#(i am visiting my mom)
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Love when i ask M for a picture of pip and she sends me things like this
#was hoping for a cute one. but ok!!!!#(i am visiting my mom)#pip#5 years#please don't see the stuff everywhere we are working on it 🙏
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The fact that Briar is listed as one of Rosabella's best friends in her profile but Briar's profile barely mentions her..
#oh they could be so angsty if mattel hadn't forgotten that they were related#i'm sure someone's said this before but whatever i think abt it too often#and yes ik rosabella is mentioned among briar's friends later but it's abt proximity ok#this is also partially bc mattel refused to give rosabella fleshed out characterisation and other friends#but i'm ignoring that too bc the angst potential of this is so much more fun#ever after high#eah#briar beauty#rosabella beauty#like rosabella constantly protesting bc she cares that much and her friends forgetting#and then her profile#idk something abt her always caring too much and it making her come off as overly sensitive#vs other ppl thinking she's a bit out there#am i projecting? possibly BUT SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS IM ALLOWED TO#also briar probably has a hella weird relationship w her aunt and i need to see them in a room together#especially after briar goes off script cause her parents wouldn't have ever been ok w that#but her aunt? who's supposed to love everyone no matter what? who briar is probably super distant towards cause it's implied her mom#doesn't get along w her sister? oh u just know they both cried when she visited that day#n e way been meaning to make this post for a while and keep forgetting so
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Fluent Freshman - Part 12
PREVIOUS
If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.
You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.
You are correct.
That is why FF loves it.
It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.
It’s like a breath of fresh air!
Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!
Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!
So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.
He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.
Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.
It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.
There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.
The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.
He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.
He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.
But FF doesn’t care about that.
He cares about HIS downfall.
So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.
Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.
It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)
It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.
So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.
So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.
While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.
He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.
He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .
He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?
FF.
FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.
The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)
After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.
He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.
He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.
“Smith?”
He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.
He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.
FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.
FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.
Captain Neil blinks at him.
“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.
“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.
Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.
***
FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.
FF isn’t a big text person.
He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.
Neil likes that about him most of the time.
“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.
“Smith isn’t on the couch.”
That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.
Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.
But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)
Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.
“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.
“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.
“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.
“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.
“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.
Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.
Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.
“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.
FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.
FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.
“I’m fine.” FF repeats.
Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.
They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.
It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.
Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.
FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.
FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.
“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.
FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.
“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.
FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.
“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.
Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.
***
FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.
He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.
FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.
His dreams are not peaceful.
He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.
He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.
FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.
“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”
Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.
NEXT
Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES (closed)
Per Your Requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)
#Fluent Freshman AU#Did Andrew watch FF sleep for an hour to make sure he actually got some sleep?#Yes#Did Andrew find the 2 five hour energies and throw them out while putting the money FF spent on them in his wallet?#Also Yes#Nicky wakes up and remembers that he promised FF that he could sleep in his room#So he is trying to make it up to FF with smiley face breakfast#FF's love of Black Friday mirrors my own#Do I like the deals? Eh. Do I like the barely concealed threat of violence? YEAH BABY#We go visit my Fam in Ohio for Thanksgiving and then me my mom and my aunt make a battle plan#Mom's on grabbing duty since she's tall while my Aunt and I are on protection detail#I got a black eye one year but the Xbox 360 was worth it for Tales of Vesperia#then we get IHOP#I miss when it started at like 5 AM#Now it just starts on Thanksgiving which is bullshit#I ain't moving from my turkey coma#AFTG Fic#AFTG#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG Shitpost#Andreil#FF - Pt. 12
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most of all i hate the govt for letting everyone in our parents generation drink lead contaminated water so that i (uncontaminated) have to deal with my parents and in laws completely insane unhinged detached from reality decision making and thought processes
#im not being mean they are fucking insane#my mom asking me to drag my toddler across the ocean in a 20 hour plane ride and complete time flip to attend a wedding#and this is only a few weeks after im supposed to move my entire family and all my things across the country??? are you out of your fucking#meanwhile my mother in law is like hey can you drive your toddler 6 hours in one day to see me for an hour so i can show off my grandkid in#front of my fuckass bitch family who is in town for god knows what#are you both out of your minds???? what the fuck is wrong with you all??????????????????#fuck!!#imagine being so selfish that you don’t even see how unreasonable all this is lol like yeah im gonna put my toddler through all this when#nobody’s visiting her or calling to ask how she is she’s not a fucking accessory or a pet she is a person#fuck the world#also my parents put me through so much as a kid to visit people and travel and i was miserable I am NOT putting her through that too#they are useless#fuck the govt fuck the boomers fuck the world goodbye
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kick me off tumblr if you see me liking shit! I need to clean my apartment.
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Needed something to do last night bc I couldn't sleep, and spinning takes about a million times less brain power than knitting or crochet, so now I'm working on this.
Its from a 2.8 ounce batt that I had labeled southdown Romney blend, and I'm 99% sure that what I was told it was when I bought it (I remember thinking how much I love a good southdown blend), but when I finally unrolled the batt last night it had a label that said Suffolk hampshire blend. I think that's what this is--it feels 100% down breed rather than a down and strong wool blend. Honestly I probably still would have bought it as a hampshire blend, so I don't mind that much.
No clue what to do with it. It's not soft but the prep wouldn't do for socks, which is my usual idea for coarse down wool. It's also got a much darker section that I've been trying to decide how to feature (if it's worth doing at all).
#Supported spindle#Supported spinning#Hampshire#Suffolk#Super bad painsomnia last night n then it's finally morning#And as soon as my mom (she's visiting) got up she wanted us both to do chores#And I by the time I finished that and was sitting down with my coffee I was very relieved and in tons of pain#And then proceeded to spill my coffee all over the armchair I was sitting in and had to spend another hour#Cleaning it up. By which point I was in too much pain to speak and just wanted to go lay down in bed where I might stop making messes#And then having to clean them up. And thankfully that has been the case. Am pretty much done with the ability to do anything else today#So I am just gonna try and spin and not make anything worse#I probably would prefer something rly colorful to spin today but I don't have anything prepped already... and that would be too much effort#So gray down batt it is
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I wonder if Bill and/or Charlie ever came back to the burrow and felt like they didn't belong anymore
#bill weasley#charlie weasley#brought to you by me(26) visiting my mom a few days ago who has three kids under the age of 10 in her care#and having a strong “Am I even meant to be here” feeling wash over me as I watched my mom chase after kids i barely even know#I know im a Percy blog but we all already know he gets like that but I wonder if as the oldest ones#how often they do#i know my gap is far larger so it's different but its the closest I got so “shrug”
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Whumptober - day 13 - infection
no magic healers where they're harboring him, so they're only choice is to deal with this themselves
(that is his mother. just to be clear)
#whumptober2023#no.13#infection#OC#art#wounds#blood#vivisection#stitches#fever#digital art#my ocs#Lee#a power outage killed my internet and i am hoping to god my mobile hotspot will post this lol#this recovery takes so long because they promised to hide him and they live too far out in the country to get house visits anyways#i think thats the first time ive drawn his mom... and its from the back...#my art
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愛と深空 ★ 池袋 Animate
love and deepspace
ikkebukuro animate display
/
pics and video by: me
#even though it was just screens it was still kinda fun to go and hear their voices live#my mom was with me too during this visit#she was like: what’s going on#my bf: this is a dating game she plays#my bf ended up explaining what LADS was to her#I would have laughed harder but I was too busy taking selfies of myself with seiya like the shameless person I am#my mom watched me grow up with my plushies and pillows so she just took it in stride hahaha#this is real this is me#love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#xavier#love and deepspace zayne#zayne#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel#aya documents stuff
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The thing about being neurodivergent and trying to be funny is just that… I could be giving my BEST material. A proper standup act! True hilarity (like that in my bio, thank you very much!) and… nada. Zilch. లేదు. לו. Total crickets!!!
But then, I just… say something. Completely random, somewhat serious. Just a regular old response to something. And then like… people are like “OMG UR SO FUNNY!”
And I’m like… I made THE BEST pun five minutes ago and you looked at me like “oh, sweetie…” but then I just… respond naturally to whatever you just said and suddenly I’m a comedian!!!
#ahh well#I’ll take the laughs where I can get em I guess#but for the record I AM very funny#why don’t melons ever get married?#because they CANTALOUPE!#see! prime material#at least in my accent lol#but then once I put the pans back in the wrong place when visiting my parents for the weekend and unloading the dishwasher#and my mom was like ‘what r u doing?’#and I go ‘oh sorry. thought it was a pan free for all’#just a natural response. no jokes#and she STILL laughs about it five years later#I don’t even remember this but to her it was the funniest thing on her#neurodivergent
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Imagine if Stacey and Neil actually met in high school except they didn’t go to the same school: they met through Kid Chameleon.
One night, Scott brings Stacey to one of their shows and it just so happens that Stephanie (or Steph) brought Neil with her.
Since they were both the youngest people there (Neil’s 17, Stacey’s 16 till December), they decided to talk to each other and they hit it off.
Stacey also develops a bit of a crush on Neil and would always ask Scott if Steph was going to bring her brother with her again, as she wanted to see him and didn’t know if there was another way.
Then one morning, she discovers that they take the same TTC bus and from then on they talk before and after school and become sorta friends. At this point, Neil also starts developing a crush on her.
Things stayed like that for about two months until Neil and his mom moved places (as I agree with the headcanon that the Nordegraf siblings have divorced parents) so they would no longer take the same bus in the morning or after school. They still have Kid Chameleon shows to meet up and talk at right? Ha ha wrong cause at New Years, the famous break up between Scott and Envy happens which in turn, also breaks up the band.
That whole break up was the nail in the coffin that strained Neil and Stacey’s kinda friendship. They didn’t have the others phone number cause they were both too shy to ask and also cause they both kept forgetting.
There also wasn’t a whole ton of opportunities to ask either of their siblings for their phone numbers so they just gave up and went on with their lives.
But then why didn’t they recognize the other in the like three times there were in the same room together? Easy answer: Stacey was distracted by everything around her to even notice Neil, who in turn, was slowly disappearing into the crowd and fully did by the time it was Lisa’s going away dinner.
So when they see each other again properly at the Chaos Theater, something clicks and they fall back into where they once were two years ago. To them it felt like a decade, but no it was just two years. They catch up on what they missed in the others lives on the walk home.
After that these dorks start dating cause the feelings were still there, just buried deep, left dormant, and forgotten. They came back but slightly different as people change.
#and that’s it!#this idea has been cooking for a little bit btw#i am an au fiend and this gets added to my long list#I have another idea where neil lives on the east coast with his mom but spent Christmas with his dad and Stephanie#he also says he’ll come visit Stacey during March break but since kid chameleon broke up after Scott and envy broke up#he didn’t get to (also cause he went on a trip with his mom instead)#the drama is there but I think I’m the only person who headcanons that Neil has family on the east coast sooooo#or hey how about he moves there with his mom since she wanted to be closer to her family#that’s another alternative#anyways try to pry this au headcanon from my cold dead hands#i love it sm#apologies if some things sound cliche deep down I’m a romantic at heart and I’m such a sucker for ppl meeting again after not seeing the#other for awhile#also sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s late at night and I should go to bed now so gn!#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim comic#young neil#neil nordegraf#stacey pilgrim#nordegrim#emilys headcanons#emilys long list of aus#i guess this counts as canon divergent too#long post#cause it is kinda long ngl
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you know when there is one person you need to have a fight with (my dad) but you cant so you find yourself subconsciously picking fights with other people -_-
yeah i need to stop that
#jrnlsht#there is a giant ache that overwhelms even the slight wound from nick being a butt over this illness#and its that my dad is acting like he just doesnt care at all#and it is crushing me#i knew we were distant but i didn't know until now that he really truly didnt care#i have to figure out a way to reconcile with that and honestly im at a loss#this is like when my dad kept canceling his visits to me or my visits to him#and i kept defending him and saying excuses#until finally my one programmer friend here sat me down and said laura you keep saying that your dad is the one person you rely on#but he hasnt been reliable for years#and i realized my friend was right#this is just an extension of that shit that happened like two years ago#but dad was always the good one who saved me from my moms abuse and i am forever blind to his failings
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hii i hope you’re doing alright !! Just wanted to know if you have any idea of when you’re going to publish the last far galaxies chapter !!! i love the fic and i can’t wait to read chapter 11 !! have a good day/night :)
thank you for reading!!!!! the answer is soon but not soon soon unfortunately this chapter is a BEAST like a BEAST of a BEAST and no matter how many words i write THERES STILL MORE A;SLJLSDHGLSHGQV
have a good day/night :) here are the first few hundred words <3
Hours later, after piling themselves back on the ship and cutting through space to the rendezvous point, they were back on the star base.
It felt like a true whirlwind, a few hours of action so packed he could hardly think and now somehow Nico found himself walking the same gray halls, up the same ramp, into the ship, into his empty room. The privacy panels were drawn, the room in near darkness. It was late in the night, not even Command at the ready. They’d meet first thing in the morning, a disgustingly early call time already on his schedule, something he’d have to be dragged out of bed to make.
For the time being, he was alone. Will had marched Thalia straight off to the medbay, hearing no arguments but enough complaints that Nico pitied him greatly. Jason and Piper went off to meet Annabeth wherever she was, and Leo was already setting himself on ship repairs, more than enough crafts lined up for him to choose from. Nico hadn’t felt the slightest bit of temptation to follow any of them.
Nico sat on the edge of the bed, his legs coming out from under him. Quite suddenly, he felt exhausted down to the bone. He felt like he could sleep for a month and still want a nap.
He dropped his head into his hands. He thought of the look in Thalia’s eyes, the anguish.
Nico had taken his eye off the ball. It was a fact. If he’d faced one delay in the trees, an extra few minutes spent somewhere else, Thalia would be dead. And it’d be what she wanted. The thought was enough to tighten his throat, painful.
Things could have gone so differently. He could be standing somewhere completely different, a completely different person.
Nico didn’t let himself think on it very long. He grabbed for his comm. It only took a few rings until there was a mechanical click, the line connecting.
“I messed up,” Nico muttered into the dark. “I don’t know what to do.”
There was a pause. “Do you want me to come?”
Nico swallowed, wholly unsure. He was just figuring out what to say, how to even respond to that, when -
“Send your coordinates,” Bianca decided in a second, crisp in his ear. “Let your leadership know, I’m bringing the Huntresses.”
#LETS GO LESBIANS#oh my god this chapter is so so so long and ITS NOT CLOSE TO BEING DONE#ok its like 70% done but ?????? ITS 68K RIGHT NOW????? oh my gooood AND THERES STILL 33 BEATS/SCENES TO FINISH#i have a joke with my mom that everyday i clock out of work and clock into fic and its like. yes. oh my god. but yes#in my head i soooo wanted it done before my birthday as a little treat for me a la slasher fic but oh my gooood its not happening#i am foreseeing an early to mid June update but!!!! i am visiting family next week and hope to get a lot done while im off <3 <3 <3#space fic
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#idk if it's because i've given autism a very in depth look now or if i just always been like this and never really thought about it#but i'm finding it harder and harder to match my feelings to what i guess i'm supposed to feel?#like when something sad happens and i have no reaction to it#it's not that i'm not sad or that i'm glad it's happening but i just have no feelings?#which in turn bring put feelings of guilt because i'm not sad or worried enough...#it's such a weird experience and i'm of course not saying that autistic people have no feelings#that's so not what i'm saying#but it is a trait of autism to have difficulty pinpointing what you feel and also difficulty expressing it in ways other people usually doit#so perhaps it is because i've learned about that that I'm accepting that maybe i just don't feel things ''the normal way''#but i'm having a weird one tonight because my mom had to leave because of an emergency with my grandma#and it's 1am right now#and i am worried. of course i am. I don't want my grandma to suffer (although i have accepted she's not gonna live much longer)#but i still don't want her to die obviously#and most importantly I don't want my mom to have to go through that... to see her mother die? that's horrible#i'm obviously sad and worried#yet i'm sitting here drinking coffee and laughing at funny videos like nothing's happening#and i feel fine... like as if my mom was just sleeping at home like every night and not at a hospital visiting her dying mother...#and i know that years back i would have gone ''what the fuck is wrong with me?!'' and perhaps maybe forced myself to feel worse#or to cry or whatever because I can't be chill when something bad is happening...#and maybe i'll feel that way when my mom is back because I can't be calm and happy is she's sad#that would be rubbing it in her face#so maybe i'll feel more guilty then?#idk it's a weird feeling that i wanted to put into words#mostly for when it happens again i'll have a record of it somewhere#idk#angel talks#personal
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having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you
#cy says stuff#I moved out when I was 17 for a reason#but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time#every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it#I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink#or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent#or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things#I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol#also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom#but what if your mom sucks what then#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like#the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family#anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it#just#always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol#some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood#but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭
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Thinking thoughts about these tags at work today.
#specifically#armand knowing daniel's book has put his adult daughters directly in the line of retributive fire from other vampires#does he sit back and wait for the inevitable or does he intervene? does he use them as bait to catch vamps who would hurt daniel or louis?#we never got the blood amulet on daniel before he was turned and now he doesnt need it. armand's blood is in his veins.#what if armand gives one (or two) to daniel's daughters? but how to make them wear it without revealing himself?#daniel or kate finding the amulet in lenora's apartment after she's murdered.#armand visiting kate's home afterward incognito and opening his wrist to bleed om the bushes outside as a warning#I DONT KNOW MAN I DONT KNOW#also i am very attached to the idea of kate learning about vampires when she and her family are attacked and armand saves them#just because now armand controls the narrative#kate puts together that daniel became a vampire without telling her or her sister and then put a giant target on all their backs#and so when daniel starts arguing with armand about how he had met with lenora without telling him#and then revealed himself to kate and the grandkids#she takes ARMAND'S side because at least he was HONEST. at least he TRIED to protect them!#messy messy messy!#daniel holding up the blood amulet he found in lenora's things: and what you thought giving her this bullshit was gonna protect her?#kate: what are you talking about#kate: YOU gave her that when she was a kid.#daniel: wh--#kate: you gave ME the same necklace when I was like 8. I opened it on christmas morning.#kate: you even sent sybelle one when she was born#kate: i thought it was some kind of weird tradition from mom's side of the family in the old country...#daniel: ...#daniel: armand.#daniel: why did my daughters have vials of your blood as children.#armand: ... can we talk about this in private#(he says as they all stand in the middle of the freeway in California with Lestat's overturned tour bus on fire behind them)
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