#because they CANTALOUPE!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The thing about being neurodivergent and trying to be funny is just thatā¦ I could be giving my BEST material. A proper standup act! True hilarity (like that in my bio, thank you very much!) andā¦ nada. Zilch. ą°²ą±ą°¦ą±. ××. Total crickets!!!
But then, I justā¦ say something. Completely random, somewhat serious. Just a regular old response to something. And then likeā¦ people are like āOMG UR SO FUNNY!ā
And Iām likeā¦ I made THE BEST pun five minutes ago and you looked at me like āoh, sweetieā¦ā but then I justā¦ respond naturally to whatever you just said and suddenly Iām a comedian!!!
#ahh well#Iāll take the laughs where I can get em I guess#but for the record I AM very funny#why donāt melons ever get married?#because they CANTALOUPE!#see! prime material#at least in my accent lol#but then once I put the pans back in the wrong place when visiting my parents for the weekend and unloading the dishwasher#and my mom was like āwhat r u doing?ā#and I go āoh sorry. thought it was a pan free for allā#just a natural response. no jokes#and she STILL laughs about it five years later#I donāt even remember this but to her it was the funniest thing on her#neurodivergent
49 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
and that's why that lady works fourteen hour shifts :)
[jojamart mockumentary #3]
#stardew valley#sdv morris#sdv shane#sdv penny#sdv sam#sdv maru#sdv joja cashier#jojamart mockumentary#my art#inspired by the nice young walmart cashier who took a while to ring up my mom's cantaloupe#because he didn't quite remember the name of it#āthis is a canary :)ā
9K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Hey Everyone.
I want to know YOUR favorite FR color.
I think mine is cantaloupe. Idk why
#it is funny because warm colors really aren't my thing and it doesn't fit with ANY of my other preferred colors#But Cantaloupe just resonates with me#I love the grey range. I love the blues! I love the GREENS AND BROWNS!! BUT Cantaloupe? Just makes me happy?#flight rising
328 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
puts ur funny little time loopers in the animal paint game
#tak does draws#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 6 secret encounter spoilers#isat a6se spoilers#siffrin#isat siffrin#loop#isat loop#'is this a chicory a colorful tale au mal' yeah lmao#i have been possessed by the whimsies. and games i like. soim stapling them together#theyre both fennec foxes and look kind of similar because. yknow. twohats.#but cantaloupe wouldve been the wielder before fritter and was like. im imagining kind of had their hand forced in giving it up to him#but i havent hashed everything out yet SO . LMAO
72 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
(incoherent screaming)
WHY
WHY DOES LINE THICKNESS CHANGE THE ENTIRE DRAWING
THIS IS SO STUPID
ITS JUST A PHONE
LITERALLY 2 RECTANGLES
YOU DONT HAVE TO BE THIS COMPLICATED
THESE TWO PICTURES ARE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
/neg /neg /neg /neg /neg /neg /neg /neg
im going to bash my head against a wall
#maybe im like this because i havent had proper sleep since last year september and i only live off of water and cantaloupe#inanimate insanity#ii#iii#inanimate insanity invitational#art#digital art#ii mephone4#artwork#iii mephone 4#mephone 4
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
I mean this as a silly friendly thing and not to actually be mean but
you have wonderful opinions on mint and opinions I strongly disagree with on cantaloupe
Itās just NEVER RIPE???
see i KNEW writing that tag that cantaloupe would be controversial. if you've never eaten ripe cantaloupe then i don't think you can have an opinion on it. so this is my assignment to you: acquire and eat ripe cantaloupe and let me know your opinion on it after
#ghost post#i mean this /lh too dw#also it might just be because i'm in a warm area but in all of the many cantaloupes i've cut open and eaten in one sitting with my sister#i have never encountered an unriper cantaloupe#there's been ones with a larger green ring around the edge but i've never found one that less than 85% orange inside
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
āmelon is the cheap fruit they put in fruit saladsā
Fuck you. A good cantaloupe is GODS GIFT TO THIS EARTH
Cantaloupe is an absolute banger fruit and I am TIRED OF PRETENDING IT ISNT
#Except like the unsweet unripe cantaloupe#its not even that bad itās just disappointing#its like biting into what you think is icecream and itās actually mediocre yogurt#like itās fine Iāll eat it but I was so excited#because good cantaloupe is better than all the antidepressants Iāve been on
16 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Are you ok? I love you I love you I love you <3
Do you like smoothies? Iāve been struggling to eat nutritious stuff more lately and fruit has been my savior. I like making fruit smoothies with baby spinach and apple cider added for vegetables. If you havenāt tried it yet, frozen mango chunks are some of the best (imo) snacks to eat during summer. They are like popsicles but they donāt melt onto your hands and you can eat them with a fork or spoon. You can put them in smoothies instead of ice cubes to keep it cool too. Also, when I was a kid my mom used to make me āblueberry icecreamā which was just frozen wild blueberries (which are smaller than normal blueberries) in a bowl with milk. The cold blueberries froze the milk into a slushy-like solution and it was very good. It would probably work with most milk substitutes too although I havenāt tried it yet.
Everyone should go have a fizzy drink with some fruit juice and ice cubes mixed in if they are hot right now, it is so wonderful.
I love you I love you I love you <3
I'm doing good! Thanks for the kind words! I find i can do about 2 cups of chopped fruit and vegetables a day right now, which is really good for me! Be careful with smoothies if you have gastroparesis, I was getting blockages at my worst because the fiber is still there even if it's all chopped up. Juice is really good though because you're getting all the nutrients and sugars without fiber.
Something I do now that i wish I started sooner was having ensure around for bad days. I mix it with my coffee and have two of them a day on bad days and three if I can't eat solid food at all. Learning what the fullness of delayed emptying feels like helps a lot because then I can eat again when the feeling is gone without hurting myself.
I've done the frozen blueberries too! When I was kid we went every year to Oregon for u pick berries with my grandma and ate them with frozen milk while we visited! It's really good with peaches too like that.
Also if you can eat a lot of melon, get a small personal sized cantaloupe and fill the center where the seeds were with vanilla ice cream. You won't regret it.
#yes i blew all 2 cups of my fruit allowance on that cantaloupe at 10 am this morning#im HOPING itll digest and i can have more tonight!!!#gastroparesis#im at around 35% for the four hour mark on gastric emptying but i manage without a feeding tube because im extremely lucky AND work hard#there are people with faster emptying that cant eat solids and i feel so much for them
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
omg made a mint julep with half an ounce of melon liqueurā¦WOAHHHHH
#.txt#this shit fucks SO hard. ngl#i think i will call it a canter-lope. play on cantaloupe (melon. even though it is a different melon) and a horseās canter#because. kentucky derby :)#same measurements as a normal mint julep but a bit less sugar and a half ounce melon liqueur
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
vampires can only take medicines derived from plants because they were once-living things
(that's actually a LOT of drugs including common ones like aspirin, morphine, some heart medicines, chemotherapy drugs, and of course a lot of the fun recreational ones)
#original post#if you allow fungits that allows for antibiotics too since many are derived from mold!#i loved cantaloupe as a kid because apparently they used to grow penicillin on melon slices :D
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
rhine the type of mom to slide sliced fruits under the door instead of apologizing
#I think albedo would like cantaloupes#because theyāre sweet#so the rhinealice household has a lot#my cuties#rhine HCs
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
so important to have special events and stuff to do to keep you grounded and happy. Every Sunday I go to the farmers market and I get a little drink and I eat a fish tostada and I get in season fruit and bread and itās wonderful :-)
#melons are in season and Iāve now scarfed down a cantaloupe by myself two sundays in a row#when it gets to being winter I will go back to my Sunday sandwich routine but farmers market Sunday are so good and fun#(sandwich Sunday where I make a special sub thatās special because I say it is)
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I can't really say who this cantaloupe was actually for
#mine#chickens#he REALLY loves cantaloupe#like i feed him ofc but he loves to join the chickens when I bring home cantaloupe#hes rough looking because he wont stop getting into pissfights with the other local tom
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
It physically pains me that I went through this whole convoluted system to come up with a name for one of my OCs only to discover THAT EXACT NAME ALREADY EXISTS AS A ZELDA NPC
#fucking talo#when i played twilight princess and discovered Talo i was SO MAD#When I did RESEARCH and there is LORE and LOGIC behind my OC being named Talo#could have been worse#could have been malo#but yeah#talo is paya's brother because paya was named after papaya#and so i thought about similar fruits#cantaloupe#what's a good name within cantaloupe#canTALOupe#and yet#sigh#emily talks#my writing#that child of mine
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
there is something so funny about someone replying ādamn my family of four only spends $200 month on groceriesā to a post and then so many people call bullshit they immediately have to reply āIāve ever only gone shopping with my mom like once so maybe my numbers are offā
#Aw yes they are sweetie but you did such a good job at trying to recall numbers!#it mustāve been so hard and scawy going shopping at a grocery store supervised w your own mother while you barely paid attention š„ŗ#I must resort to infantalizing them because if theyāre not a child#I want to reach through the computer grab their freeloading ass#and crush their empty skull like a sour cantaloupe
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I never thought I'd see someone successfully say "&!@*$%!!!" like they were in an old comic, let alone in a presidential debate, but by gods she did it.
Oh, she was thisclose to calling him something very impolite. š
#laugh out loud rule#couches for Kamala#Manchurian Cantaloupe#this is like putting asterisks in f*** because it's more eyecatching than if you wrote it out in full
30K notes
Ā·
View notes