#(this might be tmi for some) girl help i think i caught something.

[minglana]

there is something evil and sinister going on deep within me (my pussy)

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

hi, i'm trying to figure out my sexuality, I feel like i'm bi but i feel that a part of me is aroace. How did y'all figure it out?

"Well, things were a little different back when I lived. Sexuality wasn't talked about much, at least not openly. I was just expected to like women and want to sleep with them, and I did, so for a while, I didn't give it much thought, even if I did notice an attractive man every now and then. It wasn't till I caught my first girlfriend cheating on me with a friend and I realized I was jealous of both of them, that I realized I actually like guys in just the same way."

"And what happened with that first girlfriend?"

"Oh, we kept dating. I just joined in whenever they hooked up. Pretended it was for her, but really, it was the best sex ever was with her. So, what about you? I know you only recently got the terms for it, but...?"

"As you said, I was only recently told that I am apparently 'aroace'. My sexuality was something that I never gave much thought to! I never understood why people got so worked up over the thought of sex, or what qualified as 'attractive'. And I was never drawn to anybody romantically, either. Though, would you mind if we got Mel to weigh in here? As she is both bi and asexual, she might be able to speak more to your particular dilemma."

So yeah, not sure I'm the best person to speak on this, considering it took me so long to figure it out myself, but I'll just share some of my story. I remember when I was really young, worrying that there was something wrong with my heart because I wasn't sure it recognized that some people were girls, and so I wasn't supposed to like them like that. But I had a hard time distinguishing if what I felt about certain female friends was different from some of my male crushes. I grew up in a very small, conservative town, so the concept of sexuality was not something that was ever explained to me, and so I just shut down that part of myself.

Skip forward to getting married at 24 and being a little disappointed I never got the chance to kiss a girl, and realizing that whenever I have a couple drinks, I can't stop staring at all the women in the bar. Eventually, I determined that I am, in fact, bi. I talked to my best friend about it (who's also bi), and she was just like 'yeah, I know'.

Now, not to get too TMI, but my sex life with my husband was never what I felt like it should be (as ridiculous of a concept it is to have a standard for how it 'should be'). A bit of context - waiting till marriage was a value for both of us, so this was a whole new world to explore. I questioned if it was due to past trauma I experienced, or if I just had low sex drive. I liked the idea of sex, but it didn't feel like this amazing thing that was integral to a relationship. I also really didn't understand the way my husband naturally reacts when he sees me naked, and I wondered if there was something wrong with me, or if I was a bad wife, for not responding the same to him. Like, I can appreciate the naked body (especially boobs, cause they're great), but I'm more enjoying the aesthetics and not necessarily having a reaction to it.

First I started to think I might be demi, since I do like the idea of sex, I have some kinks, and I genuinely want to have sex with my husband, it's just not nearly as important to me as it is to him. But then I started writing radiostatic fanfic and exploring that dynamic, and I write Alastor as being willing to have sex, despite being ace because it fills a different need for him (i.e. kinky torture time), and I realized that that was actually much closer to my own experience. And if you're curious, learning this about myself and being able to communicate the way I feel with my husband has done wonders for our sex life, and marriage in general.

I don't know if any of that was helpful at all. I can't as well weigh in on the aro side of things, except to say, what has always attracted me to a person the most, male or female, is the vibes they put off. I think romantic attraction is something that's difficult to define, but the fact that I'm able to be attracted to someone in that sense is how I land on biromantic for myself instead of aromantic.

I know this was a long post, but as someone who has only fully discovered my sexuality at 30, it's something that I'm kind of passionate about. I hope it helps!

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 6 Spoilers

No really, spoilers. 

Previously on Wandavision — Wanda told SWORD to shove their drones right straight up their asses, Vision woke up to the reality that his utopian sitcom life was in fact a dystopian hellscape, their children were extremely creepy, and Agnes was being bizarre as hell and super sus. In the real world, Acting Director Dick was a dick, and Darcy and Jimmy welcomed Monica into their sciencey weird-crime-fighting team. Monica also mentioned an aerospace engineer she knows, which some suggest may be the first mention of Reed Richards in the MCU. I have conflicted feelings about the Fantastic Four. Mostly I never liked them. But, I'm open to revising my opinion.

Oh, and also X-Men 'Verse Pietro showed up suddenly and that was fun.

Anyway. the roommate and I tried to sort out a timeline — so Monica unBlips and goes back to work at SWORD three weeks later. AD Dick tells us Wanda stole Vision's body nine days previously. That means, just three weeks ago Wanda was in the middle of a battle, lost her boyfriend, was Snapped, was then unsnapped to fall right into the middle of another battle. Lost THREE additional teammates. And then sometime in the following week found out a shady government agency had Vision's body and she probably went "OH HELL NO". Because that's what I would say. So she goes to SWORD, dents a few doors, takes Vision's body and swans off to New Jersey. Look, she's been through a hell of a lot in the last couple weeks, is what I'm saying. I don't blame her a tiny bit. But, also, I don't think she's entirely behind this.

10-year old boy plus video camera = the 90s. Obnoxious opening credits. But, you know, I kind of liked them (as a one off). WAYYY better than last week's.

It's Halloween, and *sigh* Billy is breaking the fourth wall and narrating to the camera. There's childish twin bickering as you expect, Tommy's the wild and crazy twin, and Billy's the buttoned up twin. And Pietro is passed out on the couch at 4 in the afternoon. Living his best life. He teasingly scares the boys, chases them around, and there's awkward child acting.

Wanda comes down the stairs in the classic Scarlet Witch costume, and says she's a Sokovian Fortune Teller. Sokovia was more wild than I realized.

Genuinely funny flashback to Wanda and Pietro trick-or-treating in Sokovia as kids, 'the year we got typhus'. lol. Was it the fish that gave them typhus? Or was that just a special treat? Wanda doubts this version of events, and Pietro suggests she suppressed the memory due to the trauma. This gives Billy the chance to tell the camera that mom's been weird since uncle Pietro turned up to crash on their couch.

Next it's Vision's turn to appear in the classic Vision costume. Yikes. Wanda thanks him for humoring her, and he says there were no other clothes in his closet and they have a very weird second where he's not playing along and she's not sure what to do, and then he breaks into sitcom character says something about "just kidding, i know how much you love mexican wrestling" like it's a luchador costume, and then there's some super weird flirting. TMI you two.

Meanwhile, Pietro is a large child and the kids love him, of course. So there's that.

Back to Wanda and Vision, she's ready to take the kids out trick-or-treating, but Vision says he can't go, he's on the neighborhood watch and must patrol the streets ever-vigilant for wild gangs of child hooligans who might TP trees. He's gone off-script and it takes Wanda a second to figure out how to play this. She says it's the boys' first Halloween so he has to be there. Pietro breaks up the almost argument and says he can be a father figure-type and he'll help with the boys. Vision's still pretty off-script but Wanda doesn't fight it but looks uncertain, and he goes off to protect the night — or early afternoon.

Pietro is a child hooligan and wants to go do hooligany things with the kids. Wanda says he doesn't have a costume and he grabs Billy and they speed off only to return dressed in classic Quicksilver duds. Well, cheap-looking, thrown together Quicksilver duds. I laughed. The hair. lol. Good one.

Outside in the real world. The Hex field is still kind of glowing red and making bad force field noises. It only started doing that when Wanda got pissed in the last ep. Oh, goody, it's Acting Director Dick. I've learned his name is Hayward. I don't care.

Blah blah Stompy Mc-I'm-In-Charge blah. Monica is not pleased about the whole trying to kill Wanda with a missile while she was talking to her plan. AD Dick just says "now we know who we're dealing with". Um … what? You tried to kill her and her response was to tell you to go away. Yeah, boy, she's a monster.

Darcy is there to helpfully remind AD Dick that Wanda made him look like the fool he is. ILU girl. "Hey, there he is; the guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad." Jimmy just makes a 'i'm so disappointed in you and your choices' face at him in the background.

I despise characters like Hayward. They are so tedious. Narratively they are there to incite conflict, but given the situation conflict naturally exists, surely there are other ways to bring up/drive that tension without the trope of the government heavy ready to solve the problem with the most extreme amount of force available to him. OH no! Our plucky heroes will have to find a way to save the day and fight the Man! Can they do it? Boring. It's too bad General Talbot went insane and then died; he could probably give tips on How Not To Be That Guy.

Anyway

Hayward wants to know if Darcy works for him and she's like "dunno my dude", Monica claims her, AD Dick says "which one of you is the sassy best friend" and Jimmy's like, that is quite enough Acting Director Not Very Nice Man. "There's no time to diminish your colleagues when you're about to start a war you can't win." AD Dick just wants to take out Wanda so the whole nightmare ends. Monica's like um, we literally do not know what's going on. Like, for real we have no clue. So that might not, in fact, end the nightmare, Director Murder Britches.

They argue a lot and Director Dick goes off the rails. Dude's like more unhinged than seems warranted. Unless he's just so embarrassed that he pissed himself when Wanda returned his murder drone to him, he's decided SHE MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THE GOOD OF … NEW JERSEY AND MY SOILED UNDERWEAR OR SOMETHING. 

"Captain Rambeau, you are an impediment to this mission!" Oh no! He's gonna tell her all about how hard it was to survive in a post-blip world, all those lucky blipped don't know what it was like! You just can't understand! Monica tells him not to use that as an excuse to be a coward. I'm so bored with this scene. Let me guess, the trio will have to go behind his back to save the day.

"Maybe it's a good thing you weren't here with your mother died. Because, clearly you don't have the stomach for this job." … non-sequitur much? Or is he saying she would have inherited the Director-ship (which should probably not be how that sort of agency works, let's be real). Is this scene five hours long, or does it just feel that way?

The Dick banishes the trio from his base.

"Hayward is way over-stepping his provisional authority". Jimmy Woo, you're so great. Monica says he's up to something. Yeah a tactical nuke and murder. Clearly he doesn't want to actually solve the problem, he just wants the problem to go away with a big show of macho explosions and whatnot. I suspect he might be in over his head, like he was not meant to be Acting Director, let alone Director. Also, he's a boring cliche stereotype and I loathe it.

JIMMY! I legit did not see that coming. He just pure hauls off and clocks one of the soldiers escorting them off the base, to a transport truck or something. Monica seems just as surprised for a second but then she's like "hell yeah!" and jumps in. Darcy sort of stands back and watches. lol. "Why didn't anyone tell me the plan?"

Oh look, it's my shipping container! They put the soldiers in there. Guys, it was for Hayward. Come on.

The trio disguise themselves with ponchos, which is a big step up from the usual MCU disguise of "baseball hat". That was a good bit in Ant-man and the Wasp "it's not a disguise, it just looks like us at a baseball game" (I watched that like last week. I missed Luis). Anyway …

Back in the sitcom world. The kids are ready for their early afternoon trick-or-treating. They're still talking to the camera. It's so awkward. I'm not a fan. I get it's meant to reproduce the very 90s Nick-era sitcoms and so, you know, it's spot on. Still, though.

Pietro is encouraging and supportive. "Unleash hell, demon spawn!"

Dang there are a lot of kids in that neighborhood. Wasn't Vision wondering last episode why there weren't any kids? Is the program correcting itself?

Wanda tries to test Pietro, asking him about some kid at an orphanage when they were kids. Pietro calls her on it, and says he knows he looks different. Wanda wants to know why that is. He says, "You tell me. I mean, if I found shangra-la, I wouldn't want to be reminded of the past, either." Hmm.

The kids speed off with uncle Pietro. Wanda wanders over to talk to neighbor Herb, who has a g-man earbud in and is clearly part of the neighborhood watch. In the background Pietro is stealing all the candy and smashing pumpkins and spraying the place with silly string. The hijinks are so wacky. Wanda tells Herb maybe Vision can help out with the chaos, and Herb says Vision isn't on duty. Oh no, he lied to her!

Herb goes weird "is there something I can do for you, Wanda? Do you want something changed?" Hmmm.

Elsewhere Vision is wandering the wild streets of Westview. He finds people caught in some type of weird decorating loop, the woman seems trapped but aware.

Commercial time!  What the fuck was that. "Yo-magic! The snack for survivors." No, really, what the fuck.

Night has fallen, the twins and the twins walk the streets. Wanda's making the boys give back all the candy they stole. She says Pietro is a bad influence. He says "I'm just trying to do my part, kay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"What happened to your accent?"

"What happened to yours? Details are fuzzy, man. I got shot like a chump in the street for no reason." AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! no really AHAHAHAHAAH! Thank you, Pietro! Holy shit, perfect. That's some delicious shade. I expect to see this gif'd fifteen different ways when I load tumblr today.

"Next thing I know, I heard you calling me. I knew you needed me."

The kids interrupt. And now all of a sudden Tommy can zoom. Character development!

Everyone is so careful to give Wanda what she wants. Why? She's not cruel. Who wants to keep her pacified? And whoever it is cannot possibly be pleased with AD Dick messing things up. Assuming it's an outside or outside-ish force/entity, of course. I mean, I don't think she's doing this entirely, she might be the battery powering it, but despite her thing last episode to get SWORD to leave her alone, she does seem a little confused about the where, why, and how things are going.

"Don't go past Ellis Avenue." Just a kid thing or a boundary of the sitcom control world?

In the real world, our heroes are sneaking through a tent city and into the server room. The scene with Pietro and Wanda discussing his accent is playing in the background. Darcy seems put-out that Pietro was recast. lol. "He brought the wrong face."

Darcy hacks into Hayward's devices. "Hayward figured out a way to look through the boundary." "And he didn't share it with the group." I don't like Hayward. 

Something is blipping on the map on the computer. Jimmy asks if it's Wanda, but Darcy says "it's tracking the decay signature of vibranium". So Vision. Monica wants to know why Hayward is tracking Vision. Well, I'd super like to know what SWORD was doing with Vision in the first place, because they weren't just storing him, they were doing something. So …

Jimmy notices that there are other dots, the ones closest to Vision, who are other residents. Jimmy says the ones near the edge of town are barely moving.

Back to Vision. He's found a cul-de-sac to patrol. Everybody's frozen in place, the street lights flicker. Eerie. They're all dressed for Halloween. Does this mean the field is shrinking, or the effects spreading and so it's closing in, slowing and then freezing people who were earlier moving about just fine? Vision is unaffected by this whatever it is. He turns himself into himself and flies off, up above the town. part of the town is dark, and part alive with voices and laughter.

He spots a car at the edge of town. It's Agnes. She seems frozen-ish, but when he asks what she's doing there, she says "Town Square Scare. Where is it?" all robotic like. Vision helpfully tries to give directions. lol. "Took a wrong turn, got lost" she says.

Vision touches her head and she wakes up. "You! You're one of the Avengers. You're Vision. Are you here to help us?" "I am Vision. I do want to help. But, what's an Avenger?"

Hmm. Well, I guess he did say last week that he couldn't remember anything before Westview.

"Am I dead?" she asks. "No, why would you think that?" "Because you are."

What was news coverage after the Snap like, do you suppose? I mean, ridiculous, of course. But, like, I think they had bigger problems then wondering about snapped/dead Avengers, didn't they? Well, maybe not. "WHERE ARE AVENGERS TO HELP US?" or "HOW DARE THE AVENGERS NOT HELP US!" "TOTALLY THIS IS ON THE AVENGERS!" "WE'D ALL BE DEAD WITHOUT THE AVENGERS!" "NUHUH! BOO AVENGERS!" "EXCEPT VISION WHO DIED HEROICALLY, WE ALL LIKE THAT AVENGER!" "TONY STARK AND PEPPER POTTS SHARE THE DECORATING TIPS THAT TRANSFORMED THEIR RUSTIC RESTORATION PROJECT INTO A CHARMING FAMILY HOME".

Agnes starts screaming "Dead" at Vision. She's not coping well. Vision says he's going to try and reach outside town and try to figure this all out. "How? No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it." I SUSPECT YOU, AGNES! Why would Wanda keep everybody trapped and miserable? I could see if she did it on accident, but this implies she's purposefully hurting people. I don't buy it. Agnes, again, seems to be in the right place at the right time to make Vision doubt Wanda. You're a very suspicious character, Agnes.  

She starts to laugh. "All is lost." Vision touches her had and she resets to sitcom Agnes. Somehow she can move again, she turns the car around on Ellis Ave and heads back into town. So, that answers that.

Vision walks across the Eillis Ave to the field beyond.

Meanwhile, Darcy continues to hack. Monica gets a text and says "that's it! My way back into the Hex will be here in an hour." Jimmy's all ready to boost a ride to take her to meet her aerospace buddy. But, Darcy says, nope. Can't do it. Monica's been through the Hex twice, and it's rewritten her cells. "It's changing you." Monica is undaunted. "I know what Wanda's feeling and I won't stop until I help her." Alrighty then.

Jimmy's finally going to get to hotwire a car! But wait, Darcy's not going with them. AD Dick has something hidden behind one last firewall. Darcy thinks it's big and can help them. She's going to find it.

I don't think Jimmy had to hotwire that humvee. It just started right up. Motorpool, pfft - they always leave the keys.

Back in Westview. Halloween continues at Town Square. Pietro asks Wanda where she was hiding all those kids. Whu? Says Wanda. "I assume they were all just sleeping peacefully in their beds. No need to traumatize beyond the occasional holiday cameo, amiright?" What is Pietro. "Hey don't get me wrong, you've handled the ethical considerations of this scenario as best you could. Families and couples stay together. Most personalities aren't far from what's underneath. People got better jobs. Better haircuts for sure."

"You don't think it's wrong?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm impressed. It's a pretty big leap from giving people nightmares and shooting red wigglywoos out your hands." No, really, what is Pietro? "How'd you even do all this?" Hmmm.

"I don't know how I did it. I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty. Just endless nothingness." She looks back at Pietro and for a second he's dead Pietro. Poor Wanda.

Darcy continues to hack Hayward's systems. Cataract classified weapons something something. They're still tracking Vision. Who continues his walk across the field and comes to the hex. He tries to push through it. Looks painful. SWORD rolls out to go overreact at him. He makes it through the barrier, kind of. It's a struggle.

Hayward standing there looking like a jackass "he really does want out, doesn't he?" Like he’s just amused by this turn of events, or watching a lab rat try to get out of the lab. 

Darcy's standing behind watching all of this. Bits of Vision sort of fly off and back into the Hex. Darcy says "oh no!" and runs towards him, screaming for them to help him. Way to give away your sneaky hiding, girlfriend.

In Westview. Billy looks up, he can hear what's going on outside. "I hear daddy in my head. He's in trouble."

Vision calls for help, while SWORD prioritizes arresting Darcy. Phil Coulson would never have behaved like this. Boo to SWORD. Vision is dissolving. It's kind of gross and sad.

Wanda asks where Vision is, and Pietro interrupts "Don't sweat it, sis. It's not like your dead husband can die twice." Wanda wallops him with some red wigglywoos.

Billy sees soldiers and thinks Vision is dying. Wanda stops everything and makes a big red boom. The Hex appears to be expanding. Whoops, now you've done it AD Dick. He runs away like the brave brave guy he is. They leave Darcy handcuffed to a jeep. "Are you serious right now?"

The Hex overtakes Vision and then Darcy. Trapped soldiers become clowns, and we're in the circus. Well, SWORD seems like a circus, so Wanda's not wrong. I'm pretty sure Jimmy and Monica made it, but sadly the bravest Director who ever braved also escaped. He deserved to be a circus clown. Better luck next week, Wanda.

Credits.

Well, I just don't know anymore.

Hayward doesn't care about Wanda, except where I think because of this someone will figure out what he was doing to Vision's body. And Vision is ultimately the thing he cares about in all this. I hope Wanda drops a house on him.

Hmmm.

Quit suggesting I watch Age of Ultron next, Disney. It’s not happening. 

[beclynn-herondale]

In Another Universe: Chapter 8 part 1 - The Hotel Dumort

(tsc and tmi belong to Cassandra Clare, and so do the characters, a lot of it is very similar to the original, especially the hotel Dumort part)

They were walking down the sidewalk, Jayce walking beside Clar, Alec and Isidore a few feet ahead of them. Clar pulled his backpack in front of him to get Simone out and check on her.

When he opened the bag, she wasn't in there. "Oh no!". "What?" asked Jayce. "Simone's gone.". "She must have fallen out, or jumped out," she said. "Hey, Alec! Iz!." Alec and Isidore looked behind them at Clar and Jayce. "We lost Simone! Me and Clar are gonna go back find her!" she shouted. Isidore nodded, Alec wss about to come back but Isidore dragged her along with him.

They went back to Magna's loft, Jayce rang the doorbell.

"Who dares disturb the Magnificent Magna Bane's sleep!?" she said. "It's me, the Shadowhunter from the party," said Jayce. "Oh! the one with blue eyes?" "No." "Oh, that one."

Jayce looked like one of those anime characters when they had a fake arrow go through them, Clar thought. He found it funny. Magna opened the door, and was leaning against the entryway.

"What do you want?" asked Magna. "Simone is gone," said Clar. "I think she may have jumped out of the bag when we were leaving.". "I didn't see any rat when I was cleaning up, my dear.". "Perhaps one of your guests took her then?" said Jayce.

Clar remembered that Vampire that bumped into him. "I think maybe a vampire took her when he bumped into me," he said. Jayce looked at him. "Where can we find the vampires that were at your party?" asked Jayce.

"And why would I want to piss off the vampires by telling you where they are?" said Magna. "Because this is Shadowhunter business and you could get in trouble," said Jayce, in that threatening tone. "Fine," said Magna with a sigh. "The Hotel Dumort is where you'll find them.". "Thank you," said Jayce, she put on a charming smile, tried to sound as sincere as possible. "Now goodnight, and don't come back or I'll turn you into a coatrack," she said.

As she closed the door, Clar thought he heard her mumble something like "Clucking Shadowhunters"

——————

"So," said Isidore. "Magna Bane likes you. I think you should try to get to know her.". "No. and she doesn't," said Alec. "Really? Why did she say call her then?" "She was just fun flirting, nothing serious." "Why can't you accept that someone is interested in you?" "You know why." "Alec..."

"Look, Iz, even if she were interested in me and I in her, it wouldn't matter. You know nothing could ever happen between us for several reasons." Iz sighed sadly. It was true, Magna Bane did say call her, but surely she didn't actually mean it, surely someone as pretty as her wasn't actually interested in Alec.

"I don't like that Jayce went off on her own," she said. "She'll be fine." "How do you know that?" "Cause she's Jayce," said Iz. "You know how strong and badass she is." "Yes, but..." "But what?" "She has Clar with her, I'm not trying to sound jealous or anything, it's just Clar doesn't have any experience fighting and I don't want him getting Jayce killed cause of his stubbornness," said Alec.

"I know, I have my own feelings about Clar, but Jayce is gonna make her own decisions and we can't always be there," he said. "Believe me, I want to be just as bad, to have her back." "I'm her parabatai, I am supposed to be there.". "I know, but you can't always be with her Alec, even if you are parabatai." "It's always been us three, Iz," she said quietly. "I know."

"I don't want Jayce getting herself killed for some boy," whispered Alec under her breath, so quietly she wondered if Iz even heard her.

They walked the rest of the way home.

——————

Jayce needed to get weapons before going to the vampires lair, so they went to the nearest church. There was always a place where the Nephilim have left weapons and other stuff, for when a fellow Nephilim needed it.

She was exhausted with having to help Clar with Simone, she didn't know why she was even bothering but she felt responsible for Clar, and he was going to go with it without her, she knew that, so might as well go with so he didn't get himself killed.

"So you said Nephilim just leave weapons in churches?" asked Clar. "Churches and other religious places. And the people who run these places, are the ones who pay and supply things to Shadowhunters often. They believe in demons and we kill them, so to thank us for our service they pay us and supply us with weapons when we need it, and let us hide weapons here. And sometimes Shadowhunters secretly hide weapons." she told him.

She looked at him, he seemed to be looking around at the church oddly. "I've never really been in a Church before.". "Why not?". "My mom was never the type of woman who believed in that stuff." He thought back she had always said there was no magic and that she never felt connected to any god so she couldn't believe. Though now he wondered if she was angry at some god that may exist. "She probably wanted to stay away from anything that had to do with the Shadow world even a little," she said. "Yeah, probably."

She knelt down where the compartment that had the weapons as nd holy water was, she pulled her Stele out and drew an open rune over it. She opened it and Clar jumped a little. "Jesus," he said. "He wouldn't fit in here," she said. "Do you believe?" he asked. "No," she answered. "But why not? If there's the Angel then there must be—". "A God?" "Yeah."

"I don't believe. but my father did," she told him. "He believed in a great almighty god. But the day he died I realized it wasn't that I didn't believe in god, I just thought if he is real, he doesn't care, and we are on our own." Clar stared at her a little shaken. "Oh," was all he said. She smiled at him, god doesn't care about her she thought to herself that day.

"Isn't the fact that it's right there, isn't that dangerous?" he said trying to change the subject, Maybe she supposed, by asking about the compartment. "Only Shadowhunters can open it, it requires an open Rune." "Oh," he said. Now lets go," she said.

——————

Joan was starting to grow tired of the waiting, the waiting for battle, the waiting for the hunt, the waiting for the kill. There was still a part of her that expected to be saved though she couldn't understand why she wanted to be saved.

These last couple months of her training have been intense. she felt connected with her demon blood now in a way she hadn't before, she understood the evil queens she used to read about now, why they loved the darkness, why they loved evil. Being evil was so much more fun, and you didn't have to feel remorse for the terrible things you did.

No wonder Lucifer chose to fall, and become the devil himself. Falling was so much more fun.

Joan couldn't completely remember the old her and how it felt to feel like she did before she was dragged away with Lilith, she sometimes fought something inside her that said what she was doing was wrong but she couldn't say it bothered her, she was now who she was always meant to be. She was meant to be this monster and villian.

Lilith was proud of her, her father was as well, he said he'd have a gift for her soon enough. That there was a girl who had not pleased him like she had, he said she would be welcome have a go at her and mess her up a little when he got his hands back on her. Apparently he had sent her away years ago after growing tired of her, apparently she was too weak and gentle to ever be of use to him, and apparently she was very breakable. The old Joan would have thought it was terrible to speak of a person like this but that Joan was very far away these days, perhaps she was even almost gone.

Her father said he'll have her back soon enough, and he'll have Clar as well to bring to her, he said they'll be a family. All she really cared about was Clar now, her brother who could always be great company and make her laugh. despite her loving her new self, she wanted him by her side, he could join with their father and they would have the world.

Or it would be fun to watch it burn. There was a voice saying that she didn't really want that, but didn't she?

——————

They got to the Hotel Dumort, Jayce looked at it, trying to see if there was a way to get in. Vampires had flying motorcycles, so they could fly to the roof and get in. They didn't have one though, which made things more complicated.

"The Hotel Dumort," she said. "Cute isn't it?" Clar gave her a look. "Du mort," he said. "Meaning, Of death." "Yes," she said.

"How can this be the hotel," he said. "All the windows are boarded up and the door's bricked up— oh," he realized as she gave him a look. "Right, they are vampires. How do they get inside then?" "They fly,". she said, and pointed to the roof. The hotel had clearly once been very elegant and beautiful, but now was not so elegant. "But we don't fly," Clar pointed out. "You're right, we break and enter," she said and smirked. She made her way down the street towards the hotel.

——————

Clar caught up to Jayce and followed closely behind. "Flying does sound more fun," he said. "Everything sounds more fun now." He wondered if she was serious. She had excitement about her, anticipation for the hunt that didn't seem to him like she was as unhappy as she claimed. She did say once she has killed more demons than anyone else her age. He supposed you didn't kill that many demons by hanging back from a fight

They walked down the alley, the wind blew trash in several directions. The streets were deserted, it was odd, usually there was at least someone on the streets of manhattan at 4 in the morning. Many of the streetlights were out, but there was one closets to the hotel that was on, casting it's yellow light across the pathway, to what had been the front door.

"Stay out of the light," said Jayce, as she pulled him away and towards her by his sleeve. "They may be watching from the windows. Also don't look up." But he had already looked up and could have sworn he saw someone move away from the window. "Come on." Jayce pulled him with her to blend in more with the shadows, closer to the hotel. It was odd having someone who was shorter than you drag you around like you were nothing, but she was strong he reminded himself.

He felt nervous chills go down his spine, the sounds of the city seemed very far away, all he could hear clearly was the crunch of trash under his shoes. He wished he could be like Shadowhunters and be soundless, maybe he could ask Jayce to teach him someday. They slipped around the corner of the hotel down an alley that had probably been for deliveries once. It was covered in garbage, empty bottles, trash bags, cardboard boxes, scattered things that Clar had thought were toothpicks, but when they got closer he realized that they were— "Bones," said Jayce with a flat tone. "Cat bones, rat bones, dog bones. Don't look to closely it's not pretty, going through a vampires trash that is."

"Well I guess we're in the right place," he said. Jayce glanced at him with a look of respect for a flicker of a moment. "Oh, we're in the right place," she said. "We just gotta find a way in."

There clearly use to be windows that were now bricked up, there wasn't a fire escape. "When this was a hotel," said Jayce. "This must have been where trucks made deliveries." Clar thought about the shops near his house in brooklyn, how they would get deliveries in the morning when he walked to school, they had delivery areas like this, had seen the owners open the metal doors that were set into the pavement outside the front. "I bet that the doors are in the ground. Under the garbage."

Jayce, a little behind him, nodded. "That's what I was thinking as well," she said with a sigh. "I suppose we need to move all this trash. We should start with the dumpster." she didn't look enthusiastic. "You'd rather fight a horde of demons, instead, wouldn't you?" "At least that wouldn't be covered in bugs and mold and angel knows what else. Well," she added thoughtfully. "I did track down this demon one time that was in the sewers under Grand Central—" "Stop," he said. "I am in no mood to hear about that right now." "That's gotta be the first time someone has said that to me," she mused. "Well, if you stick with me, it won't be the last time." Her mouth twitched. "This is hardly the time for pointless banter. We have lots of garbage to haul."

She walked over to the dumpster, grabbing one side. "You get the other side. We'll tip it," she said. "Won't that make too much noise," he argued. He walked over to the other side, and grabbed it. The smell made him want to gag. "We should push it."

"Look—," began Jayce, but a voice spoke out of the shadows. "Should you really be doing that?" it said. Clar was frozen in place, staring at the shadows, he panicked a little and wondered if it was just him but he looked to Jayce and saw she was frozen as well, and had a look of astonishment on her face. It was rare to see her look like that, even rarer that anyone snuck up on her. She reached for her belt as she stepped away from the dumpster. "Is someone there?" she said.

"Dios mío," said a female voice, it sounded amused, speaking softly in spanish. "You're not from around here, are you?" She stepped forward out of the shadows, a few years younger than Jayce, and probably six inches shorter than Clar. She was thin and had big dark eyes, and brown skin. She wore black slacks and a white dress shirt opened at the neck, a gold chain around her neck. "yeah, your might say that," said Jayce meticulously, her hand still on her belt where her seraph blades were.

"You should not be here," the girl said. "It's a very unsafe place." She must mean it's a bad neighborhood. He would have laughed in other circumstances. "We know," he said. "We're just lost." "And what," she gestured towards the dumpster. "Are you doing with that?" Clar was not good at lying on the spot, he needed time to come with a good one, he hoped Jayce was excellent at it. "We were trying to get into the hotel," she said. "We were thinking maybe there was a cellar entrance under this dumpster." She didn't just flat out say that? Did she?

She looked at them like she couldn't believe what she just heard. "Puta madre—and why would you be doing that?" Jayce gave an innocent shrug. "We thought it would be fun to do a prank. Have some fun, mess around," she said. "This place is haunted, it's bad luck," the girl said. She said several things in spanish Clar didn't understand, but assumed probably had to do with stupid kids. "Come with me, I'll show you to the subway." "We know where the subway is," said Jayce. "Claro. Of course you do, but if you walk with me no one mess with you. You don't want trouble from anyone around here," she said.

"That depends, we may want a little trouble," said Jayce. "How much are they paying you to keep people away?" The girl glanced back at Jayce. "Who do you mean? How much is who paying me?" "The vampires, who else?" said Jayce. "Are they paying you a lot? Or offering to make you one? Cause let me tell you eternal life is such a long time, especially when you can never see the sun again."

She looked at Jayce expressionless. "My name is Raphaela." "So you know what we're talking about The vampires? you know about them?" said Clar. Raphaela went on telling a story about a group of boys that were taken by the vampires here, one of them was her brother, she said she walks by here some nights. And how if you go in there you'll never come out.

"My friend is in there we came to save her," said Clar. "So I take it I can't warn you away?" said Raphaela. "No," said Jayce. "But don't worry about us, what happened to your friend won't happen to us." she pulled out one of her seraph blades from her belt and held it up to the light, the dim light shining on it, her eyes were shadowed. "I've killed plenty vampires, they can die."

She took a sharp breath and said something low in spanish. "I know what you are," she said. "I have heard stories about your kind, from the old Padre at St. Cecilia's. I thought they were just stories." "All the stories are true," said Clar quietly. She looked at Jayce her fists clenched. "I want to come with you," she said. "No way, absolutely not," said Jayce. "I can show you how to get in." Jayce looked a little tempted. "You can't come.". "Fine," said Raphaela.

She walked by them and kicked some trash away, there was a rusted metal grating there, she knelt down, grabbed the bars and lifted it away. "This is how my brother and his friends got in that night, it goes down to the basement, I believe." Jayce and Clar joined her by the grate. Clar held his breath not wanting to smell the garbage anymore. He glanced at Jayce who now had a thin smile on her face. She still had the seraph blade out, the witchlight that cast off it, gave her face a ghostly glow, it reminded him of when he and Simone were eleven and she held a flashlight up to her face telling ghost stories that Clar could never take seriously.

"Thanks," she said to Raphaela. "This will work just fine." She looked at them with a pale face. "You go in there and save your friend, do what I could not do for my brother," she said. Jayce put her Seraph Blade back in her belt, she looked at Clar. "Follow my lead," she said, and slid down through the grating in a gracefully smooth move, feet first. He expected a shout of agony, but he only heard the a soft thump of feet landing on the ground. "It's fine," she called up to Clar. "Jump down and I'll help you."

He looked to Raphaela. "Thank you for all the help." She said nothing, only held her hand out to help Clar, he used her strong grip to steady himself as he got into position to jump down, her hands were very cold. She let go of his hand as he dropped down. It only took a second or two of falling before he landed and Jayce was there helping him steady himself, he thought as a boy he shouldn't need this kind of help but he had never been that muscular, not like some of the boys in his school. She let go immediately after he was steady. "You ok?" "Fine."

Jayce put her Seraph Blade back out and lifted it, it lit up their surroundings. They were a small space with cracked concrete floors. Vines had begun to grow along the walls. A doorway without a door, lead to another room. He heard a loud thump behind him, he turned to it and saw Raphaela. She ha followed them through the grating. And grinned at them manically.

Jayce looked angered. "I thought I told you—" She held her hand up in a gesture that said shush. "I heard you," she said. "But what are you going to do about now? I can't get back up the way I came and you can't leave me for dead . . . Can you?" "I'm contemplating it," said Jayce, she looked tired, she had shadows under her eyes. Raphaela pointed. "That way, they are up the stairs. They stay on the higher floors." She went past them. Jayce looked after her shaking her head. "I am beginning to be tired of mundanes," she said.

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @spotsandclawsthings @megs-readstoomuch @replayfootsteps @magnus-the-maqnificent @bookfast-at-tiffanys @simply-ellas-stuff @my-archerboy @jazzkaurtheglorious

[purplesurveys]

1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to?  Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now?  Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school?  To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there?  Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”?  It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened?  Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks?  Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without?  Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not?  Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet. 

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why?  Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play?  Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something?  The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about?  Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects?  Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel?  No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework?  Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why?  I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city?  I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline. 

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult?  Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed?  I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place?  I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you?  I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall?  We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD?  No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family?  Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with?  My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook?  I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds?  Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them?  Who was the last person you dreamt about?  My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened?  Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn?  As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What?  TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid?  No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow?  Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift?  I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty?  Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why?  I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child?  We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out?  They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about?  Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it. 

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory?  Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe.  I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter?  Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc)  No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war?  No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly?  The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet?  Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to?  I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried?  So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better?  Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku?  I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money?  I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better?  Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes?  I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh?  Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live?  A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in?  Angela.

Does your car have an alarm?  Sure.

Where was your mom born?  Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what?  My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why?  I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you?  I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say?  Probably. But nothing sticks out.

[wakaoujisenhime]

Hi! Can I ask friendship headcanons with Aomine and Kise (not separated)?

A/N: But of course you can! The story will start off at Teiko and follow up until their days in Vorpal Swords. Sadly there had to be some separated parts, but I still hope that you’ll be able to enjoy it nonetheless! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Tags: Kise x reader x Aomine ✅  SFW ✅  friendship ✅  fluff ✅ slight angst ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Teiko:

in the beginning you didn’t know either of them, you only knew their names because of the countless rumors that surrounded them

one day you saw a yellow haired man peek around the corner of the gym like some kind of stalker

“What are you doing?“, you asked.

this was the first time you heard a young man scream with a voice higher than yours

“What’s with all that noise out there?”

the two of you were caught by a dark blue haired boy...

your mouth was being covering by the yellow haired boy while you tried to break free from his grasp and held onto his uniform

all in all you looked like a cute couple that was bickering over something

“The hell Kise it’s you again?“

Kise?

“Aominecchi this is not what it looks like!“

Aomine?

So that’s them...

and that was your first encounter with your future best friends

.

the day after that little escapade, Kise personally came to your classroom to apologize just in case that he had bothered you in any way

you used that chance to strike up a conversation with him

the first topic you brought up was why he was loitering in front of the gym

Kise explained his whole life story to you and even if it was tmi sometimes you kept on listening

“So why don’t you just join the basketball team?“

congratulations my dear reader you just earned yourself a ‘-cchi’ ending to your name!

since that day Kise has been dragging you to the gym

he wanted to show you his own improvements and make you proud that way

one day Aomine sat down next to you and began throwing question after question at you

“You his girlfriend?”

“Since when have you known each other?”

and so on...

after debunking 99.9% of his questions you turned the flow of the conversation around by questioning him

the two of you got along surprisingly well and Kise even stopped his training in order to challenge Aomine to yet another one-on-one

you had to admit that watching both of them go all out just for a simple one-on-one while grinning and laughing was kinda...heartwarming

it made you feel like you had to support them and that amazing friendship rivalry they had going on

so you did

you’d stay behind and wait for them to finish their training

then the three of you would always go to the convenience store and buy something small to eat (sometimes Kise and Aomine will buy it for you as a small thanks for always waiting for them, your protests while waiting at the queue always fall to deaf ears)

sometimes the three of you would go out for a round of street basketball (which was just another excuse for an one-on-one match)

during their match you’d always stand at the sidelines and watch them, but they’d have none of that

“(Y/N), what do you think you’re doing?”

“Come and join us (Y/N)-cchi!”

the typical excuse of not being able to play BB won’t cut it here, because these two will teach you the basics until you’ve mastered them completly

and just in case your skills prove to be GoM-worthy then you should prepare yourself for more incoming challenges from these two

but even good times have their end...

when the whole Generation of Miracles started changing of course your best friends began getting swept away as well

it pained you too see them lose to pride and arrogance

you tried multiple times to convince Aomine that one day there will be someone who can beat him, but sadly he never believed it

he never said it out loud but he was really thankful for your continued support, like REALLY thankful

Kise on the other hand wasn’t changing, but he took the constant victories for granted and that only boosted his ego further

so as his best friend you felt the need to bring him down from his high horse (you basically were a mini version of Kasamatsu)

sadly your meetings and small after school rituals started becoming less and less, additionally your trio was reduced to two duos (Aomine/you and Kise/you)

only once did you manage to get both of them to go out with you and spent some time together (just like the good old days)

that meeting though was just a day before your graduation and I’m pretty sure you know where this is going....

“So (Y/N)...which school will you go to?”

these two had told you their decisions long ago, hoping that you’d follow one of them

guess what...

“I’ll be going to XX high school..”

Kise and Aomine looked at each other, sadness evident on both of their faces

“Guess we’ll be spending less time together huh, (Y/N)-cchi...?”

it was a very sad and heartbroken moment (especially for you)

of course you had always wished for the three of you to go to the same high school, but things just ended up that way and the last thing you wanted to do was choose between one of them

.

..

!! GRADUATION DAY !!

happy faces, crying faces, ...

it was a beautiful day which marked a new beginning for each and every single one of you guys

you were looking for your best friends to say one last goodbye, when you saw them hanging out with the rest of the GoM

what surprised you the most was that apparently all of them were going their separate ways

their small meeting was over quite quickly and that’s when Aomine and Kise finally noticed you

seeing them smile at you, brought tears to your eyes and soon you started crying

both of them were so shocked that they began throwing question after question at your sobbing self

instead of answering them you just wrapped your arms around them in a tight embrace

“You guys...promise me that we’ll continue staying friends, no matter the distance between us.”

seeing you that vulnerable triggered something inside of them, that made them regret how they’ve treated you these past few years, so instead of answering you they just returned your embrace

XX high school:

it was lonely without having both of them by your side, but you still had contact with them (as promised)

whenever you could you’d FaceTime each other and the one of you would always tell the other two what’s going on in their life at the moment

you once decided to surprise them on their birthday by visiting their school

Kise’s birthday was first so you went to Kaijo

what do you think were the chances of you meeting Kasamatsu?

in all honesty...they were quite high considering how you were standing at the entrance gate, looking around all afraid that you might have ended up at the wrong school

he was on his way to the gym and when he saw you looking like a lost puppy he just had to help you out

“Hey, are you perhaps lost?”

“I-I’m sorry I’m just looking for someone.”

when you started describing Kise, the captain’s face instantly went from sweet and welcoming to annoyed and mad

“You another one of his girlfriends?”

that statement should’ve insulted you, but all you did was laugh at that

“Don’t tell me his fan club followed him till here.”

Kasamatsu and you became the greatest friends right then and there

when you entered the gym after he announced your visit to his entire team, the blonde tackled you which almost made you fall over

after that...Kise was screamed at and kicked by Kasamatsu while the rest of his team either eyed you suspiciously, flirted with you (Moriyama) or was trying to get to know you

it was a fun day and it ended on a fluffy note (Kise was so overjoyed that you had bought him a birthday present and were here to give it to him in person that he hugged you for minutes and treated you to a cake slice in his favorite bakery)

.

now onto Aomine’s birthday

you were in the exact same situation like how you were back then at Kaijo, but this time you really didn’t know where to go to (Too academy was to big of a place for a visitor like you)

the man who picked you up this time was none other than the coach himself

when you mentioned Aomine you could’ve sworn that he was about to kill the next person who came across

“Wish I knew that myself...”

seeing your confused face Harasawa explained all the problems he and the team had faced alongside Aomine

you were not happy

you were MAD

“Coach...do you have his phone number?”

that man was embarrassed of himself because he actually got intimidated by your sudden change in personality

he brought you to the gym explaining that Momoi was the person you should talk to

when you arrived the whole team once again eyed you suspiciously

the pink haired girl was the only welcoming person there

she hugged you and both of you went ahead and began reminiscing of the good old days

“(Y/N)-chan, go ahead and give him a call”

it took you a total of five attempts to reach him and when he finally picked up you wasted no time with greetings

that day Too’s basketball team witnessed what real fury looked like (even Wakamatsu was at a loss for words)

when you finished your one sided call it didn’t take Aomine long to arrive

I’m sure you can imagine the faces of his team members ;)

on that day, the team finally experienced what a real training felt like and all that thanks to you and the constant motivational remarks you threw at the birthday boy (‘motivational remarks’ such as: Kise could’ve done that way better! You think you can impress all of those gravure models like that? Hold the ball like how you’d hold a woman’s breasts!)

you were the hero of the day

before Aomine went home you gave him his present and made sure to shower him with compliments

in order to hide his happiness and embarrassment, he embraced you and muttered a low ‘thank you’

.

..

...

like the good friend you were you made sure to go on every match they had and support/root for them

when the first round of the Winter Cup (Seirin vs Too) ended, you were waiting outside the hall for your friend as always, when Aomine suddenly called you

your heart almost jumped out of your chest as you heard him sniff and sob silently

“(Y/N)...I-I’m sorry. You were right, you were always right..I’m sorry that I never listened to you, please forgive me..”

you were panicking while your best friend was crying on the phone

after a long attempt to calm him down and find his location out he actually came to you

seeing him stand in front of you, eyes all puffy from crying and his nose running you just motioned him to come and hug you (which he obviously did)

when Aomine was finally calm enough he explained what had him so upset

seeing how he actually cried because of his team’s defeated (just how you had always predicted) made you happy in a way...happy that he finally found what he was looking for

.

..

once again things had to go south...

next match on your list was Too vs Kaijo

you knew that this match was about to determine a LOT of things for your best friends and all you could do was watch them play (you had to held back on cheering them on loudly)

.

..

Kise’s team lost and you were crying (once again), but this time it was out of happiness...

you were happy that the blonde had overcome his admiration for the blue haired man and had actually copied his style for the first time

with this, both boys had gotten what they deserved and it made them grow out of that shell they had built up from their Teiko days

Vorpal Swords:

all in all you guys went back to your relationship from back in the days

regular meetings, new small rituals and the newest thing of it all was the way they started treating you

you basically were treated like royalty

you sighed: “(Y/N)-cchi! Are you bored? Would you like to go shopping with me? I’ll pay for your outfit!”

you yawned: “You tired? Should we take a break or do you prefer to take a nap? I’ll serve as your pillow so no worries!”

when you decided to confront them about it what they said had you tearing up AGAIN

“We just want to pay you back (Y/N)-chii...”

“After everything you’ve done for us, it’s only appropriate to treat you with the same respect and care you treated us...”

the three of you hugged it all out and at that exact moment you couldn’t have been happier to have gotten to know these two

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.8

Enchanted

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)     x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 3900

Summary: Dealing with witches is always messy. Sometimes they help... if there’s something in it for them. 

Rowena might be a powerful witch, but in certain aspects, she’s no different from the others of her kind.

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood, supernatural elements, mentions of amnesia, swearing (always)

Story masterlist

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“What are you doing here?” Dean asked, 100% done with the woman.

She was… a classy lady. She could be over fifty, but she apparently was taking a very good care of herself, clearly having money to do so too. Her curly hair was copper red, face covered in makeup to hide some of her age. She was very slim, but in no fragile matter – you had a hunch that her delicate outside hid a very strong inside.

“Drinking my tea,” she replied innocently and despite only just meeting her, you could tell she was full of it.

“Cut the crap, Rowena,” Sam spitted out, crossing his arms on his chest.

You blinked, surprised by Sam’s hostile demeanour. If even Sam, the epitome of a gentle person, was acting this way…

The woman put the cup down, sighing.

“Samuel, Samuel… What does it look like I’m doing? I’m cleaning up the mess before you did. You could show a little gratitude. There were witches who were gathering strength against me by sucking a life out of poor virginal girls and I stopped them.”

Witches. So the two men found dead had been witches indeed. Who was this woman then? What was she?!

“You ripped their little soldiers off!” Dean hissed exasperatedly, adjusting to the low volume of the conversation. Despite yourself, you giggled.

The woman glanced at you, seemingly not bothered by your presence at all.

“Ah. Hello, darling. And you would be-“ she started sweetly, only for her breath to get caught in her throat, her eyes widening. “Ahh. Such potential! Where did you get her? Soulmates are of great value on the market! The power in the soul bond magic is enormous, especially with a woman like her!”

“You can tell that? Damn!” Dean exclaimed, impressed. Sam shot him a murder glare.

“Can I have her? Just for a sip?” Rowena turned back to the brothers, voice filled with hope.

“No!” Sam snapped instantly, subtly looking around if anyone noticed them. You wouldn’t be surprised, but you frankly didn’t care much.

What the hell was she talking about? Sip? Like… from the heart like with those poor girls? And what the hell did she mean ‘woman like her’?!

“Eh, Samuel. Don’t be so uptight. Besides, I was talking to the lady – sadly, she needs to give her consent. Can I, darling?”

You gulped, not comforted by her gentle smile at all. She looked terrifying and the idea was even more terrifying and— you might be panicking a little.

“I… I don’t think so? How do you know— who are you? Who is she?” you demanded shakily.

“Hm… then I guess I’ll have to be the nice witch again.”

Oh. So she was a witch too. And other witches apparently hated her, gathering strength to fight her. Wonderful. And clearly, she had crossed paths with the brothers before. Simply perfect.

“What do you mean?” Sam squinted at her suspiciously, while Dean absently gave the waitress money for your food and sent her away rather rudely so he could continue glaring at the witch.

“Well, she’s been resurrected, yes?” the redhead beckoned to you, making your blood run cold. Ah, that was what she meant. How the fuck did she know that?! “I suppose you’re looking for her other half and have no idea where to start. I can help. You’ll owe me then, of course, but… I’m nothing but generous.”

Your heart positively stopped. You were horrified. You were scared. You were stunned.

She could do that?! She could find your soulmate?! Despite feeling… uncomfortable for the lack of better word, with her helping you, everything in you screamed YES, your chest already tightening with anticipation and hope.

She could find him. The man calling you doll. The man whom you dreamed about, warm hands and sweet voice. She could-

You were snapped out of your musing by a loud grind of teeth, stereo-delivered by both Sam and Dean.

“Fine.“

“It’s lovely to meet you, darling. I’m Rowena,” she stood up and offered her hand for you to shake. You casted an unsure glance at Sam. Was it safe to accept it?

He gave an unwilling little nod.

You smiled tightly at the witch. “Nice to meet you. I’m… Natasha… I guess.”

She patted the back of your hand with her left palm. “It’s alright, sweetie. I can spot an induced amnesiac a mile away.”

“Induced?” Sam fretted.

“Caused by bringing her back from… Heaven?” she questioned, looking you up from head to toe as she finally released your hand. You found it incredibly creepy that she knew that much about you. Could she read minds or what?! “I swear, boys, you are always pulling out the strangest stunts. Let’s go now. We have an important task to complete.”

The reluctance of every one of you apart from the witch was nearly palpable, but it seemed you wordlessly agreed she was your best option right now.

You gulped as Rowena left a twenty on the table and led you out of the restaurant, unmistakeably finding the car you arrived in. She slid to the backseat elegantly, giving Dean instructions to drive to her suite.

“No need to worry, darling. I’ll point you towards the love of your life in no time.”

At that note, you weren’t sure whether it was the process or the goal that scared you more. You remained silent.

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“So… what exactly are you going to do?” Dean asked the million dollar question.

The drive was silent, only Rowena’s voice sometimes disturbing the quiet when telling Dean to take a turn.

Her suite was in a large luxurious hotel with freaking valets who didn’t have a single problem with three extra people coming in, basically showering you with questions about what they could do for you; you imagined it was Rowena’s doing and you weren’t thinking money. It was more than disturbing.

Entering the suite itself, the four of you were left alone, which led to Dean finally asking what was about to happen. Rowena pointedly ignored him and looked at you when answering.

“Well, I’ll just sneak a peek at your soul bond. You are still bound, even though probably not as strongly. I can look at the bond, follow it and let it lead me to your soulmate like the Ariadne’s threat leading Theseus from the Minotaur’s labyrinth.”

You understood the basic thing, her following some kind of a threat that connected you to your soulmate. Except you had no idea what she was talking about.

“…is that… like a pop culture reference or…? ‘Cause I don’t understand those.”

“Something like that,” Sam assured you with a bit of a patronizing smile. Unsure, you felt blood rush to your cheeks. You had a feeling you just made a fool of yourself. Then again… amnesiac here, alright?

“Of course you wouldn’t know, darling, my bad.”

Sam stepped in again. “Rowena, what ingredients do you need?”

“That’s the most brilliant thing, Samuel. Nothing. I simply… go online so to speak. Connect to their long-distance wi-fi. The only thing I need is her giving me the password. Or give up her firewall so I can hack their connection so to speak,” she explained with a blinding smile and earned three strange glances. One was confused – yours – and the other two were just… dubious and astounded. “No? I thought you were the local IT guy, Samuel.”

“What the hell, Rowena? Do witches use goggle now?” Dean nagged.

“Don’t be silly, Dean. I happened to spent beautiful months with a director of a software company. Of course, then his money ran out and I had to leave… but until that moment, ah, paradise, for his age-”

“Alright! TMI...” Dean threw his hand in the air, not unlike when Sam had tried to stop Dean from talking earlier. Rowena only winked, while you managed to do nothing but stare.

You were perfectly at lost. Was she their friend? Was she an enemy? Their aunt or something? She surely enjoyed making fun of them and clearly could be pain in their asses. Also… was she truly enchanting people so she could have whatever she wanted? ‘Cause it definitely looked like it now…

“I thought so. Can we get started so I can point you the right direction and we can all we be on our way?”

“Wait, you can just point us the right direction?” Dean demanded, frowning at her from his height, but she didn’t seem intimidated, more like slightly irritated with his questions, that she apparently found dumb.

“It’s magic, Dean, not GPS!”

“Could have fooled me…” Sam hummed, squinting at her as well.

Yeah, you didn’t like it either. Still, she was your best shot at finding your soulmate. Tough luck. You exchanged a look with Sam, who eyed his brother wryly. Guess you were all in agreement at that.

“Just… just do it,” Dean sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if tired.

The witch, on the other hand, seemed to be radiating excitement, which you didn’t like. You hated to admit it, but you were afraid of her; of her apparent immense power, to be precise. It didn’t help that she pulled out an ancient-looking bowl from her cabinet and a blade from the drawer of her nightstand.

Was she gonna cut you?!

“Oh, I will do it. May I, darling?”

You didn’t react to her question, eyeing the brothers once more. Their expressions dimmed even more at the sight of the tools Rowena was about to use, but Sam gave a sharp nod and attempted a reassuring smile.

Well. Shit. Still your only option if you ever wanted to find your soulmate, apparently. Your life sucked. Then again, at least you were alive.

You sighed and slowly laid your shaking hand into Rowena’s outstretched palm and she circled her slender fingers around your wrist, leading your joined hands above the bowl.

“Now, do you recall anything about your soulmate at all?” she asked, voice almost gentle.

You licked your lips nervously, a lump growing in your throat.

“I heard a voice in my dream. I’m pretty sure that’s it,” you admitted and hoped the shiver running through your, both from fear and anticipation, escaped everyone else’s notice.

Wishful thinking, probably.

“Mm. Good. Close your eyes and focus all you can on the voice. I think we established that I’m going to cut you, so try not to be too surprised and avoid breaking your concentration as much as possible. Are we clear, sweetie?”

People really needed to stop calling you things. It was getting incredibly annoying – you might only have a fake name, but it was still a name.

You kept your mouth shut though, not wanting to irk the witch, and simply nodded, your eyes falling shut.

Your soulmate’s voice was crystal clear in your ears, tender and sultry ‘doll’ caressing and tempting your heart. An involuntary smile slowly spread on your lips. You wanted to find the owner of that voice. And for that, sacrifices had to be made.

You barely gasped when the blade scrapped over your skin, barely breaking the surface. Your hand was manipulated then, turned over and squeezed until you felt droplets of blood trickle down and fall off your hand.

That was when the witch started enchanting, the strange words sending a shiver down your spine. The colour of her voice was richer now, thicker, crimson as the blood on your hand.

‘Doll,’ you forced yourself to hear instead, one simple word growing so familiar it made your heart ache and swell. Warm light flickered behind your eyelids, flashing through your whole being, an electric discharge running through your nerve endings and igniting every cell of your body, tender heat gathering in your chest.

Soft inhale escaped your lips at the blissful feeling, the light only growing.

And then it was over, the tingling sensation snapping like a rubber band, recoiling into a tiny ball of warmth around your heart. You hand automatically reached that direction, but the world swayed off its place.

A pair of strong hands gripped your shoulders from behind, a panicked cry of ‘Natasha!’ echoing in your ears, barely audible, muffled by an indefinable buzzing.

You blinked your eyes open, finding a redhead woman staring at you funnily.

“Nat, you good?” sounded behind you and you realized that, surprisingly enough, Dean was the one to catch you, his grip on you not even faltering when you turned your head to him. A worried wrinkle, rather uncharacteristic for him, sat on his forehead. You tried to stand up straighter, whispering a thank you.

“Did you see something?” Sam asked and you opened your mouth to try and describe the incredible feeling that had run through you, only to realize he spoke to Rowena.

“Y-yes.”

If you didn’t know better, you’d think she was… shaken.

“What is it? You’re looking at me funny,” you pried, not able to think of a better word than that.

She tilted her head and went to explain herself, observing you with almost fascinated expression. “The bond… it’s still very strong. But differently.”

“…that says nothing to us,” Dean deadpanned. Rowena looked at him sharply.

“I’m trying to explain, you dummy. The bond is always there, whether the soulmates met or not – it grows stronger when they are together, working on their relationship. But the power of this one… it feels unusual. It’s not as if they are strengthening it right now, it’s like they are yet about to meet, which I do find understandable. But… this power… it tasted almost electric. I’ve never encountered it before.”

You blinked in shock, the haze surrounding you ever since she started doing her magic thing dispersing. Now you were just dumbfounded.

“What does it mean?” you whispered, reluctant. Neither Dean nor Sam seemed to find the courage to ask.

“I don’t know, darling. Might be the fact you had died. Or you’re simply special.”

Dean cleared his throat loudly. “Right. So, where is her soulmate?”

“New York City,” the witch replied, small smile tugging on her lips while her eyes never left you, too invested in your… anomaly.

Anomaly. No kidding. You had been dead. That was probably it, right? Nothing more. Nothing to worry about. You couldn’t afford to get any weirder.

“That’s it? There are eight million people there!” Sam cried out, throwing his hands in the air.

Rowena’s smile grew.

“Are you attracted to women, darling?”

“Uhm… no, I don’t think so…?” you stuttered, your cheeks reddening at that implication. You were pretty sure you weren’t. Right?

“See, Samuel, then it’s only four million. I don’t suppose she’s destined to fall in love with a baby either, or a senior citizen-“

Dean coughed tactlessly, which earned you a curious look from the witch and Dean a sharp glare from his brother.

You had no doubt Dean thought of your crossed out soulmark. Maybe you couldn’t dismiss that idea yet, but… that was strange, right? You couldn’t find yourself to fall in love with someone who was 95 years old for god’s sake.

“…so that narrows it down, doesn’t it?” the witch continued. “But just because I like you, Samuel, I can tell you he should be on the island of Manhattan.”

“That’s better. Thank you.”

Rowena’s smile turned into a predatory smirk. “Aww, Samuel, you don’t have to thank me. You’ll repay me.”

“Of course we will...” Dean remarked sarcastically, unwillingness mixing with disgust on his face.

There was no hesitation. Thanks to this woman, your soulmate got much realer than ever. Not just a soulmark. Not just a voice. A person living in New York City, Manhattan.

Sam and Dean had been the ones to lead you to her; it was only fair if they didn’t have to suffer the consequences more than they already had.

You stepped towards Rowena, taking a deep breath, hoping to look courageous. You couldn’t deny your fear, but you could show your determination.

“Hey, if you… if you, uhm… take a sip of that soul bond magic you were talking about… will it hurt me much?”

“Why would you ask that, darling?” she asked with sweet innocence despite you being sure she knew the answer.

“No, don’t-!” Sam called out at the same time, springing forward. You stopped him subtly with your hand.

“And if you take it, their debt towards you won’t exist?” you continued, seeing you had intrigued her greatly.

“I suppose not. That would be only fair.”

You bit your lip. One question remained, not less important than the previous ones. “And it wouldn’t affect my soulmate?”

He was a real man, now. A man with a voice and a vague address. This was no joke.

“I promise it will neither hurt you too much, nor will it even scratch your soulmate, darling,” Rowena declared, delighted as she sensed victory.

Your heart didn’t miss a beat; the decision was made. “Take it, then.”

“Natasha!” the brothers cried out simultaneously, not taking what you were offering. You turned to them with an honest smile.

“It’s a small price for what you’ve been doing for me. And it’s not even over yet. It’s alright. Let me start repaying my debt towards you instead of making it grow.”

The sincerity you spoke with must have shown on your face too, because their defensiveness eased a fraction. They grimaced, but didn’t protest further.

Dean’s eyes move to glare at Rowena, hard.

“If it hurts her-“

“Then what, Dean? I would have you on my arse and that’s too annoying, believe me,” she spitted out, her British accent growing even thicker when she got agitated. “Don’t worry about her.”

“It’s our job to worry,” Dean muttered under his breath and everyone decided to ignore it.

Sam’s gaze remained fixed on you, full of concern.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this, Natasha. That’s not how it works. You don’t owe us.”

You were touched by the sentiment, the honesty of his words. If for nothing else, than for the good they carried in their hearts you had to do this.

“I believe you, Sam. You wouldn’t want anything in return. Which is why I have to give it,” you explained softly, glancing at the witch. “What do you want me to do?”

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Sam did not like this. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciat the thought, Natasha not wanting to get them into the position of having the duty to repay Rowena somehow, but… something about how happy Rowena was at the turn of events was unsettling.

“Not much,” Rowena assured the younger woman and took her hand again. “Think about your soulmate again and when you feel a nudge – you’ll recognize when that happens – you just let me in. Simple as that.”

Sam could feel the disapproval radiating from Dean as well and they exchanged a grim look. He knew his brother took a witch killing bullets with him, just in case. They probably wouldn’t truly hurt Rowena, the witch extraordinaire, but it would slow her down if the need arose. Dean wouldn’t take Rowena’s shit.

Despite the easy-going exterior and attitude, Sam knew better. Dean cared for the people they helped. And he grew fond of Natasha very quickly; he hadn’t been kidding when threatening Rowena. Naturally, Sam was with him on that one; he just wasn’t as vocal about it as Dean.

The witch reopened the cut on Natasha’s palm and the woman closed her eyes again. Drops of her blood fell to the bowl as Rowena whispered words in language nearly as old as time. Natasha gasped when red smoke started ascending despite not seeing it. Sam guessed the nudge Rowena had mentioned arrived and was stronger than the poor woman had expected.

Dean’s hand twitched to his side towards the gun and Sam gulped.

Light coloured in warm gold, not unlike the one they had seen during the first spell, started escaping the cut, curling playfully as it hovered above the skin of Natasha’s palm. Rowena cut her own hand and placed it over the glow which danced wildly before being sucked into the witch’s wound.

A breathless whimper escaped Natasha’s lips, while Rowena’s eyes glowed violet in a familiar display of her magic. This time even Sam stepped forward, ready to break whatever process was in motion. Rowena cried out another words, her fingers extending over Natasha’s palm and Sam recognized that nope, this was not supposed to happen.

Before he could as much as lunge after the witch or before Dean could draw his gun, Natasha’s back arched and her injured hand curled into fist with a swift snap, causing the smoke and glow vanish. Rowena gasped and Sam had a fraction of second to notice their new friend’s legs were about to give out again. He jumped behind her, catching her before she crumbled towards the ground, her dead weight all on him.

Dean was already aiming his gun at the witch, expression hard.

“What did you do to her, Rowena?” he demanded sharply, unlocking the safety lock.

Sam readjusted his grip on Natasha as gently as he could, taking her pulse, watching her torso in hope to see her inhale. Luckily, she was still breathing, her heart beating. He shot the witch a murderous glare.

“Probably just passed out,” he informed his brother, but the older hunter didn’t appear mollified. To be fair, neither was Sam. He gritted his teeth. “You wanted to take it all, didn’t you?”

Rowena rolled her eyes.

“Not all of it. Just a little bit more than one sip, maybe.”

Seriously? She wasn’t even denying it?!

“Don’t get your pants in the twist, Winchester. She’ll sleep it off. She’s a sneaky one though – or her soulmate is, I can’t tell. They wouldn’t let me take more…”

Sam didn’t bother fighting the pride that filled him on Natasha’s behalf. Good for her. She was strong. She was a fighter. She wouldn’t have let Rowena to take her soulmate from her. She believed in the bond with the man she didn’t even know too much for that. He smirked; no wonder Dean liked her so much so soon.

“Oh please, put the gun down, Dean. I mean no harm. I should warn you, though. Her soulmate… I believe the power I feel is coming from him. I’ve never encountered it before indeed. You might want to look out,” she noted, healing the cut on her hand with a simple wiggle on her uninjured hand.

“Don’t pretend you care,” Dean spitted out, but lowered the gun, more annoyed at Rowena’s attempts to drain the soul bond than anything else. Things sure would be different if she had truly hurt Natasha.

One corner of Rowena’s lips quirked as she gave them a tiny wave, dismissing them.

“Off you go. The door’s that way. The valets will let you out. She’ll probably be pretty thirsty and hungry when she finally wakes up. Until next time, boys,” she said cheerily and Sam sighed, gathering Natasha in his arms, bridal style.

It wasn’t like she was about to wake up now and walked out on her own, apparently.

Dean glared at Rowena as they left the room, mumbling curses under his breath. “Fucking witches. Every time…”

They stepped into an elevator, the older brother still snarling. “At least she could have healed her too…”

Sam silently agreed as Dean pressed the button to the ground floor and took Natasha’s hand gently to examine the damage then.

Both brothers blinked when they only saw the blood and no wound; Rowena must have healed Nat’s cut. Dean glanced up, meeting Sam’s equally surprised gaze.

“Like I said. Fucking witches.”

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Part 9

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I immensely enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it ;)

Kudos to you ♥ Especially if you’re one of people letting me know your thoughts on the story.

[nad-zeta]

Matchup (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

Hi, can i ask for a ikevamp matchup? I like listening to music, though it can go both ways, my mood affects my music or my music affects my mood. I’m super close with my friends since most of them are my friends for 3+ years, so I’m not that great with new people, though I’m fine with those I’ve met once or twice before. I’m surrounded by close friends and family, so I can be as mischievous and as open as I want to be. I will only be open like that with people I care about, so unless I like someone I will put up a huge wall around them until I feel like I could trust them completely. That being said, I’m pretty strong emotionally, like comforting grieving friends, calming people down without being affected in any way, etc, and people say I give advices that actually works. I’m used to get things on my own, so I can either be a leader or the advisor, which I usually do when I want to be the leader but don’t wanna take responsibility for what I do 😅 and I may know what to do in every situation, but that doesn’t mean I know how to do it 😅

I’m also a lucky charm lol I dont know how but I’m pretty lucky, so my friends often want me on their group for projects and stuff like that or when people open up a new business they will invite me and my mom because somehow people think things go well because I’m around. And an extremely bad habit of mine is that I often take everything lightly, whether it’s getting into a fight or getting failing grades or pulling a huge stunt where me and my whole class working together to skip to get home faster from school (we succeeded every time 👀) maybe it’s because most things in my life have been pretty easy and I feel like I’m always in my comfort zone, and even if I face difficulties, they usually get done on their own so I became pretty optimistic naturally, and because of this people can relax around me since I don’t panic easily, or people get annoyed with me because I don’t take things seriously enough, whether it’s good or bad. And finally, I can have a change of heart EASILY but with a reason. Like, I can think you as the most important person who I care about, but once you betray me or do something I hate, idc I will throw you out of my life. Idc of I’ve known you for years, I can easily act like we’re strangers if l don’t like you anymore, and I usually stand on my ground unless other people convince me otherwise. After years of dealing with so many good and bad things, I have a lot of experience in many types of situations, so I know if something is legit or is it a complete lie. And even if someone usually lies or hides something from me I can understand them whether they give me their reason or not, because I’m understanding and can know the difference whether they blatantly hate me or genuinely can’t tell me about something, which is absolutely fine. I can stay away from you for years and still care for you the next time we meet unless you have a change of heart ❤

I’m sorry if it’s TMI or too little information bc I don’t often send matchup requests 😅 and thank you for doing my matchup if you decide to do this 😊

Hi hi, love! Thank you so much for the request! I hope I didn’t make you wait too long for it! I hope you enjoy it love and I hope you have a wonderful day! Hehe honestly I struggled to figure out who to match you with as at least 3 different people came to mind, but at the end, I finally settled for this special boy! Hope you enjoy it! 

I match you with……….Jean

The two of you don’t meet for a few days the first time you arrive at the mansion. At the news of your arrival, Jean thought it best to lock himself away as he didn’t want to expose such a pure light as yourself, to a monster like himself. He took a liking to you, the first time he saw your radiant smile as he walked into the dining room while you were introducing yourself to everyone. Except you never got a chance to see him, he turned around and went back to his room immediately, however, this didn’t escape the notice of the mansions big brother Napoleon. 

You were rather quiet and reserved, not really engaging all that much with the boys, your walls were on high guard to protect you from potentially getting hurt, besides you were only with the strange group of men for a month and then you had to go back home, so you didn’t want to expose yourself to unnecessary heartbreak. You had however taken a liking to Napoleon who was named your protector after Arthur tried some funny business with you. You worked hard and honestly, Sabastian had been thankful for such a hard-working, diligent colleague

You had been in the Paris of the past for a few weeks now, but haven’t really left the mansion. Comte had invited you to a big lavish ball that one of his friends was throwing and you decided it might be a fun experience. You ran down the mansion stairs expecting to see Napoleon, who was instructed to take you out to town to buy in Comte’s words “a dress fit for a princess,” however instead you saw a beautiful man standing to wait for you. You had heard about Jean but you had yet to meet him and now here he was before you, offering you an arm to escort you to town. You took his arm and the two of you were off to town. Napoleon had already made commitments to teaching the street children, and something inside him told him that you and Jean would really get along, so he stomped his way up to Jean’s room and asked his old friend to escort you to town. He was not keen TBH, but he could never refuse a request from his friend. 

The two of you walked around in silence neither daring to say a word. That, of course, was until you heard some street performers playing the most upbeat music. You followed the sound of the music, Jean trailing slightly behind you, when you came to a stop in front of the performers. You felt like dancing, the music was so uplifting, you just felt like dancing, laughing and soon your mood turned bubbly. The people around you started to dance to the music, you turned to Jean with stars in your eyes, “Jean, would you like to dance.” Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question as before he could answer, you took his hands and started dancing with him. Jean had been to enough balls and banquets with Comte and Napoleon to know the basics. 

Soon he got into the swing of things and started twirling you around, and gently leading you, cause it was clear that you didn’t really know the traditional dances, being from the future. When the last note echoed through the street, you were laughing in delight, having the time of your life. You looked up at Jean and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of his smile, it was absolutely radiant the way the corners of his mouth lifted softly to show you a gentle smile, and little did you know, no one had seen Jean smile since he arrived at the mansion. You were honestly in the best mood, so for the rest of yours and Jean’s shopping trip you talked his ears off. Jean didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but listen to every word, all while wearing that soft fond smile. At the end of the day, the second Jean was back at the mansion his smile faded, and he reverted back as if remembering that he was a monster, he kissed your hand, “Good night mademoiselle, and thank you for a wonderful day.” You beamed up at him and thanked him for making the shopping trip so fun, you definitely didn’t miss that slight blush forming on his cheeks as he turned to move back to his room.

Since that day, strangely enough, you and Jean had run into each other quite often, although these run-ins were orchestrated by the former Emporer of France and the Lord of the mansion. Both had noticed a slight change in Jean after he went on that shopping trip with you and both agreed that you may be exactly what he needs.

For example one day you ran up to Arthur’s room as he yelled out in irritation. You burst through the door to see the most unusual scene before you, Arthur scolding a tiger cub. You looked around the room to see the manuscript of his latest chapters shredded on the floor, his curtains had been scratched to pieces, and the cub appeared to have been playing in mud before making his way into Arthurs room, as muddy paw prints covered the entire room. You placed your hand in front of your mouth to stifle a laugh, you never did take things too seriously, “Hey you, don’t you dare laugh, this is my life’s work”. You giggled a little and told Arthur to lighten up, but when Jean appeared behind you also trying to hold in his laughter at the way you never seem to take things too seriously, you burst out laughing. That’s when Jean couldn’t hold it back any longer and also started laughing, Arthur was sister shook he had never even seen Jean smile let alone laugh. You walked over to the tiger cub and scooped him up in your arms, then you walked over to the mysterious man and took his hand in yours. Before Arthur could even say anything, you bolted to the garden all while laughing. 

You and Jean then went on to bath the little tiger cub together, which ended in a bit of a water fight. When you were with Jean, all your walls were down, and your mischievous personality came out to play, especially when you saw this beautiful boy’s smile. By the end of the day, both you and Jean were soaked to the bone, both of you went to bath and retire to your rooms for the night. When all of a sudden you heard a knock at the door, it was Jean. He had brought you a cup of hot tea and thanked you for helping him clean up his tiger’s mess. You invited him into your room, he sat down awkwardly and looked around your room curiously, he legit had never been in a girls room before. It wasn’t long before the two of you started chatting, and soon dawn had broken, and you realized that you and Jean had been talking the whole night.

You never noticed it before, but you and Jean had spent every single day together since then, chatting and laughing about everything and anything. He loved that you seemed to possess all the luck of the universe and that you would always come to his aid when Arthur was beating him at one or other board game. You would legit team up with Jean and let your luck take care of the rest. Thanks to your incredible luck Arthur had lost a bet to you and Jean and now had to wear his underpants over his regular pants for a week. 

Jean was feeling so confused and overwhelmed with all these new feelings, he had never really known love before having met you and all of it felt so new. One day he decided to tell you how he was feeling, you were always so good at giving out advice, and your presence always had the ability to calm all his fears and anxieties. Once he finished telling you about how he had been feeling towards you lately, you gave him the biggest hug, “I love you to Jean.”

Jean loved your naturally optimistic personality and your ability to bring so much joy into even the saddest of moments. You were always there for him, to reassure him whenever he was having panic or anxiety attacks. He absolutely loved and adored you and had sworn his life and loyalty to you. 

He loved that you never took things seriously, as all he did was take things seriously, so it was like a breath of fresh air to have someone around to help him balance his overthinking mind. After the two of you got together, Jean told you everything, from his dark past to the fact that he saw himself as a monster, undeserving of your love. He legit thought that you were going to push him away and leave him but instead, you kissed him and told him how much you loved him. 

You loved that Jean was always open and honest with you and completely loyal to you. He was also your voice of reason when it came to cutting people out your life for wronging you. The two of you balanced each other out perfectly.

Both Comte and Napoleon were overjoyed that Jean finally found someone to open up to and who loved him unconditionally. You helped Jean heal from all his past traumas and made him a better man. 

Jean loved spending time with you, this soft sweet, sensitive boy would shower you with love and affection from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. He would often surprise you with breakfast in bed, or drop a small chaste kiss on your lips whenever the two of you run into each other in the hallways

The two of you absolutely love just being snuggled up together chatting about your day. Jean loves to hold you in his strong arms and nuzzle into your neck as you sit in his lap and read. Often the two of you can be found in a coffee shop holding hands and reading. On rare occasions, the two of you can also be found pulling pranks on some of the mansion residents as payback for the pranks that they would pull on the two of you. 

Ultimately Jean is most happy when you are resting in his lap after a long day of housework. He would pull his fingers through your soft silky hair and send up a silent prayer to God thanking him for sending him his own lovely guardian angel, to love, hold and cherish for the rest of his life

Other potential matches………… Napoleon 

I hope you enjoyed it dear! 

@miss-wish-a-lot

[saybees]

Some rather personal and tmi stuff, but I feel like I need to get it out somewhere and I don’t have anyone I really feel I can talk to about this now. It’s very long.

I’d like to start by saying that if you’re reading this please don’t tell me to just dump him. It isn’t that simple and it just isn’t helpful to say that to me.

So Jon and I have had issues in the past with porn. Jon has a porn addiction. I didn’t discover this until maybe a year into our relationship when I walked into the bathroom one day and he was watching porn and masturbating. At first I was more shocked than anything and didn’t know how to react, but it quickly turned into feeling really hurt.

I tried to talk to him about it and told him that it bothered me that he was doing that and it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and our sex was too boring for him. It made me feel so inadequate that he had to go somewhere else for that stuff. He didn’t see the issue with it and because porn has become so normalized in our society and he has maintained that he doesn’t understand why it’s an issue for me, despite that I have explained to him many times that it really bothers me and makes me feel shitty. It feels like cheating.

Eventually I asked him to leave the bathroom door open when he goes in there because I didn’t really trust him. That didn’t stop him, however, and he continued to masturbate to porn in the bathroom even though the door was cracked open. I caught him and was really upset. It hasn’t happened again since I caught him with the door open.

I can’t even count how many times we have had this conversation/argument. It just hurts a lot and I really am so tired of having this talk with him. I asked my therapist that I used to see if I was being unreasonable and she said I wasn’t. She fully agreed with me that I wasn’t asking too much of him to stop doing it.

He doesn’t do it at home anymore, but I’m pretty sure he does when he’s at work. He’ll take a washroom break and very likely will do it then because he accidentally let it slip recently that he still masturbates. He tried very hard to redirect and I pretended I didn’t notice, but it’s been eating at me.

It wouldn’t bother me so much if he didn’t have a porn problem. I just feel like he doesn’t find me attractive or sexy. We don’t have sex very often at all and I pretty much always have to initiate it, which reinforces those feelings that I’m not what he wants. I don’t feel sexy enough or pretty enough and I’ve always had issues with feeling like I have an ugly face so this really makes it worse.

He used to follow lots of Instagram models, but has since unfollowed a lot of them, although there are still two at least that I’m pretty sure are Instagram models. Their accounts are private and I’m not going to follow them to find out what’s up. I’ll only hurt my own feelings even more than I did just going through the list of people he follows on Instagram.

I know I should talk to him about it again, but I am just so sick of having this conversation with him. Neither of us want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to because he feels guilty about it (obviously, since he has been hiding it) and I don’t want to talk about it anymore because the whole thing just makes me feel so terrible.

There was one incident where Jon had downloaded Tinder behind my back and he was showing me something on his phone when a notification popped up and it turned into me feeling like he was cheating and I cried and then he cried and it was a whole thing. He deleted it and hasn’t done anything like that since, but he didn’t include on his profile that he was in a relationship and wouldn’t give me an explanation as to why and he just wouldn’t say much other than that he wanted to make friends and talk to people, but it was just horrible and traumatic for me and for some reason I let him convince me that he was genuine and I stayed, although I really question that decision sometimes because it still deeply bothers me and I’m not entirely convinced he wouldn’t cheat on me after that. I just have a very hard time trusting him after the Tinder thing and the porn stuff. And I just feel like we didn’t really get to the bottom of that whole issue, but it feels like it was too long ago to talk about it again despite that it still bothers me.

I know we have to talk about it more, but I just don’t want to fucking do this anymore. I’m exhausted.

We might be moving to a different place in town here at some point and if he does end up buying another house I’m going to have to talk to him about this and if he isn’t willing to give up porn completely then I won’t be moving with him and I’ll stay in our current rental and we will be done because I know I will not be happy being with him for the rest of our lives if he can’t quit porn and I’ll always have to worry about it.

I did some googling and found countless articles of women (and others) saying they felt shitty that their men/partners watched porn behind their backs. So many other people who feel the same as I do and have been damaged by this kind of thing. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this, but it’s so terrible that so many people feel like this. It hurts a lot.

I’ve done some light research on the negative effects of porn and it really does seem to be very harmful, particularly for relationships. And I know he has been watching porn since he was very young, he’s talked to me about it before. I do truly believe porn is incredibly harmful and it is FAR too easy to get access to it. I feel like porn has hurt our relationship and our sex life a lot.

For our anniversary one year I even did a boudoir shoot by myself at home and made him a little book with sexy photos of me and gave it to him and he said he loved it, but he hasn’t looked at it since I gave it to him. That’s a real punch to the gut.

There was one other incident where our one friend, a lesbian, sent him and a few others a snapchat video of her making out with another girl that he used to hang out with when they were younger and they weren’t wearing tops (this girl is wild and does all kinds of stupid shit when she drinks, which is all the time) and he saved it for later. I found out because she had called him crying because someone she sent it to recorded it and sent it around to other people and everybody found out about it and this other girl had a boyfriend, but anyway he told me what was going on and he went to pull it up to show me, but she had deleted it and he told me he had saved it. I asked why and at first he lied and said he saved it so she could see it later and maybe think about what she had done, but I saw through that pretty quick. Eventually he admitted to me that he had fantasized about a threesome with those two girls and that’s why he saved it. This was not too long ago. Like late 2020. I was mad and needed some time to think and told him we would talk about it, but eventually I just told him that I didn’t want to have this discussion again (which I shouldn’t have done because I let him off the hook basically) and that if he felt like he needed to hide something from me that should be enough to know he shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. With that he said okay and we never talked about it again.

I just feel like I’m putting a lot into this relationship and he isn’t being considerate of me here. He makes excuses as to why he feels like he has to get off all the time and that it helps him wake up in the mornings or that he functions better once he’s done it (untrue, he functions the same no matter what) and it drives me up a wall that he will choose that over having sex with me?????? Like, hi hello I am a human woman(adjacent) and I am willing to have sex with you literally whenever you want!!!!!! And you’ll still choose watching porn and jerking off instead??????????????????????! Yeah, I totally feel like you want me. I totally feel loved and feel like you find me attractive. Yep. You watch porn of women who are a million times more beautiful and sexy than I will ever be and they do things I could never do or just don’t want to do and you’ll choose that over ME and tell me that you do think I’m attractive and sexy and that you love me, but you hardly actually prove that to me.

He doesn’t call me pretty unless I basically ask him to, which sucks because if I ask for the compliment it doesn’t feel real, but if I don’t ask I’ll never hear it. He is quite affectionate with me generally, cuddling up and stuff, holding my hand sometimes when driving, that type of stuff, but I almost never hear him, unprompted, tell me I’m pretty.

I don’t know, it just really bothers me and of course I have to be feeling like this right in the morning when I have a ton of school work I should do. I just feel really sad now. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I don’t know who to go to for advice. My best buddy Ryan is having kinda the same issue with his girlfriend, but they both watch porn (they don’t live together like Jon and I do) and she has been feeling insecure about Ryan’s porn habits, but she also watches porn and I know they had a talk about it all the other day, but I don’t feel like it’s any of my business to ask how it went or anything because it just straight up isn’t, but Ryan is who I have primarily talked to about this whole thing and he’s been very sympathetic to me about it and idk I just don’t know what to do or who to turn to. The last time I talked to my therapist it was about this whole thing and she basically told me to do my own research and that she didn’t have anything else to say to me about it (because we had talked about it multiple times) and that felt really shitty and like I wasn’t allowed to still be having this issue so I stopped going to her and haven’t seen anyone else since.

I love him a lot, I really do, and we get along really well, usually, but this just hurts a lot and I know I should never have put up with as much as I have. I should have set more boundaries and been firmer with them. It feels so fucking bad that he’s done this time and time again and gone behind my back with this shit and I keep talking to him about it and it keeps happening.

I’ve mostly avoided talking about this here because it feels so personal and gross and like I shouldn’t talk about it (that’s that Christian guilt). I hate that society makes sex and related issues to be such a dirty topic and that we can’t talk about it because I feel really alone and shitty about this. I try to push it down and ignore it, but it’s so hard to do and I’m just really sad...

[chrmdnbeautiful]

Depression... maybe TMI?

With what’s going on in our world right now, I have been seeing a lot of posts about mental illnesses. I know so many people that are affected by some mental illness and I know even more that have no idea what it’s like to be locked in with our demons. 

My depression may not look like someone else’s. It might be hard for you to believe that I even suffer from it or anxiety. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first. Depression affects everyone differently. For some, depression is no big deal, a mood... they might feel down in the dumps because of something that happened, but the feeling usually fades with time. For others it’s an illness that they have to deal with day in and day out, kind of like a persistent cough that may never go away. You can manage it, but not always be cured of it. 

Some days it feels like I’m drowning. Like I’m in the middle of the Pacific trying with all my might to make it to the shore. I’m physically a strong swimmer, but sometimes, emotionally, I’m just too tired to keep swimming and I fall beneath the surface. Fighting yourself every day is utterly exhausting. My worst enemy is not some mean girl from high school who tried to ruin my life, it’s me, myself, and I. Logically, I know that devil on my shoulder, that looks and sounds just like me, is just a big, fat liar. But damn if she isn’t a convincing bitch!

There are people in my life that have a hard time believing that I’ve been fighting this illness since I was ten years old. You’re so happy all the time. Kids that age don’t even know what depression is. Ten year olds have no reason to feel hopeless, like they’re better off dead. All I can say is, tell that to any child who has suffered from trauma. There are probably a lot more than you even realize. I’ll give you that I didn’t understand what I was feeling back then, but I was sure as hell feeling it. There are people in my life that choose to look no further than the smile I plaster on my face because I don’t want to feel like a burden and they don’t want to believe I have demons inside me that I can’t defeat. Other people see what’s going on and what to help but don’t know how. I appreciate these people but sometimes they end up making things worse.

Members of my own family choose to ignore the very serious illness I have been fighting for over twenty years, the very same one that has led to three, let me say that again for the people in the back, THREE suicide attempts. They would rather believe that I’m being dramatic, seeking attention rather than have a serious illness. 

People try to help when they say things like it will get better or you’ll be alright. I know all of that, but in those moments when the darkness surrounds me, tries to suffocate me, I don’t feel like I will ever make it out. I will not just get over the trauma that I suffered, I will always carry that around like a scar on my heart. It’s going to take a lot of work before I can live my life without the black cloud of my abuse hanging over my head. Something I have only recently started to do willingly. Therapy only works if you want it to, I fought it for so long. The third attempt at taking my life scared me enough to seek help on my own for the first time in my life. It’s helping, but it’s not taking the pain away. I can’t make it go away, no matter how much I may want to. People just don’t seem to understand that sometimes though, I just want to scream it in their faces, but I choose not because I know they are only trying to help. I just wish they realized I can’t just snap my fingers and make my pain and anxiety disappear. That would be a cool trick if I could though, right?

My mom put me in therapy when I was twelve years old because she knew there was more to the never ending rivers of tears and constant tantrums, the separation anxiety, and the unusual social distancing. She knew that I needed more help than she could give me dealing with the big feelings left behind by the abuse I suffered for so long. She was the only one that understood that I was dealing with a weight heavier than anything I’d ever tried to carry on my own, that if we weren’t careful that weight could crush me.

My mom died when I was sixteen though, taking the one person that could see through the smiles and into my dying insides. Since then, no one has been able to help me the same way, no one can get inside the haze of self hatred to help me. My brothers, there are six of them, won’t even acknowledge there is a serious problem. I’ve been on my own in the world and in the darkness since I was sixteen. Sure, there have been people that wanted to help, but no one ever sticks around long enough to get past my walls and my trust issues, it just becomes too much of a chore. And I can’t say that I really blame them. I get tired of the shit in my head too. 

People leaving is something I have grown used to. People always leave. Even my abuser chose to leave, not because he got caught or because he suddenly grew a conscience, but because he found someone else to abuse. In his words, someone better than me. I’m almost ashamed that part of me was happy that he stopped hurting me, that he found another little girl to fill my spot. Not that I wanted her to hurt, but I just wanted to stop hurting. Then there is that other part, the part I’m most ashamed of, I was sad and hurt that he chose someone else. It was like I wasn’t good enough because his attention went somewhere else. How screwed up is that?! It has become a trend in my life too, I know I deserve better than the backstabbing friends, the emotionally and sometimes physically abusive men, the lying and cheating bastards who trick me. But what if that’s all I can ever get?

My husband, who I have been with for the last ten years (married nine), doesn’t even know the extent of my deep, dark hole because I have learned my lesson in the past, if he knew too much he would leave too. My brothers choose not to know what’s going on, but even if I did tell them, they would get the lite version. I do not want to be a burden, especially to those I love. 

My mom was the glue that held our family together. She was the reason we had relationships with our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Since she passed, I’ve rarely talked to the extended members of my family. None of them know just how screwed up I am and I am never going to tell them. The stigma of mental illness is like a glaring sign in front of me, don’t tell them because they will look at you differently. There was a lot of drama surrounding my mom’s death too, which didn’t help the fragile state of our relationships. My brothers (the two oldest were hers, the rest belong to my dad) and I talk but it’s never about anything important. Well, except the one time I had to have surgery because I felt they needed to know in case I didn’t wake up. We never go too deep. It’s more like hey, how ya doing? We miss you. How are the kids? The husband? Okay, talk to you in a few months. The few times I have broached the subject with any one of my brothers about my therapy sessions, it’s always why are you going to therapy? You don’t need therapy. Life is not that hard. Our family (both sides of it, my mom’s and my dad’s) doesn’t believe in going to a stranger to fix our problems. Must be that machismo thing. Filipinos and Mexicans both suffer from it. After that though, the conversation gets too uncomfortable. They don’t want to hear the dirty details of my trauma, and I don’t really like telling them about it anyway. First, it’s embarrassing as hell and second, I’m worried about what they might think.

That’s not so much the depression but the anxiety. I worry about everything all the time. I’m worried if I’m doing something wrong. I’m worried if I’m going to say the wrong thing. I’m worried if someone is going to take something I say or do the wrong way and hate me forever. I’m worried if I’ll be about to say the right thing. I’m worried if today is the day that I wake to find that my husband has left because he decided I am too messed up to deal with. I’m worried that my children will see beyond the happy facade I try to put up mostly for their benefit. I’m worried that everyone will see me for the fraud I am, I’m not good enough but I have gotten good at faking it. What happens when Dorothy looks behind the curtain to realize the wizard is just a man? What happens when they figure out that I’ve been lying to them for the last twenty years? I do everything for him, even the simplest tasks seem to fall on my shoulders. I give everything I can to being a good mom, and I feel like I fall short every day. Every time I raise my voice to my thirteen year old daughter who has been my rock since she was born, every time I snap at my ten year old son who has ADHD, I prove that I was not cut out for this mom thing. My kids are missing out on the childhood they deserve, the kind of childhood their peers have because I can’t function like other parents. My anxiety in large groups, hell my anxiety outside of my bed, my safe zone, keeps me from taking them to do fun things or even going to the park. It’s hard to enjoy an outing when I always feel like someone is out to get me, when it’s really my mind trying to beat me down. I try to be a good friend, but my family gets most of me, I have little patience and I’m irritable so much of the time, it doesn’t take much to set me off. I try to be a good sister but there is a lot of resentment there and even more worry about how they are going to react to something I say. I don’t know if they want to talk to me, I don’t know if they only do to appease some familial obligations. I don’t know that they even like me most of the time. I know they love me, we’re family, we share blood, of course they love me. But if we didn’t share DNA would they even talk to me?

Depression and anxiety are very real. They may not look all that bad because those who suffer from them are Emmy-worthy actors. Most days, I’m smiling and look happy, laughing my butt off so much that I’ve been nicknamed Giggles at work, I constantly have people commenting on how often I smile. So much so, they notice when I don’t. On the inside though, I’m exhausted and just want to give up. To be perfectly honest, if it weren’t for my daughter I would have been dead at eighteen. She saved my life. My kids are my everything, they are the only reason I get out of bed every day to fight a new fight with my demons. They are the only reason I go to work every day. They are the only reason I eat dinner every night, because I need to feed them. They are the only reason I get in the shower every night before bed, because I need to set a good example for them. The are the only reason I force myself to act like a functioning human being. Because let’s be serious, that’s all it really is, I’m acting. Day in and day out, I pretend that I wasn’t abused for so much of my childhood, I pretend that the pain of losing the one person I could count on in the world isn’t killing me every day, I pretend that the people who have given up on me didn’t chip away at what was left of my mangled heart, I pretend that I’m happy and that my mind doesn’t constantly wonder if those around me would be better off if I was dead.

My therapists and psychiatrists always look at me funny when I say that. Well, I don’t know how your children could be better off without you in this world. That devil I mentioned earlier? She is damn good at justifying just about anything. I’m screwing them up, I’m not a good mom anyway, they’d be better off with someone else raising them. Now, I do have an angel to match that devil sitting on the opposite shoulder, but she looks and sounds a lot like my mom instead of me. She is much quieter and only speaks up when the devil seems to be winning. Which I have to say hasn’t happened as much as it used to since my babies came into this world. The angel tells me that I have to fight for my kids’ sake, til the bloody fucking end if necessary. I can’t leave them with the memory of my suicide. As shitty a mom as I am, I am still their mother and they love me. If I kill myself, I would hurt them and I refuse to do that if I can help it. 

My depression maybe not look like yours, or his, or even hers, but it is a very real thing. I can’t just blink or wiggle my nose and make it all disappear. I’m not just being dramatic or seeking attention. I’m tired of pretending that I’m not broken on the inside because the people around me are uncomfortable with it. I’m sorry but just imagine what it’s like to live in my head for a moment. On the outside, I’m cool, calm even and inside, I’m wondering if I’m good enough, if the person I’m talking to is waiting for me to shut the hell up so they can walk away. I’m wondering if they’re laughing at me, storing up details to retell to others later. I’m wondering if I’m going to look down on my funeral and see them there grieving for me. I wonder all the time if I’m going to die alone because I’m not enough for the people who are supposed to love me. I’m wondering if I should just go kill myself and save the people I love the burden of dealing with me. I carry these thoughts and feelings of inadequacy with me every moment of every day. The devil on my shoulder tells me every day, multiple times a day that I won’t be missed and she is so convincing that I believe her. But then the angel is there to remind me of the babies I brought into this world and how much they still need their mama. 

It’s a constant battle in my head, for every demon I slay there are three more to replace it. Constant noise and racing thoughts in my head that I can’t always control. I’m pretty good at keeping that control, but every now and then my grip slips and the proof of this illness is there for everyone to see. Oh, you’re just having a bad day, right? Except, it’s so much more than that. It’s one of those hard days where I’m not strong enough to beat the demons back. It’s like I have a bunch of marbles under a cup, I can keep them in line while I have the cup and everything is good, I can pretend that I’m normal, I can smile and laugh like I’ve never had a problem in my life. But sometimes my demons are stronger than me, they knock the cup from my hands and my marbles go in every direction and I have to figure out how to corral them back under the cup before I completely lose my shit. Sometimes, I’m just so tired of fighting my demons and I was to give in, I want to let them rip me to shreds. Sometimes, I crave the peace I would get from death. Maybe, just maybe, if I’m dead I will finally be able to breathe, to rest.

I’m sorry this was so much. I’m sorry that I shared more than any of you probably wanted to know about me. But if you know someone with depression, reach out to them. Especially at times like these, they may do a good job of hiding it, but I’ll bet their struggling. You don’t have to fix them, just let them know that they’re not alone in this big, scary place. I don’t need anyone to fix me, I don’t need anyone to fight my demons for me, but it’d be nice to have someone to hold my hand through the darkness. Imagine being on a roller coaster and the scariest part of the ride takes you through a dark tunnel. I just need someone to hold my hand through the tunnel. I just want someone there to let me know I’m not alone. Because no matter how many people suffer from the same condition, no matter how many people tell you that they’re there for you if you need them, it doesn’t feel like it. Don’t talk about it, be about it. Don’t just say you’ll be there for someone, show up. Hold their hand, let them cry on your shoulder, feed them junk food, talk about silly things just to get their minds off it, take them for an adventure even if they don’t want to go. Just be there.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. <3

[alj4890]

Love/Song/Kiss Prompt

(Matt Rodriguez x Addison Sinclaire) with the song Señorita and the prompts of sleeping in and a shy kiss as requested by @krsnlove​

(Matt Rodriguez x Addison Sinclaire) and (Chris Winters x OC*Shannon Wright *HWU mc*) A Choices: Red Carpet Diaries Fan Fiction

A/N This song seems made for them. I went back to the Hollywood University days for this one and have my MC from that story app working with Addison for their final project for Professor Hunt. 

tagging a few other RCD folks: @lilyofchoices​ @moodyvalentinestories​ @desireepow-1986​

Masterlist

A Free Moment

Matt stepped into his trailer and peeled off the soaked t-shirt. He tossed it in a pile with the seven exact others. Today's shoot was brutal in the Miami heat. Add multiple pyrotechnics, and he had been more than happy being blown into the Atlantic Ocean.

With his new status as the number one action star in Hollywood, he had been offered numerous roles. He was terrified to step out of his comfort zone and try something new. What if he lost the chance to act? As much as he wanted to try something with fewer explosives and cheesy lines, he didn't feel the timing was right.

He paused drying off and opened his door.

"Here's the shooting schedule for next week." The assistant director handed him a sheet of paper

"I don't have a scene?" Matt asked.

"Martin thought you could use a break." He replied. "He wants you back the week after."

A grin formed on Matt's face. "Tell him I appreciate it." He shut the door and thought about what he might like to do with his free time.

***********

The next morning...

"Addi!" Shannon exclaimed. "We overslept!"

"Huh?" Addison lifted her head and rubbed her eyes. She reached for her alarm clock and shot up. "No! We missed our flight!"

"I know." Shannon dropped her head in her hands. "I can't believe it. Hunt is going to fail us for missing class. I just know it." Her panic grew. "Addi! We won't graduate in May!"

Addison shook her head. "We'll tell him we needed to stay longer to make sure we accurately depict club life in Miami for our short film."

Shannon flopped back on her pillow. "We are so screwed."

"Shannon!" Addison threw her pillow at her. "Who cares if Hunt fails us?"

"Me! I care!" Shannon argued. "I want to be taken seriously as an actress. Everyone knows if you study under Hunt that you can pretty much walk onto any set and be hired."

Addison hugged another pillow to her chest. "I promise to make this right. You'll become a famous actress. You'll marry another famous actor and have picture perfect babies."

Shannon snorted in her laughter. "Yeah right. 'Cause famous actors like Chris Winters are secretly holding out for someone like me."

"It could happen." Addison mumbled.

"It could." Shannon's brown eyes twinkled with mischief. "Right after I build the first apartment building on Mars."

"You really enjoyed that class project of building our own sets." Addison picked up her phone and silently ran through ways to get Hunt to excuse them.

Shannon sat up. "I know your powers of persuasion are extraordinary, but you haven't ever tested them out on Professor Hunt."

"You're making me so much more nervous." Addison pressed the call button under the grumpy professor's number.

It rang three times before his sharp voice answered.

"Hey Professor!" Addison said in her syrupy sweet voice.

"Ms. Sinclaire." Thomas replied. "I assume you are calling about an extension." 

“Wow.” Addison said. “You must be part psychic.”

Shannon slapped her hand to her forehead. Hunt was going to throw them out of the university. She could practically see her degree going up in flames.

"More like that is the only reason students call." He corrected. "What reason are you about to give to keep me from marking zeros next to your name and Ms. Wright's?"

"Remember when we said our film was going to be a romance set amongst Miami's night life?" She began.

"Of course." He grumbled. "I also remember asking why you thought Miami would be the best setting for this story?"

"Ha! Yeah." Addison responded nervously. "Anywho, we decided to spend Spring Break in Miami to work on our film."

Silence was all she heard.

"And we, uh, need another few days to film the final act." She quickly said.

Shannon pulled a pillow over her face. They were doomed.

"I see." Hunt replied in a deadly serious tone.

"I promise, professor, that we have been hard at work this whole time." Addison pleaded. "We wanted our location to add another level to the story: two tourists meet and fall in love, then part ways knowing the promises to see each other again are not going to happen."

Shannon sat up and leaned closer to hear his response.

"Normally I would end the conversation with a do not bother darkening the classroom door. You have to learn that delays should be avoided at all cost when filming." He cleared his throat. "As it so happens, I have to cancel classes next week. I've been asked to be one of the judges for a film festival in Cordonia."

Shannon covered her mouth as she jumped up and down on her bed. Addison bounced on her own at the miracle. "That's awesome, Professor!"

"Yes, well, I expect your finished film to be waiting on my return the following Monday. Understood?" His tone dripped with icy disdain.

"It'll be there." Addison promised. "Thanks again Professor."

He grunted a goodbye.

Addison dropped back on her bed and kicked her feet into the air. "Woo! That was a close one."

***********

Matt sipped his drink while looking out at the packed South Beach nightclub. He had asked around the set on where he should go for a night out and everyone had recommended LIV. It was certainly interesting.

He had already spotted a handful of celebrities in film, music, and even a few athletes. He wished he saw someone that was an actual friend or at least someone he enjoyed being around.

He motioned for the bartender and ordered a refill. His attention dropped to the petite blonde that suddenly appeared beside him.

Her bright smile seemed contagious.

"Two tequila sunrises, please." She yelled out over the music. Her hips moved in time to the beat of the current song. She looked around at the patrons then finally lifted her eyes up at him.

His smile appeared making her blink.

He's...so...wow, she thought.

She smiled back.

He leaned down. "Hello."

Her eyes lowered. "Hi."

"Are you here with someone?" He asked.

"Just my friend." She pointed over where Shannon was. Her friend was dancing near the edge of the dance floor and it seemed that she had caught the attention of--

"Is that Chris Winters?!" Addison exclaimed.

"I think so." Matt chuckled at her shock. "Would you like to meet him?"

She twirled back around toward him. "You know Chris Winters?"

"Yeah, after we did that buddy cop film, Hickey and Marks, we--"

Addison covered her mouth. "You're Matt Rodriguez!"

He nodded. "And you are?"

"Matt Rodriguez!" She repeated in shock. She should have known who he was the moment she saw that sexy smile. "I have a poster of you shirtless over my bed." She dropped her head at that TMI.

"Really?" His smile couldn't get any bigger.

"Er, let's forget that last part." She let out a nervous laugh. "I'm Addison."

He shook her hand. "Want to dance?"

"Are you kidding? Of course!" Addison picked up her drinks and told him she needed to take this over to Shannon first.

He followed her and yelled out to Chris.

The actor looked around before spying Matt. His own highly recognizable smile popped up when he saw his old friend. He glanced at the beautiful brunette who was still oblivious to him.

Shannon looked past him when Addison called out to her. She squeezed past people trying to get out on the floor and ended up plastered against Chris.

Shannon looked up to apologize and froze.

Her shock brought out a chuckle.

"I--I am--so sorry." She stuttered.

"I'm not." He replied, his dimples deepening with his smile. "I have been spending fifteen minutes over here trying to work up the nerve to ask you to dance."

"You--me--here?" She took a deep breath and tried again. "You want to dance with me?"

His arms wrapped around her waist. "I'm just waiting on a slow song."

"Oh my--"

"Hi!" Addison looked back and forth at the two. "I brought Matt Rodriguez and a drink over."

Without taking her eyes off of Chris's face, Shannon took the offered glass. "Thank you."

Addison's lips curved in an excited smile. She just had the most brilliant idea ever. "Chris! How would you like to act out a scene with Shannon?"

"Who?" He mumbled still looking into Shannon's rich brown eyes.

"The one in your arms." Addison pointed out.

"I'd love to." He quickly responded. "As long as you would like me to."

"I would." Shannon managed to say. "It's a love scene for our student film project."

He pulled her closer. "Then we should rehearse." 

Shannon’s lips parted with no words in response.

Matt watched his friend with a great deal of shock. Chris never acted like this with women. "He must have fallen hard." He whispered to Addison.

"I think she has too." She whispered back.

She set her empty glass down. "Come on." She took his hand and led him to the dance floor.

**************

The next few days found the four working on the girls' final project before graduation.

Days and nights were filled with getting to know one another and deciding how best to present their film. Matt helped Addison with all the behind the scenes while Chris coached Shannon with her acting. With the guys' input and star power along with Miami's setting, a film worthy to be shown in cinemas was created.

**************

Matt's suite...

"I can't believe it." Shannon threw her arms around Addison. She started hopping up and down with her as they watched the credits roll. "We did it! We made a movie!"

"I know!" Addison squealed some more. "I can't wait to get on that plane tomorrow."

Chris and Matt's delighted smiles dimmed.

"You leave tomorrow?" Matt asked.

The girls froze, realizing what that meant.

"Yeah." Addison's shoulders slumped.

Chris rubbed the back of his neck while looking at Shannon. "I won't be back in Hollywood for at least another two months."

Matt frowned. "A month for me if I'm lucky."

Shannon sat down on the couch. All her earlier joy had disappeared. "Oh."

"We still have tonight." Addison reminded them.

Chris straightened up and walked over to Shannon. "If you guys don't mind, I would like some time alone with Shannon. I--" he paused when she lifted her face up. "We need to make plans for when I return to California."

Shannon looked questionably at Addison and grinned when her friend nodded. "I'll see you back in our room Addi."

Once the couple were gone, Matt sat down beside Addison. "Is there anything you would like to do on our last night?"

She shook her head. "No." Her shy smile appeared. "I've had so much fun hanging out with you."

"Me too." His heartbeat skipping smile popped up. "I know we never really went on a date--"

"No. We didn't." She muttered, not even bothering to hide her disappointment.

"I don't suppose that once I'm back in L.A. that you might want to go out with me." He waited, his eyes touching on her face framed by her sun streaked golden curls.

Her bright blue eyes twinkled with mischief. "I might want to." She leaned closer toward him. "What would a date with Matt Rodriguez look like?"

His arm curved around her shoulders. "Pretty normal. Dinner. Dancing." He lowered his lips close to her cheek. "It's the ending that really makes it special."

She realized she had stopped breathing with that soft kiss touching her cheek. "Really? And how do these typically end."

Matt turned her face toward his. Their lips met and Addison pulled away, suddenly shy.

"You've probably kissed a dozen or so beautiful, talented women." She bit down on her bottom lip. "I'm more of a friend to guys like you--"

He captured her lips again. She melted against him under the passion he was conjuring with such a kiss. He lifted his head and met her awed gaze.

"Sorry Addison, but we will never be friends." He told her, smiling when she yanked him back for another kiss.

[violetsmoak]

maybe this is how it starts [2/?]

Cover & Disclaimer 

Author’s Note: Sorry it took so long since the last update. I ended up deciding not to pants this thing and just do whatever with the chapters, but I went and found an honest-to-goodness plot. Go me! So, to further said plot, have some Jason and Roy Bromance. Because as far as I’m concerned, the best jaytim fics I’ve read always have Roy and Jason doing their girl-talk thing.

The Red Hood’s base of operations is in a bomb shelter beneath the One Police Plaza in Gotham. It’s chilly inside, which doesn’t bother Jason under normal circumstances, but then everything is pissing him off today.

There are a lot of things Jason has learned to endure over the years—torture, death, total mental and physical exhaustion, unending moral dilemmas…

All of them are just more of what life has to throw at him and what he responds to with a smirk and the middle finger. Physical limitations are something for lesser men—men who were never trained by Batman or the League of Assassins.

And yet…

If there’s anything that might drive him almost to the point of Lazarus-Pit-crazy, it’s itching.

“It’s decided. I’m going to kill Ivy,” he growls, slopping another handful of aloe vera over the expanse of his arm, leaning back so as not to drip the green gel onto his keyboard.

Whatever was in the venom from the vampire-plant hybrids, the rash has lingered for the whole week without a sign of improving. He has a peevish hope that Tim is having a worse time of it, since it’s his fault Jason is even in this situation to begin with.

Can’t even fucking go on patrol without wanting to tear my skin off every goddamn minute.

He’s been trying to fill the time doing the whole research schtick for a few of his ongoing cases but has barely even been able to focus on that. It’s irritating and leaves him alone with his thoughts much more than he’s comfortable with.

It’s been three months of pushing down any acknowledgement of what happened. That for the first time in his life, Dick Grayson is dead. Not somewhere being Nightwing or filling in as Batman, but dead. His predecessor-mentor-not-brother-but-yeah-sorta-brother got himself unmasked and killed.

Jason is not entirely sure how to deal with the new reality, and it’s possible he’s been more adrift than he would ever admit. But the cure to that is denial and distraction, which is why when the giant screen in front of him fills up with a picture of Roy making finger guns, he accepts the vid call.

“I swear to God, Roy, if you’re calling to tell me you’ve been evicted again and need money,” he trails off, feigning annoyance despite being glad for the interruption.

“Hello to you too, sweetheart,” his best friend replies dryly, fiddling with something metallic and sprouting wires. He squints at Jason. “Dude, what’s with your arm? That rash is fugly.”

“Compliments of a soon-to-be-dead Poison Ivy and an idiot in a cape.”

“Heh. Which idiot?”

“The one who’s supposed to be the smart one.”

Roy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t ask for clarification, either because he knows who Jason is talking about or because he knows he won’t get an answer. “That’s more polite than you’d usually put it. You feelin’ okay?”

“No, I’m not feeling okay, I’ve spent the last week scratching my nuts off!”

“Man, come on! TMI!”

“You know what I mean.” Jason rubs his back against his chair, seeking relief from a spot he can’t reach to scratch. “Fuck Ivy…”

“I thought you liked Ivy.”

“Respect. I respect Ivy. I don’t like her.”

“How did you even end up running into her? I mean, greenspaces aren’t exactly your thing.”

“I told you already, I was saving the moron in the cape. Who’s damn lucky I did, because I wasn’t even going to take that route last night.”

All because he’d (not that he’d admit it) been thinking about Dick. Which he had been for months now, a fact which he’s pretty sure influenced him to help Bruce and the rest of them go on that suicide mission to get back Damian Wayne’s body. He’s still a little in shock that the whole thing ended in the kid’s resurrection and not a second explosive and painful death. But then, he’s living proof that it’s possible, so maybe he shouldn’t be.

Roy must sense the direction of his thoughts, because he changes the subject. “So, have you given anymore thought to that idea I had?”

Jason gives himself a mental shake.

“No. Because going after Kori reeks of desperation, and you’re better than that.”

“Am I? Am I really?” Jason exchanges looks with Roy, who then sighs. “Fine. So how long are you hanging around Gotham? Because, by my count, this is the longest consecutive amount of time you’ve spent there since before you died. Family hasn’t grounded you, have they?”

Jason scowls. “They’re not my family.”

“Right, okay, sure. That’s why whenever there’s a fart jammed out that way, you go running—shit!” One of the devices he’s working on emits a minor explosion.

“I go back because it’s my city and I have stuff to take care of.”

Rapists and human traffickers won’t break their own kneecaps.

“And because the Bats are your family.”

“I’m going to shoot you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“That was an accident, and you know it. This time it would be on purpose,” Jason grunts, using the heel of his hand against his arm. He winces when the action brings on equal parts of relief and pain, since his skin’s already been clawed almost raw.

Roy snorts in disbelief.

Jason pauses for another moment, considering his best friend, and then decides what the hell, they aren’t the type to keep secrets from each other.

“Demon brat’s alive,” he says at last.

Roy startles, dropping his soldering iron. “Whoa. No shit?”

He was the one who showed up to drag Jason out of the bars he’d practically destroyed in the days directly following the kid’s death. He knows the exact depths to which Jason was or wasn’t affected.

“No shit. It was this whole…thing. Ninjas and boom tubes and a Chaos Shard.” He doesn’t mention the overly-sentimental team-up with the Bats, or the surreal “birthday” dinner afterward. Damian and Tim had been almost pleasant to each other, and Jason had caught Bruce watching him with such overwhelming gratitude in his eyes he’d had to duck out early.

It’s still weird to him when he sees anything other than judgement in the older man’s eyes.

Roy whistles. “Damn. He okay?”

“I didn’t really stick around for the group therapy session. I’d say so—the little shit got superpowers when he woke up. I figured I should make myself scarce before he took it into his head to throw me like a javelin.”

“Didn’t we do that once with Kori?”

“Kori’s end goal wouldn’t be for me to go splat.” 

“Not unless you left the toilet seat up again.” 

“That was you.” 

“Can’t prove it.” 

“Of the two of us, who was practically raised by a British butler that wields guilt and disapproval like the Lasso of Truth? You think I will ever in my life dare to leave a toilet seat up?”

Roy sniggers and Jason smirks, and the tension hanging in the wake of their conversation fades somewhat. Humor is how they have always dealt with this kind of stuff.

“Still, that’s pretty heavy,” Roy says after a beat, reaching for a pair of wire strippers and electric tape. “I get why you’ve been hanging around there. I mean, what is this, three out of four now? Four out of five?”

“Huh?”

“Dead Robins. You should start a club.”

“Who says we haven’t?” Jason grumbles. “I’m the goddamn president.”

“I’m just saying, I see why you’re staying. Going by the balance of probability, the moron in the cape is probably next. It’s, like, his turn or something. So I get it—you want to keep an eye out.”

Jason narrows his eyes. “Drake’s not going to die if I have anything to say about it. No one gets to kill my replacement except me. When I feel like it.”

If I feel like it.

He and Tim have sort of come to an understanding of sorts in the past few years, if only in a professional sort of way. Exchanging information or giving the heads-up on a rogue showing up in each other’s territory. Occasionally sharing a bite to eat.

And saving each other’s lives, apparently.

The idea that a grisly death awaits Tim just because he had the misfortune of being a Robin bothers Jason more than he likes.

“When you feel like it?” Roy prompts. “You’re just trying to sound tough to cover up the other thing.”

“What other thing?”

“The thing where you feel like you have to step into big brother’s shoes now,” Roy informs him. “With Dick gone, that’s you, man.”

Jason physically jerks away from the screen, staring at Roy. “Fuck no. That’s not my deal.”

“If you say so.”

And just…no.

He jokes about it, sure. Calls them ‘bro’ or makes pointed remarks related to family or siblings, but it’s always tongue-in-cheek and more mocking than serious. It’s just to get a rise out of them, to remind them how he really doesn’t fit in with Bruce’s messed up idea of a ‘family’.

Besides, he’s pretty sure even if he wanted it, he’d be a shit older brother—he doesn’t have any of Dick’s likeability or sense of responsibility or general concern for everyone’s welfare. And Bruce’s kids all have their own level of fucked-up that, coupled with his own many and varied list of issues, could very well land them all in Arkham.

No way he’s going back there.

“Sorry, you’re breaking up,” Jason says flatly, and terminates the call before Roy can get too smug or think he’s actually on to something. He glares at the blank screen for a few minutes, and then queues up all the overseas cases he’s been flagging the past week.

Time to get the hell out of dodge. Before I get called to babysit or something…

֍

Tim is not keeping tabs on anyone.

At least, no more than usual.

The myriad of windows open on his workplace computer screen, showing several different sources of surveillance footage, is simply his method for remaining prepared for whatever crisis is inevitably coming.

(There’s always a crisis coming.)

And he’s definitely not watching out for Jason, even if his eyes keep drifting toward the grainy image of the Red Hood followed by traffic cams in Montreal, where he’s infiltrated a human-trafficking operation.

Tim justifies it as pre-emptive damage control, in case he needs to send someone to save Jason from himself.

(Never mind that Tim never did this before three months ago, never mind that Jason’s mellowed out a lot in the past two years and has developed something almost in the realm of good judgement, never mind that—)

As if to make the point to himself, Tim focusses his attention on the other windows. Damian at Wayne Manor, singlehandedly lifting the roof onto what appears to be a new pet enclosure while Alfred watches, bemused. The kid still has superpowers, which is another mark against the existence of a higher power—what kind of benevolent force would give the brat heat vision?

Bruce isn’t in Gotham; last Tim heard, he’s gone to the Hall of Justice, probably to figure out how to drain off Damian’s powers. There are no camera there (and if there were, Bruce would probably have disabled them by now), but the tracer Tim slipped into the cowl the last time they met is still going strong.

Tim pretends he doesn’t know that Bruce knows he put it there; he hates feeling like he’s being humored.

Steph is in class, Cass is out of the country, Barbara is at a information management conference in Metropolis.

They’re all fine.

And he’s not keeping tabs.

He just has to be ready. In case he needs to shut down the power for a city block or remotely cut camera feed, if it looks like someone is about to die or be unmasked.

Not again. Never again. Not like Dick, won’t let it happen—

The speaker on his office phone trills. “Mr. Wayne? Your eight o’clock is here.”

Tim shakes off his disjointed thoughts and reaches for the intercom button. “Send him in.”

Warrick Powers has a face Tim would very much like to punch.

Maybe if he was in uniform, he would find an excuse, but at the moment, he is fully immersed in his Timothy Drake-Wayne persona. Any attack on the CEO of Powers Technology would not only bring a few dozen lawyers down on him and Wayne Enterprises, but it would also wreak havoc on Tim’s image as a feeble, recovering cripple.

Which would be a waste, since he’s been cultivating that image for over two years.

His crutches are long gone, but he still carries a cane with him everywhere for ‘bad days’. It’s not even really a lie, since there are mornings after he hasn’t slept in thirty-six hours where he needs something to fidget with. Some kind of prop to offer a believable reason for his pauses. It’s better if people think he’s reliving the shooting that supposedly injured him, rather than pay attention to the obvious sleep deprivation or concealed injuries. 

“Tim! Great to see you again,” Powers declares in a false voice that would do even Brucie Wayne proud. “Glad you could fit me in this morning.”

“It just so happened I needed to speak to you about something,” Tim replies with an insubstantial smile.

“Excellent, excellent,” Powers says vaguely, by-passing the usual polite handshake and sprawling in one of the chairs across from Tim. He hasn’t said so out loud, but it clearly bothers him having to do business with a teenager. “I just wanted to come by and tell you that our little project is right on schedule. Ahead of it, in fact…”

Out of the corner of his eye he watches the footage of Jason outside a restaurant in Chinatown and he suppresses the urge to swear.

The idiot had better not be messing with the Ghost Dragons, because I cannot deal with that right now.

Though, the older man is in civvies, so it’s entirely possible he’s just grabbing lunch.

And…nope. Wishful thinking. Damn it, Jason.

If his suspicions about what’s about to happen onscreen are correct, Tim’s going to have to put an end to this meeting faster than he expected.

Powers is still rambling.

 “…we could move up the launch by a month or two without sacrificing quality. Maybe even release it as a limited-edition prototype. For a higher price, of course, but people have been waiting on this model for five years now, they’d pay for it.”

The older man chuckles; it doesn’t reach his eyes, which remain cold and calculating as a snake’s. The overall effect makes Tim’s skin crawl, in a different way from the lingering phantom itch of Ivy’s toxin.

(Stupid mistake. Shouldn’t have been anywhere near Robinson Park without backup, even if it was recon. Another stupid mistake—)

“Thank you for the progress report, Mr. Powers,” Tim says, cutting his thoughts off before they can become too rambling, “but that was not the reason I agreed to see you today.”

“Oh?” Powers looks politely interested.

“I received a tip two weeks ago from a concerned individual that Powers Tech has been dumping toxic waste,” Tim tells him, careful to keep his inflection mild. The term ‘concerned individual’ is loose, but it was Ivy that mentioned it to him and told him to fix it or she would. He doesn’t remember if that was before or after she let her plants have their fun, though. “We take that kind of accusation very seriously. The entire reason Wayne Enterprises agreed to collaborate with your company was because you’ve boasted about your eco-friendly containment practices.”

Powers expression doesn’t betray anything; in fact, the way his eyebrows raise, and his mouth turns downward in confusion, anyone else might consider him legitimately affronted.

“And you believed it? Come on, Tim, I’m sure WE gets half a dozen similar accusations a week. It’s just the granola movement trying to shut down our operations. They’d be happy if we still did things the Amish way.”

“Maybe. But those accusations don’t usually come with evidence to back them up.” Tim slides several folders across the desk. “Only a percentage of your industrial waste is being disposed of responsibly, I imagine for publicity’s sake; the rest, you’re burying in the sublevels of your main facility.”

Powers lips thin ever so slightly. “Hearsay.”

“We do our due diligence in these matters. Some of your employees were willing to confirm the report—anonymous now, but willing to come forward in the event of a formal investigation,” Tim says. “There was also an undercover investigation commissioned by…outside parties.”

No need to admit he was the outside party.

“The results indicate that not only are your containment measures insufficient, but the run-off from that waste is close to entering the groundwater, which could jeopardize Gotham’s entire water supply. Possibly even on a global scale if it gets to the ocean and reacts with the salt water.” He holds his hands in front of him. “I’ve held back on having this released to the public as a curtesy to you to get your affairs in order today.”

“What?” Powers growls and there’s not even an attempt to keep his charming mask on.

“I’ve asked you here so that we can finalize the dissolution of Wayne Enterprises partnership with Powers Tech,” Tim continues. “It’s a fairly cut and dried situation, so there was no need to call in the board.”

“That isn’t going to happen—”

“In exchange for an uncontested dissolution of our agreement and a clear plan to fix the problem, I continue to keep this information from going public—along with several other discrepancies I’ve discovered in your company, many of which are such blatant health-code violations that if they’re made public, you’ll be declaring bankruptcy by nine o’clock tonight. Personally, that isn’t the path I’d choose; your recent indiscretions aside, Powers Tech has the potential to do great things—if it’s being run by someone with half a conscience.”

Which you clearly don’t possess.

“You’d do well to watch your tone, boy,” Powers growls. “Does your father know the career suicide you’re committing right now?”

“He trusts my judgement or I wouldn’t be sitting at this desk,” Tim shrugs, unconcerned, and slides two more folders across. “These are to dissolve our partnership. Feel free to have your lawyers look it over, but I am serious about the nine o’clock deadline. If you intend to keep your company operating for the foreseeable future, you will sign it and send it over before then. You’ll also make an announcement that you intend to step down from your position as CEO, since you are taking full blame for your company’s blatant disrespect for environmental laws.”

“I will do no such thing! That’s tantamount to an admission of guilt—and I have no intention of going to jail over these…these fabricated accusations.”

“The choice is yours, of course. And you are pretty well-off, so even though this is an open-shut case, I’m sure you’ll land in a white-collar institution that’s nicer than most of Gotham’s criminals enjoy. But make no mistake—either you come forward on your own, which will be helpful in negotiating a lesser sentence, or you wait for the evening edition of the Gotham Gazette, which I know won’t paint you in a very favorable light.”

“This is blackmail.”

“Actually, it’s extortion,” Tim corrects him, reaching for his half-filled coffee cup. As Powers eyes gleam at him, a small smirk forming, Tim continues, “Oh, and just so you know, anything we’ve said in this meeting is completely confidential. I took the liberty of installing a scrambler in this office, which knocks out all mechanical devices. Your phone and the recorder in your pocket won’t have caught any of our conversation. To ensure neither of us chooses to play any unfortunate quotes out of context, of course.”

“Of course,” Power grunts tightly.

“I would go with the first option,” Tim says, switching back to the previous conversation with ease. “This way your company’s stocks won’t fall too badly. And this way your son has a chance of being a better man and better CEO than you. I look forward to discussing the changes with Derek at the Green Energy Expo in Hong Kong next week.”

Powers looks as if he’s about to jump across the table and throttle Tim, who casually reaches for his intercom, “Mr. Powers will be leaving early, please ensure someone can escort him down to the lobby.”

“I can find my own way,” Powers snaps, shoving his chair back and grabbing the folders Tim gave him. “And this isn’t over, you jumped-up little brat. You’re going to regret this.”

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that before,” Tim replies, adopting the cold, distant smile of Janet Drake. “Have a nice day, Mr. Powers.”

As soon as the older man has stormed from the office, Tim lets out a breath he hadn’t even noticed he was holding. It only occurs to him when the tight feeling in his chest dissipates. He leans back heavily in his chair, feeling like he’s run a marathon, which makes no sense. It’s not the first time he’s had to strongarm a partner or competitor.

He notices he has been bouncing his knee up and down under the desk, and scowls. Good thing Powers didn’t notice that, or he might have taken it as a weakness.

He’s hungry, but the effort involved in procuring food is too much. The stupid cane is not worth it, and despite his stomach complaining, he has no appetite. Not worth it.

On screen, Jason flips a table through the restaurant window. 

Damage control, Tim decides, relegating his hunger to the back of his mind and preparing to scrub any footage of Jason’s activities. It’s not keeping tabs.

So, yeah, Tim’s in denial and Jason doesn’t do warm and fuzzy family feelings. And Roy is way more observant than he would like heehee.

Sorry there was a lack of direct jaytim interaction this chapter, but I’d kind of like this fic to be more than boy-broods-about-other-boy-every-chapter. I find it makes for a more authentic slow-build relationship if they also have other stuff going on in their lives. But next chapter, we shall have dialogue once more!

TBC

NEXT CHAPTER ( in progress)

[ukthxbye]

Like Tuning a Radio

(on ao3)

(this came at me like plot freight train and I had to write it)

“Hello Sweetie,” a dark golden voice disrupted the still air around her.

“Ha!,” the Doctor breathed out something like a laugh that strangled in her throat as she turned her head to see River Song there only a few steps away.

There was no crackle of a vortex manipulator. Only silence and then her voice. It's the projection then isn’t it, the Doctor thinks.

“Hi,” she manages with a grin and a hard swallow. Bloody hell that was not smooth, she thinks.

River walked to the Doctor slowly, slinking every step in a golden dress and heels.

The Doctor’s breath caught in her chest as her jaw dropped. Her eyes travel up and down the form of her wife, and stopped at those brilliant green eyes.

“Oh sweetie, I do like this new look for you,” River cooed biting her the bottom corner of her lip.

The Doctor preened a bit, smoothing out her shirt.

“Oh really? Guess you did like the braces after all, ” She grinned wrinkling her nose.

“Well in a way when I could use them to my advantage, but no, not the clothes, sweetie,” River smirked, her hand on her hip and shaking her head.

Brow furrowed, the Doctor frowned at River. “Well I like them and my new friends helped me pick them out...and paid for them too.” The Doctor shrugged, turning to her console. Looking at River too long is like looking at the sun, I’ll go blind, she reminded herself.

“Darling you never had a great taste in clothes,” River laughed and it sounded the church bells in the Doctor’s head banging. “Well, actually your last form wasn’t too bad. But maybe it was the 24 years of influence from me,” she cocked an eyebrow, now shifting very close to the Doctor

 The Doctor stepped back a step, gulping again.

 “Appears that influence has been lost,” River sighed, almost sadly and the hearts in the Doctor’s chest responded to the tone. 

Well, that's the same at least, the Doctor thinks.  

 The Doctor shrugged again, facing River again as she tried to lean nonchalantly against the console. “Its all new to me. All the bits and…” she waved her hands around her body and laid her hands on her own chest “I know them on you but now it's on me.”

 The Doctor turned scarlet as River giggled.

 “Oh, my love you will get used to it. Every one of you, even when you were male, was very different.”

 “Its true, I guess, yeah you are right...always were,” The Doctor admitted.

 “ ‘Were’ is such a terrible word choice,” River trembled.

 The Doctor shuddered at the sound of her wife’s pain exposing itself. It seemed a lifetime ago but its effect remained intact. He or she, no matter the form, that the cuts to the core.

 “Are, then, well since you are here in a way but…” The Doctor started and stopped herself, risked the last bit of control, faced River and stepped right in front of her. She reached out with her hands, gently testing if they connected with something and nearly cried when they did.

 “The TARDIS does amazing things, doesn’t she?” the Doctor half laughed, her hands stroking River’s jawline. There was a blanket sort of warmth, the best a projection could provide.

 “It only temporary,” River sighed in return, closing her eyes for a moment luxuriating in the sense of touch.

 “Then let's enjoy it while we can” The Doctor reassured, closing her own eyes as she slipped her other hand pulled River’s face to her own

 The Doctor slanted open her eyes enough to find her target but found instead that she is too short now, at least flat-footed.

She throws her hands up and turned away frustrated. “Bah! I can’t even kiss you properly! I knew these legs used to be longer!”

 She placed her hands out and leaned on the console but then looked back at River, her face not hiding any of the heartbreak and ache.

 River’s eyes glittered as she slipped her hand down the Doctor’s cheek.

 “Then let me kiss you,” River whispered before taking the Doctor’s lips with hers. The kiss quickly deepened with a fervor unused by both for years.

 Poor substitute , but somehow across the universes the Doctor felt all their energies combining once again. She grabbed her wife’s waist, the dimensions so familiar and yet unexplored with new hands.

 This could be real, the Doctor thought.

 “Don’t risk it please, I beg you,” River pleaded her voice cracking as she broke the kiss, holding the Doctor’s gaze with trembling fingers.

 “Honey,” The Doctor whispered, taking her wife’s hands into her own. “Stop reading my thoughts without context. I am not going to risk one second of our time we had.”

 Looking down at their hands, different now, nearly matching in size, the Doctor smiled through a growing lump in her throat.

 Looking back up, steady into River’s eyes, she confessed, “ I love you too much to do that.”

 River’s breath shuddered both in relief and emotion, “ Oh sweetie. This form is much too honest and open.” She sniffed, and her lips curled into a smile that breaks the Doctor’s hearts every time.

 “You will get hurt so much more like this,” River quietly warned, her eyes searching the Doctor’s face.

 The Doctor rubbed her fingers on across River’s knuckles and puffed out her chest a bit.

 “Then so be it,” she proclaimed.

 River captured her lips once more, and then stepped back.

 The Doctor clasped her hands tighter on River’s hands.”My love…” is all she can utter through a fractured voice as she noticed and felt the projection slipping away.

 “ I really do love you. No matter the shape or form, sweetie. Be kind, my love. Most of all to yourself,” River beamed through her heartsick smile.

 “River…I” the Doctor tried again to speak, reaching out her hand before she dropped it to her side.

 “See you later, sweetie,“ River whispered through a blown kiss and in golden light her form shimmered away.

 The air felt cold again to the Doctor, like ice in her chest. She turned, holding onto the console, gripping to white-knuckled through the pain of tears stinging in her eyes. Two tears splash on the console and the TARDIS groans in response.

 “Maybe let’s not do that too often, ok Old girl?” The Doctor gritted through her teeth, sucking shallow breaths.

 Her mind’s fire cooled and she loosened her grip on the TARDIS and she breathed deeper.

She stood eyes closed, head back and mouth gaped open, listening to her own heart beats slow.

 “Hey” came from a soft voice to her left.

 “Hey, Ryan, couldn’t sleep?” she attempted in a cheery manner, her voice cracking at the end of the question.

 “Nah, just was up wandering ‘round a bit,” he softly answered, folding his arms.

 The Doctor nodded and wiped her cheeks quickly with both hands as she stomped around the console.

 “Doctor…” he began his voice questioning.

 “It was a projection that’s all. Just...a projection, “ she huffed out.

 Ryan frowned, “I’m sorry, Doctor.”

 She frowned back, “Why are you sorry?”

 He started swinging his arms a bit, “I think I saw something really personal and I know we are just starting to be friends and all. Just...yeah. I should have walked away.”

 The Doctor shrugged, with a half smile, but then her shoulders fell.

 “Its ok,” she said, voice heavy with resignation.

 She started again voice stronger, “Sometimes the universe lines up just right and the TARDIS and she make a connection. And I get to see her.”

 “Liking tuning the radio, right?” he asked

 “Smart boy, exactly,” She half laughed.

 A pause between words.

 “Like a ghost?” Ryan asked gently.

 The Doctor nodded slowly, “Kind of. It's her, I mean, well her thoughts, memories are trapped in a library, far far away and I can’t save her any more than that.”

 She ignored the aching her chest at those words and rubbed it absently.

 “Yeah...well a past me ignored it a lot. And it really depends on where we are in the universe if the connection can be made,” she said, randomly hitting some of the controls producing a soft whir.

 “And I saw her because?” Ryan asked as he folded his arms again.

 “TARDIS connection, it's in your head now that you travel in it,” She answered excitedly.

 Ryan shivered and shook his head a bit, “Yeah, it's all a bit weird still.”

 “I know,” she reassured. “Not sure you really ever get used to it. Not that you really want to.”

 He smiled when the Doctor looked at him again.

 “She’s really pretty, by the way,” he grinned.

 The Doctor blushed, “Yeah, I did get a pretty wife, didn’t I?” The word ‘wife’ rolled off her tongue so freely, much more than in the past.

 “And obviously a great kisser,” he teased.

 The Doctor stared absently, her smile crooked as she bit her lip, “ The very best, amongst other talents.”

 “Ah ok might be headed to TMI with that now,” Ryan laughed.

 The Doctor giggled a bit and checked some readings on the console.

 Ryan stepped over and leaned against the console next to the Doctor, and folded his arms again.

 “Doctor, I was wondering...if…” he stopped himself, closing his eyes.

 “Your Nan isn’t in a place like the Library,” she answered his unspoken question gently.

 He shrugged, “I know, I just wondered if the universe makes circles like the one you had tonight happen sometimes. That it gives you ghosts back.”

 The Doctor furrowed her brow, “I don’t know. Something tells me that it could and we’ll have to accept it if it doesn’t. I cannot assure you of anything.”

 Ryan took a deep breath through his nose and nodded.

 “It's ok. I think. I mean, at least I know we aren’t alone, you know? That we both have that hurt, the kind you feel in your chest and just sort of sits there no matter what you do,” he mumbled.

 The Doctor put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, holding his stare for a moment.

 He shifted up from the console and started walking to the stairs, “I think I’ll try sleep again.”

 The Doctor smiled softly, watching dials on the console. “Good idea. Get rest. Many more adventures ahead, and more running.”

 “Do you ever stop running, Doctor?” he asked earnestly, head turned one last time before he was out of sight.

 She sighed, pushing her hair back out of her face. “I have before, but why stop now?” and started working on some of the controls more furiously.

 He shook his head as he went down the stairs.

[shego1142]

Life Update part I actually managed to clean the house a bit be proud

Hey peeps!

Long time no life update!

Okay so I don’t fully remember what the last update was about so I may repeat some stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First and foremost,

The Rat Situation/Home Stuff

We still have rats, of course, because rats aren’t really a problem that go away on their own, no matter how uninhabitable you make their (and your own) environment.

Good news though, Burger King has absolutely stepped up his rat catching game tenfold.

In the past two weeks he’s caught at least 20 or so. Like, he’s seriously a beast.

I kind of think his improved hunting miigghhtt be because there’s a a smol little orange girl kitty who is wandering around here and he’s trying to impress her (or show her up)

She’s also helping us with the rats too, so kudos to her! I’ve named her Creamsicle and I plan on capturing her and taking her to a no-kill shelter ASAP, but she’s very shy rn so I’m currently building trust. In the interim she has a nice warm home under our house and plenty of food and water. ^__^

Even Better Good News I’ve been talking to extended family member after extended family member in a real life version of crowdsourcing and we can finally get an exterminator/humane trapper up in here!!!

It’ll still take a while because we need to clean but!!! Freedom is in our sights!! Rat freedom! ^___^ this is like a good ending to The Judge’s House.

Bad news just to keep you on your feet, out stove kind of exploded last night.

Well okay it didn’t really explode explode, but damn was it scary anyway.

It made an extremely loud sound and blew fire up from the one stove eye that was on and then the fire went out and it started hissing gas

We turned it off and then turned off the main gas line in total and well, this is what the gas lines leading up to the stove eyes look like:

Yea they’re all four broken like that. Idk how or why but they seem to be made out of aluminium? For what ever reason? And they’ve just broken in half. Yes this is a terrifying discovery :/

We are looking at some “new” stove options, there’s a lot of Renovations going on around our neighborhood and a lot of peeps who want to just get rid of their old stoves for cheap or even free

So we might be able to find something nice and affordable. ^_^

(Also we aren’t sure how long the gas lines to that stove have been leaking so I’ll keep you peeps updated on if our health improves any lol)

Alright so Next Up is

Health

Or idk, lack there of.

So, big deal, I’ve finally and officially been diagnosed with Tachycardia!

Which is one of the many things I’ve been saying all along!

I have supraventrical Tachycardia, meaning the top part of my heart beats 3 times for every one time the bottom part beats. They are also looking to see if I also have POTS, which is very likely because it seems to be postural

I’m on Digoxin now and it’s been somewhat mildly improving my dizziness, so yay!

In even more exciting news, I finally finally finally have an appointment to see a bone/joint doctor.

So we can figure out why my joints dislocate like crazy. (Idk if it’s EDS or not but we will know soon I hope)

And hopefully this will help me get to a place where I can get medical treatment and maybe even recover some.

Meanwhile I might make a separate post about the idea of retroactive disability, which should absolutely be a thing that exists and goes along with my socialist ideals but I’ll make that later so shhhhh

Otherwise health stuff has been frustrating for me lately, both of my ears have severe inner ear infections and I think I have a mild flu, despite having gotten my flu shot for the year -_-

And of course I had my period twice this month (that’s also something I’m going to talk about in a different post bc it’s a little tmi) which means nearly 3 weeks of feeling like a hibernating bear and sleeping almost 24/7

Which btw is why I haven’t been on much

Creativity

Okay so like I said in a previous post, I am absolutely making a poster for Markiplier’s charity livestream (December 1st, 10 am PST)

And I’m actually really excited about making it. I’ve been practising sketching peeps and practising the human form for a few months so I’m kind of ready to make it.

Plus it’s just nice to have something to work towards ^__^

Also, I think I might make a Minecraft playthrough.

So the short version of a long story here is that while I’ve played Minecraft for years I’ve never finished the game.

And that’s not for a lack of being able to, I could have done it at anytime... but I’ve never felt ready.

And now I think I’d love to record it, because why not?

The End Poem is actually really special and meaningful to me and I think I’d like to experience it for the first time first hand (I’ve read it before but like I said I’ve never gotten to it myself) with you peeps.

Idk if I want it to go up on YouTube or not but perhaps?

Anyway let me know if you want me to make a Single Person Vanilla Minecraft let’s play I guess?

It might not be anything new but it would at the least be my own...

And finally

Cleaning

So I enlisted some help in my extended family members and we went wild with cleaning my grandma’s house.

We stuck to the kitchen and living room but we had it nearly spotless by the time she woke up, her being none the wiser to what we were doing

And I mean, my left knee was completely dislocated the entire time, and my back and hips hurt like crazy now

But I am honestly really proud of myself for forcing myself to do it.

Okay well I think that’s all of the major life updates for the time being!

Here’s an obligatory pic of my Burger Man

And you can kind of see my grandma’s arms in the background, lol. Honestly if you had told me a few years back that she’d willingly have a cat sleeping on her bed I’d have laughed, but BK is a charmer if there ever were one. ^__^

[theclaravoyant]

Curiosity & Courage [Simmorse]

AN ~ More Simmorse! Ah, I miss these two. This one fills an Anon prompt (see Summary below) as well as an @mcukinkbingo prompt, in a smutty fluff kind of way. Note that this fills a ship rather than a “kink” square, but don’t worry, I will still be accepting Simmorse prompts for other squares! (plus feel free to check out this smutty prompt list if you want a little inspiration)

Relationships/Characters: Simmorse (Jemma x Bobbi) Prompt: “Jemma Simmons x Bobbi Morse” for @mcukinkbingo Rating: M Warnings: N/A Other Tags: Fluff, Secondhand Embarrassment, Resolved Secondhand Embarrassment, Mild D/s Undertones, Collars, Sexting, Nudes (no images, descriptions only), Screen Reader Friendly.

Summary: Jemma and Bobbi have been dating for a little while, so Bobbi brings Jemma up to her apartment for coffee and Jemma finds a studded collar and gets really excited because she thinks Bobbi has a dog.

(She doesn't.)

Read on AO3 (~2400wd) or below.

-

Curiosity & Courage

“That face doesn’t look like good news,” Bobbi remarked, as a fretting Jemma made her way back from the counter.

“They said they can give us tickets to another screening, but I can’t come back tonight, I have to go to work!” Jemma lamented. “I’m sorry, I think the date is off.”

She waved the complimentary tickets helplessly, and Bobbi tilted her head in thought.

“You don’t have to go right now, do you,” she reminded Jemma. “Why don’t you come back to my apartment for a coffee? It’s just around the corner.”

“Are you sure?” Jemma checked, and nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

In truth, she very much wanted to visit Bobbi’s apartment, but it was a big step for a third date. Very private, very personal, and Jemma knew that she was far too curious for her own good and well-known for not being all that tactful. Visiting Bobbi’s apartment was an invitation to stick her foot in her mouth and she wasn’t sure that she – or Bobbi - was ready for that yet.

But Bobbi shook her head, brushing off Jemma’s concern. “There’s nothing to put out,” she promised. “My roommate is out, the place isn’t too much of a pigsty, and it’s literally right around the corner, I swear. Come on! I won’t try anything funny, I promise. Just coffee. Or tea, I have tea as well. Just coffee’s just an expression.”

“I thought you said you wouldn’t try anything funny,” Jemma replied, with a hesitant smile, and Bobbi grinned.

“You have a terrible sense of humour,” she noted. “I like that in a girl.”

Jemma rolled her eyes and laughed, and let Bobbi lead her around the corner to where her apartment was indeed waiting. For most of the way there, Bobbi was touching her hand or her arm or her back, making Jemma feel welcome in her space, and by the time they’d made it up the elevator and down the hall, Jemma was starting to think that she might not actually mind a little funny business after all. But of course she still had the curiosity problem to attend to: she had, after all, been told by no fewer than three of her exes, that her most annoying trait was how she got nosy, and often, judgemental. She was really enjoying her time with Bobbi, and she’d hate to drag her over those coals, especially when fate had had them approach the invitation-into-my-home hurdle sooner than they otherwise would have. But if Bobbi was prepared to be brave, then so was she – which was good, because the test before her was about to be scaled up in difficulty. Between the nerves, the need, and the sound of Bobbi filling up the kettle, it wasn’t long before Jemma had to ask:

“Bobbi, sorry, but do you mind if I use your bathroom?”

“Sure,” Bobbi shrugged. “It’s straight down the hall. Bathroom’s on your left. Not your right, that’s Hunter’s room and I take no responsibility for what you find in there.”

She chuckled to herself, and Jemma smiled, even as she reminded herself to steel her anti-curiosity binders. There were not many doors in an apartment like this: only five in the hall. There was the lavatory of course, the bathroom and Hunter’s room, and the other two must be Bobbi’s, and what she imagined must be some kind of linen closet or the like. Bobbi’s door was closed. Hunter’s was a little open, but between Bobbi’s warning and her own determination, Jemma resisted the urge to pry. She even managed to do her business without searching through their magazines, though she did eye a sudoko at the top of the stack, which she thought was interesting. It wasn’t until she got to the bathroom that she found herself in real trouble, and even then it wasn’t really her fault.

It was right there.

On top of a large, beautiful, velveteen box on the sink. A sleek black leather collar, a little worn, with silver studs around the outside. Jemma couldn’t help but pick it up, admiring it in wonder as her face lit up.

“Bobbi!” she cried in delight. “You never told me you had a dog!”

“A what?”

Bobbi’s voice came in, a little muffled, from the other room, but Jemma did not register its confusion. She was already distracted by the opportunity of the box. What could be in there? Pictures of the dog? What kind was it, she wondered – for some reason, she could see Bobbi with a Border Collie, or perhaps a Retriever. Then again, people didn’t tend to keep printouts of photographs these days, unless the dog was dead, but she certainly hoped not. She was not emotionally ready for that. She was more emotionally ready for… toys, dog toys. That would be perfect. She could figure out the dog’s favourite and bond with it and everything would be great.

Except then she lifted the lid, and her mind flipped back through the road it had sprinted down in the last few precious seconds. What kind of dog indeed? Well, she would have been able to at least hazard a guess had there been any fur on the collar, but it hadn’t clicked until too late that there hadn’t been. Just as it had not clicked for Bobbi immediately, why Jemma would have assumed she had a dog. And now Bobbi ran to the bathroom and Jemma stared into the box of what were indeed toys, but which were very much not of the canine persuasion, and profoundly wished that her body would obey her and just put the damn lid back already.

Bobbi stood in the doorway in despair, and Jemma stared at her helplessly as she tried to put a brave face on.

“Yeah, I don’t-“ Bobbi explained. “I don’t have a dog.”

--

Needless to say, the date ended quickly after that. Neither of them could quite bring themselves to look each other in the eyes, least not do anything remotely sexual in the slightest – which seemed to be everything all of a sudden; even pursing their lips to blow on their hot drinks, or shifting their seating positions. They hurried to assure each other of their own well meaning as Jemma all but ran for the door and Bobbi tried not to herd her out of it, both of them blushing furiously and apologising profusely and wishing that the other person would simply see through it and stay.

But it was not the end.

Jemma was up late that night for work – no that she’d gotten much done, with this on her mind. She’d blown things with Bobbi, she was sure of it. And not only had she done so by invading something way too private for comfort, but she’d made a complete fool of herself by running away like a naïve prude who’d not only never seen a vibrator before, but apparently, felt quite sick at the very thought of one. Now Bobbi probably felt like Jemma was judging her to boot, running home to tell all her friends, and then guess what I found-?? But of course, Jemma was far too embarrassed by the fact that she’d thought a very obvious human sex collar was for a dog. The only way it could have been worse was if it’d had a heart-shaped lock inscribed with the word Princess. She pulled a face at herself as she tumbled through the door with her belongings. It was a Monday night, but it was late enough for wine, right?

Just as she took her first sip though, her phone buzzed, and because today couldn’t possibly get any worse she flicked it open. The message was from Bobbi. Jemma’s breath caught in her chest as she read.

I’m so SO sorry about today, she had written, and put a cringing emoji at the end. If it helps I practically murdered Hunter when he got home. He said he ~must have borrowed something and left it out~. Dude never buys his own condoms I s2g. Anyway. Sorry again. That must have been super weird for you, I swear I wasn’t trying to lure you into my Sex Den, I just wanted coffee. Or tea. I totally understand if you don’t want to see me again or even message me back but like…  

A smile ticked up Jemma’s lip at the three little prayer hands emojis Bobbi had finished with. The weight of complete and utter humiliation lessened slightly as she realised Bobbi was feeling just as awful as she was. At least Bobbi had been brave enough to do something about it, and not hide out in her kitchen drinking cheap wine. The least she could do, Jemma thought, was to make Bobbi feel better. Even going to the effort calmed her nerves, and warmed her heart.

It’s okay, she wrote. Not a deal breaker, just wasn’t expecting it on the third date! That’s what I get for sticking my nose in other people’s business though. [Shy monkey emoji].

Now that just looked downright coy and sexual, Jemma thought. Or did it? Did it look too naïve? Should she send some eggplants? No, she’d never use them right. Oh god. Was she sexting? Should she be? She shut her phone off quickly and took a deep breath. A few seconds later, another message buzzed through.

You were hardly sticking your nose anywhere. There was a mysterious box on the bathroom sink, what else were you supposed to do? Not open it? [shrug hands]

Jemma snorted. A woman after her own heart.

You have a ridiculously underdeveloped sense of social boundaries, she wrote. I like that in a girl [wink emoji]

Figured we were way past TMI, Bobbi replied, with a wink emoji of her own. I’ve gotta go, but thanks for answering. & Since you haven’t run for the hills screaming, how bout a real coffee date? – p.s. what would you consider an appropriate number of dates for revealing this kind of thing? Usually?

Yes! and 6. If you don’t know what you’re doing by then, you’re wasting your time.  

Jemma snorted to herself, proud of this little tease. It didn’t state the obvious, but at the same time, it showed that she’d thought about it, and no girl who didn’t have a kinky side would’ve had to do that. Nailed it.

She was so satisfied with herself, in fact, that she didn’t even worry when Bobbi did not reply. She knew she had work early in the morning, and likely had just gone to bed. Or gone to strangle her roommate some more. Jemma knew she should be getting to bed too, and she took her wine to her room, but she couldn’t quite send herself to sleep. She was still wired from work, she told herself, and from the major embarrassment earlier in the day. And besides, it’s not that she was worried Bobbi wasn’t replying, but it still couldn’t hurt to be awake when she did, right? To think this little mishap had almost broken them apart, and all over a little confusion about a collar…

It may have been late, but the Internet rabbit-hole was deep, and waiting for Bobbi to reply was a subtle but powerful stimulant. It wasn’t long before Jemma found herself looking up pictures of collars, and the rather attractive women wearing them. They were just pictures, she told herself at first. She wasn’t going to try anything funny. But then she got it in her head that Bobbi had been exposed tonight. That, if she’d panicked anywhere nearly as much as Jemma had, Jemma’s subtle tease was not going to be enough to reassure her, if she even noticed it. And so it was that Jemma inspired herself to try something she’d never done before. The way she saw it, she had a lot of sexual forwardness to make up for in order to even the playing field, and in this case she found herself looking forward to doing so. She fell asleep with a smile on her face, dreaming of what she’d planned for the morning.

--

Bobbi woke up to her phone. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. She groaned and eyed the screen.

You have 5 messages from Jemma.

Bobbi cringed, and rolled over onto her back, raking a hand into her hair. Her finger hovered over the button to reveal the messages. Her heart pounded. Nervous. But they’d left it well, right? She held her breath and clicked.

Apparently, they’d left it very well.

P.P.S – Jemma had written. Way past TMI but…

This was followed by three images.

The first: sitting on a white marble bench-top, a smooth black leather collar that was fastened at the front with a simple, silver, heart-shaped padlock.

The second: a close-up of what Bobbi could only assume was Jemma’s dainty, porcelain-smooth shoulders and neck, baring the collar and blushing a little. Bobbi bit her nail and smiled to herself, feeling a tingle in her groin as she began to wonder; had Jemma ever worn one of these before? How would she carry herself in such a thing, with that dancer’s frame?

The third gave her something of an answer, as Jemma had perched her phone on something in the bathroom and stepped back from the counter, stark naked. This shot was a little more candid, not so daintily posed – no doubt the nerves were getting to her by this point in the photo shoot – but Bobbi found herself endeared by the bashful smile on Jemma’s face, and the curve of her breast and hip. She wondered how many of these shots Jemma must have taken, in how many increasingly ridiculous poses, before she got to the point of almost laughing and to just send one straight on before she lost it.

By this point, Bobbi was beaming. Who would have thought that such a horrific faux pas as yesterday would have earned her such a reward?

And then there was the fifth message: another text.

On an unrelated note, Jemma had written, do you wanna go on three dates tonight?

[sickficprompts]

Connie is Sick

A fanfiction for the webseries All For One on the KindaTV youtube channel. This piece takes place after season 2. 

Shoutout to the anon who requested an All for One fic! I know it’s been a while, so I hope you’re around to see it :) I’ve been struggling to write recently, and I’m so grateful that you gave me a prompt I got really excited for. Hopefully, it’ll lead to more and better content going forward!

Words: 2484 Pairing: Donnie (Connie as sickie and Dorothy as caretaker) Fandom: All For One (webseries) 

“I told you to take a break.”

“I don’t need your sarcasm.”

“Don’t be a douche canoe.”

“My stomach fees like a douche canoe.”

Dorothy frowned at Connie. The girl was paler than normal with a pink flush across her cheeks. Her large eyes were tired. She was curled in a bad under a mass of blankets, shivering.

“Are you sure you want to go to class?”

Connie rubbed her eye and continued typing with the laptop laying on its side leaned up on her lap. “Have to turn in this essay.”

“You need to take a break.”

Her phone rang then. She closed her bruised eyes, and I passed it to her from the purple ottoman. She swiped to answer.

“Hey, mom.” Her voice was more energetic, happier… fake. “Yeah I’m good. Yes, I know there’s a bug going around. I’m being careful. Yeah, I’ve been taking my vitamin C. No, I’m not going to miss classes. I’m-“ She hesitated for a partial second to wince. She wiggled and held her stomach as she continued. “I’m getting ready for class now. I have to go. Okay. Yup. Love you too. Bye.”

She hung up with shaky hands, dropped the phone, and curled in on herself. I climbed into bed behind her and pulled the blanket tighter around her knees. I fit my hand in under her’s so I could touch her stomach through the fabric of her dress. I felt how tense it was, and felt it move as it growled again. Connie moaned.

I rubbed careful, light circles. She curled more but didn’t shrug me off.

“Does this help?”

“Mmm…” It sounded pain, but calm.

“Poor, Connie… I think you need a nurse. Good thing I’m a doctor!” I waited. She said nothing, so I finished. “A love doctor!”

“Dorothy, I feel really sick.”

I frowned. Connie sounded scared. “Uh, okay. What do I do? Do you want me to get the nurse? Or-“

“No. I have to go to class. I can’t finish my work like this. I won’t be able to concentrate. I-“ She sucked in a breath and squirmed, crossing her arms over her stomach.

“What is it? Hurt? Or are you gonna puke? Should I get the trash? I didn’t take it out yet… Oh! I have a takeout bag.”

Connie moaned weekly.

“Do you need the bag?”

She coughed once and covered her mouth with a fist.

I scrambled out of bed and got the takeout bag. “If you need it -uh- it’s… I put it beside the bed.”

She went limp and took a deep breath. “Can you get my ibuprophin from the bathroom? I think I have a fever.”

It was very warm laying with her. I put a hand on her forehead. “Shit, Connie! What the hell?”

She winced. “Can you try not to yell?”

“Sorry. Right. You shouldn’t go to class. You’re really sick. Maybe we should go to the Minute Clinic or something.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a bug. That wave passed.” She leaned up on her elbow to work on her homework.

I thought for a second but grabbed the meds anyway. She swallowed them dry.

“Don’t you want some water?” I asked. My voice was surprisingly unsure.

“I don’t think I could keep it down…”

“You can’t go to class.”

“I have to.”

I hesitated… before sitting at the desk and opening the inseparables stream.

“Hey inseperables.”

I could feel Connie glaring behind me.

Laura: Hey!

Alex: Hi!

“Anyone else here? We need a team effort?

Ales: On what? U ok?

Breton: I’m here! I was shitting.

Laura: Ew. TMI

Alex: Everyone ok over there Dor?

“I’m fine,” I said. “Connie-“ I was interrupted by a coughing fit. I turned to see her folding in on herself. She knocked the laptop off the bed. I rushed over and sat her up as she coughed, both arms wrapped tightly over her stomach.

The fit passed and she gasped for breath and moaned.

“I- I’m okay,” she said. “Go back to the inseperables. I’ve got homework.”

Alex: That is NOT ok

Laura: You’re gonna get sick! But also you have to take care of her?! WHAT DO??

Breton: WTF CONNIE HAS THE PLAGUE

“Connie wants to go to class today,” I explained. “Fever. Nauseous. Coughing fits like this all the time. Back me up guys! She can’t go, right?”

Alex: DON’T YOU DARE! I DON’T WANT THAT!

Laura: I get it, but it’s still not a good idea. Connie, you could get hurt.

Breton: once i got a fishing hook stuck in my hand, but it wasn’t my writing hand so i went to school

Laura: WTF Breton?!

“See? They agree!” I said, turning back. “Well except for Breton. But he doesn’t count!”

Breton: Hey! I went to the ER after classes!! But she’s supposed to do homework after classes…

Alex: shut up! Don’t remind her!

Laura: What would her parent’s do?

“Probably kill her, but that doesn’t-“

“It’s two o’clock,” Connie said. “I gotta get out of here.”

Connie stood, and quickly grabbed the top bunk with wide eyes.

I rushed to her as she swayed. “Connie? You okay?”

She went limp, and I caught her in time to lower her to the mattress again.

Eyes fluttering. “Gotta go… No time…”

“I’m not letting you leave now.” I looked at the computer. “She’s awake.” Then back at her. “You need to rest. You can’t go to class. You’re too sick.”

“Havetoogo….” she murmured.

“No, Connie. You’re not going anywhere.” I adjusted her so she was in a more comfortable position on the bed. She shivered, and I put the blankets over her again. I fluffed the pillow, and I moved the laptop far out of reach so she couldn’t get it back. “You rest.”

“can’t…”

“Well you’re gonna.”

I sat at the computer the chat had been going without me.

Alex: SHIT SHIT SHIT IS SHE OK?!

Laura: Lay her on her side so she doesn’t choke on her tongue!

Laura: Wait… that’s for drunk people…

Breton: Is she dead? Fuck, i thought my ship would sink in the normal college sweetheart way…

Laura: Okay, I googled it. Water, fever reducers, and cool cloth NOW

Laura: DOROTHY

Alex: Welcome back, Dorothy! Update please??

I smiled sadly at the webcam. “Connie fainted. Probably from the fever. She won’t be getting up for a while… She’s conscious though. Er, I think.” I glanced back to see her blinking blearily around the room. “Mostly.”

Laura: You need to bring the fever down!

“I know, Laura. I’m going to. Maybe I should just update you guys later. I think I should take Connie to the nurse. Or… maybe take the nurse to Connie. But I don’t know if I should leave her alone.

Alex: I don’t want to catch it. Not babystitting!

Alex: But I see if the nurse is in and bring her over.

“That would be such a huge help, Alex! Thank you!”

Laura: I’d help too if I was close enough.

Breton: If Connie dies, can I have her dresses? I wanna start roleplaying.

Laura: BRETON NO

Alex: Headed out now. Stay on the stream so I can just come back on if she’s not there.

“Will do,” I said.

I got up and went to Connie. Her eyes were heavy and drifting shut.

“Hey,” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Heyyy….” she mumbled.

I reached out and stroked her hair. She was burning hot and sticky with sweat.

She closed her eyes when I began stroking her.

“Is it nice?” I asked.

“Mmm…”

I continued stroking her hair and picked up one hand to kiss before putting it gently onto the bed. Slowly, Connie fell to sleep.

I got up and grabbed a facecloth from my drawer and checked the computer before I left. Laura and Breton were arguing about the ethically of Breton asking about Connie’s dresses. I went to rinse the cloth, squeezed it out into the bathroom sink, the cloud water feeling freezing in comparison to touching her forehead, and brought it back to Connie.

Before I put the cloth on her, I tucked her in better. I knew the cloth would feel cold, so I at least wanted her to be comfortable. I laid the facecloth gently over her forehead and eyes.

She flinched with a noise of surprise, then relaxed again.

I stroked her hair until her breaths became even again and went back to my computer. Still nothing from Alex, though Breton had given into Laura’s persistence.

“Okay, guys,” I whispered. “I think everything’s under control now. Hopefully, the nurse can come by.”

Just then, someone knocked at the door.

I opened it, instead of yelling. Treville stepped in, followed by Alex and the nurse.

“We have a sick sister?” Treville said, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yeah. Connie. She’s been coughing, has got a fever, and has been really nauseous and having stomach pain. Not sure if there’s any other symptoms. She was trying to go to class like this when she fainted… I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

“So I helped,” Alex said.

“Right.”

The nurse looked awkwardly to Connie, and I realized she likely wouldn’t wake the sleeping student herself. I went over and shook her shoulder a bit. “Connie?”

She jumped and pulled the cloth off quickly. Her eyes darted from person to person then back to me. “Dorothy?”

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you feeling?”

“What’s going on? What time is it?”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“What do you mean? I was doing my homework. Must have drifted off.”

“Connie…” I was feeling kinda scared now. “You fainted. You would’ve hit your head on the bed frame if I wasn’t there. You’re really sick… So I called backup.”

She looked the others in the room. The nurse stepped forward. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Nurse Holly. I was asked to come check on you. Would that be alright?”

Connie looked around again and back at me. “Dorothy, what’s happening?”

“You’re sick. The nurse is here to make sure you’re doing okay. Treville and Alex are here to help.”

“Actually, I’m out!’ Alex said. “I’m not catching that!” With that, she rushed out of the room.

“Okay, Treville is here to help. We’re worried about you, Connie. We just want you to be okay.”

She still looked really disoriented. It took me a second to process what she might have been feeling, but when I did, my voice softened.

“You’re safe, Connie. You’re gonna be okay. I just need you to let Nurse Holly take a look at you. I want to know if we should just let you rest here, or if I should take you to a doctor or something. That’s all, okay?” I kissed her forehead, slightly cooler now, and turned to the nurse. “She had ibuprofen a half-hour ago, and the cool cloth has been on her forehead for only like a minute or two. I don’t think she’s eaten or drank anything in at least a few hours. Says she won’t be able to keep it down.”

Holly nodded and knelt next to Connie. “Hey, Connie. Can I take a look at you?”

Starting to understand the situation a bit better, she nodded. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably just a bad cold…”

“Okay, dear. Can you sit up?”

Connie did, with more effort than I’m sure she would’ve liked to admit. I glanced at the computer quickly to see a flash of Laura.

Laura: This is really scary… I hope Connie’s ok??

I bit my lip. Was it that serious? I’ve never seen someone faint before. I was kinda scared myself. I looked back at the nurse, who was now taking Connie’s blood pressure and heart rate, then her temperature, pressed on areas of Connie’s stomach, and finally looked in her eyes, nose, mouth, and ears.

She stood when she was finished and faced all of us. “The ibuprofen should’ve kicked in by now, but her temp is still at 101. 3. If it stays above 100 for the next 3 hours that the ibuprofen is in her system, or if it spikes above 103, take her to a doctor or hospital immediately. At that point, it’s definitely something which needs to be treated professionally. Her throat and nose seem inflamed but don’t look infected or suspicious in any way. She doesn’t seem to be having any emergency situation with her organs, but she needs to drink water. Her blood pressure is low. She needs to eat. If these things get worse or don’t change, bring her to a doctor.”

“Noted,” Treville said. “I’ll keep an eye on these two. Have any other cases been reported to you?”

“No, but most students don’t come to me unless they have serious questions… or want to try and get out of class for allergies or something.”

“Also noted,” Treville said. “I’ll get the word out in the house that girls should be updating you when they have symptoms so that you know what’s going on throughout campus.”

“Thank you, Jean. And, Dorothy? You’re a good friend.”

Right. Not in the mood to argue. Just let it go.

“Thanks, Holly. And thanks for making sure she’s okay. Should I be worried?”

“It’s probably just a virus. Just keep an eye on her to make sure.

“Okay…”

We said our goodbyes, and Holly left. Treville e sat awkwardly on the purple seat. “You should alert me if one of you girls is ill. I don’t want anything happening to you.”

“Sorry,” I said. “Guess I didn’t know what to do cause it’s her info to share, and well…”

Connie was laying back in the bed, drifting in and out of sleep fitfully.

“Yes, of course.” Treville nodded with understanding. Recently, I’d learned anxiety was something she knew quite well. “How are you feeling, Dorothy?”

“Uh, me? Fine i guess?” Now that she asked, every fantom illness my brain could fathom started playing out in my head. I pushed it away before I could give myself fantom symptoms. “I’m fine.

“Well tell me immediately if you start feeling unwell. I can send a girl to take care of the two of you until you’re up for doing it yourselves.”

“Thanks. You probably shouldn’t be here either. You’re the president! You shouldn’t get sick.”

“True statement. I’m going to continue with my work for the day, but I’d like you to update me whenever you can.”

“You can always watch the live-“

“I don’t watch livestreams. Unedited content wastes valuable work time.”

I glanced at the computer.

Breton: DAMN

Laura: She’s not totally wrong…

Treville stood. “I’ll be going now. Good luck, Dorothy.”

“Thanks,” I said, watching her go. I looked back to a sleeping Connie then sat at my computer.

“So… okay. That just happened.”

Hey guys! Thinking about writing a part 2, but I’m not sure. Opinions? What did you think about this one? What fandoms do you want me to write for in the future? I wanna hear from you guys! :D