#(that last bit is specifically from the anime)
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Transformers x HASO Headcannons | Part 2
Back on my Transformers kick and it’s making me depressed about the realism behind humans being helpless and tiny. I also went over this in my first set of Transformers headcannons as a reply, so this is me expanding on a lot of those points.
My main focus is that if humans were the average size of other sentient beings in the Transformers universe, we would finally be taken a little bit seriously. Cue ridiculous research into humans' actual strengths.
Transformers are coming to understand our evolutionary path. Because we’re so small, it’s easily overlooked that humans are still predators. We hunt, we kill, and we’re violent. If we don’t have someone to hate as a unified group, we turn on ourselves.
But specifically, we’re pursuit predators. Our endurance and stamina is what makes us deadly. Our main hunting strategy back in the cave and hut days was literally to just walk after an animal for days on end until it either gave up or dropped dead from exhaustion. We can go miles without tiring (when trained properly).
As long as we have water, we can last a month without food. The longest someone ever fasted was for 382 days (look up Agnus Barbieri), and that was with the bare essentials of liquids and vitamins. No solid food.
And when we do have to find our own food, anything is game. We will find a way to eat it. Whether poisonous, venomous, tough-skinned, or just a lot of teeth, we will figure out a way to make it a meal. We have the advantage of being omnivores. In a game of survival, outside of predators, we’re top dogs.
While no natural armor sucks, our hairless selves are perfectly adapted to adapting to any environment. We are hella sensitive even to the slightest changes. We can smell weather changes based on moisture in the air, taste anomalies in our food, feel the slightest brush on something on our skin, etc. Our lack of armor allows for easy flexibility most species can only dream of, especially transformers. Getting into tight spots, getting out of tight spots, and moving hella fast is our bread and butter (when motivated lol).
One thing I really find interesting is our prey/predator instinct vs transformers.
Transformers did not evolve (as far as my knowledge goes) with natural predators. They have been through horrific times, from slavery under Quintessons to their own government, but the only really natural evolutionary advantage they have is their technological adaptability. Their ease of learning alien languages is an example. As well as their main transformation ability.
TF One really highlights this (small spoilers). Their planet is shown to be a constantly changing environment, from flat surfaces to rapidly changing cliff faces. Their ability to transform between a vehicle and bipedal form is imperative to quickly adapt to such a fast-paced and even deadly environment. The only predators I can account for are scraplets and spark eaters (there are probably more, but idk them). However, their reaction to this is to pull guns and freak out. They assume their technology and "superior" processes will solve all their problems.
But their cockiness in other environments shows how nonchalant they are about these interactions, and it backfires heavily. The only real threats they see are other transformers and larger sentient species. Plus diseases, but that’s a whole other thing.
Humans on the other hand have had to contend with thousands of predator species over our evolutionary path. It’s only in the last couple hundred years or so that we’ve truly eliminated most of these threats or domesticated them. And when I say eliminate, I mean either mass hunting or learning about said predators to easily deal with them and avoid dangerous situations. Our prey instinct gives us the alertness to deal with imminent threats easier than species that don’t have such a strong experience.
That leads to the big evolutionary advantage of humans - our brains. Even though we’re considered primitive by transformer standards, that’s transformer standards. A race that has existed for ten million years through technological immortality, is also their undoing. Because they have lived for so long, breaking free of long-held traditions is near impossible for their society, which is why their war took place. Without consistent generational death and birth, they are literally stuck in the past.
Humans don’t have that issue - we change with the times because of our short mortality. While not the main influence for the size of our brains, it’s a point I wanted to add to clarify why transformers may struggle to adapt to certain environments versus humans.
Through the consistent stresses we endure because of our vulnerability, we have to consistently think outside the box to survive. To stagnate is death, forward is all we can do. Our brains have developed in such a way that we can comprehend, understand, and innovate with ease. It’s our main calling card. Hell, when there’s no stress we just do that shit for fun (shrimp literally frying rice contraptions for example).
When you combine these talents and we know what the fuck we’re doing, we’re pretty much unstoppable. As long as we’re on an even playing field. Via size. Because let’s be honest, that’s the only reason humans are looked down upon (other than being organic, but if anyone has any other ideas, let em flow).
A personal fav of mine is the idea that if we were the same size as the average transformer, we’d be cryptid level creepy. The way we move, behave, even the way we smile would be unnerving, no matter how similar we look. If anything, the similarities between the average cybertronian and human would probably freak transformers out, seeing their own features reflected in an organic. Noses, eyes, teeth, especially toes.
My personal headcannon is that Transformers would think toes are so weird. Like, what’s the point of having so many extra digits? Cue our climbing abilities and balancing in weird places. Or just closing a drawer or door with a foot. Grabbing something with the dogs. Pull a chimpanzee and let the weird looks fly.
Better yet, our pain tolerance. Sure, we’re squishy and get hurt easily thanks to the lack of armor and exposed skin. But that just builds pain tolerance. We tolerate getting picked up and thrown around by these giant asses so much because it’s what we’re already used to. We teach our children coordination, balance, their physical limits, and so much more through rough play. Its how we learn to become this versatile.
Roughhousing, doing dangerous shit just for fun, our vulnerability makes us used to the pain. It becomes easy to ignore and work through. This leads to the crazy shit about getting stabbed or shot and just walking it off. Imagine a transformer losing their shit over their human getting shot and the humans just like, “damn, feels like when I burnt my hand on the stove” or some shit. Unfazed.
And ANOTHER thing. Our instincts play a big role. That feeling you get when being watched? Or uncanny valley? I have a huge headcannon that humans would not be fooled by holomatter avatars. It would just hit us immediately. Transformers have no instinct to breathe. They probably don’t think about blinking. Their movement would probably be stiff and awkward, used to navigating spaces with more stationary bulk. Sure, they could probably program their avatars to do it, but I get a feeling that you would… get a feeling.
Plus their clothes choices make no sense half of the time (I’m looking at Rodimus, wtf was that getup in swerves arc in MTMTE?? Only Nautica and Swerve looked normal, plus Megatron - without his shoulder-padded trenchcoat).
This was a 2am rant, so if it’s unclear, I apologize. And if anyone wants to clarify or make corrections, please do! Again, I am not up to date on all comics or lore, so I’m probably missing a lot of shit. This is based on my personal feelings, knowledge, and observations.
#humans are space orcs#humans are crazy#humans are space australians#humans are weird#transformers headcannon#maccadam#tf one#tf one spoilers#tf mtmte#tf prime#rodimus#megatron#nautica#swerve
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EJ is a cat, istg
Important Information: these are head canons about how cat-like EJ is, impersonal “you” form is used.
Warnings: mentions of sickness (no clue how I got there), v0m1t, d34th/mourning, po15on, ven0m, respiratory obstructions, c4nc3r and other IRL issues/diseases are briefly mentioned.
He purrs. HE. PURRS.
He loves being pet. Specifically some good scritches
Scritch his head, behind his ears, or even his chin.
Depending on how much he likes what’s going on, you can feel it in his back, chest, neck, or all three.
Wiggle Wiggle
The demon has a lot of “soft spots” that make his whole body vibrate with how happy it makes him.
When he rests on top of you and you rub that spot just below his ribs he’s practically wiggling around- Do. NOT. Stop!!
He thumps his foot or headbutts when he’s excited. He’ll even try to headbutt the air.
Unsolicited Licking
If you’re sitting calmly together, and he feels safe, you’re going to be licked.
Specifically near your wrists and forearms.
He does it out of love, and showing you that he feels safe, so he proves that you are safe. He’s not biting you, right?
*Bap*
He’s a playful motherfucker when he wants to be.
Granted, it’s not a full on *bap*, it’s really just ‘Bitch! Gimme pets. You have no choice.’
Warning Signs: How NOT to die
If his tail is moving a lot, run. He has barbs that extend when he’s threatened. It’s more of a last resort, if one comes off he’ll be bleeding for a long while, but he will break one off under your skin if it feels necessary.
He can “purr” when he’s sad. When he stretches out his neck and flings his head back a bit (I hope this makes sense) almost like he’s reaching for something but just with his head, he makes small noises/vibrations in his throat. He’s lonely, sad, stressed, anything like that.
He’s sleeping in the open. Bitch, no he isn’t. At his core, he’s a great hunter. Even in the animal kingdom, it isn’t uncommon for predators to make themselves look harmless. The second you get close enough, you’re dead.
Warning Signs: He’s Sick
The “cat stretch” means he’s either starving or about to puke. Usually the latter.
White flakes on his skin is a common, semi-deadly, disease for the Rose Demons. It’s called Skaal (scale). Make sure he doesn’t open his mouth and that he doesn’t touch it. It will go away on its own if he leaves it alone.
Despite how it looks, if he’s rubbing his face on the floor, it means there’s probably something stuck- either in his eye sockets, his throat, side vents, anything. Do. Not. Approach. You will end up in the obituaries tomorrow.
If there’s a white goop coming out of his mouth and he’s gagging, give him the Heimlich ASAP! If you leave him he’s gonna blow up his organs- literally, he probably forgot to breathe and now has too much hydrogen bouncing around his body.
It’s not as bad as you think
White foam from his mouth is NOT rabies. He can’t get rabies. However, he CAN overeat and get himself sick. Being the prideful dumbass he is- he doesn’t wanna puke, even if he knows it’s best if he does and that if he refuses to he’s gonna make it worse on himself later. If there’s white shit coming out of his mouth, yank him to the nearest bathroom and lock him in there his claws are too big for most push-locks. It’s better that way.
If he looks like he’s twitching and he seems pale, get the fuck out! Let Liu handle him!! 🔞
He has random mounds on his back when he’s hungry. He doesn’t get cysts or cancer, so he’s just hungry. Back away or get eaten.
If it looks like he has a snake in his abdomen, like something is moving in there, let Liu handle him. 🔞
If he looks really pale, and his liquid keeps coming out of his sockets and his mouth, he isn’t sick. He’s mourning. It could be a lot of things, but just let him cope for a while.
Divider Creds: Sister-Lucifer
Header Creds: MEEE!!
#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#crp#crp fandom#creepypasta headcanon#crp headcanon#eyeless jack#liu x ej#ej headcanons#eyeless jack creepypasta#creepypasta ej#ej creepypasta#jack nyras#tw vomit#cw vomit#tw sickness#cw sickness#tw serious illness/disease#cat like EJ#ej is a fucking cat I swear to everything#ej can’t keep it in his pants sometimes istg#sort of nsft#nsft mention#creepypasta demons#rose demons#barely proof read
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Hey, if you think they're endearing, then good on ya.
I guess I could see it being the guardian seeing in all directions sort of way, but that sort of placement is known for giving animals a more difficult time seeing what's directly in front of them. So, if that were the explanation, you'd think that they'd be able to retain the third eye to balance that out? Like, if that were the case, then I might actually be able to live with it a bit better. Because right in front is still an important area to be able to keep an eye one.
The only other real issue I have with the BotW dragons is the end of their tails. They don't taper & the just... end in a spike??? It's really weird???
So, I'd honestly prefer the tail design they put in the reference art book:
Which, btw, they might not have gone with any of them, but I'm glad we at least get to see the reference art of them.
But, yeah. Just letting them keep the third eye & give them a more lion-like tail would've immensely improved my perception of their designs.
So, maybe like this concept art of the Light Dragon:
Maybe the little green dot between her bigger eyes could be representative of that third eye?
.... You know what, I can understand being a bit unsettled by the SS dragos' faces. That makes perfect sense. Has a bit of an uncanny feel to them, huh?
Wait... You didn't like their voices??? You're not including the operatic qualities, are you????? I liked that little characteristic!!
Mmm... Possible. Though, I think one issue might be that Naydra is very specifically an ice dragon, not a water one. Of course, it's entirely possible that she's just not using her water magic recently. But... I dunno, I'm sorry if I'm a bit resistant to the idea.
Hmm... So, maybe you'd prefer a bit of a middle point like this?
(Not my art.)
Though, I'd definitely add on the unique features that the SS dragons possessed. Things like the almost water-like underbelly of Faron, the actual flaming eyebrows of Eldin, & the magnificent thundercloud beard of Lanayru. Also, I kinda liked their colors.
Actually, when I think about it, the Zonai Dragons are almost entirely the same exact base design besides their highlight colors & their horns. Other than that, they're legitimately the same exact white base model...
So, it really might be best to insert more of the SS dragons in there to give them more personality & life. Which is where I think the SS dragons really shine & the BotW dragons very much don't.
But, with their BotW names, maybe? Or OOO!!! Combine!! Maybe something like Eridinraal for the fire dragon? Fironaydra for the ice dragon? And maybe Lanellosh for the thunder dragon?
Though, keep in mind that Faron (Firona) very prominently has the symbol of Farore upon her brow. Likewise, Lanayru (Lanelle or Lanello) has the mark of Nayru upon his. So, that might be something to keep in mind.
No, now the part of Rauru mentioning that he named it after a mythical kingdom is totally fair. Though, at the same time, we really only see, like, a handful of scenes with him. So, from a narrative perspective, it's entirely possible that he actually did mention such to Zelda during her stay, it just wasn't something that Link was privy to. I mean, Zelda & Rauru obviously interacted much more often than what we saw, so it's entirely within the realm of possibility that it was just one of those things he mentioned that wouldn't have fit into one of the various Tear cutscenes. Though, personally, I think the best place to have put something like that would've actually been during the tutorial on the Great Sky Island. Because you actually have Rauru's spirit appearing here & there & making random commentary. So, it's kind of the best place that it would've fit, huh?
Same with a mention of Rauru & Sonia's possible child or even just melancholic reminiscing on how he & his sister were the last of their species, which means that the Zonai are dead with their only known legacy being Zelda & the various ruins scattered hither & yon. Like, I don't care what anyone says, that must hit like a freight train.
Really? Did you not read the hidden diary behind the bookshelf in Rhoam's study? I believe that part of the canon reason for Zelda's struggle with her abilities was mentioned in both Rhoam & Zelda's diaries.
Rhoam mentions that Zelda's mother died "suddenly & unexpectedly" when Zelda was 6 years old or so. Which, I believe, was noted to have been not long before his daughter was supposed to begin her training. (And this part is more speculative.) This brings up the possibility that it was actually her mother that Zelda inherited her sealing magic from. As well as the possibility that Rhoam & the rest of the Kingdom believed that it was her mother who was going to seal the Calamity & not the young Princess Zelda.
Likewise, Zelda mentions in the 13th Memory in BotW that her grandmother was able to hear voices from the spirit realm & that her mother told her Zelda would develop the power. Not only that, in both Rhoam & Zelda's diaries, they both mention that she hadn't only lost a mother, "but also a teacher." As such, this all-but confirms that at least the main reason for her difficulty in learning was the simple fact that she had no teacher. Or that what teachers she may have, quite simply knew nothing of how to access that power.
She was, quite literally, on her own. Which also explains why Rhoam had very little clue as to how to help her unlock them. It may've even been that he figured, "Well, these powers come from Hylia, right? So, maybe she can unlock it?" Or, maybe his wife was especially devout & prayed often? Or, it may even have been possible that the line about how "prayer will awaken her power" originally came from her mother. We don't know. But what we do know is that Zelda had no teacher. And that could very well have been the main reason as to why she struggled as she did.
Though, a little side-note: I actually hc that the queen was assassinated. Most likely, by Yiga using an untraceable poison. As to whether they did it of their own accord or if maybe the Calamity entered one of their dreams & ordered them, I don't know. But I can't help but find the timing of her death very suspicious. Like, it was literally a year before she was to begin training her daughter. Which further emphasizes another hc of mine: Calamity Ganon is most likely Demise's hatred & death curse in its most primal state without anything to hold it back. Remember that the curse is specifically tied to the blood of the goddess & the spirit of the hero. It's been at least 10,000 years, if not more, since Skyward Sword. Regardless of whether you believe that the Wild Era is at the end of a re-merged timeline, or one that split off from Skyward Sword. It's most likely that every Hylian & Sheikah, possibly even Gerudo, living in Hyrule at the time of the Calamity, had at least a drop of Hylia's blood in them. Because, remember, Family Trees fork & they tend to have many, many branches. Which, if this is the case, then you strip the humanity from that hate-fueled curse, them no wonder the population of Hyrule took such a huge nosedive:
Like, when they named what happened a Calamity, they weren't kidding. The Bokoblin population is higher than the Hylian one in modern-day Wild Era Hyrule. But before that, it was most likely somewhere in the realm of several millions. Which, I read somewhere that when casualties reach 1 million, it's called a megadeath. So, this wasn't just another Ganon attack. It was an actual extinction-level cataclysm. The Calamity wasn't just looking to kill the Hyrulean Royal Family, it was looking to exterminate the Hylians as a race. Which is entirely counterintuitive to TotK Ganondorf's goal. At least, as it was before he stole the stone. This is why I think that there was something very weird going on with the Stone. Because, in the first Tear memory, the language he uses in the Japanese version, very specifically, indicates a desire to rule, control, or subjugate. You can't subjugate anyone if they're all dead. But, then, in the cutscene with his emo unicorn, his language changes to ordering his monster army to, essentially, extirpate Hyrule & all those who side with it. Specifically saying to leave no survivors. And I say extirpate because of the very specific wording that was used in the Japanese. Which was Konzetsu (根絶) or Nedayashi ni suru (根絶やしにする). While this is typically translated to "Eradicate," the imagery here is very specific in that it is supposed to bring to mind the image of pulling something up by its root & destroying it utterly. Which is also extirpate's exact translation.
This is very, very different to his goals before that, where his language included terms such as Suberu (統べる) which means command & Ganondorf uses it to signify a desire for absolute control. And Sadameru (定める) which means shape, however, it was used to indicate both a desire for a decision-making role as well as a wish to dominate & dictate. So, unless he meant that he wished to have a decision-making role over ash, I'm almost positive that something funky was going on with Ganondorf & the Stone. But, sorry. Went off on a major tangent there. Also, this wasn't an attempt at changing your mind or anything, I just have issues with talking too much. Again, unskippable dialog. 😅
I mean, yeah. The rockets, fans, & wheels were most definitely too modern-looking for the setting to make sense. Though, most of the other tech had a very pleasing design to them. I really liked the interesting mix of ancient Chinese & Mesoamerican. Which, holy cow! The Zonai are Latin-coded! 😃 It made me wish that Rauru & Mineru had more Latin accents as a result! That could've been cool!
Do you think that had Nintendo not made everything about the Zonai, that you wouldn't dislike them so much? Regardless, they actually didn't show up from nowhere. Do you remember the ruins in Faron? In fact, Creating a Champion even mentions them:
Though, I believe that the Faron Zonai most likely originally came about from the hybrid children of Zonai & Hylians that persisted after the complete extinction of the original Zonai race. This would've allowed them to take on their own identities while still retaining a degree of the Zonai's architectural influence, which you can see a bit of in the Faron ruins, now referred to as the Zonai Ruins in TotK. However, if this were the case, it's possible that the reason that most of the OG Zonai all died, but not the hybrids, could've been due to some sort of disease? Heck, it's even possible that the hybrids' Hylian DNA could've been immune to this hypothetical disease. But, that's mostly speculation on my part, I'll admit.
In my mind, it's very unlikely that the Ancient Hero was actually a full Zonai & it's far more likely that he was one of those hybrids.
But, as far as the actual technology, I think what I didn't like most was... I dunno... I just couldn't get over the fact that it was all so disposable. Like, that was literally how they were designed. They had flippin' gotcha machines! And the fact of the matter is that they were made from ore from the ground. As such, the amount of resources it took to build them must've been unfathomable! Like, sure, they disappear into nothing upon being used up, but at the same time, the metal used to make them still needed to be excavated!
Like, don't get me wrong. It makes complete sense in terms of gameplay, but if you want to approach it from a story perspective where a writer has to approach it like it's an actual world, then I immediately see so many problems!
And, while I very much agree with the ToP being a great source of power (possibly even one of the greatest), my thoughts are that, yes, it would give more power, but that it feels more like a more general type of power. Or rather, a similar type of power to what created the Master Sword. Meanwhile, the Stone gave him a different kind or quality of power. Like, for one, the power that Ganondorf's stone enhanced is one that is specifically known to corrode & decay. The ToP never had that sort of thing indicated.
... I guess you could think about it like how, normally, a sword is too hard to break on your own no matter how strong you are. However, if you were to intentionally cause that sword to rust, then you could likely shatter the sword to pieces if you smashed it against a rock hard enough. So, this is what I mean. It isn't that TotK Ganondorf has more raw power than, say, the Dorfs of OoT, TP, WW, or HW. It's that the very specific power that the Stone enhanced in TotK's Dorf allowed him to directly affect the Master Sword itself in a way that it couldn't combat effectively. Because his Gloom didn't simply break the Master Sword. It eroded it. Because, even if it's a divine sword, it is still a sword. Meaning it is made of metal.
Meanwhile, as I said before, I tend to see the power that the Triforce grants as a power that very specifically is not his. It belongs to the Triforce. It is the Triforce's power, it exists independent of his influence, & it would give the same exact power & amount of power to anyone who possessed it. It isn't a modifier. It's a "here have this, as well as your own."
I also believe that in one of the videos I watched on this, it was specifically noted that enough On'nen is even capable of killing gods. And what is the Master Sword, but a weapon forged by the gods?
In other words, his Gloom broke the Master Sword because it was the exact perfect counter to the Master Sword in every way.
It's like... Have you ever watched Dragon Ball Z or Danny Phantom?
If not, then the thing about DBZ is that the characters are obscene powerful. Galaxy-destroying powerful. Literally, the first season of DBZ, the 2nd big bad, was able to reduce a planet to actual dust & rubble floating within the vast void of space. Everyone there, dead in an instant without even a fuss. And it only gets even crazier from there.
In Danny Phantom, there are Ghosts & none that I've seen are able to do something on that scale so casually as in DBZ. However, one of their most common powers is being able to turn intangible & phase through solid objects. Like, literally, every Ghost is able to do this. And, one can even reach through a wall to grab something that they put there before in the actual cement & remove it from said wall. Casually & with no issue. And even the literal weakest Ghost in the show can do this.
Now, without that extra context, you'd think that "oh, this super powerful, strong, DBZ villain could totally destroy this weakling Ghost." But, that ignores the fact that said weakling Ghost can literally just reach right into said DBZ villain's chest & pull out his heart. Or his bones. Or his brain.
DBZ Villain: Dead. Weak Ghost: Win.
So, in such a situation, it doesn't matter that he can destroy planets because, at the end of the day, he is still subject to being a mortal who needs his heart in order to function. And, the weakling Ghost just so happens to have the exact, very unassuming power that would end that villain's threat in a single second.
Or, if you're more of a Pokémon fan, you could equate it to putting Giratina up against an Arceus that only knows Normal & Fighting moves, but none of them are Foresight or Odor Sleuth. Like, yes, Arceus is the Pokéverse's Golden Three. But that doesn't matter in this specific instance. At least, not as far as in-game goes. Because, by & large, the Giratina is both a Legendary Pokémon & is extremely effective just by its nature of being a Ghost-type up against a Normal-type with no attacks that can really affect it.
Essentially, Ganondorf's Gloom is the Master Sword's Achilles Heel.
Or, maybe think of the Triforce as an A+50 & the Secret Stones as an Ax2. They just work differently. The question here isn't how much A gets out of it. The question is, what is A?
Because, depending on what A is, then in some cases, x2 will actually result in a higher value than +50 even though 50 seems like such a big number & 2 a very small one.
For instance, if A = 20, then A+50 = 70 & Ax2 = 40. So, here, +50 wins.
But, if A = 150, then A+50 = 200 & Ax2 = 300. Suddenly, x2 is more advantageous than +50.
...
Sorry, I got a bit into the metaphor. My bad. 😅 I hope I didn't confuse you more.
Anyway, I wouldn't say that the map of MC was entirely unique. I'm pretty sure it's a very similar location to the one in aLttP, just around a couple thousand years of time difference.
And there are a number of locations in the BotW map that seem to actually be named after some of the areas in MC & that they're all in that general area I theorize it to have been in, I kinda can't help but think that the designers were trying to tell us something.
I mean, Menshi Woods? Pico Pond? Crenel Hills & Peak? The Veiled Falls in the Zora's Domain? Trillby Plains & Trillby Valley?
I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into it? But, to be fair, I'm pretty sure that MC was my first ever Zelda Game, so I maaay be a tiny bit protective of it. XD
Hi, sorry if this is a bit rude. 😅 I guess that I was just wondering. How would Jabul Waters, Zora Cove, & Crossflows Plaza be named in French?
I'm trying to give Jabul Waters an interesting name that works to go with my hc & I came up with "Jabuleaux." And Google Translate tells me that Crossflows Plaza would be Place des Flux Croisés. And, I'm seeing that Anse is the term to refer to a cove &, if that's true, then would Zora Cove be Zoranse? At the same time, somewhere else, it said that Anse actually means beach.
And, I believe that a town by a swamp would have cher, quier, bren, brin, or Hor- in it?
I'm sorry if this is weird... 😅
Hi! Don't worry it's not rude or weird at all! I offered to help and I'm happy to do so :D
Did you check the official French translations? I had a surprisingly hard time finding the French version of the map online so here's a screenshot I took myself:
Jabul Waters = Eaux de Jabule (this one only appears when I zoom out)
Zora Cove = Baie Zora
Crossflows Plaza = Place de l'Estuaire
In case you didn't know the Zelda Wiki often lists names for places or characters in various languages in the "Nomenclature" section of its pages. It's very helpful especially if you're searching for the original Japanese names. If we look at at the different names for Crossflows Plaza we can see that a literal translation from Japanese would be something like "Exchanging Place". I checked the Jisho dictionary and it seems to be an accurate translation, though "Place for Cultural Exchanges" would be more meaningful.
It's not exactly a good name in English so it makes sense that the localization team would come up with something like Crossflows Plaza instead, which in my opinion does a very good job of stating that this is both the place where the river meets the sea and where the two Zora tribes traditionally meet each other.
Other European languages all settled for variations of "Estuary Plaza" ("Place de l'Estuaire" in French), which is fine but looses the "cultural exchanges" aspect of both the original name and the English translation.
I've been trying to come up with a French translation of "Crossflows Plaza" but it's not that easy. To me "Place des Flots Croisés" or "Place Flots-Croisés" would sound better than "Place des Flux Croisés", but I still find it a bit weird ("flot" meaning flow, tide or stream). "La Croisée des Flots" is another option if you agree to get rid of Plaza/Place (it means "the intersection/junction of streams"), but I don't think it works very well as a name.
You could also mix words to create a name the same way it was done in English, something like "Place Croiseaux" (croiser/cross + eau/waters). If any of my French speaking followers is feeling inspired, please share your ideas! :)
(I just thought of "Place Cruciflot" and found it too funny not to mention 😆 maybe it sounds too much like crucifix)
In French we also have the word "confluence" that has the exact same meaning as it does in English: either the meeting of two rivers or a gathering of some kind. So to me the most obvious translation would be something like "Place des Confluences" or maybe "Place Confluence", as it would preserve the dual meaning, but it's not very fancy or creative. Maybe we could simply change the spelling to something like Place Konfluans, the same way "Village Côtier" (Seaside Village) is spelled "Village Kothié" (Seesyde Village). But it doesn't look like a French word anymore so I'm not sure that's something you'd like.
As for Jabuleaux, it can work but I prefer the official translation "Eaux de Jabule". Same thing for Zoranse, we would say "Anse Zora" or "Anse des Zora". The official French translation is "Baie Zora" (Zora Bay), which I think is more appropriate given the size of the sea inlet (in my understanding an anse/cove is a small baie/bay and isn't very deep). I think maybe it should have been bay in English as well instead of cove, but I might be wrong! Also I believe "anse" isn't used as often as "baie" and might be confusing for most people, so I would go with "Baie Zora".
I'm not sure where you found this information about swamps and town names? I didn't find anything to confirm it but I might not have looked in the right places.
French towns are often ancient and their names can derive from other languages such as Celtic, Occitan, Flemish, or regional dialects, so that's a very difficult question and I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer ^^
I still did a little search and found an Old French word for swamp, "palud" or "palu", that still appears in some town names such as La Palud-sur-Verdon, Saint-Pierre-la-Palud, Lapalud, etc. (today we say "marais" or "marécage"). You might be right about "bren", it could be something like muddy in Gallic.
There's also "vign" or "mign" (from Celtic), as in Mignéville or Lévignac, or l'Île de Migneaux on the Seine river (this one's in my city!).
Near where I grew up is a town named Hazebrouck, it literally means "hare swamp" (brouck/broek = swamp in Flemish). For a bit more French flavor you could maybe use -broucq or -breucq instead of -brouck.
I think the vast majority of French people have no clue about all of that (I didn't except for the last one and it's more Flemish than French), so I'd say don't oversweat it ;)
And that's all! I hope you'll find this helpful ^^
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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i’ve decided that post-canon Ed and Winry keep a little flock of chickens and it’s mostly a bunch of sweet hens that they and the kids dote on, but they also have a tiny yellow bantam rooster which Ed is in a FEUD with. they are NEMESES. this creature keeps escaping from the run and getting into things he shouldn’t and pecking at Ed’s ankles every chance he gets. the kids love him and ‘accidentally’ let him into the house where he causes utter chaos. Ed insists this is the most vile creature in the world. but of course everyone else who sees their altercations is just like “Ah. He has found a kindred spirit.”
#was contemplating a fic last night#for my 'Ed develops chronic fatigue as a result of that one time he used his own life energy as a power source' headcanon#but got very sidetracked thinking about chickens#they all have names that are either very specific mechanical engineering terms or elements/alchemical compounds#they call the rooster Pete but it's short for 'Saltpeter'#Ed did not think he was going to get attached to the chickens because he's not an Animal Person the way Al is#but in true dad-who-insisted-he-didn't-want-a-pet fashion it takes him like two weeks to become utterly smitten#fusses over 'the girls' and brings them the *good* weeds from other parts of the yard#has been seen chasing predators away from the coop brandishing a frying pan#has to go sit with them for a bit in the morning when he lets them out#(until the rooster attacks him)#gives effusive speeches about how marvelous it is that eggs exist#Winry finds it all deeply amusing#i'm not very fandom about this show i mostly just point at it and go 'wow! a good story!'#but this is what matters to me i guess#Edward Elric has chronic fatigue and chickens#fma
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I hate having really pretty visually interesting dreams because I know I'll wake up and forget it and even if I try to draw them before I forget I won't be able to recreate the style :(
#i had two dreams like this last night#don't remember that much of what was happening in the first one other than taking a test at school#but everyone was don bluth style animals (specifically All Dogs Go to Heaven) and all the coloring was done in beautiful pale watercolors#and my second dream was vaguely about Dungeon Meshi and the legend of the Golden Kingdom#(it was a really inaccurate portrayal but that makes sense since it was just a dream‚ i can't expect it to be 100% at all times lol)#but it was done in a really fluid and bouncy vintage anime style that was so pretty (don't know what to compare the more detailed parts to)#(maybe like The Rose of Versailles style? not sure haven't watched it BUT the small parts of the dream were done in old Hello Kitty style)#(i specifically remember Thistle looking very similar to Kuromi whenever they smiled or laughed)#but ANYWAYS i mostly remember two scenes#where we're at a fountain with a statue of Delgal‚ which twists and shifts into the cloaked 'mad mage' imagined portrayal-#and then the cloak twirls again to shift into Thistle themselves in a very fancy jester outfit and then they take a big bow to the camera#the second scene i remember was with Thistle close up to the camera and smiling as they held a little spinning music box of the Winged Lion#and then the characters both shifted again so that it ended up as being the Winged Lion holding up a tiny music box of Thistle#uhhhhhh. i also remember some bit where Thistle was being very mean and laughing from atop the fountain but i don't remember what was said#anyways the dreams weren't that good story wise but i can't emphasize enough how pretty they looked and I'll never be able to recreate them#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#just in case lmao?
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do you have any pets in your life (don't have to be yours i just wanna see aminals..) :0
hi jack :) can you watch this while i go smoke
#ask#raidendotcom#jack im so sorry i wanted to send like 9 images of possums i have saved to my phone and i was SO tempted to do so#but this specific one in particular..........#i dont have any pets though.... :(#my last pet was a cat we had named Fatso (we didnt name him that. it was the name he had when we got him)#but we had to give him to another family. im sure hes doing just fine today :)#before him we had a guinea pig named Munchy that i took home from the woman who'd cut my hair#the first animal i thought was our pet was a golden retriever named Rusty#he was actually my uncles dog (he lives close by) and hed always hang around our house and we also kept dog treats that my brothers ate#he was a golden retriever - poodle mix. but the only poodle part of him was his ears. he had curly fur on just his ears :)#we have a photo somewhere of Rusty and me with my aunt playing in some leaves#shoutout to Rusty... fucking loved that dog even if my perception of who owned him wasnt correct as a 3-5 year old...#also yes i remember a memory of being on my front porch and my brothers were eating dog treats out of the box#i feel like they were scooby doo branded or something.#it was between the years of 2001-2003#i also have a memory of them just throwing some CDs around outside like frisbees#like i remember broken disc bits in our front yard#i also remember drawing treasure maps a lot and me and my middle brother would light the edges on fire to make it look authentic#i also remember putting rocks in the airhole to the tornado shelter we had in our front yard#listen the doors to it were big logs so we werent in need of using it any time soon. plus tornadoes dont occur around here#its still there. but ive never been inside it so i have no clue what the inside looks like#its just a hill with two doors aimed 70 degrees towards the sky. and theres an airhole hidden at the top of the hill#or it was an airhole until i shoved some rocks in it#🤗✨ oh well#anyway thank you raaiden for the ask :)#sorry i was too committed to the bit to send more opossums :( i hope you can forgive me :) >:)
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💫💥today💥💫 i start learning blender >:| !!
#just me hi#^ determination face lmfsh#it looks like this sometimes too >:<#or this :3 or this >:333 or this :( hbfvhs#ANyway.. yea :> i wanna learn to animate w/ it#synfig almost killed me the other day in a duel to the death (i won but the costtttttt hghfj) so of course i'm going to. the killatron 3000#specifically the 2d animation anyway cuz that's my favorite kind..#3d is really neat and really cool and i love how it can be stylized but i like. pictures hbhfvsh#and somewhere i came to conclusion it'd be easier to learn so Lmao let's see how long that lasts 💥🦾#i've tried using clip's animation feature too but you know what i can't say i like how it's set up lol </3#//i've got a gooood handful of ideas for different projects rn so i'm trying to do everything as fast as i can like usual so i don't#forget them or something hbfsh#i've got ideas for pi.e and a couple i think could be cool for bl.s and definitely some stuff for $1.75 so i've gotta just spin them really#fast until i can get to them lolll#and i also want to write which i consider to be a separate thing from the rest of this#forgot i had a google doc for my pi.e stuff so i wanna work on that a bit....#and also $1.75 i wanna blend them..........#blending my pocket change lmfsh#//anywho i gotta get something to eat rn#eggs were made this morning.. can't have those lol.. maybe i'll have straight sour cream with chihuahua cheese on the side... gourmet.....#//but until that i've got my other things and stuffs i needa do#so yea i'm gonna skittle off and do those hfsh :)#tooodles ~+~+~ !
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at some point i have to wonder if people actually like reigen as much as they claim bc fr some of them act like calling him pathetic and whatever is a personality. its not like im defending a fictional mans feelings but at some point u just get tired of the constant memeing on a character that canonically has an entire plot revolving around self worth
#mp100#reigen arataka#no fr constant memeing on a character…. genuinely aggravating.#its not fun for ppl who just wanna talk abt a character they like#bc we have to wade thru the ocean of ppl who only talk abt reigen in insults#this is what happened to komaeda fans btw if you need another example#tbh i think this usually is a thing with anime-onlies#theyre only familiar with the more… fast-paced and attractive reigen BONES animated#the specific reigen dubbed an ‘internet sex symbol’#not just. reigen arataka from the mob psycho 100 manga#yeah idk i guess people continuing to meme and mock reigen in tbe last episode#even tho that part of the manga really hit differently and i took it a bit more grimly i guess..#it just bothered me fhjehdjsj#tag addendum: like calling him a huge failure or stupid or pathetic in his attempt to talk shigeo down. like um#this guy is fighting for his life can you save your snide comments about his existence for another time?#there really is more to reigen then just 'being pathetic all the time' like fr
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Going to the vet today :')👍 bc I'm going to be out of town tomorrow & I don't want to leave this problem hanging w/o supervision
#speculation nation#cassy is not feeling better. so to the animal hospital i go.#specifically it's smth last night that kinda freaked me out#passed stool lying down & made a noise of pain. Really freaked me out.#i dont. deal well. when a cat makes noises like that.#so yea the post i made last night is about this#i get that bone deep dread & panic from when my last cat suddenly got sick & had to be put down#bone deep Terror in a way. but at least Cassy's still able to walk around & eat a little bit#so it's not the same. it's Not the same.#still not pleasant to deal with though!#i ended up sleeping on the couch last night so i could hold him. then he left me after a few hours & i just kept sleeping there lol#not the most comfortable sleep. but im worried about him.#well. we'll see what the vet says i guess.#animal death ment/#animal illness ment/#negative/
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exactly this...🥹😭❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Oh my god.......
#talk tag#(oomf is pendwelling btw)#“s class women are drawn so lovingly I've only seen yerim so far but i really agree... 🥹😭#(i got up to ep 12 last night)#they are drawn with so much love care and respect... unlike in sooo many male dominated action fantasy series i've seen...#it feels like such a bare minimum thing but seeing a teenage girl being drawn like an actually realistic teenage girl-#and treated like a human being.... i feel like i can breathe for once#instead of gritting my teeth in pain every time a woman is onscreen#like when i look at yusuke murata or hiroyuki imaishi's shit#or just like MOST anime + male male mangaka works#(ik those r jp but kr men are just as disgusting)#i dont like to assume authors genders but from what ive heard abt the misogyny in kr...#im like. 100% sure seri/biwan 작가님들 are women (and i heard the og novel author is also a woman)#ive been thinking this for a while but...#but it's really obvious that all these kr novels with male protags that i love like TWSB s classes etc are written by korean women...#my oomf told me s classes is... and i rly suspect TWSB is too. ofc again i dont like to speculate out of respect but... Yeah#I'm guessing the academy's undercover professor too...#(orv is confirmed to be written by a married couple)#i always thought this but protagonists like jung yeseo clearly feel like male protagonists written by women...-#not bc theyre feminine/'written like women' but bc theyre written like. normal people. who arent misogynists. and well.#TWSB and i was surprised to see it with AUP too are clearly feminist novels tho... both of them(def for twsb since im more familiar w it)-#make a point of showing women in positions of power at every opportunity and specifically the HIGHEST positions of power...#eg for twsb: emperor(empress) king(queen) and even God...#anyway im really proud of all these authors and they really deserve every bit of success#to circle back to the post: I LOVE BIWAN-NIM'S ART SOOO MUCH... SERI/BIWAN MY GOATS🥹😭#her shim cheong#my s class hunters#s class#s class liveblog
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⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you show your husband some affection, thinking you two were alone - only to be interrupted by your son.
tags. dad!toji fushiguro x wife!female reader. fluff, suggestive. mentions of toji developing / having a dad bod. & reader having a mom bod. reader gets called ‘princess, mama (by gumi)’. baby gumi waking up bcs of a nightmare. excuse me - not beta read bcs i was half asleep when writing this rt_t
“tooooji,” you smile as you enter the kitchen. you’ve put megumi to bed - finally - and have the chance to spend some one-on-one time with your dear husband. both of you deserve the rest after a hard day of work.
toji has been putting the dishes back in their designated spots whilst you were away. the dark-haired man turns his head to the side once he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist. a small grin tugs at his lips, “missed me, princess?”
you roll your eyes. even if years have passed since your marriage, toji has not stopped using that specific nickname for you. he loves calling you ‘princess’, because that’s what you’ll always be to him. in his eyes, at least.
“mhm,” you decide to indulge him. you bury your face into his broad back, feeling the muscles he’s worked so hard on obtaining. after megumi was born, toji did let himself go for a bit, but that is a good sign.
it means he’s content with his life - this peaceful life that he’s settled down for with no regrets. no more being reckless, no more battling for money; he’s now got a family to come back home to after all.
“is the little brat asleep?” toji asks while putting the last dish away. he’s visibly enjoying your warm hands that have slid under his shirt. your skin is so soft to the touch compared to his.
you chuckle and nod to his question. “gumi’s sleeping like a baby,” you rub your husband’s stomach gently, feeling the little bumps of his fading abs. you’re loving his new body - just as much as toji loves yours.
toji turns around to face you, desperately needing to return the favor. he can’t get enough of being with you. his rough hands grab your waist and bring you closer against his body, until your chests are nearly touching. he lowers his head to your neck, “that means i can show my wife how much i love her, yeah?”
you shiver at how toji’s voice turns from soft and gentle to sexual and husky. big hands find their place on your tummy, massaging the loose skin with its stretch marks. you can hear your husband’s breath hitch. “fuck,” toji swallows his spit, his fingers moving to grasp your hips.
toji loves how your hips got wider after you’ve given birth to your child. every change in your body, whether big or small, is completely welcomed by him. your body has blessed toji with a son he loves and he’ll forever be grateful for that fact. the least he can do is take his time to appreciate you.
“so beautiful,” toji sighs as he leaves soft pecks on your neck and throat. his fingers are working their way down to your thighs and ass—not leaving a single patch of skin untouched. his lips eventually find yours and you melt into his embrace.
it’s getting heated and the tension is palpable. toji’s about to lift you into his arms when you catch a glimpse of a short figure in the doorway. your eyes widen and you immediately detach your lips from your husband’s.
toji quickly catches on and sighs. he cocks his head to the left, the sight of his toddler standing at the doorway coming into view. “damn kid,” he whispers, nearly pouting because of the interruption. you playfully slap his bicep—a warning to fix his potty mouth in front of megumi.
“h-hey, gumi,” you say with an awkward giggle, walking towards the child. you fix your shirt in the meantime, straightening the material. you crouch down to megumi’s level and pat his head tenderly, “what happened? why are you out of bed?”
megumi stares up at you with teary eyes. he’s clenching onto his dog plushie, hugging the stuffed animal to his little body. you can easily guess that he’s scared—probably because of a nightmare. he’s been getting those more frequently.
though, instead of explaining himself, megumi searches for answers to something else. he points at his dad who’s leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. the toddler then looks back at you like he’s made some big discovery;
“mama papa kissing!”
you nearly choke on your spit. megumi’s a clever little boy and it shows through his advanced vocabulary. you’re surprised that he’s learnt what that meant already. you try to deny what your child said, “no, uhm, mama and papa were just hugging!”
toji snorts at your half assed excuse. he lazily walks over to you two, hands in his pockets. he bends forwards and looks megumi in the eyes with a huge smirk on his face. “yeah, we were. ‘n you totally ruined it,” he utters without any shame and menacingly sticks his tongue out at the little boy.
you hiss and lightly shove toji—he cannot take anything seriously. you’re trying your best to distract megumi’s attention from what he’s seen his parents do, to what his reason is for waking up.
“did you have a nightmare again?” you coo and pick your son up. he instantly snuggles up to you and presses his face against your chest in search of comfort. you smile and can conclude that your assumptions are right.
you pet megumi’s head whilst softly humming one of his favorite lullabies. toji watches your interaction with his son and his mood softens once more. he silently hugs you from behind—also wrapping an arm around megumi—turning it into a little family group hug.
“y’re all right, buddy,” toji mutters to megumi and the little boy sniffles in response, “mama ‘n papa ‘re right here.”
after a couple minutes, you carry megumi back to his room before putting him down in his bed. your husband stands next to you as you make sure your kid is tucked in properly.
megumi stares up at you with a sniff and you nearly melt at the adorable sight. you brush his bangs out of his eyes and kiss his forehead, wishing him a good night. the toddler nods and hugs his plushie to his chest again, still a bit shaken up from the nightmare. however, he’s doing a lot better after he got comforted by both his parents.
“sweet dreams, gumi,” you whisper and rub megumi’s cheeks with a fond smile on your lips. toji simply stares at you conversing with megumi—his face showing little to no emotion. though, from within, toji is absolutely in awe at your motherly personality. you’re the perfect mother.
megumi gets drowsy and tosses onto his side so he could be more comfortable. he struggles to open his eyes, but manages to look at toji. the little boy pouts and points another finger at his dad, this time drowsily warning him, “papa no kiss mama, ‘kay?”
that comment catches you off guard. you’re embarrassed by the fact that megumi still remembers what he’s seen in the kitchen. you try to clear your throat and explain yourself, but toji’s one step ahead of you. he silently mimics megumi’s words and rolls his eyes—
“yeah yeah, whatever. i won’t,” toji promises his son. the toddler clearly inherited your husband’s protectiveness. you chuckle at the playfulness between the two, enjoying the jokey banter the father-son duo have each time.
megumi huffs in victory and nods. he can sleep in peace now, knowing his dad won’t try anything funny with you. he closes his weary eyes and is asleep within just a few seconds.
you stretch your arms and sigh in content. you can’t help but chuckle once you notice how megumi’s fallen asleep with a tiny smile on his lips. you give the child one last forehead kiss before leaving the room in silence.
toji follows right behind you. now that his son is sound asleep, he doesn’t have to keep his promise. technically— he wasn’t planning to anyway.
“c’mere,” your husband mumbles and grabs your hand. he pulls you into a tight hug, hands instantly roaming your body which he admires so much. he plants his lips onto yours not a second later.
you smile into the kiss, finding it funny how toji couldn’t keep his (fake) promise for even one second. he would die if he actually couldn’t kiss you, and that isn’t even an exaggeration.
toji pulls back after a moment and smirks at you—those bedroom eyes of his very telling.
“so, where were we?”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x you#toji x you#jjk fluff#toji fluff#jjk x y/n#toji x y/n#star divider by benkeibear
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Can i pls request some face sitting headcanons for bllk guys? Specifically Sae, Rin, Shido, Oliver and Bachira solely because i think they're the nastiest 😆🫣 thank God!
𝐒𝐈𝐓.
🪽 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ face sitting with blue lock boys! ~
·˚ ◌༘͙[featuring] ! ˊ 𝐒𝐀𝐄 & 𝐑𝐈𝐍. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐔. 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑. 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀.
cw — gn!reader. afab!reader. so much oral sex. edging. overstimulation. spanking. spitting. squirting. full on tongue fucking. denied orgasms. pervy behavior. shidou being an animal.
◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ author’s note! : FUCK—this too me way too long to finish, but here it is! apologies nonnie for taking forever ;-;
₊˚ෆ 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐄
slow n steady always wins the race. a motto sae keeps firm when it comes to sex, no matter what he’s doing. when it comes to oral though..god. the agonizing drag of his tongue while he holds you by your hips, moving them against his mouth as he kissed your sensative clit before prodding his tongue against your hole. everytime you try to speed up your pace, his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips and waist to keep you in your place. he might as well be edging the fuck out of you until you finally feel the knot snap in two and gush all over your boyfriend’s mouth. sae, bedroom eyes and all, would admire your fucked out face and trembling body before flipping you onto your back and continuing where he left off. safe to say, you aren’t getting out of his grip until you squirted every last drop.
“s-sae..quit being a tease..” you stuttered, trying your hardest not to buck your hips. if it wasn’t for sae’s strength, you would’ve gone wild and full on rode his face like a madman. his whole arms wrapped around your thighs, gripping tighter then usual while he switched from your clit to your sensitive pussy. sae’s sharp, jade eyes staring up at yours. his pupils were blown with a burning desire all too clear to you, as if his tongue movements didn’t say enough. god, he was a patient one and it was getting on your last nerves. a thought he promptly smacked you out of with a simple strike to the ass.
“paitience, darling. or i’ll leave you like this, i can’t stand whiny whores who get greedy.”
₊˚ෆ 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐑𝐈𝐍
rin is more needier then his older brother, encouraging your carnal desires and egging you on as you rode his face as fast n hard as you please. the guy was basically making out with your cunt, open mouthed kisses and his tongue prying through your pussy had you gripping on the headboards or his hair. his hands roamed your body as he pleased, tracing his fingers against your stomach up to your sensitive nipples where he pinched and squeezed between his fingertips. don't think he'll stop either! long after you squirt all over his mouth, he'll only pull away just to take one long look at your fucked out face before he dives right back in again. rin gets pussydrunk a bit too easily, but why complain?
“rin..m-more, please..! i need more!” you begged and pleaded with a whine ripped straight from the jugular as you grinding your pussy against your boyfriend’s mouth. rin cracked open his eyes, through the blurred chaos, he admired your fucked out expression as you clung onto the wooden headboard for dear fuckin’ life. it was all too addictive to simple get off, how desperate and downright pussydrunk this man was, it’d be too cruel to pull away now! your thought process only strengthened when rin began to tug away at your sensative and soaked nipples from when he was mouthing at them earlier. he simply couldn’t get enough.
“stay with me..please, fuck! jus’ a little more, you can do that for me? please..?”
₊˚ෆ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐈
so much of a sloppy eater, it’s downright disgusting. shidou’s hands are unpredictable, switching from caressing and squishing the soft flesh of your ass to swatting away at it with quick strikes. don’t get me started on his oral anticts. this man is fucking eating away at your poor pussy, flicking his tongue against your sore clit while suckin’ n kissing at your abused hole. you couldn’t even move your hips with how much he’d just forced you down onto his mouth again, thus you had to sit there and simply take what he gives you, and god, the noises. besides your own moans and sobs for him to slow down, shidou’s downright animalistic growls and groans fill your ears and go straight into your cunt. don’t think he’s done either after you squirt into his mouth, oh no no! he’ll only push you onto your back with the hopes of you crushing his head with your thighs. he can’t get enough of you.
“haah..ah..r-ryu..” was all you could mutter out of your sore throat. after much whining and sobbing from the overstimulation, you could only make small noises of pleasure while shidou ate away like a man on death row. lapping up the remains of your last orgasm, he pried and pried at your hole until you swore he was tongue fucking you. grabbing fist fulls of his blonde hair only fueled the maniac to fuckin’ nip at your clit, an action that forced another intense orgasm out of your abused cunny and soaked his face even more then before. you could feel a smirk form of his lips before he landed a barrage of sharp slaps onto the flesh of your ass, dragging you out of your euphoric afterglow in time to feel his tongue pushing itself back in.
“c’mon sugar, don’t lose me now! we’re just getting started..! now, keep those pretty legs open..”
₊˚ෆ 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐔
mister aiku here pays attention to both puss and ass with glee. when he told you to sit on his face, he meant it. there's nowhere that his mouth didn't touch, meaning you couldn't run from this man either. similar to shidou, he eats like a starved animal in front of a piece of meat. fingers pumping you full while he pays special attention to your poor clit with the occasional nips that would have you mewling and whining like a bitch in heat. but sadly, he's a greedy bastard when it comes to sex, pulling away right before you could have you sweet orgasm. heterochrome eyes staring daggers at your fucked out face while you pleaded for him to let you cum. you were almost in tears when oliver finally stuffed your twitching cunt with his fingers once again and went to town on your clit again. did i mention he pays attention to ass? that poor thing was covered in handprints and crecent shaped dents from how hard he was grabbing it. maybe, even a little bite mark for good measure.
“oliverrrr!” you whined out. "let me cum already! pleasee!" through tears, you could still see that bastard's shit eating grin. he was fucking enjoying this, getting off at your desperation while you bucked your hips at nothing. down there, oliver was enjoying the show he put together for himself and himself alone. his thumb ghosting over your neglected clit, his eyes flicking up to your own, pleading ones. you looked like a kicked puppy who didn’t get it’s owner’s attention, just like how oliver liked you. a shit eating grin stretched across his lips as he promptly gave your ass a hard slap before finger fucking your cunny at a furious pace. the noises it made sounded straight out of a porno as the pro player flicked his tongue around your clitty. it was all too much to handle at once, or so you claimed. you knew damn well oliver could see right through your teary eyes, and sniff out your disgusting, whorish fantasy.
“keep cryin’ like that and i’ll stop again, you hear me? i know you can pretty thing..i fuckin’ know you can.”
₊˚ෆ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔
what a pervert, a proud one at that too! he couldn’t keep his grabby hands to himself all day, something the grew more and more dangerously obvious as the day went on. sneaky hands up your skirt or down your pants, gentle squeezes on your inner thighs inching too close to your wet cunt. the final straw was when you caught him trying to look up your skirt/down your loose pants. dragging him all the way home where he couldn’t even wait to get to the bed and pushed you against the wall, kneeling in front of you while patting his cheek eagerly. clinging onto whatever door frame or counter was nearby as bachira pressed open mouthed, tongue heavy kisses against your spread pussy. he was a messy eater as well, going as far as to even spit on your cunny before diving back in with the intention of drowning in your juices. bachira was full on obsessed. nothing could tear him away from your cunny, no matter how hard you yanked his hair or tried to push his head away. he’ll always come back for more!
“o-oh god..bachira, baby..!” you sighed, clasping a hand over your mouth in a feeble attempt to not alarm the neighbors. bachira quickly noticed and yanked your hand away, staring up at you with the same crazed look he had all day. he didn’t tear his eyes off of you, forcing to maintain eye contact with him as he licked and macked with your ruined cunt. your knees felt weaker and weaker, probably because of the last orgasms your monster of a boyfriend gave you, yet he just refuses to quit! not the stinging pain of you gripping his hair or even your efforts to straight up push him away so he doesn’t suffocate to death in your pussy. bachira, in retaliation, forced your wrists against the wall and gives your cunt a mean spat. you flinched in shock, watching as he simply goes back to eating you out like a madman. fuck, thank god you made it home in time.
“don’t shy away from me! i’m only getting started, my love..don’t you want me to please you? hm?”
© porcalinecunt 🪽ᯓᡣ𐭩ྀི do not steal, translate, or use my work and claim as your own.
#𓆩♱𓆪 — porcelaincunt !#gn!reader#afab!reader#x afab reader#bllk headcanons#bllk smut#bllk x reader#blue lock imagines#blue lock smut#bllk itoshi rin#rin itoshi#rin itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x y/n#bllk itoshi sae#sae itoshi x reader#shidou ryuusei x reader#shidou x reader#bllk shidou#oliver aiku x you#oliver aiku smut#oliver aiku x reader#oliver aiku#bachira meguru#bllk bachira#bachira x reader#bachira smut#shidou smut#shidou ryusei smut
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i am. losing my mind
#imps bs#so i found that animation and listened to elevatoe man and made a charactet based form the song and kinda another character i like BUT#{found the animation about last week or a couple days ago idk my time perception is off}#poked around the channel found a pilot{?} for a show with the characters#watch it and go 'gee where can i find more stuff? this seems pretty cool and the style rocks!'#then i check twitter since im used to people having a twitter. nothing. go onto two sites they have linked in a video desc since i checked#-the channel for one at first#go on those and find out it was a pilot{?} and find merch stuff theyve made and i kinda want it now#did a bit more on twt and found out they had a tumblr account and posted art on there of the characters#found out they started from animal crossing so thats cool!#i was already making a big ref folder since i want to draw the guy and gal and now i have cool original art#blegh#im not even done with my ref folder bc in going frame by frame to get poses and colors since its a specific palette#_| ̄|○ dies#btw this usually happens when i get really into something#find every thing i can before i chill out and draw stuff {or draw stuff during it} and kinda die during the collection process#but i Will Not Stop because. um. mental illness i literally can't think of a betyer explanation#sorry for spouting shit i just havent explained my process before and my god do i just need to get it out of my system#anyway byeeee!!!!!! goodnight!!!!!!!! its 1 am and i always do this late at night!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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After a long time, I offer you the sequel to this fic here 🤲
Warnings: *BANGING POTS AND PANS* KUUYA IS A SUBMISSIVE PATHETIC LOSER YANDERE IF YOU DON'T LIKE MALE SUBS YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE THIS!!!! Also: NSFW and yandere themes from Kuuya and the reader; reader is gender neutral and AFAB; 9k words 💀
Kuuya is a @devotion-disorder OC and they gave me permission to write more abt their sad and wet cat <3 I hope you like it!!! The art below is theirs as well!
♡ cannibalism as a metaphor for love ♡
The clock ticked a little bit past 6PM. You frowned as you watched the last rays of sun fade away in the sky, thinking about your house – how you could be wearing your comfortable pajamas, making some greasy popcorn while you watched a bad horror movie.
Instead, all that you had was that non-ergonomic chair, a coffee that had already gone cold and bitter and the glaring blue light of your computer burning your retinas.
You were working overtime.
It’s not a new concept for you per se, not in a black corporation such as the one you worked for. It’s just that on that specific day, it felt like everyone had left the building but you. Every cubicle was empty and the room was incredibly dim – it was anxiety inducing. You turned on as many lights as you could and put some background music to feel less isolated, but the setting simply didn’t help. You were locked in that little dystopian bubble all on your own and no amount of piled up work could make you concentrate properly when it felt like you were in purgatory.
Outside, a loud thunder made the window panes vibrate and you sighed.
“Fuck this” you murmured, getting up. You’d at least make some more coffee. Would you feel even more anxious? Yes. But you needed something to distract yourself with and brewing a new, actually sweetened pot of coffee would have to do.
You briskly walked towards the break room, trying to avoid thinking about the oppressing darkness that surrounded you, staring at your feet. However, you soon slowed down – the door to the office kitchen was closed, and you could see the light was on from the crack under the door.
Common sense would allow you to come to the conclusion that probably someone else was in the building with you, after all.
But in that moment, all that blared in your mind were the sirens of dread. Your mind went from thinking that a serial killer was hiding in the pantry to imagining a deadly monster coming to whisk you away before you ever thought about some other colleague being in the building with you.
You crossed your fingers hoping it was just the (possibly hot) monster from another dimension coming to kidnap you and slowly opened the door, ready to run if needed.
Instead, you were met with the curved back and the mop of messy lilac hair of someone you knew oh too well.
“Kuuya?” you called, quietly.
“AH!” he flinched, crinkling the plastic cup he had in his hand and spinning around to look at you. The water he was pouring in his cup splashed on his button up shirt and he looked like a deer caught in headlights.
You raised your hands up, like you would do to a feral animal to show you mean no harm.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to spook you. I didn’t know there was someone else here. I thought I was alone.” you said, entering the room and feeling a little bit relieved to see another sign of life in that somber building.
Even if it was from your cute and creepy little stalker.
Kuuya hurriedly grabbed a napkin and began dabbing at his shirt, nodding silently and avoiding your eyes.
You sighed loudly as you began rummaging the kitchen’s cabinets for all the supplies you needed.
As much as you allowed yourself to indulge in your sick fantasies when it came to him, most of the time Kuuya just frustrated you. You wondered if he would ever try to talk to you. Hell, would he ever even look at you in your eyes for more than a second? It was maddening.
You knew he was far from innocent, no matter how reserved he acted around you. Didn't he literally follow you to your home just to jerk off in the bushes by your window? Where is all that courage when you're right next to him?
You wouldn't mind actually taking the initiative, but most of the time you honestly felt like you were crazy. Maybe you were so horny for that sad wet cat that you were hallucinating.
Maybe he never went to your house and it was just the wishful thinking of your deeply, deeply perverted mind.
Maybe he actually wanted to run away from you whenever you were around, but you were just too insane so you kept imagining him fisting his cock just because you breathed near him.
Although they do say that insane people never think they're insane.
God! If only he gave you A DIRECT SIGN! A green light! Something that would let you know you can take charge!
No matter how adorable his bashfulness was, he still made you feel like you were kicking a baby animal whenever you addressed him directly. And honestly, that didn't really help his case.
“Are you… okay?” his quiet voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you noticed how you were crouching and staring at a dead empty cabinet for way longer than necessary. You closed the door and got up quickly, clearing your throat.
“We’re out of coffee.” you said, pulling your phone out of your pocket. “I'm gonna order something to eat. Is there anything you want?”
Kuuya was one step away from being malnourished, you noticed. You wouldn't mind putting some food inside that scrawny body.
“Um… No, it’s not necessary… I don’t really have… um… money…”
You waved your hand dismissively as you scrolled through a delivery app.
“That doesn’t matter. I’m paying.”
Kuuya shook his head frantically while waving his hands.
“N-no, I can’t accept that!”
You side-eyed him and he visibly flinched under your glare.
“Even if you don’t tell me what you want to eat, I’m gonna order something for us. We are quite literally stranded here, I’m not going to let you go hungry.” you shrugged.
He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. God, he was so cute. Why did he act like you would straight up kill him if he said something wrong, though? Were you that intimidating? Well, not intimidating enough to keep him from masturbating right by your bedroom and stealing your stuff, apparently.
“Also” you continued “It’s going to rain soon, apparently. I don't want to make some delivery guy go out in the rain to deliver us food once we’re actually hungry, so I'll just do it now.”
Kuuya opened and closed his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. He looked like a little fish, you thought, as you waited for him to say something. When he didn’t after a whole minute, you just shrugged.
“Is chicken sandwich and fries okay with you?”
He nodded, hesitant yet still licking his lips unconsciously at the thought of some good actual food. You figured he was probably very hungry. In fact, you could picture it very clearly: Kuuya getting home and just eating the least nutritious instant noodles in the world, day after day. No wonder he looked so tired all the time. He was probably running low on fuel for way too long.
“Okay. So I’m gonna order those, and also some coffee and cookies. If I'm gonna stay here and be tortured by all the work I gotta do, I wanna at least have something tasty to console me.” you mumbled, more to yourself than anyone else.
And as you placed the order, you ended up missing the little lovestruck smile that quickly appeared on Kuuya’s face.
You had gone back to your cubicle while you waited for your order. Knowing you weren't completely alone calmed your nerves and you managed to work properly for the time it took for your food to arrive.
Once you had all the bags in your hands, you walked back to the kitchen and the door was open just like you had left it. Kuuya was still there, sitting at the table, nursing a tepid cup of water.
“You didn't go back to your work station ?” you said, putting the multiple bags of food on the table, earning a startled yelp from him again. You raised an eyebrow and huffed out a laugh. “You're more skittish than I am.”
He pursed his lips into a thin line, avoiding your eyes.
“S-sorry…”
You shook your head.
“There's no reason to apologize. Here, the food arrived. Let's eat?”
He nodded, hurriedly getting up to help you set up plates and cups down, wobbling a little bit like he had to consciously think about how to walk properly.
You looked at him through the corner of your eye while he washed a few dishes.
Kuuya always seemed like he was in distress. His shoulders looked tense like a violin string and there was always a little crease on his forehead. His eyebrows were almost always scrunched and raised up, giving him that kicked puppy look to his face that you found so endearing. It made you want to hold him in your arms and massage those little shoulders until they were soft under your fingers, and kiss those worry lines until he relaxed, even if just for a little while.
You clenched and unclenched your fingers, quickly busying yourself with putting the now clean plates on the table, otherwise you'd jump at him as soon as he looked at you with those pink doe eyes that you so deeply wished you could stare at for hours on end.
If only he wasn't so easily frightened.
Soon enough, everything was set on the table, ready for you to eat.
“Alright” you sat down and motioned vaguely towards the food “Dig in! Don’t be shy.”
Kuuya slowly sat down, eyeing the sandwiches like he had never seen food before in his life. Still, he kept his hands to himself and fidgeted on his chair.
“Is something wrong?”
“I- I feel like I should be paying for this. I promise I'll repay you once I get my next paycheck.” he mumbled, looking extremely embarrassed.
You tutted, shaking your head.
“Nonsense. You don't have to pay for anything. Now eat. It'll make me glad if you eat properly. That's how you can pay me back.”
He pouted for a moment, considering your words, then hesitantly grabbed the sandwich, giving it a nibble. His face lit up at the taste of the sandwich and his inhibitions then seemed to go down a little. He took a bigger bite, chewing happily. His chin was slightly smeared with sauce and you smiled.
So fucking cute.
As you ate, you noticed how he kept on shaking and nodding his head in order to move the long lilac bang that covered his right eye away from his mouth. After a few more moments just watching him struggle, you got up from your seat.
“Here, let me help you.” You reached inside your pockets and showed him a hair clip you always kept at hand. You reached out for his bangs, hovering your hand over his hair as if to ask for permission to put the clip on him.
He unceremoniously slapped his hands over his bangs and right eye, hard.
“N-no!” He yelled, sounding terrified.
You jumped, surprised at his uncharacteristic reaction, and raised your arms again, the second time that day.
“Okay, okay. Sorry, I won't touch it. You can put it on your hair if you'd like it, then. No pressure” you said, still offering the hair clip.
He slowly moved his hands away from his eye, shaking as he grabbed the clip from your palm.
“O-okay…thank you and… sorry…” he mumbled, gripping the clip tightly inside his fist.
“It's no problem. Just… please pin it in a way that will keep your hair from touching your food” you grimaced “That's not really hygienic.”
He clumsily pinned his hair to his scalp, the bangs still completely covering his right eye, but somehow precariously pinned right over his ear. You gave him a nod of approval.
“I guess that's good enough.”
You two continued eating, a painfully awkward silence looming in the atmosphere, as the heavy rain that had threatened to fall all night finally pattered against the windows.
You figured you wouldn't try to break that silence, despite how uncomfortable it was. It was time for him to try and communicate with you too, and if he didnt, well. You wouldn't spread yourself thin just to receive a few nods and indiscernible mumbles, no matter how adorable he was whenever he was flustered.
Kuuya politely thanked you for the food as he finished eating, right at the same time as you. He pushed his chair, the grating sound against the floor making the both of you flinch. He straightened himself up, as much as his hunched back would allow him to, and cleared his throat.
“I, uh. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll- I'll clean everything up, so you can leave it there. I'll be right- I'll be right back.” He stuttered, eyes flitting everywhere around the corners of the kitchen, except to you. He was tightly grabbing his elbow with his other hand, until he visibly relaxed when you nodded at his words, like he needed your permission, and scrambled out of the room.
You waited a minute or two after he left, before getting up and quickly walking towards the men's bathroom as well.
Yeah, right. Sure. Bathroom.
You might not have known Kuuya that well yet, but you knew one little thing: he was a terrible liar.
You opened the door to the bathroom as quietly as you could, hoping it wouldn't creak and possibly rat you out. When you managed to close it behind you without a sound, you exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding.
Stepping slowly and carefully, you walked towards the bathroom stalls and stood still for a second.
Yeah. There it was.
Your mouth quirked up into a pleased smile when you heard the sound of heavy breathing coming from a stall to your left. Gasps and choked out little moans reached your ears and went straight into your core.
Kuuya was jerking off in that bathroom stall.
You licked your lips and kept moving slowly, much like a predator trying not to be seen. You slotted yourself into the stall right beside him and crouched on top of the toilet, effectively hiding your feet from him in case he looked down.
But from the sounds coming out of his stall, he was already way too cumbrained to notice anything around him.
You could hear the sounds of his hand rubbing his cock mercilessly as he groaned, probably a little louder than he should if he was trying to be subtle.
Your breathing became heavy.
You found yourself imagining his hand grabbing his shaft tightly, rubbing his thumb against the angry pink tip of his dick, smearing the beads of precum all over his length. His other hand would be lifting his shirt to pinch and pull at his nipple, eliciting those cute little gasps you kept hearing from where you were standing.
Begrudgingly, you undid your pants’ zipper and shoved your hand into your already leaking cunt.
His moans got louder, the lewd, wet sounds of him fucking his own hand going faster and you thought of how his cock would be twitching, balls heavy with cum tightening as a warning sign that he was about to come undone.
Your fingers circled your clit, eyes closed and mouth agape with a silent moan at how fucking hot he sounded and how filthy you felt for getting off to him without his consent – but it's not like he didn't do the same to you before.
A loud, shaky moan came out of him as he apparently came all over his own hand. You thought of how he would ride his own high, squeezing every last drop of his load out of his cock until the overstimulation would be too much and he'd halt his movements.
You heard him pant heavily, stopping your movements so he wouldn't hear the wet sounds of your pussy. You were so far away from your own high, but listening to his little mewls was more than worth the frustration.
Until he opened his mouth again to moan your name.
“I love you… I love you I love you I love you, fuckfuckfuck I love you so so much.. a-ah fuuuuck…” the sounds of him furiously jerking off reached your ears again and your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to control your breathing.
He kept moaning and whining your name over and over again, probably leaning against the stall's wall as everything began to shake in the same rhythm of his hips.
You bit your knuckle hard, trying to avoid making any sounds while you rubbed yourself, chasing your orgasm to the glorious sound of your pathetic stalker fucking himself silly in your workplace's bathroom.
His whiny, slutty voice sounded like honey, viscous and sweet – something that you would swallow eagerly, leaving your tongue heavy with his syrupy, nauseating taste.
You bit your knuckle harder as you felt the frustration of chasing a release that would not come, because you desperately wanted to taste him; to glide your tongue over his skin and memorize the salty flavor of his sweat and the musky scent of his body. Anything else would not work for you anymore.
You could eat him whole, truly. You needed your hands and your stomach and your pussy to be full of him. Urgently.
You stopped toying with your clit, allowing the anger of not even having a sad, unsatisfying orgasm wash over your body.
Kuuya seemed to finish much quicker this time, your name in his lips loud as he came a second time.
You looked down and bit your lip, pulling your own hair in frustration – you could see a few drops of his cum drip onto the bathroom floor, pitifully wasted.
Closing your eyes, you forced yourself to breathe deeply and closed your eyes.
First, you needed to get out of there without him noticing so he wouldn't have a mental breakdown and run away. And then, only after that, you could think of the next steps of your plan.
You allowed yourself to rest your head against the wall, waiting for him to clean himself up and leave.
It was so weird, this desperate attraction you had for Kuuya and how afraid you were of messing everything up. You had your previous crushes before, sure. But nothing was ever as strong as the desire you had to cradle that stupid man in your arms and keep him with you, safe.
You knew things were different once you found out he was obsessed with you and it still didn't extinguish that little fire inside of your core.
Usually, you'd lose interest in people as soon as they began expressing interest in you as well – you knew it was wrong and you had brought it up during therapy sessions, but it never really bothered you.
Until Kuuya.
When you confirmed your suspicions (that he was insanely obsessed and even went as far as stalking you) you felt a strange excitement bubble in your stomach – like you had achieved something.
It made you shiver in anticipation for those little moments in which your eyes would meet his and he'd blush furiously, or when you'd purposely brush your hand against his only to watch how he twitched and rubbed his thighs together.
You were addicted to him. You wanted him even more after finding out about his feelings, and that was new to you. That was something you weren't willing to let go.
And with that, came the fear that Kuuya might be just like you. What if he was an emotionally constipated mess like yourself? What if he lost all interest as soon as you gave him an opening? Just because he was different for you, didn't mean you'd be special to him, in the off case he had the same bad habits.
That was why you were so cautious, so slow in your movements. You didn't want him to run. You didn't want to lose the feeling of being reciprocated. You'd protect it the same way you'd protect a tiny flame against the whip of a merciless wind.
But after hearing him moan your name like a needy whore, you didn't think you could hold it in anymore.
Kuuya had already left for a good 5 minutes while you were lost in your thoughts.
You quickly cleaned yourself and walked towards the sinks to wash your hands. You looked at yourself in the mirror of the men's bathroom. Sweat stuck to your forehead and your face looked flush. You were out of breath and your heart beat fast and loud inside your ribcage.
You turned on the sink, splashing cold water against your face and, after you dried up, you stared at your reflection again.
Well. So Kuuya had loudly moaned your name as he fucked his own fist. And you had masturbated to the sounds of his gasps and mumbles of your name.
No matter how paranoid you were – you were very much sure you weren't fucking hallucinating any of that.
“Walk me home?” you went to his desk after you finished the last of the details in your reports, fully intent on taking him with you to your home.
‘It’s now or never’, you thought to yourself.
“S-sorry?” he sputtered.
“Walk me home?" you repeated "The rain stopped, but it's kinda late. I don't want to walk alone. It's too dark.”
He seemed to consider your request for way too long. Anxiety began bubbling in the pit of your stomach, and, for a moment, you thought it'd be better to just pretend you never asked anything, until he answered you.
“Okay… I can go with you.” he murmured, getting up and grabbing his shoulder bag.
You let out a breath of relief you didn't know you were holding, and smiled.
“Thank you, Kuuya!”
You didn't miss how he bit his lips and shivered at your words.
The walk home was uneventful, as you expected. Kuuya walked by your side and insisted on staying on the road's side of the sidewalk. You praised him for being a gentleman and he became a blushing and stuttering mess, but besides that, he was quiet.
You arrived at your door and Kuuya hovered right beside you, watching you fumble with your keys.
You weren't very good at hiding your anxiety after all.
Once the door opened, you stepped inside and held it for him.
“Come inside for a moment.” you murmured after clearing your throat.
You watched his throat bob up and down when he swallowed hard. He probably had many questions and, honestly, you couldn't blame him. You had no reason to invite him to your house.
At least not obvious reasons, that is.
He did as you told after a few seconds of hesitation, although he had confusion written all over his face.
“Why… why did you invite me in?” he finally asked while he watched you shrug off your coat and kick off your boots. You motioned for him to take off his shoes as well and leave them beside yours.
“Just something I gotta do.” you answered, observing him clumsily undo the knots on his shoes.
He cocked his head to the side, looking up at you.
“What?”
Once he was finished putting his shoes right beside yours, you beckoned him with your finger, and began walking deeper inside your house and towards your room, hoping he would follow.
He did, dumb shock plastered on his face, but still compliant.
You opened the door and motioned for him to enter. As soon as he was inside, you slammed the door behind you and locked it.
Kuuya's eyes were wide as he quickly turned to look at you. He seemed terrified, the poor thing, but this time you wouldn't back down. You couldn't.
“Shhh, it's okay. No need to be so scared” you shushed him as he opened his mouth, walking slowly towards him. You placed your hand on his chest and pushed him towards your bed.
When he plopped unceremoniously on the mattress, you looked at his pants.
He was already hard.
You smirked.
“Do you know why I brought you here?” you asked in a murmur while you leaned towards his trembling figure, wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks with your thumb and holding your weight over him with your other arm.
“N-no…?”
You cocked your head, actually surprised at his answer.
“Really? Are you really that clueless?” you traced his jaw with your finger, and he squirmed underneath you, rubbing his thighs together to get any friction on the bulge inside his pants.
“I…” he cleared his throat “I don't understand.”
“Well, I, for one, am not clueless you know.” your fingers traced the length of his neck, and you smiled when a few goosebumps pricked his skin.
He gulped.
“I know you jerked off to me earlier today.” you said flatly, with a sickening sweet voice while your finger now teased and rubbed his pebbled nipples through his shirt.
He gasped and you didn't know if it was from surprise or pleasure.
“I also know you followed me some weeks ago and jerked off in that bush outside my window.” you pointed to the window hidden behind your blinds and he followed your gaze, eyes watery and cheeks a bright red.
“And I know you steal my stuff and my trash so you can keep it.” he was still looking at your window when you palmed his bulge through his pants. He arched his back, moaning loudly, and you grinned maniacally at his reaction.
Pretty slut.
“Do you… D-do you think I'm disgusting?” he asked, shamelessly grinding his hips against your palm.
“Yeah, I do. I think you're disgusting and a creep.” he moaned at your words, but his eyes closed tightly, and a few more tears ran down his cheeks. He had a pained expression on his pretty face, like you had hurt his fragile feelings.
Apparently Kuuya knew how to tug on your heartstrings.
You moved your hand away from his pants, fully aware of the damp spot that had formed on the fabric.
“But so am I.” you completed and he opened his eyes wide, looking at you like you had just grown a second head.
“Seeing you so desperate and needy…” you shook your head in defeat “It does things to me, you know.”
“I-it does?” he asked, all doe eyed, blushing and hopeful. You sighed at the sight, trying to burn it forever into your brain.
“Mhm. Yeah. It makes me wanna eat you whole.”
Kuuya shuddered as you placed your hand back on his chest, gliding it towards his throat. You held his neck firmly for a second before you gently cupped his warm and reddened cheek. He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes like a cat.
“Will you let me, Kuuya?” you whispered.
“W-what?” He opened his still teary eyes, gazing at you expectantly.
“Will you let me eat you?”
A beat of silence went by and you almost felt the ugly head of shame peek into your mind, but then he nodded, a single tear falling onto your thumb.
“Y-yes.”
Like a thin thread snapping, you kneeled onto the ground and pulled his waist towards you, letting his legs hang limply on your sides. Your fingers trembled as you undid his belt buckle and you looked at him.
Kuuya was propping himself onto one of his elbows, his other hand covering his mouth as he watched you hastily take off his pants and boxers. His hard cock sprung free, leaking pathetically, and your mouth watered at the sight.
You were starving.
It was time to eat.
Kuuya felt like he was dreaming. Or maybe he died and his very own heaven (if he would even be allowed there) was having you suck his painfully hard cock.
He forced his eyes to stay open so he could watch you. The way your tongue swirled on his head and pressed mercilessly on his slit – you had barely put his cock inside your mouth and he already felt like he was melting.
He knew he was sounding pathetic. He whined and squirmed against your hands while you kept his thighs open. It was so good, it was feeling so good he was losing control of his body.
When you started bobbing your head, hollowing your cheeks to suck him harshly, he thought he would die. It had to be wrong, to feel this good. It was criminal.
Kuuya moaned like a whore and, deep inside, in the still conscious part of his mind, he wondered if you liked it. He hoped you did, he hoped his pathetic high pitched groans made you soak your panties because he couldn't control them.
Not when you were sucking him so good.
He bucked his hips against your mouth, the sound of your gag snapping him out of his daze for a moment so he could mumble a “sorry”, but then you moaned.
You moaned and the vibrations of your throat went through his cock and he lost it, completely. He held your head firmly, thrusting frantically into your mouth as he repeated “'m sorry! 'm sorry! 'm sorry!” until the words lost all meaning to him. With a stutter, his hips bucked again and he spilled inside your mouth, his slurred words elongating into a pornographic moan.
You opened your mouth wide, relaxing your throat as soon as his cum began spurting, eagerly swallowing the salty taste of him while he rode his orgasm until he couldn't take the stimulation of your soft mouth anymore.
As you dabbed the drops of cum that had spilled from your mouth, he suddenly wondered, in the back of his mind, if you already had any practice doing this kind of stuff. He panted, face warm and red, dick twitching while he looked at you wiping your mouth and licking your fingers. And he felt jealous at the thought.
He wanted to be the only one. He couldn't handle the thought of you touching anyone else like that. He hated it. Hated it. He had to be the only one you'd touch like that. God, he wished he could go back in time to prevent you from touching anyone else, just so you'd always be his alone.
A few angry tears pricked in the corner of his eyes and he tackled you to the ground, surprising you with a hug.
“K-kuuya?!” you squeaked, the air leaving your lungs went he laid all his weight on you.
Kuuya began rubbing his cheek against yours, sharing the sweat that stuck to his forehead with your face, making you grimace.
“W-what's wrong?” You asked in a murmur, after reciprocating his hug.
He whined wordlessly and began untangling himself from you, holding himself up by his trembling arms.
And, for a long moment, he just stared at you.
You thought he looked beautiful.
He wasn't exactly the most handsome man in the world, but to you, he looked angelic.
His lilac hair was disheveled and his face was flushed. His lips were a pretty red, as if he had bitten them too hard, and his eyes were half-lidded and clouded with lust and sheer adoration. It sent tingles down your spine. You wondered if anyone has ever looked at you like that, but you already knew that no one has ever held you in such high regard. It made your heart race and your core burn.
You could sear the image of him under your eyelids and you would never tire of it.
He was gorgeous.
You tucked a strand of damp hair behind his ear and then cupped his cheek. Your thumb rubbed his skin gently and his eyes fluttered shut. He began leaning against your touch again, before he stopped himself and opened his eyes. You looked at him, puzzled, when he averted his gaze.
“U-um…” he began, after clearing his throat. You kept quiet, allowing for him to continue.
“C-can I… um. Can I eat you too?” He mumbled, closing his eyes tightly. You felt your face tingle at his words and his adorable embarrassment.
“Yes” you murmured and he opened his eyes wide “Yes, please.”
Kuuya quickly sat up on his knees, and looked around, apparently finally realizing you two were laying on the ground.
“Do you… want to move to the bed?” he asked bashfully, and you chuckled.
“Yes, it'd be more comfortable.”
He got up, holding out his hand to help you up as well. He didn't really have enough strength to pull you up, so you just held his hand tightly, not wanting to reject his help, as you gracelessly lifted yourself from the ground.
As soon as you were standing, you began pushing the waistband of your pants down, but Kuuya's hands quickly stopped you, holding you tightly. You widened your eyes as you looked at him.
“I… want to do that.” he said, bashfully.
Wow. Who would have thought he'd be so brazen for once.
You smiled, nodding, and laid on your bed, making yourself comfortable.
You observed how Kuuya was already rock hard again and he had yet to touch you properly. He was insatiable for you and it made your pussy clench around nothing.
He was going to be the death of you.
Kuuya, in a sudden development, decided that it didn't matter what happened in the past. What happened, happened. All he needed to do was make you forget about it all.
He needed to be good. He needed to fuck you so good that you'd forget anyone you might have hooked up with in the past. He needed to make you addicted to his tongue, his fingers and his cock so you'd always go back to him for more.
Granted, he didn't know how he was going to do that since he was a literal virgin, but he hoped his enthusiasm would convince you to give him more chances, until he had mapped every little crevice of your body and all the little buttons that made you squirm.
Kuuya licked his lips, slowly pulling the hem of your pants down while he kneeled on your bed. The sight of your soaked panties made him gasp loud, and he had to grip the base of his cock tightly, hissing as he threw his head back. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down while he swallowed hard, concentrating on not allowing himself to cum.
He couldn't allow himself to cum untouched just by looking at your wet cunt. At least not in front of you. Not right there. He would, however, be filing this image inside the safest corners of his brain to become prime masturbation material later on, that's for sure.
He leaned in, warm and shaky breath hitting the damp spot on your panties. His tongue lolled out unconsciously and he licked a long stripe over the fabric of your underwear.
He was so sure he had died. That's the only possible answer for all the things happening right at that moment. Not only did you suck him, now he was tasting your pussy?
Oh god. He was tasting your pussy.
It was like something broke inside of him, allowing all of his obsession to spill over as soon as he pressed his tongue against you. He moaned loudly, ripping your underwear away only to grip it tightly in his hand as he, at last, dived into you.
He was going to keep it to himself as a prize.
Kuuya slurped and sucked and licked your wetness like a starved man. He wasn't focusing on the task at hand; instead, he was just getting drunk on your juices and your musk, moaning like someone who had just eaten the most delicious sweet. Oh he was so cute, all pussydrunk like that.
You hummed, gently holding a fistful of his hair as you grinded lightly against his eager tongue. You… probably weren't going to cum if he didn't suck you with a little bit more intent, but you figured you'd just let him enjoy himself for a bit more.
Just looking at his eyes rolling and hearing the sinful whimpers and grunts he was letting out was already doing something to you.
Soon enough, however, Kuuya seemed to discover that one little bundle of nerves. He gave it a few kitten licks before curling his lips against it to suck, and it was finally your turn to roll your eyes.
Your hand gripped his hair tighter and your back arched while he rolled his tongue against your clit; eyes wide when he realized he must have done something right.
One of his hands tentatively rubbed against your entrance and you cooed.
“Yes Kuuya, that's a good boy… Put one of your fingers inside me, baby”
He gasped against your pussy, the praise clearly making him lose his focus. A mean part of your brain thought about stuffing him with a butt plug just so you could make him wag a little tail whenever you praised him, but that would have to be an adventure for a later time.
He began pumping two fingers inside you, mouth going slack in awe once he heard the shlick of your wet cunt, and drool pooling at the side of his mouth.
He was so clueless and so, so cute. You couldn't help but think about actually making a mess of him.
“Kuuya” you said, not as a moan, but as a call. He stopped his motions for a second and looked at you – doe eyed, mouth and chin still glistening with your cum.
You licked your lips at the sight.
“I'll sit up a bit. I want you to lay down on the bed.” You said, as you shifted your position and rested your back against the headrest, making him crawl towards you to keep his head between your legs.
You watched as he slowly rested his body against the bed, a little yelp coming out of his lips when his hardened length pressed against the mattress.
“Good boy.” You praised him as you ran your knuckles on the sticky skin of his cheek and he whined.
“Now I want you to hump the bed while you eat me out.” you said, flatly.
Kuuya's eyes widened like saucers.
“W-what?”
“You're hard, aren't you?” You ran your hand through his head, caressing his hair gently “I want you to fuck the bed while you eat me out. I want to watch you move your hips like a pretty slut. Can you do that for me?”
He blinked, staying silent as you kept threading your fingers through his hair. The furious blush that spread through his face and neck was anything but unnoticeable.
“I can give you a pillow, if you'd rather hump it instead of the bed” you added, figuring he was probably already addicted to humping his own pillow like a dog in heat, so it wouldn't hurt to make him comfortable while he obeyed you.
“Y-yes… I would like a pillow then.” He whispered.
You mouthed an okay and gave him your favorite pillow – the one you usually hugged while sleeping. You wondered if he knew that. And by the way his eyes lit up when he saw the pillow, you figured he probably did.
“Take off your shirt? Please?” you asked him, after he positioned the pillow where he wanted it to be.
Kuuya pouted at your request, and as you were about to tell him he didn't need to do it if it made him uncomfortable, his trembling hands moved to unbutton his shirt slowly. You reached out to him, pausing his hands. He looked at you, sad puppy eyes glistening with tears.
“Do you want to take off your shirt? You don't have to if you don't want to.” you reassured him.
He sniffled, looking away.
“I-I don't mind.” he mumbled and you knew he was probably hiding his discomfort to please you and would never tell you the truth.
Kuuya seemed thirsty for your approval in every little thing, to the detriment of himself. It made a little monster inside of you roar with the desperate need to keep him tucked away, safe with you, just like a dragon who hoards gold in a faraway cave.
Your thumb caressed his still trembling hands.
“Then just leave these buttons undone. You don't have to take it off.”
“But-”
“Kuuya.” You said his name firmly, making him flinch despite the gentle touch of your hand against his. You noticed how his cock twitched at that as well. “It's okay. Now please be a good boy.”
You went back to your position against the headrest and opened your legs, pussy still dripping and throbbing with the lack of attention. He gulped, licking his lips and nodded furiously.
It was hard, coordinating his movements. All Kuuya had known his whole life was to jerk off or hump his pillow, but now he had to suck you, lick you, pump his fingers inside you AND hump your precious pillow. Not that he was complaining. He loved it. It was Heaven.
But he felt a bit self conscious about his abilities, or lack thereof.
Just like he was self conscious when you asked him to strip. He hated his body – he was so scrawny and weak-looking, he felt disgusting. What if you hated him? What if you wanted something else in a partner? He couldn't risk having you uninterested in him! Not when he got what he so desperately wanted!
Showing you his body would have to wait until he was either convinced you truly wanted him, or until he got you locked up in his apartment. The last option was the most tempting to him – having you shackled to his barred window would be a guarantee that you wouldn't run away after all.
But for now, all he could do was his best – all while suffocating you with his affections until you drowned in them.
The squelching sounds of your pussy as he pumped his fingers inside you were driving him insane.
Kuuya humped your pillow like a dumb dog in heat – his hips almost bounced against the bed with how hard and deep he was thrusting. He couldn't wait until he was balls deep inside your cunt, the leaky tip of his cock kissing your cervix until he filled you whole.
He felt dizzy. He half registered how loud his moans were; all he could think was about your cum all over his face and how he fucked your pillow, mean and fast.
“C-curl your fingers up, baby” you whined, pulling his hair, and this finally got his attention.
He acquiesced, because he was good. He was so good for you and he was going to learn everything you liked because no one else would ever touch your body ever again.
Only him.
And he had to learn it all to keep you satisfied and happy, so you'd praise him and fuck the brains out of him as a reward. It was the perfect exchange! You'd be his and he'd be yours and nothing could ever keep his grubby hands away from you now.
He would do whatever you asked.
He felt a spongy texture against the pad of his fingers, and when you mewled, legs spasming around him, he knew he had found gold, somehow.
He halted the movement of his hips to focus on swirling his tongue against your clit and fingering your cunt at an insane speed. He would for sure be extremely sore the next day, but he only cared about your loud moans and how your thighs were squishing his head so tight and so good.
When you finally came, he groaned at the feeling of your cunt squeezing his fingers inside you, pulling them deeper inside with a vice grip, and the taste of your cum wetting his whole face. He reached his own peak at the thought of how HE was the one who made you curl your toes and soak your bed sheets like that.
And another proof that he was made for you was added into his mind.
But it was too fucking much. For the first time in his life, Kuuya felt drunk. He needed more or he would die. He needed more more more more.
Maybe more than you could even give.
He didn't let you breathe at all.
As soon as your eyes fluttered open again, coming down from your high, he began crawling on top of you, panting like a feral dog. You watched as a sticky thread of his cum momentarily connected his dick to your now wet pillow and despite all that, he was still fucking hard. How was that even possible was beyond you, but you didn't have time to linger on those thoughts when he hovered over you.
“I wanna cum in you” he moaned, still moving his hips, humping your mound. His eyes were glazed over, like he wasn't all there with you, and his pupils were blown wide.
“I wanna cum in you” he repeated, panting, a little bit of drool spilling from the corner of his mouth “I need to cum in-inside you. I need to fill you up, please. Let me breed you? Please? I wanna be inside you and hnng- pump you full of my cum, please? Let me cum inside, please? Please please please let me breed you, please” he slurred nonstop, almost incoherently, while he frantically moved his hips like he couldn't control them.
He was so drunk with you that he was desperate and talking like he had never done before.
It was pathetic.
And so fucking hot.
“Shhh baby, it's okay” you cooed, petting his head to calm him down while your other hand squeezed his hip to try and still his movements “You can fuck me, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere.”
He whined, nodding his head and sniffling as a few tears ran down his cheeks, seemingly coming back to his senses a little bit.
“It's okay, love” you pulled his head towards you, cradling him on your chest. You kept on petting him, while your other hand softly scratched his back in order to calm him down.
Once his breathing was a little less erratic, you let him raise his chest again.
“You okay?” you murmured.
He nodded, rubbing his eyes. Then he looked down at his cock and back at you. You chuckled. He really was insatiable.
You threw your arms around his neck, eyes half-lidded.
“Then go on and fill me up” you murmured against his ear, enjoying the shiver that went down his spine.
You didn't need to ask twice.
Kuuya was so nervous.
He was about to be inside his love! He was about to fill them up with his cum, but the thought itself was already throwing him to the edge. He would have to do his best to not cum once he felt your gummy walls squeeze his cock.
Easier said than done.
Kuuya threw his head back again, a guttural moan erupting from his chest as soon as he got the head past your entrance. He heaved loudly, focusing so hard on not spilling himself so soon, whimpering whenever your walls clenched around him.
“Y-you okay?” you asked breathlessly and all he could do was nod with a pained expression on his face.
“It's okay, take it slow” you added, gently rubbing his thighs.
You were an angel, truly. Only you would have so much patience with someone as pathetic as him. He had to fuck you good! He had to show you that you could depend on him! This way you would keep pampering him like he so desperately needed.
Through pure determination, Kuuya pushed himself further, moaning pornographically with every inch that went inside you. Once you had taken him down his hilt, he exhaled, shakily.
“T-there you go…” you groaned “Filling me up so much, my good boy.”
Kuuya whimpered. He was torn between asking you not to say those things so he wouldn't cum, and lapping up your praise like a parched man.
He began moving, slowly thrusting in and out of your wet cunt, and he felt like he was melting all over again. He was going to be just a puddle, with how good it felt. You clenched tightly around his length like you were trying to milk him dry and he realized that he was probably going to be addicted to this from then on – there was no going back.
His nails dug into the plush of your hips as he began pounding into you, fast and erratic, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass and the wet noise of his cock being drenched in your juices were so dirty and he loved it. He couldn't help the “Ah! Ah! Ah!” he kept letting out to the rhythm of his thrusts.
You were just so good, so made for him, so his.
With a sudden movement, Kuuya hooked his arms under your legs and pushed you. He always saw that position in those porn videos, and he always wanted to do it to you. The mating press. He wanted to push himself inside you as far as he could and then fill you up with his jizz. Ah, just thinking about it made his cock twitch inside of you.
He wondered if you could feel his fast and loud heartbeat in your pussy, since his cock was so damn hard. It would be almost painful if it wasn't for your glorious wetness sucking him in so good and taking care of him.
You grabbed one of Kuuya's hand and brought it to your clit, urging him to draw little circles on it to bring you over that edge. He rubbed it quick and merciless, looking down at how your pussy was swallowing his cock, so wet that a ring of white had formed around its base as he fucked you, and how your clit also twitched under his fingers.
Not long after, you felt your abdomen tighten and your walls clench around him as you reached your orgasm, arching your back while you desperately pushed his hand away from your clit to avoid overstimulation.
Watching you cum so hard because of his very own ministrations made Kuuya cross over that edge right away as well. With a high pitched moan, he spurted his load inside you – so much cum that it spilled down to your bed and Kuuya mindlessly tried to push it back into you while he rode his high.
His chest was heaving and his eyes were glazed over, the look of pure adoration still visible in his pink orbs as he looked at you, sweaty and thoroughly fucked (by him! Not by a toy! Much less another man! Not ever again.)
He wanted more. He needed more. He felt like he could cum over and over again inside you and fuck you silly for hours on end.
But as he opened his dry mouth to say these words, a sudden tiredness took over his body and his eyelids got impossibly heavy.
Kuuya fell down into your arms, unconsciously snuggling your figure, his softening dick still inside you as he cuddled your body and placed kisses on your sticky skin. It wasn't long until his breathing became steady and sleep took over his body.
You decided you'd let 5 or 10 minutes pass before you'd wake him up in order to drink some water, eat some protein bars and join you in the shower so you two could clean up.
But damn it, was he adorable while sleeping. He had a little pout on his bottom lip, but besides that, his face finally looked relaxed. The first time you've seen him like that in all those months you two have been coworkers.
Pride swelled in your chest as you thought about how you're the first one to ever see him like that.
The scared wet cat finally in your arms, ready for you to coddle, kiss, fuck, take care of and protect from any harm.
You unconsciously tightened your hold on him, feeling a wave of possessiveness so vile that it made you dizzy for a second.
It was a bit too much, what you seemed to feel for him. But you weren't willing to analyze that at that moment. He was right there in your arms, clutching you like you were his lifeline – and that was more than enough for you.
At least your anxiety and paranoia had been completely quelled. If he was so desperate to fuck you after you confessed you were a bit creepy for him as well, then maybe it was okay for you to be more upfront with your desires, just like he was.
Even though he truly would never guess he was being so obvious.
It was so cute, how he thought you really didn't know about anything he ever did. Not the stalking, nor the stealing. And not even the little thoughtful things he could straight up tell you because you'd genuinely appreciate them.
However, regardless of him telling you or not, you just knew everything. Your poor little baby wasn't very subtle, after all.
Therefore, you very much knew Kuuya had stayed behind with you at work just because he knew you'd be there. He thought he was elusive, but you could pick up his intentions from miles and miles away. As soon as you first saw him idling alone in that kitchen, it all clicked perfectly in your head.
Kuuya was so silly and so dumb, sometimes. But it was okay because that made him so, so cute that you could eat him up.
Over and over and over again.
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
#crawling along#if you look at the Pampe & The Wall photos you can see the adorable little goatee i gave poldine when i sheared her <3#it suits her she looks very elegant
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