#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually

[girlcockholmes]

now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off

[trueduelist]

Holy fuuuuuuuuck i felt like a hostage tonight. Started my day 15 unpaid minutes early to ensure i will have enough time to enter the food order even if 10 things go wrong. Finished that, begin setting up my station but we get busy right away so i have to wait, get a tiny bit of prep done, busy again, repeat for four hours.

Ok everything done and im off now.

Hmm but of course the AM fry cook didnt run the filter cycle and i need that oil to last one more day. Guess ill hang around 10 minutes to get that done. Oh shit i just remembered i didnt put the last shipment of buns away and im expected to that so gonna get that done quickly. I break down the cardboard and remember there's empty boxes in the walk in still. Gotta deal with those. Suddenly 30 minutes have passed. Oops.

OKAY NOW IM DONE. Got my street clothes on, just gonna pop back on the line and grab some food. Oh shit its busy. Like REALLY busy. It's shift change so there's only two cooks working right now and our bill times are gonna be ridiculous. Can't leave it like this so i guess i'll help out.

20 minutes later and done. Got my food. Got my coat on. Lets get outta here. Say bye to GM and im about to reach for the door when he says "hey actually do you think you can stay 3 hours just to make sure theyre ok?"

FUCK

"no problem im on it! 😃" Is my immediate reply however

Back in my clogs and whites and im thinking ok this is fine im just here for the dinner rush and then i go home. My hours were cut this week so at least i can get a few back.

HOLY. SHIT. We got destroyed, annihilated, pulverised, whatever. I got put on expo and i have never seen such madness. It was somehow worse than a friday night. We only had about half the covers we do on friday but they were concentrated into one single hour of pure hell.

My PM fry cook didnt want to be there and refused to do half her job (make fries). She tried to pawn her shift to me immediately and got upset when i said hell no. She also snapped "dont tell me what to do when you havent helped me at all!" when i said to her "please you need to help me blanch (your) fries because we (you) are gonna run out in about 10 minutes!!" meanwhile i have 12 entrées that are piling up at my station and im communicating with FOH to make sure things dont get run to the wrong table which prevents me from walking away and oh yeah cooking fries is YOUR job. One of the takeout servers heard us and actually ran into the kitchen with a box of fries 😭😭😭😭 new favourite server

Anyways then while shit is still fucked she walks out of the kitchen to talk to the MOD and i see them talking and tbh i think oh fuck shes telling her she cant work with me. Then the guy on desserts walks over and starts dropping baskets so im like oh okay they wanted to swap. But THEN he says to me ok im going back to desserts now btw and im like !?

So now im watching fryers as well and im wondering where the fry cook is. After a while i finally say WHERE IS SHE and one of cooks says oh... She went home sick. Forgot to tell you.

WTF

Okay actually im super tired n ow so im not even gonna finish my rant but the the main point is that i wanted to fucking go home after this shit and all those cunts inthe kitchen guilted me and bullied me into staying. They all claimed they didnt know how to clean the fryers which i find hard to believe. I got upset and then they were like ohh no.... You can go home. Totally. We wont hold this against you and make your life worse or anything. Like WOW awesome.

So thats how i worked 12 hours today on 0 food and a single can of monster because i didnt even have time to get water.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Billy has to stick up for max a lot because of her autism, at school he walks to her class and their afraid of him because just,,, look at him

warnings for mentions of bullying and ableism.

It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry.

At least, Billy had almost never seen her shed a tear in the six years he’d known her but maybe two times: once when she was still little, and just learned her step-family was going to move into her house and replace her real dad forever, and once when she was told they would be leaving California. Both times she’d run off to her room and slammed the door before anyone could see, but Billy had noticed. He always did when it came to Max. Had to when he knew damn well how much trouble he’d be in if things went wrong while he was watching her.

Beyond that there were a few teary eyed looks that got wiped away, maybe a sniffle she’d try to cover up by complaining about her allergies, but it was very rare, even during meltdowns, that she’d be full on crying, tears streaming down her face so quickly she couldn’t wipe them away while sobs wrack through her and make her shake.

So Billy knows first thing that something is very, very wrong when she’s already at his car after school, her face buried in her balled up jacket and doing exactly that. He can hear her from outside the car, so he sighs and knocks on the window before he yanks the door open, but Max doesn’t even flinch, just curls up tighter in the passenger seat and ignores him.

That’s a bad sign too, the fact she isn’t even trying to hide it from him, “What’s a’matter Maxi?”

“None of your business.” She snaps at him, voice thick and wet with tears. It’s unfamiliar seeing her like that and it makes Billy feel tense ang guilt even though he didn’t do it this time, so he tries, “Come on. It totally is my business. You get tears on my leather seats n’the salt’ll stain ‘em up, and you’ll be the one to clean it up.”

All it gets from Max is another heavy sob, instantly hitting him with a pang of regret for trying to be light about this, “Shit. M’sorry, Maxi. Didn’t mean it like that. Just tryin’ ta make you smile.”

“Well it didn’t work!” Max sniffles, throwing her jacket on the dash and finally turning to look at Billy, face flushed red and tracked with tears, her bottom lip still wobbling, “I’ll never ever smile again..”

“Why not? I know it’s not just because of your dumbass brother.” Billy sees a twitch at the corner of her lip, the slightest hint of a smile at him insulting himself, and he counts that as a small win, a sign he’s getting at least a little bit through to Max, so he prompts her again, “What happened at school today, Max?”

Her gaze drops to her lap, and she shrugs her shoulders slightly, stiffly, as she mumbles an explanation, “Remember how I told you about that boy, who's mean to me and my friends?”

“‘Course I do. I never forget anythin’ you tell me.”

Max wipes her nose on her sleeve, and corrects him, “Except for when you forgot I told you I had AV club and you came in the school looking for me and then you got stuck talking to a teacher for like, three hours after I was done.”

“Yeah, well that was one time. N’I was already havin’ a bad day when you told me, thank you very much.” He encourages her, his face serious though their tone is light-hearted, “Keep goin’, what’d this kid do now?”

Again Max’s features close off, and she tries to lie, “He was just.. Well it was my fault.. I-I don’t know.”

“Max. I need the truth.”

Talking fast, like she’s fighting against her thoughts, she makes him promise, “Promise me you won’t do anything dumb, first.”

Billy lifts a hand from the steering wheel, “I won’t. Cross my heart, Maxi.”

At this point, in the silence that builds while Max wills herself to speak, Billy starts to drive, since it’s clear he won’t be going back into that school. It isn’t lost on him the way Max takes a deep breath, out of relief that he meant it when he said he wasn’t going to be dumb and march back in there.

Quickly, once she’s ready, she explains, “Okay. Well he kinda sort of told me that I was annoying ‘cause I laugh too much, and I told him it was just a stim n’that I couldn’t help it but he said that made me a baby and I told him I wasn’t and he called me a retard instead and I was already stressed so I started crying like a dumb baby and he laughed at me and none of my friends said anything or helped me and I just.. yeah.”

All Billy can do is raise his eyebrows, has about a hundred and one pissy and angry things he could say, but he doesn’t utter a word, because he doesn’t want to make Max more upset than she already is.

Clearly just the change in his expression spooks her though, because she insists, sounding like she could cry again at any second, “You promised me!”

He puts his hands up sort of defensively, though he has to grab the wheel again when the car veers, swallowing his anger to tell her calmly, “I didn’t even say anything. I promised I’d be nice and I’m gonna keep that promise.”

She nods hesitantly, more to show trust than agreement, so Billy continues, “But Maxi that’s.. bad. Why don’t you tell a teacher or some shit?”

“Yeah, like they would even do anything. They already hate me for being in their coed classes.” Max mumbles the last part, looking away, “They’d probably rather Troy beat me up so I wouldn’t be bothering them anymore.”

“Tell me you’re being dramatic.”

But Max just shrugs again.

“Fuck, I hate this fucking place.” Billy tears his eyes from the road to look Max in the eyes as she says it, even knowing she can’t return the gesture, “You know you don’t deserve to go through this shit, Maxi?”

“It.. is kinda my fault though.”

He lashes out, just a little, hearing her talk like that about herself. Because it’s not fair that a thirteen year old girl looks at herself that way, yeah, but also because he knows it’s in some ways his fault too, and their parents for the way she’d been brought up, and the shit she'd been around that she even thinks to say shit like that.

He hits the palm of his hand against the rim of his steering wheel, rather he goes to before he catches himself, slowing it before it really hits, tapping it more than anything, “No the fuck it isn’t. It’s nobody’s fault but the assholes that make it into a problem. And fucking Neil’s for dragging us to this close-minded little spot on the map. I hate this fucking town”

“Oh.” Is all Max says.

Billy waits, but he can see she doesn’t know what else to say, so he sighs, “Look, I made my promise to you. Can you make one for me now?”

Max looks confused, “Okay?”

“Promise me that the next time somebody says some shit to you, you stand up for yourself.” Max scrunches up her face, like she immediately disagrees with that, but Billy insists, “Look, I don’t care if you’re crying like a damn baby or you can’t even talk while you do it, just don’t let ‘em walk all over you like that again.”

“I’m not fighting anyone, Billy. I’m not.. like you.”

“That’s not what I said. I said to stand up for yourself. It’s different.”

“Yeah right. How am I supposed to do that?” Billy knows that some asshole had to have said that to Max, that for whatever bullshit reason she couldn’t stick up for herself. Damn kid can’t catch a break in life, so he tells her, at this point not sure if this is even advice or just him ranting at Max, “This kid calls you a slur again, tell ‘im at least you got the diagnosis. Make him feel like he’s the stupid one. And if a teacher ever pulls some shit about the way you learn, tell ‘em you’ll go to the board of education and personally get their asses fired. Your mom would fight for you.”

“No she wouldn’t.”

“Then dammit I would. Your friends would if they understood. I know Sinclair would kick ass for you.”

Max’s toughness finally cracks- she learned that from him, to put on that hard exterior and fake it- Billy's determination stronger than her stubbornness. She looks up at him with a look in her eye that says he’s said all the right things, “You really think so?”

“No shit. Big brothers know all about this kind of bull.”

“I guess.” Max smiles just a little, and tells him matter-of-factly, “But you’re not that kind of big brother. You’re too cool.”

“Hell yeah I am.” Billy hums proudly, adding with humor in his tone, “But it’s even more cool to be nice to your little sister than it is to be an asshole. Remember that one.”

Max nods, listing it off on her fingers, “Stand up for myself, but don’t be an asshole, and Billy's secretly a big softie. I think I got it.”

“Good. Now out of my car, shitbird.”

Giggling in that way that says she knows she got him, Max swings open her door and runs into the house, leaving Billy to watch after her. He turns off the car but doesn’t get out, trying to bury his worry for her under his expression, not because he didn’t care, or even because he didn’t want her to know, he was long past that, but because he was worried what would happen if Susan saw his concern.

She’d weasel the truth out of Max if she knew something was up, and somehow, despite her promises, Neil would find out once he dragged his ass back home from the bar later tonight, and then it would somehow be Billy’s fault. He just hopes, if Max lets slip about the bullying, she at least doesn’t get too mouthy and mention the part where she was crying.

That was a Friday when that all went down, so Billy has the weekend, which thankfully does not include any snitching, to decide what he’s going to do about it. It’s not like he was ever going to go beat up on any tweens anyways, but he promised Max he wouldn’t be dumb, and he knew that meant no passive aggressive bullshit either. At least not while she could see him.

Because that ruled out like, half of his options, he’s still kind of clueless on what he’s going to do that next Monday morning when schools back in. He’s sitting in the middle school parking lot, fingers twitching against the steering wheel without a cigarette to busy them with, waiting for 7:30 on the dot when Max always goes in.

At this point, he’s considering just ditching with her to go get ice cream or something so she doesn’t have to face any bullies today, but his epiphany comes in the form of watching Jonathan Byers walk the littler one all the way to the front doors, his hand protectively hooked through the handle on the kid’s backpack. When the clock ticks the right time and Max opens her door, he knows what he’s going to do, and he turns the car off.

She freezes, can tell he’s up to something. “What are you doing?”

“Nothin’. M’just walking you in.” She glares at him in response to the smug smile he wears, so he swears, “Honest. I got basketball today. No way I’m missing that shit ‘cause I fought some little kid.”

“You’re lying.”

“Can’t I just be nice to my little sister?”

From the look on her face, she’s still skeptical, but it's enough to get Max to agree to it, grabbing her bag from the backseat and mumbling, “Whatever. Just don’t embarrass me.”

Billy chuckles, giving Max a head start towards the building before he follows, “Hey now, I thought just yesterday I was your cool older brother.”

“Cool older brothers don’t walk their sisters to the door.” She calls it over her shoulder, and Billy can’t help but tease her more, correcting her in a sing-songy voice, “Who said I was stoppin’ at the door? I’m walking you all the way to your class.”

“Oh god.” Max stops walking, but Billy keeps up, this time pulling ahead enough to call back to her, “Come on shitbird. Don’t wanna be late.”

“I hate you so much.”

“Yeah, right. You love that I would take the time outta my morning to do this for you.” He props open the door for Max with his boot, pretending not to notice the way all the little middle school kids at their lockers turn to gawk at them, letting her shove past him with her face flushed deeper than the color of her hair in embarrassment.

Pulling on her backpack straps, like she’s trying to physically make herself smaller, she mumbles, “No, I actually hate you.”

He almost feels bad for embarrassing her, but that’s the other part of his job, and he reminds her of that, “Good. There’s some more advice for ya, little sisters should always hate their big brothers, or he’s doing something wrong.”

They get a little ways down the hall, Max’s confidence going up just some as the shock wears off and people start to turn away, but Billy hardly notices. He doesn’t even come close to being bothered by eighth grade politics anymore, and if he’s intimidating the poor kids, well that’s exactly what he’s there for.

When he’s met with a particularly harsh glare from some snob nosed brat, who happens to remind him a lot of one Tommy Hagan, he bumps into Max on purpose, and announces louder than he needs to in hopes the kid’ll know he was looking for him, “That the little asshole s’been givin’ you trouble?”

Glancing nervously between him and Billy, she nods, “Yeah..”

Billy just nods, a cross between acknowledgment and judgement, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You said-“ Again Max panics, but Billy cuts her off this time with a simple assurance of, “And I didn’t do anything.”

Her eyebrows knit together, realizing that that wasn’t a lie, “I.. guess you didn’t.”

“What’s your first class anyways?”

“We report to the cafeteria before first period.” She informs him, leading him that way, but he hooks two fingers through the strap on her bag to stop her, “Not gonna happen, Maxi. Being shoved in a tiny room with three hundred other kids makes you feel all ‘meltdowny’ I think was your exact word. So you’re not doin’ that anymore. I just decided.”

“But that’s against the rules.”

“Yeah, so’s me bein’ in this building during school hours, but nobody’s saying shit to me, are they?”

Max narrows her eyes at him then, and he knows he said too much, that he’s been found out, “That’s your plan isn’t it.”

There’s a crooked smile on his face he can’t hide as he plays innocent-like, “What is?”

Max pushes him a little and he pretends to misstep while she accuses him, “Coming into school and being all intimidating so nobody will bug me anymore.”

“Pfft, yeah right.” Billy denies again, getting nothing but an eye roll in response at first, but when it’s clear it’s he’s not going to give up and admit it, Max does, glancing shortly over at him, “Well thanks anyways, Billy.”

She adds, realizing he’s wandering with no idea where they’re going, having never been in the middle school himself, “My first class is in B-18.”

“Which one is’at?” He asks, just curious, but Max deflects the question, giving a short, “It’s taught by Mr. Clarke.”

Just from how quiet she is, Billy can tell that she's hiding something, “Max. You seriously don’t even know what class you’re in?”

“No I don’t, okay?” Max stops in the middle of the hallway, ranting at her brother, “It’s already not the same as my old school, and then they moved my schedule all around again after they decided I didn’t qualify for special ed, so now I just go where I’m s’posed to, and I know my teachers better than my classes.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“No. There’s nothing anyone can do so it doesn’t matter.” Her tone implies she thought a lot about it, maybe even wanted to, but decided not to.

Billy insists right back, these past two days feeling like he’s constantly petitioning for Max to trust and rely on him, “Oh I could do somethin’. You know I could.”

“I do. But I don’t want you to. Sticking up for me is enough.”

That’s what makes Billy understand. The firmness in her voice says everything she needs him to hear: Max doesn’t want Billy to do for her what she can handle. This is bigger than just being the older brother. This is her setting boundaries, asking for help without wanting to be controlled. That’s something he never really got how to do, being raised by a dictator and all, but it’s something she needs. Sometimes he forgets that.

He doesn’t say anything else, just lets it sit while Max takes him down some stairs to the right room. She stops outside, scuffing up the dusty marble floors with the toe of her Chuck Taylor’s, “Could you.. stick around for a little bit in case he says something?”

Billy clicks his tongue, remarking, “I dunno. I got a class in a few..”

But his sarcasm falls short with Max, which, that’s his bad for not realizing that it would, and her face falls, “Oh, well I guess I can just-”

“Was just funnin’ you shitbird. I don’t give a fuck about my classes.” Max grimaces in that all too familiar way of uncertainty, so he promises, “I’ll be right out here. Go talk to your teacher, ‘n if he says some shit to you, remember I only promised not be stupid about the bully.”

He at least gets a smile for that one, before Max rolls her eyes, “You’re not fighting my science teacher, dummy.”

“Whatever. Just get in there, brat.”

He can see Max holding back a smile as she listens, bounding into her classroom with another quick glance back at Billy to check that he wasn’t lying and going to walk away.

Billy waits until the door fall closed to lean against the row of lockers opposite it, watching her through the little meshed over windows. By now, he’s pretty well versed on what arguments with angry authority figures look like, and the conversation between Max and her teacher is not one. He still stays though, just because Max asked him to, but maybe, just maybe a little for himself, a reassurance that the second he leaves shit isn’t going to get worse, and Max’ll have at least someone other than her equally as nerdy little friends behind her.

Then they both turn and give him a little wave, Max and her teacher, an acknowledgment to Billy that this new routine was indeed going to work out. The way the school district had handled everything else, he wonders if the guy even knew Max wasn’t like his other students until now.

Still, seeing that, Billy gives a half nod in response, and decides his job is done here, at least until tomorrow when he does the same. Max’ll get used to it, and his hope is that the little bully brats won’t. He’ll just have to keep them on their toes.

Which is exactly why, while on his way out, Billy has to break his promise to Max, just slightly, and do something dumb. He finds the Troy kid again, and waits until the little punk is at his peak to knock him down a few pegs.

He’s complaining about some teacher, which is pretty typical for a thirteen-fourteen year old kid, but the other things he’s said to Max make it not as relatable, not as innocent. So he does what any logical, mature adult would do, and scares the piss out of him.

Billy waits until the kid gets a laugh from his troop of assholes, and slams the locker door beside him shut, uncaring of who’s it was. All eyes are quickly on him, all too wide against too pale faces. It’s too easy.

“What are you little shits whining about over here?”

The one in charge steps forward, trying to be tough despite the way he has to practically bend backwards to look up at Billy’s face, “None of your business. Did the freak send you after us to scare us? It ain’t gonna work.”

“Oh I’m not here to scare you. I’m just here to give you your final warning. We’re past the point of intimidation. Matter of fact, next time I have to come here.. it won’t be looking so good for you.”

“You’re lying.” The kid accuses, despite the obvious doubt written behind his features.

Billy can work with that.

“I might be. But I’m still an authority figure over your sorry little asses, and if you don’t start respecting that..” He bends down a little further, still nowhere near the kid but making his whole troupe flinche back, and drops his pitch, “well, I can’t promise what’ll happen to ya, but unlike your teachers, I don’t play by the rules. You got that?”

Straightening himself back out, Billy pretends to start walking away before he adds, “Oh, and if you pick on my kid sister ever again, I will know. Just remember that, uh, Troy was it?”

The kid nods dumbly, literally vibrating with something like fear, and Billy can say he’s pretty satisfied with that. He pats the kid on the shoulder, a touch so gentle it wouldn’t’ve hurt a fly, and notably couldn’t get him in any trouble, but the little shit scampers off, three other puffy head bullies trailing after him.

Everyone sees it happen, Billy with his nasty smirk and his distinguishably high-schooler way of carrying himself, Troy running for the hills in the other direction. He leaves feeling like his point has been thoroughly proven.

It isn’t easy to make Maxine Mayfield cry, but it’s even harder to get away with it, and Billy knows it won’t be a problem from now on.

[wonkyyslush]

SHIP YOUR MUTUALLSSSS I WANT TO SEE THE DRAMA

*evil laughter* instead of paying attention I wrote all of this down during my classes you’re welcome.

I tried to do people you wouldn’t really expect either

And I’m indecisive so some people have two my bad 👩🏾‍🦲

You should also pay me for this I worked hard

I’m never doing this shit again I need a nap omfg 🗿 if you weren’t included in this and you want to be you gotta wait a month for my brain to regenerate sorry besties

@uniquabackyardigans I was stuck between both Aran Ojiro from Haikyuu and Shoto Todoroki from mha so I just picked both.

Todoroki is emotionally unavailable already your type. All jokes aside he would be really soft with you and it’s like a whole different side of him other people don’t really see often. If you were upset about something he probably wouldn’t know how to comfort you (I feel like he’s bad at comforting people in general) but he’d try his best. Also he’s probably touch starved just like you <3 have fun with his conspiracies.

I feel like people think that Aran is mean because of his resting bitch face and also this face -_- he occasionally makes. So when they see how nice he is with you they’re so confused ?? Also remember when you were complaining about your ass in your jeans? He’d say it does make your ass look like a square just to make you mad :) you too also probably think flipping people off is a good date idea 🗿

@king-tobiyolo I ship you with Sakusa Kiyoomi (is that his name?) Now hear me out it would probably be a opposites attract sort of thing. You make shit jokes he’s a germaphobe you’re a menace he’s less of a menace. He hated you at first, you and your bad jokes annoyed him. So when he started catching feelings 👩🏾‍🦲 Theres never a dull moment with you two. You get him to loosen up a little (not a lot but it’s still noticeable).

@lilies-and-rosies I ship you with Megumi Fushiguro. You and Megumi have a interesting dynamic. You’re either done with everyone’s bullshit together or he’s done with your bullshit. You send him the dumbest things (I’m talking about those weird people you find 🧛🏾‍♀️) and he hates to admit it but some of them actually makes him laugh. I feel like he’d be the type to be embarrassed over over the slightest things such as hand holding so you’re gonna crack him out of his shell 🥸. Also you’re a Tsukishima Kinnie? No problem who else would he date he has Yuuji Gojo and Nobara on his ass. LMAO IM SORRY THAT WAS FUNNY TO ME. I also ship you with Hange Zoe but I’m too Lazy to explain further I’ve been at this for hours

@sao-tom3 I ship you with Itadori Yuuji. I don’t know if you’ve watched Jujutsu Kaisen yet but I feel like you and Yuuji would be a cute couple. He’s in love with your cat obviously not more than he’s in love with you but it’s a close call 🤩. He cooks for you (period get yourself a man who can cook). If you have a specific comfort meal you like to eat when you’re sad he’d gladly make it for you and do whatever he can on top of that to cheer you up. He’d also be the type to randomly go “Do you wanna do my make up for me?” Do his makeup bestie 🤬. Have fun with Sukuna bothering you two though. 🦤🦤🦤

@angeldvst-amajiki I ship you with Armin Arlert. I can’t explain myself on this one I just feel like you would be his type (his type being intimidating woman, not saying you’re intimidating but you did say Tamaki would be afraid of you NOT THAT I THINK ITS TRUE THOUGH) um anyways you and Armin would be that couple people didn’t really expect but once they see it they love it. Armin would constantly reassure you that he loves you wether he says it to you straightforwardly or coveys it through his actions. His love language is either quality time or giving out gifts and when I think of Armin giving you sea shells enjoy bestie

@shawtyybae I ship you with Akaashi whatever his last name is. Doesn’t he just look like mega mind? 🥸 But Fr Fr it’ll take a very patient man to deal with your bs. At first I thought that Akaashi would probably go for someone who isn’t a menace (yes I’m saying you’re a menace) because he already has bokuto giving him migraines but you’re an exception I guess? Most of the time he’ll go along with your jokes because why not but other times he’d be like 🧍🏾‍♀️. Akaashi is also a over thinker proven buy bokuto himself 🙄 so I feel like he’d overthink your relationship and then need reassurance that you still like him (I have a ton of Akaashi conspiracy theories but that’s not the point)

@starrjin I ship you with Inumaki and Kita but I don’t feel like writing these anymore so I’m only gonna explain Inumaki 🗿 You and Inumaki in my opinion would be good for each other. He can comfort you without even having to speak somehow and for him he finds your presence comforting. His love language in my opinion is physical touch and acts of service. He can’t speak? He’ll make up for it with his actions.

@melichios I ship you with Eren Jeager. Why you may ask? Because I read your about me and you’re basically into edgy people and who’s edgier than a mass murderer? Also “men with long hair” Last time I checked Eren has some pretty long hair 🌝 He also finds your interest interesting (see what I did there? 🤩) like your biotechnology. Loves hearing you talk about your interest. I mean he’ll fall asleep on you listening to you talk about it but he loves it nonetheless.

@hoodsokka I ship you with Sero and Denki from Mha but I’m only explaining Sero 🗿 You two would be a comedic duo. He wouldn’t even mind the accidental dick jokes in front of his mom (haha get it because you accidentally told a dick joke..in front of..okay) He goes along with whatever impulsive urge you have except having a baby at 17 (haha..get it because..okay) Wether this is a platonic ship or a romantic ship that’s for you to decide.

@aphroditeparadisesstuff (WE SHARE SO MANY OF THE SAME INTERESTS) I ship you with Tsukishima Kei. I read your about me thingy too and it says you’re sarcastic. Who’s more sarcastic then Tsukki? 🤩 You like reading too so library dates yaaaaay. Every now and then he recommends books he’d think you’ll like. He loves hearing about the things you’re passionate about seeing you rant about something like mythology makes him smile. Also “I’m shy” great you two can stay at home together :)

[i-like-writing-stuff]

four months; part 2 [five hargreeves x reader]

a/n: thank you all so so much for your support and feedback! i literally could not believe that the first part has over 200 notes and yall want a continuation like omagash??? im soft, thank you guys <3

here is the long awaited part two, but before we dive into that, i felt the need to ask yall if you want five to be aged up?? in most x reader i’ve read on this site, five is aged up, but I felt like, in my case, i didn’t really needed to mention that because i am only like two months older than the actor, and its not like im gonna write smut with him- gross. point is, idk. should i age him up tho??? idk what to do, so here are both aidan and timothee to soothe ur heart for this second part!! <3

(the gifs do not belong to me, lemme know if u know who made them so i can give credits- they’re real cute mah gawsh!!!)

alsoo if you want more five imagines or literally any other hargreeves sibling or fictional character ousside tua, feel free to leave a request in my inbox! kisses <3

summary: after a long family meeting and more booze, you decide to make a bold move and profess your buried feelings.

part 1

“Men are stupid shitheads.” You concluded, setting your flask on the counter, looking at the new bangs Allison had just cut for you.

Even in her drunken state, they seemed to be very nicely done. You were quite surprised by the way they turned out, but pleased nonetheless. It was a spontaneous decision, getting bangs. You had been sitting in the hair salon she was working at with her, Klaus and Vanya after a not so great family meeting.

Hugs were shared, true, but then arguments started and before you even knew it, Luther stormed out, Diego followed him, Five went missing for whatever business he had, and Klaus claimed that Ben was not even there- apparently, ghosts can’t time travel.

So, it was just the four of you, drunk in a hair salon, with too much alcohol and way too many scissors around you, complaining about how shitty your love lives could be.

“Amen.” Klaus raised his drink in the air, “I’ll drink to that.”

“Right?” Allison nodded, combing her second client, Klaus, “The nerve of Ray! I mean, one thing goes wrong and he’s on a warpath!” She vented, holding the bottle of liquor in her free hand, “I mean, doesn’t know who I am?! No, no! No, Ray- you know exactly who I am, you just can’t handle it!”

You watched with a raised brow as Vanya was out of zone, pretending to be shooting the long line of empty bottles gathered in front of her, as Allison kept on continuing her rant. Her husband had just seen her use her powers on the night they started the protest, and was now having a real hard time comprehending what was going on. You didn’t see him at home either, so you figured he may have been upset with you as well for maybe hiding the secret. Or maybe he thought you were like her, who knows?

“Hey, wouldn’t it be weird if Five grew up all hot?” Klaus suddenly asked, taking a drag out of his cigarette, as he got up from his seat to walk around the hair salon, “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“Why would you even think of your brother like that?” You asked riddled, narrowing your eyes at the man as his sisters almost gagged at the thought.

“Oh, please, you’ve been thinking that, haven’t you?” Klaus asked, pointing at you as you took another swig from your nearly empty flask.

“I... I mean- he’s... Five... uh... no comment!” You suddenly declared, at loss of words, as you got up from your seat, trying to maintain your balance as you made your way towards the bottle of liquor to fill your flask again.

“When are you two gonna confess your feelings?” Allison asked with a groan, letting her head fall backwards as she sat on the chair, “It’s getting really tiring!”

“We have an apocalypse going on!” You argued, “There’s no time for feelings!”

“This is the perfect time for feelings!” Klaus chimed in, taking another drag out of his cigarette, “These might be your last six days on Earth! Do you want to die regretting that you never told Five how you felt about him?”

“I’m not having this conversation anymore.” You declared, out of arguments, as you poured liquor in your flask, “Why don’t we talk about Allison’s crush on Luther instead?”

“We have never even kissed!” Allison defended herself, causing Vanya to spin on her chair confused, looking between the three of you.

“Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and... all that.” Klaus waved her off, sipping from his own flask.

“Aren’t we all brothers and sisters, or...?” Vanya wondered confused, as you and Klaus snorted amused at her innocence.

“Well... technically...” Allison tried to find an excuse or explanation, but she was having a hard time putting her thoughts in place.

“Technically?” Klaus raised a brow, “If you....” He stammered, trying to regain his train of thought, “If you have to use the word technically, you’re already in trouble.”

“Okay, can we go back to Five and Y/N?” Allison tried to change the subject, “Or maybe at least help me save my marriage?”

“That’s like...” Klaus stumbled on his own feet, filling his flask again, as you leaned against Vanya’s chair curiously, “That’s like asking a nun how to hump someone’s leg! I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?” He asked, pointing at Vanya, “In secret love with some farm Frau!”

“Her name’s Sissy.” Vanya informed him.

“Which is an improvement on her previous love interest.” He said, looking at you and Allison, as you shook your heads to slightly tell him to shut up, “...the serial killer.”

“What?!” Vanya yelled, looking between you and Allison for an explanation, but you just softly waved her off, promising to remind her later.

“And look at this one!” Klaus ignored the three of you, pointing at... well, you, “A fifty year old assassin, who got the chance to be a teen again, but she is too afraid to admit her feelings for the... wait, is Five a boy or a man?”

“Both?” You raised a brow, unsure of the answer.

“Meanwhile, I’m carrying a torch for a soldier I haven’t technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.” Klaus waved you off, trying to keep his balance again on his feet.

“Okay, again- we are not biological!” Allison tried to defend herself once more, but Klaus simply ignored her.

“Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin.” He said, making all of you nod in agreement, as you couldn’t help but confess, taking another chug out of your flask;

“I can’t believe I got to the point where I was jealous of Dolores.”

Okay, maybe ‘banging’ and ‘jealous’ were strong words, but you had to admit you were not that pleased when one of the first things that Five did when he got back to 2019, was go to some store to get back his plastic girlfriend who kept him company in the four decades he spent all by himself in the apocalypse.

You understood his mind, though. You would have gone insane as well if you had to be all alone after the end of the world, without another soul on the planet. Nonetheless, you still were maybe a tad too happy when he decided to return her to the store.

Leaving you the only woman he had eyes for, unbeknownst to you.

“I’m gonna tell Sissy that I love her.” Vanya suddenly declared, straightening her position confidently.

“You go, girl!” You cheered, clapping for your friend.

“I don’t want any secrets.” She said, making you and the other two nod in agreement, contemplating about your own lives.

“Yeah!” Allison said, getting up with the bottle of alcohol tightly clutched in her hand, “Yeah, yeah- you’re right! Yes, ‘cause, you know- if this all goes tits-up, the least I can do is be honest with my husband!

“Oh, does that mean I have to face my cult?” Klaus sighed, “I just hate group break-ups, it’s why I stopped dating twins!”

You pondered about it for a moment, in your state that was definitely not the most sober. You had a lot of alcohol coursing through your veins, but you felt like maybe it was better. You could think with your heart more than you could think with your brain, and your heart was telling you that your friends were right.

They all are getting themselves ready to take big risks in their lives, why shouldn’t you? They had a valid point; the world was gonna end in six days if you guys couldn’t find a way to solve this. Last time you didn’t have the brightest plan, so why should this time be a success? Reality hit you; there was a real big chance that you might die.

So why not just be honest with Five? What was the worst that could happen? You manage to save the world and Five rejects you? Big deal!

Well, it actually was a big deal.

“What if he rejects me?” You asked all of a sudden, causing the three siblings to turn to you, “What if I tell Five how I feel about him and he rejects me? I know maybe at my age I shouldn’t be this anxious about a man, but... it’s not like I’m going anywhere, I’m glued to the Hargreeves clan.”

And it was true. After the events of the 2019 apocalypse, right before you and the others got separated, you shared an adorable moment in which you confessed to each other how happy you were to have met and be taken into their family as one of their own.

“Normally, I’d say to not ponder on that for too... long.” Klaus slurred, “But given that it’s Five, you don’t even have to worry about that.”

“He’s right.” Allison shrugged, “That won’t be a problem.

“I have no memory of any of you, but from the hug I’ve seen you two share earlier- you’re not just friends.” Vanya spoke up, making you stare into nothingness for a moment.

I mean, it’s Five we are talking about. If he were to have any feelings, it’s not like he’d be honest with them or act, right? It would be up to you to make the first move.

You let out a long sigh, rubbing your hands on your upper arms, reminding yourself of the hug. It may have been the first time you and Five actually hugged, in all the years you’ve known each other. The way he held you close and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, taking in your scent, feeling you in his arms, even if for him it had been only four days. You had to live with the thought that he may be dead for months.

And you hated that, you knew you wanted him alongside you. You wanted that little rude, at times obnoxious dipshit, with a soft heart- as much as he hated to admit it. You loved how much he cared about his family, about saving the world. Five is a great person; he is caring and has a big heart, as much as he tried to hide it behind his trashmouth.

“Fine!” You groaned, letting your head fall backwards, “I’ll tell Five I fucking love him and his dipshit face!”

“Yes!” Klaus clapped, as Allison and Vanya cheered proudly, “Come here!”

You and Vanya walked towards him, as Allison wrapped an arm around his waist, waiting for the two of you to skip towards them, pulling you into a group hug, as “Twistin’ the night away” by Sam Cooke blasted on the radio, causing the four of you to start a small dance party, letting for the first time in a long while your problems just go away.

For the sake of the song.

After a couple more hours of drinking, gossiping and dancing, the four of you decided to finally part ways and attend your promised business. Klaus went to deal with his cult, as Allison decided to be completely honest with her husband at home and Vanya was going to confess to Sissy.

As for you?

You were going to tell Five Hargreeves you were in love with him.

“Hey, dipshit!” You confidently yelled, running up the stairs of the store, trying to find Five.

“Y/N?” Five frowned, walking out of the kitchen with a coffee mug in his hands and a confused look on his face, “Are you... even more drunk? And did you get bangs- what the...?”

“Shut up.” You waved him off, walking towards him to grab the mug out of his hand to sober yourself up, “Why in the hell are you even drinking coffee at this hour?”

“I’m... trying to calm myself...” He frowned, watching as you chugged his freshly poured coffee.

“Normally I’d ask.” You said, setting the mug on the counter, shaking your head, “But right now what I have to say is more important.”

“Is that so?” Five raised a brow curiously, as you slowly slapped your cheeks, trying to get the room to stop moving, “Why don’t you go to bed?” He asked, gently pushing you towards the couch, “And we talk in the morning? I don’t really have time for this.”

“No!” You yelled, stopping in your tracks to poke his chest, “We don’t have to talk! I talk and you- you listen!” You said, poking his chest again, “You never have time for anything, all you can think of is your stupid apocalypse!”

“Oh yes, isn’t that a trivial thing to be thinking of?” He asked with a sarcastic smile, crossing his arms.

“I don’t need your sarcasm!” You yelled, poking his chest a third time, feeling him get more tense.

“I swear to God, Y/N, if you do that one more time-...” Five took in a deep breath, as he could feel as he was slowly losing his patience.

“Shut up!” You groaned, watching as his brows knitted in confusion, “I’m trying to confess my feelings for you, you moron!”

“W...What?” He asked, as his face suddenly softened, unfolding his arms.

“I’m in love with you!” You sighed, rubbing your face, “Okay? I-I am in love with you and I am trying to sober myself up, but I think I may have had too much to drink.”

“You think?” Five scoffed, slowly leading you towards the couch, “Are you sure you’re not saying this just because you have a ton of alcohol coursing through you?”

“Well... kinda, ‘cause if I were sober there was no way in hell I would have confessed.” You puffed, complying, as you let yourself guided by him, “Allison, Klaus and Vanya all convinced me that I should tell you, that we only have six days left on Earth and in case we don’t save it... I shouldn’t be going down with regrets.”

Five listened to your every word carefully, as you continuing venting about how his siblings spent the whole day trying to convince you to tell him about your feelings, as he slowly held your hands, as you took a seat on the couch. He nodded at your words to let you know that he was listening, as he took two pillows off the armchairs beside, placing them at one end, softly pushing you down.

“...and then Klaus said that he hates group breakups.” You said, not even noticing what was going on, feeling your lids get heavier once your head met the pillow.

“Not a surprise there...” Five muttered, grabbing the blanket that was rested on top of the couch, placing it over you.

“Are you trying to dismiss me?” You wondered, but still making yourself more comfortable, as you sat on your side, with your head facing Five, who knelt in front of you tired.

He bit back a smile, watching as you slowly closed your eyes. He knew you were extremely drunk, he could see that in the way exhaust took over you. Not only you had a lot of alcohol in your system, but you’ve also had some long couple of days, and some longer ones were ahead of you until you knew for a fact the world was safe once more.

“I don’t know how it is, that you’re the one person who actually makes me feel... soft.” He confessed, watching your lips curve into a smile at his words, “You... drunken idiot.”

“I regret nothing.” You said proudly, as Five couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, softly stroking your hair to help you fall asleep sooner.

“We’ll see about that in the morning.” He smirked amused, watching as you pouted.

“You never gave me an answer, you know.” You pointed out, letting his soft touch calm you down, as you felt sleep slowly take over you.

“You never gave me a question.” He retorted, knowing for sure that if your eyes were opened, you would roll them at him.

“I think you like to hear me say that I am in love with you, it’s the third time I have to say it.” You said, slowly placing your hands under your pillow, making yourself more comfortable.

“I am happy to see that you still know how to count.” Five said, placing some wild strands of hair behind your ear.

“Screw you.” You said, making him grin, as he went back to stroking your hair.

“In this whole... shitty situation I managed to get myself into, you, Y/N, might as well be the only thing keeping me sane... surprisingly.” Five frowned at the last bit, watching as you opened your eyes, shifting your head to watch him, “I love you too, moron.”

“I never said I love you.” You smirked, teasing him as he rolled his eyes.

“You little chipmunk...” Five sighed, shaking his head in disbelief amused, as you leaned into his touch more, closing your eyes, pleased with yourself.

“Yeah, but you still love me.” You said, not once dropping that smirk on your lips.

“You’re impossible, did you know that?” He wondered, resting his forearm on the couch beside you, as he knelt on the floor, trying to make himself more comfortable, noticing the way you were enjoying the scalp massage... for free.

“A little bit.” You slowly shrugged, wrapping your arms around his, once you felt it beside you.

Five watched with a soft smile as you pulled his arms closer to your face, nuzzling into it with a satisfied smile, happy that you listened to your friends.

And deep down, so was Five thanking his siblings.

[an-emovision]

Someone to you - Izuku Midoriya

--------------------------------------------------------- A/N: Highkey cringed a little when i was editing this but like its fine i guess, hope you enjoy!  Trigger warning(s): self esteem issues, low self worth(?)(if you’re feeling these things please know you are wonderful and beautiful just the way you are and someone out there loves you and if no one does then i will >:)) --------------------------------------------------------- "Hey! Good morning Y/N!" You looked up from your phone to find Izuku Midoriyas bright smile. as he made his way towards your figure on the couch you returned his smile with your own tired one. "Good morning Izu" You replied, letting out a yawn and stretching your arms out above you. His brilliant green eyes seemed to follow your every movement as he made note of your current appearance. Given that you were still in what seemed to be your pajamas which consisted of an over-sized white shirt and black shorts, not only that but your hair was all askew. He came to the conclusion that you had just woken up which was correct, so his smile softened as he sat next to you, the couch dipping from his sudden weight on the cream colored cushions.  You crossed your legs as you watched him take a seat next to you in the common room of the UA dorms. A sweeter smile gracing your heavenly features as he sat, well at least Izuku thought they were heavenly as he watched your face contort into the smile. His favorite thing about you had always been your smile.  The day ahead seemed easy, It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. Mina even offered you to come shopping with her, Uraraka, and Tsu which you gladly accepted. So why did you feel so...Sad? Nothing necessarily bad had happened that day, nothing more then the usual. It was the weekend which meant no class, but that didn't mean most of your classmates weren't working to better themselves still. Bakugo was picking fights with Todoroki and Midoriya while Ida tried to break it up as usual. Kirishima having to drag Bakugo away so he could cool off. No one really knew what set him off, no one usually does. So the class simply assumed it was Midoriyas existence (which was correct)  and went about their day. So why did your figure feel especially heavy today? Why did you feel so upset?  "...y/n?....Helloooo Y/N? You okay?" you were snapped out of your thoughts by Mina who had placed a hand on your shoulder and was looking at you with slight worry in her features. Your eyes darted to her golden orbs and gave her a quick nod and a half-assed smile "Yeah! yeah im good!" you let out an embarrassed chuckle as your eyes left Minas and settled on Uraraka and Tsu who were also look at you with slight concern etched into their features. The girls looked at each other for a moment before Mina nodded and continued about her rant about some clothing brand that sold a jacket she really really wanted. The group continued to walk about the mall checking out shops and buying some snacks for your roommates along the way. You still didn't know what was wrong with you, still curious as to why your social stamina wasn't quite up to par today. You were having fun, at least that's what you were telling yourself but in actuality all you wanted was to go home, change into some pajamas and lay in bed for a while. Maybe get lost in your own thoughts while mindlessly scrolling through your social medias.  A soft sigh and relief left you as Tsu suggested that they go back home as it was getting pretty late. You, Uraraka, and Mina nodded in agreement then headed for the UA dorms. On the way there you yet again got lost in your own thoughts as the three girls stopped bothering to try and include you into the conversation. Not in a rude way, they could just tell after a while you weren't really up to the task of participating in any conversation. That didn't stop them from asking if you where okay every once in a while. After stepping into the dorms you all went your separate ways. You headed straight for your bedroom after passing out the snacks you had gotten for your friends, these friends being Midoriya, yaomomo, and Kaminari. Your eyes took in the details your familiar dorm room as you closed the door behind you and set your shopping bags by the door. As promised by yourself you collected your pajamas of choice and changed into them before hopping into bed and cuddling into your warm blankets with a gentle content sigh. You sat up and took your phone from your bedside table, then laid back down and continued to scroll through Instagram. Seeing model after model made you feel a little uneasy, almost self conscious. Well 'almost' it did make you feel self conscious, then seeing all of your beautiful friends pictures. Even Bakugos looked awesome. You felt inferior, like maybe you didnt deserve to be friends with such beautiful and talented people. Each and every one of them had something it didnt matter if it was brains or strength but they all had something. and what did you have? You didnt know. In your eyes everything that's happened to you so far was pure luck.  You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes as you questioned your own self worth. This wasn't the first time you would lay in your bed and sob, questioning what you did to deserve all of the things that you've been blessed with. There were people out there with no homes, no family, no food and here you where living in a fancy dorm, trying to become a hero and graduate from UA. What did you do to deserve anything you had? why not someone who really really needed it. You didn't see how hard you worked to get where you are, you didn't acknowledge that you worked just as hard as anyone else in Class 1-A. It was easy for someone like Midoriya to recognize, he worked his ass off to control his quirk and get into UA. He always admired your problem solving ability and your quirk. Oh man did he love your quirk, hes made multiple pages of notes on your quirk alone, not even counting your hero suits awesomeness. However, he hated that you brushed off all of your accomplishments as someone else's doing, or gave the credit to luck. Some days all he wanted to do was hug you and tell you every amazing detail about yourself. He wishes he could be as cool as you, really he does. It took him a long time to realize that he didn't just admire you, he had fallen in love with you. He was constantly trying to up his game to impress you and cherished the moments where you praised him no matter how often it was. he truly just wanted to be somebody to you. Midoriya had informed Ida of his feelings for you then proceeded to ask for advice, like Ida knew anything about relationships. Midoriya didn't know about your self esteem issues and you'd rather he didn't as not to worry him, but as you laid on your bed, sobbing and hating yourself for being so weak and crying you couldn't think of anyone better to consult. So you picked your phone up again and scrolled through your contacts, rubbing your now puffy and red eyes as you clicked the call button under his name "Broccoli🥦💚" "Hello?" the corner of your lips tugged into a small smile as you heard his sweet voice. then you cleared your throat before speaking. your voice was a bit hoarse from crying. "U-Uh, hi Izu" You could hear his smile as he greeted you. "Hey Y/N!" he greeted, almost as if he hadn’t read the contact name before picking up the phone "Whats up?" "Are you in your room right now?" It felt a bit awkward to ask and to him it seemed like a slightly odd question to ask but nevertheless he answered. "Uh Yeah, why whats up?" You silently thanked whatever god was out there that he didn't notice your voice sounded as messed up as it did. "uh nothing, I just- Uh can i come over?" He nodded even though you couldn't see him then gave you the okay to come over. You hung up after telling him you'll be over in 5 and slid off your bed, slipping on your slippers before making your way towards your bedroom door. Izuku was panicking a little. Had he done something wrong? you two hadn't really spoken that day so he didn't think that was the case necessarily. Maybe Ida told you about him liking you. Multiple scenes of him telling you of Dekus crush and you looking disgusted after played in his head. Dammit Ida he cursed mentally, not really knowing if Ida had told you or not. He practically jumped out of his own skin when he heard a knock at his door, already knowing it was you he strode over and opened it. Expecting to find you smiling as always however, his "Hey!" got cut short and his grin fell when his brilliant green orbs landed on your damp cheeks and your red and puffy eyes. All fear of you knowing about his crush on you left him, it was replaced with worry and it was clear as day on his face. Upon seeing him, the one that picked you up when you fell down, your first friend at UA, the one that made your cheeks heat up and your stomach to do back flips tears began to stream down your cheeks again. You fell into his arms and without hesitation he embraced you tightly, gently shushing you and running his fingers through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. You let out a gentle hiccup as he hooked his arm under the back of your knees and carried you further into his room after gently closing the door with his foot. Placing you on the edge of his bed and sitting next to you his hand rubbed your back up and down as he gently took you into his embrace again. You loved this man, you really really loved him and it wan't until you were burying your face into his shoulder that you realized it. After your sobs died down and your breathing became normal he gingerly pulled away from you before giving you a soft smile and gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face, still rubbing your back at a gentle pace before eventually stopping and resting on your lower back. "Do you wanna tell me whats wrong now?" He let out in a whisper his eyes never leaving yours. "I-I just-" you where cut off by your own sniffle "I don't know what i did to deserve any of this. I don't deserve to be at UA, hell i don't even deserve my quirk." your voice was small, barely a mumble but he was still able to hear it. That doesn't mean he wanted to hear you talk down on yourself, he couldn't believe what he was hearing really. your eyes left his and landed on your lap as you let out your feelings "I dont-...I dont deserve you" "I can't believe you" Midoriya sounded genuinely upset, your eyes found his again only to be met with a disappointed expression. It wasn't at all what you where expecting but...maybe you deserved it.   "How could you say you don't deserve being here when you're one of the most hard working people i've ever met?" Your eyes widened a little, you where going to say how even Mineta works harder then you do but he cut you off before you could "You're absolutely amazing Y/N, having you as a classmate hell even having you as a friend is inspiring. The advice you give to others is amazing, your quirk is awesome, your hero suit is the best one i've ever seen, you could get us out of any situation and-" He was cut off by a pair of soft lips against his. His eyes were saucers and he was stunned, looking at you like a deer in the headlights when you pulled away. Worry settled in your stomach upon seeing his reaction. "I-Im sorry, I shouldn't have done that i just couldn't stop mys-mmph" Now it was his turn to cut you off, with his lips of course. Your eyes where wide for a moment before they gently fluttered closed and you kissed him back. He let out a pleased hum before pulling away to your dismay. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, admiring each others features. His freckle dotted cheeks where now dusted with crimson and so where yours. "I-I didnt know you..." he let out, trailing off at the end of his sentence, you nodded shyly "Y-Yeah I just didnt realize it until a little bit ago." you gave him a sheepish grin as he let out a soft chuckle and nodded. "Yeah i didnt realize it either." then his features became serious and you noticed it, waiting for him to say whatever he was going to say "Seriously, you're amazing. I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart" his words left his lips in a mumble as he brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "I know i can't just tell you to stop feeling this way because that's not how feelings work but...I will do my absolute best to help you" he didn't say it out loud, but he was promising this to you. You smiled and nodded, moving to bury your face into his shoulder. He hugged you as he placed his chin on your shoulder, taking in your sweet sent before smiling at the words you let out. "Thank you Izu” 

[crispyjenkins]

I... I felt I was all alone being uninterested in kid fics so I'm very happy to see it's not just me. (Sorry I'm going to rant for a bit) It's probably linked to the fact that I personally don't want kids but sometimes... I just want to see people able to be happy without children? Even if they don't dislike kids or anything! And sometimes it straight up makes me uncomfortable to see kid fics for this exact reason. (Also it depends on the fandom but SW is definitely one where I generally dislike kid fics, which I think wasn't improved by all the Luke-as-Rey's-father thing)

HI I'M HERE TO VALIDATE YOU

and i have a whole fecking lot of feelings about this topic in particular, this is gonna get a little wordy, but i've tried to organise it somewhat

First: i don't want kids. i'm fairly to extremely confident i'll never want kids. partly because I do not have the mental/physical capacity to devote the time and energy and emotion that children deserve and need. someone on tumblr said it ages ago, "if I don't WANT a kid, if i'm just indifferent, im not going to have a fucking kid until i actively want one", because children are sentient beings and not cute things to make you happy or feel more put together.

Okay, second: i very rarely see parenting written well (and i don't mean about perfect or unproblematic parents), i would even go so far as to call it trivialising. or maybe just completely unrealistic? it's either all honeymoon-period schmoop (which is not necessarily a bad thing) or it's hardly even about the kids and at that point, well, what's the point? especially if the kid is an oc, they can't just. exist on the sidelines of their parents life.

Third: if the kid is a canon character, their entire personality gets nerfed into one or two traits and are shoehorned to fit the narrative the author is trying to tell. this is a complicated issue because i sincerely believe in fun for the sake of fun and interacting with your fandom however you want, but i also just. kids deserve better?

Fourth: on that subject, i most often see the child in question be an oc. again, they're given one or two traits, but are then just a prop for whatever plot is happening to the actual ship. maybe i'm missing something, but i don't understand why you wouldn't use a canon character in the first place? very few fandoms don't already have paternal/maternal/parental relationships to play around with, ESPECIALLY if the author has already made it an au!! i'm not going to pretend a big reason i don't seek out kid fic isn't because they're almost always modern aus, which i already don't like. maybe this one is more petty, but i think kid characters deserve more time and attention put into them as characters, and tbh i've never once seen it done with an oc kid.

Fifth: if it's about adoption, i only EVER see babies (esp in modern aus). the implication that kids aren't adoptable past a certain age is horrendously damaging and i'm so uncomfortable with it that this is another reason i don't seek these stories out.

if it ISN'T adoption, then it's either a) cis mpreg, which is so incredibly transphobic and weirdly fetishising and blehhhhh, or b) transmasculine mpreg which i've. literally never seen written by a trans person so like... aight.

Sixth: the parents are out of character. i've talked a little about woobification before, about the hyperfeminising of one half of the ship and the hypermasculating of the other to fit the mother/father binary that is also inherently transphobic. the characters are sort of just replaced with an honestly hurtful binary rooted in systematic misogyny at the complete sacrifice of their entire personality, and it’s honestly exhausting as both a trans person and a romantically queer person.

before getting into prequel star wars stuff, specifically with mando ships, i don't think i even once read a kid fic where the parents felt plausible and in character, especially if it’s put into a modern au, and i've been reading fanfiction for a decade.

Seventh: i really don't know how to word this part without airing out my own trauma, but back to the trivialising bit, the way authors tend to write this honeymoon-phase type of parenting makes me feel really gross? maybe that's petty or very specifically personal, but the way kids are only in scenes to prop the parents' storyline hits a little too close to home. i'm the third child and the middle child, and that so many "takes" on parenting implicitly hold up the notion of kids only being worth mentioning/caring about/developing is when it's important or relevant to the parents. i dunno, kids deserve better than that.

Eighth: okay finally bringing this back to star wars. i blacklist any parenting anything from any ships from the Original Trilogy. for the prequels, I exclusively read adoption-based stuff, partly because I don't really have any cishet ships i read specifically about, but also because that means the rest is mpreg.

now, i've been positively spoiled by Mando and/or Jedi ships and their culturally important adoption. like i get to read stuff where the parents feel in character? and aren't one dimensional binary caricatures? and the kids are treated as characters and not plot props? AND they're usually older than ten?? to be fair, there are ships i still don't read kid fic for, CodyWan for example, for many reasons i actually haven't covered here, and Boba and Anakin are given the most justice as adopted kids (that i've seen; fingers crossed for more ahsoka and twins content) so there's a massive disparity in representation (which is a star wars-wide issue) but this is also the first time i've even wanted to write child characters.

your bit about characters being happy and having fulfilling lifelong relationships without kids is so incredibly important to me, because it feels exactly the same as an ace person constantly being told i'm missing out. so i'm also wary of fixits centered around parenting, or even "adopting the clones" themes because it's. there's so many more facets to family than parent and child, and i dunno. this is the second time i've written all this and i haven't slept yet so i don't even know if I'm making sense anymore so just basically

i feel you, anon. i'm exhausted by having to blacklist or exclude so many tags just to find content that doesn't make me uncomfortable, and i'm so so so happy to be in the prequels corner of the fandom, because i'm also seeing this problem improving as i watch it. so i have hope, but right now, keep kid fic as far away from me as possible.

(you are correct, the luke and rey dynamic was bullshit and has set us back a lot, though maybe not as much as the fandom's frankly horrifying reaction to kylo ren and blaming all his faults on leia, but that's another topic entirely)

i'll also add that i'm fucking terrible with kids, and reading how they're treated by authors upsets me greatly

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Guess what just dropped in Obey Me.

I'll give you a hint: it starts with a ‘L’ and ends with a ‘39’...

Then again, you probably already know this, but just in case you don't...

In other news, I finally decided to go and complete Lesson 31, so yay me. Now I'm just gonna stay on Lesson 32 for a bit.

-Lesson 31 32 Anon

Proud of you for graduating past 31!!!👏💖

I played 39 and im sobbing?!? I already went through this bs why do I havta do it again!!!!? Also do you think lesson 40 will be the last lesson for a while?

Spoilers for 39 ahead cause I'm emotional and need to rant

So MC ends up at a party at diavolo's, he thanks them for saving Lucifer and the devildom (pretty sure that was all just simeon's doing but whatever) and says he's holding a party in their honour (really should be in Simeon's honour but whatever)

MC has a flashback about what happened after they woke up during the whole ring and speaking to Michael (and hopefully not God) thing. The rest of the brothers all rush in yelling, asking if MC is okay cause beel saw a light from the celestial realm coming from their room, Lucifer yells at them to shut up and they realise he's regained his memories

Mammon who's the first one who came in, arrived while yelling and asking if MC was alright, if they had died and if they had vanished....sure hope lesson 16 didn't leave any lasting scars there...

Back in the present time the brothers are crowding around MC and Lucifer. Belphie & Satan note how they'll miss Lucifer with amnesia and how they'll have to get back to pranking him. Asmo calls them out about actually caring about Lucifer.

Diavolo asks MC for a dance, and has one of those dialogues that make me think he'll be a romanceable character in the future. He tells MC how they're helping him bring the three worlds together and how they're his guiding light and how he wants them by his side forever, except before he finishes that last sentence the song ends and Luke cuts in. When MC tries to leave he grabs on to their hand, and you can either say 'ow that hurts' or ask him if he wants a second dance. If you choose the second he blushes and you dance again but he doesn't finish his sentence from earlier

The next morning Lucifer is nagging everyone even more than normal (possibly to make up for lost time) but at the same time he seems even closer with the brothers (asking about Levi's game and Asmo's crush)

On the way to rad MC meets up with the angels and Solomon. Solomon says that they'll have to be leaving soon to their own worlds (why!!!?) Luke and MC both get visibly bummed. They tease Luke and tell him he can live in the devildom if he wishes (he denies it) and Solomon asks MC if they want to leave MC can either say they don't wanna leave the brothers or 'the human world fuckinh sucks what the fuck have you been up there recently it's the worst' (since we got those 'hang in there' pandemic voice messages from the brothers can we assume that this game happens in the present? Y'all really wanna throw MC back out there?)

At rad MC tells this to asmo, beel and mammon (I imagine they do this while facedown on a desk cause that's the only appropriate response rn)

They're all upset and MC says they don't ever want to leave. The brothers tell them to go tell this to Diavolo after RAD.

MC goes and tells this to diavolo (in the presence of Lucifer & barbatos). Lucifer & diavolo aren't surprised and were both expecting this. They tell MC that they are happy that they made such lasting connections and that hey want them to stay as well (yesyesyes-) but (MOTHERFU-) MC is a human and belongs with the humans and that they don't have to leave immediately but that they have a life in the human world anhddjdidndjx do y'all not remember when they were moping around in the human world and how they literally jumped at the chance to come back down to the devildom with no preparation at all???? Y'all remember how asmo noted that they had got thinner after they came back????? Can you pls just ask them if they have anything worth going back to!?

Anyway MC's back home moping around in the library with Belphie and Levi. They tell MC that Lucifer & Diavolo are just playing hard to get and want MC to stay as well but think their positions mean they can't ask for it.

Belphie says that if MC can learn teleportation magic they could constantly drop down to the devildom

MC invites Solomon out to a fancy date and asks him to teach them teleportation magic. He tells them that though their raw magic power surpasses his, they don't have the skill yet and that he'll teach them but teleportation magic usually takes years to learn.

He tells them that usually when making pacts with demons they are done in the human world and a ritual must be conducted. At the end of the ritual a demon may give the human what is most dear to them and the human can use it as a token to summon the demon at any given time (while this is great and all I need my family feels and it'll probably not be practical to summon all 7 of them at a time....maybe MC can summon Lucifer and show him how bad life can be when you're (probably) someone in their mid twenties with no attachments or consistent job and he'll feel sorry for them and whisk them back home?)

Asmo had given Solomon is favourite picture of himself. Except back in their times cameras didn't exist so really it's a large portrait of himself. Solomon says it's a real problem (and I'm cackling, imagine bringing someone home and you have a -knowing asmo- giant probably vaguely sexual picture of some guy on your wall!!!?)

Back home MC meets Satan first (he's being crushed under a collapsed mountain of books after Lucifer told him to clean his room) MC helps him not die and clean his room. He gives them the body switch book (remember that!!!!) He says its power's all gone so it's basically worthless but he still treasures it because of what it did for him (I'm not crying!) He tells MC that even though they'll be able to summon him, he'll still miss them and that he won't be able to be with them when he wants to and it's all really sad and meaningful and I'm okay I swear. You get a choice to either kiss or hug him. Even if you choose to hug him he tells MC he wants to always be with them

Lucifer has asked asmo to throw out all the clothes he doesn't use (the reason lucfier is an undateable option to me is cause he reminds me too much of my own family) and now Asmo's struggling with 10 packed boxes of clothes. MC helps and asmo tells them that Solomon told him about everything. He tells them that he can't give the things dearest to him 'cause those things are himself and MC. MC suggests taking a picture together.

After taking pictures in his room they tell him that now they'll miss each other less and he gets teary eyed and tells them that as long as they're not with him he'll still miss them and he asks them to summon him whenever they want even if that means everyday, he asks them never to forget him (lucifer why the fuck are you putting your family and yourself through so much pain just let the human stay!) you get to stroke his hair and he says he'll miss not getting physical affection from MC whenever he wants to.

(There should probably be ways to get the option to kiss asmo and belphie but I couldn't get them in my first play through and I didn't want to immediately do all that again to check out other options)

MC finds Belphie hiding in the music room from Lucifer who has asked him to clean up the attic (imagine asking someone to clean up the place you locked them up in???? I mean ik Belphie likes the attic now but that's still all kinds of messed up)

MC and belphie head to the planetarium and watch the stars belphie says that MC has a look on their face that means they want to ask him something. You can either immediately dive into the whole summoning thing or tell him you want to be by his side forever. He tells MC about their stars, which he spoke about in s1, he tells them each of his brothers has a star and even though he lives with them when he comes and looks at their stars altogether he feels closer with them/like they're all together. So he gives MC his star. MC gets to say all these things about how they don't wanna leave him and wish they could stay together forever, they hold hands and there's this gorgeous visual & line of dialogue

And well that's it. If mc has to leave and if all the brothers' interactions are like this my heart will be well and truely broken

[manireads]

freelancer, changkyun x reader 5

word count: 3238

changkyun x reader 

an: here we are the long awaited fifth part of freelancer. let me know if you like and enjoy <3 im a lil late but shhhh

also, there is some cursing in this part.  

But it didn’t stop her from thinking about him. Changkyun would cross her mind every now and then as she hoped that he was okay. He never tried contacting her after she officially broke it off with him. It troubled her because they were so close to each other, practically attached at the hip and now they were almost like strangers....

The first year was the toughest for her. It took a while after the initial break up for Y/N to finally recenter her life around her. It didn’t take long for her to realize that she didn’t want to keep working as a waiter for the rest of her life and that maybe it was time to finally finish her degree in medicine. But the idea of working a full time job and having piles of homework had taken its toll on her, especially coming out of a very painful breakup. She ended up leaving her job as a waiter and for a short while Soobin and Sojung helped her with money. But it didn’t last long, not because her friends couldn’t help her but Y/n started to feel like a bit of a mooch. 

So she did something she never thought she would do since moving away after high school and called her parents. Y/N hadn’t talked to her parents since her graduation when she dropped the bomb on them that she was going to be moving away with her boyfriend, however they couldn’t understand why. Y/N was a very smart girl and had received a myriad of full scholarships to other schools that she applied to. They’d assume she would take one and focus on herself. Instead, she was going to go to a school that hadn’t offered anything to her and was only doing this because of a boy. 

Reasonably, they were skeptical of her plan and tried to get her to change her mind. The young Y/N stuck with her guns and when the time came, Changkyun and her were on a train to Seoul. Her father was the first one to cut off contact with her as he was still upset with her. But now he was the one doing most of the talking. It wasn’t long into the conversation that her father blasted her with an entire ‘I told you so speech.’ While her mother spent most of the call trying to stop her husband’s nagging and trying to persuade Y/N to move back home. It was a long and trying phone call, having to listen to her father while not getting too angry and reject her mother's plans to return to the family home. By the end of the call, she had promised to call her mother more and that during an upcoming break, she’d visit them for a two week vacation.

When she got there, she was welcomed with home open arms, her mother immediately catching up on all the missed time. The two of them went shopping and hung out around the town. Y/N followed her around on all her errands and for a while it was really nice to be home. But her mother is a persistent woman and stuck up the conversation of Y/N coming home permanently again and again. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home sweetheart?” her mother tried again. This had to have been the fifth or sixth time she had asked and she had only been home for a couple of days. 

“Mom, I really appreciate you and dad helping me with the whole money situation but I don’t want to come back.” She sighed. “I love my life in Seoul and I don’t want to have to start all over again here.” Y/N knew that she wanted to be back in the city. She wanted to make it on her own and pay her friends back for all they had done for her.

And while all that was very true for Y/N, she knew deep down that there was something stopping her. This small town she once called home was filled with memories of her and Changkyun. Even just going out to the store, she’d be reminded of teenage dates with him. She was too fragile to live in a place that would constantly remind her of someone she cherished so much. She couldn't explain that to her parents, especially her dad, who was still angry at Changkyun that they didn’t even want to hear his name.

“You know I never liked-”

“That boy. Yes, I know.” Y/N finished his sentence exasperatedly, trying to get across that she knows he feels. He’s expressed it over and over again.

“I know you know but,” He goes on.“You were doing so well in school and you would have had your degree by now if you hadn’t dropped out. You could have been working as a doctor and not scrapping around and having to ask us for money.”

“You know dad, if it’s really that big of a problem then you don’t have to help me at all.” She said annoyed at his ranting. Y/N had let him go on about it since she first called him but now it had become overkill. She had come here to relax for a little while and if this was going to ruin her time with family then she’d rather figure it out on her own. 

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” In that moment, he realized how his ranting came off more as complaining. He walked over to her and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before hugging her. “I just want the best for my daughter and I’m upset I couldn’t give you what I know you deserve. I’m sorry, okay?”

“It’s okay. I’m going to work hard and pay it all back to you, I promise.”

“You don’t have to pay us back at all.” He said, loosening the hug to look at her in her eyes. “Just promise me that you’ll do this for you and you’ll make yourself happy.” She nodded before giving him another hug. 

“Good,” The two separated from each other and he patted her on the shoulder. “Pad Thai for dinner?” She smiled.

The rest of her vacation went well and when she returned back to her shared apartment she was more determined than ever. She threw herself into school harder than ever. She even picked up extra classes during the summer and internships that counted for credits. This was the determined person she was when she was eighteen years and just a freshman, ready to prove her parents who doubted her wrong. Now, she just wanted to make them proud. She wanted to make herself proud.

Now three years have passed. She barely thinks of the past and is mainly focused on the future. All the work she put into herself led her to this moment, relaxing with her friends on a wednesday evening in hers and Sojung’s apartment and barely paying attention to a movie that was playing. 

“Do any of you have plans this weekend?” Hyunjung asked nonchalantly, paying more attention to her phone in one of her hands. She sat on a dark brown leather couch that had seen better days. Scratches from the time Sojung got her new coffee table and paint from the times when Sojung believed that her new style of painting was splatter. Hyunjung’s other hand was entangled in Soobin’s hair as the girl laid in Hyunjung’s lap.

“Nope” Y/N responded, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth. Sojung sat up in her chair in exaggerated shock at her friend. 

“Really? That’s surprising. You always have somewhere to go. It’s almost like you don’t like living here.” She teased as Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Haha, whatever. My plans got cancelled last minute so I’ll be home.” 

“Aww, Joshua cancelled on you?” Sojung wined and pouted before a pillow came flying her way. The two other girls in the room started laughing and Sojung broke out in a full cackle.  

“Omg, shut up.” Y/N crosses her arms before she sinks back down into the large black bean bag she was sitting on. Sojung at the other end of the living room takes the pillow, and places it between her and the back of the comfy chair she’s lounged on, that was also as worn and painted on as the matching couch.  

“What? Don’t be mad that you boyfriend cancelled on you.” 

“First off, he;s not my boyfriend.” Y/N says defiantly before continuing,” And he didn’t cancel, the restaurant we were going to go to was full of reservations.” She returns to her own phone trying to pass the sentence off casually. But Sojung was too quick.

“Ooo, a dinner date.” Y/n immediately geared up to throw another pillow at her.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Soobin says as she gets up from the couch, she grabs the pillow out of Y/N hands and tosses it on the couch. “No more throwing pillows,” She wags her finger at Y/N, scolding her. 

“Yes, mom.” From the corner of her eye she can see Sojung sticking her tongue at her.

“And leave Y/N alone.” Soobin says as she turns her gaze to Sojung who quickly fixes her face under her friend's gaze. Y/N took the opportunity to return the favor, sticking her tongue out and shaking her head at Sojung. 

“Yes, mom.” Scrunching her nose, Sojung replied, still watching Y/N as she teased back. 

“Besides, Y/N is already going to have a boring weekend now that she won’t be seeing her boyfriend.” Soobin said a wide shit eating grin plastered on her face as she walked out of the living room into the kitchen. Sojung and Y/n both gasp and Hyunjung starts laughing with Sojung following behind.

“You guys are the worst!” Y/N groans out loud, her head falling back in fiend frustrating with her friends. 

“Uh huh, do you want anything from the fridge?” She calls out from the kitchen her head in the refrigerator. 

“I'll have another cooler.” Hyunjung says, still on her phone.

“Me too and those barbeque chips in the pantry”

“Can you grab the pint of ice cream in the freezer for me?” Sojung requested 

“Yeah.” Soobin says as she starts to gather all the snacks.

For what seemed like the first time that evening, Hyunjung looked away from her phone. She nodded over to Y/N to get her attention. “Anyway I asked because I have these tickets to an art gallery that’s having their grand opening up this weekend. I can’t go because I’m going to a different event with a client but maybe you two could go.”

“Wait, a gallery?” Sojung perked up. “Is it the one in Gangnam with the really fancy glass and metal sculpture in the front of the building?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. You want to go?” Hyunjung offers. 

“Nope.” She replies which shocks the two girls in the living room. Sojung kicks her legs up on the side of the armchair and lets her head hang off the other side. “I sent in my art to them for a gallery spot and they rejected me.” Y/N snickered as it was very like her friend to hold grudges like that. 

“They were so blunt about it. Didn’t even try to complement my work, just a cold hard ‘no’” She grimaced at the memory of the gallery director’s email from a couple of days ago. “ ‘Sorry, our gallery is for exceptional artists. Your work doesn't meet the standards set by our sponsor.’ Like what kind of bullshit is that?” 

“Damn that’s harsh.”  Y/N replied feeling bad for her friend. Hyunjung could only shrug, she knew the place was quite uppity but had never expected anything like that. 

“It’s fine. When I become famous, I’ll buy the whole place out and fill it with street art and tell them to shove their standards up their ass.” 

“You’re such an anarchist.” Y/N quipped.

“Thanks.”

“You better hope you sell a painting for millions then,” Hyunjung added, back on her phone. “ I heard the sponsor is some chaebol family, apparently they come from a long line of money. But it’s like they’ve popped up out of nowhere. They’ve only been in the social scene for the past 4 years maybe. It’s even rumored that they are descendants of royalty but I don’t believe it.”

Soobin returned to the living room with everyone's drinks and snacks. “I mean it’s possible. There are some famous people and Idols that have royal blood.” She says retaking her seat next to her girlfriend. 

“Yeah,” Hyunjung agreed, cautiously. “ But something is off about them. But I don’t like gossip too much so that's all I know about them. People do vouch for them so they have to be legit enough.”

After that the girls conversation died down as they actually paid attention to what was playing on t.v. The night came swiftly, Hyunjung and Soobin left for their own apartment after watching two more movies. Sojung retreated to her own bedroom, for some night painting because she ‘works better under the gaze of the moon’ as she likes to put it. Y/N could hear rock music softly permeating from her closed door. She decided to let Sojung be and decided to stay in the living room, She couldn’t find something that she wanted to watch, seeing that it was close to 11:30 at night. Nothing was on except reruns and talk shows she didn’t want to watch. So, she settled on drama she had no interest in to fill the empty space as she scrolled through her social media feed on her phone, but there was nothing in particular catching her attention. 

She had texted Joshua a little while ago letting him know about the gallery tickets that she got. He agreed with her that it would be a fun time and planned when to pick her up on saturday. This would be the fifth actual ‘date’ that the two have gone on. Since the both of them had very demanding jobs, him doing his residency in a different department, the two barely had time to meet up with each other. Most times opting for coffee breaks between long shifts and after work trips to the bar for a couple of drinks. The pair hadn’t actually officially started dating, putting the past three months into a weird relationship limbo. But it was nice and slow enough for Y/N. The people who she had dated recently wanted a relationship, with commitment and labels but Y/N was way too busy for that. She wasn’t ready to jump head first into something that she wasn’t going to put her hundred percent into.

Joshua on the other hand was seemingly perfect. He understood where she was coming from and respected that. Honestly, he felt the same. When the two of them had met it was during his commute to hospital. Joshua had woken up late and was running late for work. The last train that left the station before 7:30 am was the last one he could catch if he didn’t want to be more than ten minutes late that day. So when he saw the train approach almost filled to the brim with passengers, he pushed his way into a subway car, apologizing the whole time, and ended up right next to Y/N. The whole ride he didn’t say anything but took note of her scrubs. He waited until they both had gotten off the train before he introduced himself. After that the pair decided to get to know each other better. He understood her hesitations when it came to being with someone. He wanted to accomplish so much before he settled into something like a committed relationship, like waking up on time. But there wasn’t a reason why the both of them couldn’t enjoy each other's company in the meantime. 

The two had exchanged goodnights and now Y/N was laughing at a meme video on twitter, when there came an abrupt knocking. It was loud enough to shock her a bit and pull her out of her own little world. She sat up not sure where it had come from. It wasn’t uncommon to hear their neighbors bang on the wall especially when Sojung had her music playing so late. She was about to relax again but the knocking came again. This time she knew it came from their front door. She got up from her seat and walked over to the tan painter door. She leaned forward to peak through the peephole unsure of who was on the other side of the door at this hour of night. 

On the other side she saw the vast long hallway of her apartment building but no one was standing there. She came out of the peephole confused. She surely heard knocking coming from this door. Maybe, she just thought it was the front door or maybe it was their neighbor above them. Their young teenage kids loved to wreak havoc in the building whenever they got the chance. Sojung had a vendetta against the son named Minsoo after he pulled a particularly mean prank on her a year ago. Just to be sure, Y/N slowly turned the knob of the door, not wanting to alert any waiting teenagers outside, before swinging the door and being met with the same view of the empty hallway. 

She sucked her teeth in annoyance. At least if she had caught the kids, she could have properly complained to their parents but they were nowhere in sight. She turned to close the door but before she could close it completely she heard a pained groan echo throughout the hallway. She opened the door again, this time taking a step out and in the left hand corner she could see a slumped over body. It was a man, dressed in all black with their head down. She had made the conclusion that he was blackout drunk but why come to her door. At first she wanted to go back inside but her morals as a healthcare professional kept her in the hallway. He started to stir around and groan out incoherent words, she attempted to talk to him, seeing that he hadn’t completely lost consciousness.

“Sir, can I help you?” She tried to get close enough to him to hear him but not enough, unaware of what he could do to her. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” A worried look painted itself across her face.

The man on the other hand mustered up the strength that he could to speak as clearly as he could, pain wracking though his body. 

“Y/N, I need your help.” 

She froze, the feeling of her own consciousness floating above her. Her eyes went a little blurry as she tried to focus on the situation at hand. His voice became instantly recognizable, even after not hearing it for three years, and threw her thoughts into a flurry. She never thought she’d see him again and definitely not like this. 

“Changkyun,” She spoke breathlessly. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

[imaginationintowords]

Not Good Enough *part four*

Avengers x Reader miniseries

word count: 2019

Plot: Reader has her first day at her new job, and then gets a surprise visit.

Part one Part two Part three

[a/n: Sorry it took so long, school got really busy. But I am officially done with this semester. Hopefully this was worth the wait! The next part will be the last! Also if I forgot to tag you please let me know!]

Tagged: @firstonetoleave @nerdy-jelly-art @const4ntines @coldfacedwarf @mrs-hemmo1999 @l0kisbitch @lula132 @thetimidsarcasticcat @1awesomeash @littlephoenix-🔥 @xxxxnovagalaxyxxxx @inumorph @babymintuniverse @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @dottirose @cremextart @im-just-another-monster @izzy10718 @delicately-important-trash @daniellajocelyn @damn-me-to-hell @leenat23 @universaljasmine @thevanishedillusion @animegirlgeeky @taddlitu

Permanent tagged: @purplesatinsheets @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict @want-to-watch-it-burn

__________________

My alarm went off at 6 a.m. I started with a shower and got ready for my first day at Oscorp.

I looked at the clock and it read 7:15. I had to leave in the next 5 minutes if I wanted to get to Oscorp by 8.

I walked into the kitchen to find my grandma pouring coffee into a travel cup for me.

“Good morning.” she smiled handing me the closed cup.

“Morning.” I smiled back, taking a sip of the hot caffeinated beverage.

“How’d you sleep?” she asked, taking a sip of her own coffee.

“Okay. I’m anxious to start the day.” I tell her.

“I’m sure everything will go smoothly.” she positively reassures me.

“I better go if I don’t want to be late.” I tell her grabbing my bag and heading for the door.

“Have a good day.” she calls out.

“Thanks.” I call back opening the front door to be greeted by an orchid on the floor.

I picked it up and placed it on the table by the door. I grabbed the card, it read:

“[Y/N], I know I’m the last person you want to see/talk to. Please we need to talk. -Tony.”

I pocketed the card and left, closing the front door behind me.

The best thing for me to do is to push Tony, and the rest of the Avengers to the back of my mind.

I got to Oscorp with 5 minutes to spare. I sat in the lobby waiting for Norman.

“[Y/N]!” I heard a few minutes later.

“Hi, Mr. Osborn.” I stood up, shaking his hand.

“What did I say, call me Norman.” he greeted.

“Right. That’ll take some getting used to.”

“Come on, let me show you around, before I take you to the lab.” he smiles.

Norman spent the first hour giving me a thorough tour of Oscorp. Things like where the cafeteria is at, restrooms, certain offices, etc.

“Now time to show you where you’ll be making the magic happen.” he says as we get into the elevator. He presses the 8 button.

“Floors 8-12 are the lab floors. 8 is where you’ll be stationed mostly at.”

The doors open and we’re greeted by a completely blinding floor. Everything is white with blinding fluorescent lights. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust.

“We are currently focused on making clean reusable energy accessible to everyone. Starting here in New York, then nationwide, then the world.” he optimistically explained, walking in front of her.

I take a look around. A lot of the equipment looks similar to what we were using at Stark Industries. But I know for a fact that Oscorp is at least 3 years behind Stark.

“Obviously with your help we’ll be able to achieve that goal faster.”

“I hope so.” I wearily say, trying to keep up with Norman’s quick pace.

“Oh I know so.” he remarks, glancing towards her.

“I’m sure you know all about this type of technology because of Stark.” he says.

“Uh not really.” I hesitate.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t work in the clean energy department at Stark Industries.” I lie, “I was basically Tony’s assistant.

It didn’t feel right telling Norman what I did with Tony. Whatever happened between Tony and I won’t be a proper excuse for selling Tony out. He’s been working on all of this far longer than I’ve been involved.

"Tony really wasted your abilities on just being his assistant." Norman scoffs.

We walk into another portion of the lab to be greeted by a man around my age.

"And here he is. [Y/N] this is Doctor Brendan Octavius. Brendan this is the brilliant [Y/F/N]. You two will be working alongside together." Norman introduces us.

"Nice to meet you." he extends his hand.

"You too." I politely say.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it." Norman nods his head, and goes off on his own way.

"So we're working on a new clean energy prototype to show to the governor."Brendan explains to me.

"Oh. The governor?" I questioned.

"Yeah. He wants to look for other ways to provide reusable energy for the smaller urban cities."

"Oh. That's amazing." I try and genuinely say.

Little does he know the governor has already signed a huge deal with Stark Industries. It was supposed to be announced next week, on Earth Day.

"When Tony Stark announced his clean energy initiative, Norma was so upset. Rightfully so. Stark has way more help due to his daddy's money." he rants on.

I wince a little at that comment.

"Everyone only agrees with him because he's Iron Man." he rolls his eyes, as he continues his rant.

"Well, tony has been working towards this for ten plus years." I hesitantly say, starting to get slightly offended.

"He does have a lot of leeway because he is Iron Man, but his credibility is reliable." I continue, watching Brendan's reaction become even more sour.

"You work for Oscorp now. Are we going to have a loyalty issue here? Because from what I heard, Stark had no problem getting rid of you." he glares at me, I can just feel the hatred and anger coming off of him, scaring me a bit.

"No. There won't be any issues." I tell him, slowly backing away from his intense glare.

What the hell have I gotten myself into.

For the rest of the day I remained quiet, just following closely to what Brendan was doing.

By the end of the day I just wanted to go home. Throughout the day Brendan kept talking down on me, as if I had no clue what he was working on. He put me down at any chance he got. I just wanted to get home and have big glass of wine and a hot bath.

As I walk down the hall towards the apartment, I notice someone sitting down in front of it. As I got closer the person notices me.

"James? What are you doing here?" I ask the man, as I stop in front of him.

"Hey. No one answered, so I thought I would just wait." he said pointing to the door, as he gets up from his spot in front of it.

"My grandma goes to bingo on Monday nights." I tell him.

"Can we please talk?" he asks, pleading with his eyes.

"Sure. Come in." I say opening the door and letting him inside.

I drop my stuff on the kitchen counter and let out a sigh.

"Want anything to drink?" I ask grabbing the wine and glasses.

"No thank. I'm good." he says eyeing my pouring the wine almost to the brim of the glass.

"Rough day?" he asks, sitting down on a  stool at the counter.

"Rough month." I say taking a sip, but keeping eye contact with him.

"About that. That's what I came here to talk about."

"You can save the schpeel. I heard Tony and Steve when they came by yesterday." I tell him, taking another sip.

"You didn't hear the whole thing. Plus it's me, I wouldn't bullshit you." he tells me.

"Wouldn't you? Steve is your best friend."

"Yeah, but he's fucking idiot. Him and Tony. They handled everything all wrong. I wasn't there, but from what I heard you didn't deserve that kind of treatment." he says.

"But didn't I? I fucked up that mission badly. People got hurt. You got hurt." I tell him, feeling my eyes start to tear up.

After the day I had, there was no use in hiding my emotions, not around Bucky.

Bucky and I had gotten close this past year, since he got back from Wakanda. We were just enjoying each other's company, no added pressure. Our job comes with enough of that, you don't really want that to follow your personal life.

We provided each other with a safe haven. We went to each other whenever we were having a hard time. Free of judgment. Nothing physical had happened between us, besides the occasional falling asleep in the other's bed after a bad night.

There was an unspoken rule between us, there was no rush. Bucky was just getting used to the modern world, after coming back from Wakanda. He was still adjusting to the modern New York life. We also respected each other too much to rush it. It'll happen when it does, and I'm willing to wait as long as James needed.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes at the sight of tears, he come sup to wrap his arms around me. I graciously accept them.

"It's not your fault." I sniffle.

"I should've noticed sooner you weren't home. We all just assumed you were avoiding us." He said, rubbing my back gently.

"I was." I sniffled some more, his grip getting tighter.

After a few moments, I calmed down and pulled away from Bucky.

"I'm good now." I tell him, looking up at him.

"You sure?" his hand loosely on my hips.

"Yeah. I'm good." I reassure him, giving him a smile.

"Can we talk about what happened? If you're up for it. I just need to understand." he softly says.

"Sure. Lets go sit." I say leading him towards the couch.

We sat down a cushion apart, facing each other.

"What don't you understand?" I ask, my arm draped on the back of the couch.

"Why you left." he says, also draping his arm on the back of the couch.

"Because I'm not cut out to be an Avenger. I'm the weakest link." I tell him.

"Bullshit. Where'd you get that from?" he says flabbergasted.

"Everyone."

"What? No one thinks that. No one has ever thought that before. " he says confused.

"Don't lie. You don't need to protect my feelings anymore." I roll my eyes.

"Come on [Y/N], why the hell would I ever lie to you. We don't do that." he stresses seriously, "Tony and Steve were complete dicks with how they treated you. You never deserved that."

"Yes I did. I fucked up, and critically injured the team." I tell him, feeling myself becoming aggravated.

"Stop. Stop it." he says, becoming more frustrated.

"That was not your fault. You lost control, but the type of powers you have are still developing. You haven't even had your time abilities for a year. They're still new to you. Tony and Steve knew that. It was a chance they wanted to take, you were even unsure about it, you told them that. What happened back there should've been on them. You can only hold time for so long before you get tired. But that doesn't make you weak, it just means you're still learning. The same happens with Wanda, doesn't make it her fault." Bucky explains.

"Please believe me when I say, this wasn't your fault. Believe me when I say, you aren't the weakest member of this team. You're one of the strongest and smartest. Whatever, or whoever made you believe otherwise is completely wrong." he passionately says.

I was overcome with emotion, and couldn't help the tears falling down my face.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of this alone. I'm sorry you ever had those thoughts." he begins, gently wiping the tears off my face.

"We need you [Y/N]. I need you." he says, looking me in the eyes. I look into his to see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"What if I lose control again? What if next time it costs someone's life?" I say.

"What if you don't?"

"I'm scared." I confess to him, choking up.

"Aren't we all? Isn't that what makes us human?" he softly says, rubbing my hand.

"We need you [Y/N]." he says holding my hand.

"Please, can you come back home?" he says, the words getting caught in his throat as he fights back his tears.

"Okay. Since you asked so nicely." I joked, cutting the tension.

"Thank-you." he lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head, smiling so big. He scooted closer and gave me a hug.

"I'll just have to go down to Oscorp tomorrow and let Norman know I'll be leaving." I tell him, as we pull apart.

"While you do that, I'll head back to the compound and let everyone know you're coming back." he smiles, my stomach and face dropping a little.

"It's going to be okay. Trust me. Everyone is going to be over the moon to see you. I promise." he reassures me, I nod in response.

"Can you do me one favor?" I ask him.

"Anything."

"Can you please stay the night with me?" I ask.

"Of course." he smiles, standing up from the couch, and holding out his hand. I smile grabbing it as he pulls me up.

"Lead the way."

[rigginsstreet]

what changes would you have made in st season 3? briana essay writing skills COMMENCE :)

*REALISTIC changes lol

first of all, in the words of the late great biliam hargrove: nobody tells me what to do.

second of all, the fucking stupid ass music number that got my mens killed is absolutely going the fuck in the garbage can where it belongs

i really didnt have a lot of problems with this season as far as what everyones individual plots where. like, i LOVED joppers arc (until the fucking end), i liked jancys (though i feel like they really didnt do a lot in terms of it. i thought we were gonna get way more in terms of the sexism nancy faced at work. it just... felt weak. and all we saw from jonathan was him developing his pictures. i just needed... more)

im not interested in the kids so whatever they were doing i couldnt care less about BUT i will say will shouldve been more involved with the mindflayer stuff like... besides the whole neck tingles business (mindflayer asmr) he really took a back seat and that just.... doesnt make any sense to me.

instead of that fuck ass billy and karen nonsense that time shouldve been used at the beginning to actually SHOW us max and billys development and where they stood as siblings rather than just shoehorning in her crying about him once he was possessed. 

and dustin being away from the party still makes no sense to me. i know everyones got a hardon for steve and dustins bromance but im not one of them and that entire subplot in itself was the most boring thing to me this season like i truly could not have cared less about that about that either. and honestly now reflecting back on it.... the whole notion of a secret russian facility being under the mall and these dopey ass kids just stumbling into it is so hokey but whatever

billy and eleven absolutely needed more scenes. i was fully expecting to have like... a deeper connection between the two of them. i was expecting for us to get eleven going into billys mind and being able to actually talk to him and interact with him and us seeing that billy was struggling trying to fight this thing inside him that he has no fucking clue what it is and hes so scared. speaking of which, i was also expecting to see scenes of billy at home struggling with trying to keep this a secret because he has no idea whats happening to him. like... dacre fucking crushed it with all the acting he did showing us how billy was struggling in such subtle manners, dont get me wrong. but i think we needed more of that on a bigger scale for his ending to have any actual payoff.

also the fact that you have billy being possessed, living in a house with an abusive father, and we got NOTHING of that ?? what ??? bad call. BAD call.

and the season needed more focus on the fact that billys just a kid in all this. hes a PERSON. i’ll keep ranting about this but the fact that NO ONE tried to figure out a way to help him.... it was literally just “is he the mindflayer? welp. gotta kill him now i guess”. so gross. like even the people who hate billy and are still like “are we supposed to feel bad for him?” I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT HE’S A HUMAN BEING AND HE DOESNT DESERVE TO FUCKING DIE JUST BECAUSE HE WAS MEAN SOMETIMES! THATS NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS TIFFANY! but anyway

the fact that steve just rammed into billys car and left him to die in a fiery blaze.... is so out of character to me? lmfao like literally all you needed to do was have steve ram into his car and then notice its billy and have a typical steve harrington freak out like “oh my god. OH MY GOD?” wouldve loved to see SOMEONE struggle with the fact that yeah everybody hates billy but like... you cant just let him die ??? lmfao that is truly the most infuriating part of this entire season. just...nobody fucking cared. even if only for max’s sake. nobody fucking cared it was her brother going through all this. trash. all of them. it also wouldve been nice to see billy apologizing to steve and lucas in his final moments too like nobody rushed down to console max? lmfao okay.... fake ass friends

im also upset that hopper dies after being away from eleven the entire season like.... ugh. like i said, i loved joppers arc and their scenes (along with billys) are by far and away my favorite this season but...it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth the way hopper went out. i mean, his death overall does feel wrapped up like i think the duffers handled it a helluva lot better than they handled billys but...the fact that hopper was the first parent el had that treated her right and took her in and gave her a home and stability... and they barely had any time together leading up to his death... i dont like it.

also the whole flayed plot went pretty much nowhere like..... all these people get infected or whatever just to be led to their deaths to turn to goo and like.... oh... kay ??? the trailer made it seem like they were some type of zombie agents idk i expected something more chaotic to take place. what we got just felt anticlimactic to me.

this season as a whole just left me wanting more. and not in the “oh i cant wait for season 4!” way. but in the way “couldnt yall have done something else with your time?” way. i think this season really couldve benefited from having one or two extra episodes. or maybe even just longer episodes. AND WITH THE TIME YALL DID HAVE WE DIDNT NEED BILLY AND KAREN AND FUCKING MUSICAL NUMBER THE END

OH! and the mayor kline shit.... what? that shit felt like it went nowhere too like...that definitely needed to be explored more. i dont even remember what is reasoning was to be in bed with the russians. wasnt it just about money? like.... he wasnt even really involved ? the fuck was that about. no bueno. 

but most importantly billy should have been at scoops to taunt steve about his sailor uniform if the duffers had just given me that i could forgive everything else but they didnt so here we are the end

AND I STILL MAINTAIN STEVE SHOULDVE BEEN MORE INVOLVED IN BILLYS PLOT CONSIDERING HE WAS LIKE THE ONLY PERSON BILLY REALLY INTERACTED WITH IN S2 BUT OH NO, THE DUFFERS CANT LET PEOPLE KNOW GAY MEN EXIST. imma stop.... imma stop.

[trashxqueen]

Friends to Lovers (Richie Tozier x reader)

Request - Hello lovely! I just read your headcannon about dating Richie Tozier and it was sooooo cute! I loved it! Could you do an imagine about a friends to lovers with Richie? Like maybe they’re in high school and they’re both pining after each other but they don’t know the feeling is mutual so the losers set them up on a blind date and they both (Richie mostly) get all blushy and cute? Thank you sooo much and I hope you have a wonderful day! 💕

(A/n) Thank you!! I tried my best but I still haven’t written a lot of fanfiction so it’s kinda crappy sorry. I tried to write Bill’s stutter as best I could but I didn’t really know how so I hope it’s okay. Also I turned into a thing where like the reader doesn't know who shes going on a date with but Richie does, I’m sorry im terrible at this lmao.

(n/n - nickname)

y/n’s pov

Since day one, Richie Tozier and I have been the best of friends. We’ve done everything together and it’s always so much fun, between our weekly Saturday movie nights to waiting till the last possible moment to do science projects. He taught me how to play videos and ride a bike. We are inseparable.

The only problem is, I’ve been in love with him the entire time. Even though we aren’t together, he’s always made me feel special and happy. The only person that knew of my crush was my close friend Beverly Marsh.

“n/n you need to tell him how you feel! You obviously both love each other, he’s just too shy to say anything,” Beverly said sitting on her bed while you sat on her floor.

“Really Bev, Richie? Too shy? Literally two weeks ago in lunch he stood up on a chair and screamed the chorus of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” cause Eddie dared him to, he’s not too shy to do anything he just doesn’t like me like that.”

“You’re full of shit y/n but fine. If you truly believe he doesn’t like you then whatever. But I can’t stand to see you upset so I’m gonna set you up on a blind date tonight.”

“Please don’t, I’m perfectly happy ignoring my problems and also tonight is my movie night with Richie.”

Beverly rolled her eyes, “You can miss it just once, he’ll understand, please y/n, I won’t stop bothering you about this.”

“Fine! But I’m not going to like it and if he tries anything I will punch him.”

“That’s my girl! Now let’s go pick out some nice clothes for later.”

…

Third person pov

Richie sat at home thinking about what he was going to do without y/n tonight. He’d just gotten a call from her saying she was going to have to miss movie night because she was going on a date; he was upset. He had been in love with her for so long but never thought she loved him back so he always kept quiet about it.

The doorbell began to ring so he went up to answer it given he was the only one home. As he opened the door, Bill, Ben and Eddie walked in and immediately began talking.

“Okay so you’re gonna take her to that Diner on Ford street and what the hell are you wearing you’re not wearing sweatpants on a date what is wrong with you-” Eddie began ranting before Richie cut him off.

“Eddie what the fuck are you talking about, I’m not going on a date with anyone I don’t even like anyone.”

“B-bullshit Richie, e-everyone knows you’ve liked y-y/n for f-forever,” Bill retorted, “A-also we’ve arranged for y-you to go on a date w-with y/n tonight.”

“Yeah but she doesn’t know it’s you, it’s gonna be a surprise, Bev planned it,” Ben stated.

“No, there’s no way I’m doing this! She doesn’t even like me, there’s no point and I’m just gonna embarrass myself and she’ll end up hating me,” Richie protested.

“Yeah well tough shit Richie. Beverly told Bill she liked you and she’s already agreed to the date. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t know it’s you, she’ll be so happy when she sees you! You have to agree, how’s she gonna feel when she gets there and no one else is there huh? She’ll feel like shit, you have to go, you both have been pining after each other for years now so you’re going, end of story.” Eddie stated before walking into Richie’s room to look at the clothes in his closet.

“Fine, but if she hates me after this, this is on you guys,” Richie finally agreed walking into his room.

Ben and Bill smiled at each other before following Richie, getting him ready for later tonight.

…

y/n’s pov

“Oh my god n/n you look so cute!” Beverly exclaimed smiling.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. ( http://pic-collage.com/_tJGdT93e ) I did look pretty but I’d rather be wearing sweatpants and sitting next to Richie binge watching movies together. There was one time he put his arm around me and I melted.

“Thanks Bev, but do I have to do this?”

“Damn right you do. Just trust me I promise you’ll love it.”

I rolled my eyes and signed, “Fine, let’s go.”

…

No one’s pov

Beverly and y/n pulled into the parking lot of the dinner and y/n got out nervously.

“Remember he’s wearing black dress pants, a white button up shirt, black tie and he has glasses,” Beverly said, “Have fun girly!”

y/n walked into the diner looking at all the tables looking for her “mystery date” until she settled on a familiar face.

“Richie is that you, why are you here?” She said looking at her best friend.

Richie looked up nervously blushing with some red roses in his hand.

“H-hey y/n, you look beautiful and I am here as your date,” he stared at y/n blushing furiously.

She looked at him in shock before smiling and sitting across from him.

“These are for you,” Richie said handing her the roses.

“Thanks Rich but, what’s going on?”

“Well,” Richie looked down at the table before continuing, “I really like you y/n, actually I think, wait no, I know I love you and I have been in love with you for forever. I-I guess Bill and Beverly knew and wanted to set us up. And oh my fuck you really do look so pretty tonight holy shit. You’re so kind and smart and funny and I’ve never loved anyone before but I know I love you. You- you’re my world and-”

y/n cut him off by placing her hand on his and looked at him softly.

“Rich, calm down you sound like Bill, I love you too and I’m so fucking happy to hear you feel the same, I’ve loved you since the day I met you,” y/n stared into his eyes before glancing down to his lips.

He looked back at her and began to smile before leaning in placing his lips on her own. It was a gentle soft kiss, that made the two of them melt.

“n/n will you be my girl?” Richie asked after pulling away.

“Of course I would,” she replied.

“Oh hell yeah!”

Richie and y/n looked across the diner to see Beverly, Ben, Eddie and Bill sitting together staring at the new couple. Eddie face was extremely red realizing he just blew the four’s cover and they all got up and ran out of the diner.

The couple returned their gazes to each other before laughing.

“Well this is a great start to a first date,” said the boy.

“It certainly is,” y/n replied lacing her fingers with Richie’s smiling softly at her new lover. The blushing couple leaned back in for another kiss before spending the night together.

[rosyerim]

nct 127 as your best friend

taeil

is literally a grandmother

you’re the person he goes to everytime he doesn't understand something slang wise

“y/n,,,mark called me the goat,,,is that good or bad?”

“today jisung called me a bro but i’m not his actual brother, should i tell him?”

also needs you to explain memes to him

“johnny just sent me a picture of a trashcan and said mood should i be concerned?”

“why do you keep sending me kermit pictures, i do not get it”

but he’s the cutest bean alive

hugs you all the time!! hello hug, goodbye hug, i appreciate you hug, all the hugs!!

has the voice of an actual angel

he gets super shy when you ask him to sing but will belt out whatever song you want

also plays the guitar whenever you visit him at the dorms or at practice & attempts to each you

he encourages you to sing with him, whether you can or not not doesn’t matter, he likes it when you two are screeching the lyrics to your favourite song together

loves eating your food, even if you can’t cook, he appreciates it!!

scolds you if you don’t do your homework or leave dishes in the sink, he is a lil granny hehe

johnny

you call him beanstalk so he calls you jack, even if you’re a girl he doens’t care lol, together you’re jack and the beanstalk

sends you memes throughout the day when he has time, he just feels like you have to see them or else he’ll combust

he always messes up your hair whenever you say horton hears a who

makes you tune in to nct night night everynight & will literally quiz you on what he was talking with jaehyun about

always giggles when you hype up his singing voice and dancing

he did’t spend all that time in the dungeon for nothing

whenever you two go out and get separated you just shout “oh daddy” and he’ll find you

almost died laughing when you worse his shoes before, he’s literally bigfoot

has the ugliest photos of you on his phone but he says they make him feel better about himself

but then you just send him his predebut pics and he shuts up real quick lmao

never ask his opinion on your outfit unless you want him to just

*inhale* johNNYS FASHION EVALUATION *exhale*

3am meme wars

literally kills you with his pun, doesn’t matter where you are

johnny, holding up a pie: “hey y/n you’re such a cutie pie!”

johnny, with a bag of candy: “these may be sweet but you’re even sweeter!”

johnny;"if you were a booger i’d pick you first”

johnny; “h-” “say another word johnny seo and i would fucking cut you”

you’re highkey done with him but you don’t know what you do without him

and vice versa <3

taeyong

sometimes you want to smack him because he keeps overworking himself!! & you want him to rest!!! but he doesn’t listen

 so most of the time when he has a day off you just go over to the dorms with takeaway and spend the day watching that anime he hasn’t shut up about

but he loves how much you take care of him (he won’t admit it tho)

he usually comes to you if he has a problem or just needs to rant & you listen every time!!

he loves when you send him random pictures of dogs you see because he misses his own dog ruby

he laughs so hard when you attempt to rap his parts in songs, esp in chain like,,,im convinced taeyong has gills because of how fast he raps

calls you randomly in the middle of the day just because he wants to hear your voice (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

cutest little man alive, if you’re happy he’s happy, always giggles at your puns even if they’re bad

also brings you with him when he gets a piercing, so he can squeeze your hand 

pouts when you say any member is better looking than him as a joke

“but i’m the center,,,(ಥ﹏ಥ)“ then he brings out the puppy dog eyes so ofc you take it back

he’s also super caring towards you and will fight anybody who makes you sad

yuta

sassiest man alive & will roast tf out of you

but its okay you roast him back so your entire friendship is just insulting each other

but nobody else can insult you, otherwise yuta gets angry >:[ & vice versa

judges you when you wear his jumpers because only he can make it look good

makes you watch anime with him but without the subtitles & unless you speak japanese, you’re going to be bored for ages

tries out shitty pick up lines on you they’re for winwin

all the members aid yuta is like a hot pouch so he lets you cling to him during winter or when it’s cold because he doesn’t want his bestie getting a cold smh

then’d he have to take care of you rip

comes whining to you everytime winwin rejects him but also wont accept your love???

teaches you little phrases in japanese and dies when you repeat them but butcher them 

also asks for your opinion on his outfits & piercings

“y/n should i go with the cross earrings or hoop?”

“neither you’re too ugly”

“not as ugly as you”

you two fight like cat and dog but deep down he’s a total softie for you aw

doyoung

another sassy man but only roasts you if he feels you’re being annoying

whenever you’re sad tho, doyoung makes you your favourite meal & mAYHaps you cried at how thoughtful he is

treats you like you’re his little brother

he pushes you off the couch because he find’s your reaction funny rip

but whenever he goes away on tour he always comes back with hella souvenirs just for you

doesn’t let you near jeno because “you’ll taint him!!” but he gives jeno your number as an emergency contact???

he’ll randomly text you that he’s coming over then show up two seconds later & you two end up blasting bazzi all day while he bitches to you about the other members lol

when you cook, even if you’re good or bad, he’ll always be hovering over your shoulder and telling you that you’re doing something wrong, jokingly

then he’ll eat up the whole dish & tell you it was horrible #justdoyoungthings

judges you silently whenever you bring up an ex he never liked but still lends you his shoulder to cry on if you get upset

if you ever call him sad he’ll be over to yours in about 5 seconds with your favourite snack and let you pick movies for you two to watch

sends you random clips of him singing during the day & gets all bashful when you say you love his voice

you got him a toy bunny for his birthday and despite him saying he hates it, he brings it with him whenever he goes on tour & sleeps w it :’)

jaehyun

marine boy

glares at you every time you call him jeffery

you always ask him wtf is his skincare routine but he just laughs & says “perish :)”

sings you to sleep with his voice actually from HEAVEN because you called him when you had a bad dream & he’s hella smug because you trust him that much(▰˘◡˘▰)

doesn’t get annoyed when you poke his dimple, he’s find its cute how you find it cute which you find cute and you’re both just C U T E

encourages you to tune in to nct night night but will highkey be sad if you don’t 

you two always stay up super late talking to each other on the phone because his voice is so soothing and he thinks the same about you until one of you end up falling asleep like (´﹃｀)

he has so many screenshots of you fast asleep on facetime and he sets the funniest one as his lockscreen, so when hes away he can look at it & remember you’re there for him (⺣◡⺣)♡

lets you borrow his jumpers but only if you really need it like he’s not giving you his tommy hilfiger jacket unless you forgot your own jacket and its -374873 degrees outside lol

also p cuddly with you since he’s so comfortable around you

like you’d just be chilling at the dorms and he’ll lay his head down on your lap & you’ll start running your hand through his hair as he dozes off

or when you two go out to eat he’ll loop his arm your shoulders whilst you walk & wouldn’t even bat an eyelid

you two get mistaken for a couple so much you end up just shrugging it off because lol their opinion doesn’t matter

your friendship is important to each other all thats all that really matters

winwin

only likes getting dotted on by you

when the other members yuta smother him with love hes just ( ¬_¬)

but when you do, he’s like (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

he attempts to teach you his wushu skills and his cool flexible tricks but you just end up dislocating something lol

he ends up switching to chinese whenever he rants to you & unless you speak chinese you’re basically listening to an angry winwin for about 20 mins

but so long as he gets it off his chest you don’t mind :))

do not let the boy near a kitchen he will literally set it on fire

for your birthday he tried making moon cakes but ended up burning his hand (つ﹏<。)

but you still appreciated the thought & he bought you take away 

he gets a bit down sometimes because of how little lines he has & sometimes he thinks he’s voice isnt that good but you reassure him every time that his voice!!is amazing!!! sm just need to get their shit together sm more like smh

he loves it when you speak to him in chinese, it makes him feel so at home awe

likes to fall asleep on you because you’re the most comfortable thing to him

doesn’t matter where or when because to him

your lap= free real estate

you two also get mistaken for a couple sometimes but winwin just nods hugs you close to prove his point & you two always die from laughter afterwards

he always listens to you though so whenver winwin is moody, taeyong calls you to give out to him so he goes from (-`д´-) to (￣^￣)ゞ real quick

winwin loves you & you love him too

jungwoo

softest boy 

whenever you meet up with him you don’t say hi, you just do his part from boss then he walks away from you lol

you always encourage him to speak up, esp. when he’s with a bunch of people

since he has a habit of copying what people say you say the most complicated words in english

“superkajafrjalisticaxosjdapefwfnls”

“super fuck off y/n”

your entire friendship consists of either eating at your place or eating out at some random all you can eat buffet

super supportive of you even when you do stupid things, you look over at him and hes just d(￣▽￣o) “you do you y/n”

sends you selfies of him so you can fawn over his beauty & tell him which pose suits him best

claps like a seal whenever you say something funny but gets pouty when you make fun of it

super affectionate with you & glares at anybody who comments on it, like jungwoo just wants to be close with his bestie, is that wrong?

is lowkey protective of you like if he thinks lucas is tryna make a move, jungwoo will swoop tf in and whisk you away to the safety of his room

you two end up cuddle under the blankets watching his favorite movie & he ends up dozing off

does aegyo whenever you get mad at him so you can’t really stay mad, he’s just too cute

mark

always goes to your first whenever he writes a rap because he values your opinion a lot & you’re honest with him

lots of inside jokes which just consists of you two giggling to each other randomly

needs you to tell him to take a break because of how much he works

if he doesn’t listen you threaten to feed him sour candy

but you’re super duper proud of your canadian bestie, when he preforms on stage you’re deadass in the crowd like

“thats my bEST FRIEND!!!(´⌣`ʃƪ)“

pouts when he tries to call you & you don’t pick up 

he wanted to tell you about the fluffy dog he saw a minute ago!!

but texts you nonetheless & you wake up to 36 messages describing the texture of the dogs fur and how it barked

but you loved how weird mark was, the weirder he was the more comfortable he was and it was just so cute

doesn't care if you steal his jumpers, he has about 300 but will not let you touch his caps, they are his prized possessions 

he doesn’t even try roast you because of how many memes of him you can send back 

you always tell him how much you miss his ramen hair 

he laughs at anything so you could literally cough and he’d cry from laughing but thats what makes him so endearing

you call him seagull boy to annoy him & it works lol

gets shy when you watch his dance at practice & ends up making mistakes but nobody is mad about it hehe

you also refer to him as long ass ride boy or sing sang sung boy 

he threatens to block you irl 

tries to teach you how to play guitar but you end up purposefully messing it up and he cringes so badly lol

but mark is your best friend and nothing will change that

haechan

he is That Bitch

always comes to you first when he has tea on the members

“y/n bitCH, mArk actually flirted w winwin infront of me, i’m cancelling him smh”

random dance competitions at 4 in the morning are a must, he always ends up beating you （πーπ）

also snaps you selfies of him randomly because he wants you to hype him up

which you do obviously

also texts you almost everyday & keeps you updated on what hes doing

“i’m at a cafe w my hyungs tday!!”

“omg i have a shoot @5am​ i’m going to d i e”

“come over and make me ramen pesant”

buT he looooves when you baby him

before you leave the dorms after hanging out, he makes you tuck him in & give him a lil smooch on the forehead goodnight awee ( ˘ ³˘)

but would die if you ever told his hyungs s you swear not too plus it’s good blackmail for you hehe

you always say “ohmgod its michael jackson hehe” whenever you two meet up and homeboy loves it so he moonwalks over to you

he’ll randomly challenge you to singing competitions of who can hit the highest note haechan and whose voice will break first yours

also cuddles with you all the times, you’re his personal teddy bear & will snap back at the members if they try comment on it

“you’re just mad nobody will let you touch them mark”

the most savage best friend but only lets you baby him aw

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Angst

“Sun Hee?”

The tone of his voice told you the call was really unexpected or an unwanted one, the confusion on his features told you your first option was the right one. However, there was a soft tension you could see in Jinyoung’s body that gave away that whoever was calling was a bother to your husband.

Jinyoung, genuinely surprised about finding his phone in your hand, looked at you faking confusion, his body growing tense as he stared at Sun Hee’s name on his phone’s screen. His mind had stopped working as soon as he had heard her name coming out of your lips, he had always been really careful with you using his phone or with him leaving any trace of Sun Hee in his stuff. Jinyoung simply couldn’t believe he had made such a stupid mistake, what was he going to say now? Would you believe him?

“She is a dancer that is having trouble with the choreography of our new song” He blurted out before he could even think about what he was saying once again. 

“Why is she calling you though?” You asked purely confused, you weren’t accusing Jinyoung of anything you just didn’t understand what was going on. With only a towel hanging low on his hips Jinyoung walked down the corridor and stood next to you pulling up his hand so you could give him back his phone.

“Let’s find out” He picked up the call as soon as you handed him the phone. Jinyoung didn’t walk away to talk, in fact, he sat down on the chair you’ve been sitting on five seconds ago “Watch those pancakes babe, I don’t want our kitchen to burn” He told you with a boyish smile and a playful wink that washed away any uneasy feelings you got when you saw another female’s name on his phone.

You weren’t the type to get easily jealous but sometimes Jinyoung got too much attention from other females and you, being the hormonal pregnant mess you were right now, were a bit too sensitive about that. As you turned around to face the mix of pancakes and the hot pan that was ready to start cooking your breakfast you heard Jinyoung swearing under his breath, probably not really feeling like dealing with whatever business he had with that dancer. Jinyoung, on the other hand, was trying really hard to not start shouting at Sun Hee as soon as he heard her voice on the other side of the line.

“Hey Sun Hee, can I help you?” He asked politely, he kept his eyes on your back as he watched you cook. He felt a tight feeling on his chest, if lying to your face hurt, talking with the woman who used to be his lover hurt even more. Actually, Jinyoung felt like if somebody had taken his heart out of his body and squeezed as hard as they could “Can you be quick? It’s my free day and I have some warm pancakes waiting for me” Jinyoung was trying to tell Sun Hee that he was at home without you noticing.

“Don’t be rude Jinyoung” You scolded him, looking back before returning your attention to the pancakes that were almost done. Carefully, you placed them on a plate before pouring some more pancake mix on the pan.

“Pancakes for breakfast, how sweet” Sun Hee mocked being sarcastic, Jinyoung could imagine her rolling her eyes “Are you free this afternoon? Can you come over?” She asked eagerly

“I told you guys I was going to take my day off today” Jinyoung sighed running his fingers through his wet hair “Can’t it wait?”

“Babe you know I can’t, I really need you” Jinyoung’s eyes moved up to your figure quickly, relief washing over him when he saw you hadn’t heard her needy words.

“I will, fine” He finally accepted sighing “It will only take 30 minutes though, I need to talk about a couple of things with you, later” Before Sun Hee could say anything else he hung up and tossed his phone on the table

Kind of surprised about his passive agressive gesture you turned around forgetting about the pancakes momentarily to give him your undivided attention. “You have to return to work later?” You asked with a sad smile, knowing your husband was tired but wasn’t able to rest for an entire day made you feel bad for him.

“Yeah. Jaebum wants to discuss something with some of the dancers” Jinyoung lied looking down at his phone before he stood up to return to the bedroom and finally get dressed.

“Jaebum?” You asked kind of confused, frowning a little “Then why did that girl call you?”

“Because Jaebum was talking with the main choreographer so he asked Sun Hee if she could start calling people”

“I didn’t know you guys were so close with your back up dancers” Even though the words that left your lips sounded kind of like an accusation, it wasn’t. You were genuinely confused about you not having recognize this before. In fact, you thought this was the first time Jinyoung was talking about their back up dancers with you.

“What are you saying (Y/N)?” Jinyoung looked at you, suddenly getting defensive for some reason. Your frown only became deeper, why was he acting that way all of sudden?

“I’m just confused” You replied honestly, making Jinyoung scoff, he was seriously getting mad out of nowhere 

“There is nothing to be confused about” Jinyoung said looking into your eyes “She just called me since Jabum is busy to tell me that I have to go to the studio this afternoon” Sighing he turned around and walked down the hall shaking his head.

“Fine, I’m sorry” You apologized still not having an idea of what you could have said to make him so mad “I didn't mean to make you mad”

Times like this made you wish your boyfriend wasn't idol. You knew Jinyoung loved music and that he was happy being a singer but the way he became stressed whenever a comeback was near was kind of frustrating, it was extremely tiring to be tip toeing around him for days. At least, that's the only reason you could think of to explain the way he was behaving recently, the stress and the way he sometimes snaps out of nowhere was normal on a comeback period.

That's why you couldn't be mad at him. Thanks to Jinyoung you had the life you always wanted, you owed him so much.

How genuine of you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come oooon, it will be fun!" Yugyeom insisted for the umpteenth time "I promise you we are not that busy (Y/N), we wouldn't be inviting you if we didn't have time"

The guys were thinking about having a movie marathon at the dorms after dinner. Willing to get you out of your place, Yugyeom came up with the idea of inviting you over and since the rest of the members were okay with it he called you as soon as he had a chance.

"I can't watch horror movies, it's bad for the twins if Im stressed or something like that" You half lied, watching scary movies wasn't going to affect your pregnancy but you really didn't feel like going out tonight. You had this uneasy feeling on your chest that wasn't letting you relax and it was certaintly annoying how you couldn't figure out what was bothering you "I'm just not in a good mood today"

Yugyeom's smile fell from his lips when he heard your words, his mind instantly went to Jinyoung's situation "Did anything happen?" He asked quietly, playing with the hem of his hoodie.

Yugyeom felt bad everytime he had to lie to you, it was extremely difficult to not tell you everything he thought your husband was doing but like Jaebum said, it wasn't his relationship and things could backfire on him. What if he told you and you, for some reason, ended up thinking he was just jealous and wanted to break your relationship? What if you thought he was the bad guy instead of Jinyoung? He didn't have the right to tell you what was going on but he was 100% sure that lying to you wasn't the right option either.

"No it's just" He heard you sighing, Yugyeom could easily tell you were upset "Jinyoung is usually so grumpy, you know? He has these mood swings that are driving me crazy, anything I say triggers him and he gets mad out of nowhere" Even though you were speaking fast to hide how weak your voice sounded Yugyeom noticed it "I just want you guys to make your comeback already, get over all the performances you all have to do because then, the normal Jinyoung will be back"

"It will all be okay silly" Yugyeom told you with a sad smile on his lips "You'll see how everything goes back to how it used to be soon, we're under a lot of pressure now and we sometimes are unable to control our tiredness and stress" Honestly, he was feeling like the worst person in the world for defending Jinyoung but if that's what he had to do to calm you down, he would do it as much as you needed it.

"Yeah, I really needed to hear that, thanks" You let out a relieved breath, leaning back your head against the couch, silently waving your hand to Jinyoung who kissed your cheek before heading out of the apartment. Thanks God he hadn't been paying attention to your conversation, Jinyoung seemed to not like the fact that Yugyeon listened to you rant about your problems whenever you needed it.

"Now get dressed, grab your coat and in five minutes there will be a car there to pick you up" This time Yugyeom wasn't asking you to join, he was ordering you to go to the dorms "We have a bunch of chocolate, popcorn and ice cream waiting for you here and we'll also order some pizza"

"Aaaaaaalright, but make it ten minutes, I have to shower"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time you were standing outside of the dorm the idea of coming to simply spend some time with the guys didn't seem that bad. Alone at your place, you would have only been sitting down upset thinking about what could you have done wrong this morning to make Jinyoung so upset. He didn't talk to you since that conversation and that made you slightly dissapointed because you loved talking with him about random stuff when he was at home, the both of you never ran out of things to talk about.

Sighing you shook your head "I came here to have fun not to be pouting" You muttered to yourself right before you knocked on their door.

As if he had been waiting for you to knock, Youngjae opened it, quickly smiling when his eyes met yours "(Y/N)! Get inside, it's so cold today!" He reached out and grabbed your hand, gently pulling you into the entrance. "Give me your coat, I'll hang it" With a silent thanks you handed Youngjae the coat and walked inside quietly, it wasn't your first time in the dorms but it sure felt weird to be there without Jinyoung.

"Wow, you're so fat!" Bambam's genuinely surprised comment made you laugh softly, Mark who was standing next to him hit the back of his head.

"Wow, you're such an idiot!" He muttered, mocking the tone Bambam used

"I didn't mean it in a bad way though" Bambam pouted "You know that right? It's just she's so...Her and now she's so...Huge"

"Of course she is huge, there are two kids in there Bambam" Jackson appeared by your side, placing a bowl of popcorn infront of you so you could grab some "How are you?" He asked sweetly, Jackson could be the loudest yet the sweetest person in the world.

"I'm alright" You shrugged "My feet sometimes get swollen and it kind of hurts when they move around" You explained resting your hand on your belly "But nothing I can't deal with"

"They move?" Bambam looked confused

"Want to feel it? They are moving now"

"Can I too?" Jackson looked at you with puppy eyes, it was just impossible you could say no to him when he was looking at you like that.

You nodded quietly taking Jackson and Bambam's hands to place them down on your stomach, exactly on the places you knew they would be able to feel your twins moving around. As you said, the two of them moved making both males scream like if they had been watching the scariest movie in the world.

"That's so creepy!" Bambam shouted terrified, Youngjae and Mark were on the floor laughing.

"It feels like, when you watch those alien movies and you see them having little aliens inside-"

"We are not aliens!" You replied trying to sound offended, just joking around.

"You definitely are!" Bambam still looked shocked, you couldn't help but laugh too.

"What's so funny huh?"

Yugyeom and Jaebum joined your conversation. At first you were just looking at their reaction while Mark and Youngjae explained what happened but then, Jinyoung's words echoed in your mind.

"Jaebum wants to discuss something with some of the dancers”

Wasn't Jaebum supposed to be in the same meeting as Jinyoung? Why was he infront of you then?

"I thought Jinyoung would come with you" Youngjae commented looking down at you, your frown deepened even more.

"Didn't you had a meeting with him?" You asked looking at Jaebum confused, Jinyoung couldn't have lied to you right?

"A meeting?" Jackson frowned looking at you too

"Ah, Jinyoung wanted to discuss some stuff with me" Jaebum cleared his throat, not being able to come up with something that would explain his absence

"Tell her, she won't be mad" Yugyeom forced him, trying to act as if he knew what Jaebum was talking about.

"What is going on?" Bambam asked, saying your thoughts outloud.

"Jinyoung is in a meeting with JYP" Jaebum didn't know what he was talking about but that was the first excuse he had come up with "He wants to rest some months after you give birth to be there for you" He reached up to scratch the back part of his neck nervously "He doesn't want to leave you alone with two babies, specially the first months when you are trying to get use to it, you know?"

"He wants to what?" Mark frowned

"That would make sense actually" Jackson shrugged walking away to sit down on the carpet that had lots of pillows and blankets on it.

"Why didn't he tell me?" You didn't know how to feel. On one hand you were kind of happy because stopping his job for a period of time to help you get use to having two babies was a really sweet thing but, on the other hand, why hadn't he talked about this with you first?

"Stop" Yugyeom poked your forehead smiling, You didn't notice how it didn't reach his eyes though "You came here to relax not to get even more stressed so let's watch that movie now"

"You're kind of bossy today, aren't you?" You asked jokingly, letting all the guys pull you away from the door and into the living room where they had reunited all the pillows and blankets that were in the dorm.

"Shut up or I won't share my popcorn with you" Yugyeom and you took one side of the couch, Jaebum sat next to him and the other three guys got on the carpeted floor.

The atmosphere was really nice, they all treated you like if you were part of their family even if your husband wasn't around.

Although no matter how much you tried to focus on the movie and the silly comments Bambam and Yugyeom made, your mind kept drifting towards Jinyoung and the secret he had kept from you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Too far away from the dorms, wearing sun glasses and a hat that covered most of his face Jinyoung was standing infront of Sun Hee's apartment. He had rang the bell two seconds ago and he was now waiting for the female to let him inside.

Suddenly the door swung open and without giving him a chance to say anything, Sun Hee gripped Jinyoung's hoodie and pulled him into her apartment. However, when she leaned in to press her lips against his, Jinyoung turned his face not wanting to kiss her.

"Jinyoung, what the fuck?" Sun Hee frowned, clearly offended by his gesture. She moved away from him, giving the male some space as she awaited for an answer.

Jinyoung slipped his hands inside his pant pockets and let out a soft sigh. He walked into the living room, slowly turning around to face her. When Jinyoung's eyes met her lips, the words in hus mind got easily out.

"Sit down, we have to talk about us"

[lovelyyficss]

i don’t like this and i need to get it off my chest

i really fucking hate this. i’m not even sure what to call this feeling, but i know that i hate it.

i’ve been friends with this girl for 3 years now. we’ve bonded so many times over bts and, although it might sound stupid, i wouldn’t be friends with her if not for bts. in the past, i’ve been so grateful for her, but now, looking back on it, i’m not sure what for.

i come from a very fortunate family that provides me with so many incredibly opportunities: opportunities that i will never ever take for granted. my friend, on the other hand, comes from a not-so-fortunate family. of course, i have absolutely no problem with that (like what kind of person has a problem with someone because of their economic status??! that’s fucked.) as a result of this, though, i always offer to pay. i always offer to take her places with full expenses covered. i always make sure she’s okay and i’m so incredibly grateful that i’m in a position to do so. it’s the right thing to do that, in my mind. however, only to a certain point.

right now, i think the best word to describe how i’m feeling is used. i’m not sure how else to say it. i know what this sounds like. i know that it sounds like i’m saying “oh poor me i don’t want to pay for my poor friend anymore” but that’s NOT AT ALL what i mean. whatsoever. what i mean is that doing shit like that and not getting a simple thank you or anything like that is getting on my nerves.

she texted me asking me if i wanted to go to this exhibition about bts, to which i said yes, of course. but her asking me if i wanted to go wasn’t her asking me if i wanted to go. it was her asking me if i could take her. fine, whatever. i still say yes and talk to my my parents because one of them will have to go with us. i text her again and say that my dad can take us and that we should get tickets. my dad tells me that he really wants to go on saturday because sunday is his real day off and my sister was coming home that day from a trip and he wanted to be home for it. so i text my friend telling her that we should go on saturday. and lo and behold, saturday ‘doesn’t work for her.’ naturally, i ask her why. she doesn’t give me a reason and his says that sunday works better for her. i was completely idiotic and agreed to sunday, dragging my poor dad along with us. she was acting like a brat for most of the time, to be honest. she’s prone to say complete bullshit and then get upset when you call her out for it. she absolutely refuses to admit she’s wrong. for most of the car ride, she was going on and on abt some kpop guy and, both my dad and i were very bored of hearing it, so i told her that we should talk about something else and she got defensive.

like ???? sorry that i’m telling you to be quiet when my dad, in his car, in his free time, with his money, is taking you to this exhibition and is tired of hearing abt this shit???? it was really rude and put the worst taste in my mouth. i was trying to move through the exhibition at a moderately fast (not actually fast tho i saw everything lmao) pace because i felt so badly for my dad who just wanted to be home watching the women’s soccer game. so i told my friend that we should get moving and, again, she got defensive. she had the worst, brattiest, most venemous tone and said “god, calm down. i’m coming. sorry that i’m enjoying the exhibit, jeez.”

mind you, that was the first and only time i told her to hurry up. she was acting like she wasn’t there only because of me and my dad wanting to do something for her. i really wanted to punch her but it truly wasn’t worth the energy because shit exactly like this has happened many times before. she catches an attitude for NO REASON when she’s in no position to catch an attitude. it might sound unfair to some thay im expecting her to act well because i’m treating her to something but like, seriously? that’s exactly what i expect. i’m doing something nice that she approached me asking to do, and that’s what i get?

oh, and then there’s the time that i brought her to a bts concert (YES A BTS CONCERT) with 2 other friends, too, and we were sitting in a row. at some point, i moved to the seat closer to the stage because my bias was performing serendipity. i didn’t think much of being in that seat because it’s just a seat but, after the song was done, she literally came up behind me and like boxed me out. i made a face like “wtf?” because like... wtf.

and her response was, in a bitchy tone, of course, “i was in this seat first.”

YEP. AT A CONCERT THAT I TOOK HER TO AND PAID FOR THE TICKETS TO. i really wanted to say “you know that you’re only here because of me, right?” but i’m way too passive for that (i mean i’m literally writing a tumblr rant instead of confronting her.)

and those are just two examples of her taking me for granted and being a bitch regardless.

but wait there’s more!

something i’ve noticed about her personality is that she is so incredibly arrogant. for no reason. she always puts herself above others. she always thinks she’s the hardest working person at school when one of my eyelashes probably works harder than her whole being combined.

that’s really it i just had to put that out there.

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful