#AM I SELFISH???? WHATS HAPPENING

[arobarbie]

tell me about aro cat valentine

HI OK SO IVE BEEN THINKING™

her and robbie had such an interesting dynamic. she was so into him and he really liked her but at the same time she fucking avoided him like the plague !!!! she’d just RUN at the first sign of affection!!!!!! she hasn’t had any romantic anything other than him, unless u count that one guy she was into that said he was only into blondes.

but like, her and robbie r so interesting. it never struck me as a case of her wanting to be with him, just her enjoying the feeling of being wanted by him. she actively avoided a relationship with him, but she fucking seethed when he had his eyes on anybody else. i think she hated the idea of a romantic relationship but perhaps had some other specific attraction to him (could be sexual, alterous, sensual, or generally queerplatonic etc) that still made her romance repulsed. or maybe she wasn’t attracted to him at all.

robbie being into her made her feel good, it made her feel special, and that was enough for her. there’s no real evidence that she herself liked him. just the feeling of being wanted was more than enough to keep her going, leaving robbie confused as to why she’d keep running away at anything ‘more.’

[ranna-alga]

"Do the Evolution" - Pearl Jam

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

"BPD makes you have low self worth" well apparently not because my brain still insists that things that have nothing to do with me surely are because of me :/

[huellitaa]

i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn

[autumnrory]

i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve

but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie

[venusvalhalla]

I've seen a lot of people speculate that Olrox will keep helping the protags and maybe even join the mc group in season 2 but I have not seen anyone wondering if he'll actually just keep working for Erzsebet. and maybe even become a new Drolta or something. like what if Mizrak's cruelty hardened his heart. what if he just goes full evil

[littlefankingdom]

Me: People who hated Jason Todd did so because he wasn't Dick Grayson, so they were people who were attached to Dick and have spent years reading his adventures as Robin. That means they were probably older teenagers at least, but probably adults. The DC writers themselves, who are adults, hated Jason and wanted him to die, because of their love for Dick. Therefor, people who liked Jason the most were young people, of the same age as him. He could have been their friend, they saw themselves in him. In posts online where people ask why some voted for Jason to die, young people (at the time) explain how they didn't think it was possible and cried afterward, which really show their ages. We can also bet that the people who wrote to DC about how sad they were that Jason died and how much they cried are also young, teenagers or maybe younger. Jason was them, he was their age and their friend, their hero. But the older generations didn't care about what Jason represented to these children, didn't care about the pain Jason's death would bring. Their nostalgia had become hate, it blinded them. The only thing that mattered was that Jason needed to be gone. It was never going to bring back Dick, which is reinforced by him refusing to come back as Robin when Tim asked him after Jason's death, nothing could do that. But they refused to accept it. Poll clerk: Miss, this is a polling station for the French legislative elections... Me: And yet, older folks still let nostalgia blind them to hate and vote against progress, changes that are inevitable, harming in the process the younger generations and their future, even leading some to their death. Poll clerk: Miss, I must ask you to leave.

[verdantdaises]

Me: I wanna draw this scene from my fanfic

Also me: if I do that everyone will know who I am

[carnival-core]

Hey not to make a political post but does it ever feel like we can just never win and the suffering will be forever and we're always going to have to fight with moments of peace being fleeting and not worth looking forward to

[fridayyy-13th]

wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.

[ed89]

i was so funny during my byler phase whay happened

[himblebo]

I just want to be allowed to scream at my sister the way she screams at me. I want to be allowed to slam doors and throw things and break things. I want to be allowed to react to the way she treats us and not be called selfish.

[novadreii]

i can hardly put into words how grateful i am to have regained the use of my brain in the past 6 months or so. before that, i struggled with terrible brain fog that persisted for years, making me feel i had a fishbowl popped on top of my head 24/7. i spent what limited brainpower i had trying to root out a cause from my diet. but it turns out that the culprit was a lethal combination of unhealed childhood trauma, as well as the stress and chronic insomnia from being in a relationship with a neglectful and inconsistent partner.

did you know that stress and trauma physically shrink your hippocampus (responsible for learning, memory) and increase the size of your amygdala (responsible for survival and fear responses)? my hippocampus must have been the size of a fucking pea, and my amygdala a baseball. i was basically a feral cat.

since quite literally fleeing that situation, i've been militant about therapy and taking care of myself: exercise, eating right, 8 hours of sleep per night without exception, and keeping my stress low. contrary to all the advice i've ever received before my current therapist, aside from occasional socializing with my extremely small circle of family and friends (whom i love dearly and who've all really rallied to support me through the shitstorm my life was earlier this year), i've fully indulged my love of solitude and being a homebody.

that, instead of shaming myself and pushing myself to be social when i don't feel like it, which is often. my mother used to do that plenty when i was a kid, because as a giant extrovert herself, it pained and disappointed her greatly to have a daughter who preferred to read in her room all day. i've finally learned how to decouple my inner voice from hers and it has brought me the freedom to just...be who i am.

throughout all this i started noticing that i'd wake up with a clear brain, once in a while. it'd come and go at first, but now, as long as i keep to the regimen of caring for myself like i am my first priority, a concept apparently completely foreign to me up until recently, the clarity is here most days. i'll have an occasionally foggy day, but it's usually easy to trace the cause to shit sleep or food.

the ability to not feel like i'm existing behind 2 inches of foggy glass day in and day out is everything to me. to understand people as they're talking to me. to not have to read a sentence 10 times over to glean its meaning. to enjoy learning again. this used to bring me so much pain and sadness, feeling like i'd lost the use of what i consider to be my greatest asset, feeling like i'm stupid when i know i'm not. i have a bachelor's degree in business with straight As to prove it!

having to go through it and knowing that certain people in my life were not taking me seriously and thinking that i was just being lazy and unambitious. it made me want to fucking scream. but i never lost hope that just like most problems, there was a solution. i was just not seeing it. i needed a different perspective.

i'm currently taking an online chemistry class just for fun. next up is going to be "astronomy: exploring time and space", then probably a cyber security intro class and some data science classes to refresh what i learned in university. i'm having fun learning again!!!! i am quite literally crying writing this, because while i always remained hopeful, there was a small part of me that was scared that this would just be my life from now on. i'm so fucking grateful.

[jackass-jones]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[laughinglynx]

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[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.

vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍