#i feel more spiritual too?? idk how to describe it

[southernvampire]

uterus has been yeeterused

[normal-nightmare]

It's me again and please keep yapping this is the tasty content I come here for. lol I've been sitting here a while (longer than is polite) trying to form a proper response to my previous ask cause it was literally everything! I wish I could be half as eloquent instead of just yelling XD

like there are so many things that draw me to these two, and ngl it definitely started with the whole pseudo-incest vibe but they really are so complex and you really hit the nail with this:

Just... they're so complicated and it sucks that people don't wanna explore that because of the preconceived notion that they're brothers, nothing more, nothing less. Sure, legally they are, but they don't... act like it? They didn't grow up together, they weren't very close before Jason died, and they only recently started getting properly close. Jason also has his crush thing going on (seriously, how else am I supposed to interpret RHATO v2 annual 1??)

Look I will forever maintain Dick was Jason’s gay awakening and that boy has been in love with Dick since he was what 12? 15? Also the way you described their relationship to each other was so delicious and alterous is such a great term for them.

I feel like jaydick becoming canon one day would be a natural progression of their relationship. Especially since they seem to be getting paired up as a duo more often. Readers love them, comic artists and writers like them too- i feel like jaydick actually happening one day wouldn't be extremely surprising.

THISTHISTHIS!!! I hope this does happen.🙏

Also re: dickbabs and not making certain characters bisexual I feel that on such a spiritual level. Like I’m sorry but both Jason and Dick read as queer to me? Idk how to describe it. Which is why I love the little touch of bi Dick in Gotham Knights.

Also speaking of Gotham Knights, I finally finished it and holy fuck what the fuck? One of my few complaints is that I wish it was longer. I need GK2: electric boogaloo but this time with a Poison Ivy case file because reasons. I adored every interaction Dick and Jason had, from the emails to the flirting in front of everyone’s salad, plus how they were almost always near each other? (also Jason looked so good in that post credit scene in the Batcave I choose to believe every time he wears it, Dick can’t keep his hands to himself 🫣)

ALSO

I genuinely feel like the writers were intending for jaydick to happen in a DLC given how much setup there is.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this? I want to yell about this game so much. I wish I had someone to play co-op with me so I could see some of those Jaydick interactions too 😞

GOD honestly i have a million thoughts on Dick and Jason's relationship in Gotham Knights?? Because what the HELL is going on in that game!!!

It utterly BAFFLES me when other people read their interactions (Belfry, cutscenes, whatever) as brotherly/familial bc like... if you're interacting with your family like that I'm so concerned?? Bc they're gay as hell!! They flirt the ENTIRE GAME. Like... it's ridiculous how in-your-face they are about it. It's not even gay subtext anymore, it's just... text. Saying they're not gay in Gotham Knights is like saying Jayce and Viktor were 'just brothers' in Arcane to me LMFAO.

Like... the rooftop scene for one reads as really BAD flirting on Dicks part. It doesn't feel like he's being deliberately silly to cheer up Jason until he fakes falling over the edge, THEN he's properly silly. The entire scene otherwise, he's just... being really bad at flirting? And it's funnier that both that and then him being silly actually kinda WORKS on Jason. He laughs (laughs!!), relents and let's Dick sit next to him! It's so, so cute!!

And then the little interaction where Dick says that the Belfry needs a cat, and then Jason suddenly flirts with him?? Like the line "Listen, Grayson, if you're scared of some mouse you saw scurrying, I'll keep you safe." Is ABSOLUTELY flirting, and this is only supported by A) the tone Jason has and B) the way Dick stutters and stumbles over his words afterwards. Like, Dick is AUDIBLY flustered and surprised by this. He tries sooo hard to keep it cool but that boys BLUSHING.

And then there's the tension in some scenes?? When they argue in the beginning and when Dick puts a hand on Jason's wrist (after Jason jokes about making Tim a fake ID), and kind of the scene where Jasons mad, and he's sparring with Dick and Dick catches his fist and says "Easy, Tiger." Like.... the tension in these scenes goes crazy?? The physical closeness, the eye contact, the brief silence, calling Jason tiger?? Like I CANNOT be crazy thinking that there's at least a LITTLE sexual tension in these moments. Juuuust a little 🤏

And like! Yeah you're 100% on them being so physically close most of the game. It's hard to find scenes where they AREN'T standing right by each other. And their stories focus a lot on each other!! At least Dicks story focuses a lot on Jason! Like... a LOT, it's 90% Dicks story 😭

And the like,, nicknames. Dick calls Jason things like Big Guy, swole, and Miracules throughout the game, like, consistently. He points out Jason's size and strength a lot?? (His size and strength kink is so blatantly obvious, good lord this man is horny LMAO. I don't blame him though... 👀) and then Jason mainly calls him Grayson, but when he's being vulnerable he calls him Dick? Which is so cute?!

And a cute little detail is how angry Dick gets on Jason's behalf when Talia says they should be grateful she brought Jason back even though she took away his autonomy and used him. Like, Dick is PISSED! Lowkey he's so ready to throw hands right there.

And i think one of my favorite interactions is when Dick chooses to take Jason to a circus that's in town. Like! He's literally asking Jason out on a DATE. And it's the cutest thing ever?! Jason is surprised and it's just... it's so sweet.

And in general they have the sweetest interactions and emails. It's adorable how they kinda talk about Tim like they're proud parents, and it's also cute how they kinda bicker over the perfect sandwiches cause they sound like a married couple loll.

Just!! Auuggghhhh they're so CUTE in Gotham Knights! There's a mountain of setup there for a romantic relationship. It's very in your face, and honestly impossible to ignore if you have ears and eyes. I'm sure there's more i'm missing or just haven't mentioned, but it's so blatant it feels like it couldn't have been on accident.

Just... it's so cute, I'll never get over it 😭

[lxmelle]

I don’t think Gojo died dissatisfied, or with any regrets.

Just a personal opinion that I wrote on twitter/X but I also wanted to capture and put into words here.

I can see how and why it can be interpreted that he did die with at least 1-2 regrets. However... as I read and re-read and thought about it to the point of being overthunk (lol), I have come to conclude (for myself at the very least), that he died with peace in his heart.

First we see him grumble about being wrong about dying alone because he told Megumi this. Then, he said he had unfinished business with informing Megumi about his dad, to which being a largely accepting/stoic person (kinda like the “resignation man” thing again that Gege described him - not necessarily in a negative way) really helps, because he readily accepts that he left it to Shoko and would be taken care of on his behalf.

So with that regard, he was at peace.

Next, Gojo admitted that he couldn’t reach Sukuna, and for that, he was apologetic/sorry/regretful (Not so much disappointed, due to the usage of the phrase 申し訳なく which conveys more of a sense of humility and responsibility, rather than feelings of being let down).

This is an important one for me... because if we understand how human bodies work in real life, and also if we subscribe to some form of faith/spirituality (in this case maybe Buddhism), the physical body actually takes time to die and the soul therefore takes time to depart the body.

We see Gojo smirk at the end of Sukuna’s speech saying that Gojo had “cleared his skies” and would be remembered by him for as long as he lived.

This can be interpreted in two ways (or both) - one, that those words were conveyed and Gojo heard them, understanding that he did reach Sukuna in some way. And 2nd that he smirked knowingly that he could “bet on the future” / the next generation, with what Yuta would do with his body…

Which also aligns with his soft reaction to what Nanami said about betting on the future. Gojo did his best with his students too.

So much so that he jokes with Yaga that he was wrong about sorcerers all dying with regret!

So with the body taking time to die, I see it as something similar with what happened with Jogo and Choso - their last moments took some time to happen.

As Jogo was burning, he met with his friends and had his send-off / acknowledgment from Sukuna that he was strong, that it was fun, and that he could stand proud. Jogo died feeling he had worth and believed he would reunite with his friends.

As Choso was shielding Yuji (I’m still not recovered from this btw) he also had his send-off at the long table with Yuji. He died protecting his brother, which gave him absolute meaning and purpose as a human being and not a curse. Similar situation at the end can be said about Nanami (arguable whether the process of dying was beginning to happen with his hallucinations of being at the beach) with his brief send-off with Haibara standing before him. They were consolidating their lives at their final moments. Expressing any regret/sorry’s helped them pass on peacefully. I’ll spare you the picture of mortally wounded Nanami 😢

Another one I won’t put a pic of would be Hajime’s death where he and Sukuna have an exchange too. I don’t know if he died with regret or not, but he got his answer at the very least - what he was searching for.

As for Nobara, we see her with the chairs, her thoughts and reflections - saying her farewells / apologies, and finally concluding that her life wasn’t so bad 😢

Those with mortal wounds to the head seem to die a little more immediately, so their vision of salvation / death dream / whatever you want to call it - appears to happen a little bit earlier. But it doesn’t stray too far from the theory that a “good death” comes to some of the characters in the jjk world and it exists in a space... uhh... we can describe as “between dream and reality”??? 🫣 idk about what/who is right or wrong. We know different characters have different theories about things - just like in real life I guess. Nevertheless I (as a reader) want to believe there is some kind of afterlife.

Back on topic: Gojo’s other “disappointment” was that he wished that Geto was there to “pat him on the back”. He would have been satisfied if Geto was there.

And now, well, Geto was there. Flowery speech bubbles and all. So I think the fact that he was with him as a soul, reunited, was enough of a pleasant surprise.

Enough for Gojo to go into “husband is home from a hard day’s work - time to let go and grumble” (lol). And Geto wasn’t a flower because Gojo wanted him to understand him, so I can see how this was satisfying for Gojo, who felt he wanted to catch up to Geto.

Narratively/Thematically it also makes sense that Gojo was at Geto’s end (sending him off), and Geto was at Gojo’s end (picking him up). You know... “you’re late”x2 “you’re early”? “I was left behind”x2 “I have to catch up?” (These two were just busy chasing each other).

Yeah. It wouldn’t take away the satisfaction over all that happened just because Geto wasn’t there to pat him on the back - because then dying would leave him behind. And crucially, Gojo prayed that being there at the airport wasn’t a dream. So he was satisfied with being reunited and being there with everyone.

My conclusion is basically this: I think that Gojo fully died physically when he smirked. A human body left to bleed out with a wound like that would take time to stop functioning. But we know that mercifully he was mostly dead, which was why his consciousness was at the airport. Arguably, where his soul needed to be. He would’ve internalised Sukuna’s message as his body physically died, which could explain why it reacted.

So if we believe that it wasn’t just a hallucination and there is an afterlife (there are many reasons to believe there is, with talk of soul resonance, reincarnation, etc.), just as how Geto knew Gojo fought Sukuna, the souls in the afterlife have awareness of what goes on in the world of the living.

I’m pretty certain that one way or another, Gojo would have received the knowledge that Sukuna had praise for him, even if he couldn’t reach him with his humanity. So there were essentially no “regrets”.

Gojo was satisfied with having left the information for Megumi for Shoko to deliver, with how he died in battle to someone stronger, that he was able to satisfactorily go all out & felt he had fun, that Sukuna acknowledged him, that he could bet on the future, and that he was also reunited with Geto & his friends from his youth.

Yes, so… I believe that Gojo died satisfied.

🥲 RIP Gojo Satoru. I hope you and Geto have a good time in the afterlife.

[jesncin]

adding onto the conversation about Xanthe Zhou's outfit...

as another chinese-american, I see a lot of clothing that claims to be "inspired" but all it does is make western clothes in silk brocade or remake the same red qipao or tangzhuang people wear in old kung fu movies.

it's frustrating to see only those takes on traditional clothes when there are so many things to choose from! chinese history is expansive, to put it lightly, and even us ABCs have access to a range of traditional clothing.

my specific issue with Xanthe's is that, to me, it's just a reskinned version of Mulan's casual clothes in Wreck-It Ralph 2 (from 2018, while I'm p sure Xanthe debuted in 2023).

technically they have an undershirt with the mandarin collar, but it feels like almost an afterthought. it doesn't even differentiate itself with the slanted neck opening that goes to the side (idk what to call it, examples below from an article on hakka clothing)

the writer, Alyssa Wong, is chinese-american (as is one of the editors), and the penciler, Haining, is taiwanese, but that doesn't automatically make their work un-critiquable representation.

I don't doubt that it resonates with some people - my issue is that it's an incredibly safe design, one that doesn't introduce anything new to western audiences. the clothes they wear while hero-ing can be anything, and that's what the creative team chose?

I have other feelings about the fact that they chose to make Xanthe have spiritual powers, which feels like it is not helping the "Chinese people are a mystical kung fu people" stereotype in the US, (especially given how few chinese-americans are given their own comic run at dc), but I digress.

Yes to all of this!! I get why people like Xanthe's fashion as a character design, but in terms of creative innovation and a design that informs a character's narrative,,,Xanthe's clothes look more like an easy way to cosplay the character over anything else :I like you said, we've got this after-thought yellow mandarin collar and a bomber jacket with motif on it. It's giving "clunky way of combining traditional and modern". I even made the Wreck It Ralph Mulan outfit comparison too because it really isn't new!! It's such a mainstream safe look that Disney put Mulan in it. Not even a hanfu for Xanthe? Aiyah

Indeed! Spirit World has an majority-asian team of creatives and hey it's cool to see an entire creative team with their names written out in hanzi in the credits but that doesn't guarantee an infallible piece of fiction free of criticism. Including the representation. Especially when it comes to inter-community critique, we're more than allowed to be critical of the creative choices on display.

Exactly!! "Safe" is the key word when describing Xanthe and Spirit World. Like it's not outwardly horrible and offensive design (or story), but it's also not saying anything either other than bland "cool". Xanthe's in generic jeans for H'ronmeer's sake. The most fashion-safe statement of all time. For your non-binary Chinese character? Come on. Even Cass got a better outfit in Spirit World >_>

I agree on the whole Spiritual powers thing actually! If they're pairing Xanthe with Johnstantine, I wish they pulled more from Vertigo Hellblazer's approach to the occult and spiritualism. My friends here are practicing shamans, and I think having a Hellblazer approach to the stuff they go through would be so neat. But instead we got. Fighting spirits and demons in fantasy-spirit land with a giant sword spectacle. Like part of why I find the giant sword exhaustively trite is because it's just a signifier for folks to see a cool anime-looking weapon and see how it works in Hollywood-fu fight scenes. It has no deep storytelling purpose other than to look cool. Spectacle seems to topple the grounded reality of Chinese spiritualism here.

Generally I feel like Xanthe suffers the "Superhero first, secret identity second" problem- where the creatives were so focused on what would make a cool superhero that they let the interiors of Xanthe's life and culture fall by the wayside. We don't get to know how Xanthe came to terms with their culture as a Chinese American, or how that intersects with being non-binary. Or even how they choose to express that with the clothes they wear. Just look at the cool fight scenes.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I restart an argument with a friend?

🌊⚓ <- so I can search for it.

So, a while ago, a friend was over and we talked. She is from South Germany while I am from North Germany, where we are both living (this'll be important in a sec).

I don't really remember why we were talking about the topic, but we started talking about regional dialects and sayings and then she called Low German* a dialect. Which tldr: big no-no. But I don't think she was being malicious, she just didn't know about the topic at all.

So naturally I explained: "You absolutely cannot call Low German a dialect to peoples faces around here. People will take offense to it. I don't really, because I consider the difference between dialect and language is arbitrary to begin with. But you will provoke incredibly unkind reactions from other people."

Her response was "Yeah but like. Doesn't everyone think their own dialect should be a language."

And... Idk why that one hurt but it did. It just felt incredibly dismissive. And I didn't really know how to respond other than "but this is the one case where it is true" which felt weird so I just. Didn't. We kinda moved on to other topics. But in hindsight, I really wish I hadn't?

Because I wish I had explained it in depth to her so she understands why what she said is considered unacceptable. But also for her own sake, because she will piss people off if she says the same thing to other people. And honestly for my sake so I can make peace with the conversation.

So I'm considering either finding a way to restart the argument/ conversation when we are together or go the cowardly route and send her a couple screenshots explaining the topic. But I also feel like restarting a fight we never really had and really doesn't matter is kind of a dick move.

Additionally I tend to be a person that corrects people when they are wrong and starts discussion way too much. Because in my family academic debates are a love language.** So I tend to reaaaaaally overestimate the amount of debating/ arguing people are comfortable with. They tend to perceive me as being upset with them while I am just having fun hashing out a topic from different angles.

So Tumblr. WIBTA?

Footnotes

* Low German is the regional language of North Germany. The definition of North Germany is actually pretty much "wherever they are speaking Low German". There is some controversy if Low German is a dialect or a language. Which like... People often describe it as closer to Dutch and English than Standard German, it's a recognised language in every state it is spoken in, it is recognized as a regional language in the fucking European Union WHY is it still controversial.

It is also very much an endangered language because in the past decades especially it has been looked down on as being "lower class". No that's not where the name comes from, low german is spoken where the terrain is flat/ low and high/ upper german is spoken where the mountains are. This attitude towards Low German is shifting a lot recently but it is entirely possible it's too late to prevent it from dying out.

** I felt like this part needed some clarification too. I can't count how many dinners in my childhood were spent eating while getting into the meat of whatever topic caught our attention. Politics or science or more spiritual stuff. Ask questions about things we were wondering about. Absolutely tear into each other when we had opposing positions, but concede when we were convinced. Oftentimes I'd get up to grab pen and paper, or demonstrate orbital dynamics with the jam container, a bowl and my plate, or use the butter as an impromptu drawing board.

But that doesn't mean we were fighting in the normal sense even if someone got upset occasionally. It was really just communicating with one another. It was connecting. Exercising our debate skills. Play-fighting but make it academia. It was genuinely fun to us and still is. An alternative outlet for sibling rivalry. There is no need to fight over the TV remote when you can just reason it out together.

So yeah. That's how academic debates can be a love language (and simultaneously absolutely destroy your conception of what is considered arguing).

[brokerplushsg]

Haiyyaaa!! I don't know if someone's asked you this before but what are your thoughts on all the taints / emotions from Block Tales and their domains??

I love your fear interpretation from the blog and I just gotta know what you think about the other three!!

I may also want to just hear what other people think about the taints in general because I'm so very (not) normal about them right now. Oops! :3c

- @afeatherypileofjunk

Ight yipppeee and tysm for enjoying my rp blog :3 (I plan on starting a 2nd one soon hehehehhe)

Tbh in general I love all of them for like different aspects

And welp, if u wanna know more, RANT BELOW YIPPEEEE

Idk how to sort this out but ig Ill yap about Greed first because ngl I love him and also screw it some head canons too

So first of all Im stealing that one artist's hc that they have some form of vitiligo, so there are like slightly lighter yellow patches all over their body, also making them kinda piebald I like my cheese mouldy bruh!!! Anyways, speaking about piebald, I kind of want to based them of the pied piper, leprechauns and some others, ngl for this section I am still looking for inspo, mostly mythological beings or something hehehwhwgsjdgdhsn

Also as you expected ya he's def a flamboyant and arrogant extroverted spoiled brat of a rich kid and will defintely cry and scream like a spoiled brat if they dont het what they want. Because of his nature in general they have no friends in general and they definitely not tryna fill that lonely hole in their heart with their greed and taking stuff and whatnot hehehehehehe

It's a somewhat vicious cycle, but dw, as hopeless as bro is, salvation is not impossible

Anyways onto Solitude, honestly I see them as very insightful despite being asleep since the begining or whatever, low intelligence, but high wisdom. Very elusive and mythical, as they are based on Kelpies, Sirens, Water nymphs and maybe even babayaga and much more. Also I think they would have like a nautical motivf because water, ocean, ya. And therefore they definitely have a good sense of direction, and knows how to infer from nature to know the directions like measuring the stars. Speaking about such things, Solitude would definitely know spiritual stuff, like knowing how to read horoscopes, knowing how to use tarot cards. And because of said insight, they can accurately tell a person's personality as well as even their backstory from a single glance.

Although Solitude doesn't care that much about materialistic things, they secretly really love shiny stuff, especially crystals, they are obsessed with crystals. They have a secret collection hidden deep within their waters that they especially don't want a particular SOMEONE to raid and steal everything. Speaking about that, they are the kind who would yell back at a screaming child to get them to shut up. Said screaming child is Greed. Yeah the 2 have beef, and Solitude always verbally insults them in very, interesting ways. (Also should mention not the type to swear except in russian or any other slavic language) also even tho Solitude bullies them 99% of the time, there is indeed a 1% where they can be nice, because they do feel just a pinch of sympathy for Greed.

Anyways, they also feel like its their responsibility to take care of him sometimes so that they don't do something stupid as much as their introverted ahh hates going out

Also, as much as Solitude hates it, they do have some connections with Greed, as much as they have connections with Fear, physically and in some other ways idk how to describe

Okay for fear I kinda yapped it all about in their parody blog but Ill elaborate more on some things like their relationship with Solitude, where again they learned to somewhat be "braver" and to accept themselves more or something idk shdgjdbend. Although, Fear is indeed more inclined to having high intelligence rather than wisdom. Also yeah Fear is more ambiverted because aside from being slightly scared of people, they do crave a little interaction because they definitely do have a little FOMO.

Also because why not ill yap a lil about Hatred as well. Ain't gonna reveal much because spoilers to rp events planned ahead but HOHOHO, y'all better hate it, because they ain't gonna be "mean little cat boys" like the rest on this site, they are an actual asshole and I am confirming they are definitely soon enough going to hurt somebody in the rp and I will not confirm or deny if somebody in the rp is dying as well.

We will have to see ;3

Although, I will say, Hatred is simply a pawn for a bigger entity, that Imma be real, I am not sure will show up because I don't have plans yet, however, just know that Hatred will be the main antagonist for a long, dang time.

Anyways I should say like how the 3 are connected to each other so uh, idk if anything below this would make sense or not 😭

Greed is like humanity, Fear is like nature, Soitude is the inbetween

Fear represents spirituality, Greed represents materialism, Solitude is the connection between the physical and the unseen

Fear is like the past, something primal with the appreciation of life, Solitude embraces what is modern yet respects the roots of the wild, Greed is like the present, something so modern with ignorance for life since its so easy to live now with everything that we have

Greed is a sin, Solitude is a state, fear is an emotion.

With Fear as an emotion, it has the grip and control in most minds, not only that of humans, but of animals and nature too, everyone's afraid of something and I mean bro started to exist alongside the first vertabre. Everything wants to live, and disregarding fear is to accept death.

However, Fear is also the least bound to their nature because emotions can be more of a spectrum instead of a set thing, and plus many times fear can be felt but bravery can still be there, it ain't usually holding back a lot. (thus why they ain't like a scardey cat 100% of the time)

Solitude as a state has the grip on quite a lot, but not as much as fear, as well some people are naturally introverts, so may seek out less social interactions and some animals are purely solitary and not social. You can enjoy or hate being solitary, it's neutral after all.

However, Solitude does have more of a grip on certain people, especially humans because despite being a social species, and individuals wanting to be with others, they may be rejected from the rest due to certain issues like different appearances, preferences, etc. Because its such a subjective thing, Solitude is also not entirely bound to their nature, still close to it tho.

Greed is called a sin for a reason. Although some animals can be considered "Greedy" like pigs and squirrels, it's not entirely fair to compare them with Greed, as they do not know any better, and are just following their instincts programed into them for survival. Greed is a very, human thing.

And yes, like every other of the embodiments, it can be found in everyone, it's only a fraction of the population that it dominantly rules over *side eyes almost every company head ever especially roblox* and unlike the other 2, being neutral good or true neutral, Greed, is straight up bad. Getting all you want and not giving it to those who need it more. It can be ignorance, it can be intentional. Still horrible though.

Because of being such a defined nature that is such deeply rooted into humanity, of course it's hard for Greed to be apart from their nature, which is really unfortunate, because owning materialistic things aren't all there is to life, and Greed definitely yearns more than just those materialistic items, but such things that he yearns cannot be received unless he gives up those materialistic things. It's this or that, no both, but he wants everything, and therefore they will never be satisfied. Tragic, isent it?

However, once again there is a silver lining. Even though they so tightly entwined with their concept, their sentience shows that there's more to him aside from that and change is possible. Will be slow, will definitely be hard, but with determination, they can break out of their own nature. Might be death for themselves, but it's the only way for freedom.

Ngl writing all this makes me feel like a madwoman with a tinfoil hat trying to spread some kind of conspiracy or something shejhdjehd

Idk if y'all would even get anything especially the second half of this yap session but DO YALL SEE THE VISION???

I AM NOT DELULU RIGHT YALL CAN UNDERSTAND MY THOUGHT PROCESS RIGHT???

RIGHT????

Anyways I hope u enjoy this hehehehe I think I spent like an hour or 2 thinking and writing this breh

Also

ALL THIS IS DEF SUBJECTED TO CHANGE SINCE ITS DEFINITELY NOT ENTIRELY SOLID AND LIKE I JUST THOUGHT OF MOST OF THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT

(Although some have been simmering in my brain for a long while)

[asukiess]

..top five books

so. I read maybe. 2 books or so in 2022, 4 in 2023, and this year I've read close to 20? anyway. that's all to say I have a limited selection to pick from because I only recently was inspired to kick those numbers up <3

Well of Loneliness. I talk about it so much. I think about it so much. there was so much that was surprising to me about this book, but also the way Radclyffe describes Stephen's emotions is sooooo incredibly visceral, and the situations are so. AUGH!!!! stephen's early life and her struggles with gender identity, her feelings of otherness, her realization of her queerness, how she always feels "too big" and too much like a man and how others comment on her body/abilities/preferences, how she feels so different from her childhood girl "friend" (I forget her name, violet?), how Roger picks on her, how Radclyffe painted a picture of being an introspective, othered child is absolutely astounding. and then!!!! literally everything else that happens to stephen!!!! AUGH the family lineage, her dating world, the way it talks about the divide of lesbians vs. gay men and how stephen and mary view being queer and UGH!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!! I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!! and it's written so gorgeously.

Bunny. I don't really need to say more than what we've discussed at length. Before my next book, I think this was legit my most annotated book. they also look like the ramblings of a mad woman. I was obsessed. I think the ideas about creativity are really, really interesting and have stuck with me. No one does the slight abject horror and magical realism like Mona!!!! 🙏🫶😵‍💫

Upstream (by Mary Oliver). I've moved this from the bookshelf to my bedside/desk. it has become somewhat of a daily devotional book to me.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (and much in the same vein, The Things They Carried). I grouped these together because I read them around the same time and they also had incredible similarities and have both stuck with me. When I read TTTC, I was constantly underlining and just annotating "FWTBT" ajddbsj. For as much as I read about Hemingway's "rugged, closed-interior" man, Robert Jordan was surprisingly open and fun to read and there was a part near the end that suddenly brought tears to my eyes. His and Anselmo's "you musn't take pleasure in the killing", the matador descriptions by Pablo's wife, the WHOLE chapter where it describes the public executions..... that was seriously an elevation on a spiritual level for me idk. insane chapter and the ideas of mob mentality etc etc.

Doppelganger by Naomi Klein. don't exactly want to delve into politics on a fandom blog, but this was an illuminating read for me, and I plan to check out her other books as well, esp the Shock Doctrine.

[kaddyssammlung]

Spirituality in Sleep Token lyrics - Part 3 (last part)

Part 1 Part 2

Rain

“That the vicious cycle was over”

I have this connected to those endless reincarnations that we had or had to have. In a way we were being kept in this planet, almost trapped. I say almost because you could always “leave” you probably just have forgotten how it works and also I know that most of you don't believe stuff like this anyway XD. But I do. For me the vicious cycle is also over because I remember how to end it. Everything is out there. All the knowledge. But it has to resonate with you otherwise you just call me crazy and that's it then. I don't care about that. Many probably think that anyway.

“and just like the rain”

I have a meditation where the instructor says “imagine it like cosmic rain” and everytime she does I start singing: and just like the rain...

Something is being alchemised, transformed into something. He sings you cast the dust into nothing. I wonder if he really means someone or if he talks about himself. I could talk more abut energy work and what it's like to have higher dimensional beings work with you. How they support and hold you. When Vessel sings that chorus it's what I think about: energy work.

“I feel my shadow dissolving”

Have a video abut Carl Jung. That term “shadow work” is coming from him. This has something to do with all of us in a way. I was not aware of what was hiding in my shadow. Until it bit me in the *ss. It helped me heal but it was also painful.

“will you cleanse me with pleasure?”

I should write about the things that I'm experiencing at the moment. There is weird stuff going on at the moment. I can feel certain things healing and I'm starting to feel things again. Maybe even wanting to sleep with someone again?! I have not felt that in years now. I was too hurt and too much stuck in trauma response.

“it's that chemical cut that I can get down with”

Yes my dear. “No fap” or whatever this is called. It's just common not to do certain things for sometimes. It's interesting to see what effect it has on your body. Yes I have done that btw. I like trying things out.

“I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent”

Raise the serpent just means something with you chakra energy. In my words I would just describe this being aware of your energy centers, your chakras and also working with them. But to raise the serpent is a “spiritual expression”. It has something to do with your kundalini being pictured as a snake. I don't even know why that is. I actually don't care about stuff like that.

Take Me Back To Eden

To me Eden means something like heaven. With heaven I don't mean a place that you can go to, I mean a frequency. I still have a vague feeling for this Eden type of state. Sometimes I have short glimpses of it. It's really something that I can't describe. A deep connection to everything. Maybe that describes it best. I'm simply here (on this planet) to remember all of these things and therefore turn this place into home again. Idk if that makes sense. You know me...right? That's just how I see it.

“and now the weightlessness recedes”

I hate gravity. Next time you drop your toast and it falls butter first to the ground: I bet you will have the same thought XD

Gravity...so damn enthralling. Right, Vessel?! It feels like it. Whatever...not that important.

“of a pathway higher”

Makes me think about those times where different timelines existed. You could kind of “hop” into one with a higher frequency. Idk if someone is interested in stuff like that. Probably not but that's how I have this connected. Different frequencies mostly.

“I will travel far beyond the path of reason”

you wandered from the path, a pathway higher, path of reason....so many paths to choose from?!

I guess I really had to fall to ground and wake up in hospital against my will and experience my lowest so I could really have an open heart and finally be willing to change. That's what I have this connected with. That stupid saying how your wounds let the light into you or something like that. It is true but it does almost sound cynical.

“we've no idea what we've got until we lose it”

I know. This is also true on a collective level. We gave up that “Eden state” so that we could evolve and learn. Being here on this planet in that dense three-dimensional-state meant learning fast. But this too shall pas or nothing lasts forever. We have learned enough for now that's why many of us are starting to remember those “truths”. Idk how to call it or explain this.

“and no amount of self-sought fury will bring back to glory of innocence”

Self-sought fury...I had plenty of that. Seems like he also had plenty of that. I mean all of my unhealthy coping strategies with this btw.

I still think it's so damn funny that I decided to take a course from someone that talked about reestablishing “the connection to my lost self and its innocence”. In No Sense?! The German word for it is much better for this. It is “Unschuld”. It means that you are not guilty. This course has been intense btw. But also helpful. We're all guilty of something....is what Vessel said.

Euclid

“if your wings won't find you heaven”

I'm currently working on activating my wings again. I think that's enough for right okay. Okay?!

“in turning divine”

We are divine. We just don't remember that, or many don't see that.

“We tangle endlessly”

Okay, Vessel. Let's come and hang and tangle...where can I find you?! Just making some fun.

[fallencelsetial]

:D

Karu! 🐺

Karu specifically!!!

You....You know me on a spiritual level....

First Impression-

I was very confused. Because the very first event I played, while I was just meeting Yakumo in story, was ArmyxBloodxOath. So i had no clue who Blade or Garu were, and Then suddenly Meeting Karu I was like "WAIT WHEN DID THIS GUY GET HERE? GARU HAS A TWIN??"

Impression Now-

Karu is MY BOY. My baby. My darling. My love. My sweetie. MY SCHMOOPIE!!!!!!

Favorite Moment-

WHEN HE WAS SOFT WITH EDMOND. OF ALL PEOPLE. LIKE IT FEELS SO RANDOM. BUT HIM ADMIRING EDMOND, AND WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM. LIKE. SOFT. OMG. HES SO SWEET.

Idea for a story-

I need a story where he gets spoiled. He deserves the world too. He can have all the meat he wants. He can have his little fantasies indulged. I'm sure by the end of getting spoiled he will allow affection. maybe even DEMAND IT! GIVE HIM HEAD PATS SLAVE!!!! HE DESERVES IT!!!

Unpopular Opinion-

LISTEN. HE CAN DO ANYTHING. HE'S VERY CLEVER. HE CAN TOP IF HE WANTS. BUT THERES A CATCH. Listen he can top, but hes gonna get dommed while doing it. there's a difference between topping and Domming. Karu can top.

and I know this one is DEFINITELY UNPOPULAR. I'm so sorry, but out of Garu and Karu....Karu is my favorite.

Favorite Relationship-

I've NEVER EXPERIENCED IT. But Kuya and Karu. I've only ever heard of it, and it tickles something in my brain. I can assume it's similar to how he was with Edmond, but like...More prideful. He WANTS people to know he admires Kuya.

Favorite Headcanon-

I like to think that He and Garu have their own mindscape. Like, IDK how to describe it. Like, If the body is asleep, they have this space where they can see each other. Almost as if they were in two seperate bodies. A much clearer representation of them being two different people, that no one else gets to see.

[atmymercy]

Feedback (some of 24’):

Hello! I just want to give my experience with some of the readings from last year that I forgot to give feedback on.

I got 3 minis that really helped me a lot! It’s crazy cuz they’re minis, but their impact is huge, ya know? And it really made me think, look back at previous events, and go “ohhhh that makes so much sense!” Lightbulb moment! I’m really glad I got them because I was really confused beforehand, and they helped me gain clarity, trust my intuition and with healing. Especially the imagination vs dread thing!!! What’s more, I got like a synchronicity-confirmation immediately after getting them, it was so cool! Like wow!!

I also got 3 readings about a person linked to my shadow work and spiritual growth. Since it’s about shadow work, I won’t go into much details, but I used those readings a lot when I was doing a lot of it during November (around scorpio season). They were really crucial and were like—Idk how to word it but—a guidebook? What I mean is that, I would repeatedly go back to them, and then get something new, and learn, etc. It was such a unique and amazing experience, that I’m grateful for. 💗

The readings from free giveaways have all been so amazing as well! The one I got about balancing my heart vs mind and being honest, is proving to be VERY important, and is still relevant to this day!! And I can’t stress enough how much me and Tea are like at the same vibration almost. Like “country roads”?? Omg!! And when I ask a question, or mention a synch, and she’s been getting that too, I know I’m in the right direction. It’s so… idk how to describe it. Profound? Magical? Spirit is so amazing and I’m so glad I have this. It helps a lot with reassurance and it’s like… Okay, kinda like a tree, and every time I get synchs, and these “omg that’s been happening to me too!” moments with Tea, the roots go deeper. And my trust in spirit, intuition, my heart,,,it deepens. ❤️

hello golden!

girl! i swear you spoil me with feedback! i would say something about it but i'm adoring it too much! lolol it's like valentine's day came early and i have all these beautiful, heartfelt valentine's day cards to read though! eee!

i'm so glad you like my minis, honey! they're are so fun to do because they're so short, fun and precise! omg! i'm always surprised about how spirit is able to give such a concise yet helpful answer each time! i have some people who only book minis because i think they like getting straight to the point! lol who needs the fluff or details? and i don't blame them! sometimes you just want the answer and done! lol i'm so glad that your minis also brought you to clarity and even hit off your intuition to figure out more! woot! my dream pupil! (omg double meaning with you, right? lolol)

knowing that your shadow work reading were so helpful is such a breath of fresh air for me, honey! i'm very serious about shadow work and how important it is so i would honestly be a bit devasted in your shadow work readings weren't useful! whoosh! fresh air to me that you loved and even cherish those readings to look back to makes me so thankful, honey! i'm so touched that i get to help you through this crucial moment and even the darkest of nights "because i hope you're okay" is what i just heard and spirit guides took the words right from my mouth! i want you to be always okay even if the darkness can feel endless, okay? because there is always light too! and i just heard a twinkle or bell? interesting! lol thank you, spirit guides! mahsi cho! and thank you, honey! i'm so grateful i could be of help when your shadow time came!

aww! as you were saying all those amazing and such profound words to me, honey! i couldn't help but think of trees too and how trees will share nutrients and benefits with each other through their root system! it's so beautiful and shows how interconnected and rooted we all are and i'm so grateful to get to sit in the hundred acre woods with you, honey, okay? because you're right! i'm always so amazed at the sync ups we have and how magical and spiritual it all feels! i don't know how many times you have double confirmed aspects in my life when i wasn't even waiting for more signs half the time but there you are not only confirming but being that double confirmation that i love so much! lol it's funny how you can know when things are meant to be? so thank you, honey for proving how much magic, kindness and destiny exist too! somehow we are always vibing! lol

love & light!

-tea

♡ message me for details/questions & to book a reading! ♡

[bloodbxrn]

DEEP DIVE

NAME: Kalpas

BODY

height: 190cm / just shy of 6'3

strength ★★★★★ [ how funny would it be if I docked him a star because he can't beat Kevin hahaha no jkjk sorry buddy of course he gets five stars could you imagine ]

dexterity ★★☆☆☆ [ his fighting style is described as splattering chunks on those nearby ]

health ★★★★★ [ see Kevin re: genetically modified supersoldier ]

energy ★★★★☆ [ has wild swings, he is only ever hyper-manic or super sedate. there are a lot of implications for both that I could pick at, but I think that's a meta for another time ]

beauty ★★★☆☆ [ well I think he's handsome ]

style ★★★☆☆

hygiene ★★☆☆☆ [ likely not a slob, but I don't think it's a priority ]

SKILLS

perception ★★★★☆ [ a huge part of chapter 30 is how much sharper he is than everyone gave him credit for  ]

communication ★★☆☆☆ [ most of his flavor text opines how he can't communicate properly, and during Elysium Everlasting his whole deal is basically laid out for us ]

persuasion ★★☆☆☆  [ less persuasion and more intimidation, although there are moments when he does try (and fails) to use his words ]

mediation ☆☆☆☆☆ [ cussed out su once. su. ]

literacy ★★☆☆☆ [ no evidence suggests that he can't read ]

creativity ★★★★☆ [ dawg he outwitted su and fu hua. ]

cooking ★★★★★ [ Golden Courtyard indicates that he's the best cook of the Flamechasers. I know that Golden Courtyard is kind of its own can of beans wrt bias and self-perception and wish-fulfillmet, but I'm willing to take it at face value bc I think this one's cute ]  

tech savvy ★★☆☆☆

combat ★★★★★ [ yes the ripping yes the tearing. his signet is Decimation and a literal computer virus learned to feel fear at coming face to face with him so like. ]

survival ★★★★☆ [ docking a point for being dead ]

stealth ☆☆☆☆☆ [ Kalpas is not who you call for a stealth mission. on top of being Like That, I think similar to Kevin his presence is just absolutely suffocating. ]

street smarts ★★★☆☆

seduction ☆☆☆☆☆ [ I think we should put Kalpas on a dating show I think it would be enriching. for me, not for him ]

luck ☆☆☆☆☆ [ listen if I'm so fr I think all of the flamechasers deserve this obviously I can't speak for the others but like just look at their lives oh my god ]

handling animals ★★☆☆☆

pacifying children ★★☆☆☆

MIND

intelligence ★★★☆☆ [ see perception above ]

happiness ★★★☆☆ [ all things considered, and if the scene where his sim is deleted is any indication, i think the direction his life took after being taken in by MOTH and the way that he went out was what would have made him the most happy ]

spirituality ☆☆☆☆☆

confidence ★★★★★ [ bro thinks he can beat kevin idk what to tell you ]

humor ★★☆☆☆ [ "nothing flies over my head, my reflexes are too good, I would simply catch it" type mf. Elysia does mention that he tells jokes, however ]

anxiety ★★★☆☆ [ interestingly, we see Kalpas be the most actively skittish in the Elysian Realm of all the sims. although this is also due to a number of factors going on in the plot, it's still an interesting trait he doesn't display when he is chained, but rather when he's allowed to roam and interact freely. ]

patience ★☆☆☆☆

passion ★★★★☆

nice         ☆☆★☆☆     mean [ he is rude and brusque and aggressive. the most polarizing of his teammates, outside of Mobius, but whereas hers is deliberate maliciousness, his is due to his inability to communicate his wants and needs and intentions properly ]

brave       ★☆☆☆☆     cowardly [ thinking about the Herrscher of Corruption situation makes me fucking ill ]

pacifist     ☆☆☆☆★     violent

thoughtful ☆☆☆☆★    impulsive

agreeable ☆☆☆★☆     contrary [ he isn't entirely intransigent just mostly ]

idealistic   ★☆☆☆☆     pragmatic

frugal        ★☆☆☆☆     big spender

extrovert   ☆☆☆☆★     introvert [ shockingly shy ]

collected   ☆☆☆☆★     wild [ glances at his Trial Transcript recollection. shrekmmh ]

ambitious / possessive / stubborn / jealous / decisive / perfectionist

SOCIAL

charisma ★★☆☆☆

empathy ★★★☆☆

generosity ★★★★★ [ spoilers for his backstory but he let himself be tied to a pillar by strangers and have his blood ritualistically siphoned to attempt to cure honkai sickness for an indeterminate amount of time. he just let them do it ]

wealth ★★☆☆☆

honest   ★☆☆☆☆ deceptive

leader   ☆☆☆★☆   follower

polite     ☆☆☆★☆  rude [ aggressive and to the point, but can be smacked with a newspaper to say yes maam sorry maam ]

political ☆☆☆☆★  indifferent

BELIEFS

higher power ★★★☆☆ [ seems the type to be superstitious. was worshiped as a god for a period but it's implied he has more complicated feelings on it which is a meta for another time ]

fate/destiny ★★☆☆☆

magic ★★★☆☆

soulmates ★★☆☆☆ [ complicated. not in a romantic sense, but I do think he thinks that his rivalry with kevin is preordained in some manner of fashion, and the situation with emile  ]

good and evil ★☆☆☆☆ [ I think he acknowledges them as concepts but insofar as believing that they have a tangible effect on the way people behave? he's willing to compare himself to aponia in saying that he thinks they both belong in hell, but that it would disgust him to go there at her side ] 

luck ★★★☆☆

PRIORITIES

family ★☆☆☆☆ [ don't ask him if he considers the flamechasers family. he does, but I don't think he's willing to come to terms with what that means just yet ]

friends ★★★★★ [ he will turn up for his friends ]

love ★★☆☆☆ [ complicated. for the purposes of this I will refer to only romantic love here, otherwise this would get long. we get implications that Kalpas would like to see what a future with a romantic partner is like, but acknowledges that it isn't an option ]

home ☆☆☆☆☆ [ he. well. he isn't from here. I think the concept of home is complicated for Kalpas, outside of him literally being an alien - between sunrise alley and fire moth and the flamechasers, I think he's searching for home and coming up short, which leads to a bit of a cyclical devaluing of it ]

health ★★★☆☆

praise ★★★★★ [ one thing that I've noticed in a not-insignificant amount of his interactions is that the people that Kalpas is kindest towards, or those in whom he holds the highest esteem (see: Kevin, Elysia) talk to him like he's a dog. please tell him he's a good boy he needs to hear it so bad ]

justice ★☆☆☆☆  [ not in an unbiased sense, mind you ]

truth ★☆☆☆☆ [ the truth is what you make of it, and if it isn't true yet, then you haven't made it yet ]

power ★★★★★

fame ★★★★★

wealth ☆☆☆☆☆

others' opinions ★★★☆☆ [ one might think that this is in a similar vein as praise, and while that's not entirely inaccurate, I think he's accepted that he'll never fully have another's good opinion. is often made a joke of, and knows about it. at the point, unfortunately, where I think he thinks fear is just as good as respect ]

[theoreticallysensible]

Okay so my first post is going to be about the link between capitalism and existential angst, which is the most on brand thing possible for me, so if you like this there’ll be much more of it and if not… sorry. 😅

I’ve always had a proclivity for angsty existentialism. Multiple times a housemate has found me sprawled on a sofa moping about the meaning of life which sounds really pretentious but idk I feel like on some level that’s just being a student. And it’s that material side of it that’s got me curious recently like - were these anxieties just a result of the kind of individualistic, listless existence a student inhabits? There’s probably a reason the stereotypes of angst are people with enough wealth to avoid work but not enough respect or expectations to have a solid idea about what they should be doing: Percy Shelley, Lord Byron, Søren Kierkegaard, etc.

In the first volume of his Critique of Everyday Life, Henri Lefebvre calls out Kierkegaard specifically as a prime example of bourgeoise alienation, the result of which was literally creating existentialist philosophy - the idea that we have to create meaning for ourselves by force of will and taking a leap of faith. Lefebvre claims that existential angst is always a result of some sort of alienation. When Marx formulated alienation as the psychological suffering we experience when we are separation from ourselves, each other, the products of our labour, and nature, he was thinking about the way the working class are made to suffer under capitalism, but Lefebvre expands the theory beyond this. He describes how alienation is always relative and present in all types of society for all people within it. Alienation is not just a result of individualism and exploitation - it also presents itself when we feel too far from someone we love, and when we are mystified by the natural world. Crucially, we are alienated when we become detached from the fact that we are dependent on others for our survival, something common to all the bourgeoisie.

Acknowledging this dependency would make us aware of the injustice of how these responsibilities are distributed (according to class, gender, race, etc.), and getting past the separation would require a radical change in lifestyle involving the rejection of the serving of the individual self so integral to bourgeoise morality. It’s hard! But with the lines between proletariat and bourgeoisie becoming more and more blurred with the expansion of the middle class, recognising this particularly bourgeoise suffering is important, I think, if we want to articulate a reason more people can get behind to resist capitalism.

People suffer when they’re separated from people, when their material existence feels so isolated and insignificant that they have to rely on spirituality to give them any sense of grounding, but are unable to be confident in their beliefs so can only ever relate to religion through anxiety (both my best friends speak of religion in this way, and before I read Lefebvre I was tempted to join them because it sounded better than the nihilism I was struggling with). Seriously, read any Kierkegaard and you will know he was not a happy guy. He wrote book called The Concept of Anxiety, and Fear and Trembling for God’s sake. He’s not okay! 🥺 But poor Søren might have been okay if he’d been a bit less self obsessed, acknowledged the value of *inter*subjectivity rather than pure responsibility, and actually married his fianceé rather than worrying about his independent morality, which was really just arrogance. I sound mean but I love him really. He’s very entertaining and *painfully* relatable.

But this is why I find Simone de Beauvoir to be the absolute best of the existentialist canon, because she recognises the need for recognition and connection, even for the powerful. In The Ethics of Ambiguity, she writes about how even tyrants suffer in hierarchical societies because they can never know authentic respect, since people always see their power and the threat implicit in it rather than their whole humanity. This doesn’t mean that we should never violently resist tyranny, because individualism is hard to overcome, even when it’s self-sabotaging, but awareness of this could get more people on the side of equality. This idea is apparently supported empirically in The Spirit Level, by Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, but I haven’t read that one yet. I like to put it in Spinozist terms: the satisfaction of one desire can be excessive when it blinds us to our other needs and presents us from feeling other forms of joy.

On how it can be overcome though, I think Judith Butler offers an interesting frame for thinking about it. Though they’re best known for their work on the social construction of gender, my favourite book of theirs is Giving An Account of Oneself, where they write about how our mental life is a product of all our previous experiences, especially with other people. This seems obvious on some level, but it really undermines individualism. In particular, it deconstructs the distinction between attacking parts of yourself and attacking other people. If our internal and external lives are so interlinked, is it really surprising if attacking ourselves isolates us? Recognising that other people are in some sense present within us is conducive to greater intimacy, and though this can be uncomfortable if we dislike part of them, that doesn’t make it less true, and recognising this can make us more compassionate with everything within us. Self-hatred and hatred of others are intimately connected, and they reinforce each other.

I like to think of the relationship between different parts of myself in terms of Deleuze and Guattari’s machinic unconscious, where our minds are made up of interlocking parts from the larger social context. I think differ though in wanting to negotiate and find equilibrium between them rather than experimenting by letting certain parts go to extremes to make change though. I like the way Jacques Derrida writes about it in The Politics of Friendship, where to recognise the other in oneself, and so recognise the misalignment within ourselves, requires us to be a friend to oneself, which makes friendship so central that it undercuts any potential narcissism because by loving oneself as an other we learn to love others better (as well ourselves).

This doesn’t address the concrete politics of the situation though. The aspect missing is that we have to think of ourselves as inextricably linked to our social and political systems, part of a historical process, and our feelings about those systems are a very real part of that process, and if we want to be true to ourselves we have to act on those feelings rather than repress them. I’m still working out what that means for myself, and as Lefebvre notes it’s this final hurdle that most people fail at, but we can all try.

That kind of went all over the place, but hopefully it’s understandable and valuable, and if not it was helpful for me to articulate all these ideas that have been swirling around in my head for the past year or so. 😅

[tanadrin]

Does Dan McClellan ever explain how he's a Mormon? I started listening to Data Over Dogma the other day, thanks your regular comments about it, and I'm absolutely boggled that this dude can say this shit and then go to church on Sunday.

he talked about his biography in his Mormon Stories appearance. he converted as an adult, around 19 or 20--he describes himself as feeling kind of aimless in life, having social connections through friends and family members to the mormon church, and being drawn to it that way. inferring a little bit from the context, he seems to have landed within a pocket of mormons that were either pretty pro-lgbt or not strenuously anti-lgbt--enough that that didn't put him off, given his agnostic and not particularly conservative background.

he's an interesting case, for sure! he explicitly avoids talking about his personal beliefs, so i can only guess what his exact though process was. but the impression i get is someone who 1) was strongly drawn to the social aspects of organized religion (and mormonism is very tight-knit socially), 2) was willing to suspend judgement on the more out-there elements of doctrine (the really off-the-wall historical stuff), and 3) isn't too pressed about the truth claims element of religion, or doesn't personally find that the most important part of religious experience and feeling.

and yet it is still kind of strange to me to listen to someone who is very thoughtful about the cognitive science of religion, who deeply understands the textual history of religious scripture, and who understands why you can't use faith-based arguments as part of any coherent methodology in the analysis of that scripture, to try to mount a defense of religiosity in general. i mean plainly people can do it. but i can't imagine how, unless there is some deep cognitive dissonance at work. i think that even if the truth claims of religion aren't the most important part of religion to you, they're plainly incredibly important when it comes to, like, how religious traditions are differentiated--if the truth claims don't matter, there's much less reason to be mormon vs episcopalian vs baptist.

i could see salvaging out of all that some kind of general moral therapeutic deism, or ultra-reformed judaism, or other spiritual-but-not-dogmatically-religious worldview--but belonging to an avowedly dogmatic, hierarchically organized religious institution, with the kind of internal discipline that means members like dan are (let us be charitable) less than entirely open with their criticisms less they face larger-scale social consequences--a problem not even modern Catholics face--and one which is nonetheless built on an unusually recent, and unusually disprovable set of truth claims like mormonism is--like, idk. it's really hard to imagine someone who knew all the stuff he knows about biblical history being drawn to mormonism if he had learned that stuff first. and if that's true that feels kind of like an indictment of the religion? like it really is mostly contingent features we don't care about in any deep way.

that makes more sense for ethnoreligions like judaism, and out of all american religions, mormonism is probably closest to being an ethnoreligion itself. it's pretty culturally insular compared to mainline protestantism. even most flavors of fundamentalist evangelicalism. the closest analogue is maybe the primitive baptists? and they're a tiny denomination. but if it was really a self-sustaining culture it probably wouldn't need a centralized hierarchy that excommunicated dissenters who got too big a public profile for criticizing the church.

[trolagygirl2022]

Hello! i am here to participate in your tarot game, I will do tarot reading for you. I will also attach groom persona chart or you can do tarot if you feel like it~

Hope i get selected :>

SO, let's start! I will give every information i will be getting~

Here's your exchange-

Physical description - Temperance, The sun, 7 of pentacles, The Lovers

He has a very balanced appearance like symmetrical face, His nose might be prominent like a little bumpy, but not that bumpy. He is very well dressed, and has that childlike innocence might look younger than he is, He is handsome, he can have blue/brown or hazel eyes, do you know how a archangel looks, that kind of beauty, hair might be long or mid, curly or wavy, something about his hairs maybe he likes to dye diff colors or maybe its you. He can be blonde or have brown hairs, Light skinned, a bit pale or maybe tanned. But he will look beautiful. He might wear casual clothes. He has a good dressing style. Might be tall or average height.

Their aura/vibe - Knight of pentacles, 4 of wands, 6 of pentacles He will have that confidence aura, He will radiate positive energy, he will be very generous or just like to help people in need, He is very positive, like a problem solver, He will be quite protective, might radiate that rich energy, when someone is around him they will feel at ease, very comforting, a logical person, he might like to give gifts. If in a fight he will calmly think of way out. A safe person, can be quite private about his life. He might have gone through some tough life, or just understands the world better. Overall very nice aura, A very supporting person. A healing person. he can be independent.

How others describe them - 7 of cups, page of pentacles, knight of wands, judgement, wheel of fortune.

He will def exclude that rich aura lol, idk how to explain it, Others will describe him as quite charming, who has new ideas and know how to solve any problems, he will be a very balanced individual, they might think of him as someone who is spiritual or maybe you are, a very confident individual, knight in shining armour lol love to protect his loved ones, can be impulsive at times, he can talk a lot, as I said he might be private and his and yours news might be a bit shocking to others.

A random fact - quite a fated encounter

This is how i will describe your connection, quite free and loving,

Thank you~

Whoa thank you so much for this detailed reading! This really matches with different readings I've gotten.

Your exchange!!

Physical Description:

Your future spouse has some type of unique appearance, but he's still attractive. Like he doesn't fit the conventional standard of "beauty" but he shines in his own light. "If I don't fit the standards, I'll make my own" is what came to mind. I'm really seeing a lean figure, sort of a boyish figure. He have a charming appearance, probably has people saying "I don't know what is in them but he's so fine". He has some feminine traits. I'm seeing a sharp yet feminine face. He also has prominent bone structure and are probably on the taller side. Also thinking of an otherworldly appearance too. I'm picturing a merman here. I was thinking a lot about water so he probably have soft skin? It's strange to explain but your future husband looks a merman LOL. Also something flowy, perhaps their hair? His hair is very nice and soft. It flows like water. Picking up on some blue so he can possibly blue eyes (not very light, a more darker blue).

Their aura:

There's something about him that differentiates them from others. This is probably in how he express himself. His aura can be put into one word. "Unique". He's someone that values his self expression and doesn't like to be put in a box. This can also go with his adventurous nature. He's friendly and can easily connect with people, a pretty social guy. He has a sharp eye for things and could be interested in things that have to do with music, arts, design, etc. He has a nice style. He's pretty fast paced and enjoys learning new things. I see him being very caring, kind and gentle. He has a soft spot for people close to him. I also see him being a pretty fun guy to be with and has a lot of charisma.

How others describe him:

People can have a bit of a bias towards them. I see him being judged by people, they can think he's a bit "weird". However, the other side of people really like him and his company. He's a friendly guy but it seems that other people don't appreciate that. People would also talk about how nice and empathetic is. He does have a sensitive side but can be a great comforter. He's someone that doesn't like conflict and tries to resolve them. He's protective over people he cares about so that's another thing!

Random fact: I see you guys meeting in some sort of group, like you'll be connected to him by someone. This could be in a Virgo like setting (in your day to day life, hospital, etc).

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hi 😅 I hope this is okay to ask, I’ll try to be brief but will probably fail at that. Basically I’ve been raised in a Christian household, very conservative too. But I met a far more liberal Christian friend and over time .. sort of am to the point I think I might be left-leaning too (definitely more than my family). This scares me. I don’t want to disappoint my family by being liberal …

She also recently talked to me about evolution which I was never taught about, the most I learned was reading a single textbook that talked about it around college. And … it all makes sense. I even went to the religious science site my dad says proves evolution is false and I can’t find any actual proof evolution is false. Everything is evidence to the contrary and .. I’ve listened to videos about experiments where cells clump together and start getting more complex and it’s honestly so exciting? That’s so cool? But … I can’t help but think of how disappointed my family will be about this, too …

But the worst part .. I’ve been holding off on looking into LGBT stuff because I don’t know what I’ll find. I’ve never had a crush on an actual guy (I’m a girl), even though easily over 20 guys have expressed interest in the past, some just said I was hot and kind of asked me out, others expressed wanting to marry me. I’ve never dated, ever. I only like fictional characters really, and the only strong connection has been literally 12 years of loving a character. My affection for him went into full force when I empathized with him, but I’m also autistic and he’s my special interest, so idk how that factors into it. Some of my friends say I’m demi, but I’ve insisted I’m straight and I’m just picky. I don’t know if I am. I also … have met or been friends with three girls over the years, or presumably girls, that I know I wanted to spend time with or get to know, I’d be nervous around (but I also have anxiety ..) or still think about sometimes. But I don’t think I’d want to have sex with a girl … idk, it’s really confusing because my mom always told me people think they’re LGBT because of wounds, and I definitely have been wounded in the past. But I also … I just don’t feel attracted to most people … but I also can find any person attractive or pretty? I just don’t necessarily want to do anything with them? Like recently I saw a video game character who I felt very Eh about, like he’s pretty I guess, until I learned he has trauma and now he seems more appealing because I empathize with him.

But … I don’t know what to do. My faith is extremely important to me and I know I have to have some sort of spirituality no matter what. But I just … I just can’t be LGBT. It’ll destroy my family and I might not have a place to live if I decide I am. Especially if I got a partner like that. I don’t know … I know I’m already such a disappointment for disagreeing politically and .. probably believing in evolution, and now I need to look into LGBT stuff because I need to know if what I’ve been taught is wrong, but I’m so, so, so scared. I can’t … be this. I just can’t. I don’t know if I am.

I’m sorry, this was kind of a vent and I’m sorry if any language is poorly-worded. I’m living in a constant state of anxiety right now so I am probably saying things wrong and I apologize. I just don’t know what to do. If you read this, thank you - and I hope you have a good day.

I think coming to terms with your identity may help you, even if you don't tell anyone. Your family doesn't have to know until you're ready to tell them, or they never even have to know at all.

It's important to remember that you don't need to rush into anything either. This is a pretty big change from what you described as your lifestyle, so it makes sense that you are having a lot of feelings of anxiety over this. Rushing into a new identity won't help you, especially if you aren't ready for it.

As for you religion, you can be religious and lgbtq, there are plenty of quuer people who are religious, and talking with some of hem might help you. They could give you advice on your family and you identity. Any religious quuer people feel free to reply to this with advice.

[rins-batcave]

doing all of these:

identity ask.........oh shit

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? idk

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? idk

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. too lazy :)

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better? i like both my names

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? idk

are you religious/spiritual? not really

do you care about your ethnicity? somewhat? i want to connect more with my cultures i guess.

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? dayglow, wallows, the rare occassions.

are you an artist? no

do you have a creed? no?

describe your ideal day. idk

dog person or cat person? both???

inside or outdoors? inside

are you a musician? flute?

five most influential books over your lifetime. not sure?

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? no

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? yes.

what’s your patronus? idk

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? im ravenclaw :)

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else? not sure.

do you love easily? idk.

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order. school, writing (like 3-6 hours a day depending), rock climbing (at least two hours a week), archery (2 hours a week), tumblr.

how often would you want to see your family every year? once a week maybe?

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? no

could you live as a hermit? maybe??

how would you describe your gender/sexuality? genderfluid, aro ace (aroflux, aegosexual)

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? nope.

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin? like 6? maybe 5?

three songs that you connect with right now. Juliet - cavetown, mindless creatures - dayglow, scrawny - wallows.

pick one of your favorite quotes. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. The world is missing a lot of good things.”