#9 from a week ago
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Freshly peeled quail eggs!
This is the second hatch from my jumbo wild type group. A friend of mine has been helping me ID the chicks. They're SUPPOSED to all be actual wild type, and you'd think that the biggest coturnix quail breeder in the US that brags about the quality of their quail, would be able to weed out color morphs from a wild type group and sell actual wild type hatching eggs. But here we are, so I'm going to make my own.
In other news, I did find a breeder in California that was breeding wild type feather celadon quail! This is very exciting to me, because I REALLY want to have a line of jumbo wild type Celadons. Plenty of meat, nice big eggs, easy to sex so breeding selections will go better and I can keep the population down easier. If I can switch my Celadons over to 100% wild type feather 100% celadon egg, I can sell or at least retire my plastic rack, since I won't need it for sexing birds anymore.
For now, I have the eggs in the incubator, I have chicks in the brooder, and my racks are finished and doing great for the birds so far!
#quail#the quails#quails#coturnix quail#my pets#celadon quail#i also had a pretty big celadon hatch but they were all subpar eggs#ones i just set for feeders#so 26 in the brooder from today#9 from a week ago#42 in the freezer
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No matter how special it is, a kid's lunch is still just a kid's lunch.
I dunno, I liked "The Genius Restaurant" (Episode 1,089).
Happy (belated) birthday, Jimjam.
[Song link] [YouTube link]
#detective conan#case closed#amv#my amvs#video#eye strain#conan edogawa#shinichi kudo#song is#nosedive#by#flor#ahahahaha i thought this would just be a chill edit and was like#'i did my last vid in 30 hours so i can do this one in less because it's shorter right? and because i'm mostly using one ep?'#wrong lol this took about 40-ish hours? nooooo idea how i did 'if you kill me' in 30...#aside from the audio i think that's a more complicated edit too ^^;#way late for jimjam's bday but i guess it's not *that* birthday related anyway... but it was my first thought for a bday edit haha#been meaning to do an amv for the ep for a while! special thanks to marivanilla05 for inspiring me to watch it with their great art#i'm so behind that i don't watch new eps much but i'm glad i skipped ahead and watched this one#special thanks to astravis for helping me with the beginning and to hex for the liveblog too!#i know it was a long time ago but that liveblog definitely inspired some choices here#that said i'm glad i waited because i think i'm a much better editor than i was last july (well hope so anyway!)#and this song only released a couple of weeks ago!#had tons of trouble picking a song (usually my amvs are song first but this was idea first) but i think i really like how this one fits#sources are mostly#episode 1089#but also episodes 1 14 52 and 192 and tv special 6 (episode one: the great detective turned small) and movies 13 and 16 and ova 9
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some weird guy and some normal guy (in reverse order)
#shuffling over holding this behind my back shyly. i miss drawing hc can i come back#grian#mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#hc s9#hermitcraft season 9#never coloured wings before in my life but he is based off of a plum starling btw ^.^ to meee#incredible drastic difference from my last grian drawing from literally only 2 weeks ago. so fun to me
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i'm actually not a lesbian yes the concept of heterosexual sex disgusts me on paper but it appeals to me with a few select men. and that's how i've always felt but the lesbian masterdoc which was written by a girl who turned out to be bi got me. and a lot of other bi women with a preference for women. it's crazy to have that much influence when you think about it
#i know how that sounds. but i want him BAD#yes it's the him i've been talking about i know i said i didn't think he was attractive like two weeks ago. but i happen to be very#attracted to him. these days#i actually am stealing that girl's man i'm sorry#when we're married like a week from now it's gonna be SOOOO HARD having to keep the fact that she likes him a secret because her being#jealous that we seemed to like each other is what made me go wait. DO WE?#i can tell him she thought he liked me and i liked him i'll just keep the part about her liking him out of the story#i've actually been thinking this for like two months not even because of this guy because the inconsequential crush i mentioned a few weeks#ago on someone i'm only seeing for three weeks from now until june was on a guy. and also other things#anyway. i think the concept of being bi and not wanting to date men needs to like be more mainstream i've seen the girls 'struggle with#comphet' and the comphet was literally an average crush on a man. lmao. like it's fine to not want to date men even if you're not incapable#of being into one#anyway. when i say i'm stealing this girl's man i'm obviously kidding it's just what i said in one of my posts. they're friends and he and#i are friends she and i are friendly but aren't friends she's kind of friends with my new bff but like not really since she told me her#secret that she has a crush on *guy*. what i mean is it's ethical she and i aren't friends. we've never texted that's the bare#minimum for being friends. but only in the broadest sense of the word (rory season 1 episode 9 rory's dance)#and like i say: brf slt
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The more I think about xmen creators constantly making Charles walk the more I go insane like ????? I can’t think of a single other instance where a marginalized character would have the thing that makes them marginalized removed (excluding mutations I mean like real world stuff) and for that creative decision to be repeatedly made and seemingly accepted by enough of the fan base to do it again and again??????? And it’s sure as hell not a matter of “oh we couldn’t include him in his wheelchair” bc HES GOT A HOVERCHAIR HE CAN GO ANYWHERE!!!!! Sorry I’m actually losing my marbles over this like
its genuinely baffling and aggravating at the same time. because the franchise is sci-fi it's 'easier' to excuse and get away with but at the same time it's a written world that only exists because of Man Made Decisions not because anything actually independent is happening in the world to MAKE it happen that's out of the writers' control
#snap chats#i am not sorry i repeat this is one of my biggest consistent gripes with the franchise it irks me to hell and back#its like the one thing i nkow sucks for certain without a doubt in my heart#like you literal weenies just give him a hover chair ... fit that chair with gadgets if you gotta idfk#ITS NOT AS IF THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE HIM IN HIS /REGULAR/ CHAIR SHOWING UP TO THINGS TOO#give him specialized chairs if you want. like that multi-terrain chair from issue 9 DONT PISS ME OFF that chair was cool ..#on a lighter note i started doodling that chair ..... weeks ago I Passed Out and i hadnt opened the canvas since vjELKVAERJ#maybe i should just get a paper sketchbook ... maybe ive tied work doodling with my tablet too much and i dont want to do leisurely doodles#in any case. marvel stop pissing me off about charles' disability#its so ironic and hypocritical too but anyways ..
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I miss my old coworkers!!! I miss having friends at work instead of passive aggressive assholes who don’t want to train me and then get annoyed when I don’t know things and act like my very existence irks them!!!!
#if this was part time I’d be able to handle it#but 9 hours a days day after day is genuinely putting me in the worst mindset I’ve had in months#like I go to my car during my break and sit there pushing tears back bc I feel alone and shunned!!!#and these are GROWN ASS WOMEN??#one of my old coworkers came in to pick up a medication the other day and when I saw her my entire body literally slumped with relief#like omg someone I know who doesn’t hate me!!!!#and we had a quick convo bc she was updating me on work tea and I was like wow I haven’t felt this happy since i started this job#almost 2 weeks ago and that was such a sad reality check lmfao#and like the only reason I got this job is bc I’m bilingual and they desperately needed that#and it’s like okay do you realize you need me?? bc I’m there most of the week the other bilingual girl is only there twice a week#and 99% of your clients don’t speak English so what’s gonna happen if I leave??#you’re going to have to find someone else and train THEM from the bottom just like me#you’re gonna be in the same position all over again!!!#this is all so infuriating
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hiiii every one... my school schedule is killing me this semester so i will probably not be blogging very much at all for like the foreseeable future
#i just realized that the last time i was online was a full week ago#with my school schedule im doing work sometimes 8am to like 8 or 9 pm and its exhausting#plus i set my tumblr password to 30 random digits that i printed out and stuck on my wall#so that every time i want to log in i have to type them all#which is to deter me from blogging all the time since i need to focus#16 credits + 2 jobs is not the move
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mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3
#u can ignore but!#in the process of secretly prepping to cut my mum off bc shes got total financial control over me (im 26)#i got a lot of money when i was 18 from an accident n shes basically in control of my assets bc she made it that wah#*way#if that makes sense#like i can only access my money if i go to the bank with her. she lives in a house i boyght her free of charge#sje bullied me into biying another house in wales so she can rent it out as a holidah home n use it as a free holiday spot n said i would#get an income from it but shes given me nothing in the 4/5 yrs weve had it#she put her name on the deeds to all my assets#so i have money but it is inaccessible#i need some bc i need to fund my phd next year but sje wont help me#anyways! thats lowkey besides the point#my dads got a brain tumor n my mum doesnt know i still see my dad bc she thinks i havent spoke to him since je left like 3 yrs ago#but i helped hjm leave bc she was abusing him n had been since i was like 9#n now im stressed out bc my dads not well and i feel like um running out of time with him#but hes in the hospital at the minute after having a siezure a few weeks after his brain surgery#so ive visited him like 3 days in a row n he remarried this year and my stepmum/sisters are so nice#its like having a real family#and it makes me feel guilty yo say that abt my mum n sister#like the guilt of havi g a bad parent is so real tonight fellas im just gonna sit n cry for a few dags#tbd.#if u read this far i love u .. whats hr zodiac#but yeah! this is why im so inactive#n bc im doi g my masters degree but . that pales in comparison rn
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god help me i'm going insane about dickson xenoblade again
#this is what i get for thinking about lord of the rings too hard this week (specifically denethor / gríma / saruman and the like)#thinking about the way anthony may delivered “when will you learn you HAVE no future?”#he thinks shulk is fully DEAD at that point. he thinks HE killed him. which he very much meant to. but now that the kid is no longer there#now that the terrible future he's been preparing for and actively working to bring about has in fact come about#i don't know that dickson really cared anymore. he played his part he did the deed expected and he did it unquestioningly. So What Now?#well. now nothing. now the world that he spent so long biding his time in; so long getting enmeshed in (even for nefarious purposes)#is about to end; is about to be gone forever.#sure zanza will probably just create another world and maybe he (dickson) will have Even More Power in the new one#(though that's not a given! he doesn't know for SURE his lord and god will keep his promise!)#but like. what the hell does he care at this point#dickson SAYS he wants power but i suspect that long long ago what the giant dickson really wanted was SURVIVAL.#we never get to know just how he became a disciple or what the giant civilization looked like in its heyday or how it ended#but in MY headcanon dickson saw that some kind of destruction coming and he wanted Out#and maybe he hated his peers and figured any power and prestige that came from this bargain was just a bonus#i think he thought of himself as a saruman type: powerful; remote; far above the petty troubles of mortals (even the long-lived high entia)#but i have always headcanoned that by his later days (i.e. when he started engaging w/colony 9; machina village; etc. in earnest)#he committed too hard to the bit and started “going native” as it were; started to give a shit in ways that he would never dare admit#maybe not as much of a shit as; you know; a regular guy would. but more than an immortal disciple and horseman of the apocalypse should.#and all the time knowing that all the world he'd seen would soon be gone#maybe everyone else can get fucked. but shulk had to die too. and that's what their god MADE them to do.#he can't allow himself to care or to hope for another option bc in his mind it's already over; decided; that's it#what else can you do in the face of ultimate power but bow to it and take whatever scraps may fall to an obedient servant?#“you have no future” nor does he except that shulk came back. except that the peoples of bionis/mechonis just wouldn't accept Fate.#and in some final rebellious corner of his mind he starts putting eggs in shulk's basket. “if they can't even defeat telethia they won't#stand a chance against me (or zanza)” so let's see if they CAN. oh they did? how about a dragon? oh fuck they defeated the dragon too?#well fuck. maybe there WAS another option all along. but will/can they stand against me; the final disciple? oh they can??#guess i'll die then bc i'm not looking THAT in the face. i am NOT unpacking my cowardice/failure/lack of vision after all these years.#good luck with that tho <3 you're welcome for the training btw. where i'm going i don't have to see your trauma assuming you live that long.#dickson#xenoblade
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Damn not running for two weeks really fucks you up I just ran 9 miles and now I feel like I need to take a nap. What am I, 5?
#jk jk v normal to be tired after running 9 miles just not for me usually#it hasn’t even been a full two weeks either I ran 3 miles a week ago#I ran 6 miles yesterday and my legs WERE SORE TODAY absolutely insane#but cest la arbitrary recovery period I suppose#good to know that when I do my 40 mile long run in November before my next race I will not need a long time to recover from it#running#it’s kind of fun tho bc I get to speedrun re-adaptation#but it also is annoying
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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tfw historiographical memory emerged not as a first-order victory over time and contingency, but as a second-order victory over forgetting and also btw pharsalia nostra vivet
#quote from i can’t remember which alexandra lianeri paper / pharsalia book 9#SO true @ the me who drafted this post several weeks ago#a lock against oblivion#beeps
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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more photo diary posts.. various life images...
#photo context/information described here in the tags since there are no longer photo captions#(from top left to right) Image 1: BIG matcha bubble tea milkshake thing I made lazily by just getting a thing of matcha#ice cream and blending it up then adding some of those bobas you make at home lol.. served in the weird giant wine glass looking thing I h#have. image 2: the moon and two stars (or planets)!! not a very good photo/barely visible but I'm suprised I was able to get anyting#at all.#image 3: one of my WiiFit game scores ghh. A PERFECT score in this game like the minimum you could possibly get though is 15 seconds so#16.9s is VERY close.. ! image 4: some of the eyes I've carved so far out of avocado pits! one of them I even embedded a gem into for#the pupil type part of the eye. I think this is my favorite thing to make so far in my experiments with avocado. I was thinking of making a#whole necklace of eyes or something.#image 5: NASTURTIUMS... MY children.. favorite flowere...#image 6&7 : some little flowers I found in someone's yard. I Just Think They're Neat#image 8: I don't even remember why I took a picture of this it's just at tiny turkey and cheese pinwheel type rolled sandwich thing#maybe because the plate is tiny?? not very notable but. I added it to the photoset when i drafted this a week ago so . keeping it#image 9: a smoothie thing of coconut ice cream and fresh strawberries with some boba#image 10: various sketches from my desk where I jsut draw absentmindedlty on the keyboard tray all the time#if I am allowed to have a white surface near me i WILL draw on it lol#photo diary#eyes tw#eye contact#idk what to tag the eyes as or if it counts since theyre not real it's just painted wood basically? let me know if it should be something#different or another tag
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absolutely wild that within a month and a half I watched all 7 seasons of 911 going from “I’m not watching that” to “it’s my new favourite show” to now where idk if I’m even gonna watch season 8 because the finale was such a mess and a letdown
#noah watches 9-1-1#911 spoilers#911 abc#like not even saying it from the buddie angle bc this is the first ship in a long time that’s made me feel so obsessed so like whatever#but just in general as a fan of Eddie that was a fucking pointless mess#like what cliffhanger bro all of that I predicted weeks ago
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uterus has been yeeterused
#so i had a hysterectomy about two weeks ago and it's insane how much better i feel not only physically but mentally#i havent felt this in tune with my body since i was a kid#i finally feel like im on the path to how i want my body to be like and i never understood just how much i was affected by#both gender dysphoria and physical disease (endometriosis) until i got almost everything removed in there#im solidly sure im nonbinary now instead of having conflicting feelings about it#i feel much better about expressing my strange femininity and being perceived as feminine#i feel more spiritual too?? idk how to describe it#im just confused a little about why this had such a big impact on me since yeah it did give me dysphoria to a degree but i didnt think it#was THAT bad#i feel more in tune with my child self; like i feel like a grown up version of my 9 year old self and more confident#my mind is much calmer and i just feel so present and one with my body. i finally feel like i could meditate comfortably withouf wanting to#escape my mind or body?? idk idk it's so so weird#anyway im also in much less pain despite not being able to do much of anything and still healing from surgery#and i know that having this done isnt a cure but god i hope i get lucky and that the endo doesnt come back anyway#it's amazing to be able to love my body instead of being mad at it because it causes me pain and does things that i dont want it to#idk if that's a fully healthy mindset or not but that#that's what's been going on in my life so far
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