#but the thing with that is the layer of complication in nico kind of sort of having hazel as a consolation prize when he couldnt get bianca

[bayetea]

I think that something to keep in mind about hazel is that in her first life sammy was the only person in the world who has shown her kindness. her mom was only ever nice to her when she was providing her with income. hazel is living in a society that considers her race subhuman and even members of her own community hate her because of the rumors about marie. she isn't just ostracized at school she's explicitly stated to have experienced violent bullying from other kids and yet she still protects them from being harmed by her cursed gems. she was neglected and abused by her mother and she still gives up elysium so that marie doesn't have to suffer in the afterlife. the very first time hazel retaliated against abuse was when she fought back against gaea - and her retaliation got her killed. her character is so effusively kind in a world full of hatred and injustice because she knows that she can't let herself succumb to bitterness like her mother

I think those months after her birthday when she was abducted to alaska are genuinely the absolute worst of her life specifically because she lost sammy, and his absence etched a crater-sized hole in her chest where his kindness once was. she can't get that from anyone else anymore. the alaskans don't welcome her and pluto can't reach her there and her mother is dying slowly right before her in an evil plot to destroy the world that she feels complicit in. genuinely her only option in this situation had always been to run away so that she couldn't be used as a pawn anymore, which she considered during those horrifying months but couldn't because gaea would retaliate against her mother. so hazel does what she always does: allows herself to suffer for people who have treated her poorly

and this post isn't about frank or percy but I think that this is something to contextualize as it relates to frazel and the percy&hazel dynamic. the foundation of her relationship with them is simply the mutual kindness and trust that they're able to develop in such a short time because they very quickly recognize the good inside of each other. hazel puts herself in harm's way to save frank and percy numerous times and it isn't one-sided like things were in her past life, they emphatically do the same for her as well. frank and percy show her how they care for her in ways that are so earnest and vehement (frank saying "we're not going to let you die again," percy saying "we're not letting anything happen to you", etc). as characters for whom the past is a source of conflict one way or another (hazel's blackouts and intense feelings of guilt over gaea, percy breaking down over his lost memories and getting triggered by things that conflict with his understanding of the world i.e. the evil centaurs, frank redeeming his ancestor's besmirched legacy and figuring out how to use the family gift), they readily offer kindness and understanding in the present without asking each other to suffer for it

and this is especially true of frank: by accessing hazel's blackouts and experiencing the events of her past life, he is sharing her heaviest traumas and burdens so that she doesn't have to experience them all alone. this burden-sharing is transitory; frank gives her his firewood, which is literally his life - and his life is the thing that finally grounds her. his life anchors hazel so that she doesn't get blackouts anymore (and he forfeits the weight of his heaviest burden to a person he can trust to take care of him). this thread of frank preventing hazel from being overtaken by adversaries of her past continues numerous times throughout son of neptune, most significantly when he shapeshifts for the very first time to save her from alcyoneus and when he comes up with the plan that gives hazel the chance to finally defeat her old enemy - and that's when she kisses him for the very first time. I consider this the very essence of their romance: reciprocation. it's not "you make me whole", it's "I love you and trust you to care for me as I care for you", it's "in being with you, I discover new depths within myself", it's "knowing you has given me the strength to grow"

so that's basically my favorite thing about son of neptune and I think a lot of people forget how intense the emotions in that book managed to get. it's not the most popular pjo novel but I don't think any other book in the franchise has evidenced how deeply three people who have literally just met (frank only knew her for 3 weeks pre-son) can touch each other's hearts by virtue of simply being kind to each other. like those boys LOVE hazel and think she's a wonderful person and express that repeatedly and I think that's just so sweet because she finally gets to have this in her second life. she really deserves to be cherished like that <- my longwinded way of saying that hazel was the gem all along, just like her mom finally realized in her last words before they died

[retributory]

Can you talk in detail about LBH and what your favorite things are about him?

second go at this because tumblr nuked it the first time. lol. sorry this is so long and unorganized and only a little answers the question this is more of a stream of consciousness nico inner monologue sneak-peek that is binghe themed.

1) just the concept of binghe is very funny and appealing. 2014 edgy mary sue half-demon big dick op sex guy emperor of the whole world domesticated by loser 20-something with a 10k karma reddit account. really good no notes.

2) i think a lot of people (even binghe fans) tend to unintentionally flatten him because it's actually a little hard to write him. the fact that for most of the novel you have a misinformed opinion of him based off of sy's meta-contextual knowledge of events that have not happened and will not happen within the current timeline means that it's hard to actually know binghe's deal the first time around. even after that you have to grapple with the meta-meta-contextual facts of binghe being an alternative version of a character within a character within a novel within a novel that is being affected by a 'real person' within the first layer of meta, but of course svsss being very much a story that is often about being a writer/creative that second layer is played with often . . . to put it lightly i think it's probably a contributing factor to both the fact that he's really controversial and to the fact that a lot of svsss meta can get really, really existential LOL. this is before getting into the fact that you're at minimum actually talking about two characters anytime you're talking about him, so . . .

3) the thing is that i think binghe (both) fans are often incorrect about him because he (bing-mei) isn't actually a puppy crybaby, he's just acting like one. but haters are also incorrect, because similarly he (bing-ge) isn't really a domineering evil emperor. putting aside the very complicated ideas we could get into re: are fictional characters the executors of their own actions when viewed meta-contextually, the fact is that binghe spends most of the novel playing some sort of role. which makes sense! at the time of sy transmigrating, (nominally) 14 year-old binghe has already lost his birth mother, been found in a river, lost his adoptive mother, been ritually abused by his peers in all settings, lived on the streets, managed to get into cqms just to be a scapegoat, been ritually abused by his shizun, etc . . . when sy uses the term 'white lotus,' it's not actually a compliment. it should be noted sy also knows that ultimately binghe is acting nice because he wants adults to treat him nicely, and he does not (yet) have any kind of power or authority to do anything about being treated wrongly. i think probably the first hint of binghe's real personality is when he leads off lmy because he thinks sy is staring at her - i don't think binghe is mean, but he isn't nice either. he's very jealous, he gets upset easily, he doesn't take issue with manipulating others to get what he wants.

(aside: even as a child, he has already very much formed the worldview that existence is transactional, something that is informed even more by sj's treatment of him. even though sy challenges that worldview, he doesn't get rid of it. all of binghe's love language is based around the idea of doing something for him; cleaning his house, making him meals, keeping him safe. naturally i think that's informed by the only affection he's received being at the hands of a woman who couldn't do much for him other than acts of service in the first place, but i also think that usefulness is a core tenet of what binghe believes that he and other people need to be.

i don't think it's controversial to say that bing-ge does not actually love any of his wives. i'd go so far as to say i don't even think he actually enjoys having sex with them - he is purely doing so to fuel xin mo, and would otherwise either not bother with them at all or kill them. being the wife of the Emperor of Both Realms is the transactional reward for providing him with no-questions-asked xin mo-feeding sex, of which he textually will just rape them if they don't agree. because bing-mei actually does love sy, i think he has to consistently challenge the idea of 'usefulness as a core tenet of a relationship,' which is one of the bigger problems they have to navigate).

very much a core part of svsss is that both of these people (sy and binghe) are. hmm. not the best people. bugfuck crazy actually. binghe puts on the waterworks because sy likes fussing over him like an overbearing mother, and while the underlying thing that he's having crocodile tears over really is bothering him a lot of the time, he's playing it up for puppy baby points. but that isn't his actual personality. his actual personality is when sy starts soothing him automatically when binghe gets the idea that sy may have been sexing lqg up in those caves. lmfao

4) speaking of, he's very easy to read as having bpd. i think other people are fully entitled to have their opinions on the matter but binghe's quote-unquote bad personality is majorly explained if you simply operate under the assumption that he has a cluster-b personality disorder (which are caused by childhood trauma, dontcha know . . .). it's easy to view his xin mo-induced catastrophic meltdown in vol 3 as splitting, and his constant back-and-forth of "shizun is the best person ever, shizun is an angel, shizun is incapable of wrongdoing" to "shizun is the worst person ever, shizun is cruel and unrelented, shizun hurts me on purpose" is easy to see as the sort of black-and-white thinking that bpd is characterized by. of course you can just think whatever, but i like to see it that way, especially because binghe is still seen as desirable despite his flaws, while any character that has or is implied to have a cluster-b disorder is usually treated as some sort of inhuman monster.

5) of course, backing off that, did you know i actually rarely like romance? for years i made a habit to intentionally avoid all romance novels because i disliked the genre out of principle. despite being largely into the shipping scene of any given fandom i was in, i both generally did not interact with other fans and also generally avoided anything romance-centric. i avoided mxtx's works (tgcf specifically) for years because i was quite convinced all romance was the same as the very very boring sort of stuff i had unfortunately read, where both the main character and the male lead are completely and utterly perfect and the only conflict is the fact that they aren't currently together. the only reason i read svsss . . . was because someone on my twitter tl at the time was complaining about it, and their complaints sold me on it because they (bq) sounded so weird. i read the entirety of it extras and all in 3 days. it sent me cartwheeling down a rabbithole of a genre i had FOOLISHLY written off. thank you binghe's terrible personality for saving me.

6) i also . . . am eternally enchanted by binghe's borderline horrific body. the satire of 'what does a perfect harem lead power fantasy stallion actually look like' kills me. when sy feels his abs and they're uncomfortably hard all the time . . . his actual literal horsecock obliterating sy's stupid insides . . . i think binghe has body dysmorphia but the opposite way around people usually have it. he wants a smaller dick and a less sexy body. i think he is trapped in his perfect stupid sexy body and it really kills me.

7) this is getting too long i think i have to shut up. my FAVORITE THING ABOUT BINGHE?? his personality. if you put a gun to my head. but he is so cutiebaby anyways. i understand sy completely; i also want to coddle and baby binghe when he does awful things. binghe would have loved puppygirl posting online . . .

[demigod-shenanigans]

Oh Thalia for sure is absolutely miserable about the whole thing. She’s pulled right back to when Annabeth went missing in Titan’s Curse. This is the second time she hasn’t been able to protect her, except this time there isn’t even a quest or a mission she’s supposed to be involved in that hints at where she might be. She’s just gone. Vanished overnight without a trace. And then finding out Jason might be alive? (And it’s always might be in her head, she doesn’t really allow herself to hope) Yeah, she’s having a Time about it all

Ooof, yeah, Percy would probably react poorly to the way Reyna is taking charge at camp—which is obviously just what she’s used to having to do, but she also handles a few things very similarly to how Annabeth would have, and he does not like it. Her being similar to Annabeth is probably actively a comfort to the campers who usually looked to Annabeth for guidance, and that’s super upsetting to him because it’s not the same!

I’m also very amused by the thought of Piper and Leo kind of beefing with Percy for a while because they’re annoyed he’s trying to start shit with Reyna when she hasn’t done anything wrong. Reyna herself doesn’t even mind that much because she also has a vague feeling that she doesn’t like Percy (due to him destroying Circe’s Island, which she doesn’t remember, but the bad vibes are still there). Anyway, I feel like they eventually sort this out by severely butting heads in combat training and coming out of it with a begrudging mutual respect lmao

Reyna wanted her memories back because not knowing terrified her, but the moment she gets them back she wishes she could go back to the day before, when things may have felt complicated, but not nearly as much as they do now. She’s been confused about her messy feelings for Piper for a while, but before knowing about the prophecy she was way more certain she could figure it out eventually, especially because Piper is super patient with her and doesn’t seem to mind her taking her time to figure things out. But suddenly she’s got memories of the Aphrodite prophecy and her unrequited crush on Jason and she’s pretty sure she’s never liked a girl before, so that’s several new layers of confusion to add to the pile. (Honestly, it might be good to send her and Nico to see Cupid together in this scenario. Maybe that finally helps her figure things out.)

And she likes Camp Half-Blood. So much. Which she feels awful about, because she’s got a prophecy linking her to a completely different home. Is she allowed to feel even semi-comfortable here? Is that a betrayal of New Rome? Is it confirmations of the fears her father had that led to the way he treated her and her sister?

Actually, speaking of the whole thing with her dad, I’m sure her learning what happened to Leo’s mom and all the ways thats still affecting him when she doesn’t have her memories would result in some… complicated feelings that she in no way understands.

Piper also has messy complicated feelings about the situation with Reyna because in her fake memories, falling in love with Reyna played a huge role in her realizing she was queer. So learning those memories are fake is really hard on her. Her feelings are still very, very real, though, and if nothing else it at least plays into her being very patient with Reyna, because she remembers—and she knows that part isn’t fake, even if the context was—how much of a mess it was for her to figure out her own sexuality.

Jason hates this job. He likes helping people. But he doesn’t like being in charge, and he doesn’t like that that’s what people always expect of him when they look at him. He actively joined the worst cohort and befriended the unpopular kids and he still couldn’t escape what his father’s legacy made him. But if the last few months have proven anything, it’s that he’s not cut out for this job. He can fake it for a while, sure, but he’s just stressed and miserable all the time. The only parts of this he liked was helping people and spending time with Reyna, but Reyna wasn’t there and he hasn't felt like he’s really been able to help anyone in months. He’d probably jump at the opportunity to join the quest and just get away from everything for a while, because he may be miserable as a praetor, but he’s good at the hero part of things. I’m thinking Jason probably takes Reyna’s part from the books, except he tries to deescalate the situation way sooner and then also dips way faster to help out, because at some point it clicks for him that maybe they messed up by assuming the storm or fire part of the prophecy is about Percy and Leo because there’s a decent chance the storm part might be him. Reyna and Nico take the Athena statue back to camp and it kills her not to be there for the final battle but maybe that’s part of her arc—going where she’s needed and realizing it’s okay to leave leadership to other people. She’s the one to build a bridge between camps, which started with her, but New Rome’s survival doesn’t fall entirely on her shoulders. She actively has to take the weight off and leave it to other people to save the world. And that terrifies her, but it’s also a hugely important lesson for her and makes it way easier for her to accept that she can find a home at both camps without it being a betrayal of her person or her beliefs or the prophecy thats haunted her her entire life.

Your Annabeth thoughts are making me weep, oh my god? All of that is so so excellent? Her questioning whether Percy would even like her back with her not remembering everything they went through is agonizing but makes so much sense because of how used she is to not being anyone’s priority. She can’t know she’s found that permanence she’s always looked for in him because everything about him just got ripped away from her, too. Nothing feels steady anymore, so she focuses on what she can control. And that’s the things she can fix at Camp Jupiter. She knows how to run a camp. She knows how to do quests. Hell, New Rome has so many buildings her little architect heart would probably love to take a closer look at and potentially find ways to improve, so that’s also super helpful for her to focus on.

The thing with her dad is heartbreaking. Because yeah, how would he know? Annabeth has been away for so many years, and almost her entire life still takes place away from him. But obviously she doesn’t remember running away at age seven. She doesn’t remember how strained their relationship is. She comes home without any of her memories, to a dad who can barely offer her any answers on things any normal parent should know. And she may not have her memories, but when she leaves feeling confused and hurt, she knows it isn’t the first time.

Thinking about a concept where Juno swaps Annabeth and Reyna instead.

Annabeth and Reyna are fine, because they’ve always been able to handle just about anything the gods threw at them. Piper accidentally has her gay awakening via fake memories of a relationship with Reyna and is really confused why her girlfriend is acting so weird. Reyna and Leo bicker non-stop because even without her memories Reyna knows what she’s doing and she’s very used to getting people to listen to her but Leo will not be serious for even one second.

Percy would start fist fighting the gods in the first week. Jason has never been more stressed in his life because he never even wanted to be praetor but it was manageable while he was doing it with Reyna and now he’s alone. What the hell is he supposed to do.

By the time Annabeth shows up at Camp Jupiter, Jason is so relieved someone knows what they’re doing that he immediately asks her to be praetor, now if she’ll excuse him he needs to go have an anxiety meltdown in a corner somewhere

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Okay, i kno you must got this question a million times. But seriously, what makes you think jensen and misha are (were?) together?

I do get this question a lot, but that’s okay-- I am always in the mood to talk about Cockles.

It is a lot of things. First and foremost, the assumption that people are “straight until proven queer” is frustrating. If I die and all the untold truths of the universe are revealed to me, and one of them is that Jensen and Misha are both 100% straight (I’ll be shocked but ...) I’ll accept that without issue. However, not only has Misha spoken openly about his polyamorous relationship with his wife and their female friend, but his wife also wrote about it in her book (meaning that Vicki is bisexual, so he’s obviously cool with the concept). He has also told many stories with implications of his intimate relationships with men. From his various stories involving Darius, to his college roommate, Nico who confessed his love for Misha, and the fact that Nico made that confession because he witnessed Misha and another male friend "spending the night” together in Misha’s room, therefore “he thought it was okay” to confess his feelings ... plus Misha’s support for the LGBTQ community, and his comfort with “joking” about being intimate with his male costars and friends, all make me think that the man is a Kinsey 4 at very least.

Now, as for Jensen ... he’s a little more complicated, a little more subtle, but the combination of so many little things, plus how he and Misha act around one another makes me think that he is also not straight, and he very much enjoys being not-straight with that Blue Eyed Cutie Patootie. From Jensen’s early days, cheerleading and acting in school plays in spite of being bullied, to his very non-traditional Texan affect, to his comfort level with being physical with the men in his life (caresses and soft touches, hugs, standing very close to one another ect) to how he sometimes speaks to them, the roles he took on -- soft, sensitive “boyfriend” roles in soap operas and teen dramas, to seemingly bi-sexual roles in movies (i.e. “Blonde”), to quirky-- very liberal roles across from his future wife, where he got to wear make-up and pro-feminist clothing, and nail polish (i.e. “Ten Inch Hero”) that he admitted was “fun” to act in.

He doesn’t seem to only want to portray the “manly-man” and as someone who’s grown up knowing a lot of Texans, that’s not a common mindset. As Jensen said himself in that previously linked clip-- sometimes people forget that he’s not actually Dean. He’s an actor and he enjoys looking in the mirror and seeing new versions of himself; but if he were that typical “man’s man”, a hardcore Texas cowboy who must remain stoic and rough around the edges, I don’t think he’d enjoy seeing himself differently. In contrast, just look at Jared (and this is not meant as Jared-hate). Jared is also a Texan, but he is WAY MORE like the Texans that I’ve grown up knowing. He’s a little cocky, has a frat boy sense of humor and basically plays the same kind of roles over and over. Yeah, he might be “the pretty boy” but he’s “pretty” to the average middle aged white woman. He’s the Fabio on the cover of romance novels. He’s built, and he’s “tough” and he’s not typically emotional unless he’s just lost the love of his life ... he’s played that character in basically every show or movie he’s been cast in, and I have a feeling he will always play that character. Why? Because that’s how he sees himself, and straying from that would be hard for him; and that’s totally fine! Again, no hate; but the fact that that sort of mindset is something I’ve seen a lot of in the “typical straight Texan man” and then the fact that Jensen is pretty much none of that, is telling. Yes, Dean is a bad boy and macho, but he’s almost a parody of that kind of guy. He is macho with a soft side, he is a deadly bad boy who is kind and soft with children and animals. He likes hardcore guy-movies and porn, but also watches anime and chick flicks. He is a walking contradiction to the typical male-ego normally portrayed in film, and that’s why his character is so intriguing, and that’s why Jensen is so intriguing because he always gives his roles layers and dimensions and nuance that go against what we normally see. And to act in those kind of roles, to bring them to life like that ... I feel like there has to be some truth to it. So, all this is to say that Jensen is not your “typical straight Texan” ... he is something different, something more, and that’s never more clear than when he’s letting loose around Misha...

His accent kink, flashing him, straddlegate, the looks, the anniversary dinner, the compliments, the valentine’s card, matching clothes and accessories, and so on and so on . Plus, there is how others react to them being around one another ... like Jared (for more, just search my shipper!Jared tag) and Ruth. It all points to something being different about Jensen and Misha’s relationship with one another. Jared and Jensen have a very typical older/younger brother relationship-- where Jared acts goofy and annoying and Jensen just rolls his eyes at him, until they can act goofy and annoying together against someone else (i.e. Misha or Alex) and then they’re a team. But Jensen and Misha have something else. There’s a fondness there. There’s adoration and acceptance and comfort and secrecy. They seem to live in their own, little world when alone-- and even when they’re not alone. They talk to each other rather than the audience if they’re on stage, and half of what they say is in hushed whispers and private jokes. They act exactly how my husband and I do when we’re in public. We both prefer each other’s company anyway, so the rest of the world just dissolves away. And that’s the main point I’m trying to make I guess ... Jensen and Misha act like a married couple. Not just in the bickering and silliness, but in the trust-- in the closeness, in the solidarity of their words and touches.

Jensen and Misha aren’t straight ... and they aren’t just friends.

They are “together” in whatever way you interpret that word, and I think that it’s one of the most precious things I have ever witnessed.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

Run Away from Your Problems Chapter 3

Nero x reader

Summary: Timeskips are fun

Word Count: 1241

The next five years saw many changes for the little group from Fortuna. Nero and Kyrie raised the orphans of the city together. Fights between them were common, but they stayed together hoping it would work out. After Nero’s arm got ripped off, Kyrie confided in Nico--who then promptly told Y/N--that she’d planned on ending things with him before, but thought he needed her support during such a traumatic time. Apparently, the redhead finally stopped denying that her feelings were more . . . familial than romantic; though, her kind heart kept her from risking hurting Nero for a long time. Little did she know but Nero had expressed a similar sentiment to Dante who in turn encouraged the breakup. Lowkey, he tried to steer the boy towards Y/N.

Dante and Y/N, however, also had a bit of an interesting history during that time. They’d grown close over the years until they were a combo of best friends and drinking buddies. Very rarely were they apart on or off the clock. A few times they’d entered the ‘fuck buddy’ territory when drinking heavily or if they really needed to blow off some steam. No emotions were beyond friendship were ever involved, but neither ever regretted hooking up. They were both adult enough to know nothing would come of it--even if it would be easier--because of the flame Y/N still held for Nero.

Speaking of Nero, that relationship was even more complicated. They were still close; they still talked on the phone every night. But things weren’t near up to where they used to be. He was still hurt by her leaving so abruptly, but he refused to talk about it under the guise of stating that she was her own woman that could make ‘her own fucking decisions.’ Most topics of discussion were easy, but relationship talk was strictly off the table. With the heartbreak she still felt about him and Kyrie and his feelings about how Dante wasn’t worthy of his best friend, the discussion was far too volatile to talk about civilly. 

Needless to say, it’d been an Incident when Nero first found out that they were prone to sleeping together. He’d come by the shop unannounced one morning to visit and was greeted by the sight of them naked and cuddling on the couch. Y/N was still asleep for the beginning of the altercation that followed, but she knew that Nero woke Dante up by grabbing a fistful of his hair and hauling him to his feet. The shop had needed some serious repairs after all was said and done.

That being the case, it was easy to predict that Nero and Y/N got into several literal fights before they finally agreed to stop mentioning it at all. More like she had to threaten Nero into finally dropping the subject, but he eventually agreed with one last statement of “He doesn’t deserve you.”

Truth be told, the figurative distance between them was one of the reasons he was on the verge of calling it quits with Kyrie. He wasn’t an idiot, contrary to popular belief; he’d noticed how things had changed once things became official with Kyrie. Granted, it hadn’t been difficult to figure out since Y/N literally moved away right after in favor of working as Dante’s partner. He missed having his best friend by his side, and it was becoming more and more obvious that it wasn’t worth it to be in a strained relationship that also strained that friendship. He wasn’t sure why it bothered Y/N that they were together, but the important part was that it did bother her.

In addition, anytime he saw Y/N with marks on her neck from an obvious night with Dante it threw him into a mood that he really didn’t want to think about too much while he was still involved with another woman.

So to say that everyone saw it coming when the two broke up after the whole Qliphoth thing would be an understatement of Hellish proportions. Which was how Nero and Y/N found themselves alone in Devil May Cry nursing some of the whiskey Y/N bought before the world went to shit. They sat on either side of Dante’s desk as they mused about the whole affair.

“You know,” Nero’s voice held an edge of laughter, “I think the craziest thing to me isn’t that Vergil is my father or that V was really just part of him . . . hell even that Kyrie and I are over. It’s that you’ve been fucking my uncle for the last few years.”

“Yup. Nope. That’s going in the ‘not thinking about it ever again’ drawer to die for all eternity.”

“I thought you didn’t regret it?” he teased, smirk firmly on his face as he leaned his elbows on the desk.

Of course, she had to rise to the challenge. “Oh, I don’t. Man’s a good fuck, after all. Hmm, now that I mention it maybe I’ll keep fucking him whenever he decides to crawl his ass back . . .”

“Y/N,” he groaned, head thunking onto the table.

“No, no, you’ve convinced me. All that running his mouth paid off in other areas; I’d be an idiot to let that go.”

“Y/N,” Nero’s voice was more warning this time. “I really don’t want to hear how good my uncle is at eating you out.” The pink tinge of his ears was impossible for Y/N’s eyes to miss no matter how hard he tried to keep the blush down.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” It was now firmly her turn to tease. “You jealous?”

At that, he could only stare. One thought raced through his head on repeat if he’d never thought it before: AM I jealous? All the times Dante seemed to push him towards Y/N seemed to suddenly make sense. Did he realize before me somehow?

While his world was tossed into a cataclysmic earthquake, Y/N was left staring at him in confusion. A couple seconds passed and she decided that it was probably something to do with Kyrie plaguing his mind; it’d only been a week or so since the breakup, afterall. That decided, his shock gave her the opportunity to really observe him for the first time since she left Fortuna.

The shorter hair looked good on him, and his features had filled out as he finished puberty. His outfit was an upgrade as well. It actually fit the shape of him rather than providing layers that killed the appearance of any natural definition his body had. Granted, that had sort of been the point since he was hiding his Devil Bringer, but it wasn’t good for the whole eye candy aspect. She supposed she had Kyrie to thank for the change.

Be that as it may, she reached for a new topic that would get his mind off of whatever was bothering him. “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you having a normal arm.”

That pulled a surprised chuckle from the man. “No? Why not?”

It seemed to work like a charm. “We spent years hiding your demon arm, then you got it yanked off, and then you had a robot arm! You having a regular arm is just too . . .”

“Normal?”

“Yeah! Ten years of weird arm? Hard to shake.”

“Fair enough. It’s been a weird couple months, that’s for sure.”

[1-mini-1]

Part 2: Highlights from Orangestar and M.B’s Interview from Mormon.jp

Orangestar is back and so I am with a translation! This section focuses more on their second album and the reasons behind his recent hiatus :) Here’s Part 1 and the original interview. 

Session 7: Simply

M.B: We have the opportunity to think a little more about our future works than before. Like the goal of our work.

Orangestar: Yes, like how there’s a lot to make progress on.

M.B: The conclusion we recently reached was, as expected, happy endings with simple things.

Orangestar: Yeah. I’ve always liked simplicity.

M.B: Things that appear simple on the surface have their deep parts. Our church teaches that too… simple is the truth, and I think that’s true because the world is so complicated. Eccentric ideas are increasing, chaotic ideas for validation are also increasing. So, like, the contents of those things are mostly negative, and society now seems like, hm, what is it, kind of hopeless I guess haha… It leaves the impression that this world is the worst. 

We agreed to base our goals on simplicity, but I think what we believe in is pretty big. Everyone can feel what is good, and that questionable things are questionable. But those questionable things are already overflowing in society, and I think that everyone has parts of themselves that are gradually growing numb. We want to help those that aren’t sure what is good clearly understand the good things that we know are good.

Orangestar: Also, I guess you could say that the amount of people that can or do listen to simple things will increase.

Orangestar: There’s the song I made recently, “Mawaru Sora Usagi”.

Orangestar: From beginning to end, this song is just a piano accompaniment with singing mixed in and, to me, I think the most simple you can get.

Right now, my grandparents live with us and when I’m making music, it seems like they don’t have a lot of interest in music in the first place. They still support me, but say things like “I don’t really get it”. But with “Mawaru Sora Usagi”, I make videos while playing the music out loud, and my grandma said, “That’s a good song,” for the first time. That made me happy.

M.B: Now that you mention it, the piano is the main instrument on your second album, right.

Orangestar: Yeah. I personally like the piano so I previously wanted to make an album with piano as the main; no matter who it is, the tone quality from a piano sounds “good” to everyone, doesn’t it?

M.B: That’s true, our music has changed quite a bit and covers a wider audience…

Orangestar:  Even though there was a lot going on for us and our direction was set, we couldn’t leave our work at that time. But deciding “to go simply”, we released our second album. Right now it’s #15 on Oricon, and #26 on the weekly ranking.

M.B: We talked about it pretty heatedly over Skype about direction we wanted to go, but there was also a pretty large component of us creating works as Christians.

Orangestar: The lyrics express Christian values with words that even the average person can understand. I think that the things my church teaches are probably ingrained in our bodies so I don’t think this was intentional. There were some parts that felt like a translation work.

M.B: Yeah, you’re right, there were.

Orangestar: Even on top of writing lyrics, having that (Christian values) in words that ordinary people can understand, show most strongly in “DAYBREAK FRONTLINE”. Up until now, these were the lyrics I thought the most about while writing them.

Orangestar: This is the song I’ve been wanting to talk about the most. After arriving at “simple is best”, and happy endings, I saw what we wanted to make most clearly. It wasn’t direct, but more like the sun…

M.B: The most striking factor is the character’s clothes. I was actually being pretty careful to not expose too much. I don’t think there’s any doubt that I probably drew unintentionally, simple and Christian-like clothes. I wonder if anyone noticed that, me included.

Orangestar: There was a lot of things that anyone could easily understand as a metaphor, like the lyrics and stuff. Because of this, the song I want people to listen to the most is “DAYBREAK FRONTLINE”. I feel like I made this piece finally reaching something I was aiming for.

Highlights from Session 8: Hiatus

Orangestar: Hiatus. Through my church, I’m going to serve as a missionary for two years.

(TN: Orangestar and M.B are both Christians and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Young members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have the opportunity to voluntarily serve as a missionary. The majority of them are ages 20 through 25, and many take a leave of absence from school after high school graduation and before college. Included in this, there are also young members who are separated from their home country and serve overseas.) 

I decided I would do that before I started being a Vocaloid producer. So rather than calling it a hiatus, it’s more like I’m temporarily returning to my original plans. Of course, my goal is to meet a lot of people and teach them Christian values.

After that, there is also the goal of temporarily taking a rest from my producer activities. I’m leaving behind a masterpiece that I feel sufficiently satisfied with, it’s a good place to leave off at, and my age is just right after I graduate high school (TN: The minimum age required for young men to serve a mission in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is 18). So by temporarily resting from being a producer, it also means that I can replenish my creative appetite. I also want time to take a step back and think about things carefully, so I guess, yeah, the goal for me taking a break from producing is to take a break from producing haha.

I also think that I’ll be able to talk to talk to people more easily and it’ll be mental training too. My older brother is doing the same thing right now, but it’s kinda like he’s inwardly changed; it really comes through in his emails every week. When I see how much fun it looks like he’s having on the pictures he attaches sometimes, I can’t help but think who the heck is this!? So. Yeah haha.

M.B: I’m excited for after these 2 years. I wonder if you’ll make more polished stuff.

Orangestar: Yeah, on another layer above making works, this is more like a training period instead of a break. So that I can make ever better pieces.

M.B: You’re going to be composing for the rest of your life, after all.

Orangestar: Yeah, I guess that 2 years isn’t much if it’s for that haha.

M.B: Rather, it’s because it’s a special experience. There’s things, like various perspectives, that can’t be gained otherwise.

Orangestar: Also, there’s the English. I’m going to a place in California called Riverside, but while I’m there, whether I like English or not, I’m going to be in an environment where I have to speak it. If it was just studying abroad, I feel like I would forget it soon haha.

Highlights from Session 9: The Origins of their Names, Summer, and the Future.

What does M.B mean?

M.B: It’s taken from a song a certain band sings. It’s an American band called The Killers, and the Vocalist is a Christian (TN: Not only a Christian, but also a member of the same church as Orangestar and M.B lawl). It’s from their major debut song, Mr. Brightside.

I don’t really know if it’s about the vocalists actual experiences, but there’s this couple that was dating, and I don’t know if the girl cheated or got married or something but the guy was really hurting during this. He had a lot of feelings like jealousy and anger, but he decided to look on the bright side. I think it’s a super cool song. Looking on the bright side is something that’s not unrelated to an ordinary life, stands out, or something that makes you a hero, but instead a small thing.

I say that a lot. I think that living in the real world has a lot of small walls, but I think it’s cool to go on living with that strong feeling. Not just with drawing, but I also applied that guideline to my personal life. I thought the song was cool so I took the M from the beginning of Mr. Brightside and the B from Brightside. In short, this me that’s called M.B, in art and as a person, includes the decision that I’m going to live with the kindness in my name. Haha, Orangestar, do you want to be exactly like your name?

Orangestar: Yeah, well, honestly, I always liked the word “imperfect” (TN: pronounced “Mikansei” in Japanese). It was at that time when I was thinking about what I should name the account I was making on Nico Nico, that the play on words (TN: 蜜柑星 literally means “orangestar” when translated into English, but is pronounced the same as “mikansei”, which is imperfect in Japanese) was in my head. I decided to make that my name. Although I didn’t really have the intention to work under that name. In the first place, I didn’t intend to sell it on Nico Nico (video); it felt like an obscure period. So “Orangestar” somehow came from the play on words I had in my head at the time.

M.B: Somehow haha

Orangestar: Well, in the first place at the time, “imperfect” wasn’t any sort of special word, then after I uploaded “Mikansei Time Limiter” and “Amekigoe Zankyou”. They attached meaning to the word “imperfect” and if you look at it with a Christian-like interpretation too, imperfection means that there is still room for growth, for forever right. I talked about it in some magazine interview, and the editor went ahead and attached a cool headline to it, so it’s like an “imperfect” that continues to evolve haha it’s cool haha.

So I was like, well I guess I’ll just go with it. Haha, but, it’s true that throughout life we continue to always grow. Yeah, the moment you think that you’re perfect, you stop improving.

Why do your songs have a strong summer theme?

Orangestar: I was born in summer and love summer. Doesn’t summer have the impression of being the most fun? Maybe it’s just me.

M.B: It does for me too.

Orangestar: It has the most exciting mental image. Seasonally.

M.B: The sun’s happy haha. Summer is the hardest for me physically but for pictures summer definitely has the best motif. Cumulus clouds make me feel really happy and the blue sky spreads out.

Orangestar: How to say it, I guess one distinct characteristic or something of M.B is that the way he draws the sky is, well he draws the sky well. Even on top of drawing skies, there’s just something special about the summer sky.

M.B: It’s exhilarating, isn’t it? Exhilarating and refreshing.

Orangestar: The summer sky is a symbol that’s easy to understand.

M.B: Yeah, even me, I can somehow feel the youth. Is there another reason we’re fixated on it hm… It’s because we like it haha.

Orangestar: Because we like it haha. So in conclusion it’s because I like summer.

From Here on Out

M.B: Animation has an amazing power. The character’s move and speak according to the music.

Orangestar: It’s that expansion of expression, right. Right now is different because for a complete form, we only release a video with a single illustration and music but, well, that’s one simple form and I thought it was a form that’s easy to watch on Nico Nico Video. Of course, for making works, there’s many different ways it can be presented, including animation. I guess, I wouldn’t quite say yet that I want to make animations like the one’s out in the world but I do want to present via animation. Although that’s an extension for now.

There’s movement in “Asu no Yozora”, and I definitely think it’s powerful. I want to make things with that feeling, but with a little more proper animation than before. Before that though, what should I say? I guess, talent, like those people that have the talent, people who have the same intentions as us. Right now we’re only working as the two of us, but that doesn’t mean we’re fixated on it being just us.

M.B: That’s true. If we had specialized people then that’d already enough.

Orangestar: If there are people that can move towards the same goals as us then we welcome it more.

M.B: Are you saying we should make an elite team haha. I wonder what we’d call it.

[boludosaires]

1/26/17: Radicalized

So if you’ve been following this blog at all, you know I’ve been super confused about the politics here. Peronismo, Kirchnerismo, Macrismo. I just haven’t really understand what makes up the “left” here or what “radical” means or who likes Macri and who likes Christina Kirchner and who doesn’t.

Well today, I met with Natalia, a woman I met at the Women’s March last Saturday who is part of a feminist political organization called Las Piqueteras (the picketers, part of a party called the Tendencia Piquetera Revolucionaria, or TPR), and she finally helped give me some clarity. Essentially, it was a 2 hour Leftist Politics 101 class, and it was dope. 

Granted, the real political landscape here is even more complicated than what I understood in my relative ignorance before. But at least now I can sort of say I’m starting to get it. Kind of. 

Honestly, there’s no great way to explain this to someone who hasn’t been here, but I’ll give you some bullet points to at least give a starting point:

 ·      Mauricio Macri, the current president, is very disliked by the political left here. He’s very capitalistic and big business-oriented, and many on the left think he has his business tied up with his politics (He’s been accused of offshore tax evasion in the Panama Papers). He is also very anti-abortion, and according to Natalia, is trying to imprison Christina Kirchner, the previous president, and other of her party in order to silence the opposition. He’s also buddies with Trump.

·      “Radical” here refers to parties on the right, who are aligned with Macri’s political coalition Cambiemos. So I can’t say “radical politics” with the same connotation. Instead, the proper term is “left”

·      The “left” here is very small politically. Natalia said out of 257 seats in the Cámara de Diputados (essentially the House branch of Congress here), there’s only like 4 leftist representatives. Despite that, she said leftists are very loud, both in politics and in political activism, while the right really doesn’t engage with grassroots politics

·      Despite being anti-persecution of Christina Kirchner and her party, Natalia definitely acknowledged Kirchner’s corruption and the damage she did to the country’s economy and poor population. So it’s heartening to know that the left doesn’t just blindly support her when I think it’s pretty clear she lied about poverty statistics, collaborated secretly with Iran to free the AMIA attackers, and has stolen money from the government.

·      The left here does support a lot of the same things the US left is about: abortions and reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, anti-femicide and domestic violence, worker’s rights and fair wages, and just general anti-oppression and imperialism. So that’s cool.

 That’s all I’ll go into for now. What I’m really excited about is Natalia invited me to go with them to some of their meetings, and also to meet their members that live in the villas, the poor neighborhoods of the city where they organize. So that should be super enlightening, and hopefully a lot less imposing than just going in as a journalist to write a story and then peace out.

 Usually I just focus on one thing per post, but I have to talk about my night too. I met up with this guy Pablo, a musician who my friend from Northwestern knew while he was here. He invited me to his apartment to play some music, and I knew dragging my sax down here was finally paying off.

The apartment was exactly what I would’ve described if asked to predict what the apartment of an alt-indie guitar player dude would look like. There were empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter, overflowing ashtrays, a Grateful Dead tapestry on the wall, and a Nintendo 64 with Super Smash Brothers in it under the TV. I met his 3 other friends he was playing with: Nacho the synth player, a big dude with glasses and a brown frizzy beard that attached to his sideburns, Lelo the drummer, a tall guy with two tattoo sleeves wearing a red Arsenal soccer jersey, and Nico the guitar player, skinny with glasses and one of those solid-colored t-shirts with a pocket on the left breast. 

Pablo himself was also super skinny, with a poof of brown hair and a scraggly beard patched around his chin and jaw. He also has these teal green-blue eyes that give his whole face this young, bright look, like a pixie or elf or some other happy and mischievous mythical creature.   

They were all super welcoming and when we started playing together, it just jelled like jelly in a jelly jar. They have sort of a Foster the People meets the Flaming Lips meets Beach House vibe that I really liked, and they were so open to me just jumping in and having fun with my sax, which was dope because I was a little afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up with them musically.

After we played, we drank some beers and chilled on Pablo’s balcony until they decided it was time to take me to the “best pizza in Buenos Aires.” So we drove to this place called Pin Pun Pizza, which just had a counter, a bunch of standing tables, and some booths in the back. Their infamous special? 2 slices of cheese pizza or 2 empanadas plus a beer or other drink of choice for 65 pesos, aka FOUR DOLLARS. And despite the pizza snob that I am, I have to admit, this pizza was glorious. 

The crust didn’t even matter, which is not something I’d say often. But the main event here was all about the cheese. Imagine a layer of mozzarella so thick that when you bite down, your front teeth are almost completely immersed in cheese before you finally hit bread. And what’s more, the mozzarella is slowly overflowing off the sides of the slice, melting in pretty little puddles onto the plate and stretching like silly putty when you try to pull it off.

Tomorrow, Pablo invited me to their show, where he claims he’s gonna invite me onstage for a guest sax appearance. So I’m stoked.

Needless to say, I went to bed a happy happy boy.

 <3 Escoot

 Palabras Nuevas

·      Se pego un palo- car accident

·      Chocha- happy

·      Cavar- to dig

·      Becario-intern

·      Respaldar- to back up (support)

·      Inmobilario- real estate

·      Ociosa-idle

·      Bajon-munchies food

·      Volado- high

·      Cheto/a- a rich man or woman in Argentina, usually young with fancy clothes who like to shop, go to nice clubs, and take Snapchat selfies