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lynn-tged-posting · 1 month ago

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tged webtoon ep 174 spoilers and thoughts that i'm actually kinda happy about but there's just a little bit more that i wish we got to see this ep but possibly maybe itll show up later,,, maybe,,, i hope,,, and more below the cut

BEFORE WE BEGIN. WOW. HI ALICIA. WOW!!! WOW!!! SIRENS!!! HOLY BINGLE! GOOD MORNING YUOR HIGHNESS UR GORGEOUS. HELLO!!! WOW. YES. ANYTHING YOU SAY MA'AM. YES MY QUEEN OF COURSE ANYTHING YOU SAY

SHE'S GOT ABS AND MUSCLE SHE'S TONED AND HER LEGS R STRONG AND WOW. WOW GOOD MORNING HI. YES. THANK YOU KHS THANK YOU IM,,, WOW,,, I LOVE STRONG WOMEN,,, BEAUTIFUL!!!

ok back to the ep LMFAOO

it seems i kiiinda misunderstood what was happening last ep, everyone relevant to the railroad construction is in the time bubble it's just that javier isn't going up to the mountains with lloyd,,, i see!!!

"i wanna go to him and make sure he's safe" ooogh,,, oh javier,,, u love him sm,,,, ooohhhh

tbh at first i was like, a lil confused that javier didn't go up to check on lloyd esp since javier is so willing to do anything to protect lloyd. its clear too that he knows abt lloyd's heart freezing,,, though i suppose at the same time, javier trusts lloyd's word so much that when the noble says he'll be fine, javier accepts it as he always has,,, either way his desire to run to protect lloyd and his willingness to trust that lloyd will be okay are both very sweet,,, the mutual trust always makes me so happy,,,,,,, ohhh javier ilysm,,,,,,

i am glad then that alicia went up to go check on him and that javier is reassured by this!!! look at his smile ooohhh hehehee

i think choosing to have javier trust his queen instead of sowing conflict btwn the two is rlly nice, tho mostly bc i am biased bc i tend to prefer sweet reliability over infighting,,, he trusts her to take care of lloyd the way javier would take care of lloyd,,, (is this alillovier propaganda? perchance,,, /lh)

it makes so much sense that they'd be on the same wavelength n get along,,, two peas in a pod,,, powerful and clever and oh so loyal to the person that they've come to admire, respect, and love,,, the person that's saved them time and time again,,, heehee,,, truly the besties of all time!!! red and blue!!! i love it a lot!!!

and now for lloyd,,, hehe

i need it to be known that the moment i saw this panel, lloyd wearing alicia's sweater, i yelled and kicked and nearly cried. very loudly. what the hell. THATS SO?? THATS SO. IDEK

still forever thinking abt how javier is always the first one to his mind they truly r the duo ever,,, regardless of whether theyre platonic or romantic they're literally each other's number ones and the first ones they turn to im so. thats so. ghhh my heart,,, (ALSO HI ALICIA)

his stupid face,,, HIS PANELS THIS EP WERE SO SO FUNNY AND SO SO CUTE,,, i love u,,, HE JUST LOOKS SO SHOCKED AAAAHHH SO CUTE,,, wide-eyed and dumbfounded . lloyd i love u

the gags this ep were fucking amazing too HAHA i didnt add it above but the bit where alicia was like "lol next ur gonna tell me he's the demon king" and then just turns and oh hi theres demons LMFAOOO THAT WAS GOOD

AND THESE TOO SO SO SILLY i love when they're silly like this,,, goofy ass inchworm,,, its not helping u beat the bug allegations buddy,,, ily

LIKE THIS FUCKING GRABBING BIT I CACKLED SO FUCKING LOUD HAHAHAHAHAA AND LLOYD ROLLING AWAY GOD THEYRE SO FUNNY I LOVE THEM

and then she shared her mana w him,,, the little smile she gives and LLOYD BLUSHING BACK IM SO. THATS SO CUTE. HE LOOKS SO CUTE. THIS IS SO SWEET,,, AHHH,,, AAAHHHH CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE

though smth to note here, i am quite confused as to why javier's mana is suddenly rejected when he tries to absorb it? but alicia's works just fine? and javier has shared mana with lloyd before, my mutual reminded me of the namaran wall arc where siluria and javier both help lloyd with absorbing the hell knight,,, however the fact that javier's mana components have yet to break the law of causality during this arc, aka he wasnt a grandmaster yet. maybe bc of his status as a grandmaster now, where he has the same otherworldy mana lloyd does, that makes it not possible to properly absorb the mana?

alternatively, javier technically is never fated to die/be transformed in the original story, whereas lloyd should be dead and alicia should be tainted with dark magic, so bc the two of them have warped their fates at the moment, it works? and javier's doesnt bc he's technically not? idk if that makes any sense,,, i was told by my mutual that javier has shared mana with lloyd a lot in the novel before, so i'm not sure why they made this change! i hope they expand on it a lil in the future,,,

also, while i'm yapping here, i like that alicia is straightforward abt what she likes abt lloyd, but i wish they got to have a longer conversation than this,,, like this is a good start but it didn't really go anywhere (besides some really wonderful panels of lloyd but i mean like, narrative-wise lol)

as i mentioned in my last liveblog, alicia and suho share a lot more common experiences than they probably realize! and i think if they got a chance to talk about that, talking about their past circumstances, how they became who they are now, and just more in general on what led alicia to fall for lloyd besides what he's capable of,,, this ship would actually sail pretty well, yknow?

unfortunately though with the pacing of the manhwa and i guess just their episode length requirements in general, it makes sense that they couldn't get to that,,, i just wish it happened,,, maybe in snippets in future episodes? but seeing as we're getting pretty close to the end afaik, the chances are slim

i mainly love llovier but i also really love alilloyd, and i think alilloyd as a whole would have a much better leg to stand on if they actually talked about their experiences and had more instances of saving each other, of supporting each other, the way javier does with lloyd. it's too few and too far between for alicia and lloyd, so it feels like it's flatter than what it could be, y'know?

a part of me hopes that they did get to do that in the novel, but from what i recall hearing, alilloyd didn't have a strong leg in the novel either,,, i distantly recall someone telling me that the manhwa is actually doing alilloyd stronger justice than the novel did (i may be misremembering tho so don't quote me on that lol), and seeing as the manhwa's interpretation of alilloyd is so few and far between as is,,,, it makes me worried that the novel never actually got to touch upon how their relationship evolves (if im wrong, please correct me!!!)

i just want them to do well,,, they're super cute,,, please,,, ueueueue

anyway,,, this leads us to probably my FAVORITE panel of this week,,, this one of lloyd completely flushed EEE EHEHEHHEHEHEHHEE

SO SO SO SO CUTE. I YELPED WHEN I SAW THIS,,, I LOVE THAT ALICIA FALLS FIRST AND THEN LLOYD FALLS SO MUCH HARDER THAT'S FUCKING ADORABLE. methinks it's like that with javier too. lloyd falling and tripping up over realizing someone has romantic affection for him is probably one of my favorite things EVER. that's adorable. I LOVE HIM AAAHHH CUTE CUTE CUTE

one last thing to mention is just that,,, it seems like theres a mage messing w the weather conditions up in the mountains and i aaaam a lil worried that itll kickstart fate for alicia,,,, esp considering we,,, havent seen worthroad in a while. whatever that guys name was,,, what if its him and he's gonna fuck everything up!?? im really worried for them,,, please be okay,,,

and that's all for this week! i really REALLY enjoyed this episode,,, the panels and art were so so good, and while there were some things i wished would happen i think it was still really good overall, it gave me a lot to talk about! the gags were balanced and their interactions were so fun,,, yay!

i'll see yall next time,,, im so excited to see whats next,,,!!!!!

#tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #tged spoilers #the greatest estate designer #tged lloyd #lynn misc #lynn yaps #alicia magentano #tged javier #tged alicia #javier asrahan #i normally would have posted this over the weekend but i was actually at a CON!!! YAYYY #i cosplayed lloyd! though admittedly the coat color is way lighter than it should be... ill be fixing it for the next con :3 #i wont be posting the photos on my socmeds (dont feel like it + considering how scary ai is getting esp w deepfakes... no thanks)#but if ur a mutual / if ur on the discord u can find them :3 #no tged merch at the cons yet. however my new years goal is to yap abt tged so much that it gets popular enough for cons.#is this a difficult task? yes! but i believe in me... i believe in us #step 1: yap. step 2: ???. step 3: PROFIT!!! or well not profit. bc id be spending money. U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THO #theres a lot more i wanna yap abt but i think ill save it for a diff post dedicated to the topic... the topic is javier hehe #anyway sorry i keep doing this where i just chat abt other stuff in the tags. its fun for me to write tho so i hope someone is entertained

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decapod-appreciator · 7 months ago

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(baron voice) ris gugac… drew this while listening to the ep where they got the tatoos and they have such a clear visual to me but idk if I got it down.

notes-

he’s actually quite tall for a goblin! idk exact numbers but Pok is described as very like. suave super spy so he gets to be tall.

he’s wearing human dress pants here and would theoretically have a matching human jacket with the sleeves rolled up too. he does have nice dress clothes tailored to fit a gobin that he got after freshman year, but no way in HELL is he getting them ruined on spring break.

the tattoos are incredibly detailed, full conspiracy board on one arm, newspaper clipping-loking things on the other, ‘NIGHT YORB’ on his chest, just straight up a list of people’s names on his ribs, a big full piece of the crown on his back. the two lines on the back of his hand are ‘POK GUKGAK’ and ‘SHADOW CAT’

his glasses are the kind that you get in like. play spy kits where there are mirrors in the corners so you can see behind you. this will have no concequinces of the Baron variety surely.

#drew this while listening to the first leviathan ep and I can confidently say Garthy is maybe the hottest podcast character… ever?#my art #d20 #reference sheet #dimension 20 #dimension twenty #riz gukgak #riz d20 #d20 riz #fhfy #fhsy #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #also off topic but I think riz is like. REAL pretty for a goblin #Garthy calls Pok handsome and we all know Sklonda’s hot #all things considered Fabian is probably average for an elf #so Riz comes out as the most attractive species-wise of the crew #we stan a gorgeous aroace king

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lol-jackles · 9 months ago

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I'm sure you heard that CW won't be renewing Walker. Is it delusional of me to hope that CBS will give Walker the SEAL Team treatment and renew it for Paramount plus? I know the industry is crap right now with cancelling shows with 10 million viewers (NCIS Hawaii) and cutting number of episodes in half so maybe that's too much to ask for.

Well I've been saying for a while here that if the new CW doesn't take Walker into season 5 (when they have to pay all the bills), then there's a 50/50 chance that CBS take back Walker, put it on Paramount+ and make it more procedural.

Walker ended on CW on a high note as the #1 scripted show and thanks to the negotiation fight over fees and profits reported in the media, it confirmed what most of us suspected: Walker is profitable thanks to licensing to international and streaming markets.

Jared had a sweetheart deal in getting the show to film in his hometown, I haven't seen any tv actor able to get studio to agree to this (if I'm wrong then send me a message). And then he proved his EP title is not just a vanity title by helping to create an enviable work environment for cast and crew. Jared raised his stock in the industry and producers have noticed. Friendly reminder that the CEO of the production company behind Walker is now in charge of Netflix films.

#walker #jared padalecki

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snowthedemonfox · 4 months ago

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ive had a few people send me this tweet, and while it's entirely possible that this is a placeholder date, i do think some things are a bit interesting about it. this might take a bit, so i'm putting it all under a read more.

but first of all i want to say: i do not want glitch to rush out episodes. i do not want the team to force themselves to get this out asap, i do not care how long ep 4 and any future episodes take to get here!! we can wait :D

but moving on, first thing i noticed is that december 13th is a friday. glitch always drops episodes on fridays. maybe netflix does too, i dont pay attention to netflix, but that's one thing that i thought was interesting.

the second thing (and the main reason im making this post) might take a bit of context to fully explain:

when murder drones was being worked on, up until after episode 6, their release schedule was pretty consistent: a new episode every few months, from november 2022 to august 2023. after episode 6 dropped, glitch started to focus on TADC's pilot, which was one of the many reasons it took even longer than just a few months for episode 7 to release.

if you take the wait times between episodes from episode 2 to episode 6, the average amount of days was around 70-ish days. this number is important, ill mention it later on.

why do i bring this up? because im pretty sure that MD's final 2 episodes are the reason this release schedule didn't immediately apply to TADC. we knew from a post glitch made in early 2023 that MD ep 8 was going to be delayed.

i don't think it's that much of a stretch to say that while glitch had planned to release TADC episodes in the middle of working on MD, since MD caused delays, it of course meant that TADC's episodes also couldn't follow that 'new episode every few months' schedule that MD had in it's early days. this resulted in episode 2 taking half a year to release, and another 5 months for episode 3.

another thing to note is that while I have no idea how long production of a show takes when it comes to glitch, i do think that how they handled TADC was fairly different from how MD happened.

after MD's pilot dropped, there was a year of hiatus between episodes 1 and 2. i wouldnt be surprised if the reason this took so long is because production of further episodes only begun after MD's pilot started to gain attention, so glitch had the support needed to continue.

with TADC, we know that production of future episodes had started before the pilot even released. the scripts had been written, and voice lines had been recorded well in advance.

because of this, TADC didn't need a year of hiatus just so glitch could start production, so this 'new ep every 70ish days' timeline couldve still happened if MD didnt cause delays (not saying that's a bad thing, glitch should be taking all the time they need!). but now that MD is over, glitch now has the time to make TADC a priority.

not to say their focus will be completely on TADC, we still have the gaslight district's pilot that, if i had to guess, probably will release sometime between october-november 2025 (yes, this does mean TADC's later episodes will also have delays due to this. let's all remember to be nice to glitch even when this happens).

they've probably done the same thing with TGD, where production of future episodes started before the pilot. so glitch still will be working on that alongside TADC.

but back to the twitter post that prompted me to write this whole thing out: if you take the day that episode 3 released (october 4th, 2024), and add 70 days to it, you get:

december 13th! the date that netflix had listed! so either netflix got incredibly lucky with a random date, or they did their math homework and figured this would be a safe bet for a potential episode 4 release. so if i had to guess, if this date does turn out to be ep 4's actual release date, we could have a trailer by the 29th of november.

but hey, while we wait, glitchx is coming up soon! that's exciting, i cant wait to see what they reveal this time :D

#the amazing digital circus #arctic fox speaks #for the people asking what the hell: i just looked at the release dates and noticed a pattern was broken so i assumed that was the reason

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trutrustories · 1 year ago

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STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE

Part 2: Breaking Brad

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining)

Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta.

I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

EPISODE 1 HERE

Okay, Check-list, ep 2:

11) matching suits part 1 THIS ⬇️ costume department did a great job and they look badass together also, they´re walking very close to each other.

12) Loki defending /saving Mobius from Brad (with magic!) also, Mobius, dear, (my beloved) you were really going for it! Always so ready to fight! I can´t xD

Loki "don´t u dare hurt him" Laufeyson, look at his face!

13) Mobius and Loki struggling to assemble IKEA furniture- sorry Tapmad together

14) " And he knows..." I mean yeah, sure. keep remind us, that Mobius knows everything about Loki, and saw him at his worst, so we can appreciate even more the fact, that Mobius likes him and cares for him so damn much 💚🤎

15) Loki finding Mobius´s joke amusing Mobius: cracking joke right after Loki´s threatening speech:

Loki:

16) Loki being very concerned for Mobius after his outburst, saying that It´s okay, and then suggests having pie because he knows Mobius so well and is avare of the fact, that his man is stress eater I´m gonna cry they´re too pure for MCU someone adopt them

17) Bickering like married couple (part 2) 18) The whole freaking pie scene!

Just them, sharing calm, intimate moment together

Mobius opening up to Loki, and admiting he "lost it"

Loki trying to make him feel better and absolutely KILLING IT! btw, I know, that some people think, this scene doesn´t make sense, because Loki didn´t "lost it" during avengers, but was controlled by mind stone, etc.... well I think that it actually doesn´t matter. Guess what else doesn´t make sense? For example the fact, that they already talked about Loki fighting Avengers ( during their first meeting.) Loki is aware, that Mobius saw New York invasion at least twice now, and he´s telling him anyway. I would say, that point here is Loki trying to lift Mobius´s spirit, entertain him, make him smile. Why else woud he start his monolog by "remember, when...?" And I think, that this is huge, actually: Loki, using his bad memory, defeat, his humulianting experience to make Mobius feel better. So not only, that we see, he no longer care about being rurel but we see him making lightly fun of it FOR MOBIUS´S SAKE! He has different priorities now... our immortal god is a grown man now... it´s just so fucking beautiful... 🥺

Also Mobius saying to Loki: "come on, you´re the God of Mischief" Like it´s a best thing in the world, and Loki gives him THIS LOOK! (I mean that head tilt would be considered "acting" category, but I´m already making concessions by including all these things under one number :D

19) Loki and Mobius: mischievous duo

Mobius trusts him so completly!

They both such a drama queens!

And they works so well together!

like... seriously, Brad didn´t see this coming, AT ALL! xD

also... Loki complimenting his plan?!

20) "They say opposites attract. NO." Mobius´s wishfull thinking xD (But hey, it IS true. Opposites attracts. And works greatly together. That´s the only reason, why, for example, trope like grumpy one/sunshine one is so popular!) I can´t! just look at his face 🤣 Oh honey! just calm down

He is sooooooo NOT chill here xD bless him

21) Loki, not following Sylvie, but actually staying with Mobius and comforting him. AGAIN. (which is an absolutely glaring contrast compared to episode 2 in first season!)

#loki spoilers #lokius #loki season 2 #loki and mobius #MCU #mobius m mobius #mobius #owen wilson #tom hiddleston

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thisapplepielife · 1 year ago

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Written for the @steddiemicrofic February challenge.

So Here Is Us

February Prompt: Edge | Word Count: 509 | Rating: T | CW: Post-Apocalyptic, Pre-Existing Injury | Tags: Canon Divergence Post-S4, Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, Survival, Just the Two of Us, The World is Bleak, But We're Together

Steve's been walking forever.

He was goddamn certain there was a town nearby, and now he's scared. Scared he's made a mistake. Scared Eddie can't survive him being wrong.

Steve studies landmarks, memorizing his way back to the abandoned building. Back to Eddie. He repeats the directions he's been making up in his head:

Straight towards the burned out car, past the tall tree, turn at mile marker 365…

With no map, he repeats these markers, over and over, making sure he'll be able to find Eddie again, because if he doesn't, they'll both be dead. Eddie from infection; Steve from the insanity of finally being truly alone.

Eddie had looked at him, his expressive brown eyes shining with pain and fever, and begged Steve not to go. Begged Steve not to leave him. Steve hadn't wanted to, had scrubbed his hand over his face, pinching his nose, terrified, and trying not to show it.

But, Eddie can't walk anymore.

So, Steve had to leave him somewhere safe, stashed away from monsters, despite every instinct in his body telling him no, don't because you don't split up. That's rule number one. But, Eddie's got an infected demobat bite on his side, with lines of red shooting upwards, towards his heart. He's balancing on the edge of trouble, real trouble.

Steve's scared to death if he doesn't find antibiotics that Eddie won't survive the next few days. And if Eddie goes…

Eddie can't go, can't leave Steve all alone out here, on the raggedy edge.

Civilization is gone, decimated by Vecna, and yet, somehow they've survived. And Steve needs them to keep surviving. Needs Eddie to keep surviving.

"How will you find me again?" Eddie had asked, sweat dripping down his temples, as he tried to hold back the shiver that wanted to break free.

Steve had held Eddie's overheated face in his dirty hands, and pressed his dry lips to Eddie's, "I'll always find you again."

Now, when Steve finally sees the abandoned small-town pharmacy, he wants to cry. The sign says Steve's Pharmacy, and he wonders if he's dead. If this is a nightmare Vecna's trapped him in.

No. He doesn't have time for a crisis. Eddie doesn't have time for Steve to have a crisis. The door to the pharmacy is standing wide open, already ransacked.

But the pull-down gate over the pharmacy hasn't been breached, somehow, and behind the locked metal barrier are shelves full of pill bottles.

Steve digs in his backpack, gets his bolt cutters, and goes to work. It's hard, nearly impossible, and his hands are blistered and throbbing by the time he's made a hole large enough to squeeze through.

There's a drug reference book on the counter, laid open, abandoned, and Steve reads. Finds the matching bottles, stuffing his backpack full. Taking everything he can carry.

Taking the book, too. They'll need it again, he's certain.

Back on the abandoned street, he starts repeating as he walks:

Turn at mile marker 365, past the tall tree, towards the burned out car…

Notes: This was set in the same little universe as my fic for the November prompt, Miles to Go, was. Can be read alone, or continued there, if you're so inclined.

Title is from a quote from Serenity: "This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge."

Picture is from The Walking Dead. I was like, "I need an abandoned pharmacy, like the one that was in that early ep of The Walking Dead. Maybe I can find a screenshot." I did, and but I definitely did not remember it was called Steve's Pharmacy. Hilarious. That was just a gift from the universe, lol.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiemicrofic and follow along with the fun! ❤️

#steddiemicrofic #steddiemicroficfebruary #thisapplepielife: short fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #steddie short fic #steddie fanfiction #thisapplepielife: steddiemicrofic #thisapplepielife: end of the world au

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bekolxeram · 4 months ago

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Henren got Mara back! Yay! I love that girl, you didn't see her true self when she first joined the Wilsons. Once she felt safe enough to open up, wow, so adorable and charismatic. I just love her chemistry with other child actors. She took my heart in 8x01 when she was doing that HP spell thing with Chimney. Can't wait to see more of her.

Emmy worthy acting by Aisha and Tracie, 11/10 no notes. (Also the custody/parenting stuff hits to close to home for me, I'll probably never comment on it. It's out of my depth.)

The Ortiz storyline is... meh. They should've included her more in the first 3 episodes, setting her up then bringing her down within one episode was kind of a let down. Gerrard playing the crucial part in her downfall, in order to protect his own interests, that... actually makes sense! Hotshots is a nice job for him, if the crew can deal with Brad, they can deal with Gerrard.

(The whole snowflake speech in the golf scene must be interesting for Brian Thompson, seeing he's the completely opposite of Gerrard lol I'm sure the cast had quite a lot of fun filming with him)

So the tiger is totally Ming, even down to the hand raised as cub and the pit bull lie.

Eddie the combat medic AND Eddie the struggling single father, in one episode? Wow, gimme more! I'd love to dig deeper into his character and find out who Eddie Diaz actually is, outside of the roles imposed by his family, society and himself.

Ah, no Tommy this week either :( But at least we have Buck dressed in very Tommy style clothes? To be fair, Buck is barely in this ep himself, after the opening scene. Also we all thought Bathena's house hunt would be a long emotional journey, but that just whipped by in a couple short scenes. They were too busy trying to wrap up the Ortiz SL and advance the Eddie and Chris one. I have faith we'll see Tommy very soon, in more Buck centric episodes.

(I think Lou tweeted because the plane disaster got dragged out into 2 episodes last minute and he just got his numbers mixed up. We'll probably see him next week. I mean Buck is actually in the synopsis for once.)

Oh, nearly forgot, Bobby the therapist. hahahahaha

#first reaction #911 spoilers #911 abc #bucktommy #|<-this is basically the only place I go #and it serves as a warning for those who come across my blog from the main show tag but don't want to see bucktommy content #Most of the stuff I post is related to them in some ways

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msp9 · 5 months ago

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ONE-SHOT

I can't keep waiting for the trailer.

To be clear I have not seen the ep. or anything, This is simply my idea of what could happen based on the info we got from comic con and people who saw the first episode and reviewed it. So keep in mind this contains slight spoilers.

+ some hints of Benrius that i added.

If you want to avoid spoiler do not read this.

__________

“it's been days. We don’t even know where we’re going.” Yaz said frustrated.

“Wherever were going it can’t be too far away now.” Darius said trying to bring some sense into everyone.

Sammy, who sat on the on the bed they had assembled from debris, joined the conversation,

“Darius, I know you’re probably right this time… But you have been saying that for days now.”

“I know but we can do this, we’ll just… Kenji I think it’s your turn to bring some food in.” He noted, changing the topic.

“If by ‘food’ you mean lettuce the herbivores eat then sure.” Yaz sarcastically pointed out.

“I don’t find it that bad.” Ben answered, trying to support Darius. Yaz wasn’t impressed, she crossed her arms “no one believed that dude.”

Sammy interrupted “It reminds me of the salads me and my siblings… used to prepare.” her face dropped.

Meanwhile, Darius took a glance towards Kenji’s direction; he sat on wooden box they had stolen from another container nearby, staring down on the floor.

The mood started getting tense as they kept arguing behind Darius.

“Guys, Kenji will just find some food then we’ll figure something out, Right Kenji?” Darius said.

“Kenji? You there?” Ben asks.

Kenji abruptly stood up “What- Yes!” He quickly responded.

Everyone stared at him in confusion.

“Okay…” Ben muttered.

“Alright.. and whilst you’re at it me and Ben can go fill our water bottles.” Darius suggested, giving Ben a soft glance, as if to say ‘right Ben?’.

He received a warm smile in return.

“Okay! So, I’ll go do that… now.” Kenji awkwardly said already backing out of the container.

“Wait!- Maybe bring Yaz with you?” Darius said in a loud-but-not-too-loud-voice in hope Kenji would hear him. But to no avail, he was too far gone.

On the contrary, Yasmina had clearly heard Darius idea and was giving him a not so welcoming stare, she wasn’t a fan of the idea. After all these events, she didn’t want to leave Sammy’s side.

“Safety in numbers” Darius smiled awkwardly raising both his hands to shoulder level, palms facing outward.

Sammy nudged her girlfriend on the arm, Yaz looked at her, then back at Darius again.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Great, Sammy you can keep an eye out for guards.”

The cowgirl nodded in response.

“Okay, let’s go” Ben said putting a hand on Darius back.

“Be careful,” Sammy said to her girlfriend.

“I would be more concerned about the others.” Yaz joked.

“Yes I will.” she added.

----

As Yaz made her way around the containers avoiding getting caught, she finally spotted Kenji on the left side of the ship,

He was picking up some lettuce from an herbivore’s container.

Before she ran towards him, she checked both sides in case any security member was around, then looked back at Kenji, and stopped herself.

He stood at the edge of the ship. With the lettuce in his hand. Staring down at the water. Then in a swift motion threw all the greens in the water.

Wtf

“Kenji what are you doing?” She asked in a low voice, while running towards him.

Kenji seemed more shocked than relieved that she was there.

“Why are you following me?” he whispered, a tone of anger in his voice.

“I wasn’t, Darius asked me to help you out- And why did you throw our food in the ocean anyways?” Yaz asked upset.

Kenji rubbed his head.

“I was just… Feeding the fish.”

Yaz eyelids fell halfway.

“Really dude, feeding the fish?” she mocked.

Kenjis expression changed.

“Yeah, what if I was? Do they not deserve that?” he said sharply.

“And what were you planning on saying to the others, when you returned emptyhanded?” Yaz questioned.

“I don’t understand what your problem is. I’m fine.” He declared walking away.

Normally Yaz would have gotten angry, but this time she felt concerned for some reason.

His whole behavior was weird.

Now that she thought about it, he had been acting weird this whole time on the ship.

On her way back Yaz picked up some more food. She was in a hurry thought beacuse her mind was still stuck on those last words Kenji had said.

She may not be certified yet but she knew a thing or two about body language and way of speech.

He was obviously not fine. Kenji was hiding smth.

Yaz finally got back to their temporary shelter and from what she saw; Ben and Darius had already returned from their mission.

They and Sammy were sitting around the box Kenji was using as a chair earlier.

They were playing the ‘Guess the dinosaur’ game, That Darius came up with for entertaining reasons.

And like always, Darius was winning.

Yaz enjoyed seeing them laugh and chuckle with every unrealistic answer either Ben or Sammy gave.

But soon her mind went on Kenji again, she wanted to find him and possibly figure out what’s bothering him.

“Hey, has Kenji returned yet?” she asked looking around the container.

“No, wasn’t he with you?” Darius asked, confused.

“We kind of… got separated”

“Separated?” Ben asked.

“Yeah.. Have you not seen him?”

“No, Is he okay?” Sammy asked worried.

“It’s okay nevermind, he’s probably just late.” Yaz said, trying to avoid further questions.

“Anyways, I brought food.”

“Good, I’m so starving.” Sammy said, Yaz smiled and handed over the lettuce in her hand.

"I think i left some more outiside" Yaz noted.

"Me and Ben saw some pretty datk clouds in the distance." Darius noted.

“I'll be quick, be back soon.” Yaz added going back ouside to find Kenji.

________

Hope you enjoyed that :)

Ik it was a bit rushed but oh well. I needed to do smthing instead of waiting around for the trailer so i wrote this at 3am.

(If you watched the spoiler ep. review than you probably know what Kenjis up to hehe🥪)

#jwct #jurassic world chaos theory #yasmina fadoula #camp cretaceous #ben pincus #jwcc #sammy gutierrez #darius bowman #jurassic world camp cretaceous #campcretaceous #oneshot #fiction #fanfic

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moxie-girl · 5 months ago

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DRDT EP 13/14 ANALYSIS/THEORIES

I said I'd do this once I collected my thoughts! haha Warning! This is super long…

To start, I'm going to pick apart all the stuff I predicted for ep. 13 (I'll try not to make it too long…)

Levi's Secret

Well. Levi sure did admit to. All that! I think this eliminates any last doubts I personally had about him being the killer… (your honor just because I'm a serial killer doesn't mean I killed that specific person /ref) I really like that he isn't shown as a bad person just because he lacks empathy, and he's actually actively trying to be a good person… the fact that he just admitted his secret because he thought it was the right thing to do is so funny though, there go all my theories lol! (I'm still a little worried about rule 14 though…)

Ace's (Almost) Murder

Yeah!! This is probably what we're gonna spend episode 14 talking about, with murder method and alibis, etc. I still don't think it was Nico though! (I want to say I called that it'd be relevant, but it felt a little obvious…)

The Murder Method

I think we can say this has been all figured out, with the method being exactly what several people much smarter than me all figured out.

The Possible Culprits

Rose was still acting a little odd, but I think Whit on the other hand, despite whatever all that was, is off the hook for now, so my number 1 suspect is still Hu! I'm like 90% sure she was the one who tried to kill Ace, at least, and that's become very important now!

Secrets

Well, we got all the secrets figured out! (Hu :( ) The fandom interpretation was pretty much correct, except for Teruko's (we'll get to that later…) I do hope that after this trial, some of the secrets that are not relevant/haven't really been discussed do get adressed, because I could even see them becoming motives for murder again. But also, I just want the characters to talk about them! (gimme that juicy juicy angst…)

Ace

He didn't re-open his injury or really freak out like I expected, but we got some vulnerability (and a new sprite!) from Ace, and considering next episode is probably gonna focus a ton on him, I'm still expecting at least one of the two to happen…

Teruko

Luckily for Teruko, we didn't have anything unlucky happen to her this episode! But she sure did get her time in the protag spotlight anyway, I'm glad she didn't let the mistake from last episode get her down!

☆ ☆ ☆

Also, my bingo card! I got a bingo!! (ft. my messy tiny notes if you want to read them)

A few of my other bingo predictions I'm still going to hold on to for the next (few) episodes, but now, onto some new stuff!

Final Arei Flashback

Whoooah boy was that scene a doozy. I'm starting to think David's murderous rage towards the blackened at the start of the trial was genuine, because me too, man. I'm really glad Arei got at least a little bit of closure before she died, though! She also had an interesting take on the "good person" role, something that has been very important to this trial thus far and will likely continue to be. (I'm thinking that the killer may have had a "good person"-related motivation for killing, which is why it's the chapter's overarching theme?)

Also, to adress the elephant in the room… EDEN??? Well, no wonder Xander "didn't expect her to attack [him] like that" - and from her expression I wonder if she expected it either - I'm really looking forward to learning more about what, exactly, happened before the killing game that involved them! I didn't really believe in Mastermind!Eden before this, but it's starting to look pretty plausible... (Also Xander is the king of haunting the narrative oh my god lol)

Teruko's Secret

Many of us, myself included, were hoping/guessing/assuming that when all the secrets were figured out, David would reveal that he actually had Teruko's, not Xander's. While that didn't happen, the way he reacted after she claimed "her" secret essentially confirms it, as does a lot of other evidence:

That secret being hers would complete a secret circle of Teruko -> Rose -> Whit -> David -> Teruko and a secret pair of Xander <--> Min, which makes sense considering all other secret swaps are either circles of four or in pairs.

Xander and Min would have each other's secrets logically since neither of them can receive secrets, so theirs would probably be separated from the rest.

MonoTV's line about not knowing whether they're all correct feels like a reminder/a hint that some of the secrets are incorrect, and those two feel like the most likely options.

Teruko apparently has no idea which secret is actually hers, so may have just guessed the one that sounded more like her, except we know she never knew her parents and only had one sibling (as does Charles… I wonder if he'll notice)

EDIT: I cant believe I almost forgot, but I feel like David’s attitude towards Xander (and Teruko) makes more sense with these secrets, because why would he idolize Xander if the killing game was his fault, but he would idolize him if he thought Xander was trying to end the killing game by killing Teruko, the person David now thinks/knows is at fault.

However, since David didn't claim out loud that Teruko was lying, it's likely that this piece of information will become relevant much later in the series, and he'll be keeping it to himself for now.

Veronika and Hu

When did Veronika and Hu make their pact? And how did Hu, presumably the one who wanted to make the pact, know that Veronika had her secret? Also, what on earth do you mean, Veronika, that your secret isn't the worst thing you've done???? This little section with the two of them could just be entirely innocent and a way for the dev to get the rest of the secrets on the board, and let Veronika be a little unhinged as she tends to be, but I get the feeling at least some of this is relevant. (I'm betting on either Accomplice!Veronika or Veronika's actual "worst thing" being important to a later trial…)

David

Ohhhhh, David. I feel like Veronika with how much I want to psychoalanize this guy. He is on the verge of a breakdown, and I can feel it! The question being, of course, whether Arei's death was enough to make it happen this chapter, or whether this is something that's gonna last another chapter or two before coming to a head. My money's on the second option, because I think this trial is about to be about Ace and his impending breakdown :)

I do hope after this trial we do get to see a little more of what David's actually like beyond his facades/the roles he's been playing! Also, as much as I'd like to see David survive and have to deal with the consequences of revealing his "true" personality on live television, I think it's more likely he'll go the way of DR antags trying to end the killing game via self-sacrifice.

(We also better keep a close eye on anyone who tries to befriend or help David in Ch3, because they're gonna die next! /j)

J's Morality

This is a short one, but I just wanted to comment on another analysis I saw point out that J has been one of the most vocal people anytime murder has been brought up. I think that behind her rougher personality, J is a more empathetic person, and/or has very strong morals, making her a narrative foil to Levi now, so I do hope the two of them interact in Ch3!

Whit??

Whit. Whit why do you know so much about hanging??? Being serious though, I saw someone else bring up that his mother might have died by hanging and he researched it afterwards as a coping mechanism or something? That's the saddest possible explanation, but it does make the most sense by far… I honestly don't think that Whit is the killer, because then why would he be being so helpful in figuring out the murder method, but he's still so weird and suspicious sometimes.

Nico!

Even though I still don't think it was Nico (crime scene makes more sense if seen as Nico trying to help Ace, they may have just admitted to it because it was the less confrontational option, next ep is def not the last one and I think it'll be about proving who it was other than Nico, and if you look at Nico's secret quote…) I still do hope they get the chance to get mad! Get mad at Ace! Get mad at David! Get mad at whoever the (attempted) killer was for putting the blame on them! Idk I just want them to have their moment.

☆ ☆ ☆

And finally, here are my new bingo cards for the next episode:

(I can't believe ep14 is gonna be 40 mins + there's a "non-spoiler" thumbnail rn oooooh I'm so nervous)

#godd i missed being in a fandom w weekly episodes + theorizing its soooo fun #drdt #drdt spoilers #danganronpa despair time #hu jing #nico hakobyan #ace markey #arei nageishi #teruko tawaki #david chiem #drdt theory

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butyou-callmewhenyourebored · 1 year ago

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Reading & Leeds AU Imagine

Summary: You meet four teenage lads at Leeds Fest in 2007 who change your life forever.

Warnings: Swearing. Vulgar language. Small shite section of smut. One use of y/n near the end. I nearly used my own name but then you can just imagine your own x

Author's Note: Here is the Leeds Fest AU that I've been going on about since the idea popped into my head the morning after I went to Leeds nearly two months ago. I don't think it's very good, definitely not my best work but it's finished I don't have to think about it anymore! But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Now got to find motivation to finish my other WIPS that I've abandoned!

Word Count: 6.4K Words

You thought you knew what proud was; there were many moments in your life that you could recall where you felt immense proudness for the four men that made up your best friends. The day they rang you to tell you they had signed their record deal, the day their first EP was released, the day their debut album went to number one, when they sold out Madison Square Garden, the day they first played Reading and Leeds, the first time they headlined Reading and Leeds. The list was endless.

But there was something about the way you felt today that surpassed all of that. Here you were at the side of the main stage at Leeds Festival about to watch your boys headline the festival that started it all. The 1975 was ringing out across the field, the kids were screaming and your heart was hammering in your chest in time with George’s drums as he kicked off The City to the delight of the crowd.

A celebration of the album that they dreamed of making when you met them. A celebration of the album that soundtracked not only the lives of their fans but yours and theirs too. A celebration of the band and every beautiful thing they had achieved in the past ten years surrounded by those they loved and those who loved them the most.

You had told Matty that you were unsure you’d make it today due to a work situation that had popped up which had sent him into a tizzy this morning because you had never missed a performance of theirs at Leeds, despite being at Reading with them just the night before but you couldn’t cancel this important meeting in London called by your manager late last night when you returned from Reading and you weren’t sure if you’d make it in time to see them back up North.

“But you have to be there darling. This is our thing!”He had huffed, as you reached for him and pulling him into your arms as you went to say goodbye.“Leeds is ours! Not Reading. Leeds! You have to be there.” He huffed.

He made your heart hurt as his lip quivered as he watched you hug the other boys and the thought of him being upset made you even more determined to make sure you were side of that stage in time for the opening bars of The City.

You watched as he ran about the stage, singing his little heart out. The kids screaming the words to The City back at the band. George had already sent you a smirk from his seat behind the box knowing fine well Matty would lose his shit when he clocked eyes on you. You looked out towards the audience; the excitement on their faces as they sung every word before turning to look back at your boys. Your hand immediately reaching to touch your box tattoo that sat on your thumb (matching with your friend behind the drum kit) as your heart soared with happiness for them.

When you looked up you found Ross with his eyes on you. A soft smile on his handsome face, your eyes locked on to one another for a brief moment that was abruptly interrupted by the roar of applause from the fans when the first song came to an end.

Bringing your hands to your mouth you cheered as loudly as you could; your laugh a sound Matty would recognise anywhere had him snapping his head in your direction. The moment he clapped eyes on you; he was beaming! His eyes bright and his smile even brighter knowing his best friend had made it. Pointing at you with a cheeky grin, he pulled the mic to his mouth quickly so you could hear him.

“Fucking knew you’d make it darling! This one is for you!” He announced as the intro to M.O.N.E.Y (one of your favourites) started up to more roars of noise.

2007

Leeds Festival was directly sewn into the DNA of your friendship with the group of teenage boys who went on to be the band The 1975. Having being the place you had met all those many moons ago when headlining the festival was only a dream for them. Now they were about to headline the festival for the third time in four years and proud didn’t even cut it for how you felt for those boys.

You weren’t sure how your life would have turned out if you hadn’t met them the summer of 2007 or if you had simply set up your tent next to somebody else but you were forever grateful for your cousin and “friends" (at the time) for dragging you along because your life was enriched in every aspect because of them.

Trekking through the fields to find your camp sight was proving difficult when your cousin and his mates were pissing about and collectively had about two braincells between them. So you took it upon yourself to march ahead and find the nearest available space and dumping your tent and rucksack on the ground to reserve the spot.

“Oi dickheads! Over here!” You shouted towards the direction of your idiot cousin.

Waiting for him; his two mates and the girlfriends of said friends, who I guess you could call your friends too to make their way over. You took a look around at your neighbours for the next four days. Next to you was a group of teenage boys who were setting up their tents, the one setting up their little camping stove looked up at you at your outburst. God he was pretty you thought as you took in his casual appearance.

“You mind if we grab this spot?”

“Not at all love. Matty.” He held out his hand as he introduced himself.

Shaking his hand; you introduced yourself with a polite smile before shimmying your tent out of it’s bag as your cousin and his pals all appeared, dumped their stuff on the floor before announcing they were going to explore. Therefore leaving you to look after their shit and to attempt to put up your tent by yourself. After ten minutes, several failed attempts and numerous curses towards your absent cousin when the rest of your neighbours appeared.

The tall, dark and handsome one introduced himself first.

“Hi, I’m Ross. You need a hand with that?”

When you turned to look at him; he was wearing jeans and a hoodie and a soft smile on his face. Nodding at his offer, you explained about your useless cousin and that you didn’t have great hopes for the weekend given that he had already fucked off.

“Don’t worry you can chill with us. They’re pretty useless too but we get by!” He chuckled; nodding in the direction of his mates. “That’s Adam, but we call him Hann and that’s George.” He grinned as you waved at his equally cute mates.

It was as simple as that. You barely spoke to your cousin that weekend. Just let your friendly neighbours cart you around the festival, getting drunk with them and letting them hoist you up on their shoulders as you watched multiple acts that weekend. During your down time, you sat around the campfire and got to know one another. You found out they were from not far from you in Manchester, they were all around the same age, they were all single apart from Hann. And they found out that you really did hate your cousin’s mates and you were newly single after your boyfriend of two years cheated on you and that you were hoping to go to uni to study music.

Giddily telling you that they were all in a band together as you revealed this information; you listened to Matty ramble on about what he wanted to do with his best friends and where he wanted the band to go in terms of their career and you couldn’t help but watch him earnestly as he spoke so passionately about it. Leaning on your knees; you rested your face in the palm of your hands as you listened intently, wrapped up in the jumper Ross had leant you as the evening grew cold with a smile on your face.

It was refreshing to listen to a teenage boy talk with so much passion about something instead whatever shit your cousin and his mates were chatting shite about, you couldn’t even stand to converse with the girlfriends it was that bad. You think you’d have let him pull you around this muddy park and talk your ear off all night that’s how much you enjoyed his company.

The last night of the festival; off the back of the giddiness of watching the Red Hot Chilli Peppers with the boys and screaming your favourite lyrics back at the band from your spot upon George’s shoulders. You giddily jumped into Matty’s arms when you dismounted the drummer and let him slip his hand in yours as you all made your way back towards your campsite.

You lost the rest of the boys at some point within the masses of people; so you took your time making your way back, swinging your arms between one another and spinning each other round. You were so happy! You arrived three days ago in a bit of a mood if you were being honest that your brother hadn’t been able to come with you and you were stuck with those imbeciles but the boys in your neighbouring tents truly had made your entire experience worth it.

So when Matty pulled you to a stop as you neared your respective tents; George’s laugh could be heard from where you had stopped and swept a piece of fallen hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek in his hand with a soft mutter of, “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Before leaning down and closing the gap between the two of you. You melted into him.

When his lips connected with yours; you immediately reciprocated his actions, allowing him to pull you in close and kiss you like you were the air he needed to breath. You weren’t entirely sure how long you were kissing in the middle of the campsite though but you pulled away giggling, beaming brightly when you saw Matty grinning back at you. Feeling brave you pushed yourself up to peck his lips again before pulling him towards your destination, past all his friends who were hooted and hollered when they caught onto to where you guys were off to but you didn’t care because you wanted reckless, you wanted to feel something, you wanted fun.

And ohhhh was Matty fun!

He was gentle in the way he brushed your hair from your face as you kissed down his stomach before pulling his already hard cock out. His grip tight in holding your hair in a ponytail so it was away from your face as you kissed the tip before licking a stripe underneath all the way from his balls until you enveloped the tip in your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks you took him in as he groaned underneath you, his moans encouraging you to continue as you let him continuously hit the back of your throat.

It wasn’t long before his grip tightened in your hair and he was cumming in your mouth; swallowing everything he gave you, you pulled off his cock with a pop before he was attacking your mouth with his own as he dived on top of you.

“God going to be thinking about your mouth for years sweetheart.” He mumbled against your skin before returning the favour.

2013

It had been a good several years since your last visit to Leeds Festival but thankfully it hadn’t been that long since you last saw the boys you met in the neighbouring tent during your first time there. After you packed up your tents the next morning you vowed to stay in touch with them, exchanging numbers with all the boys and promises of drinks when you were both home etc not really expecting much of it because they were teenage boys.

A hour after you returned home, your phone buzzed as messages flooded your inbox from Matty and George, Ross & Adam respectively although they weren’t as persistent as Matthew. You met up with Matty the next weekend, he drove up to see you in Manchester and you made out in the back of his car like the horny teenagers you were. You never slept with Matty during your brief time together but you both got very acquainted with one another on the couple of occasions you did meet up alone.

It wasn’t long after that you decided you were better off as friends and you didn’t mix business with pleasure again! Much to Matty’s disappoint after all he was a man and they only think with their cocks anyway. You continued being friends, you went to their gigs (even when you were the only one there), they visited you at uni, they celebrated your first big writing gig, you celebrated the release of their EPs. You celebrated everything together no matter how big or small.

You truly were the best of friends so when they rang you one afternoon whilst you were in the studio writing, you couldn’t even get out a “Guys you’re on a speaker, I’m just in the studio” before they were all screaming down the phone about their news that they had been asked to play at Leeds.

“That’s fucking insane! I’m so proud of you. Congratulations!”

“You have to be there babe! We can’t do this without you!” Matty screamed down the phone.

“Yeah we can’t play Leeds without our number one girl can we?” Ross’ voice could be heard next, at a normal decibel, obviously.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Is what you told them and you stuck to your word as you watched Matty pace nervously before they were about to step onstage to a large crowd of people eager to see them perform.

“Matty.” You called out for him as he chewed his thumb nail, ignoring you. “Matthew!” You raised your voice loud enough to get his attention finally on you, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been buzzing all week to finally perform at Leeds. What’s changed?”

“Nervous.”

Your heart stopped as you took your friend’s nervous appearance in as you stopped in front of him and grabbing both his hands in your own. “I’ve never known you to be nervous ever. These people are here to see you, they’ve chosen you over any other tent or stage. They want to see my four best friends because you’re fucking brilliant, okay?” You told him firmly, squeezing his hands supportively, hoping to get through to him.

“Okay.” He smiled softly at you.

“Now what can I do to help with these nerves of yours?”

You asked innocently (of course) but Matty’s eyes lit up; a smirk dancing across his pretty features before lowing his gaze to his crotch. Pulling your hands from his in disgust you looked at him disapprovingly. “Eww gross. I’m not blowing you!”

“Baby please.” He whined; nipping at your waist as he attempted to pull your body into his own and holding you against him.

Looking over your shoulder; you cast glance at the other boys who were watching the interaction. Hann rolled his eyes at you, Ross was shaking his head as he sunk back his beer. George merely smirked; shrugging his shoulders as if to say it wasn’t a bad idea.

“If it takes care of the nerves.” George spoke.

“Ohh I’ll blow all of you then shall I?” You sassed back.

“If you’re offering?” George grinned.

“G don’t be fucking gross. I’m not touching any of you!” You laughed shortly. “Just do some tequila and get out there before I leave before you get the chance to even pick up a pair of drumsticks!” You threatened.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stood side of stage and watched as the boys were belting out the tunes to an enthusiastically drunk crowd who were loving life. Ross turned to look at you during chocolate; a look of pure disbelief that the hundreds strong crowd knew every single word. You shook your head with a chuckle, teary eyes and a bright smile because you absolutely could believe they would know every single word because your boys were fucking brilliant and they deserved every single second of it.

As the set came to a close to a rapturous applause; Matty turned to catch your eye with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen before running towards you and jumping into your arms and gripping you so tight, you thought you’d be catapulted backwards if it wasn’t for Ross holding on to both of you. A high squeal leaving your lips as Matty assaulted your face with kisses like an excited puppy dog before pressing his lips to your own.

You were so proud of him you didn’t have it in you to scold him for it.

2019

The noise that came out of your mouth when the boys told you they had been asked to headline Leeds Fest 2019 can only be described as unhinged! Probably wishing they had told you over face time, Adam the unlucky sod who happened to be stood next to you the moment you found out and nearly had his arm ripped out the socket as you jumped up and down with pure excitement before pulling him into the biggest hug you could muster before jumping a top of George and pressing a lingering kiss to Ross’ cheek before you launched yourself at Matty and squeezing him so tight like it would be the last thing you ever did.

You partied hard that night, celebrating everything they had achieved in order to get to headlining that one place that you all held so dear to your hearts. They say people hold sentimental places that remind you of loved ones close to them, it just so happened that; that muddy field just outside of Leeds was what meant the most to the five of you because it’s where you found one another. It’s where you finally felt whole once they stumbled into your life.

So when Matty drunkly proclaimed “We’ve got to have you with us sweetheart! It’s tradition. You’re our good luck charm!” Loudly down your ear, whilst draping himself over your shoulder in an attempt to stay standing.

Not that you would say no but who were you to ever deny your best friend’s wishes. Especially when they were finally getting to do the one thing they told you they wanted to do together when you first met them all those years ago and the fact they wanted you by their side meant more than anything.

And here you were backstage at Leeds fest waiting for your best friends in the entire world to go and blow the socks off the festival. You were stood next to Matty who was fidgeting so much it was starting to concern you how nervous he actually was about the headlining slot. Slipping your spare hand into his; your other was wrapped around Ross’ as he conversed with Hann, you pulled away from the bassist so you could talk with the singer more privately.

Pulling Matty away from their crew; you took his hand softly, rubbing your thumb back and forth across the back of it in hopes of soothing his nerves. Matty didn’t say a word but he couldn’t stand still. You pulled on his hand tighter and towards you so you were in each other’s personal space.

“Darling what’s wrong?”

“Just fucking nervous. A lot of people out there.” His nervous chuckle reaching your ears before he started chewing on his thumb nail.

Slapping his hand away from his mouth, you pulled on both of his hands tightly and made sure that he was looking right at you as spoke.

“When has that ever stopped you going out their and being brilliant before, ehh? You have wanted this for so so long. For as long as I’ve known you. You deserve this so much babe, more than anyone else I know. Do you want to know a little secret?” You watched his curls bounce as he nodded at your words. “When I met you, you told me all about your plans for the band. Told me you were going to headline Leeds Fest one day and in that moment I knew that I liked the shit of you! Thought it was so hot that you were so driven and so passionate about something. And look at you now. Three number one albums. Biggest band in the world and about to do the one thing you told me you were going do when we met twelve years ago. All those people out there choose to come and see you because they love you. I love you.”

“You think I’m hot?”

“That’s what you took from that?” You rolled your eyes.

“It’s what I do best!” He shrugged; pulling you into his arms. “So you going to blow me after this too?” He whispered saying in your ear; as he hugged you tightly.

“You’re so fucking annoying!” You pulled out of his embrace, “You’d be fucking lucky Healy! I’m more likely to blow Hann than you again babe!” You threw him a smirk; so he knew you were joking about his best mate.

“Wait, who’s blowing Hann?” George asked; appearing with Ross and Hann with what could only be impeccable timing.

“Me! Told Healy I’m more likely to blow Hann after your performance than go near his cock again!” You told them casually with a shrug and throwing Adam a wink as the guitarist shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle. “Just a little pep talk and Matthew was being Matthew about the situation!”

“Well if you’re offering up blowies! I’m always down!” George threw his hand up like he was volunteering with a massive grin on his face as he nudged Adam in the ribs who also had a stupidly large grin on his face as they teased you.

“You’re all so fucking annoying which is why the only person I’d be considering to blow is Ross because currently he’s the only one with manners! Now fuck off and blow the socks off the fans!” You grinned; shoving them in the direction of the stage. Throwing your own arm around Ross’ waist, Matthew’s around your own as you all ascended on the stage, your heart pounding as you watched them walk out to rapturous applause. The feral screams growing louder between each song and you knew that you had never been prouder of anyone in your life than your best friend’s living their dreams.

2023

You had never loved George Daniel more than the day he turned round and introduced you to his new girlfriend because you gained a best for life in the absolutely wonderful and insanely beautiful Charli XCX. You loved her plain and simple! Never was a more selfless girl; you needed anything and she was by your side and offering you her hand, you needed a hype man she was the girl for the job or you just needed a little retail therapy and a bottle of wine, Charli would be at your door ready to go so when it was announced that she was going to be playing Leeds Festival just as the boys were about to embark on their new era. You knew you would be by her side cheering her on and going an absolute feral for that babe of woman! And when the boys were announced as the replacement headliners you could have burst!

Charli was set to perform her set just before the lads were so you knew your evening was going to be chaotic but you couldn’t wait but when she asked you to be by her side and during your favourite song. As flabbergasted as you were by the offer, you couldn’t really say no. When would you ever get the chance to perform at Leeds Festival again? Never!

But it was the way your best friends eyed you from side of stage; clad in an identical leather outfit to Charli’s that left nothing to the imagination. You felt a large calloused hand weave it’s way into your own and squeeze tightly, whispering a soft; “You’ve got this darling.” Before pressing a kiss to your temple just as Charli announced your entrance just as Rina’s verse of Beg For You was about to start.

“I want to introduce you to my best friend to the stage for the next song. She’s a bit shy so please be nice but she’s fucking incredible. Welcome to the stage y/n!”

What happened after you stepped on stage was all some sort of blur, you couldn’t really remember all that much apart from the video that Matty (and the rest of the band) recorded of you from the side of stage, the boys all screaming as you ran off stage and jumping into the nearest pair of arms, which just so happened to be Ross’. The adrenaline that coursed through you then seeped into watching the boys’ set and into the after party. Where you and Charli were necking back the tequila like it was water and had you dancing on the tables and grinding on anyone you could get your hands on.

Nobody was safe from you and Charli’s feral behaviour that evening as you celebrated your friend’s wins and that included your best friend who you had taken to making out with, pulling him into a several kisses that seemed to get more erotic as the night went on much to the shock and then immediate thrill of your friends as they squealed and cheered on your behaviour every single time like you weren’t potentially jeopardising fifteen years of friendship with Ross just because you were on a high and feeling a little giddy.

You were also a woman with eyes!

Something nobody was doing the morning after as you all travelled back to London with your tail between your legs and pounding headaches. Attempting to sleep it off on the drive home, you rested your head against Hann’s shoulder and tried to block out Matty’s talking, something that you were usually quite good at but to no avail when you felt like you were in about to slip into a tequila induced coma.

By the time you got back to London and to your respective locations; you felt yourself being nudged awake before being gently pulled away from Hann who sweetly pressed a kiss to the crown of your head as Ross got out of the van before pulling you sleepily into your apartment building. No words were exchanged between the two of you as he unlocked your shared apartment or whilst he made you both a cuppa. You couldn’t decide if it was because he was just as horrifically hungover as you or because of what transpired between the two of you the night before and didn’t know how to act around you now because you had well and truly fucked everything up.

You never spoke about it. Just carried on as normal just as you and Matty did fifteen years prior and you thought you had done a pretty good job at acting normal too. You carried on sharing your flat and cohabiting as if it didn’t happen and then he went off to America for the start of At Their Very Best. Then once you were reunited on his return home from tour you thought that everything would be fine but it seemed that your emotions or seemingly your hormones were supercharged and all the lingering touches and sweet exchanges that usually came with your relationship had all come to a head about two weeks before they were due to headline Leeds fest again.

Whilst the boys had been on tour and doing the festival circuit during the summer you had taken to dating again. You use the term dating very loosely you had been on a handful of dates with one guy, a producer friend of Charli’s. It had been a few weeks since you had seen him due to the busy nature of your careers but you were supposed to be heading on another date with him tomorrow and you were ready to take it to the next level.

Stood in front of your full length mirror you admired the intricate white lace of the lingerie that donned your tanned skin wondering if Patrick would like it or not when your bedroom door burst open. Not hearing his heavy footsteps approach as you stood in next to nothing; you jumped in fright, as an also topless Ross was now looking at you with a startled expression on his handsome face.

“Babe have you seen my favourite ju … jumper” He stuttered as he stopped and drunk in your appearance. “Ehhh why are you? Why ehhh? I mean why?” He was gesturing towards your lingerie clad body.

“I have a date tomorrow.” Your voice quiet but Ross heard it; your eyes just as wide as his when you took in his own appearance. Grey joggers, bare chest, hair tied up in a bun and the bastard cursive tattoo of your initial, that still makes your stomach flip every time you see it, etched into the skin near his left collarbone.

Ross simply nodded in response, not knowing what else to say. Noting that as his eyes travelled up your legs, over the tiny bit of delicate fabric that was covering your modesty, up to how your tits sat gloriously in the white lace, he noticed it. He noticed as you stood in the best set of lingerie he’d ever seen on anyone ever, that right there balancing in between your tits on a dainty gold chain was the necklace with a small ‘R’ on it.

Without another word said between the pair of you; he turned with a curt nod of his head without getting his answer knowing fine well that it would be somewhere in your room. But he had plenty of other jumpers he could wear. He just needed to just get out of there before he made a tit of himself. Heading straight back to his room across the hall, he paced his bedroom floor in hopes of getting the image of you stood in your underwear out of his head before he got a problem, not knowing that across the hall you were staring at his retreating figure unsure of what to do.

Picking up your phone you sent an apologetic text to Patrick to let him know the date was cancelled before chucking your phone amongst your pillows and marching across the hallway. Just as you reached up your arm to knock; Ross’ bedroom door was ripped off its hinges and stalling you, both of your chests heaving as you came face to face. Neither of you choosing to cover yourselves up in the moments you were apart.

Looking up at him; you caught sight of the gold chain he’d been wearing recently sitting against the chest hair that littered his toned chest before your eyes drifted to the left. Your heart tripling in speed knowing you were etched on his skin forever. Ross’s eyes immediately went back to your tits, not in a weird way even if they did look glorious in the white lace but the golden ‘R’ that sat between them.

Returning your gaze to his face; you weren’t entirely sure how long you were staring at each other before you surged towards one another in a flurry of pent up tension as you pawed at one another. Your hands immediately gripping at his hair at the nape of his neck, causing him to groan into your mouth. His hands gripping your ass as he pulls you flushed against him. Your mouths pressed together as you snogged like it was the last thing you guys would ever do before Ross was slamming his bedroom door and throwing you on the bed and staring at you like you were the best thing he had ever seen. And you were.

Your night of passion with Ross happened two weeks ago and whilst he had gone back to work leaving you at home and to do your own job. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. It was affecting your studio time and you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself. You brushed past one another briefly whilst he nipped home to quickly put a wash on in between packing again before heading to Reading and Leeds. But you didn’t speak to one another in the van on the way down. Opting to talk with George about a new track idea he had been thinking about and he wanted your opinion on how to set it up lyrically.

When you got to Reading. The boys were rushed off for a quick sound check whilst you milled about backstage, getting drinks and greeting over artists you knew from work so you didn’t really get the chance to to talk to him. Then they were on stage. Then it was the after party. Then you were hungover and telling a sad looking Matty that you weren’t sure you could make it due to a work thing and sending them all on their way as you tried not to cry at the sadness in your best friend’s eyes as he looked at you like a sad puppy from the car window with pout on his face.

As you were sat in your meeting about an important contract working with an incredible artist on her next album. You caught yourself completely zoned out and thinking about him again. Over the course of all the the times you found yourself thinking about your night with Ross over the past week; you tried to figure out if it was because it was just because the tension had finally snapped with living under close quarters again after your multiple kisses or because it quite literally the best sex you’ve ever had or because under all of that, it was your Ross.

Your Ross. Your sweet best friend who helped you out any and every situation that you found yourself in, the person who hyped you up and celebrated your wins with you, the person who surprised you with your initial tattooed onto his skin because he just loved you so much he wanted you with him forever. Who then turned round and told you he never wanted you to feel pressured to do the same so gifted you the most beautiful gold necklace with his own on, you’ve never taken it off.

The person who when he come home from tour; buys you flowers as a welcome home surprise and displays them on your dining room table. The person who buys you little nicknacks when he’s abroad because it reminds him of you and thinks you’d love it. As you let your brain mull over this information whilst your manager went over the boring bits of the deal, you realised he was your person and you needed to get Leeds and you needed to get up North to him now. Pulling the ‘emergency’ card, you left your manger to to take any important notes and you darted out of the building, texting your driver to meet you out the front asap before you were speeding out of London and heading to the place that started it all.

You raced up North to get to the festival and just about managing to get there in one piece. Flinging your weekend bag in their green room; you went to run back out when something caught your eye, Ross’ hoodie from the last night. Pulling it over your head; a complete dress on you and covering your own outfit, you quickly untucked you necklace so it proudly displayed on top, you ran towards the main stage as you heard end of your song as George’s launched into to The City. You had just about made it; as you weaved in and out of the crowds of people to get to the side of stage at lightening speed.

Squeezing through the bodies of the crew who were littered backstage you fell into step with Jamie who was filming the boys. Their manager quickly wrapped you up in a side hug with a large grin and a happy “Glad you could make it!” Before turning his attention back to the band.

George was the first person to notice you, sending you a quick wink as you blew him a kiss with a beaming smile. Ross was the next person to spot you; his eyes softening as he took in your appearance before Matty was excitedly shouting you out.

“Fucking knew you’d make it darling! This one is for you!” He announced as the intro to M.O.N.E.Y started up to more roars of noise.

It might have been pure accidental that you ended up next to a rowdy group of teenage boys on that August weekend in 2007. But my god are you happy you did! Not because they were the biggest band in the world but because the five of you had seen every single one of your wins and your losses, they championed you on every new endeavour and had your back through thick and thin. You didn’t care about Matty writing songs about your blowjob skills because you were happily screaming the words back to him now. You cared that he was happy, that they all were and they knew they were fucking loved.

Which you finally realised you did. You fucking loved your best friend and as Ross turned to look at you whilst doing his little two step whilst Matty serenaded the crowd with I’m in Love with You, he really took in your appearance. Thigh high boots and his black hoodie he wore to Reading last night that covered you like a dress and the bastard golden R that was sitting over the top of the neck of the jumper, your hand pressed over the top as you made eye contact with him and beaming brightly at him, he felt his heart skip and triple in speed. He needed to tell you and he needed to tell you now.

So the second About You finished and he had said goodbye to the crowd. He was throwing his bass at Joel and was marching straight towards you, grabbing you by the jaw and smashing his mouth against your own. Melting into his touch you kissed the bassist back as the rest of friends joined you.

“I love you.” Ross breathed out in between kisses.

“Ohhh thank fuck because I really fucking love you too!” You told him; pulling him back to your lips as you gripped on to hair at the bottom of his bun tightly as your boys hollered around you.

#the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fic #matty healy imagine #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald fic #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald #george daniel #george daniel fic #george daniel x reader #adam hann imagine #adam hann fic #adam hann x reader #adam hann #the 1975 x reader

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago

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Happy Saturday lovely Fandom :) We’ve reached my favorite episode of the season. I explained in detail to that ask I received about my fav eps why I love it so much. Great follow up to the previous episode. So much good content in this one. Married moments galore, growth, all the goodies. The name on this one is apt. Makes me breakdown every time I watch it. Let's get going.

4x09 Breakdown

First off imma need more Lucy/Genny scenes in S6. Their banter and bonding makes me so happy. Idk what Tim was expecting with these two together again. Of course they were going to bond more and chat. Get off track while doing so. Genny trying to reminisce about the house. Asking Tim if he remembers their mom used to make them pose for pics by that window? Lucy jumps in because why wouldn’t she? Joining in saying her mom did the same thing. The smile on Genny's face. She clearly enjoys Lucy's company. Probably thinking why isn't Tim dating her?

Tim doesn’t look amused by this at all. Even huffing a little bit. They continue on like he isn’t there. Talking about wrist corsages they had to wear. Genny saying 'Why was that ever a thing?' Tim cuts off memory lane. Stating they’re just here to fix this place up and sell it. That’s it. Lucy therapy mode is activated by this comment of course. Stating they’re closing an important chapter in their lives. They need closure by doing things like this. Reminiscing and such.

Tim being so very over this turns on the saw. Trying to drown her out saying ‘What? LOL Such a little shit ha I love him so much though. (So does Lucy heh) Lucy screams 'You need closure!' again despite him trying to drown her out. He screams again 'What?! 'She is so flirty when calls him an idiot. Mixture of exasperated and flirty. Like he’s her idiot and I love it sfm. Also let’s note this is clearly Lucy’s day off. How is she spending it?

Renovating Tim’s childhood home and bonding with his sister some more. Not soulmate behavior at all… It’s crazy just like in S2 you forget he’s dating Rachel. It’s the same in S4 only their bond is even stronger now. Where is Ashley is all this? Not here... Their married vibes are insanely high in this moment.

Tim’s exasperated face when she calls him an idiot haha Epitome of Sunshine x Grumpy. All in front to Genny too. Like Grey I’m sure she also knew long before they did. If you needed a future depiction of their marriage this is it. Sister in-law and all in the mix. This is so domestic I cannot stand it.

As they continue to tear down the wall Lucy is telling them how much she wanted a sibling. She begged her parents for one. Instead they got her a turtle ha. Not really the same thing... Saying it was cute but a little smelly. Then Genny comes in with the hilarious sibling slam. 'Cute and smelly sums up Tim’s teenage years' LOL Saying she didn’t miss much at all. Tim returns the sass in full above. The cute family bonding getting me all in my feels. Lucy is so happy to be apart of this.

Written all over her face. Future sister-in law bonding as well it’s so great. Unfortunately while they’re tearing down the wall they find a gun. Tim goes from light-hearted and fun to serious at the drop of a hat. Genny asks how long that could’ve been in there? Tim isn’t sure. That it’s hard to say. He shows Lucy that the serial number has been filed off. Lucy says they need to run ballistics. Tim nods agreeing with her completely. They're so damn in-sync and just a well oiled machine with work stuff. Just comes together so seamlessly.

Genny panics a little. Says they don’t actually think it was used in a crime do they? Tim lets her know it’s THEIR job to find out. Not just him THEIR. I love it. Genny is upset they’re leaving. Wondering if anyone else can handle this? Tim promises they’ll be back as soon as they can. Genny scoffs and says she knew he’d find an excuse to leave. Tim tells her this is serious. They have to go.

Genny doesn’t fight him and tells him to just go. Lucy’s face when Tim exits the room. She’s torn between comforting Genny and rushing after Tim. Naturally she goes after Tim. He needs her more and is clearly so upset. She’s worried about him so he takes precedence. It’s like an instinctual pull to him in that gif above.

You can tell she wants to stay to help Genny but Tim needs her more. Before we delve any further. Let’s talk about seeing Tim in jeans during this. Phew lord. Tall drink of sexy in tight blue jeans. I am here for it. Break me off a piece. Those biceps in that t-shirt too. Trying to kill me good sir. This man can make the simplest outfits sexy af. How does he do it? It's not fair to be this attractive.

Once Lucy catches up to him she says Genny has a point. He could call someone else to handle this. That he still can. Tim gives her a good company line. Saying 'How a good Sergeant doesn’t create work for his officers. Even on his day off.' Lucy of course isn’t buying what he’s selling. Knows this man better than anyone else. Asks if 'It’s not at all about the emotions this house is stirring up?'

Tim not wanting to deal with his emotions says ‘It’s just a house…’ How you acted all of 4x08 would contradict that statement my love. *sigh* Oh my poor Tim. Lucy hit the nail on the head and he doesn’t want to face it let alone deal with it. Lucy doesn’t press him any further. She knows her boundaries with him. That doesn’t erase the massive worry on her face though. If she could hug him right now she would.

We rejoin them at that station. First off how can two people exude so much chemistry just walking next to each other? Tall/Smol gloriousness. The little to no space between them as they walk together. Personal space? Never heard of her. That word is foreign to them and it makes me giddy. How Tim is drawn to her as they move. Looking like he’s reading the file. When really he’s just magnetically drawn to her. He physically can’t help it at this point.

I can’t get over Tim being in street clothes in the station. Mmm. Not only that but being in jeans plus his badge showing? My god I’m a puddle. This man is my undoing and I welcome it. *Ahem* Their dialogue here is married af. It’s so god damn natural I cannot stand it. Lucy being on it with ballistics. Saying she got it already. Tim comments that was fast. Lucy stating above how she achieved said fast results.

Forever love that silent communication they do. He doesn’t even need to say thank you. That cute little smile does it for him in the second gif. It’s his thank you and she reads it loud and clear. Her buying cookies just to expedite this case? Tell me your ship is in love without telling me they’re in love. Gah this ep is doing things to me. It’s like when you see a cute puppy and are overcome with cute aggression. I’m overcome with amazing cute ship aggression LMAO

Lucy gives him the details she has from the report. Saying the ballistics match a 25 year old murder. Someone named Frank Ochoa. Tim freezes and says he lived down the street from them. He also mentions he was 14 when he was murdered. Lucy continues on and says the investigation resulted in a botched home invasion. Tim replies they can rule that out now that they found the gun in their wall.

Lucy asks Tim if he remembers anything from that night? Tim tells her he had football game. His mom took him and Genny. When they got back it was crawling with cops. That his dad hated Frank. Lucy tells him he had an alibi. Frank’s wife. This incites Tim’s anger even more. Saying he was having an affair with her. She was no alibi.

His mom didn’t know but he did. Ugh. Poor Tim having to live with that. To protect his mother’s feelings by living with it. You can see the hurt on his face. The anger welling up inside of him. So much so when Lucy tries to theorize with him he just says I don’t know. So overcome with emotions of his past. I wanna hug him this entire episode.

This next section we see protective/worried Lucy come out. Honestly she’s present most of this episode tbh. She finds Tim in the hallway headed towards interrogation. Asking what he’s doing? Tim lets her know Monica Ochoa is in interrogation. That he’s going to get to the bottom of this. Lucy stops him right away. Knowing he will go in there like a raging bull full of emotions. Tim shoots back she’s his father’s alibi.

She has the answer to whether it was her or his dad that killed Frank. He's so antsy to have answers. His anxiety coming off him in massive waves. Luckily Lucy is well versed in the ways of Tim Bradford. Knows exactly how to handle this. She agrees but says he can’t be the one to question her. That he will have an immediate bias towards her. Lucy does what she does best. Tells him what he needs to hear. Saying he can’t be the one to do this.

They need to do this the right way if they're gonna tackle this together. The best part is he agrees and hands the file over to her. No fight in him at all. My damn heart. I'm bursting. The immense amount of growth in this man. Seeing her reasoning right away, handing it over knowing she’s right and trusts her to interrogate Monica. The levels of growth for them and Tim as a person are off the charts. I adore him pointing to her then handing the file right over. Not giving it a second thought that she is right. Not only is he trusting her to do this correctly. It’s a family matter he’s letting her handle.

I cannot emphasize enough how huge this is. How far we’ve come from where we started. It’s moments like this where we truly get to reap the reward of all the build up. How Tim ‘I don’t talk about my personal life’ Bradford is handing over the most personal thing he could to Lucy. Saying you’re right, I trust you, let’s do this. To have this guarded man hand the reins over to Lucy is colossal. That wall of his with her is in damn near ruin at this point.

Tim watches from observation as Lucy handles questioning. Monica is defensive right off the bat. Dodging all of Lucy’s questions. Lucy gets her back on track though. Has her recite what happened that night. She says she was over with Tom (Tim's father) doing her taxes. He was a CPA so she went to him for help. When she got home their house has been broken into. Found Frank’s body in kitchen. Lucy tries to poke at the affair a bit more. Trying to get her to admit to it.

Asking if she was with the Bradford’s a lot? If so we're the kids there? Did Tom leave the house at any point while helping her? Monica gets even more defensive and gets up to leave. Lucy isn’t able to keep her in the room much longer. Suspicious af behavior. Tim can’t stand her up and leaving. He confronts her in the hallway. It goes about as well as you’d expect. If you think she was defensive with Lucy amplify that by ten with Tim.

When she takes off Tim says she’s covering for him. Lucy says maybe…but they can’t prove that. For first time he’s not looking at something with cop eyes. Thankfully he has Lucy who is. He’s so determined to see this the way he wants to. To nail his dad for something. If he does it’ll be cathartic for him. Almost likes forcing his father to atone for all his sins with this one crime.

Tim goes to see his father and it’s hard to watch. Tim has tears in his eyes from the moment he steps into that room. All his pent up emotions barreling out of him. He tries to keep himself in check and it gets the best of him. You can hear the hurt in his voice as he speaks to his father. I know that hurt well. His father joking the nurses love him. But not enough to give him a shot of patron. Tim is so irritated with him. Annoyed he always finds people to take care of his even when he doesn’t deserve it. Tom asks him if has something on his mind?

Tim brings up finding the gun, Frank Ochoa, his wife. His father denies knowing her cause he’s awful. Tim letting him know he knew about the affair. He tries to deny it further and Tim lets him know he caught them when he was 13. His father finally giving in with an 'Oh crap.' Then Tim says something that breaks my heart. ‘For some reason I still don’t understand. I lied for you. Lied to mom.’ You can see how that ate at him to do so. He was too young for such a burden.

I think the reason he doesn't understand is he wanted his dad to be proud of him. It sounds messed up but I get it. Wanted him to praise him for something. Anything. Give him an 'Atta Boy.' I so understand that. You’d think the relationship I have my own parents their opinion would mean nothing. Now it does less so than it used to. But there’s still something deep down inside me wants them to be proud of me. Praise me. Say I did a good job. Instead of being disappointed.

It’s some crazy DNA thing with your parents. Where even if you’re on bad terms there is still part of you that wants that acceptance. When really it should be the other way around. Tim wanted his dad to recognize what he had done for him. Even now he wanted that and all he got was emotional abuse as his reply. Belittling him and calling him ‘Poor little Tim-Tim’ I bet you Tim was a very emotional sensitive child like me and he was shut down constantly like I was. Hence that nickname. Ugh. I hate his father so much. Tim asks why he did it? Ruining one family wasn’t enough for him?

His father gets out of bed. Tim tells him to get back in. His father being defiant knowing Tim won’t lay a hand. Says ‘Make me.’ Tim can’t even look him in the eye and his father tacks on ‘That’s what I thought.’ This hurts my soul watch. Feels like a glimpse into how things were for him growing up. Anytime Tim stood up for himself or Genny. This was probably the reaction he got. Him goading him into a reaction. Then when he didn’t get it belittling Tim was the next step for not doing so. *sigh* Seeing the emotional abuse in action is hard to swallow. I hate seeing Tim shrink like he does in his father's presence.

That strong confident man we’re all used to reduced in an instant due to his father. Breaks my damn heart. His father confesses to killing Frank. Goes after Tim some more and says screw him. Calling Tim mockingly a ‘big man’ for dragging him away from his death bed. Tim tells him ' This isn't over..' tears threatening to spill from his beautiful eyes. I wanna hug him so much. His father tells him to get the hell out. *heart clutch* When a parent cuts you down like that and you’re too stunned to really reply. It's a helpless feeling. The rage I feel is a culmination for him and what I’ve dealt with myself.

We return to Tim at the station. Ready to write his father up. Man on a mission really. Lucy comes over to talk to him. Tim word vomits all over her. Coming out faster than Lucy can get a word in. Asking her a favor and getting the DA contacted for him. Lucy finally is able to tell him to stop. Let’s him know she brought Monica back in while he was away. Tim is confused and asks why?

One of the two things I adore about this scene is Lucy’s initiative here. She knew from very jump how emotionally compromised he was. He only saw one narrative and ran with it. Blinding him to any other possibilities this case had. Lucy was the one with cop eyes for him. Brought Monica back in knowing she could get more out of her solo.

The second thing I love is once again is the personal growth from Tim. He doesn’t question her doing this. Isn't mad about it. Hears her logic and her telling him like it is like she does best. Letting him know his judgement was clouded. That Tim couldn't see past the version he wanted. Tim doesn’t disagree. At all. She took charge of this case and he’s not upset in the least. Just curious and asks her what she’s found? I’m just so proud of him. It’s not easy to work on yourself and he has so very much. It shows so much in moments like this.

We cut to Tim back at his dad’s room. There is a finality in the air as he walks in. Gives his dad that shot of patron he has been wanting. Like Tim is giving him little something to gain passage into talking him. To say how he’s really feeling. Calls his dad out on what really happened. What he learned from Lucy. Frank was beating Monica. She lost it one night and killed him. Ran to Tom cause she was terrified. He helped her stage the house.

His father goes off saying she deserves a medal for what she did. That he was an abusive brutal bastard. This where Eric should win all the awards. He is so masterful in his inflections, The emotion in his voice, The tears in his eyes, His facial expressions, Everything. How he calls his father out for being the exact same thing. His reaction is the same as my mother is anytime I bring up something from our childhood. Defensive saying they’re nothing like what you’re bringing up.

Being defensive because they know it’s true. Or so deluded they truly think they did no wrong. Not sure which one is worse tbh. Tom trying to take credit for who Tim became. That he turned him into a man. His reply is so so good. The deep emotion’s in his voice as he tells him off. Saying he became who he was despite him. Yeah you did babe. As did I with my parents. His final words an amazing slap to his father's face. ‘Goodbye dad. I hope it hurts.' I hope it does too.

I would like to say first I adore her coming to hospice with him. Knowing he would need it after confronting his father. Knowing him so well. He would never ask for her support directly. Lucy recognizing this and coming for this reason. He needed her and she knew it. She watches him emerge from his father’s room so distraught. Immediately asking if he’s ok? Lucy looks like she wants to cry the minute she see's him. He looks so broken and sad. Melissa and Eric are just incredible in this scene. That look of intense worry on her face. my heart.

Tim telling her right away he sure as hell isn’t. Divulging his feelings and showing how deeply hurt he is. That his father protected Monica. The way his voice breaks as he tells Lucy this. How his father never did anything to protect him and Genny. All he ever did was tear them down. Physically hurt Tim on top of emotionally damaging him for life. The pre-tears in his eyes when he says but he didn’t think twice for his mistress. Broke half a dozen laws for her...

His reply a mixture of incredible anger and deep hurt. Lucy updates him saying Monica is being processed now. That they probably won’t go after his father. Since he’s on his death bed. Tim is so drained and resigned at this point. Says 'It doesn’t matter. He will get judged soon enough..' The worry is still coming off Lucy in waves. She knows he’s holding something else back. Something that is still hurting him. She is just waiting for him to share it.

Lucy is pleading him with her eyes above to share it. It comes shortly after this. The line that circles us back to the one Lucy said toward the end of 4x08. The 'Tim Test' line she let slip. One that has been eating at him ever since. A thought that no doubt was destroying his mental health further. Adding to his overall anxiety about the connection between him and his father. Worried Lucy viewed him the same way as his father. That she associated his tests with training to the abuse his father put him through. It’s heartbreaking to watch Tim say this to her. Almost begging Lucy to relieve him of his hurt. His deep seated anxiety about this.

To alleviate him of the bottomless worry that she’s made an association between how he was abused and she was trained. NEEDING her to let him know they’re not the same. Because if they are it’ll destroy him. To think he hurt one of his favorite people because he was just like his father. It's not a thought he can handle. The fear in his eyes thinking he had done to her what his father had done to him is breaking him. Tim is unraveling at this point.

It’s the way his body language is defense and guarded as he speaks his lines above. Like he’s bracing for impact. Waiting for her to give into his deepest fears. He’s expecting the absolute worst due to his damaged past. Lucy with all the empathy in the world splayed across her face says ‘I know. You’re nothing like him…I...’ Too stunned to finish her sentence. She's hurting right along with him. Because she is seeing the load he's been carrying and wanting to relieve him of it so badly. She truly believe's he isn't like him. Needs him to know this.

I mean back in 1x04 when she defended Tim to Nolan. When she was at the height of her tests. She said he was 'Calculating not cruel.' Lucy not once believed that of him. Always saw his good heart from day one. You can see Tim take a step back from her in the first gif. His body innately trying to protect himself. He looks so broken I wanna cry. He so desperately wants her to assuage him of his fears.

Yet when she does he can’t believe the grace she is extending to him in this moment. The way he steps back instinctively. Like he isn’t sure he can trust this. That last bit of his wall holding him back in this moment. His gut instinct to retreat from having any emotions. Especially this openly with someone. Lucy can’t stand him pushing away when he’s hurting this badly. Doesn’t waste anymore time and encases him in her arms.

Rushing to not only reassure him but to comfort Tim on a physical level. Giving him the solace he didn’t even know he needed. She does this because if she doesn't she'll start crying herself. She has never seen him this vulnerable. This open and its making her emotional too. Lucy is wanting to absorb his pain, his fears and most of all put him back together. She does so with this beautiful embrace. His beautiful sunshine human wrapping him up in her arms is just what he needed. Pushing away his dark clouds with this hug. He is stiff at first with the initial contact then gives in fully below.

Hands down my favorite hug of all time because of the emotions that go with it. She then reassures him once again. 'You're nothing like him.' We watch Tim melt into her arms fully giving into the comfort she is providing. That wall she’s been chipping at since S1. That’s gone now. Utter rubble after this moment. Lucy validating him is everything his soul truly needed. His person confirming he was a good man. Tim’s body finally surrendering and sinking into her embrace once she spoke those words again. Reaffirming it for him.

Her opinion mattering the most. This moment screaming that in every way. Hearing this from her was EVERYTHING to him. Absolutely everything. I remember when I first watched this moment I was in awe of it. How perfectly he fit into the crook of her neck. Once again they fit together like a perfect puzzle piece. I also knew we were headed towards our endgame. This was our pre-getting together season. The emotional depth out of this episode alone I felt it. The hug solidified that gut feeling.

One of the many reasons why this is my favorite episode of the season. These are the moments I love so much because they’re developing emotionally, as characters and their relationship as a whole. It’s why they work so well in S5 when it finally happens. The bond, the growth, the things they went through together before they got together. It’s what created this amazing base they’re standing on now in s5 and what we will get in s6. I love their journey so much. Wouldn’t trade a single thing in this slow burn. Not one.

Tim shows back up at the house. Looks like Genny has done a lot do work solo. You see the guilt splayed all over his face. He apologizes for not helping out more. Genny tells him she’s used to cleaning up messes by herself…Tim apologizes again for that and says he knows she is. He wants to be a better big brother. Genny compliments him says he’s not that bad. When he’s around....

Tim tells her that’s all gonna change. He’s going to visit for every holiday and call twice a week, and he’ll handle fixing and selling this house. That she should get home to her family. Genny replies sweetly and says he’s her family too. I do love their scenes a lot. I need more of this in s6.

She has them make a deal. That they’ll do this together and be done with it. All of it. I love this so much. There is a lot I don’t love about my childhood. But the one thing I’m eternally grateful for is the relationship with my baby sister. You can’t beat that bond. I am so happy for Tim to have it. Her asking about the gun was too funny LOL I imagine he would tell her even if it’s awkward af.

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Gonna be honest didn’t care about anything else in this ep. Other than Tamara owning Smitty’s ass repeatedly in this ep haha

Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. Makes my heart happy. Shall see you all Monday with 4x10 :)

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digitalgate02 · 1 year ago

Text

The UPDATED (OG) Adventure universe’s Partnership double year math count

Updated Digimon Adventure OG Timeline’s Partnership Math Count List

Not particularly spoilers from the movie, just stuff stated by the official timeline from the pre-release stream for the movie in Japan (Oct 26)

Early 80s - Oikawa Yukio & Hida Hiroki make the first contact with the Digital World, befriend Pipimon (no partnerships)

1995 - Hikari and Taichi find a Koromon egg* (no partnerships)

1996 - 2 (Rui; someone else gets a digimon later in that year*)

1997 - 4 (Menoa)

1998 - 8 (Possibly the previous 5 mentioned from Adv’99 anime/novels)

1999 - 16 (Adv Eight, Meiko*)

2000 - 32 (Ken*)

2001 - 64 (Michael)

2002 - 128 (Daisuke, Miyako, Iori)

2003 - 256

2004 - 512

2005 - 1,024

2006 - 2,048

2007 - 4,096

2008 - 8,192

2009 - 16,384

2010 - 32,768

2011 - 65,536

2012 - 131,072

2013 - 262,144

2014 - 524,288

2015 - 1.048,576

2016 - 2.097,152

2017 - 4.194,304

2018 - 8.388,608

2019 - 16.777,216

2020 - 33.554,432

2021 - 67.108,864

2022 - 134.217,728

2023 - 268.435,456

2024 - 536.870,912

2025 - 1.073.741,824

2026 - 2.147.483,648

2027 - 4.294.967,296

2028 (02 Epilogue) - 8.589.934,592

↓ Original notes + "Why there's still no retcon of the lore" below ↓

First, the OG notes from the outdated post:

→ This count is not about “which was the very first digimon-human contact”, and yes about people with a digivice. Because if we were going to count who was the first human to have contact with a digimon, it’s actually two and they’re Oikawa Yukio and Iori’s dad, Hida Hiroki.

→ I’m ignoring all the inconsistencies with other material (WS & ▽) because they seem to not match well with the original count. So, in this case, Ken’s statement in the anime (Aug 2000) is the one to be accounted for here. I don’t know if Ryo counts as Chosen (possibly yes, judging by 02 flashbacks) but I’m not sure where to place him here.

→ I’m only adding Michael to the count, even if he’s not a main character and yes a side character, because 02 ep 14 had this statement regarding him. And I like Michael too so, let me have him there :V

→ Menoa states in the movie she met Morphomon when she was nine, and according to the Dash X novel version, she’s the same age as Taichi. Which means she became a Chosen in 1997.

→ I couldn’t think of how to include Maki & Daigo’s group in this because ▽ contradicts with the original lore’s math – The fact the Pt4 book released with the movie on Japanese theaters state them being in Elementary School the time they went to their adventure in the DW, and later the confession scene means they’re in University/College makes them possibly been Chosen Children way before 1995, and I’d take it granted that they were chosen by someone else IF weren’t for the Homeostasis being involved in the scene and the digivice being way too modern for that time (it was basically Taichi group’s model. If you look at Rui’s digivice in the leaked footage from DigiFes2022, his model seems to be different and an older version)

→ That said, Meiko is the only character in ▽ that does not fall into contradiction with the math count. Because in 1999 there was not only Taichi’s group, but also other 8 non-featured Chosen according to Kakudou’s notes. So we can consider Meiko one of those other 8 children.

→ When it comes to Wallace, I prefer to think he is game in the original math – Taichi and Hikari met that Koromon in 95, but they had no digivice until 1999. Which means it can be possible that Wallace had encountered Gummy-Choco’s egg before 1995 and only became an official Chosen Child later.

Now, the new notes:

→ To avoid spoiling any detail about the movie itself, I’ll make sure to tell you they might have changed how the math works only. It’s not like, “everyone gets a digimon at the same time” but rather… “A X number of people get partnered with a digimon in different periods of a year” – Which means yes, you can still count Rui and Ukkomon as the origins of the Digimon partnership, but that later in the same year someone else (or, say, Wallace in the main timeline) got a partner months later.

→ That said, I’m opting to update this list and work within the idea that various sources of partnership (Homeostasis, Holy Beasts, etc) can be counted in the math. Remember – Homeostasis (not referred to as this in the OG series but yes in the novels) had selected Taichi & co., but the Holy Beasts chose Dai-Miya-Iori. And some other entity probably chose Ken in August 2000. This could explain why there’s a higher number of partnerships happening at the same time in Adv’99 and 02.

→ As I mentioned before, and indirectly supported by the staff (check the official timeline at the top of the list), ▽ has violated the lore to the point it goes in direct conflict with the new 02 movie and the entire timeline. So I guess it’s better to consider ▽ as its own timeline/Alternate universe than forcing it into the main timeline.

→ That said, and since Meiko does exist in Kizuna/main timeline, I suppose Maki and Daigo also do exist, and maybe they got their “ages” retconned and down to something suitable to the universe’s math count. They can still be part of the previous five kids mentioned in Adv’99 anime/novels, but they are probably around their teen years, or even early 20s instead, not fully adults working for the government I suppose. Or alternatively, just not Chosen yet. Pick your favorite route, Maki/Daigo fans!!

→ Yes, the Koromon from the very first movie IS NOT THE SAME PARTNERED WITH TAICHI. This never was confirmed, and was just fandom's theory. Considering how ▽ also made this mistake and possibly was one of the lore's violation, I prefer to believe this means it's not the same Koromon/Agumon partnered with Taichi in Adv'99.

#digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digifood for thought #kizuna spoilers #02tb spoilers #ni's digitheories

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lskisms · 2 years ago

Text

YOU, AT LEAST, WERE BUILT TO GO, J. MILLER

. . . which is why you are able to be loved

synopsis — joel is getting older, he is getting frail, and you, still in your youth, have to come to terms with it. you just have to do so much sooner than you thought when he’s hurt during your attempt to escape the university of eastern colorado.

genres &&. warnings — angst, hurt/comfort, (post) apocalypse &&. canon compliant, spoilers for ep. 6 “kin” and ep. 7 “left behind,” contemplation of death, canon-typical violence (wound, gore, blood, wound care), age-gap (reader is in their mid-late 20s).

word count — 3.2k

note from r — title comes from the poem “elegy for my innocence” by steven dunn. i suppose i need to introduce myself a little: i’m rhi, i’m 22, and i’m in my second to last semester of college where i’m majoring in english. obvi, a big fan of the last of us, but also resident evil (which is what i’ve based my account aesthetic on, courtesy of my beloved leon s. kennedy). my ask box is open for people who want to send in asks and things. i’m really looking forward to writing for my fellow joel miller lovers.

if your parents were still alive, if they were around to see the life you’ve carved for yourself over the last few months, you’re certain your dad would want to smack the shit out of you and your mother would disown you from the family faster than you could blink.

you can hear the chastising now: a man old enough to be your father? are you joking? what the fuck is wrong with you? this is not what we meant when we told you we wanted you to start a family.

and you can’t fault them really. you are almost twenty years his senior, having been just a young child when the cordyceps outbreak decimated the world. if the world had stayed normal, if none of this had ever happened, you’d probably have a dead end corporate job that has you wanting to drop off the face of the earth at the end of every grueling day, married and going home to a man complacent and yielding in every aspect, never too sure of himself to assert any kind of dominance, stuck in his own dead end job that keeps you comfortable just enough.

but the world isn’t normal and it hasn’t been since 2003. and there’s nothing you can do about it. you feel like a child again, wholly the depiction of the angsty teen in dramas and romcoms, as you tell the ghosts of your parents that the heart wants what it wants and i can’t help that i fell in love with a man going starlight gray at his temples. it is wholly melodramatic, something that you would have seen in any number of teen dramas written by out-of-touch, old white men.

joel miller came into your life like a lone crimson leaf during the fall, sometime during your first few months at the boston quarantine zone. it wasn’t like he’d meant to because everything that man did and does is deliberate; he’d simply waltzed across your line of vision as you’d walked back to your apartment after a long day of doing menial chores, the new world equivalent of that mental-health-issue inducing corporate job that the older people of the zone talked about.

you’d heard of him, of course: joel miller, flown in from somewhere down south, a menace to anyone who crossed his path prior to his arrival in boston, a brother somewhere out in the midwest who had taken off and joined the fireflies. he was decidedly unapproachable, gruff and mean and stubborn. most people were more scared of him than they were of fedra for the simple fact that he was more deadly with his two bare hands than any fedra idiot (sorry, “soldier”) with a gun.

he wasn’t a person who you intended to mess around with, no matter how handsome you’d thought he was when you saw him that first time. but then you’d started hanging around with tess, one of very few people who had any kind of stable-enough connection with him and that had led to you meeting and hanging around with him too. tess invited you to go on runs with them, sneaking out of the zone at night to stretch your legs and look for supplies that fedra definitely had and refused to give up. she’d preached your capabilities to joel and, stubborn as he was, he’d allowed you to keep coming with them after the first time because you proved to be spry enough for things that he and tess had grown a little too old for: you were useful to him and that filled you with a kind of thrilling gratification.

by the time marlene had tasked your little trio with getting ellie out of the city, you were a year deep into your entanglement with joel where you did all the recreational talking and he was the one who made the deals with the fireflies, the fedra goons he had in his pocket, the people who had things to trade. it was a balance that worked well for you: joel was well-versed in persuasion when he wanted to be and you were seemingly the only person who could draw out the rare ghost of a smile or a laugh from him.

it was supposed to be a quick job, one that joel had insisted you sit out but you’d refused. just a quick round trip tpe thing, that’s what you’d said to him. we’ll be out and back before anybody even realizes we’re gone.

that had gone belly-up, of course, because anything that involved the fireflies had at least a 99% chance of not turning out the way anyone planned. and when you’d left the museum, you were down a friend and up a whole ton of miles. joel had tried to convince you again to leave, but once more you’d refused. tess died for us, joel. i’m in this until the end because i’m making sure her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.

and he’d let you stay. even months after that discussion, you think that he must feel at least a tiny bit grateful that you’d argued with him over it, that you’d fought to tag along. you’re an extra set of eyes, of hands, someone capable of taking over when he needs a break, which is hardly ever because he’s still as ornery as always, but knowing that there’s someone there who can must be nice enough.

and you’re glad he’d given in for once in his life because he’s dying beneath your hands and you’re not sure what to do. he’s going sallow and gray on the concrete floor of this ransacked house, breathing raspy and eyes slipping between you and some far-off point above him. joel is dying and for the first time ever since entering his life, you’re useless.

“joel, stay awake, please,” you beg, clutching at his hand as you kneel beside him. “ellie, you have to stop the bleeding.”

“i’m trying,” the young girl snaps. when she looks up, all you see is a girl who is reliving a loss, a deer caught in headlights, frenzied and terrified. her hands press the cloth harder over joel’s stomach in an attempt to staunch the blood flow and the man groans.

“leave,” he mumbles and your head snaps to look at him. he cannot possibly be saying this right now, not after everything you’ve been through. “leave. head north, go back to jackson. find tommy.”

“like hell we will,” you reply, trying to channel as much of his stubbornness as you can. you’d rather give up and drop dead right now than leave him to die alone in some fucking house in colorado. “we’re gonna fix this, joel. we’re not leaving, i’m not leaving.”

he’s slipping again, eyes glazing over. you can tell he wants to fight with you, but he’s losing the energy for it. for any of it. ellie stills and then tosses his jacket over him in a bid to keep him warm. she fixes you with a look, his look that says stay with him, so you nod solemnly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. you hear her footsteps on the stairs and only when the door shuts behind her do you finally let yourself break, weeping openly over joel’s chest, rising and falling so, so shallowly.

falling in love with this man has been something beautiful, some kind of phoenix rising from the ashes of a long-dead world. over the last few months, you have come to learn the feel of his knuckles brushing against yours, the warmth of his chest against your back when you share a sleeping bag, the sound of his soft breaths as you’ve trekked through miles upon miles of woods and abandoned highways. you have come to appreciate those things, facets of him that only you are privy to, the only person to know the weight of his arm over your waist and feel of his breath against your shoulder.

but in doing so, in reveling in the knowledge that you are the sole person to experience these hidden away pieces of joel miller, you’ve forgotten just how much older he is than you are. that misty gray at his temples and in his beard have been so permanent, you’ve started to believe that he’s always looked like this, that it’s not a marker of his age. you’ve forgotten that he is older and growing frailer by the day, conveniently forgotten how his heart stutters and how his knees act up after hours and miles of walking.

you had always known, of course, that joel would eventually leave you, but not this soon. and not like this.

maybe it’s your fault for putting him on a pedestal: the great, unstoppable joel miller. in your mind, he’s untouchable, some formidable opponent who people fear because he’s strong and knows his way around a fight. it shouldn’t be a chunk of a broken baseball bat that ends his life because it’s not fair, none of this is fair. you’ve been a fool for thinking that the three of you, your unlikely little family, would make it out of this unscathed, for believing that you could live a life like bill and frank’s after this all was over: fulfilling, safe, and the closest resemblance of before.

“god,” you whimper out, still brushing your fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “how could you even consider telling us to leave you here, joel?”

he gazes up at you, blinks slowly, the smallest signs of life that tell you he’s listening and wanting to fight you back about it.

“y’can’t leave me alone here, old man.” a short, wet laugh. “we’ve got so much left to do. i can’t get ellie back to jackson without you. i can’t do anything without you.”

he shakes his head in response and narrows those dark eyes of his just a bit. you read it for what it is: don’t you start talkin’ about yourself like that. he’s always been hard on you for not believing in yourself and your abilities, and it makes you laugh again.

“i mean really, joel. first man i’ve ever loved and you’re telling me to leave you here to die alone in fucking colorado.” you shake your head, looking away to try to blink back tears. “i can’t- i can’t just go. i need you alive.”

you can’t even stop yourself from babbling through the tears, brushing his hair back and wiping away his own tears. even though you should be desensitized to death and loss, you’ve always been particularly sensitive. but you’re young and this is your first love, your only shot at it, and he’s bleeding out on a cold floor because you were too focused on everything else that you hadn’t been able to stop him from getting hurt.

“ain’t your fault,” joel rasps out, eyes shining in the dull winter light. you realize you voiced that, a placing of responsibility that you’d meant for yourself and yourself only. “don’t do that.”

you stare at him and you know what’s going through that head of his. all kinds of thoughts that he wants to voice out loud: it’s not your fault and you were doing the best you could in the situation and this was going to happen sooner or later. damn pessimistic realist, always focusing on the worst possible outcomes than entertaining any kind of optimism.

and in a twisted turn of events, you start to think of your parents, long gone and relegated solely to memory, buried somewhere between atlanta and boston: an optimistic dad and an overwhelmingly realistic mother, so far on opposite ends of a spectrum that they complemented each other perfectly. your dad, ever the poet, had stolen poetry collections from every bookstore he’d came across during your treks from settlement to settlement. his favorite poem, by far, was about the death of a person’s innocence, something always meant to die eventually, perpetually blushing and always coming back a little less pristine each time.

you remember it now as you’re holding joel’s hand with your own, pressing his knuckles against the soft plush of your cheek. you, at least, were built to go, you hear your father’s voice say in your head, which is why you are able to be loved. you haven’t thought about this poem in years, not since you lost him to a runner somewhere in south carolina, but it feels sickening that you’re recalling it now as you’re watching your first and only love die under your hands.

and yet, somehow, it feels comforting, the idea that to be human is to know that one day, a loved one will die, but to know that is to cherish them better, to love them harder. you’re not at all okay with joel dying because you’ve had so little time to love him, but it helps you to cherish those few late nights more, to revel in the memory of his warmth enveloping you on particularly cold nights.

you can let me go. joel’s dark eyes are going glossy again and you smile knowingly at him, still crying. he’s not dead yet and there’s a possibility that he’ll make it out of this alive, the outcome that you’re praying to every god that has ever existed for. you can let me go; it won’t be easy, but you can do it.

ellie’s feet as loud on the old wood stairs as she comes barreling through the door and down the stairwell. she looks rabid as she all but throws herself onto the floor beside joel, ripping the tan coat back and pulling the soaked cloth away. joel’s wound is still gushing blood, a sure sign that he’s well on his way to death, but when ellie makes eye contact with you, you know for sure she’s found something to help. she holds up a needle and spool of thread; she must have torn the entire house apart looking for her hail mary and she found it, she fucking found it. she stares at you, eyes wide and face red, breathing hard, waiting for your go ahead.

when you finally nod at her, fresh tears in your eyes, you look down at joel. his fingers curl around your palm tighter and he’s staring back, his eyes wide. you laugh tearfully, totally and entirely stunned that ellie had actually found a way to help.

“you’re gonna be okay,” you weep, pressing his hand to your forehead, letting your tears drip into your lap. “you’re gonna be okay, joel. just hang on.”

the next few minutes crawl by cruelly, joel surely leaving bruises on your hand from gripping yours too hard, too tight, but you can’t even care because when his hand finally goes slack, ellie is done. her handiwork isn’t so bad and the bleeding has stopped for the most part. when you sigh, it feels like the weight of the world leaves your shoulders, a degree of relief you’ve never felt in your life.

joel, stubborn as always, is fighting unconsciousness as you turn to look back at him and you know it’s because he knows he’s not entirely out of the woods yet. there’s still bleeding to stop, a potential infection to fight, medicine you need to find to keep him safe and healthy, but this has to be good enough for now. it has to be because he’s joel miller and he’s mucked it through gunshot wounds and temporary deafness and all kinds of other shit the world has thrown at him.

ellie, clearly emotionally gone, stands, her dark eyes empty and her face void of everything save for exhaustion. without even looking at you, she turns towards the stairs and says to nobody, “going for a walk. i need a break.”

her footsteps echo in the stairwell and then creak overhead before she disappears out the front door, leaving you in an empty house with joel and the horse in the garage. you look back to joel, still holding his hand. his face, always so devoid of anything minus annoyance and anger, looks so relieved right now and it makes you want to cry again, but you’re shit out of saline. you lay his hand down beside him before you tuck his winter coat back over him, up to the chin.

there’s not much that you can say, no thoughts come to mind. nothing more than i love you, but you want to save those for when he’s safely out of the thick of this. as true as they are, it’s not the right time, but you’re sure he knows. he must when he scoots his hand out from under the coat and nudges it against your thigh, some gesture that you can’t decode, but that you understand as i’m still here, like he’s able to read your mind. you smile at him softly.

i’ll tell him when this is all over, you reason with yourself as you move to lay beside him, exhaustion finally overtaking you. wherever we end up after ellie is safe with the fireflies, i’ll tell him and he’ll say it back and we’ll be okay.

he can’t turn onto his side, but he turns his head to face you, looking every bit the age of fifty. his eyes are tired and the crinkles of his skin run deep, his cheeks and chin dusted gray. this close, you can see every pock mark, the dip of skin at his temple from some long-forgotten cut, the deep scar that mars the space between his eyebrows. his defenses are down and he looks his age, for the first time in a long time because it’s so easy to forget how old he is when he’s doing the things he does to protect you and ellie.

you scoot in as far as you’ll allow yourself, knees knocking against his legs and your head pillowed on the arm underneath you. you raise a hand and rest it on his cheek, a touch he immediately leans into, like your palm was made to caress his skin. as far as you care, it was. he tilts his head towards you and you find yourself doing the same, foreheads touching. this is one of the small gestures joel allows you on most days, but right now, it feels more monumental than that. like always, it’s a moment shared singularly between the two of you, but it carries so much more weight because he gazes at you with so much more softness and love than he’s ever let himself show before and it reminds you that underneath all that rough exterior, he is a man capable of gentle touches and adoration, no matter how many times the world and himself have tried to beat it out of him.

as his breathing slows, but deepens (a sure sign that ellie has mended the problem for now), you move your arm to rest on his torso, hand pressed into the sturdy spot just above his heart. the beat is steady, solid, a reminder that he’s okay. he was built to go, but now more than ever, you feel he was also built to be yours, to be loved by you. and you’ll make sure he makes it through this, no matter the cost.

(c) lskisms, 2023. do not repost, translate, or otherwise plagiarize my work. the only official versions of my work are available on tumblr and ao3 under the name lskisms.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #pedro pascal fic #tlou x reader #.lskisms #.joel #.tlou

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