#because this is just a friendly spar! theyre not here to kill you!

[youtube-fucker]

Yeah I think I'll just make a separate blog for this stuff now... but in the meantime!

Look! It's a kid! They're having fun! They have their tongue out! They're winking! They're being silly!

Surely nothing bad would happen to them, right?

...

You wouldn't hurt them, would you?

...

Would you?

Would you hurt them?

Are you sure you wouldn't?

W O U L D Y O U ?

W H Y ' D . . . Y O U . . . D O . . . I T . . . ?

Anyways! Credit to @howlonomy once again! I hope you enjoyed... whatever the fuck this is!

[cconfusedkat]

I can never get enough of using these templates HDEJDHSKD [creds here]

They all have widely different dynamics :>c you can probably tell who im most fond of tbh 😭

Leshylamb are probably the most friendly towards eachother, they're in a qpr fun fact!! They bond the most easily but it's quite rare for them to catch up? Leshy is busy on missionary parties and then catching rest for a day, while Allure has to keep up with cult maintenance and usually their own personal crusades- but that explains these two deciding to go on a personal crusade with eachother. 😭 its really funny cuz leshy could be tossing allure up in the air and hes shouting at them like "SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DUDE!!!!!!" And allure casually swings a heretic head off and looks back at leshy like "OH IVE BEEN DOING RATHER DANDY!!!!!!!!!"

Lambket is ,, sorta uncommunicative...? Heket doesn't really have a clue on why Lamb likes her so much 😭🙏 theyre too afraid to tell her anything beyond that but thats just their brain still believing shes gonna get angry at anything they say. As much as she is a hothead (she has the hothead trait anyways), it's not like Allure is th subject of that nearly as much-- she's grown fond of Allure like how fond she is of Shamura, nothing can quite compare to that fondness of hers. They both feel like they need to walk on eggshells around eachother, but it's far from that verbatim, the relationship definitely needs more communication LAMFOSFJSL

Kallalamb... ouh. Oh Boy. Oh Man. The real times they "spend" time together are either,, COUGH, apparent Accidental Intimacy, or actually just bullying eachother 💀🙏 allure almost killed kallamar one time during sparring too and it left the two to not talk for what, like, WEEKS? Allure apologized for giving kallamar The Almost Casual Beheading and shi was like "im not fucking forgiving you" (shi proceeds to giggle and kick hir legs when they leave the tailor parlor because shi finds it funny whenever they apologize for something). Buut yeah,, Definitely Enemies,, with. With No Homosexual Intent (BRO ALLURE CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS !!!!! THEY KNOW YOU'RE GAY !!!!!!)

Lambmura is domestic and theyre literally just like an old married couple- either getting on eachothers nerves (on purpose usually) or spending too much alone time together. Allure frequently asks to sleepover at Shamuras shelter because they like to sleep next to their spouse ,, shamura doesn't rlly like sleeping over at allures leader tent? So ? Theyre so domesticated and silly but Shamuras memory usually gets in the way and they feel like allure is dead if they dont see them for too long. Thats what usually triggers an episode within Shamura ,, so ,, Allures clinginess is a little Worsened because of that- trying to reassure Shamura theyre alive- shamura is the calm and collected one after all ,, they dont like seeing shamura genuinely upset

Narilamb is complex in itself. Narinder is the more or so clingy one, but its a little toxic...? Because hes a bit *too* codependent on them...? The main reason anyways is because narinder doesnt wanna experience death for a second time, he still recalls his original death already being,,, Brutal. ??? SO . HE KINDA HAS THAT RIGHT TO BE AFRAID . but thats the toxicity, because its not like Allure would want to kill narinder ever again?? He has high expectations for them and hes a mortal now. Allure is aware of these high expectations and just shrugs them off, cuz, well, what else are they meant to do in fixing Narinders issues if he isnt able to better himself? Narinder /eventually/ does get better mentally but even so its tough to describe their relationship without it being pretty toxic in the first place

,,, Annd with that , basically narilamb and leshylamb are in qprs! Kallalamb is more of. Like. A situationship? At that? Kallalamb usually has their private moments and theyre well aware of this, and yet they *still* choose to hate eachother LMAOOAOA theyre clearly able to stop putting up this act but at this point it feels Natural to continue this hate phase

But yeah!! They all have complexities, even if it doesnt seem too like it!! Very fun to build these pairings up :>c

[fandomtrxsh19]

So, when I read ACOSF, I made kind of play by play notes as a listened to it( I read the audiobook) so.........here’s the chaos

HEAVY SPOILERS FOR ACOSF!!

CASSIAN SAID FUCK

WHOA there’s a LOT of swearing in this

“It’s SEVEN in the morning gods damn it” -nesta archeron

OVERSIZED SHIRTS FOR THE WIN

Feyre and Rhys have 5 houses? Not surprised...

full, inviting breasts......BIG BOOBS OMG CASSIAN YOU HORNY SON OF A BITCH

7 siphons to keep his magic under control? Dayum

So, she rode this unnamed male like a fucking roller coaster?

Depression sex? Depression sex

“Her father was ashes in the wind” DAMN THATS EDGY

“A moment of release among the darkness inside her” NESTA BBY THIS ISNT HEATHY

“She avoided both of them” not surprised

OOOOH RHYS HATES HER TEA IS BEING SPILT

So, depression sex and depression alcohol? Yup

*checks chapter count* 80 CHAPTERS??!?! Oh shit this is gonna be a triiiip

OOOOOOOOO RHYS AND NESTA BEEF

Feyre trying to apologize to nesta........she’s trying

“You’re done, Nesta” The fuuuuuck.....

So, nesta’s moving and training with cassian...........Feyre, this isn’t a good idea omg

Feyre holy shit what the fuck are you doing, you TOTAL HELICOPTER SISTER?

“I never want to speak to you again!” damn

ELAIN TRAUMA!!! Yay???

MOR FOCUSED CHAPTER!!!?

she has brown eyes? Ok

FUCK SHES WEARING A BLUE DRESS FUCK

nesta knows about mor NESTA KNOWS ABOUT MOR!!!

“I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate what I am.” DAYUM I’ve been in that exact mindset numerous times. I can relate, Nesta

Briallen? Who the fuck is that?

Scars being trapped in magic? Good fuck that’s dark

“Ooh a dark skin character? Lit

OH SHIT SHE CANT FLY HER WINGS ARE CLIPPED

Is her name Emery?

“I am the monster your fear” BBY OMG GET THERAPY

Gwyn? Seems a bit aloof

“Two gentle conversations” GOOD JOB

Fairy lights omg lol

Nesta reading smutty books.....I’m imagining this omg

THE HOUSE IS ALIVE? Sweet

OMG ELAIN SHIT!!!! BBY

“All she wanted to do was touch him” OOOOOHHHHH NESSIAN

“All I need is a hot meal and a good book.” Mood

Nesta’s worried about Mor??? REEEEEEE

“Nesta needed Feyre more than she realized.“ OOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOO FAE BARGANS

They’re bound by magic on the body?? Ooh

IT’S TRAINING TIME BITCHES

“I don’t hate you too,Cassian” OMGGGGGG REEEEE

Nesta SMILED

THEY MENTIONED VALKYRIES!!!!!

“You might be my only friend.” HMMMMMMM

*hears how cassian was born * OMG HOLY SHIT CASSIAN

*hears cassians backstory* DAMN THESE CHARACTERS NEED THERAPY

OOP SLIGHT DEPRESSION SEX

OOP CLOTHING REMOVAL

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I held you in my arms.” HMMMMMMMM

I’m loving this Nessian sparring training.

ELAIN! SHES IN THE STORY KIND OF

Elain has small boobs........same

“I thought I would drop by to see how you were doing.” AWWWWWWWWW

Yayy.....awkward sister talks........

“She was the monster.” Nesta.............I can relate.

Nesta’s angry at Elain.............

Elain’s trying to reach out and Nesta’s denying it.

MY HEART

AGAIN...THE👏RA👏PY👏

“No more seeing her sisters without her permisson.” That’s smart.

Soooooooooo......Rhys is now a German Shepard.........?

OMG CASSIAN KILLED EVERYONE THAT HELPED KILL HIS MOM........good for him

“Use that training and make me.” OOOOOOOMGGGGGG

Rhys is overprotective of Feyre and shields her......daaaaaaaaaaaaamn

“What exactly happened in the cauldron?” FEYRE BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

Again, Nesta, ✨THERAPY✨

Put a stop to what, D-does the IC know of the ✨depression smut?✨

“There was touching, but with her permission” WE 👏STAN 👏A KING👏

THAT ASKS👏FOR👏CON👏SENT👏

“Who do you think I am?” “A drunk fool who’s wasting my time?” OOOOOOOHHHHH SHOOTS FIRED!!!

Emery and Nesta to Emery’s cousin: GO HOME YOUR DRUNK ASSHOLE

*hears Nesta’s grand✨mama✨* me: grandmama, it’s me....ANASTASIA

Bruh...NESTA BIT CASS’S EAR

ugh the tool

“Baby making” hehe lol

“Nesta like gwyn”...............could she also be biiiiiiiii??????????!!!!!! YAY FIRST FRIEND IM PROUD OF YOUUUUU

NESTA SMILES AGAIN YAY!!

Alright, Meryl is BITCH

GWYN’S A QUARTER NYMPH?? Cool

“She’s failed everything.” BBY

HER POWERS? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT SILVER FLAMES

ICY FIRE??? FUUUUUUUUUCK

Nesta must’ve been petrified being surrounded by fire

It’s a dream? THE FUCK

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT SHE WAS DREAMING????

Cassian saw HER TRAUMA?????? FUUUUUUCK

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HER POWER IS DEAAAAATHH FUUUUUUCK

THE BABY HAS WIIIIINGS!!!!!!

Why is Rhys angry about the wing thing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit the tool

*hearing the possibilities of half Illyrian baby* OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUUUUCK OMG

“I loved it when you fucked my mouth cassian?” GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NEEESTAAAAA THIS ISNT HEALTHY

“What could go wrong?” DONT JINX IT

fairy monsters? OHOHOHOOOO

NONONONOOOOOO NOT AN ASH ARROW

BLACK EYES???? Fuck fuck are they in the cauldron?

OMG THE KELPIE IS DOING SHIT TO NESTA!!! Are they on the cauldron?

the MAAAAAAASK

ohOOOOOOOMGOMGOMGOMG SHE SUMMONED THE FUCKING DEAD REEEEEEEEEEE

Omg NESTAS POWERS ARE SO FUCKING COOL

She LITERALLY HAS AN UNDEAD ARMYYYYY

death HERself........badass

“Because you and cassian has been giving each other sultry looks all morning” SHE KNOWS

“For the first time in her life, she finally felt good in her own skin.” GROWTH

Omg Nesta created a swooooord!!!!! Cool

ITS INFUSED WITH MAGIC??? HELL YEAH

“I can’t lie to her!” SIIIIIIIMP

“I’d be careful when fucking her.” Oh amren

FUUUUUUCK FUCK BOOOOOOOOO TAMLIN

“You will not touch us.” YES TELL HIM

“I can’t believe Feyre ever loved tamlin.” ME TOO

“Elain saw everything Nesta did.” Daaaaaaaaamn

OOOOOOOO NESTAS PIIIIIIIISSED

OOOOOOOOOOO SECRETS FEYRE’S PIIIIIIISED

Nesta messed up and I think she realizes that

Rhys is pissed now and wants to kill Nesta....SHIIIIIIIT

Nesta: heads for a tavern me: NONONONONO GODS DAMN IT YOU’VE COME SO FAR

“I will fight for him. For us. Until I can’t anymore.” FEYRE IS GONNA BE A GREAT MOM

“Wishing to disappear into nothing.” I’ve been there.

“Cassian knew Nesta hated herself, but didn’t know how sometimes she wanted to unexist.” I RELATE TO THAT SHIT

“She had been born wrong.” AWWWWW BBY SHIIIIIT

“Was she worth being counted?” I CAN RELATE

*hearing Nesta blaming herself for her fathers death and for the horrible things she’s done, saying she can’t fix it* SHIT IM CRYING (I’m not joking)

“ I deserve nothing.” I CAN RELATE BITCH IM ACTUALLY CRYING

*hears Cassian calmly reassuring and comforting her* AWWWWW I NEED THIS QUOTE

CASSIAN CARES SO MUCH FOR HER I LOVE THIS

(I really needed that cassian talk. I literally wrote most of the quote down just in case. Thank you SJM)

EMERY CAN SENSE THE SEX HOLY SHIT

“After he’d fucked her with her fingers...” O NONONONOOO

*skips to chapter 52*

Lanthis??? Who the fuck is that?

“Gwyn and Emery are my friends” SHES GROWN SO MUCH!!!

26 dimensions? OH THIS IS SOME DOCTOR STRANGE SHIT

IT CANT BE KILLED

cassian and Nesta really went *yeet* .......... I’m sorry

THE SWORDS NAME IS ADORAXIA!!!!!!!!!!!sounds like a dnd character IDEAS

OHOHOHOOOOO BLACK THRONE AND A CROWN DEATH QUEEN NESTA WITH HER HAIR DOOOOOOWN

Rhys vs Cassian standoff *western duel music starts*

NESTA APOLOGIZED FOR EARLIER IM SO PROUD

Did Elain have a vision? DID SHE???

“I want you to seduce him.” NESTA THE HIDDEN BARD ROLL FOR PERSUASION

Mor teaching Nesta the waltz? NESTA AND MOR CAN NOT HATE EACH OTHER

Are they back at their childhood home? Because oooooooooooof ✨ childhood trauma✨

MOR AND NESTA HAVING A CONVERSATION YAY!!!!! (This’ll make rping them so maybe easier)

“We’re in a book!” Holy shit they know. HIDE THE FANFICTION

The relationship between Nesta, Emery, and Gwyn is so wholesome

“Oh FUCK you” .... NESTA

“I was just checking on dessert” MOOD

MOR AND NESTA ARE HAVING A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION

I sense tension between amren and Nesta

ERIS WANTS NESTA????

“I’m not with you.” Lier

A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH THE BATBOIS??? Holy shit they do have one(1) brain cell

A sleepover with Emery, Nesta, and Gwyn? SIGN ME UP

“Do it for the miniature Pegasus!” INSIDE JOKES

OOOOHHH i see the gwynriel ship

Wait....HER POWERS MADE THE HOUSE BE ALIVE??? Sweet

Alright 2 months til FEYSAND baby

The mating bond between cassian and Nesta?????.............

“Say it, SAY IT” GODS DAMN IT NESTA SAY THE FUCKING THING

So, Nesta’s afraid she’s gonna loose her humanity?

EMERIE NESTA AND GWYN ARE IN THE BLOODRITE? Fuuuuuuuuuck

OH NO EMERIE!!!!!!

“High Fae bitch” PUT THAT ON A SHIRT

OMG OMG OMG HELL YES VALKRIES

oh Cassian you restless bastard you

*hears Emerie’s backstory and their heart to heart* AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM

“The morrigan.” The fuck Eris?

“She’d hit the archway of stone” OOOOOOOOOOF

“For being my friends when I didn’t deserve it.” AWWWWWWWWWW

What about Feyre’s pregnancy???? Hewwo?

“Lord of bastards” heh true that’s cassian alright

Wait, OTHER set of wings

CASSIAN!!!!!!!!!!

“Now, I’m going to slit your little throat.” FUUUUUUUUCK NONONONOOOOO THIS ISNT CASS FUUUUCK

What’s the trove?

NONONONONOOOO WHYD HE GET STABBED SHIT HE GOT STABBED

Nesta’s pissed.....MAGIC TIME

wait wait wait wait wait HES NOT STABBED HELL YEAH!!!!

“You are my mate, Cassian.” ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Nessian: kissing when the world is in ruin

“She started bleeding hours ago. “ BABY TIME???

*hears the blood and feyre’s appearance*!FUUUUUUUUUCK

So, no C section? OOOOOOH SHIT THEYRE DOING IT

IM SCARED IM SCARED IM SCARED

“Silent babe?” Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Nesta Nesta Nesta What the fuck are you doing???????? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SHE HAS ALL 3! ONONONOOOOOFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOSHE PLUCKED IT FUCK

SHE STOPPED TIME?????????

WHOS the female voice?

“ I love you, Feyre” SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD!!!!!

What is she doing what is she doing what is she doiiiiingggg?

GIVE WHAT BACK?????

WHAAAAAT? A BARGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CAULDRON???

feyres alive? FEYRE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

NESTA THE MVP!!!!

*the sister hug* AWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWW I LOVE THE NAME NYX!!!!

How much did the Cauldron take from Nesta, tho?

FEYSAND IS BEST PARENTS

Alright, I want to see LOADS OF WHOLESOME FANFICS AND FANART ABOUT DOMESTIC IC AND ELAIN AND NESTA GOT IT?

[actualbird]

just had my first session of DnD and had the MOST FUN IVE HAD IN A LONG TIME. i wanna share some highlights with you guys so heres some funny moments i took note of

Context: The players are aboard a ship going to a new land called Frontier, a land filled with opportunity and danger. The voyage there is nine days long. All the players are staying in the same room.

Cast: Skirmish, a Tiefling bard who lies all the time (my character), Andromeda, a shy but kind half-elf (@afflatusssss) , Vanya, a 6ft tall Aasimar sorcerer (@miladymiss), Kelbad, a jacked as fuck human looking for mercenary work in the new place theyre sailing towards (@advice-attempts), Theimer, a mysterious pensive acolyte (@/yun_nyuu on ig). Our DM is @intensesargasm

Scenes I took note of:

Skirmish: I wink at Andromeda.

[Less than 5 minutes later]

Skirmish: I wink at Kelbad.

-

DM: You are all rooming in the same cabin. Two double beds and one single. 

Me: Is there space under the bed?

DM: …..Yes

Me: Skirmish scuttles under the bed.

-

DM: The ship lurches

Skirmish, who has sea sickness exhaustion: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST----wait no not jesus he doesnt exist in this universe----wait no, whatever, jesus fucking christ is a curse Skirmish made up and they use it a lot. 

-

[Vanya and Skirmish have sea sickness exhaustion. Kelbad is in their shared room, hammering]

Vanya: STOP HAMMERING

Kelbad: Now, now, Vanya---

Vanya: I cast spell to make him stop

DM: He stops everything he is doing and also stops talking for six seconds.

Skirmish: [at Vanya] I like you!

-

Andromeda: I come into the room holding two bowls of gruel for the sea sick. Hello! Sorry, gruel was all they had, but it’s warm!

Vanya: I thank her.

Andromeda: I have to crouch down to where Skirmish is under the bed to give the bowl to them.

Skirmish: I am taken aback. Then I say Well, this looks disgusting. Thank you.

-

[Kelbad and an NPC having a spar in the middle of the top deck]

Captain: What is going on here!?

Kelbad: Just a friendly spar :-)

NPC: Yes, just a conversation between two warriors. But the words are slashes and stabs!

-

Theimer: I’m just doing my prayers in the middle of the deck. Just reciting the whole dogma.

-

[Skirmish is talking to Theimer and just finished asking him to be a part of their adventuring party when they reach Frontier. Theimer says yes. Vanya comes over to them.]

Skirmish: I’m riding a high from Theimer joining my team so I turn to Vanya with finger guns like this and say “WANNA JOIN MY ADVENTURING PARTY?”

-

[It is the last night of the voyage and a feast is happening. Skirmish volunteers to perform at the celebration]

Skirmish: I begin performing In The End by Linkin Park. And I roll….A 20, BABY

DM: ALRIGHT, with a 20, how do you perform

Me: I START SHREDDING ON THE VIOL AND RAPPING. I HIT EVERY WORD. [I begin actually rapping In The End in the call along wiith some of the chorus]

DM: By the end of the performance, people are basically moshing. 

-

[Combat against three merfolk]

Kelbad: [rolls RIDIC HIGH DAMAGE on one of the merfolk]

DM: Okay, how do you want to kill it?

Kelbad: I knock its head clean off.

Skirmish: HA! YOU SHOULD’VE LOOKED AHEAD, FISHY.

-

[All the combat finishes, Kelbad killed the remaining merfolk, because jesus, he’s jacked as fuck]

Kelbad: I look around and say Anybody want to play cards?

DM: And that seems like the perfect place to end this session