#(i did it!!! fuck my internet tho)
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okay voice reveal (ftr my friend, Goggles, he's a gem ty again bud)
(sorry for the bad English and a gazillion mistake on the subtitle- which isn't a subtitle but more like correcting what I say so it makes sense, also the video had to be cropped cuz i forgot tumblr video limit is 10 mins and my final product was 13min so yeah-) extra notes from the video:
i swear i dont sound this bad with words when Im speaking casually KJSHAFKGDJ ((i was hella nervous and was on 4 hours of sleep))
the sped up part: Raven developed a fear of flowers due to her captivity in one of her missions back then, this is because during her time trapped in a room from an abandoned kindergarten all she sees was old wallpapers of Sunflowers, which felt mocking because yk how sunflowers all bright and mean happiness? yeah she was feeling far from it. The experience went beyond just sunflowers over the years and she sort of developed a fear to all kinds of flowers since she never really quite healed this part of her
the last main canon doodle I did for them
the audio that I referenced in the video about "nothing"
also, my profile is from this wip shared by Alec on twt (I've been using it since then cuz it's so goofy)
I overlay my discord voice call recording on the drawing images and mask the images, hence the effect of the decorations pulsing around my profile as we speak
there was more to this video (me talking about AUs) but my laptop's gonna explode if im gonna continue editing so this is it LOL
the "G Podcast" was a joke made before the actual recording because both me and my friend's name starts with "G", and since we're only recording the call it felt like a podcast
#disabled reblogs BECAUSE IM SHY#even tho its out in the internet now and yep it's#it's out there now welp#idk what accent mine is its like mix chinglish but not really#idk if any malaysians can relate LMAO having to speak 4 languages for years kinda fucked up my accent#uhhhh hope yall enjoyed this#did i sound like what you imagined? lmk in the comments (be nice)#AKSJDH#im not doing this again LMFAO#gummmyspeaks
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god i finally watched new episodes my honest reaction is jgiwoaoKzmxmkwkakkak
#it kinda doesnt feel real for me idk why#like i do not actually process all of it??#tho I DO have ideas and thinking i did pay attention#maybe i've just had a wild day i guess#but also oh god vex'ahlia broke my heart#twice#first time were when scanlan was talking how he couldn't be at two places at the same time to help 'em and she said nobody gives a fuck#i feel so bad for scanlan rn i love him#haven't watched campaing to the bard's lament yet but oh fuck im too spoiled i do know what happens where (a little bit)#the second time was when she said she really cares for percy i started crying at that moment#also im a lil bit disappointed cuz i thought we would get percys death and vex's spech but we got “i open the door completly naked” scene ->#and im very happy we got it like oh wow i didn't expect that#but idk im just a girl and i love percahlia's slowburn#since i watched 64 eps of actual campaign it become hard for me to not compare campaign and tlovm cuz obviosly its very different#but with percahlia in tlovm we don't have hours and hours of campaign context#(we don't have percy making her arrows)#and i understand why cuz 100+ streams 3+ hours each is one thing and animated series with 12 eps of 25 minutes is another#but as i said previosly it is very hard for me to not compare it#by the way i do think changes in tlovm make sense#cuz like?? i think vex is more sharpy in tlovm than in campaign?? like#like she punced scanlan in first season and in campaign they are kinda good friends and i really love them??#*punched#and i think she's more ?? bossy i guess?? idk how to put it into words but in my head it makes sense “i open the door completly naked” ->#goes earlier than “i shouldve told you its yours” cuz shes playing pretend even more than in campaign???#acts like its casual when its actually isnt AT ALL#and im glad percy said “what is it i want” to vex cuz its kinda like that scene in campaign when percy talked to vax#when he called them all family for the first time and said he's trying to find what he wants in life#i love percy and vax dynamic btw#i wanted to write even more here but apparently i can do only 30 tags wtf#they want me to actually write posts oh no. hate to put it all in tags but im too nervous abt posting on the internet
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melissa barrera as sam
scream vi (2023) dir. matt bettinelli-olpin, tyler gillett
#sam carpenter#samantha carpenter#samcarpenteredit#scream vi#screamedit#scream 6#screaivi#scream vi (2023)#scream 2023#melissa barrera#melissabarreraedit#blood tw#flashing gif#by me#for... reasons#for.... a lot of reasons.....#you know when... her face do... the thing. yeah yeah.gif#(i did it!!! fuck my internet tho)
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not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER
#i hated her to an unhealthy amount imma be so real#bc ive never done an internet sin of like shittalking outside of priv accs/dms#or interacting anonymously with people i hate etc etc#but there are things that are like corruptions for your own soul from how sour hatred can get#and she did that to me. and i only hated her enough to do that#i have only ever in my life actively hatestalked her blog when i was 14 bc she made me so fucking mad everyday#ive only ever in my life hatestalked her like shes the only reason i can comprehend why people are compelled to hatestalk#this was all back when i was like 14 tho lol and#ugh... im sorry. as you can tell the hatred i feel towards her is like soul corrupting level#i want to say im sure she has grown up to be a fine person and logically i know this is true#but also part of me is like there is no fucking way this bitch grew up to be a fine person like the lobotomy part of my brain is saying that#i will not tell you who she is btw so dont send me an ask begging for the user#and if for some reason you have a hunch who it is. you never know you could be wrong and even if youre not i dont condone harassment towards#her or like yknow just any association like leave her tf alone#i dont have fans who love me enough or are crazy parasocial to harass someone i personally hate/hated#but still just in case#shes not an actual bad person. i just hate her so much that it makes ME a bad person on the inside#its why im so glad that i turned 15 and went i need to stop looking at her forever or else i will reincarnate as a mosquito#ill only talk to u abt her if we are at least acquatiances with eachother#and i dont think anybody will be able to figure out who she is actually bc i never once was mean to her outside of telling my close friends#i wanted her dead. me when i dont act like a beast online despite the vietnamese devil inside me
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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I CANT BELIEVE I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE DAN AND PHIL
#I DID THIS FOR THE 13 YEAR OLD MEEEEEE FR ❤❤❤❤❤#i did spend nearly 70 euros. haha#original plan was 50 euros :))) but i went yolo tbh#and i got a scholarship. nothing to feel guilty abt. fr!#one time chance like im doing something like this for the first time in my lifeeeee#it's soooo exciting GONNA SEE MY INTERNET DADSSSSSS#it's probably one of the best one time expenses ever. for me#and it will literally be my 2nd week in sweden snsmsnjenenrjekmwmejdjfjfjfjsjs#it's insane!!!@ the layers of this excitement!!!#first of all i will be living in SWEDEN soon and then it will take only like 1 hour to get to fucking COPENHAGEN#where i will GO and see DAN AND PHIL yippieeeeeee#was it a mistake to not buy the cheapest ticket tho. let's not dwell on that <3#bro <33333 it's fine it's okkkayyyy#finally i get to experience exciting events. YAY#my posts#phan
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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this is the funniest form of art theft i've ever experienced
#i searched my name on twitter just for funsies and these came up lol#i should probably report them but they're bot accounts with like 2 followers and 0 likes. and they're funny#where the fuck did they get coffee from tho#did the bot see the word drip and think ah yes coffee art#guys im quitting the internet to become a full time coffee artist. dont hmu
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Very amused that people who don't know me at all read apparently half of what I posted earlier on I/P and decided my take that "I don't support any nation state and think we should do away with all of them but since this is the system we currently have it's decidedly antisemitic to single out Israel as The One To Destroy Above All Others and we should instead support peace and safety for both Israelis and Palestinians" is equivalent to "genocide is good actually." Like I know this is tumblr, aka the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website but also like, idk, maybe learn to read before yelling at random people online and accusing them of supporting genocide? Also for the record, it's *really fucking weird and antisemitic* to yell at random Jews on the internet and accuse them of supporting genocide because they have Opinions You Personally Disagree With.
You can, in fact, simply block people who's takes you don't like. It's free! And easy! You hit the three dots at the top of the post, it opens a drop down menu and you select "block". Now the person who you think has Bad and Evil Opinions™️ will never show up in tags for you again! Problem solved! They might, unfortunately, show up on your dashboard if someone you follow reblogs something they posted or added to, because tumblr is slightly broken in that regard, but you will be saved from their opinions in tags. And they won't be able to interact with you! And there's even a handy feature you can use to hide *all* content they've ever made/posted, even stuff you're dearly beloved mutual who thinks they're cool reblogs. You just, blacklist the username. Now they will show up as filtered content and you have to manually unhide any post that mentions their username in any way, saving you from the Opinions You Don't Like. And they're free to continue *their* internet experience without you yelling at them for tagging things with something that is a general filter/sort/information tag simply because *you* think their opinions are Bad and Don't Belong There.
#look i know i stepped in it by making a post about i/p at all#let alone by actually tagging it#but i really don't appreciate the fact that someone fucking yelled at me#for the crime of *checks notes*#tagging my i/p 'palestine'#like oh my bad for using the tumblr tagging system correctly i guess???#sorry i wanted mutuals who have the tags 'israel' + 'palestine' blacklisted#so they can choose when/how they want to engage with upsetting & potentially triggering content#the actually ability to chose???#like i'm very bad at tagging reblogs generally#but i try to tag any original posts that might be upsetting or triggering correctly#bc people use filters & blacklists & i don't want to be the reason those don't work!#i haven't had posts that gained notes quickly in years so uh that was a 'fun' experience this morning i guess#definitely a different brand of hate than the autism posts used to get#tho i did get some uh interesting anon hate back in the day#can't wait to see what being openly jewish on the internet brings *there*#(narrator voice: he could indeed wait & dearly hopes people will be normal about this)#antisemitism
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boys horrible news I think I developed a fucking terrorism hyperfixation, FOR FUCKS SAKE I CANNOT BE NORMAL CAN I????
well might as well make use of this, I've already been doing archival and research into this stuff for like the last 3 months anyway. at some point it's gonna be some sorta useful I guess.
ughtghhggh why, WHY.
#-pop#I have been rotating motherfucking internet history and the rise of terroristic attacks for like the past few days#horrible news I'm pretty sure old web had a very big following of straight up death cults or at least a type of ideaolgy that lead to-#death cults/religions which lead to some forms of terrorism. very niche type tho#more I learn about this shit the more I start to have horrible Dès Vu about things#so uh. 0^0 bad#anyway foresight is 20/20 I have been in alot of extremist factions and never fucking realised#oh my god how did I get so far in this life without getting unironically doxxed or attacked. by those factions
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11:23
I'm a damn leech. That's all I am
#audrey/kellie's rambles#audrey/kellie vents#dont mind me#im a leech. im a bug. disgusting. im too much to bare. others in the community talk to each other and yet rarely me#i try to talk witj them. maybe im just not that ... good with my ocs. maybe thats why they never ask. maybe-#im too fucking clingy. im too obsessive. im too moody. im fucking crazy.....#I'll just be here tho. i wonder why no one really talks to me. outside of the internet and in of the internet too#but maybe that means im too fucking annoying for something. bjt then again they have a life and its not sll about me. and my long ass asks#they should be sble to live their life. and yet here i am. getting jealous fucking jealous that my friends are talking to each other#its stupid. i shouldn't be like this. its fucking stupid to he jealous of my friends talking to each other. but it seems like i only#see them as my friends or maybe its because i said smth about my school. and then they leave me alone. but theyve.. always left me alone#always. always a shadow. always actually reminding me that im a bad fucking person. always to be there because...#honestly it has to be me. right? im the damn problem. thay dont talk to me. yet i talk to them endlessly. like they are already gone or smth#i suck at being friends. because this is who i am. some possessive fucking freak. i really should. choked myself with some wires.......#this is just reminding me that my twin is more better and more interesting then who i wanted to be hack then when i was on Amino.#even back then they didn't care for me. now its like its the same but much worse. because-#i hate it. i hate feeling lonely. what the fuck. give me fucking validation. give me attention. give me love.#give me any fucking kind of attention. hate on me. spit on me. kick my legs. i dont. i just want attention. i want to be the center of it#all. but im not and it fucking kills me. i want it so bad. and honestly? i did. for a fraction. because of Flor and my other past ideas#and Flor was a bit of a self insert. she was a sona. in a way. and now Yume will be one too. but-#fucking. don't fucking talk to me. i need to work on his draft
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Ichi can be a bit of an entomologist me thinks. As a treat
#snap chats#amidst my walk my mom called me but she also hung up before the caller id could pop up ?????#accidental call probably but still its stressing me out and my nights ruined so im distracting myself#i was thinking about my weird knowledge on bugs and plants and came to the conclusion to blame videogames#animal crossing and viva pinata had me knowing the most Random Shit someone tell me why so many bugs are named after royalty#did you know the monarch butterfly was named after prince william of orange... wow...#fr im even blaming zelda cause agitha from TP had THE BEST aesthetic and she was so cute#anyway i just think ichi should be in the know about bugs :) not purely FROM games of course#all the games i mentioned came out while he was in prison..#me thinks it should just be a case of seeing that shit in the wild and going ‘the fuck is that’#and then going to the library or something. hard to imagine him at the library tho..#naybe when hes out of prison and starts bug catching again and then its like ‘dude wait i got the whole internet in my hands what is this’#and now he has a million bug facts in his dome he’s gonna spring onto everyone he knows at inappropriate times
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BTS for your fave passage from your new nate/jo por favor?
IDK if I have 1 passage that's my favorite for it tbh? the part I'm proudest of is the part after Nate presses pause, mostly because I worked really hard on it- how to get Jo to be just a little nervous about it, but mostly proud of Nate speaking up and not trying to talk over his feelings, but wanting to explain what he was trying to do. I think I threw away the original notes, but I think i just, cut out a whole section, had Nate say "I didn't like that, it felt icky." and then had Jo be like "oh. thanks for stopping that, i don't want you to feel like that. can i explain what i was going for?" while they're BOTH giving so much physical reassurance that they're both like. good and here and want to be there.
it's probably one of those scenes that reads like "he would not fucking say that" but idk, sometimes you just gotta write the healthy(ish) relationships you wanna see in the world.
also, one of the things i also enjoyed was like. Getting Nate to take naps. Even though he doesn't do it before games, he does take several naps in this fic. Because I looked at his face before the VGK game and went "this is a skeleton, this is bones. I want to feed him a sandwich and smother him to death with a pillow (force him to rest)" and yeah. sometimes you also have to write the naps you want to see in the world.
#!!! thank you for asking#i feel kinda bad bc like even tho this fic took me like a week to write it really did just. mostly line itself out#once i'd gotten the major beats It was pretty smooth sailing it was a) having the internet AND motivation to write it#and b) fucking writing it#there was also a part where my beta laughed at me for saying “sad news” instead of bad news and i was like ... it's SAD news#and they were like “don't you fucking change it. it's so funny. it's perfect”#a brief excerpt of me and my beta yelling at each other: beta: get loved idiot. me: GET CARED FOR
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in an act of extreme depression and also the extreme urge not to go and do something irrational and stupid to myself, i have decided to revive my laptop and sign into tumblr for the first time in eons yet again, only to discover upon trying to edit something on my blog that now you have to email support for javascript capabilities
i will always have a bittersweet hate-love relationship with this website, literally always because what the fuck
#on that note#i guess i will log into everything else that im not logged into such as twitter discord emails and such#i really did manage to die off from the internet and talk to literally nobody except text messaging my toxic fucking ex/boyfriend/idfk what#im always in a bad situation tho which kills me n gives me major depression even more lol#no thanks to him either and for some reason i keep putting up w it#no self respect ig#or i guess i have too much hope and not much to lose besides myself? idfk#he keeps fucking me over n never stopped for 4 years#now im trying for therapy for him#why? because i dont love myself ig LMAO#but hey maybe itll work out and this can go from abusive to healthy#who fucking knows#a rarity i know but i got NOTHING else going for me#jobs have been hard to come by since i was laid off in december last year#and i have been depressed#and i moved 340404095458 times already#and life sucks and i cry all the time lols#and i have a hard time staying in touch with friends because i also suck#but thats been my life since i was 19 tho#thats why i dont talk to literally anybody i guess#and only him through text#fmldjfapsodfijapsdojfdsf fmllll#anyway it brought me here and i did move away from him again so maybe thats a step in the right direction#im delusional idfk#help me hahahaha#voxxrambles
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Did some apartment unfucking
Done in a very stressed hour and a half
But it is done.
#speculation nation#the bedroom is a front i just shoved a bunch of shit in a box and into corners so that it wasnt visible from the door#Actual bedroom unfuckening will be done later. i do want to get it genuine clean. just not now.#it really is kind of crazy having less shit Everywhere. it's good though. it's very good.#i have a killer kind of headache tho 😭#contemplating buying delivery as a reward for getting this done...#i wanted to do laundry today but that was just too much fuckin stress#oh yeah. the showing did happen but it was brief & i overheard the guide say that this unit isnt available anymore#and they sent me the lease in the email!!!#i read thru it and it's overall the same as before. aside from internet being included too. and also rent going up lol#god. rent next year will be an entire 50% more than when i first moved in. these market price increases are Insane.#but yeah i still have to actually sign it. i need to chill some first tho. and try to get rid of this fucking headache.#too much stress. too much focus. my brain does not like it lol
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me seeing the influx in followers from entering the LMK fandom knowing my old art from the past 5 years is sitting on my blog
#shut up littiaye#my goal this year is not to cringe but kill the part of me that cringes#it is very hard#the miraculous era of my blog was BRUTAL but when phantom savage did that comic dub of my art i felt like i fucking made it LMAO#its interesting for ME to see how my art evolved but i hate knowing the internet can see it too#but it happened and thats what makes it so beautiful#im burning this place down when i die tho lmao
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