#2022 was one of the worst years of my life

[youngpettyqueen]

🤡, 😈, and 💔!

🤡 "What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?"

the entirety of like a dog, but specifically-

"Hawkeye gives Frank a ‘go on’ look. “He started it!” Frank accuses, the picture of petulance, “He bit me!”

For any single other adult person in this godforsaken war, Henry would laugh at such an accusation.

But this is Hawkeye.

He looks at him. He hopes the ‘please for the love of all that is holy tell me he’s lying’ is obvious in his eyes. “Pierce.” He says.

Hawkeye suddenly finds a loose thread on his sleeve very interesting.

“Pierce,” Henry says again, with feeling, “Did you. Bite. Frank?” He can’t believe he’s asking that of a grown, adult surgeon and not of one of his children. The temptation to drink is rising.

Hawkeye shrugs. “I warned him!” He exclaims, “I told him ‘Frank, if you don’t stop pointing in my face, I’m gonna bite you.’ And he didn’t stop pointing in my face.”

“So you bit him.” Henry fills in the blank, remembering a time when this kind of disappointment was reserved for when one of his girls put chewing gum in the other’s hair.

“So I bit him.” Hawkeye echoes, nodding, with not a hint of remorse."

and-

"“You tasted bad.” Hawkeye informs him.

“Go soak your head.” Frank grouses as he shoves past."

made me laugh very very hard when I put them down. I reread this one whenever I need a good laugh

😈 "Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?"

ending the second chapter of and miles to go before i sleep on a cliffhanger of the emotional high point of the Hawkeye and BJ kiss. I did that purely to be mean and make people yell at me

proceeding to take a month long break from that fic due to god slapping me upside the head with writer's block was NOT part of the plan and I genuinely felt so bad for leaving people hanging on that but my god the writing machine really just BROKE

💔 "Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?"

both leave your roles at the door and what remains, but ill give the shoutout to leave your roles at the door for this one because the reason it breaks my heart is it resonates with a personal area for me for this bit specifically-

"“It should- it shouldn’t’a been him-“ Radar whimpers, “Not- not him, not- ’s not fair-“ Margaret combs her fingers through his hair where it pokes out of his cap as his voice cracks into another sob, “He wasn’t- h-he wasn’t supposed to die, I- I loved him, I love him, he can’t be dead, he can’t-“"

in February of 2022 my Nonna passed away. my Nonna and I were very close, she moved in with my family when I was 8 years old as my Nonno was living full time in the hospital at that point and it wasn't good for her to be alone, and she lived with us for 14 years. she played a large role in raising me, and I loved her and continue to love her very dearly. needless to say, her death, though expected, completely wrecked me

Radar here acts much the same way I did. this bit above specifically is how I felt. she wasnt supposed to die, I loved her, I love her, she cant be dead. I wrote Radar to feel the way I did, and sound the way I sounded- like a little kid who didnt understand. Radar cries like a child here, because I cried like a child. I wrote this from the experience of my own grief, which I sometimes still find myself sitting with, and it broke my heart but... in a good way. it felt cathartic. it felt healing

and then I inflicted the sadness on everyone else cause im an evil fic author and I like making people cry and yell at me for making them feel things

[bucketspammer4life]

looking through my old messages is so traumatizing i want to go back in time and kick myself in the stomach like what possessed you...

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[caleohateclub]

you know its bad when i start wishing it was 2020 again!!!

[joycrispy]

I don't know if I have any capital-T Thoughts about Doctor Who that anyone would consider worth reading, but I sure do have a lot of capital-F Feelings about Doctor Who.

I feel compelled to share them, so watch out for that, at some point.

[missholoska]

2022 wasn't a great year for me, but having no empty months despite everything feels like an accomplishment :'>

also I technically achieved my art goal from last year since I did manage one single comic \o/ and I fully intend to do more, I've got a lot of things I'm excited to draw this year! ✨

[crimeronan]

getting taken very seriously by medical professionals continues to astound and perplex me. i haven't been the subject of this much doctor attention since my whole Autoimmune Leg Deformity thing like two years ago. even though all my ER imaging showed nothing seriously wrong, i'm like, getting cold called by my caseworker (apparently i have one of those) so she can Firmly Insist i make a doctor's appointment. then she's like "and tell them it's an ER followup so the staff get you in ASAP, otherwise they'll schedule you out til february" and i'm like wait, ER followups DON'T wait two months minimum for care??? wild. i talked to my usual friendly pharmacist about my symptoms tonight and she went "D: poor thing.... :(" like yeah okay sure that's me. pobrecito.

and like... it's all very understandable because the symptoms are centered around my lungs and chest, which docs Do Not Fuck Around With, but i'm also like. no you guys i PROMISE i'm totally fine. i just live like this it's FINE. it's all good please calm down. Chill Out,

me, like every other goddamn day on this site, for the past Several Months: i feel like i'm actually literally dying i feel so bad it's unreal. at this point i hope i do die i'm so tired i feel so bad i feel so bad did i mention i feel bad. death is not JUST the only solution but ALSO the only logical end to this story. i am withering. i am decay incarnate

doctors, nurses, pharmacists, administrators, etc: yeah something's mad wrong with you. WHY did you leave it this long?? we need to diagnose and treat this immediately???? jesus??

me, discovering impostor syndrome for the first time in my Life: oh NO. NOOO NO OH GOD. NO I'M SORRY I LIED. I MADE IT ALL UP I WASTED YOUR TIME I'M ABLE-BODIED AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. I MADE MYSELF AUDIBLY CHOKE ON THE AIR WITH MEASURABLY LOW O2 ON PURPOSE TO GET ATTENTION I'M SO SORRY IM SO IM S-

[helpimstuckinafandom]

Happy new year y'all! I want to thank Baldur's Gate 3 and Dan & Phil - the year had me in the first half I'm ngl but y'all came in swinging and pulled me through

[yourheartinyourmouth]

I keep dreaming about him. It hurts.

[eggmeralda]

that era last year when I was psychosomatically intolerant to pretty much everything I ate and I was just obsessively reading every truffula flu blog but I couldn't think about it if I was out of the house bc it gave me too much serotonin that I'd get anxiety and I'd have to go home and then I became agoraphobic and also wouldn't eat bc I was too paranoid so I'd be living off like bread and crackers every day and then I couldn't sleep bc I was so Deprived of everything but it was still a really fun time bc of truffula flu <3

[spaceaudio]

boston2 anniversary is kind of crazy

[estcaligo]

in conclusion, year in review💀💀

⚡️caligo's longest and saddest tag lol 🐊💖⚡️

[lusus]

pretty upset w myself for not being able to do an art summary this year cause ive been pretty successful doing them the past few years and i just hardly did anything this year. but. whatever it is what it is i guess.

[the-squeege]

Here’s my 2022 art summary! I’m actually quite happy with all the drawings on here this year, cant wait to do this again next year :)

Here are my gross old ones, almost didn’t wanna post the 2020 one dear lord 😭

[justabunchofdragons]

o... .. .,,, ! !!! i am very happy with where i am in this moment

[mwagneto]

(the magneto anon back here again) ummm could you tell me... how did we independently picked up shadowhunters again at the same time.... tho I am reading the books (and it also means I'm never coming off anon because this is shameful) but still,this is very odd coincidence

HELP we got the shadowhunters curse at the same time lmaooo <3 but oh my GODDD the books😭😭 good luck to you genuinely....... I've only read them once all the way back in 2017 but they still haunt me💀 I'm lowkey curious what I'd think of them now that I'm 1) not a child 2) fluent in english but. i dont think i wanna do that to myself. i fr hope you have fun tho revisiting shit like this is always such an experience