#A TIM with a full bread

[coochiequeens]

I've been posting regularly since the start of Covid. And I still wasn't prepared to start my day reading this headline.

By Shay Woulahan December 20, 2023

A trans-identified male has appeared in court after being accused of dumping soiled adult diapers outside a children’s nursery and stealing clinical waste bags. Abbi Taylor, born Martin Tarling, was also accused of hiding in a public bin with soiled diapers, smearing excrement on children’s milk bottles and removing items from a waste receptacle outside a nursery.

Taylor, 47, has been charged with 9 counts related to incidents that occurred between October 2022 and November 2023. The charges include four counts of dumping bags of toxic materials, namely diapers containing human waste, at nurseries in South Tyneside, an offense under the Environmental Protection Act.

Taylor also faces a charge of outraging public decency stemming from his entering a waste bin containing the feces of children.

At the time of the incidents, Taylor was under a criminal behavior order imposed by the Nottinghamshire Magistrates’ Court prohibiting him from being within 10 meters of a nursery without reasonable excuse, suggesting he had been caught conducting similar activity in the past.

Although court listings used the name Martin Tarling, the Chair of the Bench, John Lee, asked Taylor if he preferred to be addressed by his “feminine” name and the defendant agreed. Taylor didn’t enter into a plea at South Tyneside Magistrates’ Court and will appear in court again on January 16.

Though he attended his hearing at the South Tyneside Magistrates Court donning a full beard, Taylor was later described in the media as a “transgender woman.”

Reduxx has located a social media profile believed to belong to Taylor which features extremely disturbing content. On the account, which is registered in Taylor’s location of Newcastle upon Tyne, a number of sexual animations depicting women and girls in diapers have been posted. The profile photo for the account shows an animated little girl sucking on a pacifier with the words “baby girl” written on her t-shirt.

Under a section offering alternative names and nicknames, Taylor says he also likes to be known as Baby Abbs, Little Princess, and Baby Girl.

In his profile, Taylor describes himself as an “intersex female and an “ABDL little.” The acronym “ABDL” refers to the “Adult Baby Diaper Lifestyle” or “Adult Baby Diaper Lover” fetish, wherein adults are sexually aroused by acting or dressing as babies. The fetish is more formally known as paraphilic infantilism or “autonepiophilia.”

There is a noticeable overlap between men with autonepiophilia and men who identify as women, with a number of disturbing incidents involving gender confused males with diaper fetishes making headlines over the past year.

In April of 2022, a man from Helensburgh pleaded guilty to abusing two children by forcing them to entertain his fantasy of being a three-year-old girl named “Molly.” Stephen Cunningham repeatedly dressed up as a little girl in the presence of the two victims, including wearing adult diapers and providing the victims with pacifiers and baby bottles. He would shout offensive remarks at the children, and told one of the children he was an “adult baby.”

Cunningham also offered diapers for the minors to wear and sent them text messages describing his experiences of dressing up as “Molly.” He would also make references to standing in front of the child in a soiled diaper, asking them to buy him new ones.

Shortly after, a man in Swindon was sentenced to a 24-month community order after exposing himself to multiple teen girls. Andrew Keen, 41, was active in online sissy and crossdressing communities and posted YouTube videos of himself dressing in women’s clothing. Though he scrubbed his social media shortly after his arrest, Keen frequently interacted with transgender pornography and age regression accounts — including those pertaining to the “ABDL” community.

Earlier this year, Reduxx exclusively revealed that the transgender criminal whose pioneering legal case paved the way for violent males to be transferred into women’s prisons in the American state of New Jersey was a diaper fetishist.

Danielle Demers, who was convicted following an investigation by the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, proudly declares himself an “adult baby” and frequently interacts with other members of the fetishistic subculture online.

[sentienceisoverrated]

Dick eating a piece of bread:

Tim also eating a piece of bread:

Damian eating jam and toast:

Jason eating a full English breakfast he made for himself: Sucks to be you guys.

Bruce sprinting in because he smelt food: Is Alfred back?

Tim, Dick and Damian: No.

Jason: (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

[breadandblankets]

While the Thomas's are still in their at home recovery phase, Elaine takes to keeping the news on so she can keep an eye on Duke while he is on Signal duty.

She doesn't like it of course, she winces at bad hits, remembering her own training as a young woman. But she fears not knowing what happens to her son more than she fears a little worry. He's strong, she knows that, and she trusts him.

She's glad for this one day.

For Duke it had been a long week, a long life if he was being honest. The "what ifs" had kept him up most nights and made whatever sleep he had gotten functionally useless. Not to mention how he helped out Tim with something around 11 and that nearly every fucking meta in Gotham had it out for him today.

A dozen fights in and someone finally knocks him in a way that Duke is wondering how he's going to get up from this one.

His powers are screaming, his body is screaming, hell, he might be screaming. Around the ringing in his ears it doesn't really make much of a difference.

Someone (or something) is coming at him and Fast, Izzy in his ear is telling him Hood's position, she already called for aid ten minutes ago (he loves her so much, has he mentioned that recently?).

A shadowy figure steps in front of him.

At first he thinks it might be Bruce, but then Izzy would have warned him, and Bruce had never looked so oily and smoky before. Duke concludes that maybe this is someone else coming to finish him off.

Great, wonderful, he thinks as his muscles tense to shadow step.

Duke is soon proven delightfully wrong.

The big guy who was, not a second ago, rushing him to squish his tender flesh, is struggling, making nearly animalistic sounds as the oil slick clouds from the shadow guy in front of him shoot out to grab the big guy.

There's a poof, not unlike his own shadow stepping, and then the big guy is fucking gone.

Shadow guy turns to look at him, big glowing purple eyes shine at him through the darkness. Duke is struck dumb for a moment.

"Mom?" he whispers.

The Red Hood steps onto the scene just in time. He wasn't far, less than half a mile away, putting the finishing touches on his taxes for the year. (He may be running a criminal enterprise but let it be know that he does pay his fucking taxes, Tim.)

He rushes over, training a .44 on the remaining non-bat on the field. The smog creature turns to look at him, and pointedly at the gun. Somehow he feels more chastised in a way that nothing B could do or say could ever achieve.

And then it's gone.

Jason jogs over, offering a hand to his (co-worker? co-sufferer of B's shit? 'lil bat bro' [Jason rolls his eyes at internal Dick]) Duke.

Duke grabs it, weakly (ohhhh someone's gonna get Bennchhedddd).

"What the fuck man," Jason can't help but say. "Does the hat-man owe you money?"

Duke laughs, and he looks more alive than he did a second before. (Jason is going to get a good grade in mentor, something both normal to want and possible to achieve.)

They both hear Izzy's audible relief on the line.

"Yeah he fucking does," Duke jokes back.

[pacificwaternymph]

Batfamily Beauty and the Beast AU where Bruce is the beast and with every child he adopts he becomes slightly more and more human.

He finds Dick in the woods, sobbing over the loss of his parents. A year later, he looks in the mirror and wonders if he's only imagining that he's gotten shorter.

Jason sneaks into the castle and steals a loaf of bread, hungry and desperate. Bruce takes him in and offers him a proper meal. As he's putting his new son to bed one night, he notices that his claws have shrunk.

Tim marches into the castle and demands Bruce take him, knowing the stories of the monster who kidnaps children. Bruce's snout feels flatter than it used to when he presses a kiss to his forehead.

Cassandra lasts a full two weeks before anyone even notices she's there. The fur on Bruce's arms begins to thin as he holds her close, and she smiles up at him.

Tim brings home Stephanie, who loudly insists that she does not need nor want a new father. His skin grows less leathery, and the beginnings of crows feet appear on the corners of his eyes.

Damian is brought to them by Talia, rigid and wary of everything, convinced of his birthright as the Bat's heir. The fangs in Bruce's mouth seem to smooth over as he learns to gentle his speech.

The day Duke joins the family, still reeling from the plague that claimed his parents, something clicks. Bruce steps out, and before them stands a perfectly human man, finally made whole by his love for his children.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Some Guy Outtake/Prompt

"Well if you keep psychoanalyzing your dates -" "Yes, Danny, I am well aware I am the problem." Jazz sigh in resignation, “maybe I should just give up for now."

Danny entered his kitchen and placed the phone on the counter, continuing to speak to his sister as he dug through his cabinets. Peanut butter and jelly sounded good for dinner. "Jazz, you're not a problem. You just get overzealous and are passionate about what you're studying." "Like mom and dad?"

"Ha! Well -" Danny turned, package of bread in hand, to see Red Robin on his fire escape looking like he was trying to open it.

"Hold-on Jazz there's a Robin at my window." "So? Maybe give it some bread?"

Danny looked at the loaf in his hand and then back to the window.

The last thing Tim had been expecting when he tried to enter Danny's apartment was a package of wonder bread to hit him in the face. He fell back into the railing with a crash.

"What was that?" Jazz asked. "I don't think the Robin liked the bread." "Try bird seed next time."

A week later, Jason, like his little brother, was also not expecting the hand full of small pellets to the face.

Masterpost

[luminatricky]

Vampire? In Gotham! (part 3)

Summary: the batfam have a meeting, Constantine got a little too lost in the sauce when crafting Danny's sob story, and we find out what Dracula's been up to all these years. Oh and the DC version of Vlad is fully dead? More at 9

Relationships: the batfam

on god I spent too much time thinking about danny's vampsona. he's got two outfits so far. no I didn't make a concept board. no I didn't make a picrew. I don't know what you're talking about

(sorry if this is all horribly ooc I struggled a bit with making this intelligible)

Red Hood doesn't usually leave Crime Alley. That's a known fact. But Batman doesn't usually call a meeting that includes Red Hood. The old man learned years ago not to involve him unless it's important with a capitol I.

Pulling into the Batcave, Jason slows to a stop on his motorcycle. He follows the voices of his family to the Batcomputer. Everyone is in full gear, but not everyone is fully present.

Dickhead was ransacking the medical room for...blood bags? Barbie and Replacement carved out a corner to the right of the main computer. They'd set up a foldable table for their personal laptops, sitting side by side as they quietly schemed together. Damian was working hard on some sort of artwork with a similar table to the left. He stuck his tongue out in concentration. Adorable.

Bruce was pulling up a very old case file in the central system. It looked to be a string of serial disappearances.

Jason wasn't the last to arrive for once. The elevator to the manor dings behind him. Alfred and the rest of the brood step out into the cave, carrying weapons and gadgets by the armful. Old looking Batarangs, glorified flashlights, cases upon cases of the anti-toxin epipens filled with unfamiliar blue formula. And wooden stakes.

Like a good grandson he steps up to help lighten Alfred's load, but he only gets two steps in before the old butler gives him a very disapproving eyebrow raise. Jason retreats with his hands up. He turns back to Bruce.

"This better be a bloodsucker apocalypse or you won't see me til Christmas."

Bruce pulls up a detailed list of the weapons and their uses on screen. Everyone stops what their doing and takes a picture with their phones. Garlic Batarangs, flashlights with artificial sunlight, a cure for vampirism. Wooden stakes need no introduction or explanation, except for why his dad - who is very against killing to put it fucking gently - would be giving them a vamp equivalent of a gun.

"Potentially," Bruce says. "We need to draw up new contingencies. But we also need to debrief so we have all the facts to do so."

Surprisingly, both Duke AND Tim groan. Jason understands Duke. The teen does not have the patience - ahem, attention - to learn all the contingencies at once. Which Bruce recently subjected him to from what he's gleaned from the sibling group chat.

But Tim? Making and learning ridiculous lists is the guy's bread and butter, the freak. So why -

"C'mon Bruce. What we know so far about the guy makes it seem he might be genuine. We do not have to plan a murder yet. Murder is messy - and wrong, definitely wrong." Tim tacks the last part on way too quickly for anyone here to believe that's what he actually feels. Hah. Another one straying off the path of the No Kill Rule. He can't wait to hear the details when one of their siblings interrogates him about it later.

Bruce exhales through his nose. He puts the previous topic away in favor of pulling up a picture of a middle-aged man with glacial blue eyes. His face is long and angular, and he wears old style European clothes that screams 'I'm an old rich vampire, come stake me'. Jason snorts - something about his face is so punchable.

"Dr. Alucard seemed genuine at first, too." He pulls up a picture of the same man, but this time with sunken in cheek bones. His salt and pepper hair is fully bleached, and his eyes glow unnervingly. It's a candid of him mid-fight in the Batcave, a furious snarl on his lips, baring some wicked fangs at a young Batman. "Or should I say, Dracula." He's answered with a round of gasps.

Jason's starting to see how every single one of them ended up as (melo)dramatic little shits.

He puts the pictures away. "Around the time when I was first starting out, the Penguin accidentally freed him from where he was sealed in Gotham's cemetery." Bruce begins. Jason wonders with a tight chest just what was wrong with that place. Why do the dead keep coming back to life there?

If he had a nickel...

Bruce pulls up the headlines of the 'Lost Ones' case. Jason opens his mouth to comment, but Dick beats him to it. "They seriously thought it was Batman? C'mon! How incompetent is the GCPD?"

Jason scoffs. "Says the fucking cop."

"Ex-cop, thank you. And I worked in Bludhaven before I figured out they were just as corrupted and rooting that out from the inside was a terrible plan."

"Anyone coulda told you that," Duke snarks. Jason backs him up. "Your problem is you always want to give people the benefit of the doubt when you shouldn't."

"Boys." Bruce interrupts. They all stop at the tone he uses. Alfred clears his throat, and answers Dick's rhetorical question from earlier. "That was unfortunately a common occurrence when Master B was a young bat. It would do you all well to be mindful of keeping your reputations positive amidst suspicion."

Jason doesn't laugh out of respect for Alfred - he was so not talking about him. He needs to do the opposite of spit rainbows out his ass to be effective.

"Oh my God is that why Bruce keeps gatekeeping everyone he meets? He's hazing them like a vigilante initiation ritual?" Steph whispers to Cass. He hears her softly laugh in response as she nods.

"I agree with Grayson. The GCPD are fools to think that if Father were a serial killer or trafficker that they'd ever even know. He is better than that." The demon brat brags.

Bruce huffs fondly. "It's a good thing I'm not." He gestures to the weapons. "We fought. He'd started turning people left and right, making them mind controlled vampire pawns. The Joker got turned-"

Jason's vision floods green. "And you didn't fucking stake him? Even more fucking dangerous -"

"-and I managed to capture him at a blood bank before he could do more than destruction of private property." Bruce raises his voice over him. Jason clenches and unclenches his fists. He itches to shoot something, to break something, to get relief to this God forsaken green-flavored, rage-filled pressure starting to boil over in his chest at the reminder of his murderer.

Blessedly everyone shuts the fuck up as he tries to not blow his top. Bruce should've staked him. He had the perfect excuse all lined up, and the opportunity, and goddamit Barbara wouldn't be in a wheelchair and Duke's parents would be fine and Jason wouldn't have come back evil -

Bruce isn't and wasn't evil, he reminds himself. Not like Jason is. And it's not helpful to blame him for his nature right now when they need to fucking debrief. Woulda-coulda-shoulda's are for chumps.

When he blinks back the green, shoved it down to where it's there but managed, his family haven't moved an inch from where they had been. It's a small but meaningful relief to see that they hadn't taken defensive positions like they would've in the past. They just untensed as Jason's arms stopped trembling from supernatural rage.

No one calls attention to his near-episode further, and he's grateful. "I took him back to the cave. With his blood samples I managed to create a cure for the thralls. They all went back to their everyday lives without any memories of what happened. Joker is no exception."

Which is code for, 'I found a reason to bypass normal ethics and experiment on the Joker for the greater good and yes I still remember which cell he was in. It was the highlight of that week.' It makes him feel marginally better and worse in equal measure. Where the fuck was that energy when he kicked the bucket? (Superman, was where. They already had this conversation)

"At that time Wayne Enterprises had been taking it's first steps into solar energy. When Dracula invaded the cave, we were able to survive due to the stored sunlight that the proto-type gathered."

"Wait. No, wait. Hold on. The urn on the fireplace? Please tell me that's a grandma we don't talk about." Duke pleads. "Please. It's not Kentucky Fried Vampire. Please."

When Bruce doesn't say anything for way too long, Steph nearly chokes on trying to hold back her laughter. Alfred clears his throat. "Batman was rather hurt after the altercation. And Dr. Alucard was rather rude in how he barged in - uninvited! I found it suitable that if he insisted on destroying the decorations, that he should contribute."

Steph full out cannot stop once it begins. Everyone else stares dumbfounded either at Bruce or Alfred. Dick looks like he's about to have an aneurysm. Duke is regretting his life decisions, probably the ones about joining this family. Damian is not comprehending the issue with any of this, expecting a follow up anytime soon. Cass shakes her head, but Jason hears a quiet "grandma dracula is disappointed".

He doesn't know how to feel other than dear Lord please he cannot laugh. No matter how absurd this is. He sounds ridiculous in his helmet.

"...leaving the ashes unattended would spell disaster in the wrong hands," Bruce clarifies once the giggles fall away, "Dracula kidnapped Vicky Vale to use her soul in resurrecting his wife from her ashes. Letting Alfred hide it in plain sight didn't sound like a bad enough idea to try to stop him."

"Precisely, Master Bruce." The butler approves.

"Damn. That's just cold." Dick remarks. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his free arm. "I would ask what the hell he deserved that for but he's literally an ancient evil vampire, so." His older brother jostles the blood bags he's cradling. "Hopefully this guy's an unrelated friendly."

Duke whines in the back of his throat. Jason squeezes his shoulder in sympathy.

"Tonight?" Cass redirects.

"Tonight I came across the unknown on our usual route. I had Robin stay back when I spotted him a distance away. He'd been running across rooftops, watching the people below. I followed for half a block before he walked down the side of a building and into an alley right on the border of Park Row."

"Crime Alley." Jason corrects.

"Crime Alley," Bruce amends. "Once there, he paused for a moment, searching the crowds for something. He took out a clear canister filled with a dark red liquid. It had the same viscosity as blood."

"Where's he getting the blood from? There hasn't been anymore blood bank robberies, attempted or otherwise. And no one's turned up with weird wounds, dead or alive." Steph pipes up. Babs lifts her hand up as she adds her two cents. "Unlessss, mystery teeth here is using the same tactic Drac did. If he's just arriving then we shouldn't be noticing anything just yet."

Bruce holds up a gloved finger in a 'I wasn't done' gesture. "When I approached, the unknown claimed that the canister was a synthesizer when asked. I couldn't detect any lie in his body language or voice. He then introduced himself as 'Dante Nightingale', but asked to be called Danny, which either means he's a modern vampire or an old one who is familiar with the times. I then confronted him about stalking humans from an alleyway. He revealed intel that will be worrying if confirmed."

Jason hums. "Sounds like this guy might not be the supernatural flavor of creep, at least," he mutters under his breath.

Tim raises his hand next. "From what B told me earlier, Danny said that there was some weird ghostly-doppelganger-vampire activity that our suspect hasn't seen before. The behavior, not the creatures." Tim pushes up his blue light glasses as he takes a breath. "Anyways. The info on Shades checks out. The JLD records told me all about them. Show of hands if anyone's seen Appalachia Tik Tok?"

Oh Jason doesn't like where this is going. Alfred (surprisingly), Cass, Dick, Babs, Steph, and Duke all put their hands up too.

Tim goes on. "The mimics? Shades are like that, but with a life force sucking aspect. They're basically ghosts who never were alive and didn't form right, so they eat human emotions until they become fully sentient ghosts called Specters. In a really creepy 'I'm going to replace you' way. So. Bad stuff."

Jason shivers when Bruce nods. "Nightingale claims that they're walking the streets in unusual numbers. That he had just arrived and in Gotham and that he was exploring tonight when he noticed something off."

"Ohhhhkay! Just what we needed, yeah? Invisible monsters in Gotham!" Dick says. "Quick, scratch that off the bingo."

Tim rolls his eyes. "Do we have a description? Power set, background check? I need everything I can to narrow down which type of vamp in the database." He's tapping away at his laptop again, not looking up as he types.

Bruce motions for Damian to come closer. The demon brat hands off the artwork he'd been quietly working on as they talked. Bruce observes it, before nodding at where Damian stands at attention like a good little soldier. Damian preens.

Jason blinks away the green.

Their dad scans the sheet with a device, and the image pops up on the main computer. The man in the portrait has pale skin - obviously. Fangs - no duh. Although notably shaped differently from Drac's. Claws a good few inches long and white in color. Jason spies an interesting ring. It's crown shaped and encased in fake(?) ice. Freckles on his rounder face, framed by wispy-looking stark white hair. Skeleton earrings, black turtleneck, a white blouse with a ridiculously low vee neck tucked into green pants. A delicate chain in the shape of a spiderweb wraps around his covered throat in a pleasing contrast.

The man's eyes are a hauntingly familiar shade of green. He sees it often.

The pupils glow a lighter hue of lazarus, shaped like four-pointed stars. Jason would say the guy looks more like a fae took a dip in the Pits than bloodsucker. But what does he know? Guy didn't deny the blood drinking accusations for fuck's sake.

Babs jumps in again. "We had B give Robin a description because apparently his presence is a hell of an EMP. Video feed and coms went down as soon as Batman joined him in the alley. So a few feet away." She clicks a few things on her own screen, and then starts reading down some sort of list she typed up for herself.

"Dante Nightingale, aged nineteen. A farm boy from Illinois. Parents Robert and Jane Nightingale. No other relatives. Totally normal until he was struck by lightning at thirteen and his metagene activated, giving him minor power over ice and sensitivity to heat." She taps something on her computer and a young Danny Nightingale jumps next to Damian's portrait. The black haired boy has a big goofy grin on his even rounder face, splattered with freckles. In this picture, it's obvious that although he's trying to look happy for picture day, the kid had serious bags under his eyes, and a look in those clear blues that just screamed that Danny had seen some awful things. "Then at fourteen, the whole family got into a car crash. Robert and Jane died on scene, while Dante lasted three days in the hospital before going missing entirely."

Babs pushes up her glasses and takes a deep steadying breath. "The nurses on duty reported a change in hair and eye color, as well as strange dental elongation in the canines. Paired with uncontrollable ice stronger than recorded earlier, this led them to believe that Danny's metagene strained under the new trauma and started causing physical mutations alongside the modifications to his original ability. But I think we all know what was actually happening to him."

"...What else do we know about the kid?" Dick asks. Anyone who didn't know him would say that Dick was relaxed, but Jason and anyone else who knew him could clearly see that Danny's story hit a little too close to home. Dead parents in an 'accident' where the kid was there to see. Yeah.

Heh. This looks like a classic meta trafficking case, the more he follows that thought. Not the casual kind most parents have to fear - pick a kid off the street just 'cause they were there, someone will pay for 'em no matter if they're pretty or not.

No. This was targeted. Planned out weeks, months, years in advance. Someone wanted this kid for something specific - enough to murder his parents for and make it look like an accident. Likely, it was to have an ice meta under mind control, considering what Bruce said about Dracula and his thralls. If he's right, Jason might have to go all Buffy Summers and deal with them.

Jason reaches out to catch Duke by the shoulder again and this time he doesn't let go. His newest brother looks at him, big brown eyes wide and fearful. It could've been him, easy. They both think it. They both know it. Fuck, Danny was just a few years younger than he is now.

Jason squeezes. He whispers low to him. "I'd shoot them in the balls for you. Won't let 'em take you. End bloodlines if I have to, to get you back." Duke gulps, and nods. The teen squeezes his eyes shut and Jason pretends he doesn't see him quickly wipe his eyes.

"...Recently, he got legally un-declared dead, and opened a bank account. Looks like one very dead Vlad Masters left his fortune to him sometime earlier. Man owned a goddamn castle. They found a secret lab in his basement with strange equipment when they went looking for evidence. And. Oh. Oh that's not good."

"What is it?" He asked, not wanting to know the answer already.

"Police found a mystery green liquid they couldn't identify but put the composition on file. I just ran it through our systems. 70% match to lazarus water. What's more, there were blood packs close by that were heavily contaminated with the same substance." She looks like she was ready to throw up at the dots they were all connecting.

He might as well. "Alright. Meta kid's trafficked at fourteen and turned into a vampire. Spends the next five years caught by mad scientist vampires who poked and prodded at him like a rat. Then, he murders the assholes, runs off with their money, and moves to Gotham. Fuck's sake." Jason sums up.

Bruce makes a 'I'm not disagreeing with you but I have an opinion' grunt. "That's one possibility. The most likely one from what we know right now."

"But?" Someone prompts.

"But. He mentioned a term called 'Fraid'. He said that someone told him that myself and 'my Fraid' were good people. Nightingale claimed it was a cultural term for found family," Bruce explained. The man's mouth twitches into a frown. "If he was being held hostage all that time, would they have bothered to teach him that? And if they did, experimentation wouldn't be all they had wanted from him. No one would bother to teach someone disposable."

Tim stopped typing for a second, eyes widening and then blanking quick as a whip. Swallowed. Went back in with a vigor.

"So. Either. He got away from his kidnappers, and there's some found family out there somewhere. Or he never got away from them, but he was not expendable. His kidnappers may have forced him into their family." Steph reasoned out.

"Man. This is fucked up." Duke mutters. "You're telling me, kid." Jason whispers back.

Damian bristles. "Father. We have to interrogate him. Nightingale may have connections to the League of Assassins, or a similar organization run by vampires. The lazarus water is damning. We must make sure." The demon brat demands. Which. Fair. More unknown lazarus pits are just asking for evil to pull up with some friends.

Bruce makes an 'I agree with you but I'm thinking' grunt. But before he can respond, Tim cuts in. "So Fraid is definitely what he says it means. But according to the records, only the dead or undead use it. Obviously I did a little digging. Vampires don't count as either of those, even though some sleep in coffins and stuff. No, most vampires count as something called 'death touched'. Meaning they're still alive, albeit really in tune with the other side." Tim shifts, chugging a quick bit of cold coffee. "Only one match came up when I searched for undead vampire. The thing is, it exists, but the file is on the JLD's red tape section."

Which is code for 'don't fucking touch this dimwits if you value your life, call us for fucks sake'. Pleasant.

"Yes Father. If Drake is not once again wildly incorrect and foolish, Nightingale is undead. And it's obvious how." Damian presses.

"I will make the call. Red Robin, keep looking. I'll type up the rest of the abilities and send them to you all. Everyone working with me officially, no one goes on patrol alone. We work in pairs until further notice. Everyone bring with them the anti-vampire precautions we have until we have better options." Batman commands to the group. He zeroes in on Jason, and Jason gears up to rip Bruce a new one for treating him like he's still one his birds.

But that's not what happens. "And Red Hood. Just...be careful."

Instead of acknowledging the icky ooey gooey feelings, Jason snorts derisively. "I'll tell my guys and girls to keep a lookout. If anyone goes missing I'd bet ya a thousand it'll be one of mine. Everyone knows no one's gonna call the cops." He turns around and stuffs his pockets with the gadgets, and Dick threw him a blood bag. "Later assholes."

Jason revs his bike. Tonight, he'll make his rounds, doing what said he would. And hey. Probably hit up that rage room in Bristol he goes to in civvies. Crime's been real quiet recently, and he knows it's likely purposeful.

That pisses him off that they think they can hide from him forever in his own territory.

Tonight's been bad, too. He'd rather go beat up some stupid garbage than risk a pit rage on some numb nut that at most only needs a couple slices to catch his drift. Heh. He's gonna see if they'd let him tape a pic of Dracula to a TV so he can cave his face in post-mortem.

[fanfics-i-find-here]

Do I know you? Part 5

Jason Todd x reader

Synopsis: You meet Tim and Steph, Jason is not happy about it.

Notes: Some drama is finally here brought to you by Tim and Steph. This is the power of embarrassing a sibling.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7

The past week had been… odd. And that was putting it nicely. True to his word, the next evening was filled with Red Hood replacing your window locks with newer fancy ones attached to an “Out of date” alarm system (his words not yours). He showed you how to set it up and how to attach it to your phone, so if anyone got in while you were away you would know. It seemed a bit excessive to you, living on the sixth floor and all but he was adamant about it, so you let him. He told you if you wanted him to come in and share tea you would have to leave the window unlocked for a frame of time. If he didn’t show in that frame of time, you were to lock the window anyway.

“No later, understand?” He had ordered gruffly, and you had just shrugged. You’re pretty sure he rolled his eyes in response, but you couldn’t see them. In the days following he showed up every day even if it were just for a couple minutes. Sometimes you shared food, sometimes just tea. If he stayed for longer than a few minutes, you would sit amicably at the dining table or at the island. Sometimes in comfortable silence and sometimes conversing about your days, mostly you than him. You finally settled into a routine. After his visit, you would get ready for bed and repeat the day over.

Work at Jackie’s was booming. With the fall season in full swing, people came in requesting pumpkin this and pumpkin that, only to be disappointed to find out Jackies only had one pumpkin item and that was pumpkin bread. It was a blast. You kept up with the regulars and Darla would edge her way around you, collecting gossip. Over the next week and a half, she would sporadically bother you about if you had gotten Jason’s number or if you had fallen in with some other guy. She said she saw some of the signs of a guy but wasn’t too sure. When you asked what she meant she didn’t offer you any explanation.

It was a Thursday when you met Steph. When she came in, you mentally prepared yourself for another no-pumpkin showdown. You try not to judge a book by its cover, but her blonde hair and purple athleisure made it hard not to.

“Hi, Welcome to Jackie’s. What can I get for you?” your lips twitch into a customer service smile. She grins at you like this was the most excitement she had had all day.

“Hi, I’m Steph. How are you?” she asks politely.

“I’m good. What can I get for you?” she sags slightly at your shutdown of the conversation. Overly friendly new customers in Gotham were never good. They usually wanted something.

“Right,” she perks back up, “One hot chocolate and one black coffee.” She pauses for a moment while you put in the system. When you look back up, she asks “Do you know Jason?”

The sudden question slightly takes you aback and don’t answer, so she continues.

“He's about this tall,” she holds her hand in the air, “black hair, looks like he could punch a brick wall.” You nod slowly and she smiles, “Great, where does he usually sit?”

You point to the table nook he usually hides in, and she nods, “We’ll sit there. I heard that you bring the drinks out?” You nod again, still confused about this girl. No Pumpkin spice latte, and she knows Jason? Strange.

“How much do I owe you?” you finally snap out of your stupor. She pays, you thank her and tell her it will be out momentarily. She turns and greets a lean boy as he walks through the door. She tugs him to the booth quickly and they talk to each other in hushed tones, both glancing up at you occasionally. You try to ignore them as you stumble through making the two easiest items on the menu.

You glance up when the bell dings and a smile flits across your lips when you see Jason before it turns into a frown as he frowns. His eyes staring at his now occupied table. You pause in your task and come up to the register as he takes a few slow steps towards it.

“You okay?” you ask as you glance at the two at the table. They’re looking at Jason like they’ve won the lottery.

“Did they talk to you?” He ignores your own question.

“She did. Only to order though. Do I need to call the cops?”

Jason snorts at the question, “Yeah that’ll go well. She just ordered? She didn’t ask you anything?”

You give him a strange look. What is with people and odd questions today?

“She just asked where you sit. Sorry, I gave you away.”

He breaks his glare from them and meets your eye with a softness.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. They would’ve figured it out even if you hadn’t given it to them.” Your heart flutters at the pet name. He had called you that the few times you had seen him since your walk home and it was starting to get to you.

“You want me to dump out their drinks and just make yours?” you ask as you try to force your focus away from the warmth on your cheeks.

“And ruin your hard work?” his eyes stare into your own and he finally breaks it when you hear giggles from your spies. You drop your chin down. “It’s okay,” he repeats, “I’ll sit with them.” He nods at you and heads for the table. The two sat there leaning together and whispering. You wonder who they are and how Jason knows them.

You get to work make the drinks, no longer stumbling, and with bounce your step. Darla stands next to you with a smug smile and makes some refills for customers.

“You could have asked for his number when he was alone but now there are people. Your poor self won't ever be able to do it.” She says teasingly.

“Thank you, Darla,” you say with an eye roll as you load the drinks on the tray. You take your time to meander to the table as Jason looks like he's berating the two that sit across from him. It doesn’t look like it's working as they both sit there with smug grins. You set the tray on the table and all eyes are on you. You keep your own eyes down as you move the drinks from the tray to the table. Your eyes try to catch Jason’s book for the day because you know you won't be asking like you normally do. You pull the tray from the table and rest it between your side and your arm.

“Anything else I can get you?” you glance at the two but meet Jason's eye. He looks flushed, possibly upset. Steph speaks up.

“No that’s okay. What was your name again?” she says like you had already told her. You break eye contact with Jason and look at her. She’s smiling and you can't find any malice in it, so you tell her. She nods like she already knows and points to the boy sitting next to her.

“This is Tim,” she points to Jason, “and obviously you already know Jason.” You hear a quiet thud from under the table and Tim flinches but smirks as he looks at Jason.

“You missed,” he turns to look up at you, “It's nice to meet you fin-” he cuts himself off and you wonder what the last word was.

You nod politely, “you too,” you say and look at Jason again for some explanation and a defeated look crosses his features as he shrugs.

“Brother” is all Jason gives, and you nod in semi-understanding. Based on the few mentions of family in passing conversations, you had always guessed he had a tense relationship with them.

“I didn’t know you had siblings.”  You look back at the two. Tim and Jason could definitely be brothers. Aside from their stature and slight skin tone difference, everything else is similar. Black hair, blue eyes. Though you would argue that Jason’s were prettier because they were green sometimes. Not that it mattered. Your eyes meet Stephs again. Blonde hair, green eyes, bright smile. Very different looking than the two boys.

“Are you the only girl in the family?”

Steph makes a gagging sound, “I’m not family, Thank God!” Tim snorts at her over dramatics.

“I’m sorry.” Your face flushes slightly as you flounder, “Then what…?” Your hand gestures to them all sitting at the table.

Jason's eyes narrow on your embarrassed state.

“Don’t worry, she’s just a leech.”

“Hey!”

“Would you mind getting me one of those chocolate croissants?”

You shift on your feet with a look of confusion. He never asks for anything else. You nod, “Sure, anything else for the table?”

Tim looks like he’s about to ask for something, but Jason cuts him off with a glare. Instead, he shakes his head no. You hesitantly step away from the table but take your time going back to the kitchen to pull out one of the chocolate croissants and warm it up. Your eyes periodically glance back at the table. They crouch over the table and talk to each other. You worry for a moment that they’re talking about you and then decide that it doesn’t really matter. You had only met Tim and Steph today. Their opinion of you was worthless and You knew Jason wasn’t one for gossiping about others. You’ve watched Darla try and fail. Once you finally make it back over to the table with the croissant, Tim and Steph are gone leaving their half-full drinks on the table.

As you set the plate on the table you ask, “Scare them off?”

Jason lets out a sigh.

“If only. I’m sorry if they made you uncomfortable.” You shake your head in response.

“I'm sorry I made assumptions before I had all the information. I hope I didn’t offend.”

“I doubt you could ever offend anyone sweetheart” Your cheeks warm again.

“That’s not true I work in a public job, and I offend people all the time just standing” you joke. Jason smiles and nods.

“That’s fair. How could you be so lazy?” he teases. You giggle.

 “Speaking of lazy, I should get back to work.” You point a thumb over your shoulder where a man leaves a table full of dishes.

“What time do you get off?” he asks. Your body freezes mid-turn at his abrupt question.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” he adds on, “I just enjoyed walking with you the other day and I parked my bike around the same area again, so I thought maybe…” He trails off his own cheeks flushing. Your body relaxes as you look at your watch to think. He had convenient timing; you were off soon. It was nice having someone to walk with and it wouldn’t hurt to see him on his bike again. You nod with warmed cheeks.

“I get off in about thirty minutes if you don’t mind waiting?” you say as your eyes meet his. He nods, smiling.

“It’ll give me time to read.” He lifts his book that was sitting on the table, the cover reading Pride and Prejudice.

“Again?” You can't help but ask. He looks at the book cover and rolls his eyes.

“You really want to have this conversation again?” you shake your head quickly at his question.

“I'll see you in thirty minutes.” With that, you walk away from him and throw yourself into your finishing tasks.

Additional notes: This was originally a much longer chapter but I decided to split it up. So, the next chapter is about them walking home. I have to tell you I cannot wait for ya’ll to read the next one cause I got carried away for like three seconds and had to do some backtracking. The plot was happening where I didn’t want it. I loved having Tim and Steph involved in this and just not being subtle about anything. Jason may have tried to kill Tim once but that won't stop him from being a little shit. Thank you for your love guys. This has been such an interesting experience, so the support has been lovely. Tag List: @little-miss-naill, @nikilolo787, @joonunivrs, @uzxotic, @qardasngan, @stormz369, @g4bbi3xx 

[rizzanon]

guys what if reader secretly opened a bakery

theyre like smuggling ingredents from the household like its drugs

theyre asking bruce for money for ingredients and hes okay with it up until it racks up to like a thousend dollar and hes like ???

one day one of the batfam members is just patrolling and they see a bakery they havent seen b4 and they see thru a window reader being calm and just baking or wtv bakers do idk

bit of a ramble i luv to yap

-🍰

LOLL omg wait imagine this

regressed!reader: Hey, Father, quick favor.

Bruce: (typing on the Batcomputer, barely glancing up) What is it?

regressed!reader: I need some money for… stuff.

Bruce: (still not looking) How much?

regressed!reader: Uh, a couple hundred? Maybe, like… five hundred? For supplies.

Bruce: Supplies? What kind of supplies?

regressed!reader: Just… you know, important supplies. Don’t worry about it.

Bruce: Sure. Alfred handles the allowance. (slides his card towards reader, eyes still fixed on the screen.) Just don’t buy anything illegal.

Bruce: (sitting at his desk, flipping through monthly expense reports) Flour? Sugar? Yeast? What the hell is this? (frowns) $700 on chocolate chips?

(Sometime later)

Stephanie: Hey, did you hear about that new bakery that opened up near Crime Alley?

Tim: A bakery? There? Are you sure it’s not just a front for a drug ring?

Steph: I thought the same thing, but I heard someone talking about the cookies being good. Want to check it out after patrol?

Tim: Sure I guess..

(Tim and Steph head to the bakery—in their vigilante suits—and sees reader is in the middle of handing a customer a neatly tied box of pastries. reader looks up, smiling brightly.)

regressed!reader: Welcome to— (freezes mid-sentence, her smile faltering as she locks eyes with Tim and Steph.)

Tim: …

Steph: …

regressed!reader: ….

Tim: You’re running a bakery?!

regressed!reader: Uh… surprise?

Bruce: (pinching the bridge of his nose) So, let me get this straight. You’ve been smuggling ingredients out of my house, using my money, to secretly run a bakery in Crime Alley?

regressed!reader: Pretty much, yeah.

Steph: (munching on a cookie) To be fair, the cookies are amazing.

Tim: Seriously. You should try the croissants next.

Bruce: (glaring at everyone) This is not about the croissants.

regressed!reader: But they’re really good croissants.

Alfred: (enters the room holding a tray of reader’s pastries, looking entirely unbothered) Master Bruce, I would suggest you try these ��clairs before further judgment. They’re quite exceptional.

Bruce: (sighs deeply, muttering under his breath) I’m running a house full of vigilantes… and now bakers.

Jason: (appears out of nowhere in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame, holding one of the bakery’s signature muffins, with his mouth full) Gotta say, I don’t know if I’m more impressed that you pulled this off… or pissed that you didn’t cut me in on the profits.

regressed!reader: Jason?! You knew?

Jason: (shrugs) Of course I knew. Crime Alley’s practically my backyard. Smelled the bread baking weeks ago.

Bruce: And you didn’t think to tell me?

Jason: (grinning) Thought you knew, B. After all, you’re footing the bill. (Takes another bite of the muffin.) By the way, this blueberry thing? 10/10.

Bruce: (sighing, muttering under his breath) I don’t even know why I bother anymore.

regressed!reader: So… does this mean I can keep the bakery?

[vinelark]

I've been going through ur fic recs and after binging through "A Meditation On Railroading" and "The Long Way Home", I'm now obsessed with Jason and Tim. Something about hating each other but not really, all the bad blood and hurt and still becoming brothers bc how couldn't they

I wanted to ask if you know any other fics that are about them?

Thanks! :)

i had to make a real effort to keep this (relatively) short or it would just be hundreds of fics long. here is a very incomplete list of old favs and recent reads! i've definitely rec'd some of them already, but i think others are new to my fic rec tag.   you already mentioned a meditation on railroading and the long way home; i’m linking them again here for anyone else who wants them, because they are two of my favs and would kick off this list if you hadn’t already read them.   robin!jason era   Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding one of the most impressive things a story can do, imo, is pull off a really believable kid/teen pov—this does it twice, for both tim and jason, and it’s one of my fav rereads.

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by @bonesbuckleup i’ll always be reccing this one; it’s one of my favorite slow-burn hurt/comfort fics, and the tim & jason relationship in this context is very sweet + compelling as they deal with some rough edges unique to this story.

1-800-ROBIN by spqr jason volunteers for a mental health hotline, and this leads to bonding with tim. this has some incredibly tender moments and a great robin!jason pov.   red hood!jason era

cake is a four letter word by @sonosvegliato jason just wants to make a loaf of bread. then tim shows up. i love when a writer nails tim in peak Annoying Mode (❤️).

geolocation by @envysparkler i love a good forced-to-work-together oneshot, and this one gets bonus points for the sheer amount of “actions speak louder than words” going on with every single thing jason does.

Tim in a Bottle by @coyote-nebula (wip) angst and humor galore; tim and jason and their giant pile of unresolved issues all get locked in a walk-in freezer together. need i go on?

the trolley problem by @silk-scarlet-ribbons this is—i say with full appreciation—an absolute pangfest. jason is taken by an enemy, and that enemy has kidnapped a "random civilian" (you guessed it: tim) for leverage to get jason to do what they want. (also check out requiem for the forsaken by the same author, which is the fic that finally got my best friend to start caring about robins with me.)

Short-Term Memory Loss (Leads to Long-Term Sibling) by Vamillepudding a bittersweet + hopeful story in which red hood!jason gets temporarily whammed back to robin!jason, and bonds with tim.

Say Uncle by @megaerakles an incredibly fun twist on tim’s fake uncle with layers upon layers of identity shenanigans.

of crime lords and literature by @adelfie a wonderfully angsty, plotty fic in which tim ends up in danger as himself, and—after a very rocky start—jason is somehow the one who rescues him.

unequipped by Valkirin there’s a lot of jason saving tim on this list, and this story is a delightful reversal of that trope. red hood’s in trouble, and tim shows up to bail him out.

For All The Just Alike Birds by @sunflowersandink tim breaks his arm, and jason makes it his problem. featuring some excellent begrudgingly worried jason pov!

alternate universe

clean it like you mean it by @wynterstars (wip) i adore this jason-joins-the-family late AU; the central robin!tim & sort-of-civilian!jason dynamic is so compelling. marked as a wip, but currently leaves off in a very satisfying place!

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Different Meanings (Part 18)

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Danny got Ellie her treat and then practically dragged himself home. As he got closer he could sense Jason and was relieved to feel he had gone back to their home and not a safe house, Danny needed the security of their nest and his lover. That fight had gone really well, and Danny was glad to think that Dan might start doing better after this, but he was exhausted. 

He didn't bother with the door and just slid through the outer wall invisibly with a sigh. He dropped his invisibility, and then his ghostly form, letting his feet hit the floor with a soft thump. 

“I'm home,” Danny called, exhaustion dripping from his voice. The apartment smelled like fresh bread and savoury garlic but no one came to greet Danny right away, so he waited. It was a few minutes before Jason practically slunk out of the kitchen to meet Danny. “Are you done being mad?” Danny asked, his tone shamefully bitter.

“I’m so sorry Danny,” Jason said softly, helping Danny out of his Hyena costume, Danny groaned as he pulled off the stiff material breathing deeply with the restriction gone. At least he wasn’t sweaty underneath since the entire fight had been in his ghost form. 

“You should be. The meeting turned into a fucking intervention! And Batman has been snooping, or our people have been talking, or both, because he knew this wasn’t the first time. It was fucking miserable to have your siblings pitying me. You should have seen the looks on their faces, I think you broke their hearts. You have to make this right,” Danny accused him, baring his teeth at Jason. He was too tired to figure out how to say any of this nicely, besides he was still pissed and Jason needed a wake up call.

Jason winced and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. So much for trying to be a good influence on Tim, he didn’t want to know how much trust he had lost with his little brother. More important right now was how much he’d upset Danny.

“I’ll talk to them soon, I promise. You must be hungry after using your powers so much right? I made ravioli and garlic bread,” Jason asked Danny, nearly pleading for him to accept the food.

Danny was almost too tired and angry to accept, he almost said he was just going to go to bed. But Jason’s eyes were pleading and Danny couldn’t say no. “Fine,” He sighed, a ringing endorsement to be sure.

Jason nodded eagerly. “You go put on something comfortable, I’ll set the table and fix you a plate,” He promised and vanished back into the kitchen.

Danny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before he went into the bedroom to pull on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt. He looked longingly at the bed for a moment before shaking his head and wandering back into the kitchen. A reluctant smile pulled at the corners of his lips when he saw that Jason had set the table with some fresh flowers and lit some candles. It was nice, Jason was pulling out all the stops to make Danny feel loved and say sorry with more than just words. Danny could already feel it soothing the ache in his core as he went to sit down at the table.

Jason was quick to bring over a plate for him, loaded with a generous helping of homemade stuffed pasta and sauce, with garlic bread on the side. He set it down in front of Danny and kissed his temple softly. Danny’s attempts not to smile failed and he leaned into it just a little. “I’m still mad at you,” He mumbled.

“I know,” Jason said with a rueful little chuckle before he went to grab a plate for himself, as well as a drink for Danny before sitting across from him. He was sitting on the edge of his seat like he was ready to take off again, if Danny mentioned anything else he needed or wanted Jason would be quick to get it for him. He was full of nervous energy and trying not to let his knee bouncing shake the table as Danny dutifully picked at his food.

“It's good Jason, I'm just so tired,” Danny groaned when he was about halfway done. He propped his elbows on the table and dropped his face into his hands. 

“Just finish your plate, I know you're hungry,” Jason encouraged gently. “Then you can go to bed, and if you want me to sleep on the couch tonight I completely understand.” If Danny agreed to that Jason knew he wouldn't sleep at all but he would understand, they needed to have a serious conversation and they couldn't do that while Danny was this tired and upset.

Danny gave a half hearted snarl but he lifted his head and started eating again. “I think you should take the couch tonight,” he agreed with a sigh.

Jason's stomach dropped but he just nodded, looking down at his plate and not arguing with giving Danny the space that he needed. Danny finally finished eating and Jason got up, sliding around the table and leaning down to kiss Danny’s forehead as Jason took his plate. “Do you want seconds, Beloved?” 

“No thank you,” Danny yawned, shaking himself a little to get energy back into his limbs before he pushed his chair back and stood. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow okay? I love you.” 

“Of course, I love you too.” Jason replied, some of the tension easing from his shoulders because they would work through this. He had fucked up, but Danny still loved him, he and Danny were still committed to each other and tomorrow was a new day. They would work through this.

-----------

The bats didn't know what happened after Danny had left with Ellie, but Dick in particular hated the idea of what might have happened to Danny when he went home. Bruce wanted to barge right in but both Dick and Tim absolutely refused to let him be involved. Danny and Jason both had intense and not unreasonable mistrust for Bruce, and they loved each other regardless of if that love was healthy, they would not respond well to Bruce being involved in this, they might not react well to any external interference at all. But they needed to do something, didn't they? So a brotherly intervention it was.

They went in the morning, about ten AM and let themselves in rather then knocking and risking Jason not letting them in. They were practiced enough to avoid Jason's traps anyway, if Danny was nearby he might lash out but he's stop as soon as he realized who it was breaking into their house. 

“That better be my siblings,” Jason called from the kitchen with a growl in his voice. 

“It is. Dick and Tim,” Dick called back, following Jason's voice into the kitchen where he was up to his elbows on flour and aggressively kneading a ball of dough. 

“What do you want?” He grumbled, barely glancing at the two of them. 

“Where's Danny?” Dick asked nervously.

“He's still asleep. The fight yesterday took a lot out of him so he needs the rest. I'm making fresh bread for the whole fucking neighborhood,” Jason scowled, driving his fist into the dough again making Tim and Dick flinch a little. 

“Ya, about that Jason, about what happened yesterday-” Dick started and was cut off when Jason snarled. “Please don't get defensive Jay, we just want to help,” Dick said, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture.

“Did you already talk to Danny about this?” Jason asked without looking up from his kneading.

“Ya but he-”

“Let me guess, he blew up on you for bringing it up?” Jason asked with a wry expression.

“Ya,” Tim sighed.

“Ya he's like that, he hates anyone questioning our relationship. He gets really defensive, I just feel ashamed. I know it's not great, but it's also not as bad as you think it is. Danny agreed to this. I mean I'm in the dog house right now for hitting him in front of you but usually he really doesn't mind. It actually helps him too I think, and he asked for this.”

“Jay, that's not-” 

“No I don't mean “he asked for it,” in the shit way abusers do. I mean literally before we were even in a relationship he broke into my office while I was having a Pit episode and basically demanded I take my anger out on him so we could get back to work faster.” Jason interrupted, shaking his head and smiling a little at the memory. He finished kneading the dough and started to roll it out, planning to make this batch into cinnamon rolls. “Wouldn't take no for an answer.”

“Are you serious?” Tim broke in, sounding skeptical.

“Ya, you can ask him about it if you want to, though he’ll probably be pissed you’re interfering at all,” Jason said with a shrug. “He’s like that. We know that this… isn’t ideal and we’re working on it I promise but also, Danny is afraid of himself. He’s afraid of what he could become, how much damage he could do. Feeling controlled by me eases his fears of himself, and since I think he’s more scared of himself then just about anything, besides maybe being recaptured by the GIW, he still feels like he needs to be controlled. 

“I don’t know how long it’ll take him to trust himself again but until then I think he’s scared of things changing. I think that’s why he lashes out when people try to bring it up to him. When some of our employees tried to talk to him about it he blew up too. I’m glad you guys care about him, I’m glad they do too, but this is our relationship and we’re handling it in a way that works for both of us.”

“Jason, are you sure?” Dick asked worriedly. “You don’t exactly have a model of a healthy relationship, with how you grew up, and Bruce is not exactly a romantic. We love you, and Danny, and we just want what’s best for you I promise. We’re not here to accuse you of anything.”

“Ya, and I assume you had to bully Bruce out of coming and actually accusing,” Jason chuckled, glancing up to see Dick give a sheepish smile. Tim was still stone faced, Jason got the impression he was quite mad at him. “Thanks for that. I know the two of you mean well, and I know I fucked up yesterday.” A timer dinged and he turned to pull a couple loaves of bread that had just finished baking out of the oven and set them on the counter to cool. The next batch that had finished proofing went in.

“Babe? Who are you talking to?” Danny called from the hall and all three of them stiffened immediately. Looking like deer caught in headlights as Danny came around the corner and spotted them. “Oh,” He sounded, voice flat and face expressionless. “Is there coffee?” He asked Jason, firmly ignoring Dick and Tim.

“Ya there is,” Jason said, quickly pouring Danny a cup and passing it to him. Danny came forward and bullied Dick off of his barstool still without acknowledging him. 

“Hey-” Dick started indignantly only to shut up when Jason hissed at him.

Danny took a few long swallows from his coffee before he sighed and finally looked at Dick and Tim. “So what do you two want?” He said coolly. “You weren’t invited.”

“We were just worried about you-” Dick started and Danny hissed sharply, interrupting him. 

“We don’t want your worry. If you’re here because you’re concerned~ You can leave again,” He snarled at Dick.

“I’m not here because I’m worried,” Tim spoke up, though his expression was still blank. “I’m here because I’m hurt.” 

That made both Jason and Danny wince, Dick on the other hand looked betrayed. “Tim, this isn’t about us! This is about-”

“Shut up,” Danny snapped. “You should leave,” He told Dick before turning back towards Tim. “You can stay if you want to.”

Dick glanced back and forth between Danny and Tim, and seemed a little betrayed when Tim avoided eye contact and stayed on his stool. “Fine,” Dick sighed, sliding off his stool and resting a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Text me okay?” He asked softly before looking up at Jason and Danny again. “You too, I’m just… worried about both of you, I care about both of you. However I can be there for you,” he said before slipping out of the room.

Danny watched him go and waited till he heard the door close before he let his shoulders drop with a sigh, taking another sip of his coffee. Jason shook his head and grabbed a plate, pulling the cinnamon buns out of the oven and putting a fresh one on the waiting plate, sliding it across the counter to Danny. He gave Jason a grateful smile and then bit into the burning hot bun, Jason could practically hear it sizzling on Danny’s cool pallet but Danny never minded.

 “It’s good, it’ll be better when it’s cooled enough to ice,” Danny mumbled through a full mouth. Jason rolled his eyes fondly. “Right,” Danny said, putting the bun back down and turning back towards Tim. “I think I can guess why, but can you tell me how what happened yesterday made you feel so we can talk about this properly?” He asked gently. 

Tim looked down, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to organize his thoughts. To give him something else to focus on Jason poured him a cup of coffee and handed it over, Tim gave a mumbled thanks. Jason nodded and grabbed a cup for himself before turning off the oven and sitting down, he still had more dough he could bake, but he could freeze it and go back to it later too and this was more important. 

“I guess I just… look up to you guys,” Tim muttered, clutching the mug in both hands. “My parents treated their marriage like a business exchange, and then there’s Bruce… Dick has pretty good relationships but we’ve never been that close. Your relationship is-” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee and wincing a little when he burned his mouth. “I guess I saw you both as a model of a good relationship, and now…”

“It’s okay Tim,” Danny said, giving him a patient smile. “I get why you feel that way, and I’m flattered you’ve seen us as role models-”

“Though it’s a horrible choice really,” Jason interrupted, earning a gentle smack on the arm from Danny, and a suppressed snort of laughter from Tim. 

“But we’re not perfect people, and sometimes we fuck up. Jason fucked up yesterday and he knows it,” He said, glancing over at Jason who sighed and nodded, looking down. “We’re going to talk about that and work through it, but I need you to understand that it’s not as big of an issue as it would be if someone hit you, for instance, or Dick. I’m preternatural, I’m much harder to hurt, and I heal very quickly, usually in seconds. 

“More then that I think I mentioned how violence is a culture for ghosts, it’s expected, it’s a bonding activity. What Batman was talking about that happens behind closed doors? I want that, I volunteered for that. I can’t really fight back because I’m so much stronger and I worry about hurting Jason, but the violence between us doesn’t have the same meaning that it would in a relationship between two humans. 

“What Jason did last night wasn’t wrong because he hit me, he’s allowed to hit me, we’ve discussed it and we have understandings and aftercare set up. What he did was wrong because he did it in front of others, which is against the rules we’ve set up for our relationship. But most of the time it’s like… you asking Kon to spar so you can really go all out without having to worry about hurting him because he’s a lot more durable then another human would be. Do you do that?” Danny asked for clarification and Tim nodded warily, Danny nodded back. “Right, and that’s probably fun for him too isn’t it? 

“It’s a bonding activity for the two of you, you get your frustration out, and I’m sure he enjoys getting to see how strong you are.” Danny smiled mischievously when Tim blushed and spluttered. 

“Jason and I have a relationship that works for us. It wouldn’t work for two humans, but we’re not fully human, either of us. I’m only half, and even though he’s mostly human he was dead long enough to keep some of those instincts. I get mad because I don’t want to have to explain our relationship to someone who has no business meddling in it! But you deserve an explanation, so I hope it’s helped you understand better now that you have one.”

Danny sat back in his seat and sipped his coffee, Tim drank too, mechanically as he processed all that information. Jason fidgeted in his seat and tried to take inspiration from Danny’s patience as he sat quietly waiting for Tim to finish processing and think of something to say. Jason almost wanted to jump in to break the silence just because of how awkward and uncomfortable he was feeling, but that wouldn’t help right now. To keep himself from speaking he got up to mix a frosting for the cinnamon buns and frost them before handing Danny a fresh one, now iced since they were cool enough. 

“What do you think about this, Jason? I know you mentioned him asking for this earlier, but you were quiet through all that?” Tim finally spoke up, making Jason startle. 

“Ya, I agree with it. Mostly anyway, I’m working on my anger, because sometimes I don’t like the energy that I bring to our interactions, you know? Sometimes I know I’m not doing things for the right reasons, and I don’t like how often I’ve let it take control and make me fuck up. So I sure as hell wouldn’t look up to me, but everything Danny said is true too,” Jason said a bit awkwardly. 

Tim nodded slowly and let out a long breath. “Okay, I think I understand, thank you for explaining. I’ll try and explain that to Dick too, and Bruce if you don’t mind?” He asked, glancing back and forth between Danny and Jason. Danny shrugged and looked at Jason, who hesitated and then nodded, mostly because he hoped that would get Batman off their backs some. “You should call Diana though, and soon.”

“Right, I’ll do that today,” Jason promised with a soft sigh, that was going to be a hard conversation. She was going to be disappointed in him and he hated that.

“Good,” Tim said, nodding before turning his attention back to Danny. “Okay, I’m not going to say this again after this because I know it upsets you. But if anything changes or it gets to be too much you can talk to any of us. I don’t want you to think that just because we’re Jason’s family we’ll take his side.”

“No, if anything it’s the opposite,” Danny said with a scoff. “You guys are always at each other's throats. You could really do with a family vacation or something.”

“You know that’s not a bad idea,” Tim said, a slow smile spreading across his face. 

“No,” Jason said with dawning horror. 

“I’ll tell Alfred to make sure Bruce doesn’t turn it into a team building exercise. Can I take some of those cinnamon buns to go?”

[incorrectbatfam]

Wayne Tower yelp reviews pls (wrong answers ofc)

★★★☆☆ Disappointed but not surprised

Was invited to the Wayne Gala held at the Tower this year to accommodate special guests from the Justice League. Was photographed by reporter Clark Kent. Wanted to meet Superman but he didn't show up. Food and atmosphere was good. Got told off for swinging from the chandelier. Why have a chandelier if not for swinging?

★☆☆☆☆ Not even gonna dignify it with a title

I'd give zero stars if I could. The CEO is a massive fucking asshole. He's full of nothing but smooth-brained takes. He claims he'll be there when you need him but never shows up. And when you RIGHTFULLY resent him, he'll turn around and pretend YOU are the bad guy. That isn't even touching on his AUDACITY to replace you so soon after you leave. You think you know this man, you think you've grown to trust him, and then he goes and stabs you in the back. Believe me when I say RUN. Get as FAR away from this company and that bastard Bruce Wayne as you possibly can.

★★☆☆☆ SOS

I work here. Too many emails. Half the execs are Boomers who can't export a PDF. The break room is out of coffee. My dad won't stop visiting the office. When will the nightmare end???

★★★★☆ Imperfect but respectable

I had the opportunity to visit Wayne Tower on Bring Your Child To Work Day. The building is up to code and I was able to view all the health code certifications. I admire that Wayne Enterprises takes care of its employees by allowing ample vacation time, in-house daycare, and well-maintained recreation spaces. The cafeteria did not have as many vegetarian options as I would have preferred, but I have been informed that they operate on a rotating menu, so I shall revisit again next week and possibly amend my review. I would leave five stars but I ran into Tim Drake on the way out and that brought the whole experience down a notch.

★☆☆☆☆ No Chipotle

Was told there was a Chipotle here. Did not find Chipotle.

★★★☆☆ Badge entry didn't work

I'm on the night shift at the company's call center. One time I was already running late but for some reason I couldn't badge in. The janitor wouldn't let me through even though I had proof I was supposed to be here. Had to escalate to the CEO. Still better than working the Batburger drive-thru though.

★★★★★ Hi Dad

Hi Dad.

★★★★☆ Good but...

I love the bathrooms. They're easy to find and very accessible for a wheelchair user like myself. There's plenty of space for me to navigate and the products are top-notch, especially the hot towels. The toaster oven under the sink also doesn't make sense, but then again, my lockscreen is Nightwing so I can't judge.

★★☆☆☆ No cats allowed

I got written permission from the CEO himself to bring my cat to the office, but the doorman turned me away. Next time, there should be better communication between the employees.

★★★★☆ Rooftop makes for good date

I brought my girlfriend up here for our anniversary date. The building has a beautiful view of the city and the restaurant was great. The bread was a little dry, but nothing that a little butter couldn't fix. Unfortunately, she's an on-call detective and we had to cut our evening short, but that's not the staff's fault.

★☆☆☆☆ Got called Bri'ish

Someone called me Bri'ish.

[miryum]

"Pilot"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

Richard Grayson was surveying his detectives, assessing whether or not they were ready.

Cassandra Cain was glaring at her computer, angrily typing away. Dick had to get someone to fix her computer a week ago and he really didn’t want a repeat. But, seeing as she had yet to punch a hole through the screen, Dick was satisfied. Status: Ready.

Stephanie Brown was in the kitchen, humming to herself as she lathered peanut butter onto some bread. Dick couldn’t see the beginning of a toaster fire, so he moved onto his next detective. Status: Ready.

Timothy Drake’s eyes never left his computer as he chugged his fourth cup of coffee. Dick made a mental note to cut him off. Luckily, Tim had gotten a full four hours of sleep last night, so he shouldn’t pass out. Status: Ready.

Damian al Ghul technically wasn’t part of the precinct, but he was a loose cannon nonetheless. From Damian’s phone, Dick could faintly hear the sound of a dog’s bark, and based on the slight upturn of the boy’s lips, Dick guessed that he was enamoured by animal videos. At least he wasn’t causing chaos. Yet. Status: Ready.

Jason Todd was finishing some reports Dick had assigned him, but his eyes kept flickering to the unfinished book on his desk. In the past, Dick had to confiscate books and lock them in his desk drawer to keep Jason focused on his work. Somehow, however, the boy had found a new book, or roped Cass into helping him steal it from Dick’s desk. For now, though, he was occupied with his work. Status: Ready.

And then there was one. Y/n L/n. Dick sighed heavily, preparing himself for the shenanigans she would surely have gotten herself into. Dick’s gaze swept to the desk opposite Jason’s but… Y/n was sitting in her seat, cataloguing evidence. Dick’s mouth fell open. It was a miracle! What did he do to deserve this?! And on today of all days! Dick was silently celebrating when Y/n’s phone chimed and she peeked at it, a grin instantly coming to her face. She slowly turned her head to meet Damian’s Cheshire smile from behind his phone screen. 

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked. Damian nodded. Dick whimpered, pleading to his gods that whatever they were planning would come to a halt. The new Captain was due any moment and he couldn’t risk things not going perfectly. “Terrific,” Y/n cackled. 

Gotham had been gloomy that day, as it always was, but the dark sky was instantly forgotten as the elevator door hissed open and out stepped Captain Wayne. He was greeted by Y/n blasting Hello - I just came to say Hello sung by Lady Aqua on her small, Bluetooth speaker.

“Hello!” Y/n called to the emerging Captain, “And welcome to the sixty-sixth precinct in Gotham! Or as I like to call it, one six away from Hell and the devil herself.” She sang along with the track, “I just came to say hello! Steph! Now!”

Stephanie threw her hand up and let pieces of confetti fall to the floor. “I’ll clean it up later!” she shouted to Dick over the music.

Dick cradled his face in his hands. Captain Wayne did not seem pleased. Dick sighed before plastering on his award-winning smile and striding up to his new Captain. “Captain Wayne. I’m Sergeant Grayson. It’s a pleasure to have you here with us.”

Captain Wayne held a hand up and Dick slowly closed his mouth, his unshaken hand dropping to his side. “I am your new commanding officer, Captain Bruce Wayne. Sergeant Grayson? A word.”

“Of course,” he nodded, following Captain Wayne into the man’s new office. Dick shot Y/n a warning glare just as the music changed to Classic by MKTO. She bopped her head song to the beat, giving her superior a thumbs-up.

Damian didn’t look up as Captain Wayne marched by. After the door clicked shut, the civilian administrator muttered, “anyone else get a gay vibe?”

Y/n slowly turned the music down until it was a hush in the background. She hummed along before stating, “he and I are gonna be besties!” Steph cringed and Jason huffed a laugh.

“Sergeant Grayson,” Captain Wayne stood stoically, gazing out at his new team. “We served together in the fifteenth. How have you been?”

“Good, good. My wife and I just had twin baby girls.” Dick pulled out his wallet to show a family photo with him and Kori cuddling two little girls and grinning at the camera. 

“Adorable,” Captain Wayne barely glanced at the picture. “Tell me about your detective squad.”

“Okay.” Dick turned to stare out the office window with his senior officer. “Damian is our civilian administrator. He… has opinions and can rudely say them at inappropriate times, but the few times he does his job, he’s incredibly good at it. He grew up with L/n and that’s mainly how he got the job. He’s putting himself through law school and is surprisingly top of his class.”

“Damian, I need you to catalogue these files for me,” Cass said.

Damian held up a finger, typing away on his phone.

“Damian,” Cass repeated. 

“Hold on. I need to send a scathing email to my professor.”

Cass hummed and said, “fair. Take your time.”

“Cass is tough, fair, and impossible to read. Her specialty is silence, both in the field and in the precinct.” Dick exhaled, nodding towards the woman’s desk. “She’s brilliant and somewhat terrifying, but we all know she loves us.”

“How long has she been sitting there?” Y/n whispered.

“It’s been eight minutes and thirty one seconds,” Tim said, fixated on his watch.

“Damn,” Steph murmured. “What’s her record?”

“Eleven minutes and fifteen seconds,” Y/n answered automatically. They were all carefully watching Cass who was scowling at the wall. 

“Alright, everyone!” Dick barged into the briefing room and the three detectives cried out in protest. “First order of-”

“Dick! Shut up!” Y/n shushed him. “You’re disturbing Cass! This could be a new record.”

“Wait wait!” Stephanie slapped Y/n’s arm. “She’s still in the zone!”

Y/n gasped. “You got lucky, Grayson.”

“Stephanie is our optimistic cinnamon roll.” Dick beamed and gestured to Steph who was faithfully sweeping up the confetti. “She’s super dedicated to her job and no one can stay mad at her. She’d do anything for this precinct, as we would her.”

“Hey, Tim? Tiiiiiiim… Timmy!” Steph tapped his desk. “That’s your eighth cup of coffee.”

“It’s decaf!” Tim protested.

“No, it’s not. I watched you make it.” Jason pipped up. 

“You’re not helping!” Tim glared across the bullpen. Steph clicked her tongue accusingly, pointing at Jason to help prove her point.

“Fine.” Tim dumped his coffee in the trash. Steph ruffled Tim’s hair before bouncing back to her desk. 

“Tim is a coffee addict. He may be the most academically gifted on the team, except when it comes to his sleep schedule. He’s dreamed about being a police officer his entire life and his face when he made detective… you should’ve seen him.” Dick chuckled, shaking his head.

After Steph walked away, Tim fished his coffee out of the trash and quickly chugged it. Jason frowned at him disapprovingly.

“Jason grew up on the streets. He had a… bad home life and was surrounded by gangs as a kid. He was sure he would end up behind bars instead of putting others behind them. An older officer, Alfred, picked him up off the streets. Jason pulled himself up from his bootstraps and is now here. Contrary to his large, tank-like frame, he's just a kid who loves Jane Austen.”

“There’s a perp running around,” Dick said in the briefing room. “Who keeps breaking into people’s houses and stealing oddly specific items. Certain books, a vase, even a pillow-”

“It's a crazy ex-girlfriend,” Jason called out. 

“What?”

“The owners of the apartments all just got out of a relationship. The ex is stealing things that were meaningful from the relationship,” Jason explained. “The timeline adds up too. The robberies had time in between them for a relationship to grow and foster- a year or two apart.”

“Like your sex life,” Y/n snickered, high-fiving Cass.

“And Detective L/n?”

Dick shook his head, smiling softly against his will. “Y/n is my best detective. She’s always wanted to be the good guy and solve the hardest challenges. The only challenge she hasn’t overcome is how to grow up.”

“Well put,” Wayne raised an eyebrow. 

“Thank you!” Dick mentally patted himself on the back. “I’ve spent a lot of therapy time talking about her. But you can’t tell her that. She already has a big ego.”

“Noted.”

“I’ll need a list of your employees and anyone who has a key-”

Crash! Bang-bang!

“Really?” Jason turned to Y/n who was messing with a mini electric keyboard. “What are you? Twelve?”

In response, Y/n hit a button and a fart noise filled the air. “And I’d like to apologise for my partner,” Jason rolled his eyes. “Her parents didn’t give her enough attention.”

Y/n loudly asked, “if I solve this case, can I get this for free?”

“If you solve this case, I’ll buy it for you,” Jason deadpanned. 

“Yay! We’re looking for a perp with a buzz cut (ew, by the way) and a dragon tattoo on his left forearm.” Y/n stuck her tongue out at Jason. The man just frowned in question. “I have a confidential informant.” Y/n’s voice turned low and menacing. “He spent years in this place, slowly losing his sense of self. Watching, learning, listening… WE HAD A SPY ON THE INSIDE! HERCULES MUFFIN MAN!” Y/n proudly held up a small, fuzzy teddy bear. “Did I forget to mention he’s a nanny cam?” She turned Hercules Muffin Man around to show a camera implanted into his head. Her phone showed a grainy video of a guy breaking into the electronic store. “Oops!” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. “Guess I get a piano for my desk.”

“You’re dismissed,” Wayne nodded to Dick who saluted. “Please ask Damian to join me.”

“Yes, boss?” A minute later, Damian stood in the doorway.

“Close the door behind you,” Wayne instructed. “Tell me about L/n.”

“Y/n? I’m assuming you’re inquiring about personal details because I’m sure Richard gave you the professional. Y/n’s in love with Jason.” He shrugged, staring at his new boss with a look that asked Is that what you wanted to know?

“Oh.” Wayne didn’t know what else to say other than, “Does he like her back?” He cleared his throat. 

“I don’t know,” Damian muttered. “I know my best friend, but I know shit about Jason.” Captain Wayne took a breath and excused Damian with a wave of his hand. He rubbed his temples, wondering what he had done to deserve the DA assigned him this precinct.

Bruce set up a photo of him and Clark as Rasputin blared on Y/n’s speakers.

[medusagorgongirl1]

I'm sick of this Fandom saying that Dick only eats cereal and that the only thing Tim can cook is a cup of coffee and treating Jason like he's some sort of michelin star chef, like seriously? that's it?

Dick came from a circus full of people with different cultures and backgrounds. Idk if y'all have every gone to one of those big weddings that takes place in your cousins back yard but fucking everyone comes together with food. You make the things you know and love and share them with the people your friends and family know and love. And also Dick was a kid that loved attention, of course he would sit in the kitchen and be entertained by someone while his parents were training. I'm convinced that Dick knows how to cook the most random, homey, comfort food dishes but like nothing 'ordinary'. Like that man can make the best goulash you've had in your life (only with the good paprika), he makes vegetarian momos that even Damian can't resist, his challah had more jew in it than Bruce does. But if you ask him to bring a casserole to a get together, he'll fucking bluescreen and buy a pre-made potato salad.

I agree that Jason is a good cook. As a kid I was poor, but in my later teenage years we were more middle class. That change in being able to buy ingredients, to actually make something homemade with is insane. I'm convince that one day he showed Alfred one of those '3 ingredients browine recipe' and asked if that wasn't too much to use and Alfred introduced him to the concept 'the more ingredients the better taste'. That said, as an adult I don't think he was making all these grand dishes. He doesn't live with Bruce, and frequently changes safe houses. He doesnt have the dishware to make these extraordinary foods. Like he'll make some fettuccine alfredo, but those aren't homemade noodles. He's not making a cheesecake, but he'll make a nice banana bread. I also think that he would be a bit nostalgic for the foods of his childhood like we all are in a way, but he would better it. Like cheap ass Ramen? That man is making a steaming bowl of pho. Baked potatoes? Creamy potatoes au Gratin. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? Fruit tarts with peanut butter cookies. He's not phenomenal, but he's resourceful.

I said this in a previous post but Tim can cook goddammit. He grew up in a big home as tween with an unlimited fridge. He did what kids do; make really shitty food until they understand cooking. He would thrive off of reciving praise from his parents if he informed them on how independent he is. I know he tried to learn how to make all of their favorite meals until he could recite the recipe word for word. And I don't think that left even after he became robin. Because things were shaky with Bruce for a while, and Tim needed to prove himself. He definitely found out how to make the most tasty protein filled post workout foods because he was determined to be a good robin. I think that as an adult a lot of those would stick too. Like he would know how to make a lot of standard meals, and knows how to read relatively re create a recipe. He isn't useless in the kitchen just because he's rich.

Stephanie is always neglected in these and I refuse too, I love her. I think that she would be kinda a combination of Jason and Tim, like she knows as a vigilante (especially one always underestimated) she really needs to prove she can hold her own and I think that means that she would care about her diet in relation to her workout regime. Her diet would probably consist of a lot protein, fiber and vegetables. But also I think she would be more nostalgic that Jason. Because who can't help but romanticize the sight of your mom making your birthday cake and adding a drop of magic that turns it purple. If it comes down to the frozen pizza or the frozen stir fry, she might choose the pizza because it's the same brand her mom would make on Fridays. She knows how to make the foods that are good for her (to an extent, similar to Tim in that way) but she would also be able to make more of her comfort foods. But above all else, she's a sucker for convenience store meals. She's a patsa roni after patrol kinda gal. And some days she'll add in steamed broccoli, but the nights she's really feeling it, she might just turn on some old cartoon and sit on the floor with her pasta roni.

Damian is more interesting. Always being wealthy has him thinking cooking a bit beneath him. BUT, he also how easy it is to poison someone by making their meals. I feel like in the league of assassin's he learned to detect poison in food and knows how to get it back up. But, it's easier to detect that type of thing with plants. I think he knows which plants are poisonous simply by sight, taste and smell. And besides the obvious reason behind his vegan/vegetarianism I think that is also one of the contributing factors. But I still think it took him a while to come around to Alfred and ask to learn how to make more of the foods he can eat. I don't think that would happen until after he has since how the memories from cooking affect Dick, how cooking gives Jason a sense of freedom and control, and Tim independence. I think he would come to recognize the importance of being able to do something for yourself without assistance. I think he would begin with shyly approaching Alfred vegan recipe he found (because vegan/vegetarians recipes are finally becoming more mainstream and popular on social media), and Alfred will agree because he wants Damian to request certain foods. He wants Damian to truly enjoy meals and not just tolerate something Alfred makes. So I think Damian would know how to make a lot of staple dishes, but also a lot of really yummy vegan dishes. But I also think he would have a slight nostalgia for foods more regional to Nanda Parbat. Specifically I think he would miss spicy food and that it would become necessary in his favorite dishes. I think he would be a sucker for a nice lentil soup, so spicy that only Jon can stomach it.

Sorry for the long post, but this has been on my mind a bunch lately.

[breadandblankets]

wake up in the morning, see people trying to invent slurs for metas, enough internet for today

[breadbrobin]

bread’s masterlist

all of my current fics!!

all fics are x reader unless specified otherwise

percy jackson and the olympians / heroes of olympus

luke castellan

“doc” ~ 1.2k ~ gn!child of apollo reader ~ luke is always hanging around the infirmary with a new injury. you hate it (do you really?)

call it what you want ~ 2.1k ~ fem!daughter of aphrodite reader ~ he fell first, you fell harder, and all at once.

jealousy, jealousy ~ 0.7k ~ fem!reader ~ you weren't jealous. not at all.

campfire games ~ 1.6k ~ fem!daughter of ares reader ~ bets are fun, until they aren't. you're fine though. luke knows you're an absolute badass.

lavender roses ~ 3.3k ~ fem!daughter of persephone reader ~ everything thinks red roses are synonymous with the perfect love. you believe that lavender roses deserve more love, and luke believes you're worthy of all the love in the world—you're both just bad at communicating it.

two hearts ~ 3.5k ~ fem!daughter of apollo reader ~ people used to have four arms, four legs and two hearts, and once they were split, they would spend their whole lives searching for their other half. luke always had a knack for finding you.

lego blocks ~ 1.4k ~ gn!child of eos reader ~ parental figures are hard to come by at camp half-blood, so you and luke (barely old enough to not need them yourselves) take up the mantle where you can. and, well, it's the hermes cabin, so it's a little more chaotic than anyone bargained for.

anxiety calling ~ 0.6k ~ gn!anxious child of ares reader ~ anxiety always hits at the worst time, but luke always knows just how to help.

revenge is best served red ~ 0.8k ~ fem!reader ~ little pranks are a great way to keep a relationship fun, and if they involve lipstick? well, neither of you are going to complain too much.

“in every other universe” ~ 1.0k ~ gn!reader ~ luke said he'd love you in every other universe. luke was many things, but he wasn't a liar.

clarisse la rue

the trees ~ 2.5k ~ fem!daughter of apollo reader ~ part 1: you have a very specific skill set that helps your team win capture the flag, and clarisse thinks it's fascinating. in fact, she thinks you're as fascinating as you think she is.

fate ~ 3.2k ~ fem!daughter of apollo reader ~ part 2: clarisse is being weirdly standoffish, and you're not one to cave to that, no matter how much you like her.

skipping stones ~ 0.8k ~ gn!reader ~ it's been a rough day for you, and clarisse doesn't know how to help, as much as she wants to try.

nice ~ 2.0k ~ fem!daughter of nyx reader ~ neither you or clarisse were very nice to anyone, except each other. and sometimes, not even each other.

leo valdez

friendship bracelets ~ 1.2k ~ gn!child of demeter reader ~ friendship bracelets are a love language in themselves. it's a shame leo can't wear the ones you make him.

marauders era / harry potter

james potter

our little affair ~ 1.2k ~ gn!reader ~ before three months ago, you hated james potter, and everyone knew it. now, you're meeting him dark hallways and he's leaving hickeys on your neck, and someone is going full detective to find out just who you're seeing.

cedric diggory

the bet — part two part three (x reader) ~ 1.1k, 2.7k, 1.7k ~ fem!best friend reader ~ you could turn down many things. food, romantic advances, friendship. but you could never turn down a good bet.

the bet (x oc)

detective comics (dc)

tim drake

blanket hog ~ 1.7k ~ gn!reader ~ you'd never been close with tim, but now you were sharing a bed with him—too close. far too close—and you didn't know what to think.

lazy mornings ~ 0.5k ~ gn!reader ~ a warm, lazy morning with tim can make any worry you've ever had melt away.

comment here to join my taglists!

[ragnarokhound]

Hi wife. Staring at the green dot on your profile like my boy Gatsby and sending increasingly ridiculous asks in the hope of winning your heart.

not to bring up chapell roan, but have we considered the lyric “You could kiss a hundred boys in bars” for recently broken up jaytim?

I’m thinking Tim freaks out about love and affection™️ and totally ghosts Jason after their first kiss/near death experience. Jason runs into him at a club a few weeks later and sees that Tim is potentially kissing boys that ARE NOT JASON — cue angsty drama, maybe another near death experience where they save each other, and jason figuring out Tim ghosted because he’s a big chicken. Then (important for plot and character development) they have dirty dirty sex

Hi wife. You're yearning for something you already hold. Now come inside off the dock, the only thing you'll catch is your death of cold out here 💖 (I swear one of these days I'll find you dramatically floating face down in the swimming pool and it's gonna give me a goddamn heart attack /affectionate)

I'm so glad you know exactly what I like because a) good luck babe plays in my head 24/7 it was absolutely in the rotation when I was writing Secretary fic so how dare you and b) this is so up my alley for jaytim like you don't even know skdjfjks

In fact it's so up my alley that I'm gonna have to slap my response to this one under a cut cause it spiralled out of control:

Idk if you've noticed but I am deeply obsessed with Tim figuring out his own feelings re: Jason first and having a mcfreaking meltdown about them lmao.

Between the two of them, imo, he is much more of an anxious overthinker who will think he's making the most tactically sound decision because he really has thought it through with all the information he has access to -- but he always fails to give full weight to considering the best case scenario when it's something he wants. When it's something he feels selfish about. And boy, does he consider Jason Todd a best case scenario.

And mmmm I am so very here for jealous! and possessive!Jason. Especially when Jason didn't realize what he was feeling until after he's already acted on it. It is the bread and butter. Bonus points if he's not even trying to show it to Tim. Tim isn't the problem.

For instance: Tim's in the club, looking to see if he's just horny and needs to get it out of his system, come on, I cannot muck up the good thing I have just because I want some fuck-- and his prospective dance partners just start to dry up.

Because the big guy who looks like he's done time and a half keeps glaring daggers, keeps shoving his old partners off the dancefloor or knocking into them when they've come back with drinks for the cute twink they were totally gonna score with. Not anymore.

Jason thinks he's doing it because he's looking out for Tim. Because anyone with eyes can tell they just want Tim for one thing, and he deserves so much better than that.

When Tim realizes what's going on, he's already been grinding on this hot buff guy who came up behind him for two songs in a row. Tall, dark and silent keeps stopping Tim from turning around, and he doesn't slip a hand any lower despite all of Tim's silent offerings. Weird, but the anonymous gentleman act is kinda hot, so--

And then he glances at the round, silvered mirror in the corner. He clocks the white streak in the head of black hair dipped low over his, the gun callouses running rough over his bare stomach. He stiffens up in Jason's arms just long enough that he knows Jason knows he's been made. He drags him off to the bathrooms ("come on, handsome") and the second the doors shut and they're alone, he whirls on him.

They argue. Tim is embarrassed and it's coming out as anger, Jason is annoyed (and still processing the revelation he'd been having on the dancefloor, the one where Tim was lithe and warm in his arms, his long fingers twining through what hair he could reach at Jason's nape, where he smelled like sweat and musk and Tim and Jason found himself wanting to know if the gleaming patch of skin in the bare crook of his neck would taste the same--)

Jason is annoyed and has no explanation that will satisfy Tim. He wants to know why Tim ghosted him when the last mission they worked ended in bloody, near-disaster, and the case it was tied to still hasn't fully wrapped. He gets taking a few days off to recover, but it's been longer than that. Way longer, with no contact, no explanation, no 'I got shot so I'm gonna need a week or maybe three'. Wasn't Tim going to finish the job? He told Jason he would help. Did he lie?

It yanks the rug out from under Tim. Makes him feel small, and selfish. He promises Jason he'll come back to the case, he just had some things to figure out. But that's done now.

Jason loses the thread on his irritation as Tim deflates, hates the hunched, defensive hug he's giving himself, looking vulnerable and tired in his scanty clubbing fit under the cold LEDs flickering above the bathroom sink. He catches sight of the fresh pink scar, the one he'd just felt out under his palms not ten minutes ago with something bordering on relief. (And hunger.)

He wants to reach out, "Tim--?"

But Tim brushes past him, fleeing out the door and disappearing through the crowd before Jason can stop him.

-

Everything is fine. Totally 100% fine and dandy--

--is what they both are telling themselves.

Tim is doing his best to stifle his feelings, stomps down on them ruthlessly every time he catches them flaring up, and is counting the seconds until this is finally over and he can get to work dousing the massive fucking torch he's been holding in peace.

Tim comes back to help Jason with the rest of the case, but he's palpably distant, brittle when they banter-- and Jason hates it. He still remembers how Tim felt against him, how he'd melted into Jason, silently begging to be touched. For Jason to touch him.

It's been quietly rearranging some things in Jason's head. He's replayed their argument in the bathroom over and over. He thinks about Tim, about the timing of his disappearance--

(About the bullet he'd dug out of Tim's body, silver and red, and the desperate flow of his blood over Jason's wrists. About the night spent monitoring Tim's condition in a rundown safehouse, feeding him ice chips and brushing the hair out of his eyes, brushing off every bullshit attempt he made to tell Jason he was fine.)

--about figuring things out and avoiding Jason's eyes. And Jason wonders.

They have one last big bust to make, after days of stewing in their own unresolved tension. It goes down textbook; easy. In and out.

Except, at the last minute, during extraction, Jason gets shot. And Tim freaks.

He puts their plane on autopilot the moment they're clear (maybe a few moments before they're clear, actually) and dashes to where Jason is groaning just inside the bay doors. He's tight-lipped and grim-faced; his hands are fast and efficient, but shaking.

"Tim," Jason tries to say, but he gets shushed with a glare.

"Don't talk," Tim clips out. He undoes straps and disarms panels Jason thought were secret, and then he pulls out a pair of medical scissors.

"Tim--" Jason tries again, more urgently, but Tim doesn't even glance at him, just cuts through Jason's undershirt to expose--

"Oh," he breathes.

"Yeah. I'm okay," Jason sighs.

The crunched up bullet is caught in Jason's last layer of kevlar. The round they'd fired on him had been dramatically big, but Jason gets in firefights basically 24/7. He's padded to hell and back, even more than your average Bat. He'll have a wicked bruise and his rib might be sore for a week, but that's about it.

That's it.

Tim is still for an achingly long ten seconds, breathing shallow as he stares at Jason's armor. The proof that it's effective. And then he collapses.

He sits back heavily, elbows on his bent knees as he rubs his pale face. Jason watches as he visibly tries to pull himself back together, but relief keeps shaking him apart. Jason sits up.

Tim startles, tries to stand; Jason doesn't let him.

"Come here," he entreats, tugging Tim closer, firmly by the knees, to sit between Jason's legs with his thighs around Jason's waist, trembling under Jason's hands. "Don't go."

Tim twists his fists in Jason's jacket collar, eyes squeezing shut as Jason tips their foreheads together. Like he can't stand it. Caught in fight or flight-- but flight has been denied him.

"I know," Jason murmurs. "But don't go this time. Don't."

Tim drags in gasping breaths, and Jason runs soothing palms over his thighs, his waist, his arm, his neck. He thinks he understands. This feeling is too big. And if Tim is feeling half of what Jason feels, he gets why he'd want to run from it.

"Don't," he begs against Tim's mouth anyway. He kisses Tim until he moans into Jason, until he's sunk his fingers into Jason's hair; until he's sure he'll stay.

--AND THEN THEY HAVE DIRTY DIRTY SEX ON THE FLOOR OF THE PLANE AMEN