#A TIM with a full bread

[coochiequeens]

I've been posting regularly since the start of Covid. And I still wasn't prepared to start my day reading this headline.

By Shay Woulahan December 20, 2023

A trans-identified male has appeared in court after being accused of dumping soiled adult diapers outside a children’s nursery and stealing clinical waste bags. Abbi Taylor, born Martin Tarling, was also accused of hiding in a public bin with soiled diapers, smearing excrement on children’s milk bottles and removing items from a waste receptacle outside a nursery.

Taylor, 47, has been charged with 9 counts related to incidents that occurred between October 2022 and November 2023. The charges include four counts of dumping bags of toxic materials, namely diapers containing human waste, at nurseries in South Tyneside, an offense under the Environmental Protection Act.

Taylor also faces a charge of outraging public decency stemming from his entering a waste bin containing the feces of children.

At the time of the incidents, Taylor was under a criminal behavior order imposed by the Nottinghamshire Magistrates’ Court prohibiting him from being within 10 meters of a nursery without reasonable excuse, suggesting he had been caught conducting similar activity in the past.

Although court listings used the name Martin Tarling, the Chair of the Bench, John Lee, asked Taylor if he preferred to be addressed by his “feminine” name and the defendant agreed. Taylor didn’t enter into a plea at South Tyneside Magistrates’ Court and will appear in court again on January 16.

Though he attended his hearing at the South Tyneside Magistrates Court donning a full beard, Taylor was later described in the media as a “transgender woman.”

Reduxx has located a social media profile believed to belong to Taylor which features extremely disturbing content. On the account, which is registered in Taylor’s location of Newcastle upon Tyne, a number of sexual animations depicting women and girls in diapers have been posted. The profile photo for the account shows an animated little girl sucking on a pacifier with the words “baby girl” written on her t-shirt.

Under a section offering alternative names and nicknames, Taylor says he also likes to be known as Baby Abbs, Little Princess, and Baby Girl.

In his profile, Taylor describes himself as an “intersex female and an “ABDL little.” The acronym “ABDL” refers to the “Adult Baby Diaper Lifestyle” or “Adult Baby Diaper Lover” fetish, wherein adults are sexually aroused by acting or dressing as babies. The fetish is more formally known as paraphilic infantilism or “autonepiophilia.”

There is a noticeable overlap between men with autonepiophilia and men who identify as women, with a number of disturbing incidents involving gender confused males with diaper fetishes making headlines over the past year.

In April of 2022, a man from Helensburgh pleaded guilty to abusing two children by forcing them to entertain his fantasy of being a three-year-old girl named “Molly.” Stephen Cunningham repeatedly dressed up as a little girl in the presence of the two victims, including wearing adult diapers and providing the victims with pacifiers and baby bottles. He would shout offensive remarks at the children, and told one of the children he was an “adult baby.”

Cunningham also offered diapers for the minors to wear and sent them text messages describing his experiences of dressing up as “Molly.” He would also make references to standing in front of the child in a soiled diaper, asking them to buy him new ones.

Shortly after, a man in Swindon was sentenced to a 24-month community order after exposing himself to multiple teen girls. Andrew Keen, 41, was active in online sissy and crossdressing communities and posted YouTube videos of himself dressing in women’s clothing. Though he scrubbed his social media shortly after his arrest, Keen frequently interacted with transgender pornography and age regression accounts — including those pertaining to the “ABDL” community.

Earlier this year, Reduxx exclusively revealed that the transgender criminal whose pioneering legal case paved the way for violent males to be transferred into women’s prisons in the American state of New Jersey was a diaper fetishist.

Danielle Demers, who was convicted following an investigation by the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, proudly declares himself an “adult baby” and frequently interacts with other members of the fetishistic subculture online.

[sentienceisoverrated]

Dick eating a piece of bread:

Tim also eating a piece of bread:

Damian eating jam and toast:

Jason eating a full English breakfast he made for himself: Sucks to be you guys.

Bruce sprinting in because he smelt food: Is Alfred back?

Tim, Dick and Damian: No.

Jason: (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

[breadandblankets]

While the Thomas's are still in their at home recovery phase, Elaine takes to keeping the news on so she can keep an eye on Duke while he is on Signal duty.

She doesn't like it of course, she winces at bad hits, remembering her own training as a young woman. But she fears not knowing what happens to her son more than she fears a little worry. He's strong, she knows that, and she trusts him.

She's glad for this one day.

For Duke it had been a long week, a long life if he was being honest. The "what ifs" had kept him up most nights and made whatever sleep he had gotten functionally useless. Not to mention how he helped out Tim with something around 11 and that nearly every fucking meta in Gotham had it out for him today.

A dozen fights in and someone finally knocks him in a way that Duke is wondering how he's going to get up from this one.

His powers are screaming, his body is screaming, hell, he might be screaming. Around the ringing in his ears it doesn't really make much of a difference.

Someone (or something) is coming at him and Fast, Izzy in his ear is telling him Hood's position, she already called for aid ten minutes ago (he loves her so much, has he mentioned that recently?).

A shadowy figure steps in front of him.

At first he thinks it might be Bruce, but then Izzy would have warned him, and Bruce had never looked so oily and smoky before. Duke concludes that maybe this is someone else coming to finish him off.

Great, wonderful, he thinks as his muscles tense to shadow step.

Duke is soon proven delightfully wrong.

The big guy who was, not a second ago, rushing him to squish his tender flesh, is struggling, making nearly animalistic sounds as the oil slick clouds from the shadow guy in front of him shoot out to grab the big guy.

There's a poof, not unlike his own shadow stepping, and then the big guy is fucking gone.

Shadow guy turns to look at him, big glowing purple eyes shine at him through the darkness. Duke is struck dumb for a moment.

"Mom?" he whispers.

The Red Hood steps onto the scene just in time. He wasn't far, less than half a mile away, putting the finishing touches on his taxes for the year. (He may be running a criminal enterprise but let it be know that he does pay his fucking taxes, Tim.)

He rushes over, training a .44 on the remaining non-bat on the field. The smog creature turns to look at him, and pointedly at the gun. Somehow he feels more chastised in a way that nothing B could do or say could ever achieve.

And then it's gone.

Jason jogs over, offering a hand to his (co-worker? co-sufferer of B's shit? 'lil bat bro' [Jason rolls his eyes at internal Dick]) Duke.

Duke grabs it, weakly (ohhhh someone's gonna get Bennchhedddd).

"What the fuck man," Jason can't help but say. "Does the hat-man owe you money?"

Duke laughs, and he looks more alive than he did a second before. (Jason is going to get a good grade in mentor, something both normal to want and possible to achieve.)

They both hear Izzy's audible relief on the line.

"Yeah he fucking does," Duke jokes back.

[pacificwaternymph]

Batfamily Beauty and the Beast AU where Bruce is the beast and with every child he adopts he becomes slightly more and more human.

He finds Dick in the woods, sobbing over the loss of his parents. A year later, he looks in the mirror and wonders if he's only imagining that he's gotten shorter.

Jason sneaks into the castle and steals a loaf of bread, hungry and desperate. Bruce takes him in and offers him a proper meal. As he's putting his new son to bed one night, he notices that his claws have shrunk.

Tim marches into the castle and demands Bruce take him, knowing the stories of the monster who kidnaps children. Bruce's snout feels flatter than it used to when he presses a kiss to his forehead.

Cassandra lasts a full two weeks before anyone even notices she's there. The fur on Bruce's arms begins to thin as he holds her close, and she smiles up at him.

Tim brings home Stephanie, who loudly insists that she does not need nor want a new father. His skin grows less leathery, and the beginnings of crows feet appear on the corners of his eyes.

Damian is brought to them by Talia, rigid and wary of everything, convinced of his birthright as the Bat's heir. The fangs in Bruce's mouth seem to smooth over as he learns to gentle his speech.

The day Duke joins the family, still reeling from the plague that claimed his parents, something clicks. Bruce steps out, and before them stands a perfectly human man, finally made whole by his love for his children.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Some Guy Outtake/Prompt

"Well if you keep psychoanalyzing your dates -" "Yes, Danny, I am well aware I am the problem." Jazz sigh in resignation, “maybe I should just give up for now."

Danny entered his kitchen and placed the phone on the counter, continuing to speak to his sister as he dug through his cabinets. Peanut butter and jelly sounded good for dinner. "Jazz, you're not a problem. You just get overzealous and are passionate about what you're studying." "Like mom and dad?"

"Ha! Well -" Danny turned, package of bread in hand, to see Red Robin on his fire escape looking like he was trying to open it.

"Hold-on Jazz there's a Robin at my window." "So? Maybe give it some bread?"

Danny looked at the loaf in his hand and then back to the window.

The last thing Tim had been expecting when he tried to enter Danny's apartment was a package of wonder bread to hit him in the face. He fell back into the railing with a crash.

"What was that?" Jazz asked. "I don't think the Robin liked the bread." "Try bird seed next time."

A week later, Jason, like his little brother, was also not expecting the hand full of small pellets to the face.

Masterpost

[dcxdpdabbles]

Cave boy Danny starts talking about one of the debates Tucker and Sam without mentioning their names when asked who the two are,Danny panics again and says that Sam is Selina since that's not that big of a jump when he starts saying her name

"One of my best friends would agree with you." Brucie suddenly speaks up one night at Dinner when Damian rants about his school not offering enough Vegetarian options. "She is an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian."

Bruce blinks having never heard the term before. A quick glance around the table tells him that neither have the others. Must be slang from his universe then. "What does that mean?"

"She doesn't eat anything with a face," Brucie explains. The curve of his lips has the tiniest amount of bestowed fondness that could only come from infatuation. Oh, Brucie is sweet on the girl. Bruce feels mildly alarmed as all his kids and Alfred sits up in interest when spotting it.

Unaware of what he just unwillingly gave away Brucie continues "Not to be confused with being a vegan because she will eat bread and cheese, but not often. She gets real mad when people mislabel her."

Dick grins, leaning over his forgotten dinner to pin Brucie under an eager stare. "I bet. Mislabeling is the worst."

"It is!" Brucie agrees, seemingly satisfied that someone else feels the same. "Especially when getting her to like you is like trying to get a cat's approval. But it's totes worth it when you do. No one has your back better than her."

A....cat's loyalty? Oh no. Surely it couldn't be-?

"What's your best friend's name?" Steph speaks up asking what's on everyone's mind. They all lean in a little closer as Brucie mindlessly gathers some rice on his fork.

"Her name is Sa-" Brucie takes a bite of his rice before swallowing. It takes everything in him not to quote Alfred and scold him for speaking with his mouth full. How Brucie grew up with such manners, Bruce would never know. "Selina! Her name is Selina."

Oh.

It seemed even in another world Bruce's heart would fall into Selina Kyle's hands.

His kids all but burst into cheers. Even Jason, and that was very hard to accomplish in the last few years.

"I knew it! I knew it!"

"Of course, it's Selina! Who else could it have been?"

"I suppose Kyle is not too horrid a partner for Father."

Duke and Cass high-five while Alfred seems to be glowing in parental pride as the other kids chat about his on-and-off girlfriend again. If a civilian version of himself still fell for her, Bruce could convince his Selina to quit the crime life and be his permanently.

Brucie stares a comprehensive eye around the table, so Bruce takes pity on him.

"I have a Selina as well. My kids....enjoy her company." He says, watching blue eyes swing at him as tiny black bangs fall slightly over them. It's adorable, and he finally understands why he had so many admirers. He bets civilian Brucie breaks just as many, if not more, hearts than he did at that age. "How long have you known Selina for?"

"Um...since she moved to my school when we were ten, so about four years, give or take?" Brucie shrugs, a slight blush overtaking his face. "She's great."

Oh, Bruce bet she is.

"Wait." Tim suddenly speaks up, eyes narrow in mistrust. Bruce had noticed before that the second youngest was suspicious of their dimensional visitor. He had been meaning to pull him aside to talk about it. "You said one of your best friends. Who is the other?"

"...Ethan. My other best friend is Ethan," Brucie says after a moment. He must mean Ethan Bennett. Bruce thinks wistfully of the old days when he would play basketball with his dear friend before he was lost in Clayface.

But why did Brucie pause on Ethan's name like that? It almost seemed like he was very carefully selecting that name or was trying to control his facial reaction to it.

A familiar blush bloomed over Brucie's checks and- oh. The boy had spoken about wishing he was from a world where bisexuality was more common, didn't he?

It would make sense. It's not like Ethan hadn't crossed his mind once or twice when Bruce was a teenager, either.

Tim's eyes narrow further. "I don't believe you."

"And I believe you can't stand the sight of your reflection because you're convinced no one will ever want it either." Brucie cheerfully chirps back before closing his eyes and sighing as if tired. He slumps in his chair, leaning his head against the headrest. "Sorry, that was mean. I'm trying to be less mean."

Bruce frowns at him, aware of Tim's eyes going glossy to his right but his son doesn't seem to want to step away. All conversation stops as they glare daggers at Brucie. Dick especially seems the most upset. "That was uncool Brucie"

"Yeah, sorry force of habit. My older sister and I-"

"Your what?" Bruce cuts him off, wondering if he heard right.

"My older sister?"

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, don't you?"

"No," Bruce whispers. "No, I don't. I'm an only child."

"Oh. I'm the second youngest. I have an older sister, an older brother, and a younger sister." Brucie turns over to Tim to offer a sincere apology that the other gracious takes, but Bruce can't hear him over the sound of blood rushing between his ears.

"Mother and Father had more children?"

"Kind of." Brucie's face twists slightly in consideration. "Tommy and Harley are adopted. They are technically cousins since they were made by my uncle Vlad. Kate.....my older sister Kate, is my aunt Alicia's bio-kid but she was raised by my parents since she was one since Aunt Alicia wasn't...in the best mental state to care for her. No hard feelings are between them."

"Tommy, as in Tommy Elliot?!" Dick gasps, springing to his feet. "He is your adoptive older brother!?"

Brucie appears startled by his reaction, but he nods all the same. Bruce feels dread sink into his stomach.

"He's evil!" Dick shouts.

"I know." Brucie shrugs, uncaring. "Tommy has some issues, and he had them since he was...fourteen, but he's not dangerous.."

"Did you all miss that he said Harley is his younger sister? Harley as in Harleen Quinzel?" Jason cuts in, twisting to pin Brucie with a hard stare. "That's her real name, isn't it?"

"Well, her real name is Harleen Wayne, but she prefers Harley," Bruice says carefully. "Why? Do you know her?"

"She's evil too!" Dick gasps. "Brucie, you're in terrible danger with those two around!"

"Nah, Kate will stop them." Brucie waves his hand. "Sides Tommy and Harley are always traveling. Neither are home much these days."

Bruce feels a headache growing behind his eyes as Dick desperately tries to explain what happens to Brucie's adoptive siblings in their world. At the same time, his counterpart argues on his sibling's behalf.

(No one knows about the electric candles disappearing from the dinner table as the house descends into madness, trying to make the dimension travel realize his danger. Even fewer are aware of Danny's silent apology to Sam, Tucker, Jazz, Dan, or Dani for butchering their names and somehow still connecting them to someone in this world.)

Master Post Link

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Different Meanings (Part 18)

Previous | Masterpost | Next

Danny got Ellie her treat and then practically dragged himself home. As he got closer he could sense Jason and was relieved to feel he had gone back to their home and not a safe house, Danny needed the security of their nest and his lover. That fight had gone really well, and Danny was glad to think that Dan might start doing better after this, but he was exhausted. 

He didn't bother with the door and just slid through the outer wall invisibly with a sigh. He dropped his invisibility, and then his ghostly form, letting his feet hit the floor with a soft thump. 

“I'm home,” Danny called, exhaustion dripping from his voice. The apartment smelled like fresh bread and savoury garlic but no one came to greet Danny right away, so he waited. It was a few minutes before Jason practically slunk out of the kitchen to meet Danny. “Are you done being mad?” Danny asked, his tone shamefully bitter.

“I’m so sorry Danny,” Jason said softly, helping Danny out of his Hyena costume, Danny groaned as he pulled off the stiff material breathing deeply with the restriction gone. At least he wasn’t sweaty underneath since the entire fight had been in his ghost form. 

“You should be. The meeting turned into a fucking intervention! And Batman has been snooping, or our people have been talking, or both, because he knew this wasn’t the first time. It was fucking miserable to have your siblings pitying me. You should have seen the looks on their faces, I think you broke their hearts. You have to make this right,” Danny accused him, baring his teeth at Jason. He was too tired to figure out how to say any of this nicely, besides he was still pissed and Jason needed a wake up call.

Jason winced and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. So much for trying to be a good influence on Tim, he didn’t want to know how much trust he had lost with his little brother. More important right now was how much he’d upset Danny.

“I’ll talk to them soon, I promise. You must be hungry after using your powers so much right? I made ravioli and garlic bread,” Jason asked Danny, nearly pleading for him to accept the food.

Danny was almost too tired and angry to accept, he almost said he was just going to go to bed. But Jason’s eyes were pleading and Danny couldn’t say no. “Fine,” He sighed, a ringing endorsement to be sure.

Jason nodded eagerly. “You go put on something comfortable, I’ll set the table and fix you a plate,” He promised and vanished back into the kitchen.

Danny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before he went into the bedroom to pull on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt. He looked longingly at the bed for a moment before shaking his head and wandering back into the kitchen. A reluctant smile pulled at the corners of his lips when he saw that Jason had set the table with some fresh flowers and lit some candles. It was nice, Jason was pulling out all the stops to make Danny feel loved and say sorry with more than just words. Danny could already feel it soothing the ache in his core as he went to sit down at the table.

Jason was quick to bring over a plate for him, loaded with a generous helping of homemade stuffed pasta and sauce, with garlic bread on the side. He set it down in front of Danny and kissed his temple softly. Danny’s attempts not to smile failed and he leaned into it just a little. “I’m still mad at you,” He mumbled.

“I know,” Jason said with a rueful little chuckle before he went to grab a plate for himself, as well as a drink for Danny before sitting across from him. He was sitting on the edge of his seat like he was ready to take off again, if Danny mentioned anything else he needed or wanted Jason would be quick to get it for him. He was full of nervous energy and trying not to let his knee bouncing shake the table as Danny dutifully picked at his food.

“It's good Jason, I'm just so tired,” Danny groaned when he was about halfway done. He propped his elbows on the table and dropped his face into his hands. 

“Just finish your plate, I know you're hungry,” Jason encouraged gently. “Then you can go to bed, and if you want me to sleep on the couch tonight I completely understand.” If Danny agreed to that Jason knew he wouldn't sleep at all but he would understand, they needed to have a serious conversation and they couldn't do that while Danny was this tired and upset.

Danny gave a half hearted snarl but he lifted his head and started eating again. “I think you should take the couch tonight,” he agreed with a sigh.

Jason's stomach dropped but he just nodded, looking down at his plate and not arguing with giving Danny the space that he needed. Danny finally finished eating and Jason got up, sliding around the table and leaning down to kiss Danny’s forehead as Jason took his plate. “Do you want seconds, Beloved?” 

“No thank you,” Danny yawned, shaking himself a little to get energy back into his limbs before he pushed his chair back and stood. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow okay? I love you.” 

“Of course, I love you too.” Jason replied, some of the tension easing from his shoulders because they would work through this. He had fucked up, but Danny still loved him, he and Danny were still committed to each other and tomorrow was a new day. They would work through this.

-----------

The bats didn't know what happened after Danny had left with Ellie, but Dick in particular hated the idea of what might have happened to Danny when he went home. Bruce wanted to barge right in but both Dick and Tim absolutely refused to let him be involved. Danny and Jason both had intense and not unreasonable mistrust for Bruce, and they loved each other regardless of if that love was healthy, they would not respond well to Bruce being involved in this, they might not react well to any external interference at all. But they needed to do something, didn't they? So a brotherly intervention it was.

They went in the morning, about ten AM and let themselves in rather then knocking and risking Jason not letting them in. They were practiced enough to avoid Jason's traps anyway, if Danny was nearby he might lash out but he's stop as soon as he realized who it was breaking into their house. 

“That better be my siblings,” Jason called from the kitchen with a growl in his voice. 

“It is. Dick and Tim,” Dick called back, following Jason's voice into the kitchen where he was up to his elbows on flour and aggressively kneading a ball of dough. 

“What do you want?” He grumbled, barely glancing at the two of them. 

“Where's Danny?” Dick asked nervously.

“He's still asleep. The fight yesterday took a lot out of him so he needs the rest. I'm making fresh bread for the whole fucking neighborhood,” Jason scowled, driving his fist into the dough again making Tim and Dick flinch a little. 

“Ya, about that Jason, about what happened yesterday-” Dick started and was cut off when Jason snarled. “Please don't get defensive Jay, we just want to help,” Dick said, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture.

“Did you already talk to Danny about this?” Jason asked without looking up from his kneading.

“Ya but he-”

“Let me guess, he blew up on you for bringing it up?” Jason asked with a wry expression.

“Ya,” Tim sighed.

“Ya he's like that, he hates anyone questioning our relationship. He gets really defensive, I just feel ashamed. I know it's not great, but it's also not as bad as you think it is. Danny agreed to this. I mean I'm in the dog house right now for hitting him in front of you but usually he really doesn't mind. It actually helps him too I think, and he asked for this.”

“Jay, that's not-” 

“No I don't mean “he asked for it,” in the shit way abusers do. I mean literally before we were even in a relationship he broke into my office while I was having a Pit episode and basically demanded I take my anger out on him so we could get back to work faster.” Jason interrupted, shaking his head and smiling a little at the memory. He finished kneading the dough and started to roll it out, planning to make this batch into cinnamon rolls. “Wouldn't take no for an answer.”

“Are you serious?” Tim broke in, sounding skeptical.

“Ya, you can ask him about it if you want to, though he’ll probably be pissed you’re interfering at all,” Jason said with a shrug. “He’s like that. We know that this… isn’t ideal and we’re working on it I promise but also, Danny is afraid of himself. He’s afraid of what he could become, how much damage he could do. Feeling controlled by me eases his fears of himself, and since I think he’s more scared of himself then just about anything, besides maybe being recaptured by the GIW, he still feels like he needs to be controlled. 

“I don’t know how long it’ll take him to trust himself again but until then I think he’s scared of things changing. I think that’s why he lashes out when people try to bring it up to him. When some of our employees tried to talk to him about it he blew up too. I’m glad you guys care about him, I’m glad they do too, but this is our relationship and we’re handling it in a way that works for both of us.”

“Jason, are you sure?” Dick asked worriedly. “You don’t exactly have a model of a healthy relationship, with how you grew up, and Bruce is not exactly a romantic. We love you, and Danny, and we just want what’s best for you I promise. We’re not here to accuse you of anything.”

“Ya, and I assume you had to bully Bruce out of coming and actually accusing,” Jason chuckled, glancing up to see Dick give a sheepish smile. Tim was still stone faced, Jason got the impression he was quite mad at him. “Thanks for that. I know the two of you mean well, and I know I fucked up yesterday.” A timer dinged and he turned to pull a couple loaves of bread that had just finished baking out of the oven and set them on the counter to cool. The next batch that had finished proofing went in.

“Babe? Who are you talking to?” Danny called from the hall and all three of them stiffened immediately. Looking like deer caught in headlights as Danny came around the corner and spotted them. “Oh,” He sounded, voice flat and face expressionless. “Is there coffee?” He asked Jason, firmly ignoring Dick and Tim.

“Ya there is,” Jason said, quickly pouring Danny a cup and passing it to him. Danny came forward and bullied Dick off of his barstool still without acknowledging him. 

“Hey-” Dick started indignantly only to shut up when Jason hissed at him.

Danny took a few long swallows from his coffee before he sighed and finally looked at Dick and Tim. “So what do you two want?” He said coolly. “You weren’t invited.”

“We were just worried about you-” Dick started and Danny hissed sharply, interrupting him. 

“We don’t want your worry. If you’re here because you’re concerned~ You can leave again,” He snarled at Dick.

“I’m not here because I’m worried,” Tim spoke up, though his expression was still blank. “I’m here because I’m hurt.” 

That made both Jason and Danny wince, Dick on the other hand looked betrayed. “Tim, this isn’t about us! This is about-”

“Shut up,” Danny snapped. “You should leave,” He told Dick before turning back towards Tim. “You can stay if you want to.”

Dick glanced back and forth between Danny and Tim, and seemed a little betrayed when Tim avoided eye contact and stayed on his stool. “Fine,” Dick sighed, sliding off his stool and resting a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Text me okay?” He asked softly before looking up at Jason and Danny again. “You too, I’m just… worried about both of you, I care about both of you. However I can be there for you,” he said before slipping out of the room.

Danny watched him go and waited till he heard the door close before he let his shoulders drop with a sigh, taking another sip of his coffee. Jason shook his head and grabbed a plate, pulling the cinnamon buns out of the oven and putting a fresh one on the waiting plate, sliding it across the counter to Danny. He gave Jason a grateful smile and then bit into the burning hot bun, Jason could practically hear it sizzling on Danny’s cool pallet but Danny never minded.

 “It’s good, it’ll be better when it’s cooled enough to ice,” Danny mumbled through a full mouth. Jason rolled his eyes fondly. “Right,” Danny said, putting the bun back down and turning back towards Tim. “I think I can guess why, but can you tell me how what happened yesterday made you feel so we can talk about this properly?” He asked gently. 

Tim looked down, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to organize his thoughts. To give him something else to focus on Jason poured him a cup of coffee and handed it over, Tim gave a mumbled thanks. Jason nodded and grabbed a cup for himself before turning off the oven and sitting down, he still had more dough he could bake, but he could freeze it and go back to it later too and this was more important. 

“I guess I just… look up to you guys,” Tim muttered, clutching the mug in both hands. “My parents treated their marriage like a business exchange, and then there’s Bruce… Dick has pretty good relationships but we’ve never been that close. Your relationship is-” He paused, taking a sip of his coffee and wincing a little when he burned his mouth. “I guess I saw you both as a model of a good relationship, and now…”

“It’s okay Tim,” Danny said, giving him a patient smile. “I get why you feel that way, and I’m flattered you’ve seen us as role models-”

“Though it’s a horrible choice really,” Jason interrupted, earning a gentle smack on the arm from Danny, and a suppressed snort of laughter from Tim. 

“But we’re not perfect people, and sometimes we fuck up. Jason fucked up yesterday and he knows it,” He said, glancing over at Jason who sighed and nodded, looking down. “We’re going to talk about that and work through it, but I need you to understand that it’s not as big of an issue as it would be if someone hit you, for instance, or Dick. I’m preternatural, I’m much harder to hurt, and I heal very quickly, usually in seconds. 

“More then that I think I mentioned how violence is a culture for ghosts, it’s expected, it’s a bonding activity. What Batman was talking about that happens behind closed doors? I want that, I volunteered for that. I can’t really fight back because I’m so much stronger and I worry about hurting Jason, but the violence between us doesn’t have the same meaning that it would in a relationship between two humans. 

“What Jason did last night wasn’t wrong because he hit me, he’s allowed to hit me, we’ve discussed it and we have understandings and aftercare set up. What he did was wrong because he did it in front of others, which is against the rules we’ve set up for our relationship. But most of the time it’s like… you asking Kon to spar so you can really go all out without having to worry about hurting him because he’s a lot more durable then another human would be. Do you do that?” Danny asked for clarification and Tim nodded warily, Danny nodded back. “Right, and that’s probably fun for him too isn’t it? 

“It’s a bonding activity for the two of you, you get your frustration out, and I’m sure he enjoys getting to see how strong you are.” Danny smiled mischievously when Tim blushed and spluttered. 

“Jason and I have a relationship that works for us. It wouldn’t work for two humans, but we’re not fully human, either of us. I’m only half, and even though he’s mostly human he was dead long enough to keep some of those instincts. I get mad because I don’t want to have to explain our relationship to someone who has no business meddling in it! But you deserve an explanation, so I hope it’s helped you understand better now that you have one.”

Danny sat back in his seat and sipped his coffee, Tim drank too, mechanically as he processed all that information. Jason fidgeted in his seat and tried to take inspiration from Danny’s patience as he sat quietly waiting for Tim to finish processing and think of something to say. Jason almost wanted to jump in to break the silence just because of how awkward and uncomfortable he was feeling, but that wouldn’t help right now. To keep himself from speaking he got up to mix a frosting for the cinnamon buns and frost them before handing Danny a fresh one, now iced since they were cool enough. 

“What do you think about this, Jason? I know you mentioned him asking for this earlier, but you were quiet through all that?” Tim finally spoke up, making Jason startle. 

“Ya, I agree with it. Mostly anyway, I’m working on my anger, because sometimes I don’t like the energy that I bring to our interactions, you know? Sometimes I know I’m not doing things for the right reasons, and I don’t like how often I’ve let it take control and make me fuck up. So I sure as hell wouldn’t look up to me, but everything Danny said is true too,” Jason said a bit awkwardly. 

Tim nodded slowly and let out a long breath. “Okay, I think I understand, thank you for explaining. I’ll try and explain that to Dick too, and Bruce if you don’t mind?” He asked, glancing back and forth between Danny and Jason. Danny shrugged and looked at Jason, who hesitated and then nodded, mostly because he hoped that would get Batman off their backs some. “You should call Diana though, and soon.”

“Right, I’ll do that today,” Jason promised with a soft sigh, that was going to be a hard conversation. She was going to be disappointed in him and he hated that.

“Good,” Tim said, nodding before turning his attention back to Danny. “Okay, I’m not going to say this again after this because I know it upsets you. But if anything changes or it gets to be too much you can talk to any of us. I don’t want you to think that just because we’re Jason’s family we’ll take his side.”

“No, if anything it’s the opposite,” Danny said with a scoff. “You guys are always at each other's throats. You could really do with a family vacation or something.”

“You know that’s not a bad idea,” Tim said, a slow smile spreading across his face. 

“No,” Jason said with dawning horror. 

“I’ll tell Alfred to make sure Bruce doesn’t turn it into a team building exercise. Can I take some of those cinnamon buns to go?”

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Stalker! Tim but only because their universe has set and reset so many times that things have started glitching and one of the glitches is that Tim has a head full of random facts about his family that he Should Not Know.

Dick: God, I miss that show

Tim: Agreed. You cried so much when it got cancelled that you missed school for a week

Dick: How do you know that?

Tim: Uhhh...I... don't...know...?

-----

Bruce: *reaching distractedly for some garlic bread during a gala*

Tim: *not paying attention, grabbing it from him on instinct* Best not. Don't want another international incident do we?

Bruce: *wide eyed* How- Barbara scrubbed every record of that, she made sure of it

Tim: *equally shocked* I- I- okay?!

-----

Duke: I had the biggest crushes on-

Tim: I know. You had their posters up till you were 14

Duke: Why-

Tim: Whydoiknowthatwhydoiknowthatwhydoiknowthat-

[incorrectbatfam]

Wayne Tower yelp reviews pls (wrong answers ofc)

★★★☆☆ Disappointed but not surprised

Was invited to the Wayne Gala held at the Tower this year to accommodate special guests from the Justice League. Was photographed by reporter Clark Kent. Wanted to meet Superman but he didn't show up. Food and atmosphere was good. Got told off for swinging from the chandelier. Why have a chandelier if not for swinging?

★☆☆☆☆ Not even gonna dignify it with a title

I'd give zero stars if I could. The CEO is a massive fucking asshole. He's full of nothing but smooth-brained takes. He claims he'll be there when you need him but never shows up. And when you RIGHTFULLY resent him, he'll turn around and pretend YOU are the bad guy. That isn't even touching on his AUDACITY to replace you so soon after you leave. You think you know this man, you think you've grown to trust him, and then he goes and stabs you in the back. Believe me when I say RUN. Get as FAR away from this company and that bastard Bruce Wayne as you possibly can.

★★☆☆☆ SOS

I work here. Too many emails. Half the execs are Boomers who can't export a PDF. The break room is out of coffee. My dad won't stop visiting the office. When will the nightmare end???

★★★★☆ Imperfect but respectable

I had the opportunity to visit Wayne Tower on Bring Your Child To Work Day. The building is up to code and I was able to view all the health code certifications. I admire that Wayne Enterprises takes care of its employees by allowing ample vacation time, in-house daycare, and well-maintained recreation spaces. The cafeteria did not have as many vegetarian options as I would have preferred, but I have been informed that they operate on a rotating menu, so I shall revisit again next week and possibly amend my review. I would leave five stars but I ran into Tim Drake on the way out and that brought the whole experience down a notch.

★☆☆☆☆ No Chipotle

Was told there was a Chipotle here. Did not find Chipotle.

★★★☆☆ Badge entry didn't work

I'm on the night shift at the company's call center. One time I was already running late but for some reason I couldn't badge in. The janitor wouldn't let me through even though I had proof I was supposed to be here. Had to escalate to the CEO. Still better than working the Batburger drive-thru though.

★★★★★ Hi Dad

Hi Dad.

★★★★☆ Good but...

I love the bathrooms. They're easy to find and very accessible for a wheelchair user like myself. There's plenty of space for me to navigate and the products are top-notch, especially the hot towels. The toaster oven under the sink also doesn't make sense, but then again, my lockscreen is Nightwing so I can't judge.

★★☆☆☆ No cats allowed

I got written permission from the CEO himself to bring my cat to the office, but the doorman turned me away. Next time, there should be better communication between the employees.

★★★★☆ Rooftop makes for good date

I brought my girlfriend up here for our anniversary date. The building has a beautiful view of the city and the restaurant was great. The bread was a little dry, but nothing that a little butter couldn't fix. Unfortunately, she's an on-call detective and we had to cut our evening short, but that's not the staff's fault.

★☆☆☆☆ Got called Bri'ish

Someone called me Bri'ish.

[miryum]

"Pilot"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

Richard Grayson was surveying his detectives, assessing whether or not they were ready.

Cassandra Cain was glaring at her computer, angrily typing away. Dick had to get someone to fix her computer a week ago and he really didn’t want a repeat. But, seeing as she had yet to punch a hole through the screen, Dick was satisfied. Status: Ready.

Stephanie Brown was in the kitchen, humming to herself as she lathered peanut butter onto some bread. Dick couldn’t see the beginning of a toaster fire, so he moved onto his next detective. Status: Ready.

Timothy Drake’s eyes never left his computer as he chugged his fourth cup of coffee. Dick made a mental note to cut him off. Luckily, Tim had gotten a full four hours of sleep last night, so he shouldn’t pass out. Status: Ready.

Damian al Ghul technically wasn’t part of the precinct, but he was a loose cannon nonetheless. From Damian’s phone, Dick could faintly hear the sound of a dog’s bark, and based on the slight upturn of the boy’s lips, Dick guessed that he was enamoured by animal videos. At least he wasn’t causing chaos. Yet. Status: Ready.

Jason Todd was finishing some reports Dick had assigned him, but his eyes kept flickering to the unfinished book on his desk. In the past, Dick had to confiscate books and lock them in his desk drawer to keep Jason focused on his work. Somehow, however, the boy had found a new book, or roped Cass into helping him steal it from Dick’s desk. For now, though, he was occupied with his work. Status: Ready.

And then there was one. Y/n L/n. Dick sighed heavily, preparing himself for the shenanigans she would surely have gotten herself into. Dick’s gaze swept to the desk opposite Jason’s but… Y/n was sitting in her seat, cataloguing evidence. Dick’s mouth fell open. It was a miracle! What did he do to deserve this?! And on today of all days! Dick was silently celebrating when Y/n’s phone chimed and she peeked at it, a grin instantly coming to her face. She slowly turned her head to meet Damian’s Cheshire smile from behind his phone screen. 

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked. Damian nodded. Dick whimpered, pleading to his gods that whatever they were planning would come to a halt. The new Captain was due any moment and he couldn’t risk things not going perfectly. “Terrific,” Y/n cackled. 

Gotham had been gloomy that day, as it always was, but the dark sky was instantly forgotten as the elevator door hissed open and out stepped Captain Wayne. He was greeted by Y/n blasting Hello - I just came to say Hello sung by Lady Aqua on her small, Bluetooth speaker.

“Hello!” Y/n called to the emerging Captain, “And welcome to the sixty-sixth precinct in Gotham! Or as I like to call it, one six away from Hell and the devil herself.” She sang along with the track, “I just came to say hello! Steph! Now!”

Stephanie threw her hand up and let pieces of confetti fall to the floor. “I’ll clean it up later!” she shouted to Dick over the music.

Dick cradled his face in his hands. Captain Wayne did not seem pleased. Dick sighed before plastering on his award-winning smile and striding up to his new Captain. “Captain Wayne. I’m Sergeant Grayson. It’s a pleasure to have you here with us.”

Captain Wayne held a hand up and Dick slowly closed his mouth, his unshaken hand dropping to his side. “I am your new commanding officer, Captain Bruce Wayne. Sergeant Grayson? A word.”

“Of course,” he nodded, following Captain Wayne into the man’s new office. Dick shot Y/n a warning glare just as the music changed to Classic by MKTO. She bopped her head song to the beat, giving her superior a thumbs-up.

Damian didn’t look up as Captain Wayne marched by. After the door clicked shut, the civilian administrator muttered, “anyone else get a gay vibe?”

Y/n slowly turned the music down until it was a hush in the background. She hummed along before stating, “he and I are gonna be besties!” Steph cringed and Jason huffed a laugh.

“Sergeant Grayson,” Captain Wayne stood stoically, gazing out at his new team. “We served together in the fifteenth. How have you been?”

“Good, good. My wife and I just had twin baby girls.” Dick pulled out his wallet to show a family photo with him and Kori cuddling two little girls and grinning at the camera. 

“Adorable,” Captain Wayne barely glanced at the picture. “Tell me about your detective squad.”

“Okay.” Dick turned to stare out the office window with his senior officer. “Damian is our civilian administrator. He… has opinions and can rudely say them at inappropriate times, but the few times he does his job, he’s incredibly good at it. He grew up with L/n and that’s mainly how he got the job. He’s putting himself through law school and is surprisingly top of his class.”

“Damian, I need you to catalogue these files for me,” Cass said.

Damian held up a finger, typing away on his phone.

“Damian,” Cass repeated. 

“Hold on. I need to send a scathing email to my professor.”

Cass hummed and said, “fair. Take your time.”

“Cass is tough, fair, and impossible to read. Her specialty is silence, both in the field and in the precinct.” Dick exhaled, nodding towards the woman’s desk. “She’s brilliant and somewhat terrifying, but we all know she loves us.”

“How long has she been sitting there?” Y/n whispered.

“It’s been eight minutes and thirty one seconds,” Tim said, fixated on his watch.

“Damn,” Steph murmured. “What’s her record?”

“Eleven minutes and fifteen seconds,” Y/n answered automatically. They were all carefully watching Cass who was scowling at the wall. 

“Alright, everyone!” Dick barged into the briefing room and the three detectives cried out in protest. “First order of-”

“Dick! Shut up!” Y/n shushed him. “You’re disturbing Cass! This could be a new record.”

“Wait wait!” Stephanie slapped Y/n’s arm. “She’s still in the zone!”

Y/n gasped. “You got lucky, Grayson.”

“Stephanie is our optimistic cinnamon roll.” Dick beamed and gestured to Steph who was faithfully sweeping up the confetti. “She’s super dedicated to her job and no one can stay mad at her. She’d do anything for this precinct, as we would her.”

“Hey, Tim? Tiiiiiiim… Timmy!” Steph tapped his desk. “That’s your eighth cup of coffee.”

“It’s decaf!” Tim protested.

“No, it’s not. I watched you make it.” Jason pipped up. 

“You’re not helping!” Tim glared across the bullpen. Steph clicked her tongue accusingly, pointing at Jason to help prove her point.

“Fine.” Tim dumped his coffee in the trash. Steph ruffled Tim’s hair before bouncing back to her desk. 

“Tim is a coffee addict. He may be the most academically gifted on the team, except when it comes to his sleep schedule. He’s dreamed about being a police officer his entire life and his face when he made detective… you should’ve seen him.” Dick chuckled, shaking his head.

After Steph walked away, Tim fished his coffee out of the trash and quickly chugged it. Jason frowned at him disapprovingly.

“Jason grew up on the streets. He had a… bad home life and was surrounded by gangs as a kid. He was sure he would end up behind bars instead of putting others behind them. An older officer, Alfred, picked him up off the streets. Jason pulled himself up from his bootstraps and is now here. Contrary to his large, tank-like frame, he's just a kid who loves Jane Austen.”

“There’s a perp running around,” Dick said in the briefing room. “Who keeps breaking into people’s houses and stealing oddly specific items. Certain books, a vase, even a pillow-”

“It's a crazy ex-girlfriend,” Jason called out. 

“What?”

“The owners of the apartments all just got out of a relationship. The ex is stealing things that were meaningful from the relationship,” Jason explained. “The timeline adds up too. The robberies had time in between them for a relationship to grow and foster- a year or two apart.”

“Like your sex life,” Y/n snickered, high-fiving Cass.

“And Detective L/n?”

Dick shook his head, smiling softly against his will. “Y/n is my best detective. She’s always wanted to be the good guy and solve the hardest challenges. The only challenge she hasn’t overcome is how to grow up.”

“Well put,” Wayne raised an eyebrow. 

“Thank you!” Dick mentally patted himself on the back. “I’ve spent a lot of therapy time talking about her. But you can’t tell her that. She already has a big ego.”

“Noted.”

“I’ll need a list of your employees and anyone who has a key-”

Crash! Bang-bang!

“Really?” Jason turned to Y/n who was messing with a mini electric keyboard. “What are you? Twelve?”

In response, Y/n hit a button and a fart noise filled the air. “And I’d like to apologise for my partner,” Jason rolled his eyes. “Her parents didn’t give her enough attention.”

Y/n loudly asked, “if I solve this case, can I get this for free?”

“If you solve this case, I’ll buy it for you,” Jason deadpanned. 

“Yay! We’re looking for a perp with a buzz cut (ew, by the way) and a dragon tattoo on his left forearm.” Y/n stuck her tongue out at Jason. The man just frowned in question. “I have a confidential informant.” Y/n’s voice turned low and menacing. “He spent years in this place, slowly losing his sense of self. Watching, learning, listening… WE HAD A SPY ON THE INSIDE! HERCULES MUFFIN MAN!” Y/n proudly held up a small, fuzzy teddy bear. “Did I forget to mention he’s a nanny cam?” She turned Hercules Muffin Man around to show a camera implanted into his head. Her phone showed a grainy video of a guy breaking into the electronic store. “Oops!” She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. “Guess I get a piano for my desk.”

“You’re dismissed,” Wayne nodded to Dick who saluted. “Please ask Damian to join me.”

“Yes, boss?” A minute later, Damian stood in the doorway.

“Close the door behind you,” Wayne instructed. “Tell me about L/n.”

“Y/n? I’m assuming you’re inquiring about personal details because I’m sure Richard gave you the professional. Y/n’s in love with Jason.” He shrugged, staring at his new boss with a look that asked Is that what you wanted to know?

“Oh.” Wayne didn’t know what else to say other than, “Does he like her back?” He cleared his throat. 

“I don’t know,” Damian muttered. “I know my best friend, but I know shit about Jason.” Captain Wayne took a breath and excused Damian with a wave of his hand. He rubbed his temples, wondering what he had done to deserve the DA assigned him this precinct.

Bruce set up a photo of him and Clark as Rasputin blared on Y/n’s speakers.

[medusagorgongirl1]

I'm sick of this Fandom saying that Dick only eats cereal and that the only thing Tim can cook is a cup of coffee and treating Jason like he's some sort of michelin star chef, like seriously? that's it?

Dick came from a circus full of people with different cultures and backgrounds. Idk if y'all have every gone to one of those big weddings that takes place in your cousins back yard but fucking everyone comes together with food. You make the things you know and love and share them with the people your friends and family know and love. And also Dick was a kid that loved attention, of course he would sit in the kitchen and be entertained by someone while his parents were training. I'm convinced that Dick knows how to cook the most random, homey, comfort food dishes but like nothing 'ordinary'. Like that man can make the best goulash you've had in your life (only with the good paprika), he makes vegetarian momos that even Damian can't resist, his challah had more jew in it than Bruce does. But if you ask him to bring a casserole to a get together, he'll fucking bluescreen and buy a pre-made potato salad.

I agree that Jason is a good cook. As a kid I was poor, but in my later teenage years we were more middle class. That change in being able to buy ingredients, to actually make something homemade with is insane. I'm convince that one day he showed Alfred one of those '3 ingredients browine recipe' and asked if that wasn't too much to use and Alfred introduced him to the concept 'the more ingredients the better taste'. That said, as an adult I don't think he was making all these grand dishes. He doesn't live with Bruce, and frequently changes safe houses. He doesnt have the dishware to make these extraordinary foods. Like he'll make some fettuccine alfredo, but those aren't homemade noodles. He's not making a cheesecake, but he'll make a nice banana bread. I also think that he would be a bit nostalgic for the foods of his childhood like we all are in a way, but he would better it. Like cheap ass Ramen? That man is making a steaming bowl of pho. Baked potatoes? Creamy potatoes au Gratin. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? Fruit tarts with peanut butter cookies. He's not phenomenal, but he's resourceful.

I said this in a previous post but Tim can cook goddammit. He grew up in a big home as tween with an unlimited fridge. He did what kids do; make really shitty food until they understand cooking. He would thrive off of reciving praise from his parents if he informed them on how independent he is. I know he tried to learn how to make all of their favorite meals until he could recite the recipe word for word. And I don't think that left even after he became robin. Because things were shaky with Bruce for a while, and Tim needed to prove himself. He definitely found out how to make the most tasty protein filled post workout foods because he was determined to be a good robin. I think that as an adult a lot of those would stick too. Like he would know how to make a lot of standard meals, and knows how to read relatively re create a recipe. He isn't useless in the kitchen just because he's rich.

Stephanie is always neglected in these and I refuse too, I love her. I think that she would be kinda a combination of Jason and Tim, like she knows as a vigilante (especially one always underestimated) she really needs to prove she can hold her own and I think that means that she would care about her diet in relation to her workout regime. Her diet would probably consist of a lot protein, fiber and vegetables. But also I think she would be more nostalgic that Jason. Because who can't help but romanticize the sight of your mom making your birthday cake and adding a drop of magic that turns it purple. If it comes down to the frozen pizza or the frozen stir fry, she might choose the pizza because it's the same brand her mom would make on Fridays. She knows how to make the foods that are good for her (to an extent, similar to Tim in that way) but she would also be able to make more of her comfort foods. But above all else, she's a sucker for convenience store meals. She's a patsa roni after patrol kinda gal. And some days she'll add in steamed broccoli, but the nights she's really feeling it, she might just turn on some old cartoon and sit on the floor with her pasta roni.

Damian is more interesting. Always being wealthy has him thinking cooking a bit beneath him. BUT, he also how easy it is to poison someone by making their meals. I feel like in the league of assassin's he learned to detect poison in food and knows how to get it back up. But, it's easier to detect that type of thing with plants. I think he knows which plants are poisonous simply by sight, taste and smell. And besides the obvious reason behind his vegan/vegetarianism I think that is also one of the contributing factors. But I still think it took him a while to come around to Alfred and ask to learn how to make more of the foods he can eat. I don't think that would happen until after he has since how the memories from cooking affect Dick, how cooking gives Jason a sense of freedom and control, and Tim independence. I think he would come to recognize the importance of being able to do something for yourself without assistance. I think he would begin with shyly approaching Alfred vegan recipe he found (because vegan/vegetarians recipes are finally becoming more mainstream and popular on social media), and Alfred will agree because he wants Damian to request certain foods. He wants Damian to truly enjoy meals and not just tolerate something Alfred makes. So I think Damian would know how to make a lot of staple dishes, but also a lot of really yummy vegan dishes. But I also think he would have a slight nostalgia for foods more regional to Nanda Parbat. Specifically I think he would miss spicy food and that it would become necessary in his favorite dishes. I think he would be a sucker for a nice lentil soup, so spicy that only Jon can stomach it.

Sorry for the long post, but this has been on my mind a bunch lately.

[1001aus]

There are a lot of fun jokes and fics about which if any of the Bats can cook and while it's funny to say all of them except for [whoever] is banned from the Wayne Manor kitchen here are my actual thoughts on who can cook and who is actually good at it.

Bruce: Can cook in theory. Very good at technical skills and everything he makes is highly nutritious, but he's awful at flavor and texture. Tends to err on the side of overcooking because he's bad at determining when something's done. His meal replacement bars are the stuff of legend. Chalky. Chemical aftertaste from the nutrient paste. Can keep you going all day like lembas.

Dick: Can follow a recipe with minimal mistakes. He is, however, working two full-time jobs and is usually too tired. People make fun of the cereal, but, let's be honest, the boost of iron and sugar from vitamin fortified children's cereals after a night of patrol helps a lot with blood loss.

Jason: Actually started learning from Alfred about a year after being adopted, but the lesson were interrupted by his death and didn't pick up after. His cooking is much better when he's feeding 20+ people. Can't quite get the hang of bread.

Barbara: Also capable of following recipes, but unlike Dick she's confident enough to do ingredient substitutions. There was a while after getting shot when she almost gave up out of frustration, then Bruce threw several thousand dollars at remodeling her kitchen so she can use it in a wheelchair.

Tim: He can make staples, but he mostly survives on caffeine pills and take out. Surprisingly good at baking if he doesn't get distracted by something else.

Stephanie: Great at breakfast foods, much less confident making anything else. She *can* cook, but doesn't have the money to throw at ingredients and refuses to let Bruce pay her living expenses on principle.

Cass: Cannot cook. She could incinerate pasta on the stove.

Duke: He can get by, but he's also just a high school student. The type to get really good at a couple specific, complicated looking dishes. Not above using Bruce's credit card for groceries.

Damian: Genuinely never thought about who makes his food before coming to Gotham. If he wants food that reminds him of his childhood he needs to make it himself, so he's learning. Applies the same focus as Bruce to learning, but with better results since he isn't focused on Maximum Nutrition. Never going to be good at improvising, but very good at complicated recipes.

[batbirdies]

“What are you-” Tim blinked, standing in his doorway in his underwear, hair mussed and holding his ribs gingerly.

Dick smiled and held up the containers in his hands. “I brought food.”

“Oh… uh,ok just um–” Tim glanced behind him, registering the load of laundry still sitting on his couch from three days ago, the sink full of dishes and the overflowing trash, the spread of coffee mugs and papers over his kitchen counters. He grimaced. 

“You can come in, just- sorry for the mess, I didn’t know you were coming,” he mumbled as Dick stepped past and went straight for the kitchen. 

“Don’t worry about it. You’re injured, it happens.” Dick shrugged as he set down the large stack of tupperware on the one free square foot of counterspace. 

Tim chose not to bring up that nearly all of the mess was from before the mentioned injury, though he was willing to bet Dick knew that already anyway. “Did you… cook?” Tim stared at the containers, knowing he was being a little weird but he just woke up when Dick knocked and he was still on painkillers and the brainfog was lingering more than usual.

“Yeah, it’s just chili and some corn bread, but I figured you wouldn’t be up for cooking for a few days with the ribs and arm.” Dick started clearing counter space, carefully stacking papers in alternating directions so they weren’t shuffled together and setting them on his laptop keyboard, which he closed and unplugged, setting it to the side.

“I could have just ordered in.” Tim shuffled back inside from the entryway, heading to the couch and grabbing a zip up hoodie to slip into. Putting a shirt on over his head was annoyingly difficult at the moment.

“Yeah,” Dick agreed, looking up. “But this way I had an excuse to check in. Since you’ve been radio silent since last night and all.” The raised eyebrow was just that hint of scolding.

“I was sleeping–” 

“That’s what I figured.” Dick held up his hands, dropping the act. “This way I get to confirm that you’re still alive and make sure you eat real food.” As he spoke he grabbed onto Tim’s sweatshirt ties, tugging him toward the kitchen bar stools. 

“Now sit, I’m making us dinner.”

Tim sat, watching Dick move around his messy kitchen, tidying just as much as he was “cooking”, humming under his breath as he went. He leaned his elbows on the counter, still drooping from the pain meds and the pain itself. He hadn’t expected the company, and normally he’d be embarrassed by the mess and being caught sleeping into the early evening but Dick didn’t seem surprised or concerned. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” Tim halfheartedly mumbled, stomach growling pitifully as it reminded him that sleeping all day meant not eating nearly enough.

“Yeah yeah,” Dick dismissed, pulling bowls down from the cabinet above the microwave. “I wanted to.”

Tim swallowed, surprised by the sudden pressure in his chest and cleared his throat. “...Thanks.” He barely managed after a too long silence, voice coming out oddly strangled. 

Dick looked back at him, eyes alert, scanning his face before his expression softened. 

“Anytime.”

[breadandblankets]

wake up in the morning, see people trying to invent slurs for metas, enough internet for today

[clockwayswrites]

Shadow of a Bat Ch. 3 Snippet

WC: 915 CW: Vivisection, Implied/Referenced Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Off Screen Character Death, GIW, Bad Parents Jack and Maddie Fenton Danny Fenton, Panic Attacks

Their little shadow was showing themselves more. Dick’s nickname seemed to have stuck with the family occasionally actively addressing the entity by some variation of ‘little shadow’ in various languages. They still didn’t know the exact identity of the being, but Bruce had his suspicions.

Trusting his gut was something that was always hard for Bruce, what with his need to know. He would rather trust research and facts. But right then his gut was telling him that their little shadow was the boy who had been coldly labeled as the entity FBA-P_01. The boy who had bled red like a human when the scientists cut into him before it ran green. But Bruce also knew that he couldn’t be objective, not when the boy had looked so much like Jason had laid out on the autopsy table.

The Justice League had been working their way through more of the encryption on the files and making their own database from the information. FBA: full body apparition. It was a title for the ghosts who took on a humanoid form that could be fully interacted with. The GIW considered these the most important test subjects. Unlike the A-E classes, which had multiple files, the P was a classification had only been used twice. Once for the boy and once for a FBA-P_02, who was listed as ‘unsuitable for long term study’ and marked as terminated. ‘Phantom’ had come up in once in a file connected to FBA-P_01, leading them to believe that was was the origin of the P marker. Reports from Amity Park— the city that had brought the Anti-Ecto Acts to light— cited Phantom as their town’s hero.

The boy had been a vigilante. Another black haired, blue eyed teen hero that had died; that might have stayed dead.

Bruce pushed himself away from the computer after locking it down. He knew he needed to brief his children on the information the Justice League was finding— they had a right to know what with the little shadow becoming part of their home— but Bruce didn’t know how to broach it. He wanted a few more answers first, a few more certainties.

Besides, the children had been doing so well at making them feel more at home. Now that they were showing themselves more, made it easier to try and meet their needs. Bruce was sure that when he made it upstairs for lunch there would be a place at the table set for their newest member also.

It was never a full plate, but Alfred had started being sure to set out a little bit of what the family was having for the little shadow. It had started with Jason and the other children slipping bits under the table, but Alfred soon declared that unacceptable behavior— their shadow was not a dog— and so a place at the table with a small plate had been set. The food only ever disappeared when no one was looking, but it seemed to be enjoyed if the noises the shadow made was an indication.

Sure enough, there was an empty plate other than Bruce’s. It was a rather full table for a weekend lunch— Damian, Tim, Cass, Duke, and Dick were all gathered. Another thing that the little shadow had brought Bruce: more time with his children.

-

Phantom watched the family at the meal. Watched Bruce (not Batman, the man tried so hard be Bruce around his children) ask Dick (golden and smiling) about his day. Watched Tim and Cass fight (play fighting, not real) over the last piece of garlic bread on the serving plate.

He had a little piece of garlic bread too. He waited, carefully, until no one was looking to pull it down under the edge of the table. Oh, it was good. Of course it was, everything that Alfred made was good, but this was very good. This was almost cookie level good. Phantom trilled happily at the taste. When he peered back over the edge of the table, there was another piece on his small plate!

Phantom looked up. Duke was smiling down at him.

Phantom shrunk back. He didn’t mean to. He knew (part of him knew) that the plate was for him and so the others must know he was there, but he still felt so seen when one of them looked at where he was. Being seen was dangerous.

Being seen meant tests and blades and being cut cut cut.

The sound of the table quieted suddenly.

Oh, he must have made a noise.

“I do hope the silence is due to everyone simply being too busy eating,” Alfred said as he swept into the room, breaking the tension of the moment. “Though heavens knows that a full mouth has never kept any of you from talking.”

“I would never,” Damian said with a haughty sniff.

Conversation surged again, picking back up as people defended themselves or called others out. Without looking, attention seemingly on the new argument, Duke nudged the plate towards Phantom. Phantom… not breathed, he didn’t need to breath, but he… relaxed, like all the air had gone out of lungs he didn’t have in a sudden relieved whoosh.

He was safe here. He was safe with Batman Bruce. He was safe with Bruce’s family. He knew that, he knew that, he knew that.

Sometimes, still, the fear choked at him; made him feel like he couldn’t breath.

(He wondered what it was like to breath.)

(He used to breath, he thought.)

-----

AN: Getting back into writing both Bruce and this version of Phantom has been a task! But I think it's getting there. Our poor little shadow...

First two chapters are up on ao3 here:

I hope to have this chapter done and up in a week or two! As always, sorry for any typos in this first draft version, I'm suffering from the after effects of a sensory induced migraine still and my vision is a bit doubled. This is why I beg Moku to beta things for me lol

[ragnarokhound]

Hi wife. Staring at the green dot on your profile like my boy Gatsby and sending increasingly ridiculous asks in the hope of winning your heart.

not to bring up chapell roan, but have we considered the lyric “You could kiss a hundred boys in bars” for recently broken up jaytim?

I’m thinking Tim freaks out about love and affection™️ and totally ghosts Jason after their first kiss/near death experience. Jason runs into him at a club a few weeks later and sees that Tim is potentially kissing boys that ARE NOT JASON — cue angsty drama, maybe another near death experience where they save each other, and jason figuring out Tim ghosted because he’s a big chicken. Then (important for plot and character development) they have dirty dirty sex

Hi wife. You're yearning for something you already hold. Now come inside off the dock, the only thing you'll catch is your death of cold out here 💖 (I swear one of these days I'll find you dramatically floating face down in the swimming pool and it's gonna give me a goddamn heart attack /affectionate)

I'm so glad you know exactly what I like because a) good luck babe plays in my head 24/7 it was absolutely in the rotation when I was writing Secretary fic so how dare you and b) this is so up my alley for jaytim like you don't even know skdjfjks

In fact it's so up my alley that I'm gonna have to slap my response to this one under a cut cause it spiralled out of control:

Idk if you've noticed but I am deeply obsessed with Tim figuring out his own feelings re: Jason first and having a mcfreaking meltdown about them lmao.

Between the two of them, imo, he is much more of an anxious overthinker who will think he's making the most tactically sound decision because he really has thought it through with all the information he has access to -- but he always fails to give full weight to considering the best case scenario when it's something he wants. When it's something he feels selfish about. And boy, does he consider Jason Todd a best case scenario.

And mmmm I am so very here for jealous! and possessive!Jason. Especially when Jason didn't realize what he was feeling until after he's already acted on it. It is the bread and butter. Bonus points if he's not even trying to show it to Tim. Tim isn't the problem.

For instance: Tim's in the club, looking to see if he's just horny and needs to get it out of his system, come on, I cannot muck up the good thing I have just because I want some fuck-- and his prospective dance partners just start to dry up.

Because the big guy who looks like he's done time and a half keeps glaring daggers, keeps shoving his old partners off the dancefloor or knocking into them when they've come back with drinks for the cute twink they were totally gonna score with. Not anymore.

Jason thinks he's doing it because he's looking out for Tim. Because anyone with eyes can tell they just want Tim for one thing, and he deserves so much better than that.

When Tim realizes what's going on, he's already been grinding on this hot buff guy who came up behind him for two songs in a row. Tall, dark and silent keeps stopping Tim from turning around, and he doesn't slip a hand any lower despite all of Tim's silent offerings. Weird, but the anonymous gentleman act is kinda hot, so--

And then he glances at the round, silvered mirror in the corner. He clocks the white streak in the head of black hair dipped low over his, the gun callouses running rough over his bare stomach. He stiffens up in Jason's arms just long enough that he knows Jason knows he's been made. He drags him off to the bathrooms ("come on, handsome") and the second the doors shut and they're alone, he whirls on him.

They argue. Tim is embarrassed and it's coming out as anger, Jason is annoyed (and still processing the revelation he'd been having on the dancefloor, the one where Tim was lithe and warm in his arms, his long fingers twining through what hair he could reach at Jason's nape, where he smelled like sweat and musk and Tim and Jason found himself wanting to know if the gleaming patch of skin in the bare crook of his neck would taste the same--)

Jason is annoyed and has no explanation that will satisfy Tim. He wants to know why Tim ghosted him when the last mission they worked ended in bloody, near-disaster, and the case it was tied to still hasn't fully wrapped. He gets taking a few days off to recover, but it's been longer than that. Way longer, with no contact, no explanation, no 'I got shot so I'm gonna need a week or maybe three'. Wasn't Tim going to finish the job? He told Jason he would help. Did he lie?

It yanks the rug out from under Tim. Makes him feel small, and selfish. He promises Jason he'll come back to the case, he just had some things to figure out. But that's done now.

Jason loses the thread on his irritation as Tim deflates, hates the hunched, defensive hug he's giving himself, looking vulnerable and tired in his scanty clubbing fit under the cold LEDs flickering above the bathroom sink. He catches sight of the fresh pink scar, the one he'd just felt out under his palms not ten minutes ago with something bordering on relief. (And hunger.)

He wants to reach out, "Tim--?"

But Tim brushes past him, fleeing out the door and disappearing through the crowd before Jason can stop him.

-

Everything is fine. Totally 100% fine and dandy--

--is what they both are telling themselves.

Tim is doing his best to stifle his feelings, stomps down on them ruthlessly every time he catches them flaring up, and is counting the seconds until this is finally over and he can get to work dousing the massive fucking torch he's been holding in peace.

Tim comes back to help Jason with the rest of the case, but he's palpably distant, brittle when they banter-- and Jason hates it. He still remembers how Tim felt against him, how he'd melted into Jason, silently begging to be touched. For Jason to touch him.

It's been quietly rearranging some things in Jason's head. He's replayed their argument in the bathroom over and over. He thinks about Tim, about the timing of his disappearance--

(About the bullet he'd dug out of Tim's body, silver and red, and the desperate flow of his blood over Jason's wrists. About the night spent monitoring Tim's condition in a rundown safehouse, feeding him ice chips and brushing the hair out of his eyes, brushing off every bullshit attempt he made to tell Jason he was fine.)

--about figuring things out and avoiding Jason's eyes. And Jason wonders.

They have one last big bust to make, after days of stewing in their own unresolved tension. It goes down textbook; easy. In and out.

Except, at the last minute, during extraction, Jason gets shot. And Tim freaks.

He puts their plane on autopilot the moment they're clear (maybe a few moments before they're clear, actually) and dashes to where Jason is groaning just inside the bay doors. He's tight-lipped and grim-faced; his hands are fast and efficient, but shaking.

"Tim," Jason tries to say, but he gets shushed with a glare.

"Don't talk," Tim clips out. He undoes straps and disarms panels Jason thought were secret, and then he pulls out a pair of medical scissors.

"Tim--" Jason tries again, more urgently, but Tim doesn't even glance at him, just cuts through Jason's undershirt to expose--

"Oh," he breathes.

"Yeah. I'm okay," Jason sighs.

The crunched up bullet is caught in Jason's last layer of kevlar. The round they'd fired on him had been dramatically big, but Jason gets in firefights basically 24/7. He's padded to hell and back, even more than your average Bat. He'll have a wicked bruise and his rib might be sore for a week, but that's about it.

That's it.

Tim is still for an achingly long ten seconds, breathing shallow as he stares at Jason's armor. The proof that it's effective. And then he collapses.

He sits back heavily, elbows on his bent knees as he rubs his pale face. Jason watches as he visibly tries to pull himself back together, but relief keeps shaking him apart. Jason sits up.

Tim startles, tries to stand; Jason doesn't let him.

"Come here," he entreats, tugging Tim closer, firmly by the knees, to sit between Jason's legs with his thighs around Jason's waist, trembling under Jason's hands. "Don't go."

Tim twists his fists in Jason's jacket collar, eyes squeezing shut as Jason tips their foreheads together. Like he can't stand it. Caught in fight or flight-- but flight has been denied him.

"I know," Jason murmurs. "But don't go this time. Don't."

Tim drags in gasping breaths, and Jason runs soothing palms over his thighs, his waist, his arm, his neck. He thinks he understands. This feeling is too big. And if Tim is feeling half of what Jason feels, he gets why he'd want to run from it.

"Don't," he begs against Tim's mouth anyway. He kisses Tim until he moans into Jason, until he's sunk his fingers into Jason's hair; until he's sure he'll stay.

--AND THEN THEY HAVE DIRTY DIRTY SEX ON THE FLOOR OF THE PLANE AMEN