just happened to walk in that day.” he starts rambling and you really don’t understand where he’s going with his story. 

Sighing you ask “Jack, what’s your point?” 

A smile on his face, “my point is that for whatever reason I felt like the universe told me that day to go to the restaurant and you just happen to be there even though it was way out of your way on your drive home from work. And I know I never met your aunt in person, but maybe just maybe your aunt was watching over you that day and that’s why I felt the need to finally go to a restaurant that I had been meaning to try for 6 years.” 

A large smile comes across your face as you understand his words, “Are you saying my aunt sent you to me?” a giggle coming off your lips. 

“I’m not saying anything except that I know that somehow your aunt is still watching over you. There is no way that you can love someone the way you describe her love for you and not watch them and look after them in heaven baby.” Slowly coming down to kiss your forehead. 

“I love you.” you whisper. 

“I love you too, and you know grief isn't a simple baby, it’s okay that some days are harder than others.” 

“I know.” laying your head on his chest again. 

“What do you wanna do for the rest of the day baby?” he asks

“Can we just watch her favorite show and order takeout?” 

“Of course baby anything you want.” he whispers as he grabs the remote from the bedside table.

[blue-slxt]

Imagine petite!human reader literally being used as a living fleshlight😩

Like she’s so small she can just be lifted off the ground and pounded🥴

Honestly don’t even care who it’s written for feels like a Jake, lo’ak, or quaritch kinda senecio

Sincerely, a no where near petite girlie

Thank you so much for your patience. I've been working on like a million different things at the same time so I am so behind on requests. But I looove this idea. Something about just being manhandled however your partner wants you to be is so fucking aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh😩! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this.

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Smut under the cut.

“Make sure you don’t break my bed with your big ass.” You playfully scold Lo’ak while pulling on your spaghetti strap shirt. He flops his entire body weight onto your bed making it creak. It was times like this when you really took note of just how big of a size difference there was between you. Of course, the Na’vi were much bigger than average humans already, but you were even on the small side for humans. Watching how his body can’t fit properly on your bed while you could be swallowed whole by your sheets and blankets never ceased to amaze you. He waves you off with a ‘yeah, yeah’ while he makes himself comfortable putting his hands under his head. You roll your eyes at him and start to search through all the DVDs you have for something for you two to watch.

“What are you in the mood for this time? Something funny? Romantic? Dramatic?” you fire off the different genres as you toss aside disc after disc.

“Hmm…” he dramatically hums thinking about his answer.

You don’t bother to look at him while he mulls it over and you continue searching. You faintly comprehend the sound of him shuffling and moving around behind you, but you pay it no mind until a pair of big hands find their way on your small frame. Lo’ak’s lips brush lightly over the back of your neck and it almost tickles when he speaks.

“I think I’m in the mood for something sexy” he presses kisses onto your neck and shoulder.

“You are so corny” you say with a laugh, but you still lean into his touch anyway.

“Just put on whatever. I’d rather watch you anyway.” His low voice in your ear makes your nerves come alive with this intense fluttering all over your body. His impatience is rubbing off on you so you hurriedly throw whatever you can reach into the player without really bothering to look at what it is. Once the movie starts playing, you turn around to face Lo’ak and he immediately swipes you up off the floor and your legs lock around his waist while he presses his lips to yours. Holding onto him like this gives you the perfect feel of his cock straining against his tewng and poking you right between your legs. Clearly, he can feel it too from how his hands hold your hips and grind you down against him. Every move brushes against your covered clit and gives you small tingles of satisfaction, but it’s not enough. He’s got you so riled up now that you decide to have a little more fun and push his limits. On any given day, Lo’ak could, and would, fuck you until your body felt like jelly. But on occasion, he would lose himself and by the end, even your brain would feel numb and fuzzy filled with nothing but him possessing you completely. That’s exactly what you need right now.

Without warning, you unfold your legs from around him and let go completely dropping to your feet on the ground. His puzzled expression is nothing short of adorable.

“Shit, I just remembered that I have a report to finish” you say walking over to your computer desk and sitting down.

“Babe, you have got to be kidding me right now.” You were never one to deny Lo’ak what he asked for. Ever. Not even when you would join the clan for communal dinner and he would pull you off into the dark out of view of everyone else.

“It’s only going to take a few minutes, Lo.” You say sitting down and pulling your hair forward and exposing your neck. Lo’ak groans behind you. You know how much he loves when you present your neck for him to mark. He’s starting to catch on to your little game. If he wants it, he’s going to have to take it.

“If it’s only going to take a couple minutes, then do it after” he says pulling your chair away from your desk and over to the bed. He spins you around to face him and heat settles between your thighs at the way he’s eyeing you right now. “I need you, mamas.”

“You’re doing a whole lot of talking and yet, I’m still fully clothed” you say with a sly smirk.

He chuckles lowly to himself, “oh, you are asking for it.” In one swift motion, Lo’ak pulls you onto his lap by your waist. Your hands brace against his chest to keep yourself from flying forward. His face settles in the crook of your neck and he nips lightly at your skin making you jump.

“Now, am I going to have to rip these cute little shorts off of you or are you gonna behave and take them off yourself?”

“Don’t…I like these ones.” You whine.

“Then get rid of them. Right now.”

You shift yourself around so that you can maneuver out of your shorts while he pulls his tewng to the side to expose his thick, hard cock that was already leaking precum from the tip.

“Already so hard, love. Is that for m—”

“Don’t try to get cute with me” Lo’ak cuts you off by grabbing you by your waist and slamming you down onto his dick in one quick snap.

It feels like an electric shock is shot up your spine and goes straight to your head being immediately filled to the brim. He gives you no time to adjust before he’s fully lifting your body by your waist up and down on his cock.

“Ah! Fu-ck! Lo-ak!” Your words and breaths are broken from how he’s making you bounce on top of him.  

“Shit, your pussy is so fuckin perfect” he says through gritted teeth.

His big hands on your smaller frame completely take control of your movements and you have no choice but to let him have his way with you. His dick continues to bully its way into your tight cunt and kiss your cervix making your toes curl.

“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum inside of you, mama. You want that, hm? Want me to fill you up?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell from the look in his eyes and his laser focus on you how close he really is and how badly he wants to give you everything.

“Yes, yes, yes, please Lo’ak!” your vision is already starting to spot as you near your own high while he keeps using you as his own personal fuck toy.

“Hng, shit!” he bucks his hips up to match the way he’s moving your body for you a few more times before the heat of his cum starts to fill you from the inside out. It sends you over the edge into your own orgasm and your pussy clamps down on him even tighter if that was even possible. Lo’ak sucks in a sharp breath feeling how tight you are around him and his forehead falls forward onto your chest waiting for you to stop milking him for all he’s worth.

His hands finally let go of your waist and they fall to sit on top of your thighs while you both try to catch your breath.

Suddenly the TV booms from across the room, “I am Bruce Almighty! My will be done!” making both of you snap your head in its direction.

“What the fuck movie did you put on?” Lo’ak laughs breathlessly.

“I have no fucking clue and I kind of don’t really care” you laugh equally out of breath. “But it looks like we still have some time before it’s over…” you lightly suggest.

He already knows what’s on your mind and a devilish smirk crosses his face.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Teen!Reader finding Alastor all beaten and bruised after the finale and getting worried, insisting in patching him up, etc, while Alastor during the entire time is having a moment of realization like "oh, this kid ACTUALLY cares about me"

(This is platonic obviously, reader sees him like a weird older brother/father figure and looks up to him idk)

I love it. Simple, enjoyable and to be honest, we’ll just pretend Alastor had his sick solo in the finale before we showed up and I suppose Al will be quite unhinged and aggressive in this state so goddamn. Also, my second time writing about the finale

Platonic! Alastor- Reaching Out

“You son of a bitch, I am trying to help you!” You growl out, now half-wrestling with the Radio Demon himself, after his lose battle against Adam. Whilst Adam has been finally defeated at Lucifer’s hand then killed at Niffty’s knife. It’s clear as crystal that Alastor isn’t taking his own defeat well at all. He’s aggressive, completely lost his usual charismatic, well-mannered demeanour, he’s breaking down and barking at you to back off as you’re still trying to pry his own hands off the visible red bleeding wound over his chest

You’ve found this retreating deer out of pure luck and now, you’re acting on your compassion for him to try make the process of healing less painful for him

You’re the only Hazbin Hotel staff member that actually treated Alastor more than an annoyance standing there. He isn’t the best guy at there, never. No, but he isn’t as bad as Vaggie or Husk claim he is. However, right now, he’s boiling your blood with how much he is refusing to let you even touch him, despite the fact he needs to be patched up. He’s low on power, his cane is snapped in half, he’s limited and requires help

“I don’t need your help, Leitora!” Alastor barks back in possibly the most unhinged way you’ve ever seen, basically backing into a wall. He can’t even notice how worried you actually are, how you’re getting frustrated because you’re worried and you’re the only one who has been looking for and have found Alastor whilst everybody else is celebrating the victory over Adam. You’re the one looking for and now looking out for the man you actually find quite nice. He isn’t as patronising to you, for whatever reason, Alastor’s decent and it’s almost like he wants to be some type of figure in your life with how he behaves

“Stay still before you bleed yourself to unconsciousness, you narcissistic edible piece of shit!” You only say this so cruelly, sharp and half loud as to put Alastor into his place, prove to him you’re not backing down whilst you finally win the half wrestling session you have with the weakened and distressed Overlord, already beginning to check around for the entire length of the wound and use what little excess fabric your current clothing has to make a makeshift bandage for this wound

This is surprising, you’re possibly two times his age. A teenager, if not 15-16 at the oldest upon your human death and you’re acting more mature than the biologically 34 year old. Alastor just stayed quiet, tall fluffy deer-like ears still pinned back and suffering through the intense pain. He wouldn’t admit that he is quite grateful that somebody is around but at the same time, he doesn’t want to get attached to any soul

It took him a proper glance at the cute young sinner he found it fun to playfully tease, mock and behave like a clingy overprotective big brother to piss off, that they genuinely care for him. That they aren’t lying or pretending as to get something out of him like he suspects everybody in the Hotel, including Charlie, is

This is so much different than he suspected, he was believing he’d be going back to his radio tower to vent out his rage at being smacked in the face of such a pathetic opponent

Ending up being the pathetic opponent. He hates showing his weakness and he can barely keep himself from snapping but he also can feel his racking nerves ease up a bit at this strong, confident yet sweet and compassionate kid trying to take care of him when they have no actual requirement to do so

Alastor takes a few more seconds to think and speak, not even realising he was sat down by you as he was thinking frantically about how his own mischievous and mocking behaviour as some type of surrogate brother for you was more than just something down to see your reactions for his own amusement, he does feel some type of family-based affections for you

Now, that affection has been bumped up even more. He definitely owes you a lot for caring about him like some surrogate little sibling when all he does for you is annoy you. He doesn’t even know that you actually look up to him like some type of family figure… so, the familiar feelings are mutual

“Fuck… can you just be careful with the coat? This is my treasure”

(A/N: Real quick. Leitora means ‘Reader’ in Portuguese, this’ll be our name for any none anime posts. There’s two versions; Leitora as the feminine version and Leitor as the masculine version. You can use either for us! I got this from Google Translate)

[heartfullofleeches]

[mentions of food play, (male) lactation if you squint, Alien being Alien]

Alien and [ vaguely implied to be amab] cow/bull darling- Alien breaks into the farm Darling works/lives in to mingle with the cows as any extraterrestrial allegedly would. Unlike the aliens of those tales responsible for butchering cows or turning them inside out, Alien just thinks they're really cool and wants to take one home with him so they don't have to buy milk from the store. Alien picks up one of the cows, eager to ask the owners how much they'll be willing to sell it off for - scaring the daylights out of the farm hand who ventured out to see what all the ruckus was only to witness this lanky beanpole pick up a full grown adult cow like it was a sack of flour. Alien quickly notices them due to the flashlight pointed at his back and the frightening farm hand losing their shit trying to call down the rest of the herd. He hurries over to meet them and get his new pet home.

"Yo! How do much you want for this one"

"um.... I don't think any of our cows are for sale.."

Straining their eyes under the harsh glare of the flash, Alien sees smaller characteristics on the handler they hadn't noticed before - small horns atop their head, a swishing tail. Even the pattern of their pjs-

"You a cow too?"

"Well, not exactly, but in a way I guess-"

"Then I guess I'll take you. Wouldn't be my first time kidnapping another human- plus you're cuter and smaller than this one meaning you're easier to carry anyway so that's a two for two, baby."

"...huh."

Alien sets the bovine on the soft grass before picking up the handler and throwing them over their shoulder- sprinting off into the night.

In my fics cows of any gender are able to produce milk, but I feel Alien would favor a certain kind of milk from his cow. One Darling has run out of milk from their tits, Alien dives between their legs to drink and drain their other source of "milk". Darling watches in horror as Alien uses their "milk" in their morning cup of coffee. They didn't even drink coffee before meeting darling, they're just finding any excuse they can to beg darling for more their cream.

-

[Cow Darling sells milk and other dairy products from the farm at a local farmer - skin glistening with sweat as their breathing grows more ragged between sentences]

Cow Darling: T...t-thank you for you purchase.... H-hope you enjoy your...ahh

[Cow Darling trails off as their head hits the table, knees buckling as they whine - gripping at the table clothes. Alien crawls from under table shortly after, wiping their mouth clean and placing a cap on the small bottle in his hands. They help Darling stand - making eye contact with the customer they were helping.]

Alien: Don't give me that look- I'm shopping same as anyone else in this damn place. How the hell am I supposed to eat my cereal if I don't have any milk?

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My chronic pain disabilities (hip fuckery; migraines) do not stop me from working. It doesn't mean I should treat my disabilities with less respect than disabilities that DO make it impossible to work.

When my endo pain was at its worse, I did all the things I was supposed to do--according to HR--to protect my job. I filed ADA paperwork. I communicated when I used it. I had the doctor's note. Etc.

Two days before my hysterectomy, I got a call from HR. "Oh, we're not sure we'll have work for you after you recover."

Which, first of all, is fucking illegal to say to someone who has ADA paperwork in place with you.

And, second of all, you're a fucking liar. I was the ONLY tech writer in a company of 500 people. Don't bullshit me.

I should have filed a complaint and sued the fuck out of them, but all I wanted to do was be able to possibly get out of pain and not have to worry about my paycheck after that. So, I called someone else in the company who I knew would lose his shit if I told him I'd basically just been told I had no work to do.

Two days after surgery, I had an email from HR to my personal account. Which, technically, they ALSO should not have used to contact me while on medical leave that was--like my disability paperwork--100% lined up and signed off on.

But the HR person wanted me to know that "Oh, looks like there IS work for you! Lol! Didn't know!"

This is bullshit. She was very aware.

Years later, I'm at a much better company. My supervisor, who is nothing but supportive, recently floated that it might be good to have ADA paperwork in place for my migraines because they flare during stress, which is the time I'm needed at work THE MOST.

No shit: I went into hard shutdown for about two minutes after he said it. It wasn't a threat or a dismissal of my migraines. It was him going, "Oh, hey, so no one can ever try to use them against you to say you're bad with stress, you might do this."

But all I felt was how I was absolutely fucked over by a bad company because they said, "You need to follow these legal steps," and I did, and they still tried to get around them.

So, no, I'm not dealing with getting punished if I have more than 2k in my bank account. I'm not dealing with people touching me, or my assistive devices (I don't currently use any). I can park anywhere in a lot and walk to the store entrance. But I was disabled, and I AM disabled, and I have had people try to punish me for existing in a body that just fucking HURTS because it HURTS.

It's Disability Awareness Month. I am disabled. Less so than I was ten years ago, which is a fucking stroke of luck. But also my right hip has started to go now, and who knows what the next 10 years will bring.

It's Disability Awareness Month. If someone says, "I'm disabled, and I want to talk about my experience," please pay attention and listen and learn and understand there's all sorts of ways disabled people are fighting to be treated with basic human dignity and under the basic rule of law.

[luvvixu]

a/n: you guysss!!! crazy idea hehhehwhe (pretend that i didn't have mind over matter series that i need to finish and a special chapter for the end) i was actually on a half way through of full long aaa oneshot of vampire!reader and painter!gojo which was settled during renaissance era. so the story goes like...

vampire!reader who loves fashion so she bought a lot of clothes, beauty products (makeup in modern terms), jewelries, mirrors—just anything that could make a lady more pretty.

vampire!reader who cares about her looks, mostly on her face, but is insanely frustrated because she's a vampire, she cannot see her reflection in the mirror. that is why she never used some of her beauty products because she could not see herself.

vampire!reader who once asked for help from her people to put those products on behalf but it got stopped because she couldn't even see herself, so what's the point of it anyway?

vampire!reader who met painter!gojo who was trespassing her property and wandering outside her manor. he got caught and soon she found out that he's a painter and was actually looking for a muse.

painter!gojo who was scared of meeting an actual vampire but soon vanished when he learned that she's far different from those hostile and ruthless vampire rumors.

painter!gojo who thinks vampire!reader is the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. but he's sad because she didn't believe that fact because of her being unable to see it for herself.

painter!gojo who soon finds a way to make her love herself—he uses his talent as her mirror.

painter!gojo who spent sleepless nights painting vampire!reader from a different angle so she could see what she really looked like.

vampire!reader who was really moved by the paintings and couldn't help but to fall in love with a human who showing his talent, effort, and pure dedication. but she chooses to force herself to push painter!gojo away because she cannot be with a human because of their big difference. immortals cannot be with mortals.

vampire!reader who has serious attachment issues and is scared to witness her loved one taking its final breath—she is going to be alone once again.

painter!gojo who feels the same way, he actually loves her more than she does to the point that he believes he can break the boundaries.

painter!gojo who is willing to do everything just to be with vampire!reader. so, he beg to make him like her—he asked her to turn him into a vampire so they could both live forever.

vampire!reader who absolutely despised the idea, fearing that she could lose him during the process. but painter!gojo refuses her refusal and is determined that he is going to make it. however, if he only knew…

a/n: i might post this one sooner since i'm only half way through and still figuring my way out of the story. but for the mean time, i am going to finish the mind over matter series first because shits are about to get real on that one!

anyway, i'm sure i'm gonna finish this one. so, comment = added to taglist, if you want some updates (if i cannot add you to the taglist, just follow me and it can notify you when i post)

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[qqueenofhades]

The thing that confuses me about the "don't vote" left (not the "I don't want to vote", I'm talking explicitly the "don't vote" left. I don't agree with the "I don't want to vote" left either but I can understand their logic) is they lose me at the final step of the logic. I've tried to connect the logic here, even if I don't agree with a political position I do try to understand where people are coming from (empathy for someones situation is not the same as cosigning it), but I just can't connect the dots here in a way that isn't deeply cruel. Does United States politics prioritize the lives of those in the US (and often white) over those in the Global South? Yes, it's a fucking atrocity. We should continue to make noise about it, cus Biden has used less drones and that shows progress, even if it's not enough. The part where I lose the plot is where the conclusion to this injustice is to let even more people die? Cus that's kinda how I see the idea of not voting: I can pick between shit and more shit, and at the end of the day, I'm picking whoever allows the most people to make it to the next day. Given Trumps stance on everything but specifically climate change, I feel like Biden is pretty significant harm reduction.

I don't think both things can't be true: that every life lost is a travesty we should not forget AND the more people we can save is worth fighting for.

The thing is, I have seen nothing among the "don't vote" far left (and I am talking here specifically about the people who both loudly announce their intention not to vote and try to convince others to do the same) to convince me that they actually care about harm reduction or stopping genocide. They only care about what makes them look the most Correct and/or superior to the Democrats. They yelled bloody murder about Obama using drones, they went dead quiet about Trump using them even more (even when he nearly started WWIII by assassinating the Iranian general Soleimani with one), and then said nothing at all when Biden reduced the drone program to almost nothing and withdrew the US from a failed war in Afghanistan it had long ago lost. Now they will yell all day about Israel/Hamas (something that Biden did not start and has had no direct military role in responding to) but they don't care about Russian genocide of Ukraine and Syria, Chinese threats to invade Taiwan, etc, because those governments are "anti-western/anti-American" and therefore should be defended. Their opposition to human suffering is extremely conditional and rests on whether they can look good out of it, and they never interrogate the hypocrisies of their own ideology.

Likewise: every country in the world prizes its own citizens above those of other countries. It's just a basic fact. Yes, the US has a grim history of intervening in other countries and causing untold civilian damage (especially during the Cold War and then in post-9/11 War on Terrorism). Yes, that legacy is complex and needs to be acknowledged. But literally none of that will be fixed, not to mention all the vulnerable people in America itself who will be punished, by Trump getting into power again. Biden is not just a grudging "lesser evil," but has done a lot of truly good and helpful things, regardless of the Online Leftists' constant lies, misinformation, and misrepresentation. If you spend all your time announcing what a champion you are for non-American marginalised people and/or those undergoing terrible suffering, and then deliberately and knowingly adhere to a course of action that will increase that suffering tenfold not only for those people but your own neighbors, friends, and family, then no, I don't believe you are a brave champion of social justice. You just want to know what categories of people you can gleefully and righteously punish and make to suffer for not believing the same things as you, that makes you just as dangerous as the right-wing fascists, and I can and will call out your ass accordingly.

[ghost-bison]

Doctor Who: 1x08 The Satan Pit (2006) / 60th anniversary special 2/3 Wild Blue Yonder (2023)

I frankly love that parallel. One scene taken out of each of the two RTD eras.

First there's the colour palettes. You can see that they're polar opposites. RTD era1 was warm all the time as talked about in this post (which I love dearly, I keep referencing it in my posts), and then we have RTD era2, which has a more modern-looking, colder palette for science fiction.

But it's also a directing choice for the mood I think, cause on the one hand, we have Rose who, we all know, would even give up on seeing her mum again if it meant she got to spend the rest of her life with the Doctor (quite like Donna back in series 4 actually, who was very prompt to say she was going to travel with Ten forever). On the other hand we have Donna in 2023 who's now got a daughter and a husband and who hadn't even planned on doing a trip with the Doctor in the first place, let alone at the edge of the universe. I mean, they were just supposed to go see Wilfred! On one side we have Ten who's slowly recovering from the trauma of the Time War and falling in love for the first time in a while and re-learning that he deserves to be loved, too. On the other side we have Fourteen who, just as Donna put it, is "staggering", and as Fifteen said, is "running on fumes". He's got FOUR regenerations worth of trauma on Ten who was already struggling as it was with one (since the Time War I mean. Maybe two if we count Nine, cause who knows what he's been through between his regeneration and meeting Rose). Fourteen went through losing Rose, Donna, Amy, Rory, River, Clara, Bill, and he went through Pandorica, billions of years imprisoned by the Time Lords in his own personal hell, finding out about the Timeless Child, etc... and now, on top of everything, he's got to deal face to face with the guilt of what he did to Donna as she's been given back to him. Anyway, it's dark, when you think about it. No wonder the colours are so much colder in Wild Blue Yonder.

Then there's the music. In The Satan Pit, the soundtrack, The Impossible Planet, has a mystical quality to it. It's slightly creepy (I mean, it IS an episode about Satan), but it's mostly mysterious. Ten and Rose are only 500 years away from home. But in Wild Blue Yonder, Fourteen and Donna are 100 TRILLION YEARS away from home. The soundtrack from that scene, The Edge of Creation, isn't just mysterious, it's eerie and ethereal and perfectly encompasses what it would feel like to stand somewhere so impossibly alien it has become supernatural (if you can't tell I am obsessed with that track and episode lmao).

I love the contrast between Rose and Donna and the questions they ask. Rose's question is cute, she's like "I've seen it in films, is that it?", it stems from a place of curiosity, like she doesn't really realize the deep shit that they're in. She's just a kid. Whereas Donna's question, it stems from a place of dread: "Where's the light?". It almost has a "The Licked Hand" quality to it (if you don't know that story: the girl is scared, she puts her hand under the bed, her dog licks it. She goes into the bathroom, finds her dog dead in the tub, and written in its blood are the words 'humans can lick too').

Then, finally, there's the order in which things have been done: in The Satan Pit, Rose remarks they're "a long way from home". Ten takes a long look at her, and seeing that she seems a bit scared, he explains to her how long it would take to get home. In Wild Blue Yonder, Fourteen first explains to Donna how long it would take to get home, and only THEN, he takes a long look at her, and finally Donna says "that's my family, over there". It parallels Rose's sentence in the sense that they both talk about home and how far away it is, but they use different words for it with a different meaning behind. Donna is more specific on what she'll be returning to when it's over (her family), whereas Rose, who isn't as grounded as her, just says "home" (which, for her, probably just means the place she grew up). I also love the contrast between Rose's "a long way" and Donna's "over there". The first implies foreign, the second implies close enough to see. What's interesting about this bit is Donna is further away from home than Rose is, geographically speaking. But for Rose, Home is actually the Doctor, just him, so she has no problem saying she's "a long way from home" since she doesn't mean it in the same way Donna would. So for Donna, when she says "over there", it's because the Home she's talking about is closer to her heart, and she's probably trying to reassure herself that she'll see her family again (I used to do something like that when I was in primary school, I'd travel all the way back to my house in my head to kiss my parents on the cheek because I was so homesick).

So that's that I guess

[lycankeyy]

Jesus Christ these doodles already feel so old . I was not lying I really am using this fixation to speedrun learning to draw humans LMAO. Anyway I made some of those silly "understand ship in 5 minutes" memes with my Favorite pairings in funkycule au not ALL of them just the ones that I brainrot hardest about. If I did one for all of them we'd be here all day I'd probably hit image limit it's called the funkycule for a reason

ANYWAY infodumping/details under the cut:

BF/GF/Pico:

I am a "BF and GF are Fucking Tall™️" truther because it's funny to me. With BF it's harder to tell because his posture is absolutely atrocious but GF is just So Fucking Tall

I'm going to be honest with the gender headcanon for BF. I guess I default to him being transmasc but I can see him as. Like. Anything. In fact I think he's just every gender. But I'm a coward so he's transmasc for the purposes of the chart. GF is a girl but identifying her as "cis" or "trans" doesn't mean much when demon genders don't really work like that. It's complicated. Pico is just a guy

Pico likes being the big spoon because he likes knowing that his partners are safe. However GF likes being the big spoon More. The result is Pico Sandwich. He will never admit it but Pico feels the safest he ever has in his entire life when he is being Pico Sandwiched

BF is very much a verbal affection type of guy. Yes he is nonverbal. His words of affection are various dubstep noises. His partners appreciate it so much

BF grew up kinda spoiled and never really learned how to cook. However after noticing that Pico is like extremely bad at feeding himself (canon six pack means nothing to me. That boy is skin and bones I won't be told otherwise /silly) he for the first time managed to convince himself to try it and he got Really into it he's actually good at it. He still loses his mind when GF makes him pb&j sammiches for dinner though it's his favorite thing in the world

Pico is Insanely overprotective mostly because he's extremely hypervigilant and sees potential danger in everything. BF is the exact opposite and even in situations where he's in immediate danger he'll be ironically more worried about Pico getting too worried about it. GF is also pretty ditzy about this due to her confidence that her boys can handle Anything but if either of them ever got hurt she would explode everyone in a 50 mile radius with her mind so like that counts for something

Random headcanon: the group's favorite date night activity is looking up an extremely bad movie and then commentating over it like old-school rage youtubers the whole time in an effort to see who can get the others to laugh the hardest. BF wins often because the flatness of the TTS voice he uses adds something to the humor of it

Pico/Darnell:

I kinda bounced around with what label to use for Darnell for a while. I definitely see him as arospec, with the stipulation that he does feel romantic attraction just like very not traditionally and after a Long Time. After going between quoiromantic and demiromantic for a bit I landed on grey bc it's open-ended enough to encompass it. The point is it took Darnell like 3 full years to realize that his feelings were less platonic than he thought and even then theyre still like. Only half-romantic lmao

Unfortunately as he cannot provide the Pico Sandwich Darnell is getting little spoon'd by a guy nearly a foot shorter than him. F

Pico and Darnell are pretty verbally coarse with each other in a way only people who've been through the amount of shit they have been together can be w/o jeopardizing their relationship. That being said they often express affection and insane amounts of trust through actions very frequently, sometimes even without either of them realizing. Them immediately making up after weekend 1 was one of those times lol

I put Pico on the "squashes the bug" end of both charts but in reality I think he just takes them outside unless it's like a gnat or something. Darnell isn't scared of bugs he just wonders what would happen if he set one on fire. Pico refuses to let him set them on fire

Even though Pico 2 is in a weird limbo state in funkycule just like it is irl, there's still some point in the timeline where Pico expressed protectiveness over Darnell, to the point where, years later, when Darnell heard Pico took down a whole army for BF and GF, he got jealous, because that was supposed to be their thing >:(. This was quickly followed by his Oh moment

Random headcanon: Pico and Darnell had been acquaintances for the whole time they were in school together, but they became friends when Pico (and Nene by proxy) were the only kids to continue hanging out with him after The Class Presentation Gone Wrong (Darnell Plays with Fire). To return the favor, Darnell stuck by Pico even after the events of PS fundamentally changed him as a person. Though their relationship can be messy, they've been virtually inseperable since.

Nene/Cassandra:

The levels of toxicity of this are mostly dependant on When in the timeline by the time these two are like 21 they've normalized a bit dw lmao

Okay so like. I've made so much Lore. For Pico's School. For no reason. Anyway penilians have nothing against child soldiers so Cas was shipped off to infiltrate Earth at the penilian equivalent of 13. Also while on a surface level she's transfem in more depth it's like "all penilians are One Sex and have One Gender so technically she is xenogender, using neopronouns, and if you want to be extra silly with it, by the time she's 19 she's functionally alienkin but for humans as a coping mechanism for being banished to earth (dw abt it)"

[Projects my trauma and its side effects onto Nene] who said that

I didn't think much on the borrowing clothes thing until I realized that I draw Nene and Cassandra wearing the same style of turtlenecks I was like. Do you know what would be really funny

I don't have many intimate cute headcanons for these two Yet because I'm so early on in developing my shit and these two are Not cute at first. However I do like to imagine that Nene calls Cas all kinds of over-the-top cutesy or stupid nicknames just to get a reaction out of her. She called her a "vixen" as a furry joke + something between a compliment and insult once and she almost died

Nene is literally the only one in this entire cast who's never gotten her license suspended also she's somewhat good at car maintence which Cas find inexplicably hot

Giggles and kicks my feet at putting both Pico and Cassandra at the far end of the overprotectiveness spectrum. Anyway

Random headcanon: in the short period of time before Cas started ghosting Nene and FNF happening, they were in contact for One Christmas when they were like 15. Nene got Cas a cute little switchblade with hearts carved into the handle. Cas keeps it in a box by her bed and refuses to let anyone touch it or to let it ever get dirty.

If you have read this far I love you. Here is your reward should you choose to accept it:

[adragonsfriend]

Sith! Obi-Wan: Is it even possible?

Sith! Obi-Wan is such a fascinating concept to me, because it’s so unlikely. Like frankly it feels even less likely than Anakin’s redemption, and that redemption being so incredibly unlikely but still possible is literally the thing that makes the OT so powerful. Like it’s baked into the premise.

And Obi-Wan falling can’t be impossible, because that would take all the narrative power out of him always choosing good. But like, this man has literally had everything happen to him, and he doesn’t turn. He has moments where he has to recenter himself, but he always does it. He’s such a wonderful balance of “constantly looks like hot shit” with “but on the deepest level of his soul he’s untouchable.”

It should be impossible.

But I believe it at every turn.

People aren’t fucking around when they describe him as one of the best Jedi there ever was.

So I am fascinated by the idea of a Sith Obi-Wan, because what could possibly turn him?

Not torture, not loss, not grief, not losing his padawan, not having to fight his padawan, not beliving he’d killed his padawan, not finding out he didn’t kill his padawan, not watching over that padawan’s kid for twenty years, not death, not war, not walking away from Satine, not Satine dying in his arms, not losing Qui-Gon Jinn, not Dooku’s best efforts at temptation, not the genocide of his people, not being set on fire, not the existence of the Death Star, not twenty years of being a hermit, not Melida-Daan, not whatever Xanatos was doing, not every atrocity the Empire ever committed,

But it can’t be impossible, because he’s still a human, he’s not the Force itself.

I’ve read some Sith Obi-Wan fics, but they’re all either unconvincing on this point, or have to resort to saying, “Obi-Wan is a Sith but he’s not evil,” as though that isn’t the contradiction of all time (No shade to these fics, not everything needs to be perfectly convincing, and I’m not against writing a character in a certain way just cause of the aesthetic. I know how to use the back button; I kept reading cause I enjoyed them overall).

I just.

I don’t know. Do people have ideas? Theories? Fic recommendations?

Cause my only idea is an Obi-Wan who has literally never heard of the Jedi and was raised from an infant as a Sith and barely resembles the Obi-Wan we know at all.

[untoldstar]

gn! vampire x gn! reader who doesn’t gaf

Vampire who’s honestly sick of humans at this point.

An encounter with a human is just insulting to them. They’re a bloodthirsty predator who have been feared for centuries and now when they corner someone to drink their blood instead of a look of fear they get..pure delight?!

Peoples minds have been so washed by movies that they have lost any sense of self preservation. Instead of screaming for help they get giddy and excited. They’ve even encountered one person who purposed an arrangement of combining sex and feeding.

They obviously killed them after that and they didn’t even get their fill. After hearing such a thing you kind of lose your appetite.

One night they stumbled across you. Walking all along in the dead of night. No passing cars no witnesses..it’s almost too easy.

Eh they’ll try their luck. If you turn out to be annoying they’ll just snap your neck.

They drop down on you and corner you in an alley way smirking when they hear your heartbeat picking up. They force your head to the side and bare their fangs, their breath a chill fanning across your exposed neck.

“Silly human..Wandering around so helplessly, it’s almost as if you want me to feast on you.” They pause waiting for the usual breathy excited response.

They’ve come across people who go to deserted areas late at night on purpose hoping to stumble upon a hungry vampire. Those idiots don’t realize there could be humans who are far- far worse than vampires lurking in the darkness.

You sigh and their ears ache as they remember all the responses they’ve gotten over the last decades

“Can you not? I literally just got laid off my job. On a night shift too! Couldn’t fire me before I spent an entire night there?” You huff “I just really can’t do this tonight.”

Their eyes widen and they whip their head up with complete bewilderment all over their face “..What did you just say?!” That..was the last thing they were expecting to hear from a human.

Yes they always expect the usual excited responses. Of course there’s the terrified ones and even though they’re few and far between that doesn’t mean they’re completely crossed off the equation. But this..whatever it is you’re doing right now they weren’t expecting it.

What they didn’t know is that similar to themselves you were honestly done with the bullshit of everything. You couldn’t give a single shit what happens to you anymore. The economy sucks, the planet is dying, people have become desensitized and apathetic. Honestly either you go first or the planet does whichever goes quick.

But tonight was just really not it.

You wince “Also, I wouldn’t recommend my blood.” Valerians frown only deepens “My bloodwork is terrible. Honestly, I think it would have the opposite effect on you, I’m only saying this for your safety.” Valerian hisses “My safety- What are you blabbing about human?” They sneer “My immortality does not mean I am patient.” You huff and look around before going to pull your phone out of your pocket “Wanna reschedule?”

Valerian have never had an encounter as strange as as this one. How refreshing~ Perhaps they’ll run into you again, until then..they have to find their next meal.

part 2

How valerian was looking at reader the entire conversation:

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.