#A bit too much to just be a vent post. Lmao.

[frost-felon]

On Takaba VS. Kenjaku:

Very fun fight, creative reality-warping based on thoughts and feelings of the participants. A complete breath of fresh air compared to earlier fights, like Gojo VS. Sukuna, Yuki & Choso VS. Kenjaku, and Megumi VS. Reggie Star. Although I didn't like the actual fight of Hakari VS. Kashimo, this chapter definitely harkened back to what Hakari VS. Kashimo did right with characterization and tone, except this proved to be way funnier and more entertaining, whilst exploring both characters' philosophies (more akin to Hakari VS. Charles, in that sense). I really enjoyed seeing Kenjaku be more open with themselves (such as revealing how much they knew about comedy over the past few decades), as well as their variety in expressions. One of my biggest problems with a lot of Kenjaku's fights had been the flat 'range'¹ of 'bored', 'analytical', and 'smug', and this fight gave Kenjaku way more room to show their other traits, such as the humor/comedic sensibilities they'd not often expressed.

Takaba's introspection was also quite nice. I tend to be more a fan of subtler character arcs, but the to-the-point nature of Takaba's grappling with his desires and self-affirmation/place in the world was very welcome and effective. Honestly, I consider the way Takaba was handled here to be some of Gege's best character work. Short bursts like this seem to be favored by Gege, whereas resolutions tend to be a weaker point in the overall narrative and in character arcs, specifically. So, speaking of...

Where things fall apart is that ending. Note, I am speaking from only having read properly to the end of Chapter 243--if my thoughts change, I'll amend the post with a reblog.

So, I think that the entire fight being a diversion tactic is a good idea! It makes sense that the cast would put together an idea like this, and allows for diversification of their tactics, which makes the characters more believable and gives the audience more to chew on. It also makes sense that they'd specifically send Yuta, and that Kenjaku had such a fun time with Takaba that they'd subconsciously ignored Yuta's arrival.

However. This was really poorly-foreshadowed. The plan wasn't indicated to the readers, outside of the discussion to send Takaba as the assassin, but without Angel's explanation for why. Yuta was there for the discussion, but his involvement in the final plan was not on-screen or otherwise indicated, as far as I could tell. The following panel is about the only evidence of foreshadowing that I can think of:

In a way, it cheapens Yuta's involvement. This should be a really cool moment for Yuta, and satisfying for the readers, but it's just...out of nowhere. Yuta is easily replaceable, despite his desire to kill Kenjaku for his beloved and respected teacher. This should be a bigger moment for Yuta, and certainly for Kenjaku, if this is how he dies and exits the story. Due to the lack of sufficient foreshadowing, it instead comes off as jarring.

Additionally, Kenjaku's ending dialogue doesn't fit with the motives established in 239, which fit with how Kenjaku had been characterized up to that point.

Kenjaku acknowledges Yuta's confirmation that Takaba was sent as a distraction (and may be implying that Takaba was not aware that Kenjaku would be killed, though this is dubious due to the nature of the conflict with Kenjaku). They then say,

"I see...I hate to leave so much undone..." Which is fine, as Kenjaku is established as wanting to create chaos to experience interesting fluxes in life's equilibrium. Specifically in 239, they phrase it as, "...want[ing] to see what you haven't seen..." and "want[ing] confirmation that what you think is interesting is actually interesting." But then they continue with,

"...But...my will shall be carried on."

Huh? Kenjaku wants to experience wonders they can't even dream of. What use does their will being carried on have to them, if they can no longer experience it?

The only way I can think of this being in-line with how they've been characterized is if they manage to cheat death again, even if only partially, but I'm getting the impression that Kenjaku is not coming back from this, in any way. Perhaps they messed with Tengen's sense of self and included a piece of themselves in Tengen, or there is some weirdness going on with Yuji, or the Kamo Clan. But regardless, it doesn't really work with Kenjaku's characterization immediately and long before this point. It's just odd. Any thoughts? I should hopefully be reading 244 not long after this, so hopefully that will clear things up. I wanted to get this off my chest, though.

¹One of my problems with post-Shibuya Sukuna, and especially after Satoru's unsealing, is that Sukuna also tends to fall in a similar 'range'. Even in his fight with Yorozu, he tends to just bounce between 'analytical', 'unenthused', and 'smug'.

[wowevenmoreloveonearth]

I really need to stop going into the general 911 tag bc some of y’all are so stupid and that’s ok but you’re also really mean and I’d like you to please keep it away from me (I have blocked so many people already)

[coolspacequips]

have been rooting around looking for spooky aesthetic supernatural series to watch, and randomly dipped into watching Legacies for the first time. It's one of those things where I can see why it's a 'hear me out' series for a lot of ppl, so I'm waiting for the show to grow, there's a lot of stuff that I like here but....

I'm like 6 eps in, operating on the assumption that these old ass looking teens are probably meant to be 18 like they often are, but I forgot that in a lot of these teen drama series they're actually 16, and in fact have been 15 this whole time which they drop after a sex scene and everything!!!!! MAN!!! I wish there were more shows like this for adults dflaksfjadskfja

[fvckednddistvrbed]

i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad

[thecherrygod]

/

[justablah56]

that moment when you think about a friend you haven't seen in 2 years and you realize wow the attachment issues are strong with this one

[kasprs]

brain been the worst its been in years and i cant catch a gd break

[shitpost-it-tristan]

Alright, so! I should probably disclose that this whole essay analysis is based on an entire rant that I messaged my good friend, @bashfulgnome haha!

And when I say rant, I mean like an ENTIRE NOVEL. So at first, it was just me, popping off and getting overly passionate about Felix (per the norm)

But then, I decided "Hey, this is some good stuff! I should expand it! Why not make this into an essay about his whole development? He's a pretty complex character, and some people didn't pick up on the fact that he's NOT a jerk!"

It was pretty much just a whole analysis of what led up to the Fungeon breakdown. "He's not pissed off at Ralph or Tammy, HE'S PISSED OFF AT HIMSELF FOR FUCKING UP. THE ANGER IS TOWARDS HIMSELF!"

^ That was the whole plot of my ramble.

I've been expanding it for a few months now (Towards the end of June, I think?)

Anyway, I'll post a snippet of what I've got so far!

(It is a long essay. It *WAS* 30 pages... Now it's 50 pages. 👀 And I ain't done – yeah, I think too much about this tiny handyman.)

y'all ain't ready for my 30-page essay, but oh boy! I'm excited to share it, but first I gotta—

Fix-It up a bit. The essay on the 'Evolution of Fix-It Felix Jr, From The Game Fix-it Felix Jr', needs a lil fixin' itself. So, I shall polish it-

It's coming soon. Be prepared y'all, cause you can expect all kinds of punny lines (Lame ones, but you guys seem to enjoy those??)

Maybe I can figure out a shorter title, cause damn. His whole greeting is a thesis statement on its own👀💀

[fatliberation]

Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

[mer-acle]

do you have any headcanons about the other gods?

Lol naturally hehe (that's also so much lmao)

I think I'll just try to add one for each Olympian besides Athena and add links if I already made bigger posts about them. (The non-EPIC gods might get a little shorter)

Zeus: Makes the biggest gestures, in debate, at dinner, just whenever he's talking. It's great for who's sitting next to him (usually Hera and Athena respectively) bc who doesn't love being almost hit in the face every two seconds?

Poseidon: Involves himself in arguments all. the. time. Nobody cared, nobody asked, he knows like half of the facts and has no idea what the problem is but SURE shout along.

Hades: A lot more measured and chill than his brothers, but lets himself be drawn into debates and he CAN get pretty heated if the arguments get too nonsensical.

Hera: Has a massive garden and tends to it herself. It has a peacock fountain and stuff, it's really beautiful.

Demeter: Will 100% cry if she gets a gift from one of the kids.

Hestia: The best. Gives people a bit too much space sometimes. Like, yes, all her nieces and nephews are stubborn but some of them really could need a venting session or a hug down the line, but she just leaves them be. (It is not her responsibility but she wouldn't mind them venting, she just assumes they'll come themselves)

Athena post here.

Hephaestus: Is actually a really good singer (we're not talking musical world rules where everyone can sing, normal world) Like mostly it's too loud in the forge but he sings to himself anyway and he has a good voice.

Aphrodite: Is an amazing swimmer. Basing this on her ocean-born creation myth even though I am more of a fan of her being Zeus' kid for my own version. For the same reason, I always picture her with pearls

Ares post here.

Artemis: In council, I believe she's the most confrontational actually. Yes, more than Athena. Athena lies to get what she wants. Artemis doesn't live on Olympus, she just comes for the council meetings so she might as well speak her mind even if it means the meeting is even more chaos than normal. In general, she never backs down from what she believes in.

Apollo post here.

Hermes: God of eavesdropping and gossip. Seriously. Do you really have to know every single thing that's going on? Also I think his funny persona is a coping mechanism but it's so deeply ingrained it would be literally impossible to shed.

Dionysus: Randomly says the most insightful shit you've ever heard. Like, Athena is speechless levels of deep stuff. Like... is it because of the drugs or is he on drugs because otherwise his being would transcend the universe, we will never know.

__________________________________

Okay that was fun hope you enjoyed :D

[revelboo]

my god how much do u write its like almost everyday i see i new fic (say this as i check tumblr daily lmao)

hope u still do sum hand and wrist stretches, take care of ur hands cuz they the ones who bring these pieces of poetry to us 🙏

but ur brain the main boss, so tace care of urself op

🤣 There’s a reason I post these like they are rather than the actual, detailed long form bits I’ve posted a few times. These are like my notecards for my manuscripts, hitting the high points I need to remember, but not bothering to flesh out a lot of the filler. I can type up a short form scenario like this in a few minutes if I want to. I try not to spam a ton at a time.

It Had to Be You Pt 5

TF One Megatron x Reader-Connection

• He’s aware of you all the time, even when you’re not near. You’re an itch in the back of his processor, snagging him and claiming his attention. Distracting him. None of his followers know about his little human yet and he intends to keep it that way. You’re too small. Too fragile and completely dependent on him for survival. Rummaging through the packages in his hand, he lets himself into his quarters. Knows his Decepticons must be wondering what he’s up to, why he’s always shutting himself away. He wishes he knew.

• He’s back. You hear the heavy sound of those peds and curl into a tighter ball among the blankets. If you pretend you’re asleep he might leave you alone. You know he won’t, though. Peeking out, you watch him drop a handful of packaged food in a corner of your cage and your stomach growls even as you hold your breath. Praying he just goes away. And you still try to claw away, kicking as he reaches in and picks you up. Groaning as you shove at his servos and hating the way that disjointed sense that you know him jangles through you every time his metal flesh touches your skin. It’s a lonely ache that echoes through you, calling to you even as you resent it. Resent him.

• That sense of peace, of rightness, washes over him as he cages you between his servos and vents, optics shuttering. Whatever this is that chains him to you, you either can’t feel it or are fighting tooth and nail against it. But he knows you can’t win. He couldn’t either. The two of you are tied together in ways he can’t understand, that ancient ache only abating when he can touch you, feel you against him. Something in you soothing his very spark when he should hate your weakness, your dependence on him. “Be still,” he growls, carrying you to his berth and stretching out. This too has become a routine as he pins your soft form under his servos so you’re sprawled on his chassis over his spark so he can soak in that warm sense of connection.

• You’re drowning in him, can almost swear you can feel him and not just physically. It’s like there’s a door shut between you and you want to tear it open even as it terrifies you. Those big servos lay heavy across your back, pressing you flat. The hum and heat of his internal systems rumbling through you. Part of you wants more, to press your cheek to his warm hide and just give in. Relax. Your heart begins to race as panic begins to claw its way up your throat. You don’t want to feel so safe in his hands, like this is exactly where you belong.

• “Calm, little human.” A servo slides over the back of your head as he focuses on the feel of your breathing and the frantic beat of your heart against him. You try to wiggle away when he slides his servos under the back of your shirt, strengthening that connection and feeling his spark thrum as that imbalance settles. As soon as he breaks the contact, it’ll be back, but for now he feels whole. For now, it’s enough.

Previous Next

[botboots]

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

-----------------

Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :] 

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[bravo4iscool]

simon meets your parents for the first time🤪

(kinda pt2 of this post lmao; i’m venting a bit here😗✌🏼)

tag list - @bumblebeesfromvenus @blackhawkfanatic @yazt09 @hatterripper31

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

you smoothe down your shirt as you step out of the car along simon. “there’s a few things you need to know,” you look at him, taking a deep breath. he raises his eyebrow at you, slowly rounding the car. “my parents are, well…the typical mennonite,” you say while you make your way towards the door of the red brick house.

“no heavy pda. no hand on my thigh, furthest you can go is your arm around my shoulder.” you look at him to make sure he’s listening. he looks at you and quietly hums along. “they’ll pray before eating but if you don’t want to pray just sit still and…i don’t know…do nothing.” you look at him again as you stand in front of the door of your childhood home.

you ring the bell, waiting for the door to open. “oh, and they’re pacifists. so, try not to talk about your job too much, okay?” you smooth down your shirt again and simon chuckles beside you.

he pulls you in and places a small kiss on your head. “i’ll be alright luv,” he promises in a quiet whisper. “ya told m’enough ‘bout ya parents.”

he lets you go just before the door opens and your mother beams at you. “darling,” she greets you and pulls you into a hug immediately. “how great to see you! come here.” she gives you a heart-filled kiss on the cheek and takes a minute to admire you. then her eyes drift towards simon.

“you must be simon,” she smiles and extends her arms to hug him. “my little girl told me much about you,” she says as she embraces him. he quickly shoots you a confused glance before he carefully puts his arms around her and pats her back.

you just shrug and smile. you parents weren’t that supportive of yours and simon’s relationship… mainly because the both of you weren’t married and he wasn’t, well, a mennonite. or a christian in general. “nice t’meet ya ma’am,” simon says when your mom breaks the hug.

your mother huffs and waves it off. “don’t call me ma’am, you’re practically family,” she smiles as she pulls you and simon along. “your father has been all fussy,” she laughs as she shows you both into the living room.

“look who’s finally here,” your mom calls out when your father comes into vision and he immediately stands up from the couch.

first he embraces you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “great to see you, pumpkin,” he smiles, ruffling your hand before he turns to look at simon. he looks him up and down before he extends his hand. “simon, i suppose?” he greets and simon nods as he takes your fathers hand.

“yes sir. pleasure t’meet ya,” he says and your father hums.

“i’ve heard a lot about you.”

simon smiles, “only good stuff i hope.”

to your surprise your father smiles back, twinkle in his eyes. “mainly.”

-

you’ve all been sitting at the table for a while already, eating your moms dinner when she finally speaks up. “so, when do you two plan on getting married?” she smiles, setting down her fork.

you choke on your food and cough while you hiss, “mom.”

“it’s a reasonable question, pumpkin,” your father then chimes in, looking at you and simon. “you’ve been together for more than a year. it’s only natural to get married now,” he explains with a slight shrug as he takes a sip of his coke.

you swallow your food and look at your parents while simon shoots you a side glance. “we’re not planning on getting married soon,” you calmly explain.

your mother frowns, “but why? look at your sister. she’s married since five years and already pregnant with the third.” simon’s eyes slightly widen as he looks at you. oh, your parents were that kind of mennonite.

you take a deep breath to calm yourself. “and i’m happy that i’m becoming an aunt again, trust me but simon and i do not want to marry currently,” you try to explain again. “besides, his field of work—“ you cut yourself off immediately. fuck, why did you mention this? you knew they’d ask about his work now. fuck.

your fathers eyebrows quirk up. “his field of work?” he looks at simon. “what’re you working as son?” he wants to know, taking another sip of coke.

simon shoots you a glance, wanting to know if he should say the truth. you just give him a subtle nod and start to chew on your lip. simon look back at your dad and slightly leans back in his seat. “special forces, sir. SAS.”

your father hums, meanwhile your mother gasps. “the military?” she asks, eyes blown wide. “but it’s that dangerous?”

“of course it’s dangerous,” your father slightly rolls his eyes, but still pats your mothers hand in a loving manner. “but i trust you’re good at you’re job?”

“very much so, sir.”

“good.”

-

after dinner simon sits together with your father while you and your mother—much to his disapproval—clean up the kitchen and table.

“look simon,” you father says after a few moments in silence. “i know my wife and i aren’t that…happy about this relationship, or more about the circumstances of this relationship…” your father takes a deep breath. “but i can see how happy you make her and i’d let the world burn to see her happy.”

simon slightly tilts his head at your fathers words. he didn’t expect this—absolutely not.

“i don’t know how much she told you…but the church doesn’t approve of your relationship. i mean, she’s not part of the church anymore but her mother and i am.” your father sighs again. simon could see how hard this was for him. “i won’t tell you what do do simon and i won’t force you to marry her…but think about it maybe. she loves you. and i’m sure you love her too.”

simon doesn’t say anything, only listens to your father. he wanted to hear where this was going. maybe your parents weren’t as strict as you’d always said them to be?

“i like you, simon. you seem like a honourable man,” your father clasps simon’s shoulder. “don’t break her heart.” he looks at simon, that—that look, that only a father could possess, in his eyes.

simon slowly nods. “i love her, sir. i wouldn’t dream of hurting her,” he says, his voice genuine, nothing but the truth coming from his lips.

your father smiles as he pats simon’s shoulder. “good. that’s…that’s good.”

[azaharinflames]

Curently 911 is filming episode 11 & 12, and Lou is working on another project. There's no way he's working on 9-1-1 at the same time. LA traffic alone wouldn't allow it.

I thought I have prepared my heart for the possibility of Bucktommy not going back together again. But a new affirmative sign like this still hurts me a little 😔.

Hi, Nonnie!

Listen, I get it. But in my honest opinion? Lou was never gonna come back in the first eps of 8b. We know 9&10 are mostly going to deal with Maddie’s kidnapping and Tim has teased the end of ep 10 changes everyone’s life. Now, you can choose to be a bit skeptical about that part. I know I am.

Either way, we know post ep 10 there is a time jump. My personal theory is that it won’t be a super big one, rather it will be a natural time jump (to make it so what happens in the series happens at the same time as we watch it), and the first couple eps will be to establish some SLs.

Personal theory? We will see the rebound for Buck that Tim teased. I do believe it won’t last more than a couple eps. And then we’ll probably have Buck exploring or trying to get to know himself better. Boring and overused, but if they go in any other direction I will be genuinely surprised.

If/when Tommy comes back… honestly I don’t think it’ll be any earlier than at least midway through 8b, if not in the last couple of eps or even in the last one. Mostly so the audience is hooked for the next season but also because it wouldn’t make sense to make the audience go through the bs of 806-808 if things were going to be fine a few eps later.

We have to remember Tommy is not a main. Most likely, if Buck and he manage to find each other again, it will be something to mostly happen off-season, imo. As in, we will have a cute reunion on screen, then the season will end, then (perhaps based on the reaction idk) we’ll start the next season (if we get one) already with them having worked through their issues.

I know the idea of it sucks a bit but hey. They had Tarlos say their ILYs off-season. So. I wouldn’t be too surprised lmao.

(Also if he does not come back for this season, I honestly think he will only come back if they need a HEA for Buck once the series ends and Lou is available for that. Because imho they are not finding a LI that works better than him any time soon)

As for Lou’s filming schedule, I wouldn’t put too much weight on it. Mostly because we don’t know it. We don’t know if he’s mostly done with the sketch show, or if he only has to shoot 3 days a week, or what. Nothing tells us shooting that and shooting 911 is something impossible to combine.

And I don’t want to pretend I know something will happen, or give anyone false hope. I’m the first person who truly expects nothing from this show anymore and who knows chances are we will be disappointed, because the show has shown us we can’t trust it. Just wanted to point out some things ;)

Anyway, my inbox is open for venting, ranting, and giving your opinions! Physical therapy has been kicking my ass this week but I’ll try to be more present (don’t tear your meniscus, babes. I highly do not recommend)

Take care <3

[ultrakill-confessions]

No idea if this goes against the rules, I re-read them a bit to make sure, though I'm not 100% confident. This post isn't intended as a vent, although it may read as one. ULTRAKILL has both helped and warped(?) parts of my life. I have a really horrible fixation on ULTRAKILL. I don't tend to scale things because trying to say "I'm a bigger fan than you are because X, Y and Z!!!1!1!" has always pissed me off and generally rubs me the wrong way. However, for me, I do feel like this is in a similar vein (vein like castle v-), and is GENUINELY to a worrying degree imo. Maybe someone else can relate? Unsure.

For context on some of this, I deal with a dissociative disorder, and I'm a split of V1. Even with that, I can only think of one other instance where it complicated an interest of ours this badly. I think about ULTRAKILL every hour on the hour, I'm not even sure if I go ten minutes w/o thinking about it. And I live a healthy (relatively) life! I'm able to do things, go outside, enjoy life to the best of my ability, hold a job, college, etc. and have gotten better w/ socializing (autism really messes w/ this one); I am just fucking insane about ULTRAKILL. This shit consumes a large chunk of my frontal lobe, hand to God. I constantly plan out and/or make fanfictions (though never post em because being an ao3 author is a little spooky, can't lie gehshe), drawings, animations. Dawg I even get GYM MOTIVATION from ULTRAKILL. Body goals? THE MACHINE. I listen to the soundtrack while I work out (my bias to Order, Death of God's Will, Colliding Stars and The Abyss and the Serpent really poke out here). In fact, ULTRAKILL even helped with my gender and sexual (not inherently trying to be NSFW here) identities! Legitimately made me come to the realization that we might align more with being agender than transmasculine, and that we have no idea what our disaster of a sexuality is collectively, so we just say queer! And even though it's still hard to express ourselves, that has helped so much in feeling more .. at comfort? Correct? I dunno. There’s also a lack of need for labels at all now. It feels so fuckin’ goofy to say this because it HAS consumed a part of my life to the point where I feel like I'm peak brain-rotting at times, however it's also really helped, too?? Like in the most oxymoronic way ULTRAKILL has helped me develop as a person. The imaginary scenarios and art I use aids me in my expression and thought and even brings out more of my creativity. Ironically, despite not really wanting to be perceived as a human being, it has made me feel more like a person. I have a love-hate relationship with it only for the intensity of how much I adore it. It makes me upset when I no longer feel like I’m “me” enough, and yet ironically it has helped me to be healthier in other areas. lowkey use it to cope w/ the religious trauma sometimes too haha I will say, though, for a while I thought (and still sometimes do think) it was ruining my mental state. The identity issues, artist envy, missing my source/individuals from it (+ pseudo-memories and heavy dissociation as a whole if I'm being real), and general hyperfixation woes get very heavy at times. Interest so bad I have to look away sometimes when I see voice actor work, SFM's, etc. Not very proud of that. I never express these issues heavily to anybody except my sibling and a few close friends, simply due to the nature of people, especially on the internet, along with the complexity of having to explain an illness that is so severely stigmatized. My current issue is just holding back from spending my money on merch lmao (I may just draw myself with it to cope /hj). I am cringe and I will soon be free! Apologies if this post is depressing and/or repetitive. uhh, I've seen some anons name themselves, so camaraderie anon here?? LOL sorry. (p.s shoutout to the sisyphus likers and people who hate his mischaracterization YOU ARE THE REAL ONES!!!)

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