#2022 was one of the worst years of my life

[youngpettyqueen]

🤡, 😈, and 💔!

🤡 "What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?"

the entirety of like a dog, but specifically-

"Hawkeye gives Frank a ‘go on’ look. “He started it!” Frank accuses, the picture of petulance, “He bit me!”

For any single other adult person in this godforsaken war, Henry would laugh at such an accusation.

But this is Hawkeye.

He looks at him. He hopes the ‘please for the love of all that is holy tell me he’s lying’ is obvious in his eyes. “Pierce.” He says.

Hawkeye suddenly finds a loose thread on his sleeve very interesting.

“Pierce,” Henry says again, with feeling, “Did you. Bite. Frank?” He can’t believe he’s asking that of a grown, adult surgeon and not of one of his children. The temptation to drink is rising.

Hawkeye shrugs. “I warned him!” He exclaims, “I told him ‘Frank, if you don’t stop pointing in my face, I’m gonna bite you.’ And he didn’t stop pointing in my face.”

“So you bit him.” Henry fills in the blank, remembering a time when this kind of disappointment was reserved for when one of his girls put chewing gum in the other’s hair.

“So I bit him.” Hawkeye echoes, nodding, with not a hint of remorse."

and-

"“You tasted bad.” Hawkeye informs him.

“Go soak your head.” Frank grouses as he shoves past."

made me laugh very very hard when I put them down. I reread this one whenever I need a good laugh

😈 "Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?"

ending the second chapter of and miles to go before i sleep on a cliffhanger of the emotional high point of the Hawkeye and BJ kiss. I did that purely to be mean and make people yell at me

proceeding to take a month long break from that fic due to god slapping me upside the head with writer's block was NOT part of the plan and I genuinely felt so bad for leaving people hanging on that but my god the writing machine really just BROKE

💔 "Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?"

both leave your roles at the door and what remains, but ill give the shoutout to leave your roles at the door for this one because the reason it breaks my heart is it resonates with a personal area for me for this bit specifically-

"“It should- it shouldn’t’a been him-“ Radar whimpers, “Not- not him, not- ’s not fair-“ Margaret combs her fingers through his hair where it pokes out of his cap as his voice cracks into another sob, “He wasn’t- h-he wasn’t supposed to die, I- I loved him, I love him, he can’t be dead, he can’t-“"

in February of 2022 my Nonna passed away. my Nonna and I were very close, she moved in with my family when I was 8 years old as my Nonno was living full time in the hospital at that point and it wasn't good for her to be alone, and she lived with us for 14 years. she played a large role in raising me, and I loved her and continue to love her very dearly. needless to say, her death, though expected, completely wrecked me

Radar here acts much the same way I did. this bit above specifically is how I felt. she wasnt supposed to die, I loved her, I love her, she cant be dead. I wrote Radar to feel the way I did, and sound the way I sounded- like a little kid who didnt understand. Radar cries like a child here, because I cried like a child. I wrote this from the experience of my own grief, which I sometimes still find myself sitting with, and it broke my heart but... in a good way. it felt cathartic. it felt healing

and then I inflicted the sadness on everyone else cause im an evil fic author and I like making people cry and yell at me for making them feel things

[bucketspammer4life]

looking through my old messages is so traumatizing i want to go back in time and kick myself in the stomach like what possessed you...

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[caleohateclub]

you know its bad when i start wishing it was 2020 again!!!

[joycrispy]

I don't know if I have any capital-T Thoughts about Doctor Who that anyone would consider worth reading, but I sure do have a lot of capital-F Feelings about Doctor Who.

I feel compelled to share them, so watch out for that, at some point.

[helpimstuckinafandom]

Happy new year y'all! I want to thank Baldur's Gate 3 and Dan & Phil - the year had me in the first half I'm ngl but y'all came in swinging and pulled me through

[kitchensinksurrealism]

that era last year when I was psychosomatically intolerant to pretty much everything I ate and I was just obsessively reading every truffula flu blog but I couldn't think about it if I was out of the house bc it gave me too much serotonin that I'd get anxiety and I'd have to go home and then I became agoraphobic and also wouldn't eat bc I was too paranoid so I'd be living off like bread and crackers every day and then I couldn't sleep bc I was so Deprived of everything but it was still a really fun time bc of truffula flu <3

[spaceaudio]

boston2 anniversary is kind of crazy

[mwagneto]

(the magneto anon back here again) ummm could you tell me... how did we independently picked up shadowhunters again at the same time.... tho I am reading the books (and it also means I'm never coming off anon because this is shameful) but still,this is very odd coincidence

HELP we got the shadowhunters curse at the same time lmaooo <3 but oh my GODDD the books😭😭 good luck to you genuinely....... I've only read them once all the way back in 2017 but they still haunt me💀 I'm lowkey curious what I'd think of them now that I'm 1) not a child 2) fluent in english but. i dont think i wanna do that to myself. i fr hope you have fun tho revisiting shit like this is always such an experience

[holyviolence]

just reflecting on my past and realizing how shit everything's been. tw for lotsa things in tags or you can just ignore and go on with ur day <3

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

seriously wondering if I'm cursed or something

[dreamlandbarnes]

f1 fic recs

a compilation of all the fics i've been reading in the f1 rpf tag on ao3! please leave comments and kudos for the authors, and check the tags before reading. sorted by pairing, and summary and word count are provided. none of these fics are mine.

if your fic is on here and you want it removed, please let me know!

charles leclerc / max verstappen

bloodsport by 140445 | 37,711 words | M

“I don’t care about then, you are here now,” Charles says. “You are on my side now.” Max is on his side. It’ll feel like that, too, at some point. Surely. Or: Max and Charles as teammates for the 24 hours of Le Mans.

such murderous and vengeful desire by foggystars | 20,676 words | E

Where Carlos’ girlfriend has her fingers crossed, keeps covering her eyes as if she can’t bear to watch, Max is focused, mouth set in a hard line. He’s leaning in, balancing on the edge of his seat. To anybody else he looks intent, focused on the screen. To Charles, he looks like a bird, poised to take wing. Like he’s about to fly right through the screen and take the steering wheel from Charles’ clumsy hands, get in there and drive the car himself. When Max Verstappen suffers a career ending injury, he pours all his effort into turning his old rival, Charles Leclerc, into a worthy champion. Five years and two world championships later, they finally decide to talk about it.

like in love with me by linearity | 7,800 words | T

Austria 2019, a two-person house party, Abu Dhabi 2021, a silly lover’s quarrel, and a stove-side morning proposal.

Anonym by additiv | 13,971 words | E

The truth is, Max finds Charles unbelievably annoying. He’s chaotic and unpredictable. He’s staring at Max across the room one moment, and in the next, seems to have forgotten he exists. He swaps clothes with people at random, whipping off his faded Gucci t-shirt in the middle of the dance floor, to trade it for some girl’s crop top, laughing and crowding close to block the view of her body while they make the exchange. When he disappears to the bathroom, Max never knows whether he’ll reappear with glitter on his eyelids, or white powder on his nose. He flirts with every person in the room, and probably sleeps with them too. He ignores Max completely, then goes home with him. He’s always gone when Max wakes up; nothing left behind, nothing missing. He refuses to stay the night, but refuses to let Max get over him. And, he refuses to let Max know anything about him.

when you cut me open by triangularity (linearity) | 44,900 words | E

Well, Charles concedes, miserably. He did die last night. A few days staying with his vampire ex-boyfriend probably isn’t the worst thing he’ll have gone through in January.

a life in your shape by weiwuxian (BreathOfDream) | 29,431 words | E

“Oh god, not you,” Charles groans, crossing his arms on his chest. The Batman visibly rolls his eyes (blue, of course, because all men that messed with Charles’ life had that in common apparently) at his reaction, but another look at Charles makes him step closer. “Yes, always a pleasure. Are you ok?” or: 5 times both Max and the Batman makes Charles' life a lot more complicated than needed + 1 time he doesn't

Frecheit by additiv | 208,723 words | E

The first time that Max heard the name Charles Leclerc was in 2022, just after winning his first WDC. Maybe it only stuck because he heard it twice in one night; first as Leclerc was announced as the 2022 F3 champion. Second, as Helmut lamented not signing him to the Red Bull driver development program. Now, Max is ready to put the newly-promoted Ferrari driver in his place. The problem is, Leclerc seems to think his place is on the top step of the podium. And he is not playing by the rules. An age-difference fic, where they never got to work out their differences as kids. 3-time WDC Max's experience of being personally victimised by baby-Charles.

in dream by 140445 | 81,025 words | E

Charles tried to figure out the dream on his own. In the morning he sat down with a cup of coffee, trying to make sense of what he had seen—he even googled it. Surely, Charles couldn't be the first or only person to dream about someone he shouldn't. But there were no search results for my professional rival is suddenly also my soulmate or soulmate dream of someone i'm not supposed to want???.  (In a world where soulmates identified each other by sharing a dream, Charles dreamt of the last person he expected.)

heart of the wind by pipitass | 13,830 words | M

There’s a slip of paper taped next to one of the doorbells — third floor, second door. It should, in theory, be the one directly across from his own. Max V. “Yes?” “Uh— hi.” He clears his throat. “It’s your neighbor. From across the street. Your, your clothes…” He doesn’t really know what to say after that. Hi, I got into a street fight with your bedsheets yesterday. Welcome to the neighborhood.

charles_leclerc ✔️ posted: 😘 by ninetqs | 11,500 words | M

Charles posts a photo with a mystery man and casually breaks the Internet in the process.

cameras in the traffic lights by c_e_1 | 9,958 words | M

Pop Crave @PopCrave • Aug 13 2023 Popstar Charles Leclerc has put his instagram on private after fans spotted Formula 1 driver Max Verstappen in the background of his vacation photos 303 comments | 1.6K retweets | 10K likes

(don't read) the last page by mintchocolatechip97 | 7,475 words | E

Max feels a light tap on his arm, and turns to see the beautiful door-opener, chestnut brown curls fluffed up on his head like he’s been running his hands through his hair. “I have been on a set a time or two,” the man says, trying and failing to wink, “but this is my first time in a writers room, so you are not the only rookie here.” He clearly speaks English fluently, but has a smidge of a European accent, which Max thinks might be French. “I’m sorry,” Max says, a little annoyed that this stranger is speaking to him as if they know each other, “I didn’t catch your name?” Several emotions flit over the man’s face, in such quick succession that Max can’t quite catch them all. In the end, he looks mortified. “Oh, I am so sorry,” he says, “This is going to sound terrible, like I am the worst kind of person, but I thought you would know who I was.” Dr. Max Verstappen gets hired as the expert medical consultant for a new Netflix show. Charles Leclerc, former teen heartthrob, stars.

all i know of love is hunger by 140445 | 28,509 words | E

Anger flares in Charles’ chest. Not the kind that he feels in the car, when he’s on Max’s tail, when they are braking late and later. The one that’s been looming over his head ever since Max announced his retirement. The one he hasn’t been able to tame until now, until he can give it a name. Betrayal.

hollywood and highland by japrufrocks | 26,730 words | E

Max had left New York a week before Charles had, seven days exactly. Max had gone to Hollywood; Charles had gone to a hospital. Now they're starring in the same film. Hollywood gives its darlings everything. It takes everything too.

straight lines (that unwind you) by 140445 | 16,330 words | E

“Do you know him?” Arthur asks. “No,” Charles decides. Because he does not. He knows Max is a mathematics major, and that he plays chess. And that he hits the gym. And what he looks like when he comes. Details.

all to play for by linearity | 49,300 words | E

Charles Leclerc is not at Red Bull to win races. He is here to win championships.

my thoughts will echo your name by witchee_writer | 38,826 words | M

“Do you think you’ll ever want to do Le Mans one day?” asked Max, glancing sideways at the man sitting next to him. Charles’ eyes lit up, a grin spreading across his face. “I think I want to win Le Mans one day.”

heart on your sleeve by nyoomfruits | 4,812 words | T

The thing about having a racing helmet that constantly displays your emotions for the whole world to see, is that you kind of get used to it after a while. These days Charles almost forgets it’s even a thing. Almost. But then he goes and falls in love.

ghost of you by nyoomfruits | 3,436 words | T

“All right, are you now finally ready to explain why four time world driver champion Charles Leclerc is currently in my living room?” Max says, as Charles towels off his hair. Charles pauses, lets the towel fall into his lap, stares at Max with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, did you say four time?”

The HR Situation by thearchercore | 3,027 words | Gen

Jacob found out many things during his first month in the new HR role - Mary and Connor from Aero Engineering were dating. Thomas and Nick from Comms got recently divorced and it's a sensitive subject. Eddie from Legal had to go to an Anger Management class but hasn't had any issues since his return. Oh, and also - Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc were fucking weird about each other. or: Charles and Max go to Mercedes and the HR Department is in shambles.

Sawtooth by nottonyharrison | 40,305 words | E

In another universe, Max rejected karting at the age of fifteen, no longer prepared to be a proxy for his father’s dream. He moved back to Belgium to live with his mum and sister, excelled at school, and eventually went on to complete a Masters of Mechanical Engineering. Now 27, after four years working for Alfa Romeo and Sauber, first as a junior performance engineer and then on the pit wall for Zhou Guanyu, he’s put forward for a job with Ferrari when Carlos Sainz is left without a race engineer thanks to the increasingly hectic F1 schedule. The problem is, Max has a crush on Carlos’ teammate. A huge, obvious, embarrassing crush that leaves him stumbling for words, face burning every time he’s within six feet of the guy. What makes it even worse is that sometimes he’s sure that Charles is looking right back.

leminiscate by weiwuxian (BreathofDream) | 27,799 words | E

Charles tries to imagine Max, on the opposite side of the kitchen. Eating bread too, like he did that first morning of the After—gross and charming. Tries to think about the way he would hold him, maybe. Of the softness of his lips, glossed by butter; and how he would laugh and push him away. His phone dings and he blinks himself awake once again.

achilles comes down by sincerelylancelot | 21,068 words | M

The World Championship trophy rests in his trembling hands, his name etched in fine gold. It isn't until he's staring down at it—his name nestled close to Max’s—that he realises his dreams have always been carved out of someone else’s pain. Jules. Max. And now, maybe even himself.

charles leclerc / carlos sainz jr

a bad recompense for your love by steviethenarwhal | 65,162 words | M

“I do not want to date you,” Charles says. Carlos’s eyes slide warily over to him. He tries to explain. “I do not date men. It would be… not smart.” “I don’t want to date you either,” Carlos says. “I do not date racecar drivers.”

translation theory by linearity | 9,500 words | E

Charles Leclerc, Ferrari’s golden boy, their Il Predestinato. He likes it up the ass and likes getting fucked by rockstars who have more tattoos than thoughts in their brains. What a fucking joke.

semiotic study by linearity | 8,600 words | E

Carlos knows. He knows what this is and what this is not. This is not romance, this is not love, but Charles makes it so easy to slip into that illusion. Charles makes it so hard, and Carlos cannot be without.

last night by venerat | 24,259 words | E

Rule #1: When you go to America, don't lose your virginity to your best friend's roommate. Charles fails Rule #1.

Good Boy by chiliconcarlos | 8,445 words | E

Really, it’s all Alex’s fault. ~~ Or: the one where Charles and Carlos want to settle the question of who's better in bed.

at the dinner table with god and my father by Cloudcollector | 4,599 words | M

There is a table in his house that knows more about him than his father. Or, Carlos and his father. And the family dinner table through the years.

win or lose (it's how you play the game) by chiliconcarlos | 18,321 words | E

It all starts because of a stupid bet.   Or: Carlos suggests a hickey bet for their '23 season, and it goes about how you'd expect.

darling by magnificentbirb | 6,579 words | T

The pet names begin as a joke.

carlos sainz jr / oscar piastri

take it or leave it by venerat | 6,771 words | E

r/relationships: My (22M) coworker (29M) keeps irritating me at work

he just turned in like i didn't exist by linearity | 36,500 words | E

Oscar doesn’t have a problem with his soulmate. It’s his soulmate who has the fucking problem.

Happy Death Race by powerfulowl (playmyace) | 28,390 words | E

Carlos gazes up at the fake blue sky. Dopey grin, contrapposto pose, head as empty as the cottony clouds above. “Look, look. Look, Piastri. It is always daylight.” Oscar imagines pushing him into the piss water canal. "Yeah, cool. Stop dying!" (Oscar is in a time loop and Carlos won't stop dying.)

when both our cars collide by buildyourfences | 8,483 words | M

It’s race day, which means his phone shouldn’t be ringing. And yet, it is. “Carlos, why are you not at the track yet? We are waiting for you.” “But–” “I sent you the updated schedule last night, please get here as soon as possible.” The call ends. He blinks down at the phone in his hand. Friday, March 1. Well, that’s not right. Carlos is trapped in a time loop. He can't stop crashing with Oscar.

at a constant speed by wisteriagoesvroom (bobaheadshark) | 11,676 words | E

“Are you close?” Oscar asks. “What does it look like?” “I wasn’t expecting it to be, uh, so…” What? Oscar wants to add. Hot? Desperate? Pathetic? All of the above? --- Or, carcar get themselves into a situationship, and it just keeps situating.

left a calling card so they would know that it was me by xxxdeerlordxxx | 6,139 words | E

Carlos continues to sit there, in the cockpit with his back to the wall, pieces of the torn advertisements raining down on him. He can see a big screen from where he’s at, the replays they show over and over, of Carlos spinning out, of Oscar driving away from the incident like nothing happened. Because of course no one believes him. But Carlos knows that Oscar’s to blame. Just not in the way people might think.

hatred cradles you by foggystars | 6,829 words | E

“You see?” Carlos asks, hanging up the phone. “He does not pick up.” Oscar shrugs, unsure why Carlos seems to think this is his problem. Just because Oscar’s his teammate doesn’t mean he knows where Lando is at all times, like some sort of twink-seeking missile. Then Carlos says, “I wait for him in here,” and nods to himself. He’s walking into Oscar’s hotel room before he can stop him, and all Oscar can do is blink stupidly at the empty stretch of hallway where Carlos once stood.

in midnight’s jaws by Springsteen | 30,806 words | E

Werewolves are fiction, the stuff of books and movies just like witches and zombies. Men do not turn into wolves, or fly on broomsticks, or raise the dead. There must be a logical explanation for the restlessness in Carlos's blood, for the waves of pain so sudden and intense it feels as though his bones are trying to break free of his body. Surely there is a perfectly good reason for Carlos to have woken in the dirt the morning after a full moon, with no idea where he is or how he got there. And surely there was a reason he turned to Oscar Piastri, of all people, for help.

pulling teeth by arboretics | 9,030 words | Not Rated

Oscar is very private, very in control. Carlos pretends he is both of those things, too. But after a late night collision in Baku 2024, things spiral between them into something straddling a game and an uncomfortable intimacy. A year on, Oscar and Lando are battling for the championship, Carlos is fighting for low points finishes, and Oscar loses his grip on the whole situation.

the better half of a good time by antimonyandthyme | 4,413 words | E

“Most guys, they look at the date.” He manages to make it sound both admiring and chiding. Oscar is very quickly losing control of this conversation. “Do you make a habit of just giving your license out? To every stranger you meet?” “Only those I really like.”

reckless attention by crescenteluce | 4,290 words | E

It’s probably on Oscar to be the bigger person here, to tell Carlos if he can’t do it sober, he shouldn’t be doing it at all. But that’s the thing about Carlos – he doesn’t exactly inspire Oscar to be the best version of himself.

george russell / max verstappen

winning mentality by linearity | 18,500 words | E

It’s not, like, a thing. It’s only happened twice, if you don’t count the time during the pre-season when Max shoved a thigh against George’s crotch, and George, touched-deprived and broken-hearted, let out a sharp gasp and came instantly. Max, looking shocked and frightened, stormed away.

cut your teeth by 140445 | 9,224 words | E

And that is the thing that brought George here. Eat or be eaten. It’ll happen either way. Maybe here, he will like the taste.

full throttle by calenmirel | 3,397 words | E

Later, Max will turn to him, meeting his gaze head on, and ask if George truly hadn’t seen him in his mirrors at turn eight, like George had claimed. He'll rub his hands on his racesuit as he says it, like he'll be rid of the phantom feeling of George's hair from between his fingers if he wipes them hard enough. George will look back at him, licking the taste of Max from the back of his teeth like he can savour it, and will reply, “of course I didn’t,” lying through his smile.

alexander albon / george russell

a feeling all brand new by ginnydear | 16,481 words | M

Alex is halfway through his sandwich when he starts to feel talkative, so he takes a sip of his tea and waits for Logan to finish chewing before he says what’s running through his mind at full speed. “I think I’m homophobic.”

nothing but teeth by crescenteluce | 25,057 words | E

“Oh, come on.” Alex says, poking George in the thigh again with his foot. “Don’t tell me you’ve never done a little-” Alex makes a complicated hand-wavy gesture that has the contents of his glass nearly sloshing over the sides. “At your fancy boy schools, a little stiff upper-lipped make-out amongst the chaps? In between rounds of cricket and fox hunting?”

carlos sainz jr / max verstappen

ease the madness by magnificentbirb | 12,231 words | M

Max signed away his soul on his sixteenth birthday.

pierre gasly / charles leclerc

a long time (maybe forever) by strongestavenger | 10,021 words | T

AITA: homophobic but only to my roommate/best friend? First of all, I swear I have never been a discriminatory person – I have lots of gay friends and my little brother is bisexual. I know that sounds stupid as hell but it’s my only defense right now. My problem is that I (Marc, 26M, straight) have a roommate (Jacques, 28M, gay), who has also been my best friend since we were kids, and I think I’ve started to feel homophobic towards him? (or: Charles needs some outside help to figure things out.)

miscellaneous / general / multi

One thousand laps of jeddah by in_in_in_in_in_in_in | 68,585 words | Gen

George feels sick for the whole ride to the track. He has no idea how he got from breakfast to the car, let alone how he shook off Alex. He knows that he said ‘for god’s sake, Alex, I’m not on drugs’ about a hundred times, even though he’s not at all sure that it’s the truth. What else could have happened to him? Did he dream the race last night?

eat them alive by linearity | 57,000 words | E

Oscar lost Lando a championship and left McLaren. There was still a year in between.

the condominium community committee by jusst_you_wait | 36,452 words | T

the condominium community - 2:36pm Oscar and Logan have been added to the chat George Hello, welcome to a group chat we have for the Formula apartment building! There are only 18 (20 now) of us so we like to keep in contact about the building maintenance and other neighbourly orders of business. I’m George, and I liaise with the building manager on behalf of all of us when there is a building specific issue rather than an apartment issue. Welcome to the building! Lando do u copy and paste that from ur notes every time Alex I bet he has it memorised ~ or, the ridiculous chat fic where the f1 grid all live in the same apartment building

temperature get to you by minieggs11 | 9,339 words | E

It’s Logan’s last ride of the night, it’s clearly two drunk tourists going back to their hotel. As long as they give him a five star rating, he doesn’t care what happens.

sugar and spice by pipitass | 10,785 words | E

“Do you know already? Who you’ll pick?” Oscar frowns. Eyes still closed, scrunched now. Sharp brows downturned, meeting in the middle of his face. “When you win.” The frown deepens for a second. Then his face releases, and he shrugs. Shuffles as he goes to lay down, kicking his shoes off before he brings them up so his toes are poking at Max’s thigh, settling in. “Someone nice.”

triple header by 140445 | 7,890 words | E

Because Oscar isn’t here with Charles. And he’s not here with Max. He doesn’t get it, this thing between Max and Charles. They look like they’re here together, share glances that make Oscar feel like an intruder—but Max brought Oscar back to the booth to sit with them. For Charles to flirt with him. As if it’s some kind of game, where Max brings back prey for Charles to take.

somebody else by piastrism | 31,252 words | E

Oscar misses the color lilac — the color of the twilight sky behind Charles as they drank wine on Sedici, and the long-faded color left behind on his hips by Max’s fingertips.

we'll take the shadows (since the limelight isn't ours) by magnificentbirb | 2,177 words | T

Lando hears the screech of tires on asphalt behind him, the distant crunch of carbon fiber colliding with a wall. He glimpses only the aftermath of the carnage—the dust and smoke, the flashing lights, the unmistakable gleam of bright red—and then he’s clear. And that’s when the seconds slow down.

possessed by light by Anonymous | 6,885 words | Gen

It is a lesson you learn alone. Or that you are supposed to learn alone. At some point you will look at yourself in the mirror and see not just flesh and blood. You will see the capabilities beyond that. You will see your body as a ladder to forever ascend, to always want more. You will see just what you’re made of—and you will realise it has to be used. You will learn not to waste it. Charles did not learn that on his own.

[heartlilith]

Solar Return Chart Observations 💖

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements in the Solar Return Chart

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🪽1st House Pluto / Pluto aspecting the Ascendent can bring immense change that year - especially if you have an Aries or Capricorn rising or Mars/Saturn in the 1st house. Scorpio in the 1st house indicates this as well but less intensely (imo). It may will be a painful process but when you look back on it, it'll be so worth it. If you take away anything from reading about this placement, please let it be to trust the process. Trust the process!!!

🪽Speaking of Pluto; wherever Pluto sits in your SR Chart can indicate where you experience the most change that year - it's where you transform.

🪽Vertex in the SR Chart can show you where fated events will take place; Vertex conjunct Venus in the 5th house can indicate dating someone who teaches you a life lesson or this person could be your soulmate.

🪽Vertex is activated in the SR chart when you meet someone with their Sun, Moon, ASC conjunct your Vertex, aka in the same sign/house. These people come into your life to teach you something. Pay attention to the house placement and aspects to see what the lesson could be.

🪽The worst year of my life was last year (2022). I had my 11th house profection year in Scorpio, traditionally ruled by Mars (modern day Pluto). My Mars in my SR Chart was in the 12th house squaring my Sun, Saturn (22 degree) and my MC. It was in a tight conjunction with Uranus and my North Node and my Moon sign was in 0 degrees. That shit sucked, I wouldn't wish that year on my worst enemy.

🪽12th house placements/signs in the Solar Return Chart can show what people say about you behind your back during the year. Sun in the 12th house squaring Jupiter could mean that people think you're overly confident in your abilities or even egotistical. Venus conjunct ASC in the 12th house could indicate that people talk about how charming and friendly you are. Scorpio ruling the 12th house could have people asking questions about you to others or trying to indirectly get to know you. Looking at aspects with this placement can indicate negative talk (square, opposition), positive talk (trine, sextile) or mixed (conjunction).

🪽12th house placements can also indicate "hidden enemies" or people secretly giving you the evil eye and praying on your downfall. Capricorn Mars in the 12th house can indicate older men or male authority figures (most likely in the workplace) wishing you bad luck that year. Sun in Libra in the 12th house could indicate that your female/feminine friends act fake to your face and talk about you behind your back. Sun here can even mean that you yourself are your own worst enemy. Aries in the 12th house could indicate that the people who dislike you take on Martian traits; can become aggressive, loud, or competitive around you. These people are constantly trying to "one up" you. Pay attention to what house the 12th house lord sits in, it can give you clues for who to watch out for; Lord in 3rd house - your siblings, Lord in 8th house - inlaws, Lord in 11th house - your social group and people in your community.

🪽Venus in the 2nd house in your Solar Return can indicate buying a lot gifts for yourself or having a partner that buys them for you (sugar baby energy). Make up, clothes, jewelry, massages, candles, pajamas, skin care, accessories, and good food can be some of the things you get.

🪽Fire Mars in the 1st house can indicate having more energy, coming across as more aggressive, gaining muscles, starting a workout routine, or obtaining prominent scars on the body.

🪽Water Mars in the 1st house can indicate moodiness, gaining the ability to stick up for oneself, an abundance of creative energy, and wearing your heart (and emotions) on your sleeve.

🪽Earth Mars in the 1st house of the SR Chart can indicate gaining patience that year and learning to take your time. It can give you sustained energy and the ability to complete long term projects/goals.

🪽Air Mars in the 1st house: A lot of mental energy that can manifest as anxiety, a lot of great ideas that could be put into motion, the ability to look at situations from a detached point of view and the ability to multitask.

🪽Moon in the 11th house: You could befriend more females this year or be especially comforted by feminine energies.

🪽Jupiter aspecting ASC - indicates a positive year ahead, Jupiter brings luck and abundance to the person's life. Jupiter here can indicate a positive outlook this year and the native could be presented with great opportunities.

🪽Neptune in the 7th house in the SR Chart can make the native more prone to manipulation. They could be the ones manipulating but most likely it's their partners or someone in their one on one connections. Take off the rose colored glasses. If it feels wrong then its probably wrong.

🪽MC Lord in positive aspect to Sun/Jupiter in the Solar Return Chart can bring positive recognition in the workplace, a raise, or a promotion over the coming year.

🪽Neptune square MC can make an individual unsure about their career. They may have a clouded sense of direction and may realize that they want to do something completely different than what they do now. That, or they could have trouble focusing at work and make careless mistakes as a result.

🪽1st House Lord in the houses can also indicate prominent themes for the year and situations that you'll need to face head on. 1st House Lord in 7th house can make you question how your relationships affect you or it could bring the realization that you need to establish clear boundaries in order to find balance. 1st House Lord in the 10th house can indicate that the native's reputation will be in the spotlight and they will put all their energy into their career for the year. Look at your aspects and assess whether you need to proceed with caution.

🪽Mars harshly aspecting 8th House Lord can indicate accidents that can harm you physically. Be careful around Mars ruled things; knives, power tools, motor vehicles, gym equipment, playing contact sports, etc.

🪽1st House Mercury or Mercury aspecting the ASC can make you more talkative for the year and able to soak up information like a sponge.

🪽Moon in harsh aspect to Mars/Neptune/Jupiter can make it hard to focus on things for the year.

🪽Capricorn Rising in the SR Chart can indicate learning a lot of lessons in the year ahead, be patient with this one because it comes with a lot of blockages which can lead to frustration and impatience.

🪽Saturn/Mars ruled profection years are the hardest to go through in my opinion but they bring the most growth.

🪽Pay attention to where your Chiron is placed in the SR Chart. It can bring up old wounds and traumas that can trigger you and throw you off balance. Chiron in the 1st house: Try to maintain a positive outlook this year, journal your experiences and remind yourself of what you're grateful for. Chiron in the 6th house: Take good care of your health and eat nutritious foods. Try to get along with your coworkers and implement self-care in your daily routines. Chiron in the 11th house: Tell your friends what you appreciate about them, don't take disrespect but pick your battles wisely, donate or volunteer to help those in need.

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[vyva-melinkolya]

hi, little corny (and much belated) new years post. 2024 wasn’t the worst year by a long shot but, i spent a lot of it frustrated and disheartened.

Before I get into some of the difficulties of the year, I wanna count my blessings and say that, the two tours i did in 2024 were an incredible experience, especially—for the first one—getting do so alongside Madeline who is an older sister to me. As far as my solo tour, the show I played in New York City was a big milestone for me. I had this weird aha moment where I was like, this room is full, and these people are here for me? I didn’t think I would see that day. Also, even though I did not put out any new material in 2024 (aside from a Blaze Foley cover), I am incredibly proud of the work that I did on “Perverts” and as always, working alongside Hayden is one of the most magical experiences of my musical life.

I work at, for better or for worse, a very slow pace, and also tend to work about 2-3 years “in advance” (for instance, the next two albums were conceptualized/had a good deal written and composed during the making of “Unbecoming” and “Orbweaving”) The 222 video, between re-shoots and a year of editing, was started in early 2022. Having “big” plans but little to show for it can give you whiplash, and make you feel like an imposter sometimes.

All this to say, breaking my laptop and losing the 222 video (right before it was finished) + a lot of logic project demos for the next albums, was a huge blow for me. I’ll say it again, if you’re putting it getting an external hard drive, get that shit right now, it was a big big lesson that I don’t wish on any other artist. Since then, i’m “proud” of myself for taking it on the chin and restarting the 222 edit from scratch (thank God the raw footage was in the cloud), though saying im anxious to finish it would be putting it delicately. The specific vision for the video is very tedious layering and coloring edits. I am extremely anxious to resume work on the next album. Another setback of sorts was the robbery that happened during the spring tour, in which i lost a good deal of the gear i’ve collected over the past decade. Was able to recover eventually and I want to give a big thank you to Jason at Fender for gifting me a new Jazzmaster. Also to Searows and Amulets for letting me borrow gear for the Portland Show.

Amid all of this, one of my biggest motivators in 2024, if i’m being honest myself, was the community here on tumblr. Seeing art of me, yal asking me questions about the music—it has really kept me going and i am forever greatful for that. I am very tired but still very determined. All encouragement and interest goes a long way, and i have very big plans for Vyva Melinkolya in the coming years, even if it might take a minute to get there.

-Angel

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[oddinary4bts]

☆last update: 17/10/2024

☆a/n: here is my new masterlist! It's going to be... a lot better than the old one hahaha. Please don't hesitate to send an ask if you want to talk. Fyi, requests are closed at the moment, so please do not send any! I always feel bad when I have to say no to your requests haha

masterlist guide

☆a for angst | s for smut | f for fluff

☆all the content on this masterlist is 18+ so minors, please DNI

☆warnings are on each series/fic directly, not here so please check them out!

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All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2022-2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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as you all know, I mostly post for BTS so here are each of the members' masterlist! In here you can find all one-shots, series, milestone celebrations (you can find the link to the prompt list for the celebrations on each one-shot) that I have written for BTS.

EMOTIONS OF THE SOUL | a, s, f | one-shot when Namjoon reappears in your life after thirteen years of absence, you find yourself unsure of what he means to you, and of what you mean to him. Anxiety reigns over you, but will it be enough to drag you away from Kim Namjoon? ➳Namjoon's instalment of the Life Goes On series

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CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION | s | one-shot Request!! Could you do 98 on the smut list with namjoon and reader? Maybe he wants to try getting fingered and is a little embarrassed because he’s normally in charge or something? Wherever your inspiration takes you!❤️❤️❤️ ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

FOREVER | a, s, f | one-shot three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again? ➳Seokjin's instalment of the Life Goes On series

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SWEET | a, f, s | one-shot Congratulations on the milestone ! Can we get a Drabble of idol Jin coming back from the military and trying to sort out his situationship with the girl he left behind when he went into the military? ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

NOW WE REIGN | a, s, f | one-shot when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him? ➳Yoongi's instalment of the Life Goes On series

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SINFUL LUST | a, s, a bit of f | series in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

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THE WORST COWORKER YOU'VE EVER HAD | s | one-shot Ooooh how about a little enemies to ? Smut with Yoongi where OC/reader makes him come his pants? Little sassy/angry/ bratty vibes? Prompt 58 from the smut list? Feel free to adjust however inspires you!! Love your work!! ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

TWO HUNDRED AND NINETEEN DAYS | a, f | one-shot Ella! Congrats on your milestone, you deserve it! Can I request this one from the fluff list, with Hobi please? 23. “I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it.” ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU | a, f, s | one-shot moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream? ➳Jimin's instalment of the Life Goes On series

CRAZY FOR YOU | s, a, f | one-shot you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse? ➳Taehyung's instalment of the Life Goes On series

THE BOY WITH GALAXIES IN HIS EYES | s, a, f | one-shot you had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours? ➳Jungkook's instalment of the Life Goes On series THE FIRST TIME | s | drabble ➳a The Boy with Galaxies in His Eyes story

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SINFUL LUST | a, s, a bit of f | series in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

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THE FORGOTTEN SPACES | a, s, f | series you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you? ➳sequel of What Was Hidden, a Taehyung fic written by @daechwitatamicrecs

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WHEN THE END COMES | a, s, f | series seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook? ➳The Forgotten Spaces' sequel

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NOVEMBER SUN | a | one-shot whenever he breaks, the november sun shines on him. and jungkook chases you across the sky - but you've gone some place he can't reach you now.

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TO GIVE A HELPING HAND | s, a, f | series ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 you’re a fan, you're untouchable, yet Jungkook finds he’s far too attracted to you.

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CHASING CARS | s, a, f | series when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

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COFFEE STAIN | a | one-shot you grief, and it’s the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.

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WHAT'S WRONG? | a, f | one-shot hii i have an angsty drabble request for jk x reader pleasee but with a happy ending :) Reader overhears Jungkook talk to his friends and mention how she’s always clinging on to him and doesn’t let him breathe sometimes and that she’s annoying because she’s too loud and energetic. When he comes back home she acts the complete opposite and tries to avoid him without letting him know what’s going on, until he realises that he actually prefers her clingy and loud🥺 Sorry if i went into too much detail ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

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THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE | s, a | one-shot A drabble with jungkook, smut 87 and angst 12 / 99, tysm 💘💘💘💘 ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

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THE COINCIDENCE OF FATE | f | one-shot Hey!!! Do u think u could make an JJK FF about two people falling in love bc of fate and coincidences? ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

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LET ME KISS YOUR MOM | f | one-shot Okay so I saw this pic and almost cried cuz he looks so sweet and happy! Could I get something fluffy about dad jk? Maybe yall went surprise him at a performance or shoot or u can make up something else just the vibes I got from this pic made me (please see the post for the pic) ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY | a, f | one-shot In that case I’ll request jungkook x oc with angst and fluff❤️‍🩹 He forgets her birthday😭😭 ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

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UNEXPECTED MESSAGE | s | one-shot

I would like to read a smut fic with little bit of plot where it involves girl x girl x jungkook. Pls there aren't many fics on this. Congrats and take care Stay healthy ➳part of a follower milestone celebration

I do not have a lot of skz fics so I don't have much to say except that I hope you enjoy it <3

ALWAYS BEEN YOU | a, f | one-shot when two estranged best friends meet again at their friends' wedding, an old spark reignites. You swear to yourself that you won't fall for Hyunjin again, until alcohol blurs the line between you two. Is it your fault if you find yourself drowning in the familiarity that is him?

and last but not least, here are my ateez fics! hope you guys enjoy these ones just as much as you enjoyed the rest <3

LOVE IS A LASERQUEST | a, s | one-shot years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?

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BE WITH YOU | s, a, f | series coming soon

you've come to the end of my masterlist. if you have any questions, or want to discuss any of my fics, don't hesitate to send an ask!