#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink

[thotsfortherapy]

having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

[anashins]

Snow in London

Pairing: idol!Jaehyun x escort!reader

Genre: fluff, romance, smut

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Jaehyun has to spend Christmas alone in London and figures that with money, you can buy anything - even company to make him feel less alone.

A/N: Merry Christmas guys - this is my gift for you! Have happy holidays and enjoy! (You might get confused as the story unfolds, but keep reading, it will all make sense, trust me)

A bottle of wine and an escort.

If two weeks ago someone had told Jaehyun that this was how he was going to spend this year’s Christmas, he would have called that person a fool. Usually, he spent it among his family, friends and members, and everyone knew. Very cozy and comfortable, only with the people closest to him.

Now, Jaehyun himself was the person who looked like a fool. 

It was Christmas Eve and he was sitting in a hotel room on the other side of the world - London, to be exact - far away from all the people dear to him. If only he hadn’t accepted this campaign shoot for this certain luxury brand, he would be home by now, fast asleep after having enjoyed good food with his family.

But fate had other things in store for him when it was announced this morning that all domestic and international flights were canceled due to the heavy snowstorm that would last a couple of days. Jaehyun knew it was his responsibility as a global ambassador, but he had really begged to not accept this job in case something like this would happen. It didn’t usually snow in the UK, so his team had just shrugged his concerns off.

But somehow, he had sensed it, and now he was locked up here with nowhere else to go.

When Jaehyun looked out of the window, he saw white everywhere with not a single vehicle passing by in the streets, and the snow wouldn’t stop falling. He doubted he could take a flight tomorrow or the day after that. Or the day after that even. It was frustrating. 

With a ‘thud’, he let himself fall back onto the bed. At least he was in a high class hotel close to Hyde Park and the staff had invited him to go to the bar with them, but Jaehyun wasn’t in the mood for company now. Well, at least not the company of so many people he didn’t know well enough. 

Why an escort then? 

Jaehyun didn’t want to spend Christmas Eve entirely alone, but he also didn’t want the commitment of having the person around until the next morning with the obligation of getting something physical out of it. He would rather leave it open. Or even worse, he didn’t want to take the flight back with that person and work together again depending on how this night would end. So that was why the staff was ruled out and the hotel employees as well just because they were short handed during the holidays.

Jaehyun just didn’t want to be alone on Christmas Eve and he had the money for it.

The fact that he had indeed never done something like this before was mirrored in how his heart jumped the moment he heard a knock on the door. Luckily, it was just room service bringing the wine he had ordered shortly before, leaving him all alone again with a simple “Merry Christmas”. 

If this Christmas Eve was going to turn merry for Jaehyun, he also didn’t know yet.

The second time he heard a knock, he opened the door even more nervous to find you standing in front of him whose picture he had only briefly seen on the website this morning.

The first thing he noticed about you was how much prettier you were in real life. If he were being honest, you didn’t look like your photos at all as in fact, he found you more beautiful in person and with your bright aura, his nervousness directly dropped a bit. 

Perhaps, he had also not looked at the photos properly, because he wanted to leave it open whether there would be intimate contact at all, and there were not many working today. In the end, he preferred any company over none at all and this was a time where he couldn’t be picky much since he also didn’t want to reduce a person to their outward appearance only and wanted to talk to them too.

So Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised to see you, a pretty, young woman with a nice energy, standing in front of him. 

The second thing he noticed was that you must be cold, because despite your body being covered in a thick black puffer jacket and a pair of black pants that ended in boots, there were remnants of snow everywhere on your body, and since the flakes were melting by room temperature, it looked like you had just run through the rain with your face uncovered also.

For a special day with special services, if Jaehyun were to be blunt, you were dressed and styled quite ordinary - which he didn’t mind at all though since you were only going to stay in the room anyway, he had dropped the fact beforehand! He just couldn’t help but to notice the great difference in the sexy clothings and heavy makeup you had worn on your online pis and the way you were styled now. 

But he’d rather have you warm and cozy than sexy during such a weather, he wasn’t one to pay much attention to outer clothing anyway when most of the time he was wearing lounge pants himself. Actually Jaehyun felt really relieved since he also hadn’t dressed up much for this occasion, wearing his slacks and black shirt at most. 

“Good evening. It’s cold outside, come in.”

Jaehyun opened the door widely, and the third thing he noticed about you was how good you smelled when you walked past him with a light,

“Good evening. Thank you.”

You opened your jacket and Jaehyun, like the gentleman he was, helped you get out of it and hung it up on the wardrobe. When he turned back around, he observed you standing in the room, wrapping your arms around yourself and trembling with your light clothes since your upper body was only covered in a blouse.

“Didn’t you use the shuttle I ordered?” he asked.

“You ordered a shuttle for me? Oh…” You shook your head. “I used the subway and walked all the way from Oxford Circus to here.”

That was why you looked like you had walked through the snowstorm - because you literally did. “I paid for a shuttle service straight to the hotel too, no?” Jaehyun was sure this had been listed on the bill as an extra service for which he had already paid.

“I didn’t get the notice, she didn’t tell me. Only the hotel, floor and room number. There are no cars or services running, so….”

Suddenly, Jaehyun felt bad. He assumed ‘she’ was the operator in the company, something like a manager. “Take off your clothes.” 

“What?”

He was confused that you had turned confused, so you were looking at each other, equally puzzled. “I want to hang them up, so you don’t have to walk around with wet clothes and risk getting a cold. And I want you to take a shower please, to warm yourself up.” 

You blinked a few times, but then replied, “Oh! No, I was only taken aback a bit…”

“Don’t worry.” Jaehyun finally realized what had run through your head. “I’m not like that.”

Even though you only nodded as a reply, he clearly saw how relieved you were, and he started questioning whether you knew what you were actually here for as you appeared a bit insecure about this entire situation. Even though it might not happen right away or at all, the job description was very clear and you weren’t a newbie if he had to believe the website. But Jaehyun shrugged it off as this was a special circumstance and day you might not get into often as well.

Jaehyun then sent you to the bathroom with information on where to find the towels and a bathrobe. He just couldn’t live with the thought of having a woman come over despite the weather and dealing with the consequences.

Rummaging through his luggage, he found a simple white long sleeve and checkered lounge pants that must be way too big for you, but he figured it was better than leaving you in a bathrobe or making you wear your own clothes again before they had fully dried.

When you walked out of the bathroom approximately half an hour later, with semi-dried hair, a bathrobe way too big for you and wearing no makeup at all anymore, the fourth thing Jaehyun noticed about you was that you were an ordinary young woman who he could have also met on the streets or in a club, not someone he paid to spend a few hours with.

And if he were to say it out loud, he wouldn’t want you to misunderstand this. There was no negative connotation with this thought, especially not in regard to your job which services he was making use of himself. It just dawned on him that you were two ordinary people in private, alone on Christmas Eve. 

In the end, when it came down to loneliness, you were both the same.

“You’re so kind to me,” you stated when Jaehyun handed you his clothes.

“I figured someone who has to work on Christmas Eve deserves more kindness than usual.”

“It was okay,” you simply stated and returned to the bathroom while it echoed, “There weren’t too many rude customers today, thank god.”

Jaehyun tilted his head in question over this cryptic statement. Had you just used plural? Oh my, how many customers did you take in a day? Was Christmas Eve really that busy? But then he decided to brush it off. It was none of his business anyway, although it remained in the back of his head, itching him a bit. 

While he walked over to the table where he had also already prepared two glasses and opened the wine, you left the bathroom again, now fully dressed in his clothes.

Jaehyun attempted really hard not to look up and to stare, so he tried to catch a glimpse or two from the corner of his eyes while filling the wine glasses. Under any other circumstances, this would have been an awkward first date, and even though it wasn’t since he paid for your company, pretending to have it be one made it a little bit easier for him, he had to admit.

“Wine?” he offered, and he perceived in the way the look in your eyes changed that you very much welcomed this ice breaker.

“Thank you.”

Alcohol was not only very popular for making your tongue loose, which was why, two glasses of wine for each of you later, your outer clothes had become very loose as well and eventually landed on the floor next to the bed.

“You know,” you murmured in between kisses before Jaehyun slid his tongue along your jaw and only came to a stop with it by the side of your neck, which made you giggle. “I usually don’t do this the first time I meet someone… At least not directly.”

Jaehyun pricked up his ears, but didn’t stop nibbling on the soft skin. “Oh? But then, what do you usually do upon first meeting someone?”

“Usually we go out, to a restaurant or something. And if the vibe is right, one thing leads to another…”

Of course he knew about the fact that high quality escort services didn’t come with short lived physical intimacy only. But there was only so much he was able to do in such a situation, and now he was truly wondering if he should have ordered a room service meal first since he hadn’t even been fixated on physical contact only. It was his first time too, so he still felt a bit lost - and guilty he wasn’t able to offer more.

But he was just so attracted to you which was even more fueled by the bit of alcohol in his system now, and upon the first time he had leaned in to kiss you only moments before this, he knew you felt the same about him. Which was good! After all, he couldn’t imagine getting intimate with someone who had to pretend to like him for his sake and for the money.

“I would have taken you out first too, but during this snowstorm…”

He didn’t come to end his sentence, because you cupped his face and pulled him up, so that you were facing each other again, and you reassured him with your thumb stroking tenderly over his warm cheek, “I don’t mind this time.”

“Good.”

And with that, the last word was spoken just as the last pieces of clothing, your underwear, found their way onto the floor too. 

When Jaehyun was running his fingers through your hair, caressing the sensitive skin on your shoulder with his warm lips, he noticed that, even after showering, you still smelled as good as in the moment when you first had walked through the door. You weren’t wearing any heavy perfume or another scent. This was just you, the natural you. He liked it.

You were sitting on his lap and held onto his strong upper arms for support as he went lower with his lips to the area around your cleavage. Your teeth sank into the flesh of your bottom lip when he bit into your nipple, making you gasp eventually. You felt him smile against your breast, and, almost as if he wanted to apologize, he licked over the spot and then gently placed a kiss on it. 

When he dedicated his mouth to your other mound though, he didn’t use his teeth anymore, but only his tongue. And a few moments later, you let your head roll back as he sucked on nibbled on that spot, causing sensations to run all through your body and your thighs to clasp around him even stronger as though you wanted more of him too. And you actually did, oh how much you did!

But a familiar tone made you both turn your head to the desk simultaneously where your phone was lightening up and vibrating. Who would interrupt you at such a time?

“Just ignore it,” you told him, and he nodded deliberately.

“Very well.”

He grabbed you by your bum and with a gasp, you then were flipped around and fell backwards onto the mattress with a giggle. When your phone had exactly stopped ringing, you couldn't tell in the end, because you long had Jaehyun’s fingers inside of you.

What he thought when he was pleasuring you with his hand, wasn’t only how hot you looked as a writhing and whiny mess under him from whom he couldn’t avert his eyes, but also how fun it was, because there was a smile showing on your face every now and then.

Jaehyun usually never did one night stands, though there had been a handful of ones throughout the years. But these girls, he had talked to before, even in a drunken state only. That he just requested the company of someone and they would actually match so well from the first moment on like with you, he hadn’t expected at all.

His fingers were drenched when he pulled them out of you after noticing how tight you had gotten around him due to your arousal, but he was determined to prolong the act. After all, you had the whole night and he could still sleep on the plane the next day - if they would run again - which he doubted. And a part of him already thought further and made plans to book you instead again.

“Look at me.”

Jaehyun didn’t know why exactly, but he just wanted that. It made him feel warm around his chest. And he could need a little warmth right now when it was so cold and lonely outside. He hoped you did too. 

Your eyes were indeed warm when you looked at each other, so he couldn’t help but lift his free hand and brush some streaks of your hair out of your face. There were worse ways to spend Christmas, he had to admit. Actually, this Christmas had turned really nice at this point.

Jaehyun got pulled out of his thoughts though when he felt the palms of your hands in his nether regions, first stroking along his inner thighs, then wrapping around his full length. No way this was happening. The unexpected sensation made him fold, and he had a really hard time propping his weight up against his elbows to hold himself in position when it all felt so good.

“You like that?” you whispered into his ear with a low voice that turned him on so much.

“Just keep going and I won’t be able to guarantee anything.”

With a brush over his tip, you wiped away his droplet of precum. You then retracted your hand to lead your stained fingers to your mouth and slid them in without breaking eye contact with him. This way you let him know that he nevertheless would end up very lucky this christmas. 

Even your phone vibrating again couldn’t interrupt the mood since you both quietly agreed to ignore it before he reached for a condom on the nightstand to prepare himself. There still were a few hours of Christmas Eve left, a few hours where you could still try out stuff. Right now, you both just needed to get it off.

Jaehyun wondered if there was something you absolutely wouldn’t do or liked to do, but there was no room to think about it much anyway when you were lying under him, completely naked, a light sheen of sweat covering most parts of your body, and your facial expression welcoming him with your lips slightly parted. 

Could he imagine a better gift for his situation? Absolutely not.

He parted your thighs with his knees when he sat in front of you and guided himself in. It was easy with almost no strength required, that was how wet he had already gotten you through his fingerwork. Grabbing your thighs to your left and right, Jaehyun slid you along the mattress closer to him so that you were eventually fully sheathed inside and stuck skin on skin.

You spread out your hands when he started to pull out, then pushed in again, and with every time, he added a little more force. Your eyes rolled to the ceiling as your fingers entangled with the sheet to your left and right, and you suddenly weren’t mad at your parents anymore for leaving you alone on Christmas, so that you had decided to still work and practically spend it with a stranger. You could imagine having a worse celebration than this one right here. 

It had been quite a while since you last had sex, and you weren’t sure it had ever been this good or if it were only the circumstances and you were just so into each other - which was so rare! But in the end, it didn’t really matter. If the first blind encounter was already this good, there for sure would be a second one!

You felt your climax nearing the moment he picked up his speed, and although you were able to cum like this, you still appreciated that he changed the position from kneeling in front of you to lying on top of you. It felt good to wrap your legs around his middle, and feel him, every stroke, no matter how hard or long, even more intense.

He was breathing into your ear, and at one point even kissed your earlobe, then your cheek. It was intimate and cute at the same time, and he eventually hovered over you with his face, so you spread out your arms to welcome him with a kiss on your mouth, and then hugged him close to your body.

His breathing turned irregular and it wasn’t in sync with his thrusts anymore, that was how you could foretell that at any second, he would cum. With your fingers grabbing into his hair, partly gently, partly determined, you signalized him that it was alright to let go, and that you would follow too.

As though he had been holding in until you gave such kind of approval, he came the moment he slid back inside you with a low groan right beside your ear. You witnessed his breathing turning regular and slower and him gaining back full control of his body, because he did not directly pull out of you after he was done.

Instead, he continued moving for as long as he was still able to and eventually got you off with his hands so that you shook in his arms and he was now the one having to hold you through your climax.

“Best Christmas Eve ever,” you eventually breathed when he let go of you and rolled to one side of the now messy bed. “That was a nice gift.”

“Right back at you,” Jaehyun said.

With a look at you, he observed how you tried to grab the blanket to wrap it around your naked body to keep yourself warm. He knew a better method though. 

Jaehyun moved to your side of the bed and laid down, but making sure to have closed his arms around you before to pull you down with him right onto his chest. For a moment, he was worried that it was too much and you would free yourself again. But as he felt your muscles relaxing and you eventually put an arm around him too, he was very much relieved.

“Why are you spending Christmas alone?” you eventually asked him after a few moments of silence. “She didn’t tell me.”

Ah, so details truly weren’t passed on upon request. “My flight back home got canceled due to the snowstorm, but I didn’t want to be all alone.” Jaehyun didn’t know whether he could ask this question back, but he did nonetheless. He figured if you didn’t want to or weren’t allowed to share private info, you would tell him immediately.

“Oh, you wanted to spend it among your family too but they live abroad?” He wanted to explain that he lived abroad too, but your answer caught his attention more, “My parents suddenly decided they would rather spend two weeks on a cruise in the Caribbean sea instead of celebrating with me, so I was alone too.” 

“I understand that.” If he would have been left alone on Christmas, since it was a holiday spent among the family in the UK, he would have rather worked too, Jaehyun thought to himself. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Yeah, that’s why.”

It was cold outside, but their bodies and hearts were warm, not only because of them sharing their physical warmth, but mostly because they were not alone anymore. 

So it was an unspoken agreement that their encounter wouldn’t end here. Or at night. Probably only the next morning. And even then, you both wondered if it actually would when it felt this good.

“Should I order room service?” Jaehyun asked instead.

You nodded with excitement. “Actually, I’m quite hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.” He laughed and stretched out his arm to reach for the phone, but you both heard a knock on the door before he could call anyone.

“Did you already order something before?” you asked out of curiosity, but Jaehyun shook his head. 

“Maybe someone from my team?”

You frowned. “Team…?”

But Jaehyun didn’t see it as he had already jumped out of bed to throw on some light clothes so that it wouldn’t get that embarrassing to open the door to one of the staff.

Standing in front of him was no familiar staff at all though.

“Good evening, here I am.”

Jaehyun was flabbergasted. Had it been a glass of wine too much? Because in front of him stood the woman whose exact pictures he had seen online this morning, he now remembered clearly. Not only was she wearing the exact same clothes, but also the same heavy makeup. No doubt, he wasn’t dreaming or imagining.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” she continued. “The shuttle you ordered couldn’t get through, I was waiting for so long. I ordered a taxi from Oxford Circus instead and that eventually got stuck. I had to walk the rest of the way, but now I’m here… What is it? Don’t you want to invite me in?”

“Pardon me… what?!”

On the other side of the room, you had finally picked up the phone call from your friend who had just called for the third time.

“Hey! You can’t imagi-... What do you mean? How can he still be waiting when I am currently with him? Yes, the guy you set me up on a blind date with, he’s here,” you defended yourself over the line, then paused. “What do you mean? I am in the room on the fifth floor, the exact room you told me.”

You looked over to the man who had just closed the door again and your eyes locked with undefinable gazes. 

“This is the fourth floor.”

Then, you both asked the other as realization dawned at the same time,

“Who are you?”

[sleeplesssmoll]

Can you imagine everyone in the suitcase getting together to prepare the Foundation Kids’ first Christmas 🥹🥹🥹

The gift exchanging and the cuteness would be the most wholesome thing! Little Santa hats for all! Honestly this became a long list of HCs and not all of them are related to Christmas. It'll be Crew member and Vertin interactions because it'd be a lot to do it both ways for every single character. My ears are open for anyone who wants to share their HCs!

Regulus (actually Apple) gives a Vertin a set of high quality paint brushes. She also gives her also a weird rotund plushy with this face

• _ •

This is the real one Regulus picked but she and Apple work as a pair. She says it's face reminded her of Vertin. Vertin will keep this new friend among her growing collection of oddities from her crew members. She keeps everything they give her, even if it's just a pretty marble.

Joshua gives her a DIY woodworking book and then brings up his bookshelf being broken (hidden agenda!) At first the others are like "wth?" but Vertin seems to love it. You know the little game pieces we see throughout the game to represent the characters? Vertin makes something similar with her new skill and they use them when developing strategies. Jessica and Sonetto like to help her paint them. Druvis gives her tips (since she's a wandmaker she has more experience). Also, Vertin does fix his shelf eventually and made a few adjustments so it won't break again.

I see Vertin as the type who can figure out those God awful assembly instructions with 70 different letters and numbers labeling everything. For tech stuff, Regulus and Joshua have them covered. They try not to ask X if they can help it because despite being a genuis he always adds an unnecessary feature. No I don't need my camera have a "brew coffee" function!

None of the "fix-it" people above can put together a proper meal though.

Madam Z is invited but couldn't make it (Constantine at it again). She sends Vertin a very elegant coat with a water proof enchantment to keep her both warm and dry. She she noticed Vertin's grown a bit taller and she'll most likely need a new coat.

Tooth Fairy also couldn't make it (helping Madam Z so she can get leave the office sooner and they can celebrate with wine). She sends Vertin a jar of candies and a finely crafted pocket knife. Why a pocket knife? No one knows for sure. Despite no one getting it at first, whenever they have a package they can't open, a freshly picked fruit from the garden, etc. they ask Vertin if she has her knife. Of course she does. She's Suitcase Dad lol. Tooth Fairy was predicting the future.

Sotheby will give her candies that are actually healing potions! It's one of her newest creations! They're more convenient than carrying potion bottles. There are a few...side effects but nothing too major. Vertin is extremely grateful for this and carries a few in her pocket at all times in case someone gets hurt. This usually ends up being herself (in combat) or Sotheby tripping and scraping her knees, palm, etc. She'll hesitate to take the candy herself (because what if someone else needs it later?), even when she's barely standing but heaven forbid one of her people gets a boo-boo or a bruise. It's frustrating as it is endearing.

Sonetto gives her a tin of her favorite brand of tea and a thermal blanket. Vertin's the type of person with a cooler body temperature. In winter, her hands are freezing! This worries Pupnetto even though the Foundation trains them to endure cold temperatures. However, most of the other members end up snuggling in the heated blanket, including Sonetto herself (she is slowly unlearning the Foundation's way of suffering pointlessly) but she will share it with Vertin when she does. Vertin doesn’t mind. Honestly, Sonetto is hot blooded (the opposite of her) so having her nearby makes it warmer anyway.

And Sonetto's always at her side. She doesn't worry about the cold.

Druvis gives Vertin a wand with her arcanum built into it. It's shaped like a pistol, similar to Schneider's but it's nonlethal. The "bullets" are infused with the slime from Druvis's thorns and can hinder enemy movements (inflict petrify status). This way she can "protect" Vertin even if they're apart. With more eyes on the Suitcase than ever, she believes Vertin needs to take extra precautions. Vertin takes very good care of the gun (though she's never had to use it in real combat yet) and when they do co-op missions with other departments it garners a lot of attention from the soldiers.

Druvis is not accepting requests at this time.

Blonney gives her an ugly Christmas sweater but her gag gift backfires when Vertin looks cute. Stupid yes, but cute. Also the fabric is very soft and Vertin seems very cozy inside.

Later, Blonney gives her the real gift. She was too shy to give it to her in front of the others but there's a hand written card thanking her everything she's done for her and Jessica. There's money in the card of course. Jen also gives her a little short story she wrote. Not a horror one, but a sweet one about a curious kitten going on misadventures and making friends. Vertin can immediately tell its based on the shenanigans she gets into with her crew members. Blonney doesn't stick around long (blushing too hard) but Vertin is moved by this. The crew members are represented by their Udimos!

Jessica gives Vertin a doll (think chibi) she made that looks like the Timekeeper and it has removable accessories. For Christmas, the chibi Vertin is wearing a Santa suit. Sometimes the doll goes missing from her shelf if she's gone for more than a day (work relates reasons). 98% of the time it's with Sonetto who crumbles like a guilty puppy if Vertin asks about its whereabouts. The separation anxiety is real. Vertin recognizes this and eventually says it looks happier in Sonetto's room. She asks Sonetto to please take good care of her (the doll). Vertin also makes more effort to "call" home or send a message with arcanum tech after this event.

She's not used to having people wait for her at home, but one day in the near future she will be.

[godempworm]

Seven Comfort Films

tagged by @fulcrum843 and @alderaanakin

Moulin Rouge! - I first watched this movie when I was like 10 years old and then in middle school I literally watched it every single day of the week. Really got me into my obsession with Ewan McGregor...also dyed my hair red because of Satine I obsoletely adore her.

The Prince of Egypt - I watched this is Bible School the very first time and I recall having a VHS tape of it, but everything about it I love. It makes me miss 2D animation because the animated movies nowadays haven't done it for me especially the parting of the Red Sea. This movie also feeds into Ancient Egyptian obsession.

Suspiria (2018) - to me this movie should've gotten more accolades and everything because even though its a remake it still feels original; especially, compared to the Dario Argento '77 version. Again, it brings great comfort even with the horror elements and the soundtrack compares very well to the OG.

Black Beauty (1994) - I love horses and stories about horses. This movie hits all the correct spots for a good horse movie to be enjoyable. The story is so compelling plus using the legit horses instead of CGI monstrosities as stand-ins help a lot. I love a good tragic story with a happy ending then the humans are quite in the background but they serve the story.

Velvet Goldmine - anther Ewan McGregor classic but I watch this every Christmas Day since I got the DVD. It's weird about glam rock and lots of male and female nudity, but I wouldn't want anything less from it.

Bottle Shock - a good story about a Californian vineyard's wine that takes place in France and they end up winning the competition. Then also long-haired hippy Chris Pine with your typical snobby British Snob played by Alan Rickman. My favorite way to watch this is with a bottle of chardonnay and snacks.

Babe (1995) - final one! I love this one so much with all the drama behind the pig and the farmer. Him stubbornly accepting poor Babe then I also like of they don't hold back on how things are in the farming industry especially right at the beginning.

I have a lot of favorite films these are just generally my favorite to watch whenever I can and that I know are readily available. I've probably close to over 100 DVD's and have seen a lot more movies that I do find comforting.

[glorioussongwinner]

The Art of Creating the Perfect Christmas Gift Box

Christmas is a time of joy, love, and celebration—a season filled with traditions and memories that we hold close to our hearts. One of the most delightful aspects of the holiday is the joy of giving and receiving gifts. But with countless gift options available, it can sometimes feel overwhelming to find the perfect present. Enter the Christmas gift box—a thoughtful, personalized, and beautifully curated collection of items that brings an extra layer of joy to the act of gift-giving.

Why a Christmas Gift Box?

A Christmas gift box is more than just a bundle of gifts; it’s a creative way to show someone you care by curating multiple thoughtful items into a single, delightful experience. Whether you’re looking to spoil your loved ones or surprise a colleague, gift boxes provide a fantastic opportunity to offer a range of items that can be enjoyed over time.

Here are some reasons why a Christmas gift box makes an ideal present:

Personalization: Each box can be tailored to the recipient’s preferences, making the gift feel personal and meaningful.

Variety: A gift box allows you to include a mix of items, ensuring there’s something in it that the person will love.

Aesthetics: Beautifully packaged gift boxes create an exciting unboxing experience that makes the present even more memorable.

Flexibility: You can craft a gift box around almost any theme, from food and drink to self-care and hobbies.

Steps to Create the Perfect Christmas Gift Box

Choose a Theme To make the box cohesive, choose a central theme that reflects the recipient’s tastes or interests. Here are some popular Christmas gift box themes to consider:

Cozy Winter Essentials: Include fuzzy socks, a warm blanket, hot chocolate mix, and candles to create a cozy atmosphere.

Self-Care Spa Box: Opt for bath bombs, essential oils, body lotions, and a luxurious face mask.

Foodie Box: Pack gourmet snacks, artisan chocolates, homemade cookies, and perhaps a bottle of wine or hot cocoa.

Christmas Eve Box for Kids: Include pajamas, a holiday movie, a personalized Christmas ornament, and a classic holiday book.

Tech Lover’s Box: Curate gadgets like wireless earbuds, phone accessories, or a smart home device for tech enthusiasts.

Select the Right Box The container is just as important as the contents. Choose a sturdy and attractive box that reflects the festive spirit. Wooden crates, decorative baskets, or sturdy cardboard boxes wrapped in holiday paper are excellent choices.

Fill the Box with Gifts Once you have your theme and box selected, it’s time to start filling it! Ensure each item complements the theme and is arranged thoughtfully. Some tips:

Add a mix of big and small items for visual interest.

Use shredded paper, tissue paper, or fabric to create layers and protect fragile items.

Don’t overfill the box—leave some space to keep things looking neat and organized.

Personal Touches To make your gift box feel extra special, add personalized touches. Handwrite a Christmas card, include a photo, or add a custom ornament with the recipient’s name. Small details like this show that you’ve put thought and care into the gift.

Decorate and Wrap The presentation is key to making a lasting impression. Once your box is filled, you can add the finishing touches:

Tie it up with a festive ribbon or string.

Attach a gift tag or Christmas ornament for an added touch of holiday charm.

Add some small decorations, like sprigs of pine, cinnamon sticks, or a candy cane for a festive flair.

Pre-Made Gift Boxes: A Convenient Option

If time is limited or you’re not confident in creating your own, there are plenty of pre-made Surprise box available online. These curated boxes come in various themes and price ranges, saving you the hassle of sourcing individual items. Many companies also offer custom options where you can add personal items or choose specific themes to suit your recipient.

Popular Christmas Gift Box Ideas

To get you started, here are some popular ideas for different recipients:

For the Foodie: A gourmet box filled with artisanal cheeses, crackers, chocolates, and a bottle of fine wine.

For the Homebody: A box with cozy blankets, candles, tea blends, and a book or puzzle for quiet nights in.

For the Coffee Lover: A selection of high-quality beans, a French press, flavored syrups, and a mug personalized with their name.

For Kids: A Christmas Eve box with pajamas, reindeer-themed slippers, a hot chocolate set, and a holiday-themed toy or game.

Conclusion

The Christmas gift box is more than just a collection of items—it’s a carefully curated experience that speaks to the recipient’s personality, tastes, and interests. By thoughtfully selecting the contents, you can create a memorable and heartwarming gift that brings joy well beyond the holiday season. Whether you opt to craft one yourself or purchase a pre-made option, the beauty of a Christmas gift box lies in its ability to deliver a truly special and meaningful present that will be cherished.

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song iii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 

For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 

No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 

You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…

.

.

You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 

Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin

You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 

Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 

You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊

What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 

You didn’t have to wait long. 

Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁

Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 

Oh no. 

Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 

Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 

“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 

“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 

You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 

You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 

It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…

Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”

You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”

“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 

You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.

For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?

…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 

“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 

She had a point. 

“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 

“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  

On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 

“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 

Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 

Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 

“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 

“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 

“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 

“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 

“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 

“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 

“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 

You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 

“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 

She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 

Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”

“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 

“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”

You sniggered. “How about never?”

“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 

You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 

“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.

Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”

“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 

Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 

Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 

Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 

Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 

Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night 😅😂

Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 

.

.

Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 

“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 

You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 

“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 

“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”

She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 

“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.

“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 

“So, just bread then.” 

She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 

It didn’t help. 

What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 

You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 

“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 

You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 

“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 

“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”

She was the messy one.

.

.

Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 

The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 

In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 

“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We��ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”

His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 

You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”

He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 

You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 

He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.

As you turned to face him again, he smiled. “You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 

“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”

He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 

You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 

Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 

Oh.

.

.

You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 

Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 

You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…

Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 

Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 

His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 

The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 

“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 

Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 

That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 

“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 

You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.

You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 

“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 

He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…

It turned out he loved it though. 

“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 

“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 

He didn’t. 

“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 

You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can’t disclose that.” 

He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 

You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”

“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 

Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 

Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”

He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 

You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 

… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 

“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  

“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 

You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”

You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 

You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 

He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 

He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”

“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 

He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 

You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 

He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”

Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”

He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 

You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 

He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”

Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 

“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 

“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 

“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 

He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 

“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 

You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 

He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 

You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 

“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 

Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 

“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 

As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 

You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 

Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 

Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 

There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 

“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 

“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 

This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”

He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 

He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”

Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 

.

. 

After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 

You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 

Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 

“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 

“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 

You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 

“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 

You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 

“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 

“How come?”

He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 

That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 

A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”

He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”

“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 

“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 

“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 

“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  

Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 

“Did it put you off dating?” 

You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 

Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 

“You did…” 

“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 

You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 

“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 

He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 

It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”

He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 

You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  

Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 

“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 

He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 

You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 

Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 

Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 

Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 

You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 

He sighed. “On the cheek.”  

You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”

You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”

It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 

He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”

You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 

He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 

He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 

He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 

And he was. 

This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 

When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 

This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 

You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 

You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 

You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 

You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 

You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”

You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 

“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 

He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 

“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 

“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 

And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 

Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 

“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[arrowflier]

can you write ian cooking for mickey? like some really big fancy meal and mickey is impressed and also 🥰😳 but tries to act as if it's not a big deal and all whatever 👀

"Can I come into the fuckin' kitchen yet?" Mickey asked from the living room sofa. He'd been exiled from half of his own apartment for hours, now, and pestering Ian the entire time about when he'd be allowed back in.

"I just want a beer, Ian," he'd tried. Or, "Come on, I just wanna be in the same room as my husband."

But it was all to no avail. Because Ian, sequestered in the sweltering kitchen slaving over a hot stove for half the day, had a plan.

"Not quite!" he called back to Mickey, opening the oven door to peek at the dish inside. The top was perfectly browned, and he grabbed a misshapen oven mitt--Lip's gift to him last Christmas, his first attempt knitting anything with a thumb--and pulled it out.

Ian turned as he stepped back, kicking the oven door shut with his heel as he looked for somewhere to set the hot dish. But he couldn't find the fancy trivet Sandy had given them as a house-warming present.

"You're a couple of fancy west side queers now," she had said through a smirk when they unwrapped it from used butcher paper. "Can't be leavin' scorch marks all over the table."

They hadn't had the heart to tell her that they didn't actually own a table, yet.

Cursing under his breath as heat started to seep through Lip's uneven stitches, Ian spun again and let the dish clatter down onto the stovetop. Close enough.

"Come on man, I'm starvin'!" Mickey tried again, but Ian just rolled his eyes as he got out their two plates, two forks, and single serving spoon.

Well, it wasn't really their serving spoon, but what Debbie didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

He dished out two servings, making Mickey's on the heavier side. With one plate in hand and the other balanced awkwardly on his arm, he grabbed the bottle of wine and two plain glasses in his other hand and carefully made his way to the living room.

"Fuckin' finally," Mickey muttered when he saw him come around the corner, then, "you need some help with that, man?"

"Don't get up!" Ian ordered hurriedly. "Stay right there, I'm bringing it to you."

And so he did, albeit very slowly and constantly on the verge of dropping it all on their clean new floor. He managed to bend over just enough to set the wine and glasses on the coffee table, a little thing they had picked up off the curb when someone else moved out, and offered Mickey the first plate.

"What is this, some kinda special occasion?" Mickey asked, amused, as he took the offering. "Don't usually get couch-side service 'round here."

Normally, Ian would tease him right back. Something about worrying that those short legs wouldn't make the trip on their own, or that he didn't trust Mickey to wait for utensils if he got it himself.

But it was a special occasion, at least to Ian. It wasn't the first night in their apartment, not by a long shot, but it was the first one they were truly free to enjoy. No work, no familial obligations; just them and the meal Ian had made.

"Try it," Ian urged before Mickey could do more than peer down at his plate suspiciously. "I really think you'll like it?"

"You do, huh?" Mickey questioned, eyebrows raised. He poked a finger through the tomato garnish and into the bread crumbs that layered the top, hissed and pulled it back when he found the food still hot.

"What the fuck is this?" he asked. "Looks fuckin' fancy, man, you sure this is even food?"

Ian just smiled, and handed him a fork.

With one more narrow-eyed glance, Mickey accepted it, and dug in.

He lifted the forkful to his face, staring it down like an enemy. Lightly toasted crumbs were just the top layer, and once he had broken through the crust, pasta was revealed underneath, along with a stringy white substance that was almost sauce but not. The red of tomato and the green of chopped peppers peeked through, and Mickey frowned at the evidence of fruits and vegetables in his dinner.

But Ian was still smiling, and waiting. So Mickey closed his eyes, took a breath, and put the fork in his mouth.

His eyes popped back open in surprise.

"Ian," he breathed. "What the fuck is this?"

Ian beamed next to him, a veritable sun right there on the sofa despite their covered windows.

"Mac and cheese," he replied simply. "Mandy used to say she made it for you sometimes, when things were going good."

Mickey swallowed. Took another bite, chewed, and swallowed again.

"She did," he finally said through his third forkful. "But it didn't taste nothin' like this, man, what did you put in here? Crack?"

Ian laughed, then leaned over to pick up the wine off the floor and pour two glasses. He made to hand one to Mickey, rolling his eyes when Mickey hesitated.

"It's rose, Mickey," he said before his husband could ask. "And before you say that's gay, I know. But you sure seemed to like it at that gay party we went to, so drink up."

Mickey shrugged, and set his plate on his lap long enough to take the glass and a long sip of alcohol.

"So you like it then?" Ian asked hopefully. Like the way Mickey was shoveling it in wasn't answer enough.

"I was thinking of getting a plot in the local garden, you know," Ian continued. "So I could use our own stuff, next time, for seasoning."

"Sounds like a fuckin' plan, man," Mickey mumbled as he chewed. "Now are you gonna eat yours, or is that plate for me too?"

Still smiling wider than he thought he ever had--except maybe at their wedding, he supposed--Ian picked up his own plate, and dug in.

[theladyofdeath]

Another First Date {Fatherhood}

An extension of Oblivion. It’s not necessary to read the story first, but if you’d like to, here is the masterlist: Oblivion

A series of short stories that revolve around Cassian as a single father, raising his daughter, Lily.

Fatherhood {Oblivion Masterlist}

Cassian looked in the mirror and slowly shook his head.

He felt ridiculous.

It had been almost ten years since Cassian had been out on a date and he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. If it hadn’t been for Feyre and Elain’s constant asking of him to get himself back out there and be happy, he wouldn’t even be doing what he was about to do.

It wasn’t that Feyre and Elain wanted him to forget about Nesta. Instead, they insisted that he was lonely, even though he really wasn’t. He had no time to be lonely.

Lily kept him on his toes.

At nine-years-old, she kept him just as busy as she had when she was a newborn. Instead of changing dirty diapers and gifting her unending bottles, though, he was taking her to dance and soccer, helping her with homework, and bringing her and her friends to the park on playdates. 

But, after his sister-in-laws thought he should be doing more for himself, they had set him up.

He had a ton of emotions about it.

Nerves being at the top of the list.

Excitement from time to time.

An excessive amount of guilt. 

Which was ridiculous. Of course, he knew Nesta wouldn’t have minded him finding someone else. It had been nearly a decade since her death. By now, most people would have moved on and found someone new. 

Cassian just hadn’t been ‘most people’.

“You look nice, dad.”

Cassian spun around, not having heard his daughter creep into the doorway. Kiara, their golden retriever, sat by her feet.

“Yeah?” Cassian asked, looking back in the mirror. “I shouldn’t wear the red shirt?”

Lily shook her head, arms crossed. “Definitely the black.”

“Alright,” Cassian sighed. “Thanks, kid.”

Lily nodded. ‘Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome. While you were getting yourself all prettied-up, Aunt Lainy got here. She’s ordering pizza for me and Nora.”

Cassian nodded as he grabbed his wallet and keys from off the top of his dresser. He slowly faced his daughter. “Look, if you’re not okay with this-.”

Lily groaned and rolled her eyes. “Dad, I told you it's fine.”

“I know, I just-.”

Lily, apparently having heard enough, turned on her heels and walked away, Kiara keeping just behind her. He had asked Lily the week before if she would be okay with him going on a date.

And he had continued to ask her every day since.

She’d never seemed concerned about it, had told him to go and have fun. He then went on to go into detail about what dates entail, and she told him to please shut up when he told her he may be kissing some random woman.

He also told her that no one would ever replace her mother.

It was impossible. 

And every time Cassian had asked Lily if it was okay, she had told him it was.

So, here he was, feeling like an inexperienced teenager, about to go out on a blind date. Tanwyn worked with Feyre, and Cassian knew very little about her. All he knew is that she was nice and pretty and liked kids.

Cassian figured it was a good starting point. 

When he went downstairs, Elain, Nora, Lily, and Kiara were all on the couch together, turning on a movie. When Elain saw Cassian, she whistled. 

“Look at you, handsome,” she sang.

Lily and Nora covered their mouths and broke into a fit of giggles. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, as he reached the floor and headed toward the door. He stopped in the living room, though, and knelt down in front of Lily. “You’ll probably be asleep when I get home, so if that’s the case, I love you and goodnight.”

“I love you, too,” Lily beamed. “Now leave. It’s girls night.”

Cassian snorted and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. “Be good.”

“She’s always good,” Elain said, shooing him away. As he walked by her though, she whispered, “Have fun, Cass.” 

He would.

He would try, anyway. 

As he got into his truck and put Tanwyn’s address into his GPS, though, he felt like he was going to puke. A date. What did people even do on dates these days? Was romance still a thing, or was it all about sex?

Sex.

Mother’s tits, it had been a long time since Cassian had sex. He’d become quite friendly and familiar with his hand throughout the years, though.

That had been Rhysand and Azriel’s chime when he told them their wives were trying to set him up.

Look at it this way: even if it goes bad, at least you’ll get some.

As Cassian stopped at the stop sign at the end of his road, he felt the strong temptation to turn around and haul ass back home.

But, he knew that would only lead to a scolding from Elain, so he turned right and made his way toward the main road. 

Ten minutes later, he was pulling into Tanwyn’s driveway and regretting everything. 

Leaving his truck running, he strode to the front door, rang the doorbell, and waited.

He could hear hurried steps on the other side of the door, and then it was thrown open.

Feyre had been right - Tanwyn was pretty, and perhaps only a year or two younger than Cassian. She wasn’t much shorter than he was, with her long, tanned legs and long, brown hair. 

She smiled when she met Cassian’s eyes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Cassian said, then cleared his throat. “You look...nice.” 

She wore a red dress that showed off a generous amount of cleavage. 

“You look pretty good yourself,” she said, and stepped out onto the porch, shutting and locking her door behind her. “I’m Tanwyn.”

“Cassian,” he said, and held out his hand like he was at a damned job interview.

Tanwyn let out a quiet laugh before shaking his hand, delicately. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cassian, the gentleman he was, opened the passenger side door and helped Tanwyn up into his truck. He then got behind the wheel and put the truck into reverse.

“Feyre’s told me a lot about you,” Tanwyn said, when they began driving down the road. 

“Uh oh,” Cassian muttered. “All good things I hope.” 

Tanwyn nodded. “All good things.”

They fell into a silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, even though Cassian’s thoughts remained racing at a million miles an hour. 

What was she thinking?

What exactly had Feyre told her?

Was she aware that he kept glancing at her breasts?

It was going to be a long night.

They pulled into the restaurant and Tanwyn made a comment about how much she liked the place he’d chosen. It had been years since he’d been there, the last time being for a company Christmas party, but the food was good and it was upscale enough to be considered fancy. 

They sat in a corner and there was a candle lit between them. The waiter brought out a bottle of white wine, and Cassian wasted no time downing his glass before filling up again.

Just a little to take the edge off.

“You seem nervous,” Tanwyn said, at last, after the waiter brought them a basket of bread.

Cassian took a slice of bread out of the basket and buttered it up before he asked, “Exactly how much did Feyre tell you about me?”

Tanwyn’s eyes softened, and there it was.

The pity.

“I know about your past, if that’s what you’re referring to,” she said, and took a piece of bread for herself. “And I know you have a daughter, too. Lily, is it?”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, finally finding a subject he was comfortable talking about - his daughter, his love. “She’s almost ten, although she thinks she’s sixteen.” 

Tanwyn chuckled. “I get that. I don’t have kids, but I have a niece I’m close to. She’s the same age. Maybe we can get them together sometime.” 

Cassian nodded as he gave her a nice, gentle smile. “That sounds nice.”

The dinner went on like that. Tanwyn was kind, and she seemed genuine. There was nothing about her that was a turn off, nothing that seemed strange or out of place.

Which is why, when Cassian brought her back home after dinner and dropped her off, he walked her up to her front door and leaned down, pressing his lips softly to hers.

The kiss lasted a few seconds, and it was nothing heated, nothing intense.

It was….nice.

But that’s all it was. Just nice. 

When they pulled apart, Tanwyn smiled. “Goodnight, Cassian.”

“Goodnight,” he said, and she walked inside.

So much for getting some. 

Cassian made his way back to his truck and got inside, and drove back across town to his house. There was a soft light on in the living room, but the rest of the house was dark. He looked at the clock on his dashboard. It was just after ten. 

When he opened the door, Elain was sitting on the couch by the lamp on the side table, watching some horrid reality t.v. show. As soon as she heard the door, though, she was looking over her shoulder, brows raised. “You’re home early.” 

Cassian chuckled as he strode to the couch and plopped down next to his sister-in-law. “Yeah, don’t tell your husband that.”

Elain smiled, but she nodded as she looked back toward the t.v. “So, how’d it go?”

Cassian thought for a minute about the right way to answer such a loaded question, but he eventually settled on, “It was okay.”

“Okay?” Elain repeated. 

“Nice,” Cassian pushed. “It was nice.”

She looked over at him, then. “Will there be a second date?”

Cassian let out a breath through his nose and shrugged. “I don’t think so, Lainy.”

“Why not?” she asked, only curiosity in her voice. “She’s nice, and gorgeous, and judging by the pink lipstick on the corner of your mouth, she’s into you, too.”

Cassian hesitated as he reached up and wiped off his mouth. Sure enough, on the back of his hand was the softest tint of pink. He laughed, quietly. “She was nice. And, yeah, she’s beautiful….but, it just didn’t feel right, you know?”

"Because of Nesta?” Elain asked, resting her head on the back of the couch.

“No,” Cassian answered. “Yeah. Both yes and no.”

Elain just watched him, waiting for him to continue, patiently. 

“There was just no spark, you know?” Cassian said, at last, staring absently at the wall beside the t.v. “With Nesta….it was like this all-consuming fire. Constant flame, passion….” He shook his head. “Every time I even thought about her I would get so weak in the knees that I couldn’t function, and my mind….would just lose all train of thought. When I was with her, even when we were just kids, starting to date, I had no doubt in my mind that she was the one that I wanted. Even after the years we spent apart, I never lost sight of that, never stopped feeling that way about her. Even now, after ten years without her, Elain, every time I think about her…” His words trailed off as a lump caught in his throat and his vision blurred. He cleared his throat, and even though Elain didn’t push for him to continue, he said, quietly, “Nothing and no one can ever compare to what we had. And, I know relationships aren’t meant to be compared and that I could probably get together with Tanwyn, or someone else, and be happy enough. But, when you had a love like Nesta and I had….everything else just seems….small. Insignificant. Underwhelming.” He looked at Elain and he saw what was left of a tear that had fallen down her pale cheek. “I loved too greatly to love again.” 

Elain opened her mouth to speak, surely to protest, but Cassian shook his head. “And I’m okay with that. I’m at peace with it. You and Feyre worry too much. I’m not lonely. I have a great job, a great family, and an incredible kid,” he said, tossing his arm around Elain and pulling her into his side. “As for sex, Tanwyn was too nice for a one night stand. Good thing my hand is great company.”

Elain laughed, pushing off of him. “I can always count on you to ruin a moment with something inappropriate.”

“Yeah, that was an Azriel and Rhys comment, wasn’t it,” Cassian said, even though he was grinning. “True, though.”

“TMI,” Elain commented, shaking her head. She stood, taking her empty wine glass with her to the kitchen. “Wine?”

“Considering it’s mine?” Cassian chuckled as she disappeared around the corner. “Yeah, sure.”

She came back a moment later with two full glasses. “I thought I’d crash on the couch tonight since Nora is already asleep with Lil in her room. Azriel won’t be back from his trip to Adriata until tomorrow afternoon.”

“He needs a new job,” Cassian muttered, taking the glass from her outstretched hand. “Travels too much.”

Elain hummed in agreement, but the job paid well, and Cassian knew that’s why none of them ever complained. 

Cassian kicked off his shoes and watched crappy t.v. with his sister, instead of having spent the night with a beautiful, single woman. Elain didn’t push him any further about it, even though Cassian was fully aware that she most likely had a thousand more questions.

He had meant what he’d said, though. 

I loved too greatly to love again.

His relationship with Nesta had been more than a relationship. She had been his soulmate, and when two hearts connected on the level that theirs had, there was no going back to those simple, mundane relationships.

They just didn’t compare.

And Cassian was okay with that.

He wouldn’t trade what he’d had with Nesta for anything, even though their time together was cut far too short. He’d do it all again, even if it led to the same outcome.

Every damn time.

It was better to have loved Nesta Archeron and lost than to have never loved her at all.

[mariamermaid]

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Young Sirius Black x fem Potter!Reader

Summary:  When puberty suddenly hits you and your brother´s best friend realizes his interest in you

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: drinking underaged, mentions of smoking, swearing

A/N: Inspired by Anne-Marie´s song, but not really following the lyrics

 It happened from your summer break to your fifth year in Hogwarts, for your brother James it was his sixth year.

It was, what you would call the perfect summer; You had spent it with your friend Sarah in Spain, her family owned a stunning little cottage near Barcelona. The golden beach and the hot sun brought you back with a stunning tan and even a few freckles decorated your face now. Due to many trips to the mountains and the regular exercise of swimming, playing beachball and evenings dancing on the streets beneath moonlight, you had toned up and lost some body fat. A late, maybe even a drunk decision to get a new haircut and the obsessive amount of the new clothes, that completely reinvented your sense of fashion.

The time abroad away from your family felt like a gasp of freedom to you. You loved your parents and even your brother James, if he wasn´t annoying you, dearly, but that summer you felt grown-up and independent. You found new assets, hobbies, interests and confidence to further follow them. You hadn´t planned it, but your glow up transformation was born.

You came back just a few days before school was starting and somehow, you even looked forward to it. A new found motivation to become the best version of yourself pushed you to new limits. Not even the fact that Sirius Black had moved in with your family, could shatter your positive attitude.

 “Mom, where did Dad put my luggage, I brought a few souvenirs I wanted to give you!”, you asked while looking through your backpack for a hair tie. Your mother, who had already settled back in the kitchen, her natural habitat, to get some iced tea, shrugged.

“I don´t know, darling, didn´t he put them in your room already?”

Nevertheless, it felt good to be home again.

Your father entered the dining and kitchen area from outside, a suitcase of yours in each of his hands. Just as he was about to call your brother for help, James jumped down the staircase and patted your father on the shoulder. “In a second, dad?”

James, who always had been taller than you, eyed your astonished. “Who is that girl in our home? Is that even my sister anymore?” You chuckled as he gave you a quick hug.

“Shut up James, you´re just jealous that you´re still pale like a snow owl!”

While the two of you started your casual process of sibling bickering, Sirius carefully stepped down the stairs as well. From the back, he observed your figure.

All those years, you had been James´s sister or the younger Potter, but for the first time, you didn´t perish next to James. Actually, you overshone him. James, who was athletic due to the Quidditch practice, still had a crooked and flabby posture. It didn´t help that he was used to swagger through the halls of Hogwarts. But you? You remained with your head held high, your shoulders relaxed and your tanned skin freshly glowing.

“Y/n.”

You turned to find Sirius starring at you; you couldn´t point his look, but you gave him a polite, regardless smile. “Sirius”, you greeted him. Your voice wasn´t rude or cold, still it didn´t match the voice you´d use to talk to James. “Or should I call you brother number two?”

A painfully small grin was brought to his lips. Over the course of years, the two of you barely exchanged words. But yet, you were a constant part of his life. Yes, he had spent many Christmas holidays with your family. He most definitely spent more time with James than you. You were his best friend’s sister, right?

But why did it suddenly bother him, that you called him brother?

“Y/n, Sirius is staying in the guest room from now on. We didn´t use the room anyway, did we?”

The Potter residency had an altogether combined number of four floors; the basement with storage and washing area. The main floor with kitchen, dining and living room, leading to the outdoor terrace and garden and your parent´s bedroom. The second floor with James´s bedroom, your father´s study room and of course, the guest bedroom, which now belonged to Sirius. Last but not least the attic, which was renovated to your room. A point which had caused James and you to argue for several years; the attic was an amazing room and much larger than other bedrooms in the house. James lost the argument due to very weak points. To quote your mother, James spent more time outside doing mischief than actually staying in his room.

You were more relieved than ever to have not only your own room, but basically your own floor. You didn´t mind Sirius, but you needed your space and you didn´t wanted to be involved with their pranks.

“James, help me with my suitcase, will you?” You exclaimed, but your brother already made his way to the kitchen. By his moving pattern, you knew he was up to no good.

“Mom, don´t you and Dad usually spent the weekend at Cindy´s?” You couldn´t help but rolling your eyes at his comment. The last weekend before school begins; James´s house party.

Your parents knew he´d like to bring friends over at that weekend, they didn´t know about half of the school coming and the amount of beer and fire whisky.

“James?” You sighed, but your brother was pursuing his own goals.

“I´ll help you”, Sirius suddenly spoke up and hurried next to you. He took the suitcases without much effort and immediately started carrying them upstairs. On the stairs, you passed the Black boy to open the door to your room for him. Sirius noticed your swift movement and was reminded of James playing Quidditch. Clearly you both inherited that gene. Sirius put down the luggage and couldn´t help but eye your room with growing eyes. The high wooden ceiling, which was decorated with fairy lights and pictures and painting on the walls. You had a secret talent to be good at drawing and detailed sketches of plants, you had learned about in school, hung over your desk. Pictures of you and James at the age of toddlers and family portraits from Christmas. In one of them was even Sirius. You realized how he didn´t leave your room and eyed him warry as he starred at the pictures.

“I´ve never been to your room.”

“Don´t get used to it.” You heaved your suitcase up on your bed to start the sorting out process and Sirius turned away from the pictures, raising his eyebrow. “It´s my room.”

His eyes glided over the silk sheets of your bed and he couldn´t help but wonder, how you looked when waking up in the morning by rays of sunshine falling through the windows. Have you watched him playing Quidditch with James from those windows? Ever so slightly he shook his head to get rid of that thought. You´re James´s sister, he reminded himself.

There weren´t really rumors about you in school, unlike James´s reputation. But there was one thing Sirius knew all too well; you were not to mess with. What your brother inherited in talent, was put together with an almost deadly preciseness. He saw you battling a student in his year once, you won without even breaking a sweat.

“The new hair suits you”, he suddenly added before leaving your room and closing the door behind him. Your mother had pin pointed every single detail that had changed about you, but you´d never guessed that heartbreaker Sirius Black would comment on it…

 James Potter was awfully good at talking people into doing what he desired. And James Potter desired a more memorable house party each year, thanks his ego. Previously, you had spent the weekend at Sarah´s, but after an entire summer, you were left home as well. Against your own anticipation, you didn´t mind. Was it the fact, that you had partied and danced more the entire summer than anyone could imagine? Maybe.

“Y/n, you look out for James, don´t let him do stupid things!” Like a house party? Lingered on your tongue, but you smiled bitter sweet. “It´s hard to look out for somebody as stupid as James.”

Your mother wrinkled her eyebrows, but your dad let out a laughing grunt. “They´ll be fine”, he reassured your mother, before kissing you on top of your head and heading out.

“It´s hard to look out for somebody as stupid as James”, James voice filled the air while he imitated you. He and Sirius came down to the living room, a box of somewhat decorations in their hands.

James was everything but stupid, even though there were times, where you questioned his IQ. He took out old wine bottles with candles in them and packed away your mom´s favorite cutlery and vase. One thing less to worry.

“Tell me, Y/n, do the Spain kiss good?” He continued to mock you.

“Better than the British”, you answered sweetly. A sour taste spread in Sirius mouth, but James pressed his jaw together. He hadn´t expected the answer from you, his sweet innocent little sister.

“Should I worry about you tonight?” He asked a little more serious now, but you ruffled through his precious locks. “Why? Afraid I´ll crash your party?”

“Who are you and what have you done to my baby sister?” He yelled after you, while you left the room to go upstairs, chuckling.

The marauders were first to arrive; Moony, Wormtail and obviously Padfoot and Prongs himself. Remus also brought Lily Evans, your brother´s secret, not so secretly girlfriend. You watched as they arrived one by one from the window at your desk. The golden boy and his gang, all complete.

The past few days, you had taken your time to do whatever you pleased. Your mother didn´t force any of you to have breakfast or lunch together, due to the fact that you all had different sleeping patterns. You had spent it at your desk, getting ready for school, journaling about your holidays, sorting out pictures and old clothes. In the garden helping your mother put together bouquets of flowers or riding your bike around your favorite trails and sceneries. Really you hadn´t seen much of your brother or Sirius.

You took your time getting ready, the Marauder´s already starting off with drinking. You had invited Sarah and when you saw her and her older sister, who was in James´s year, arriving, you finally made your way downstairs. James, Sirius and Remus were grouped around the kitchen aisle, debating sport games with three more guys from Gryffindor. Matt Atkins, Hogwarts second bad boy after Sirius, eyes suddenly grew big as he ran dry. His remarkably sharp jaw fell down and his mouth open. “Who is she?”

You casually strolled down the stairs, even wearing some strapped heels together with a new dress from Spain. A rather hard punch let Matt yelp, James annoyed eyes bringing him to his knees. “That´s my sister”, he muttered with his teeth grinding.

The golden boy was about to be pushed from his throne by his own sister.

You gave the group of boys a knowing smirk before welcoming Sarah, who was glowing with the same tan as you. “Seems like Spain has been muy beneficioso per nos.”

Your laughter filled the air, as not only the marauder but also several other male creatures watched the two of you chat. “How´s Gabriel?” You asked her instead and Sarah blushed. Her apparent summer fling had made it clear, that his feelings were a little stronger than just a fling.

“He wrote me a letter with a poem”, she blushed. Before continuing the topic, a boy joined the two of you. “Ladies, can I get you something to drink?”

James was quick to appear next to you, a sudden wave of protectiveness had overcome him. “She´s my sister and she doesn´t drink.”

“Yes, yes she does.”

Lily, who had joined her boyfriend, snickered at your response. James watched you wide eyed, as did the boy, walking to the kitchen with Sarah after dropping the comment; “Not from you though.”

Sirius, who´s blood alcohol level was already high enough, started smirking as you approached. The feelings he had pushed back and buried, arose in him.

“Y/n, care for a drink?” “Yes, Black, I do.”

As he fished two cups for you and Sarah, the group starred at you. Matt Atkins was first to speak up again. His initial shock about Sirius approaching you, was put back after he remembered that he lived with you and James now. Remus and Peter watched the scene, secretly exchanging a bet of how quickly you would decline Atkins.

“So, Y/n, tell me how was Spain?”

You leaned on the counter top, a trick that had earned you free drinks in bars before, and smiled.

“Hot.”

Sirius passed you the cups and you nodded thanking. His senses tingled, an explosion rushing through his veins. He wasn´t to construe it the past few days, but drunk words are sober thoughts and Sirius´s attraction towards you, grew with each second. Peter slid the money to Remus, Matt Atkins had no chance.

The party continued into the evening and quickly into the night. You were sure that at least 50 people were there, with a few outside maybe more. James, who didn´t enjoy himself as much as he´d like to, was also too stubborn to admit it. You didn´t like how he watched, almost babysitted you, lingering ready to scare away any potential boy flirting. It was until Lily finally swept in and took his mind off you.

Outside remained a small bonfire, which was coming to an end, but you still decided to catch some fresh air. You had more cups than your brother knew about, but he was kissing Lily in the corner and didn´t realize your slight staggering.

James wasn´t stupid, but stupid enough to completely miss the fact that his own best friend was falling in love with you. And he was following you outside.

“Y/n Potter, you surprise me.” Sirius voice was low and a little rough, which was explained as he pulled out a cigarette. You took another sip of who knew what mixture and smiled innocently at him. “Why´s that, Black?”

You never called him Black before, until this summer. An unconscious defense mechanism.

It had taken Sirius five days after your initial arrival to realize that he´d liked you way more than he should and now there was no turning back. He was acting on pure instinct now and so did you. But your instinct told you, that Sirius Black was a heartbreaker.

“What do want, Black?” You asked whispering as he slowly came closer, his hand reaching up to tuck back strands of your hair. This was dangerous, but you liked playing with fire. “You.”

Your laugh was bitter.

“We're nothing more than friends. You're not my lover, more like a brother. I´ve known you since we were like ten.”

You left him behind in the approaching cold from the night and the dying fire. Sirius cursed at himself and ruffled through his hand. “Fuck!”

How could he have been so stupid? You were his best friend´s sister! You were James´s sister! Of course, you didn´t see him in any romantic way and now he not only embarrassed himself to the bone, but probably ruined any kind of friendship with you. He threw the leftover cigarette into the fire, there was only one solution left; alcohol.

 Don't mess it up, talking that shit

Only gonna push me away, that's it!

When you say you love me, that make me crazy

Here we go again

 Sirius Black was astonishing good in hiding feelings and even better at drowning them. At least for the next hour or so. That was until the music box suddenly played a Spanish song with a typical reggae beat and laughing, you pulled Sarah onto the dancefloor in the middle of the living room. Oh, how you had learned to swing your hips at the rhythm.

James was burning in fury and he wanted to punch every single pair of eyes laying on your figure. Luckily, he couldn´t and much too quick for your dismay, the song ended. The room echoed in applause and howlers, and giggling you left the stage with Sarah. The two of you were used to being drunk together and lazily you found your seat on the bathroom floor.

“James isss going to kill youuuu”, Sarah laughed as she not so gracefully, kneeled onto the floor. It didn´t help that after you sat down at the brim of the bathtub, fell over crackling.

“Oh my god!” Sarah suddenly exclaimed startled. You leaned forward surprised, legs still hanging over the brim. “What?”

“We don´t have anything to drink anymoreeee! I´ll be back in a second, just stay here!”

You leaned back, head against the wall, softly humming in response. “I don´t even think I´m able to leave, I´ll wait!” For a few seconds, you closed your eyes; enjoying the buzz of the liquor and the music in the background. You heard the door open and close again.

“Merlin Sarah, you´re flying when it comes to-.“ It wasn´t Sarah, it was Sirius. You eyed him with furrowed brows. “Did you at least get me something to drink?”

He had a cup in his hands and eyed it, pondering to give it to you, or drink it himself. But you leaned forward, grabbing his arm and then snatching the drink from his fingers. He found himself starring into your big eyes, not wanting to look away.

“Don´t you have enough boys outside to bring you drinks?” He asked and you shrugged while taking a big sip. “But you´re here, aren´t you?” The sentence made his heart beat quicker.

“Don't go look at me with that look in your eye”, you then added and avoided his glance again.

“Why not?”

“You know why, but apparently you really ain't going away without a fight.”

He suddenly turned to you, pushing one of his hands against the wall, the other one trailing down to your neck. His fingers brushed against your skin and you felt goosebumps crawling down your spin. He was leaning, yes hovering above you and his eyes wandered back and forth from your eyes to your lips. Stubbornly, you looked up to him.

“You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite. Haven't I made it obvious?” You pushed yourself a little up from the bathtub, your face only inches away. But the look on your face was stern and certain. “Haven't I made it clear? Want me to spell it out for you?

F-R-I-E-N-D-S”

Sarah pushed open the door and rolled her eyes, she had obviously noticed the boy´s attention towards you. “Back off, Black.”

Sirius was caught off guard by her, which gave you space and time to pull yourself out of the tub, leaving him sitting there.

 The night only slowly continued after your clashing in the bathroom. Remus watched his friend with plaintive eyes. He had realized the silence and even more oblivious, his sad stares into your direction. It wasn´t hard to guess really, but he understood his reticent mood. You were his best friends’ little sister and he knew, James would kill for you. If anyone were to break your heart and if that anyone was Sirius, the friendship could be over.

On the other hand, there was one thing Remus knew, Sirius had never acted like this around a girl.

“You shouldn’t give up yet.” Sirius glanced back at him and rolled his eyes.

“She´s sees me as a friend, I´m like a brother to her.”

“You don´t dance like this in front of your friend. Y/n and James both know how to get the things they want. It´s probably a family disorder”, Remus chuckled. But he became stern again, laying a hand on his friend´s back. “She´s playing with you, you know it. And I have to admit, she plays better than you, Padfoot. You liked this girl way before, before the summer, before she started flirting with you today.”

“I didn´t-“

“Yes, you did. Or why did you stress out about getting her a Christmas and birthday gift every year since knowing James? Why did it bother both you and James, about Kevin making that remark last year? You broke his nose, in case you forgot.”

Remus was right, he was way too often for Sirius taste. He liked you more than a friend from the second he laid eyes on you. He swore himself to protect you, but now he was the endangerment of hurting you and it scared him.

People left the party; it was past 3.a.m. and Lily started putting away empty cups. He knew Sarah would sleep at the Potter house tonight and just in second, he caught sight of you carrying a blanket upstairs. “You´re the best, Moony and I hate you for it.”

He hurried up the stairs and caught you just in front of your room.

“Y/n, wait!”

You sighed heavily. “Sirius, I´m tired and Sarah´s laying on my bathroom floor throwing up.”

He tried to remember every formal etiquette ever taught to him while establishing and taking together his bravery. Hundreds, yes thousands of pranks and yet, he never had been this nervous. You eyed him wary. “Have you got no shame? You looking insane. Here we go again.”

“I´m sorry for acting like a dick.”

The apology took you a step back, surprised.

“Don't go look at me with that look in your eye.”

His tongue brushed against his lip. “Why not, Y/n? Afraid to admit it?”

“For Merlin´s Sake, get that shit inside your head, Sirius! We´re just friends.”

His hand lingered on the wall to your back. It was the second time he had encircled you, but this time around, you didn´t see an outlet. Maybe you didn´t want one either. You felt his breath tingling against your skin and against your anticipation, the scene felt intimate and fragile to you.

“I like you, Y/n. I´ve liked you for a while now and I suppressed it. You´re right, I´m heartbreaker, and I knew, if I was to break yours, I wouldn´t be able to live with myself.”

You felt your shaky breathing, the dim light coming from downstairs barely gave enough away.

“You made it obvious. You made it very clear. But I wanted- needed you to know this; you were and never will be just a friend to me.” He gulped, lowering his glance.

“And I´m sorry, if that´s going to push you away.”

You dropped the blanket to the ground, throwing your hands around his neck and pulling him down. The kiss was passionate, but dripping like honey; sweet and slowly. His hands grabbed your waist and you inhaled his deep musky scent.

You leaned away from him with caution, sighing. “Sarah´s vomiting and I´m making out, I´m a terrible friend.” Sirius chuckled lowly, his nose brushing against yours again.

“I´m glad we´re more than friends then.”

[bellshells]

Do Me No Wrong Part One

Part one of Do Me No Wrong, this is just entirely too big and too self serving to be one post. I guess we could call this a slow-burn now? I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and cannot wait to share part two with you! Pairing: Severus Snape x Fem!Reader x Remus Lupin Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smut (Masturbation, Penetrative sex), Angst(?), Suggested Polyamorous Themes Word Count: 10.7k+

  It appeared to be at first glance quite an innocent and innocuous start to the spring term. The castle had been abuzz from October to Christmas after Sirius Black had encroached the defences and found his way to Gryffindor Tower. Luckily, The Fat Lady had performed her duty and not allowed him entry; but that did nothing to quell the whispers of fear and excitement that reverberated off the ancient stone walls. You had found it difficult to look Remus in the eye. When he was present for meals that is. You had known him whilst you were a student- albeit Remus and his friends (Sirius included) had been four years older and far more important than to ever cast even a cursory glance in your direction. But still the fact remained that the four of them along with Potter and Pettigrew had been more like brothers than friends, everyone knew that. It must be immensely difficult to know that your best friend; your supposed brother in arms had escaped from the most secure facility this side of the wizarding world and had successfully broken in to the second most secure facility to murder one of your students. Not only that, the son of your other best friend who also died because of this man.

  You supposed that’s why, that first night that Remus appeared in the Great Hall, sandy hair limp around his face and dark circles under his eyes, you cleared your throat and offered him a smile. Remus returned it tightly, his eyes tired and glassy as he took his seat next to you. He smelled terrible, you turned your head to the side as inconspicuously as you could and muttered a spell under your breath, in an instant the smell was gone and although you assumed Remus would be none the wiser, you noticed as he gave a small glance in your direction. It was only when Severus appeared at the far end of the table that you noticed any change in Remus’ posture. He seemed to stiffen slightly, his chin raising in silent defiance as his hand reached greedily toward his goblet. The few interactions you had shared with Severus since you joined the Hogwarts teaching staff had done nothing to change your opinion of him. He was cold and distant when you were children and he remained unchanged these years later. It had been more than a surprise when he appeared as the new potion’s professor for your seventh year, it had only felt like five minutes since he had been a student himself, yet there he was; not so much fresh-faced as stony. He had remained as he always had; moody and unapproachable. Although, you had imagined that a man in his mid-thirties would have accumulated some conversational skills, it appeared that that had either passed Severus by, or he had deigned it unworthy of his time. In any case, you found it easier to keep out of his way, and in turn, Severus returned the favour. It almost seemed a shame. He had always come across as someone with a brilliant mind and therefore would have interesting and insightful opinions, but it had become clear very early on that if he did, he chose not to share them. Instead, you sought information or rather, gossip about him from the usual sources of Pomona and Minerva. Minerva, not readily able to forget your time as her student had refused to participate at first, but you learned swiftly that a bottle of mead and a muggle vinyl just might do the trick. Severus, a perpetual bachelor, still guarded even though the war had long since ended, nonetheless had piqued your interest almost immediately. It became apparent though, that you were indeed barking up the wrong tree.

  Remus seemed more comfortable after a while. He exchanged a few pleasantries with Hagrid as the bearded man made a clumsy attempt to request help in warding his hippogriff’s new lodging outside of his hut. Remus conceded to take a look, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes confirmation to Hagrid, and the games-keeper seemed content with that. You settled comfortably into the silence that fell over your side of the table. You often chose to sit on the very end, it made it easier to make a swift escape back to your chamber if needs be. You weren’t a head of house, neither did you teach a core subject, you had few Arithmancy students and so you found your evening often free. Not tonight though. You kept one eye on the headmaster and one eye on your muggle watch affixed to your left wrist. The ticking by of the seconds seemed arduously slow as your empty plate sat mockingly in front of you. Out of the corner of your eye, Pomona leaned forward in her chair and waved a hand in your direction. Glancing at the stout woman, she wore an excited grin. She was almost giddy as she tapped her wrist impatiently, an idiosyncrasy she had acquired from you. You bit your lip to stop the laugh that built in your chest and returned your gaze to your empty plate.   “Big plans?” A soft voice asked. Remus looked almost cheerful as he turned his attention to you from Pomona who was now practically tugging at Minerva’s sleeve like a child would do with their mother. You noticed how he seemed more like himself, the dark circles still prevalent under his green eyes, but his cheeks were flushed with pink.   “Oh yes. There’s a bottle of firewhisky with my name on it.” You replied, “I hear the Broomstick’s calling my name, if only this meal would just bloody end.” Remus sniggered and leaned toward you conspiratorially.   “I should have known alcohol would be involved. Nobody looks this happy on a Thursday…unless they have a date.” Remus whispered, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and you placed a hand on his shoulder.   “Ah, someone has clearly never been for a drink with the two biggest gossips this castle has ever seen.” You gesture to where Minerva is subtly swatting Pomona away with an affectionately stern look. “It’s amazing the things you find out.” Bringing your goblet to your lips, the tartness of the wine brought a tingling from your tongue to the tips of your toes as Remus watched you. You considered the man before you, handsome and rugged. It was impossible to ignore the dramatic scars that littered his face and hands, but with the evocation of sympathy they withdrew, was an air of mystery that was almost intoxicating. Was he dangerous, or just very unlucky? Remus seemed to take note of your appraisal of him, whether he was amused or intrigued, his face didn’t betray him. Only the slight narrowing of his eyes told of a deeper thought held within.   “And what might one learn from two inscrutable gossips?” He said, his voice low. You felt an all too familiar feeling in the base of your chest, the feeling of boisterousness as you began to gently flirt with Remus. The dishevelled man from earlier almost entirely forgotten.   “That would be telling, Professor.”

  Remus looked slowly from your eyes to your lips and back, you had danced this dance before and knew how it would end; sweaty and sated more than likely. You smirked at the thought and reclined slightly in your chair, allowing Remus’ gaze to travel with you. You had barely noticed the students rise along the stretched pews as Albus stepped down from the High Table and moved languidly towards the now open doors. You stood too, now conscious of the hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at their teachers for permission to leave. Minerva nodded curtly to the crowd and the students began to noisily disperse to their respective common rooms. You took advantage of the distraction to slip away from the hall, there is after all, the most fun in the chase. You pondered silently to yourself as you dressed and made your way to the courtyard; if the flirtatious nature of your conversation with Remus had been by design a distraction technique of his own. He had seemed in a sorry state when he had arrived that evening, having been absent for the best part of a week. Alongside that, he had never much taken an interest in you beyond the professional up until that point and whilst you enjoyed the interaction, you weren’t convinced.

  Minerva was the first to join you, her emerald cloak snatched tightly to her chest in the brisk evening. She rolled her eyes as she approached you, a grimace settling on her face as she boldly lifted your wrist to her face and checked the time under the moonlight.   “She’s hounded me all evening to get out of the castle, its typical that she would be late.” Minerva sniffed as she folded her arms across her chest. You laughed once in agreement and enquired of her day, this earned another eye roll from the older witch confirming your suspicions that a stiff drink would be in order. Pomona came bounding out of the darkness, her hat slightly skewwhiff in her hurry and her breathless apology as she approached was all that was said before the three of you began towards Hogsmeade. The Three Broomstick’s was busy, busier than you had anticipated it to be on a Thursday in the middle of January. You craned your neck to see an available table, Pomona doing the same.   “Well, this simply won’t do.” Minerva muttered as she strode towards the bar. Madame Rosmerta gave a wry smile as she saw the three of you approach, she gestured over into the far corner where a single man sat nursing a tumbler of a russet looking liquid. You quirked an eyebrow as the man cheerfully lifted his glass to the three witches in welcome, Pomona nearly squealed with excitement as she bounced over to him. Minerva, who remained in her spot groaned. “Is there to be no reprieve?”

  Remus gestured to the three empty seats at his table with a wide smile. You shook your head in disbelief as you slowly sank into the waiting chair opposite him. He looked far better than he had done earlier that evening, he seemed to have bathed and shaved and appeared rather pleasant looking as he waved to Rosmerta and mimed a bottle and four glasses.   “Ladies, what a most welcome surprise!” Remus grinned wolfishly, his face seemed perfectly amiable, but his eyes glistened with something else, a glee that betrayed a thought that maybe their flirtation wasn’t as innocent as you previously had thought.   “If I’d have known you were coming Remus, I would have worn my good hat!” Pomona said with a smile, her cheeks rosy from the chill outside.   “You look positively radiant, Pomona.” Remus crooned; the plump witch’s face alight with the warmth of the compliment. She pat Remus’ hand affectionately and readily accepted the glass that was placed in front of her. “Allow me.” Remus poured two fingers of firewhisky into the three empty glasses and raised his own in a toast. “To unexpected meetings.” The sound of the clinking of glass reverberated through your body, his fingers electric against yours as they touched in a fleeting moment. Your breath hitched in your throat, it shocked you how your cheeks began to warm, and your stomach began to do small flips. Remus’ eyes, now more golden than green never left your face as if in silent appraisal of his effect on you. He seemed satisfied with the reaction as he smirked into his glass and allowed his attention to be captured by Minerva as she asked about his leave of absence.

  It wasn’t until your return journey to the castle that Remus initiated any further physical contact with you. The evening had passed how they usually do, the three friends exchanging stories and conspiring, laughing lots and drinking more. Now, feeling like your body was filled more with whisky than blood did Remus offer his arm to you. You took it gratefully, the two older women huddled together further ahead on the road as the snow began to fall upon the already picturesque village. With your hand in the crook of his elbow, Remus guided you over the unsteady cobbles only laughing lightly when you nearly lost your footing. His fingers found yours and although this could be perceived as a perfectly practical way in ensuring your safety, his touch seemed to burn your skin; it sent heat right the way through you. You were sure your heartbeat was audible to him, as it pounded aggressively in your ears as you moved closer into him, his torso flush with yours. You snuck a glance under your eyelashes up into the face of Remus Lupin, famed friend of two dead men and a mass murderer. His scars were silver in the moonlight, his face calm he weathered the terrain. You wanted to say something, anything to him; but nothing came. Instead, you continued to allow him to guide you while you peered up at this enigma of a man.

  Minerva searched over her shoulder when you approached the school grounds, satisfied that she could see you safely behind her, she waved goodbye. The snow was falling heavily now, thick spirals of white stuck in your hair, landing on your lips and freezing you to the core. You removed your hand from Remus’ grasp and waved back, Pomona beckoning Minerva inside to the warmth, no doubt to have a nightcap in the Gryffindor mistress’ office. Alone for the first time, Remus ushered you along the path of the courtyard to the covered corridor overlooking the lake which had this week begun to thaw, although with the sudden frost this night, it seemed unlikely now.   “You were right,” Remus stated after a while, his hands wound their way to his pockets, and he lifted himself onto the balls of his feet in an attempt to gain warmth in movement. When you didn’t answer, he licked his lips. “About how informative those two are. I’ve got enough dirt on people to have my lessons covered for weeks.” He grinned again, this time you noticed, it reached his eyes. You wondered whether Remus needed this as much as you did. It’s easy to let yourself get caught up in teenage drama when you’re drowning in it, but you suspected for him it must be something more. It wasn’t your place to pry of course, and Remus didn’t offer to divulge but you felt content in having potentially done a good deed.   “I’m sure your formal invitation to join us next week will be on your desk in the morning, if Pomona has anything to do with it.” You laughed and turned your back to the lake, it seemed far easier to keep your head held up straight if you leaned against the stone wall. Remus seemed to notice this and immediately reached his arms out to steady you.   “Never mind that, looks like someone will be dropping in to see Poppy in the morning.” He retorted as he attempted to stop your swaying. You had thought that the cold might sober you up, but that mixed in with a sudden overwhelming tiredness has left you almost dead on your feet.   “That’s the beauty of teaching an elective course,” you managed to get out as Remus near pulled you along the corridors, “My timetable is pretty sparse on Fridays. No lessons until after lunch.” You said smugly. Your eyes were fully closed now, if you were able and alone, you probably could have just set up camp here on the floor and been perfectly comfortable. But alas, Remus pushed onwards.

  A distant miaow stopped you dead in your tracks, Remus fumbled with his footing and slammed into the wall. He cursed and rubbed his arm absently as he peered at your stricken face, he attempted to talk but you held up a finger to stop him.   “Mrs. Norris.” You whispered gravely. Remus looked bemused as he looked both ways along the corridor.   “I think the coast is clear,” he whispered equally as seriously, he took your hand and squeezed it tightly urging you onwards.   “Filch once made me clean every toilet in every girl’s bathroom in my sixth year.” You shuddered at the memory, no wand just a pair of pink rubber gloves and a mouldy toilet brush.   “Blimey, what did you do?” You pondered whether to tell him the truth, that Filch had caught you on the edge of the Forbidden Forest after curfew with Gilderoy Lockheart. You would never forget the look of abject horror on the boy’s face as Filch emerged from the trees waving a lantern wildly whilst Lockheart’s hand was quite firmly in your knickers.   “Got caught with a boy.” You mumbled instead not meeting his eyes, Lockheart had been a numpty in school and even bigger one when he left by all accounts, but it was nasty business that led to Remus filling the position at Hogwarts. You had tried hard to suppress the fleeting dalliance you had shared with Lockheart, teenagers and their bloody hormones you had chalked it up to.   “Happens to the best of us,” Remus said brightly, “Your chamber is down here, isn’t it?” You hadn’t noticed that Remus had managed to escort you nearly to your door, you smiled at him gratefully.   “Yes, thank you,” You broke away from him and held on to the wall for support, your legs nearly giving way. “Woah-”   “Let me just-” Remus mumbled, more to himself than to you, you imagined. He placed an arm on the small of your back and guided you down the dimly lit corridor. Your fingers felt the cold stone give way to the wood of your chamber door and you fumbled for the handle, suddenly anxious of the man stood very close to you. That; turned out to be a very sobering thought. Was Remus expecting to be invited inside? It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to come inside, you had spent the last however long quietly being affected by every small touch, every slightly lingering look- but surely you were far too drunk to be engaging in anything other than sleep, surely, he would understand that. That wasn’t to say there wasn’t a part of you that wanted nothing more than to invite Remus inside and take him into your bed. He was a large man, tall and well built. Your eyes raked down his body and returned to his face. You felt a familiar throbbing between your legs in want, as you squeezed your thighs together.   “I would…I would normally-” You began, it was Remus’ turn to hold a hand up to stop you. He brushed his fingers across your bottom lip, this small gesture elicited a soft moan from you. His green-golden eyes now dark as he brought his face impossibly close to yours.   “Just a kiss…may I?” He breathed, you nodded slowly, utterly entranced by this intriguing man. Remus dropped his head down and gently pressed his lips to yours. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, it wasn’t a kiss filled with longing, but it felt completely natural and comforting that in that moment this particular man would be kissing you.

  “I would say I’m surprised, but I would of course, be lying.” A snide voice in the distance shattered this perfect moment in an instant. You turned your head in the direction of the voice and saw Severus stood, wand raised in Lumos and a small bottle covered in hemp cloth in his free hand.   “Severus.” Remus breathed; it wasn’t a greeting. There was an edge to his voice that made you think that it was a warning. You looked between the two men slightly confused, but on the whole far too tired to distinguish what on earth was happening. “Can I help you with something?” Severus merely shrugged and then held out his hand allowing you to get a good look at the cloth covered bottle. It was fairly large but must have been quite delicate to be wrapped so securely.   “For you.” Severus said disinterestedly. He waited; his arm still outstretched for Remus to move away from you. The chill of the wind that wound its way throughout the castle walls hit you immediately in the absence of Remus’ body heat. You shrunk as far as you could into the door, suddenly embarrassed to have been caught. Severus continued to stare at Remus until you cleared your throat to break the silence. It felt like hours, although it can’t have been more than a few seconds. Remus pocketed the bottle carefully and turned his back to the potions master, he looked at you earnestly.   “I had a really good time tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, he looked hopeful and yet there was something else in his expression. Like he was annoyed to have been interrupted, or perhaps he was annoyed that he had kissed you in the first place.   “Yeah,” you replied, your voice slightly strained. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Remus nodded at you and began to walk back the way you had come, his short cloak flowing behind him until he entered the darkness, and you couldn’t see him anymore. You turned toward your chamber door and noticed Severus was still there, his wand raised to the same level of your face. His brow furrowed in an expression you would take as concern in anybody else, but with Severus you couldn’t be sure.   “Do you require any assistance?” He said curtly, his voice was low, but you could almost imagine it was soft.   “No thank you, Severus. I think I’ll manage from here.” Your fingers once again found the handle and you turned it with ease, the door opened to reveal your dark chamber. Severus waved his wand once into the blackness, and every candle within your rooms flickered into life. You turned to him with a wry smile and thanked him. Before you could close the door on this bizarre exchange with Severus Snape, he placed a hand on your arm. You looked down at where his body made contact with yours curiously, his long fingers seemed to wrap around your wrist perfectly and a small thrill fluttered down your back as he squeezed.   “Be careful around Lupin,” Severus whispered, “He’s never been one for controlling his…urges.” You arched an eyebrow and looked up into the onyx eyes that peered thoughtfully into your own.   “And you?” You had no idea what made you say that. Instant repulsion at yourself slithered over your skin as you mentally kicked yourself. Interestingly though, Severus licked his lips as he considered his answer. Your heartbeat quickened in anticipation of what he would say, his face drawn close enough to yours to feel his breath on your face. It was impossible to not stare at the man’s lips, they were so close to yours after all. Another jolt of need spread between your legs, you stifled the moan that threatened to escape as Severus backed you against the cold stone wall.   “I have no issues with control. I expect nothing less than…total control in every aspect of my life.” With that, Severus turned on his heel and with three quick strides, you were alone.

Fuck.

You undressed quickly climbed hastily into bed. Your heart pounded quickly in your chest, as the knot of arousal that you had felt as soon as you had arrived at your chamber door became too difficult to ignore. Usually, if you would pleasure yourself, it would be an entire affair. An act of self-love, a hot bath, envisioning the perfect scenario but now, as you plunged your hand into your sopping underwear, none of that mattered. It was impossible not to think about the taste of Remus still on your lips as you rubbed frantic circles on your clitoris, your back arched, your mouth fell open as you moaned. As quick as the image of Remus had entered your mind, it was replaced with the memory of Severus’ firm grasp of you, the way he had manhandled you into submission. You balled the sheets in your fingers as you inserted one, then two fingers into your aching centre. Reaching up to your breasts, you rolled a stiffened nipple around your nimble fingers, squeezing it as you filled your cunt to the knuckle. You moaned with abandon, which presumably was the effect from the alcohol, but nevertheless, you fucked yourself thoroughly with your fingers. When you came, you cried out incoherently, a sound you had never heard yourself make before. You couldn’t picture one mans face over the other, imagining spilling their seed over your breasts, or deep inside you- you imagined both of them at once. It was sublime.

  The next seven days passed without incident. Remus wasn’t so much distant as perhaps guarded; there was no mention of the kiss you had shared, nor the strange pseudo-altercation between he and Severus. You pondered long hours in your warm chamber, the fire roared contentedly casting shadows that danced across the high walls. The mug of tea in your hand a reminder of home, your muggle parents had sent you a box of teabags for Christmas as part as a larger ‘care package’. Your mother had laughed when she handed you a largeish box filled with things like tea and crisps, you had even found some alcoholic miniatures and sweets from your youth tucked away at the very bottom. She had given you a smirk and said, ‘Sometimes magic can be found in the ordinary,’. You eyed the box carefully; it was incredibly thoughtful, and you relished it fervently. There was nothing you enjoyed more than curling up on your hardbacked armchair in front of the fire and rummaging through to be delighted in the muggle comforts from home.

  You had taken a Curly Wurly into the staff room that afternoon and nibbled on it idly as you mulled over a few student essays. Severus had entered with his usual flurry of dark robes and general unpleasantness and settled quietly into a corner. You hadn’t so much as looked in his direction since that night outside of your chamber, and he hadn’t looked at you either. That was, until you lifted your eyes to check the sizable grandfather clock, its pendulum swinging ominously on the second and found he was openly staring at you. His jaw was firmly set, and his brow furrowed once more. After a second, he blinked, like he had surprised himself by something akin to mild vulnerability. You followed his gaze, it wasn’t on you specifically, but on the long chocolate bar in your hand. You looked from your grasp to Severus’ face, he too seemed to shift his expression to meet your eyes, a fleeting sheepishness danced across his face as he swallowed with difficultly.   “I haven’t seen one of those in years,” Severus stated, his hands were clasped tightly in his lap. You brought the chocolate to your lips and took a bite, the caramel of the intricately woven design pulled away in long strands. You licked at the excess that settled on your lips, you watched with amusement as veins protruded in Severus’ neck. It was quite easy to forget that Severus himself was a half-blood, dragged rather than brought up in the muggle world.   “You’ve been missing out.” You replied quietly as you crossed your legs. Severus shifted in his seat, his robes flowed fluidly around him, a vision in black and white. The back of your neck seemed to warm as Severus’ dark eyes scoured your frame, his angular face could be dismissed as unappealing, but he had the stoicism of an innate marble statue, a roman god or some other. The closer you looked, and really looked, it was impossible to see him as anything other than he was, captivating. Severus seemed to notice the shift in your stature, the way your fingers tightened around the papers you still clung on to, the way the parchment bent and swayed under your gentle trembling.   “Perhaps I have.” He said darkly.

  That night, before you made your way to meet with Minerva and Pomona for your weekly outing you made a diversion toward the dungeons. Tucked neatly under your arm, was a brown padded envelope, usually suited for sending packages on long journeys. Instead, it was full to the brim of chocolate from your care package, all the things you knew you loved as a child that you imagined Severus would have enjoyed too. Your hand shook slightly as you knocked on the door to his office, it wasn’t particularly late, but you noted that he hadn’t made an appearance at dinner. When no sound came from the office, you gently pushed the door open. The room was as to be expected, dark and filled almost to bursting of various tomes and artefacts. You crossed the room hurriedly, anxious to not get caught out of bounds. You tried explicitly hard not to pry as you crossed over to Severus’ desk, it was surprisingly neat and left everything to the imagination. You placed the envelope on the desk, ensuring that the little note was safe inside before quickly turning and leaving it behind you.

  Remus hadn’t joined you that Friday, it was just the usual suspects. You had found it increasingly difficult to focus on the conversation that flowed freely between the two women. Your mind wandered back to two main thoughts; where was Remus and what was actually going on? And why Severus had suddenly deigned you worthy of his attention? It all seemed so impossibly twee; the idea that you found yourself rattled by the slightest attention of two men that you were almost angry at yourself. Besides, how many times had you crawled out of a stranger’s bed at the first wisps of daybreak? One little kiss shouldn’t be any different. Severus on the other hand hadn’t offered you anything more than a few long looks since that afternoon in the staff room, yet you were plagued with thoughts of the two men. Neither like any man you had encountered before, and yet so remarkably different in every way. Minerva, having noticed your long silence offered you a quizzical look.   “What’s troubling you?” She said pointedly, Pomona ceased talking immediately, and turned to face you with a look one could only describe as hunger. You shrugged and took a sip of your wine; you were desperate to not be as hungover this Friday. Your seventh years had proven to be quite difficult last week, and if you could do anything to not have a repeat of Jenkinson’s smart mouth affecting you so; you would. “Don’t presume to think I was born yesterday,” Minerva continued, her shoulders squared which made her look that inch more terrifying, “I can smell a rat a mile off.”    “I wouldn’t dare jump to any such conclusions. I am simply lamenting over my love-life, or lack thereof.” You replied, your expression sickly sweet which earned a maternal huff from the older woman. Pomona seemed to miss the small tete-a-tete and instead clapped her hands together with glee.   “I demand you tell us everything at once!”

  There was something of a comfort to be found in relaying the past week’s events to the witches, Minerva’s usually stern expression shifted into something softer as you told them everything except for the strange bottle Severus had delivered to Remus.   “Well, that is definitely something different,” she said after small silence, “Especially coming from Severus. I was beginning to think he didn’t have any manly urges.”   “Nonsense, Severus is a strapping young lad, nobody knows what he gets up to outside of the castle. I imagine two old biddies like us would certainly be the last to find out, in any case!” Pomona countered, she rested her chin against her palm, her face dreamlike as if imagining the brooding man’s sex life.   “And quite rightly so!” Minerva said, her tone was laced with embarrassed threat as she stood from the table and marched toward the door. And so, nothing more was said on the matter that night.

  The Saturday morning after your thankfully not-so-disastrous Friday lessons with your seventh years passed idly. You kept much to yourself, the weather was again near freezing, although most of the students had travelled into Hogsmeade. The castle was quiet, undisturbed, and as the next thick sheet of snow settled onto the grounds, you huddled close to your window to watch as in quick flurries the snowflakes settled onto a blanket of pure white. It wasn’t until the third knock at your door did you decide to stop pretending you weren’t in, whoever was on the other side was obviously very insistent and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if there was an emergency. On the other side of the door stood a cheerful Remus, his hair was damp from the snow and his cheeks painted with pink from the chill. He looked every inch the dashing English countryman as he brushed stray snowflakes from his shoulders. You couldn’t explain the quickness of your heart as you invited him inside, the same thunderous heartbeat you had experienced that night in Hogsmeade returned in full force, and you cursed yourself for feeling so foolish.   “To what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked as calmly as you could as you summoned a teapot and a pair of mugs. Remus accepted the tea readily and wasted no time in settling close to the fire.   “I was on my way for a walk to the lake, and I wondered whether you wanted to join me?” It was hard to imagine that he held any ulterior motives as he reclined in your armchair, all red nosed and grins. It was alarming how quickly you agreed, despite taking no real pleasure from walking in the cold. Yet, you soon found yourself wrapped up warmly and struggling to keep pace with the tall man as he dodged expertly over the terrain. He was largely silent as you continued along the path to the lake, he offered a few beige commentaries on the weather and you responded with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. It was difficult, you found, to keep pace with the tall man. Remus’ long legs set his pace at twice the speed of yours, and after a while of trying to conceal your breathlessness, did he slow and offer his arm to you. You huddled close to him, it seemed as though his body radiated a warmth like an oasis in the desert. Remus untangled his arm from yours, instead deciding to hold your gloved hand instead; his fingers squeezed tightly around yours as the lake came into view. A few students littered the area in small groups, the sound of their merriment was enough to bring a smile to your face. It seemed like yesterday that you yourself were a student at Hogwarts; thirty was an ever-approaching nightmare that plagued your dreams daily, had it really been nearly thirteen years since you left the hallowed halls of Hogwarts and joined Gringotts as an apprentice Curse-Breaker?   “Penny for your thoughts?” Remus said, you glanced up at him, he wore a bemused look as you pushed the settled snow from a bench and delicately sat. Foolish as it was, seeing as now you were piss-wet through, the realisation that you were getting old had knocked you for six. Remus patted the seat next to you tentatively before he ultimately decided to join you.   “Do you ever feel like your life just runs away from you? Like one minute, you’re positively frazzled over Transfiguration homework and the next you’re stressed about how you’re going to afford so many weddings this year because suddenly, you’ve reached an age where everyone’s settling down and shitting out kids!” You bit hard on the inside of your cheek, you hadn’t meant to be so forward, certainly not with Remus, but he let out a great big laugh before turning to you animatedly.   “Exactly! It feels like I was just handed my Prefect badge and now-” He faltered; his gaze lifted to the heavens. A flash of pain danced across Remus’ face as he shook his head and swallowed whatever he was going to say. “I don’t remember you much from school.” You were surprised by that; you didn’t expect him to remember you at all; but you expected him to want to save face as you were colleagues.   “I’m not surprised, you had long left before I did anything interesting.” You said as you playfully bumped into his shoulder with your own.   “Ah yes, you mentioned the other night that Filch had caught you with a boy?” Remus’ raised the pitch of his voice as he tormented you, it was his turn to bump you. You covered your eyes with your hands and let out a great groan.   “Merlin, I’d hoped you would have forgotten that.”   “Not on your life. Now, I’m going to need you to tell me all the sordid details.”   “There’s nothing sordid…well, not that sordid, really,” You protested, you couldn’t stop the grin that formed on your lips, it was matched well with the smile that Remus wore. He gazed at you intently as you considered the best way to explain. “Filch caught me in the Forbidden Forest after curfew-”   “With a boy.”   “Yes, Remus, with a boy.” You sighed with faux exasperation; Remus looked near giddy as he clapped his hands.   “Fantastic, who were they? Do I know them? What were you doing?” He asked, each question filled you with feeling of stupidity, it was the single most mortifying moment of your life and you were willingly discussing it.   “Yes, you know them, and we were having an…intimate moment.” You hoped that would be enough to quell his questioning, but it appeared to only spur Remus on he appeared to be bouncing in his seat now.   “Please don’t make me go through a list of people from your year at school, what were you- three years younger than us?”   “Four.” You corrected. Remus seemed to consider this for a moment before his green eyes seemed to darken, and he smirked devilishly.   “I’ll tell you what. If I can guess who the lucky bloke was, you have to come for a drink with me. Tonight.   “And if you can’t?”   “I’m sure you’ll think of an appropriate forfeit.” Remus had brought his face extremely close to yours, you could feel his breath tickle your face. It would be so easy to close the distance, to press your lips to his, but a chorus of whooping from behind where the pair of you sat, shattered any illusions of intimacy. Remus turned toward the students sheepishly, he produced his wand and cast a spell that shook the trees which surrounded the lake, causing a cascade of snow to fall on the students. He stood and offered you his hand.   “Let me escort you back to your rooms, while I think. What house was he in?” He said, and you thought back to the wavy-haired blonde boy who tried to desperately hard to impress.   “Ravenclaw.”   “Hm. That slims the pickings down a bit.”

    Remus still hadn’t been able to guess correctly and when he was confident that he would need more time, he proposed a 24-hour extension. You had pushed him along the corridor with a laugh and a wave, fairly certain that he would ultimately find out about Lockheart, but the look of mischief on his face as he waved in return was such a far cry from the man that shuffled into dinner a week ago, you couldn’t help but be content. With almost a wistful air, you watched as he disappeared behind the corner until you turned to your chamber door. If it hadn’t been for your wet boots squelching heavily onto the stone floor, you would have entirely missed the folded parchment that lay slightly soggy having been thrust under the door in an apparent hurry. You took time to remove your outer layers, kicking your boots off and discarding them where you stood before you retrieved the parchment. You felt a heat rise from the base of your neck all the way up to your ears as instantly, you recognised the fluid handwriting etched across the page.

    I humbly thank you for your thoughtful offering. In return, I request your presence of a nightcap in my quarters this evening after dinner. The password is ‘tradite’, I shall expect you before nine o’clock.

Severus

    Keeping your head down during dinner was proving to be more difficult than you had initially imagined. You didn’t know what had possessed you, but underneath a billowy cloak was a figure-hugging-in-all-the-right-places muggle dress, it showed off your best assets yet left enough to the imagination. It was something you wouldn’t think twice about wearing if you were to go out with your muggle friends from your hometown, but here, amongst these wizards whose fashion choices were questionable at best, you felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb. You wondered if anyone would notice how closely you tugged the fabric of your cloak around your torso, desperate to hide what lay beneath. Remus certainly noticed there was something off with you, he had made an obvious beeline to the empty seat next to you and had tried to engage you in conversation many times, but the truth was plain as day; you felt guilty.

  Not even twelve hours ago had you been sat by the lake with Remus, and now with one invitation from Severus you were jittering like a schoolgirl who’d been asked to meet behind the quidditch stands. It wasn’t clear what it was about Severus exactly that returned you to a puddle of hormones, but you felt it as soon as you had been reintroduced as colleagues all those years later. Yet, hadn’t you felt that with Remus too? After replying to the sandy-haired man for the fourth time that you were fine, just tired, you grimaced into your bread-and-butter pudding. There was something about Severus’ invitation that triggered an excited itch along your skin, and only he would know how to scratch it. There was of course, the obvious question of what on earth constituted at a nightcap? Was he going to give you another warning about Remus? What about Remus? You hadn’t even considered what Severus had meant by his warning, you certainly hadn’t heard any stories about him being a womanizer, or ever having a partner for that matter. You pondered his scars as you tried, as deftly as you could, to get a good look at him from the corner of your eye. Remus was littered with them, whilst the scars across his face were quite pronounced, there weren’t many. But- the scars on his hands and forearms were numerous, there didn’t seem to be an inch of skin without a purple-silver line looking back at you. Maybe he was a fighter? He had played his part in the war, like you all had, but maybe his was a part that was especially dangerous? Perhaps, that’s what Severus meant after all. War changes people, Severus of all people should remember that.

  That didn’t stop you feeling guilty though. It ravaged away at your insides as you continued to push your spoon around your bowl, you had thought that perhaps after this morning, there was an avenue worth exploring with Remus. Now, as you watched Severus rise from the High Table and move stealthily along the lines of teachers, your stomach flipped, and your pulse quickened.   “Lupin.” Severus nodded as he passed, he didn’t say anything in acknowledgement to you, but you noticed the glance in your direction, the slight quirk at the side of his mouth. Soon, Severus had disappeared, and Remus scoffed.   “Boils my piss, he does,” he said as he took a hearty sip of his mead, the veins in his temple protruding slightly. “Lording over us like that, dickhead.” You were quite taken aback by Remus’ outburst; you had never known animosity between them before or since that night outside of your rooms. Nothing had been said, and you had put it down to you having had one to many and misconstruing the situation.   “He literally said your name.” You countered, not completely comfortable with Remus’ tone.   “Aye, and I want my name kept from his mouth, the greasy git.” You opened your mouth to respond yet thought better of it. Whatever it was that had transpired between the pair of them had nothing to do with you, and you couldn’t think of anything worse than having to pick sides. Especially since Severus had now taken an interest in you, something you had tried to make happen when you first started teaching but failed miserably. It was happening now, and Remus could be damned if you weren’t at least going to get to the bottom of this invitation.

  You didn’t bother to wait for the headmaster to call an end to dinner, instead you mumbled an excuse and moved quickly toward the dungeons. Despite having been a teacher for a number of years, there was something about the dungeons that filled you with dread. Whether it was the memories of your sheer mediocrity at potions, or consistently failing to be noticed by Professor Slughorn, there was something that set your teeth on edge. You passed your old potions classroom without looking in, it was almost like you could forget that that class existed, and pretend that of course, you were excellent at everything whilst you were at school. Severus’ rooms were hidden to anyone who wasn’t looking for them, a dark wooden door appeared out of the near blackness of the unlight stone and remained closed. Did you really want to do this? You had wrestled with the fact that you were potentially pissing any chance of anything happening with Remus while you pursued Severus. There was just something very hard to ignore about the potions master, something electrifying.   “Tradite.” You said clearly into the darkness, the click of a lock being turned was the only sound other than the distant almost muffled sound of the groaning lake. The door opened steadily, Severus’ chamber was warm, although, you weren’t quite sure if you were expecting the opposite. He stood with his back to the door, his head bowed and seemingly unaware of your arrival. You wondered whether he would appreciate a polite greeting; if he would want you to wait until he noticed you. After all, he had mentioned that he liked to have control in everything. That was a statement you had never questioned, it just seemed so perfectly fitting that you just took it at face value. It was the thoughts that were conjured alongside that, that you had to suppress.

  You weren’t entirely sure how long you waited, realistically, it couldn’t have been that long. But the steady stream of student’s footsteps returning to their common room was an indicator that it had probably been around five minutes.   “Why haven’t you said anything?” Severus asked after a while. It shocked you, you had completely glazed over, it hadn’t occurred to you that you were still just stood in the doorway. You cleared your throat.   “Didn’t want to disturb you.”   “How thoughtful.” He sneered, but you didn’t detect any malice behind it. Severus Snape was the undisputed king of dry humour and you willed that to be the case here. “Come in. Take off your cloak.” You did as you were bid, slipping the dark cloak from your shoulders, you allowed Severus to take it from you. You were acutely aware of his eyes on your body as he moved with a deft quietness and gestured for you to sit. His rooms, not so dissimilar to yours in layout were far larger and by comparison, full wall to wall with things. It wasn’t untidy, but a sort of organised chaos that endeared Severus to you. His interests and objects of his taste scattered almost peacefully, as if inviting you to take a look. You settled into the armchair by the fire, the fabric a worn Slytherin green leather which matched the sofa which sat opposite. The fire, which was still quite small spat embers behind the wrought hearth and sizzled contentedly to itself.   “Would you like some wine?” He asked from somewhere behind, “I have a lovely Pinot Noir.”   “That would be lovely, thank you.” You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being scrutinised, it wasn’t unlike the feeling of an interview; like he was somehow sizing you up. Although you couldn’t see him from where you were situated, the intense feel of eyes burning into the back of your head was unmistakable. Perhaps it was your intuition as a woman that allowed you to know that as you crossed one leg over the other and placed your hands elegantly on the armrests of the chair, that he noticed. But not only that, that he appreciated it.

  Severus made you wait for it. You heard him as he opened and closed cupboard doors, the clink of glass and the sound of a bottle being corked; it was all for the theatre of anticipation. You knew this, you had done this very thing time and time again in preparation but for what, with him- you couldn’t quite say. The same thrill that you had felt that night he had grasped your wrist returned fervently and your mouth salivated with need. Finally, he appeared within your line of sight. He too, had removed his outer layer, dressed smartly in his frock coat he lowered a glass half full of the ruby liquid, tapping his glass on the side of yours with cheers. Severus made his way painfully slowly to the sofa, he sat on the edge furthest from you and mirrored your position, one leg crossed neatly over the other. You hoped your proximity to the fire would account for the flush on your cheeks as you regarded this man, this studious and distant man as he considered your frame just as openly.   “Thank you for the invitation, Severus. I must admit, it was most unexpected.” Your voice was calm and unbroke, and you were thankful for it. Your heart thundered in your chest and you hoped upon hope that he couldn’t notice the slight tremble of your hand as you brought your wine glass to your lips. Upon reflection, talking with Remus was much easier than with Severus. There was just something so typically wholesome about him, which, when you remembered what he had been like as a young man in school seemed to make sense. But with Severus, there was something akin to danger, you didn’t necessarily feel like he would harm you, no- not at all; but there was always an edge to his words, a double meaning behind his looks. Like there was a joke that perhaps you didn’t understand, perhaps another meaning entirely.   “You’re very welcome. I wanted to thank you personally for your kindness.” He said, his dark baritone seemed most fitting within the confines of his personal space. Like suddenly all the pieces fit together and of course Severus would look and sound the way he did, wasn’t it obvious? “May I ask what you are thinking about? You wear a look of great consideration.” You smiled as demurely as you could muster at his questioning, why were you there if not to talk?   “I was thinking about you.” You said as plainly as you could, you were conscious not to give anything away in terms of exactly how you were thinking of the potions master. But in truth, it had been impossible not to think about him. Remus too. It appeared to be in the space of only a few days that any time you found your mind wandering, it wandered to these two men. Who they were exactly under the sturdy mask of professionalism, what they liked; did they like you?   “Me? Why?”   “I was thinking how nice it was to see you so relaxed, Severus.” You replied softly, you meant it too. A silence settled between the pair of you, and you wondered if you had overstepped the mark, whether that was too informal for his liking. Severus carefully wet his lips and pressed them together into a line. His usual measured look replaced with something else.   “If I may so bold-”   “I like bold.” He smirked as you interrupted him, you wished for him to say whatever it was that was on his mind. You longed to know whether you had consumed his thoughts as much as he had consumed yours.   “If I may be so bold,” Severus began again, his fingers tapping lightly on his thigh, drawing your attention briefly away from his angular face. You noticed for the first time how well structured his body was, his thighs were well proportioned to the width of his torso and seemed to fill his trousers pleasantly. “There’s nothing like a nice glass of wine and the view of a pretty girl to relax you.” He sipped his wine, his eyes never leaving your face. You hoped your expression didn’t betray how startled you felt. It was like your mind was blank, you had forgotten how to blink, how to breathe, just for a moment; you were malfunctioning.   “You think I’m pretty?” Severus smirked at you.   “I think you’re beautiful.”

  You sat in silence after that. Every fibre of your being was screaming at you to say something, to thank him for his compliment, to comment on the wine- anything. Instead, you stared uneasily into the fire, annoyed with yourself.   “Have I made you uncomfortable?” Severus asked breaking the silence, your head whipped in his direction. His expression seemed passive, but you noticed the slight downwards tilt of his mouth, as if he were to frown.   “Not in the slightest!” You said hastily, you set your wine onto the floor and clasped your hands in your lap. “I suppose I wasn’t expecting you to say something like that. It just caught me off-guard.” Severus barked a laugh in response and patted the sofa next to him, you rose quickly and moved across to him. You cursed yourself for appearing needy, eager to please, but the look of satisfaction on Severus’ face spoke volumes. He was pleased with you, and that made your insides flutter with warmth. He placed a hand tentatively on your knee as you sat down, you gasped at the contact, but his hand was warm and soft against your bare skin.   “You look radiant, this evening.” Severus hummed over the rim of his wine glass. There was something hypnotic about his movements, you watched with a desperate intensity as he did the most mundane things, like swill his glass or flick a piece of fluff from his jacket. This wizard had well and truly put a spell on you, and you were at his mercy.   “Thank you,” you answered after a while of staring at Severus. His bemused expression signalled that he knew exactly what was racing through your thoughts. “Did you enjoy your Curly Wurlys?” Severus really laughed at that, he placed the hand that had previously been held on your knee over his eyes and smiled. A rare and beautiful thing indeed, Severus’ Snape’s smile.   “I was most impressed by the assortment, things I had forgotten long about. It was very kind of you,” He stopped as if he needed to be careful with what he said next, “I wanted to repay you.”   “Your company is payment enough, Severus.”

It wasn’t until his hand reappeared this time on your thigh, that you noticed that you had turned your body toward him. Your leg slightly bent at the knee tucked under the other, your hips fully locked on the target.   “I had hoped you would say that.” Severus whispered, “I apologise if I’ve ever appeared standoffish toward you, I find it difficult to engage in small talk. I just don’t see the necessity.” You weren’t sure if he was allowing you to see some vulnerability, or whether he was just stating a fact, but you nodded your head all the same. “The truth is,” He continued, “I had always thought you were quite interesting. Even whilst we were students, you were fiercely kind and dare I say it, popular.”   “You remember me? I didn’t think that anybody would have ever taken any notice of me- back then at least. I was just a nobody.” You said softly as you offered Severus a smile. You were touched that he remembered you, or at least professed to. Its more than Remus could say for himself.   “So was I.” Severus statement stopped you in your tracks. It was no secret that he was mercilessly bullied in school, everybody knew of Snivellus. But, he was right, did anybody actually know him? You nodded in agreement, and he offered you a small smile, his hand giving your thigh a small squeeze.   “Does this mean we’re friends now?” You asked in a small voice, it was meant as a joke but the sentiment remained.   “I don’t have friends. Only allies and enemies.” Severus answered with another sip of wine. You swept your gaze over his face, finally settling on his onyx eyes, the way they bore into yours made you feel as if you were aflame.   “Which am I?”   “Neither. You are you. One couldn’t ask for anything better.”

  Severus slowly brought his lips to yours; his lips were soft and gentle as you shifted to gain a better purchase of his frame. Your hands travelled from his chest to his head, your fingers winding round the raven tresses of hair and he gasped into your mouth. He pulled you closer and as skilfully as you could, you straddled him- Severus hands firmly planted on your backside. He rubbed confident circles against the soft fabric, and you rolled your hips against his lap. It was delicious; the feeling of friction on your cunt was entirely welcome. It had been quite a while before it had seen any attention from anyone other than your own hand, the resigned feeling you had regarding the hold Severus had on you changed in to one of complete and utter want. He brought a hand up and cupped your breast through your dress, you hissed at the contact and Severus took advantage of the loss of your lips and began to kiss deeply along the side of your throat, taking sections of skin between his teeth and sucking hard. You were quite insistent in your actions, unabashedly grinding against Severus’ hardened cock. You could feel it, the way it strained against the fabric of his trousers. You couldn’t help the pathetic mewl that escaped your lips as Severus began to guide your hips, his lips turned into a snarl as with heavy lids he watched as you brought yourself to orgasm.   “Beautiful.” He whispered, lifting a lock of your hair and placing it behind your shoulder where he liberally placed kisses.

  Panting, you brought his lips to yours. Your hands fumbled down to where the clasp of his trousers was easily undone despite your trembling hands. He lifted his hips whilst you momentarily dismounted him to pull his trousers and underwear to his knees. His cock, thick and pink bobbed angrily against his pubic bone, almost as if it demanded your attention. You pressed forward again, your lips finding his with ease as he positioned you back over his lap, his cock pressed against your wetness. With a gruff murmur, your underwear was vanished and you groaned with anticipation. It was impossible to say where your moan began and his finished, but as Severus guided himself into you. You heard an unmistakable “Fuck,” against your shoulder, his grip was vice-like as with a great amount of effort you lifted your hips and began to ride him. It was probably naïve of you to assume that Severus would let you set the pace, after a few seconds of a disjointed rhythm, Severus held you in place; his hips pistoning up into your sopping sex like it was the last thing he’d ever do. You held tight to the back of the sofa, the pleasure was immeasurable, though your eyes were closed, a searing white light seemed to envelop you.   “So fucking tight. I knew you would be.”

  You had never been fucked like this before, this sort of desperate rutting was something you assumed only happened in films where the lovers would be separated by war or ruin. Not, as you found out, by the loner potions professor. It was exhilarating, the feeling of his member pounding into you, the way the slight curve of his cock seemed to grace every spot inside you, it didn’t seem possible to reach any deeper within you; but as he pushed you backwards away from his chest, he burrowed himself further in still.   “Oh god, you’re going to make me come.” You managed to say, his thrusts were short and sharp and quite unrelenting. His brow was furrowed and a sheen of sweat glistened on his skin in the candlelight. He snarled at you then and tossed you to the side, your back landing onto the sofa with a thud. Your cry of shock came out strangled as no sooner had he withdrawn from you, he delved right back into your aching cunt.   “If I’m going to make you come,” Severus grunted, his hand around your throat, “Then you’re going to look me in the eye while I do it. I want to see your face as you come all over my cock.” You shivered under the weight of the sheer eroticism of his words. The feeling of his hand on your pressure point was blissful, being so utterly at another’s mercy wasn’t like anything you had experienced before. It was freeing, purifying…you loved it.

   The tight coil in the pit of your stomach began to unfurl, as with raspy moans, you came hard. Your orgasm seemed to last an eternity, your body rocking with the motion of Severus’ thrusting but also with the throbbing and twitching your used cunt. Severus’ hand squeezed tightly around your throat as he came, his movements becoming shallower and slower. He collapsed onto you in a heap, his head on your chest and your arms around him unquestioningly. You stayed like that for a while, your eyes closed as you blissfully travelled from alert to sleep and back, tracing lazy circles on Severus’ back. It was Severus who moved first in the end, he grappled for his jacket and produced his wand, he pointed it at you and muttered a spell you didn’t understand. But the sudden feeling of dryness and warmth that flooded between your thighs, you safely assumed he had cleaned you. You pushed up from your spot warily, sheepishly almost. Severus was across the room from you now, rebuttoning his clothes and smoothing down his hair. You watched him for a while, your head cocked to the side. Severus seemed to move in such a graceful yet detached way, his movements were precise, but it was clear that he was thinking about anything but the action. You wondered what he was thinking about now.   “Can I help clear up?” Severus’ head shot in your direction, he offered you a strained smile as you waited for his reply. He gathered your cloak and held it out for you to slip on. Did that mean he wanted you to go? After everything that just happened? Wordlessly, you slid your arms into the waiting holes and stood. For what exactly, you couldn’t be sure.

   “I have a prior engagement,” he said flatly, you tried not to look shocked, but you suspected you failed. “I’m sorry, are you well?”   “Quite. Thank you, Severus.” Was all that you said, as with cheeks flaming with embarrassment you willed your legs to push onwards toward the door. If he called after you, you didn’t notice as with laborious steps you made your way back to your chamber. The castle was deathly quiet now, even the ghosts had disappeared to their various dark corners for the night. This was why, when you rounded the corridor to your rooms, the lone figure waiting outside gave you a fright. Your face was still hot from the exertion of the sex and the embarrassment as Severus all but threw you out on your ear. Hot tears threatened to brim over, Merlin, why had this affected you so?

  “Remus?” You whispered into the darkness; the figure moved toward the sound of your voice. One step, and then another into the candlelight and his face was visible. He looked sallow, much like he had that night in the Great Hall.   “I’ve been knocking for ages. I was worried about you during dinner. You were acting really weird.” It was then that Remus noticed your dishevelled appearance, the marks on your neck but not least, the look of pain on your face. “Are you alright?” You nodded solemnly and made toward the door to your chamber, the guilt that had dissipated whilst you were in Severus’ presence now resurfaced as you regarded Remus’ concerned face. With your hand on the doorknob, you turned to him, all green eyed and sandy-haired Remus and smiled sadly.   “Do you want a cup of tea? I need to tell you something.”

[kumkaniudaku]

Simple Syrup

You asked for Daveed smut and I tried to deliver. At least this one time. Enjoy!

Warning: Sexual Content. 18+. 

Daveed Diggs x Black!OC (Olivia Jenkins)(Yes, the MC/ OC is black. Representation is important.)

"Yo, open up!" Heavy fists beat against the door of Olivia's downtown apartment, making her roll her eyes. "I know you can hear me, girl! It's your favorite pop-up roommate!"

"You've been evicted, Diggs!"  

"I paid you rent, though!"

Turning the stove on low, Olivia shook her head as she wiped her hands on a dishtowel. Daveed always found a way to surprise her with his presence. He never texted before showing up at her door but frequently sported a backpack or suitcase full of clothes or Rafael for an extended stay. He and all his baggage were welcome anytime, with or without notice.

Stepping to the door, Olivia bit back a smile before responding. "I didn't receive any payments this month."

"I got it in my bag."

"Bag or bags?"

"Open the door to find out."

Daveed took a step back as the locks began to turn, waiting for Olivia's face to greet him with faux anger the way she did the last time he showed up out of nowhere and stayed for three weeks. Despite stopping by six months ago, it felt like a lifetime since he'd been in her company. Bi-weekly phone conversations weren't enough. He needed to be near Olivia while she watched whatever Housewives franchise had her attention for the month.

When the door opened to reveal the long hallway leading to her living area, Olivia stood with a hand on her hips and a grin on her face.

"Where is my money," she asked, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Just as she expected, he stood in the hallway with a suitcase that she knew cost a fortune to check at the airport and his worn Jansport full of junk and work.

Daveed laughed and bent to rifle through his backpack for a crumpled white envelope that he handed over with exaggerated purpose. "Here you go, Miss Jenkins. Sorry to be late on rent for, what, 8 months? I hope this is enough."

"Boy, you didn't really need to pay me. You're not on the lease."

"Good," he answered as he pretended to wipe sweat from his brow. "Because those are just Chick Fil A coupons."

Olivia stood with her mouth open as Daveed brushed her to roll his luggage to the first bedroom on the right.

He listened to her insult his "stupid face" and instruct him to hurry up while he scanned the room he had called home more times than he could count. All of Daveed's belongings were in the same place, with almost unnoticeable shifts to show that Olivia had cleaned once or twice. His favorite throw blanket was folded at the edge of the bed with his initials elegantly embroidered in the corner. The air smelled of the vanilla candle she kept on the nightstand next to a framed photo of the crew enjoying a roller coaster at Six Flags. His favorite trinket, Olivia's homecoming crown from undergrad, sat next to a single gold medal from Daveed's days competing in track and field. To him, it symbolized their bond from the beginning. To her, it was probably just a space to hide old items.

"Daveed, get in here! I need you to cut!"

All at once, Daveed's sense of self returned to center him in reality. He quickly kicked off his shoes once he remembered Olivia's rules and started off toward the kitchen to answer the call for his help.

Even with the windows open, he could smell savory and sweet aromas combining for a smell that reminded him of the holidays. However, the calendar placed them square in the middle of an excruciatingly hot summer. He could see the open bottle of BBQ sauce on the center island next to a mixing bowl full of things he couldn't recognize but knew they would taste great. Bushels of greens sat in a pot on the stove, boiling amid smoked meat and seasonings to complement the food cooking in the oven. Daveed felt excitement take hold of his face and forced the apples of his cheeks up toward his eyes. Olivia looked up from her task at the cutting board and smirked.

"I thought you were vegan now."

"My business is my business, Liv. We talked about this last week."

"We also talked about you heading directly to Toronto after your job in Atlanta and, yet, here you are." She studied Daveed's face for answers but found nothing but a growing smile. "Come over here and cut up these strawberries while I sauce the ribs."

Daveed followed directions without complaint, lazily strolling to the island and nudging Olivia away. He'd been her help in the kitchen before to open pesky jars or stir while she tended to the more time-intensive parts of the meal. On more than one occasion, he had fucked up, and each time she invited him back into her safe space with open arms.

"How's Rafa and the family," Olivia asked with her back turned while she bent to take a peek into the oven.

Daveed kept his eyes on her backside for a moment too long before answering. "Rafa's good. Amy sends her love and says that you are more than welcome for Friendsgiving this year. She volunteered you for pies."

"You volunteered me for pies, Daveed," Olivia corrected, knowing how much her friend loved her desserts. "What about my babies? Is Santiago the best big brother to Emelia?"

"He's...trying. But he did send a gift for the lady with the bald head. His words, not mine."

Olivia ran a hand across her tapered fade and chuckled. "I feel like he heard Rafael say that."

"No, Rafa calls you Thick Mr. Clean."

"Yeah, because that's what you said when you were drunk on New Years," Olivia accused as she gestured toward the cabinet housing her wine glasses. Daveed nodded before answering.

"I said it with love!"

"Mhmm, I'm sure."

Together they watched half a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc be transferred into the separate glasses, waiting for the moment they could take a sip. The last time they shared a drink, they ran through two 12- packs of beer with Rafael and ended up dancing with street performers in Times Square. She hadn't been able to stomach the smell of a Budweiser since then and fully transitioned to fruity notes and sparkling Rosé with Daveed occasionally coming along for the ride.

Taking another long sip from his glass, Daveed leaned against the island counter to watch Olivia stir a mixture for skillet cornbread.

"What's got you so stressed?"

Olivia shrugged but didn't look away from the bowl. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"The last time you cooked like this, you were writing your dissertation. And the time before that, it was your mom."

The room fell quiet outside of the spoon, ricocheting off the sides of the mixing bowl. After several seconds, Olivia took a deep breath and looked up at Daveed.

"Daddy's getting remarried. Omari and I are his best-kids," she laughed. "I'm not stressed. Just a bit...sad, I guess?"

Daveed understood the issue without needing more context. Five years ago, he was the one sitting beside Olivia on the floor of her brother's home office after the news came that their mother had in the hospital. He was there for the saddest funeral he'd ever experienced and the months of reconciliation that the family struggled through on the way to some sense of normalcy. The idea that her father had found love again was heartwarming, but Daveed knew the occasion was bringing up old feelings.

"Wanna talk about it?"

She shrugged again and moved the skillet to the oven. "There's nothing to talk about. I said I'm fine. I wish she was here, ya know, but I know she isn't upset. She always told us to move on once she's gone. She sure as hell would."

Daveed chuckled at the idea of Mrs. Jenkin's moving on in the afterlife. "She was funny like that. I remember when she met me for the first time and kept calling me Devante."

"Yes," Olvia exclaimed, a spark of joy returning to her eyes. "She'd call me and be like, that boy Devante is smart! Ask him if he can put me in a movie one day!"

Olivia's voice warped to imitate her mother as best as possible before she burst into laughter with Daveed.

"One of the last things she said to me was that I need to make sure you keep having fun. She didn't want you to stop enjoying life on account of her."

"Yeah…" Daveed watched Olivia down the wine in her glass with her eyes closed, waiting for her to continue her thought. "Well, you're doing a good job. We could work on your definition of fun, but solid effort so far."

"How can I do better? I'm open to criticism."  

Daveed kept his eyes on Olivia while he reached across her body to grab the wine bottle for the final drink. Her breath hitched while alcohol buzzed through her system, creating the perfect storm for sudden arousal. She fought her thoughts by shaking her head to recover.

"You can start by grabbing those strawberries and bringing them over to the stove."

"Don't skip the question." Daveed's smirk as he followed her to the other side of the counter made Oliva hot with embarrassment, but she kept a calm exterior. "Are you still having fun with me?"

"I always have fun with you, D, you know that. Who else is gonna play Bop It with me at 2 AM on a Wednesday? The question is, are you still having fun with me, superstar?"

"Don't start that. I come and stay at your house because I miss you, not because I can't find somewhere else to sleep. You're my person."

"For now," Olivia added as a rebuttal, ignoring the way her stomach flipped at hearing the way Daveed felt. "What happens when you get married? You're gonna have to go be a family man like Rafa. Then we'll only see each other on Friendsgiving and Christmas."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Hm." Olivia's short but skeptical laugh effectively ended the conversation. Still, Daveed had already made up his mind to return to the discussion later in the week. "So, how long are you here this time?"

Daveed used one of his large palms to push a few curls off his forehead in search of relief from the heat in the kitchen. "I was thinking a couple weeks. Three or four."

"That's longer than normal! I get to have my favorite guy here long enough to help me put wallpaper up in the guest bathroom?"

"Am I only muscle to you?"

"Of course, not," she answered with a sweet smile, making Daveed mirror her expression. "You're also a taste tester. Open up."

Before Daveed could object, Olivia swiped barbecue sauce across his bottom lip for his opinion. The tip of his tongue appeared to taste the tangy brown sauce, finding an explosion of flavor that reminded him how much he missed Olivia's cooking.

"What's the verdict," Olivia asked over her shoulder as she turned off the eye under her simple syrup mixture.

"Tangy and sweet. I'm not sure why you don't bottle this up for sale. My dad would love some."

"Meh, I like having it as a treat for the people I love. All my hobbies aren't for profit, my friend."

Daveed dramatically threw a hand across his chest and gasped. "Did Mean Ole Liv just imply that she loves me? I-I'm gobsmacked. Utterly shocked and eternally grateful."

"Diggs, you're pushing it," she laughed. "Come taste this syrup before I start on the lemonade."

From experience, Daveed knew what to expect. But he humored Olivia anyway if only to see pride light up her face when he told her how amazing the sweet mixture tasted. After washing his hands in the sink, he skimmed his middle and pointer fingers across the top of the syrup to pick up enough to coat his fingertips.

He eyed the liquid for a moment, watching it slowly trickle down the side of his long fingers while he thought of his next move. Olivia stood at the refrigerator with her back turned, humming a song from The Wiz. At the same time, she gathered ingredients for the beverage.

"Hey...hey, Liv." Daveed had already started to close the short gap between them and stood waiting for Olivia to respond to his call.

"Wha -" A sudden swipe of syrup across her bottom lip confused Olivia. "D, what is your problem?"

Stepping forward, Daveed took her chin in his to bring their lips inches apart. "Is it still cool if I taste?"

Olivia stared at Daveed without blinking, fighting her brain for a competent answer to his question. Instead, she nodded in a daze with her jaw slack. His fingers took gentle meandering paths across the peaks and valleys of her face before using his thumb to part her lips.

Daveed's first kiss was a tentative peck to test the waters. When he received no resistance, he pulled Olivia closer for full access to her mouth.

Neither of them expected to fall into the kiss so easily. Olivia didn't expect to melt into Daveed's body while he dictated the pace and intensity. Daveed didn't expect to feel an overwhelming desire to consume the one person that always felt so close but far away. He wanted to feel and taste every part of Olivia while he had the green light. She reveled in Daveed's attention, even if it was only for a moment.

Taking a step backward, Daveed used his knowledge of the kitchen to guide them back toward the stove. Their lips remained connected to taste the last bits of each other. Olivia was the first to break the lip lock and move her head upward, directing Daveed to choose a spot on her neck to explore.

The cold, sticky simple syrup came next, the thick glob landing on the center of her chest and sliding to her cleavage.

"I've thought about this a lot," Daveed spoke barely above a whisper as he used a finger to spread simple syrup across Olivia's chest. "Kinda wild to say, but I have."

"How long?"

"A year. Maybe two."

Olivia released a shaky gasp once Daveed's tongue began licking from the space between her breast to the base of her neck to catch the simple syrup. As quickly as it disappeared, he replaced the sugar mixture with another round at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He groaned as the tart strawberry flavor mixed with the sweetness of the sugar and Olivia's skin. She grasped the back of his head for stability, allowing her eyes to flutter closed for a few seconds.

"How does it turn out? In your thoughts, I mean?"

Daveed paused to kiss Olivia's lips again and run his hands down her back. "Doesn't matter. We're here now, and I can't think of anything outside of how good you taste drenched in strawberry sauce."

"Simple syrup," Olivia answered, smiling as she sneakily dipped her finger into the pot behind Daveed. "It's simple syrup, and I haven't gotten a taste yet. Open your mouth."

They kept their eyes on each other while Daveed opened his mouth, waiting for whatever came next. Olivia took her time to coat his tongue in syrup, imagining how it would feel to experience the concoction from his mouth.

There started the mad scramble to get closer, taste more and touch longer. Separate but equal desires to completely consume the other person had the pair maneuvering around the kitchen. They remained attached at the lips until they reached the solid wood breakfast table near the large casement window. Daveed was the first to remove clothing, pulling his t-shirt over his head and tossing it somewhere behind him. A split-second decision had him rushing back to the stove to retrieve the syrup pot. He carefully placed it on the table while Olivia slid the straps of her summer dress down her arms to let the fabric pool at her waist. Daveed watched with a flirtatious smile, marveling at the expanse of her warm brown skin. Olivia returned the sentiment, letting her eyes rake over his broad chest and toned midsection.

One after the other, Daveed and Olivia added bits of syrup to different body parts to lick and suck the skin clean. A handful mistakenly dripped onto Olivia's thigh, and they watched the sticky liquid carry small chunks of strawberries to the inner portion of her leg.

Daveed regarded the sight with wonder before carefully dropping to one knee for a better look. He maintained eye contact with Olivia as he kissed his way to the sweetest spot, lingering in places that earned the most desirable response. The scratch of facial hair combined with his lips and tongue's soft, silkiness made Olivia keen for more. She could feel the blood rushing to pool at her inner thigh for a bruise that would leave evidence of a dream achieved. She smiled at the thought of seeing it when she was getting dressed and how her stomach might feel with butterflies from the memories.

Daveed mumbled praise after praise into the supple skin of Olivia's thigh before starting a journey back to her lips. When he returned, he slowly pushed the waistband of his sweats down his hips and legs.

"Oh," Olivia spoke, eyes wide while she fought the natural desire to let her gaze travel. "I...wow, okay. I feel like I'm violating you."

"I'm kind of asking you to," Daveed laughed as he stepped closer.

"This is so fucking weird. Are we really about to do this?"

"Only if you want. I mean, I want to, but we can stop whenever you say the word."

He was closer now, dropping kisses on her shoulders while he pressed their chests together to reduce the space between him.

Olivia's legs naturally hooked themselves around his waist at the same time that her arms circled his neck.

She leaned forward to speak against Daveed's lips with her eyes hooded in lust, "I want this."

Passion and the hint of strawberry coating their lips intensified the moment between Olivia and Daveed. He held her writhing hips steady while he stood on his toes to push forward. Simultaneous moans of pleasure rang out in the kitchen, surely gaining the attention of nearby neighbors.

Their hips bucked an even pace, repeatedly meeting to build tension in their bellies. Daveed felt the strain of each stroke in his thighs and calves but found the desire to fuck his friend on her kitchen table to override any other immediate discomfort.

"Are you a talker," Daveed asked randomly, making Olivia's eyes snap up from the action below her waist to focus her attention on him.

"What?"

"A talker. Do you like to talk during sex?" His question came between labored breaths and grunts holding a mixture of exertion and indescribable pleasure.

"Daveed, are you trying to have a conversation with me right now?"

"I mean, I like to - fuck - I...I like to talk sometimes. Is that cool?"

A high-pitched moan ripped through Olivia's throat before she could gather her senses to respond. "It's your c-call, Diggs. Just don't stop."

He followed directions without skipping a beat, digging into his strength to pick up speed when he sensed they could move to the next level. He peppered in filthy statements that stimulate Olivia's mind while driving into her with expert precision.

They held on to each other as they reached separate peaks with no regard for the climbing noise level.

"I wanna do this forever," Daveed whispered into Olivia's ear before nipping at the lobe.

"Not look into my eyes lovingly and write songs about me?"

Daveed chuckled and snapped his hips forward, earning a near-silent moan. "Can I use you calling me daddy on the hook?"

"You got a lot of work to do before that happens."

"I'll put in overtime."

Splaying his hand across Olivia's torso, Daveed pushed her to lay flat on the table before leaning to hover over her body. He used his waning energy to give her all the power in his hips, searching for a climax. When she thought she couldn't come anymore, Olivia felt her body jolt off the table once the pad of Daveed's thumb began rubbing tight circles on her clit. Daveed smiled at the reaction but felt it disappear as soon as his hips falter mid-stroke. He rushed to pull out of Olivia, fearing that if he stayed inside for a moment longer, he would expedite his journey to fatherhood.

Olivia helped his cause by curling her fingers around his length and joining his pumping effort while she propped her body up on her elbow. He came with a choppy moan and heavy breathing on her belly, his chest rising and falling rapidly in time with the stove's timer beeping for attention.

Both Olivia and Daveed dissolved into laughter.

"Please, don't let this dry on me. It's sexy now but a pain to get off later."

Daveed's laughter climbed to hysterics at Olivia's mention of the mess on her stomach before reaching across the table to grab napkins out of the centerpiece component.

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly as he helped wipe her clean. "Condoms next time?" 

"Or my mouth."

Daveed stood shocked for a split second while Olivia worked to readjust her clothing and hurry to the stove. He followed her lead and pulled up his sweats before clearing the syrup pot and grabbing wipes to disinfect the surface.

The room was silent while they arranged hot dishes on the counter and privately grappled with having sex for the first time. A sense of "now what" hung in the air, which made Daveed more and more uncomfortable.

After plates were fixed, they chose opposite ends of the table to enjoy the meal.

"You know," Olivia started, laughing as she swallowed the last piece of cornbread on her plate. "That simple syrup recipe is my mom's. This whole meal was her favorite thing to cook, and I made it because I was really fuckin' sad and needed her nearby. Then you showed up."

Daveed's eyes snapped up from his plate. He wasn't sure what to say and remained silent in hopes that Olivia would elaborate.

"A couple weeks before she died, she told me that she would still be directing my love life from Heaven. She grabbed my hand and said, 'Dammit, Bean, I'm gone get you a man even if I gotta do it during bingo with the good Lord.'"

"You think she's up there winning the grand prize?"

Olivia shook her head. "I think she forfeited it to send you to me."

Her answer made Daveed still to watch Olivia's eyes meet his set from across the table. She reached a hand across the table with her palms facing upward, beckoning Daveed to place his palm in the center of hers.

"We have three weeks to figure this shit out," Daveed said, smiling before bringing Olivia's palm to rest on his cheek.

She looked at him for a minute to take in the way his eyes reflected the sun before using her head to gesture toward the pot still resting on the counter.

"And all night to finish off mama's recipe."

[okskz]

Talk It Out.

Elsy + Got7

the group has an early christmas dinner at elsy’s apartment and jackson forces her to talk it out with jinyoung.

day 17 of 25 days of okskz! hope you guys enjoy and please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

[8th Member of Got7]

Elsy sighed as she set the center piece on her dining table, the last thing she needed to set up. The boys would be arriving soon to have an early Christmas dinner she had planned and wanted all of them to come, even Jinyoung.

As much as she didn’t want to invite him, Elsy knew it would have looked wrong inviting everyone else minus him. So she sucked it up, and was going to face him tonight but still keep her distance.

Of course Elsy chose to have take out instead of actually cooking, knowing the last time she had tried to cook for them didn’t end so well. She checked off all the food that was on her kitchen counter when the bell to her apartment rang.

Quickly rushing over to it, she was met with Mark. “Tuan!” The two engulfed into a tight hug before he fully entered Elsy’s apartment.

“The others should be here soon, so make yourself at home.”

He had walked into the kitchen with her, looking at all the food. “You didn’t cook right?” He questioned, chuckling just a bit.

Elsy slugged her shoulders as she stared at him. “No, I didn’t. It’s all take out, so you guys won’t be dying tonight.”

“Just trying to make sure.” He lifted his hands up in surrender.

Elsy jokingly rolled her eyes as the bell rang again, causing her to rush to the door once more. When she opened it, this time it was Bambam and Yugyeom who were standing there. “My babes.” She smiled.

“Ew.” Bambam gagged.

“Hello to you too my lover.” Yugyeom winked.

The girl snorted, opening the door wider for the both of them to come in. And right as she was about to close it, Youngjae had stepped in. “I’m here too!” He said out of breath.

“Come on in.” She smiled. The two had walked into the kitchen, Elsy already hearing Bambam talk badly about her cooking while staring at the food.

“We can eat this right? Like we’re not going to die?” Bambam questioned, jokingly.

“No!” Elsy exclaimed. “It’s all take out. My cooking cannot be that bad.”

“It is.”

“Whatever.” Elsy rolled her eyes. “Screw all of you.” She looked into her wine cabinet, taking out some new bottles she had purchased just for this day and sat them on the dining table. And as she did, the bell rang once again.

“Can you get that for me, babe.” Elsy said to Yugyeom.

He did as he was told and both Jaebeom and Jackson had entered the apartment. “Hello!” Jackson cheered. He took out another wine bottle from a brown bag, handing it to Elsy. “Oh, I see you have a lot already but the more the merrier.” He chuckled.

“Perfect.” Elsy smiled as she placed it on the table with the rest.

The girl went ahead and started setting up the food on the dining table, saving some time for when Jinyoung would arrive but still there were no signs of him. Elsy checked her wrist watch, she did text Jinyoung beforehand on what time the dinner would start so the fact that he wasn’t there yet was odd to her. If anything, he was always early when it came to occasions like this.

Everyone was already sitting around the table, while Elsy checked her phone to see maybe he at least texted her, but nothing. “Shall we wait for Jinyoung? Or go ahead and start without him?” She questioned. She was slowly beginning to think he wasn’t going to show up.

“Uh-“ Jaebeom began but was cut off when the bell rang. “That must be him.”

Jackson went ahead and got the door, knowing Elsy and him weren’t on good terms and when the door opened, in came Jinyoung. “Sorry, I’m late. I’m here though.” He said, quickly taking a seat. Which happened to be right in front of Elsy.

He avoided her eye contact, looking around at all the other members instead.

Once everyone had poured wine in their cup, Elsy stood up to make a toast. “I just want to make a small toast, starting by saying thank you guys for coming here today. This year by far has not been very good with everything going on but the good thing is I still have you guys. And I want to say I love and appreciate every single one of you no matter what. You guys mean everything to make so here’s to us and hopefully next year is better and brings us new beginnings.” She rose her glass along with everyone else and took a sip of the wine. “Let’s eat. And by the way it’s all take out! So no you guys will not be dying today with my cooking.”

Everyone began laughing as Elsy sat down, serving herself a plate and the whole group began eating while having conversation. Throughout the dinner, both Elsy and Jinyoung continued to avoid each other. Every time Elsy would talk, Jinyoung wouldn’t bother to listen and vise versa. Jackson noticed everything of the two but decided not to say anything yet in sake of the dinner going so well. He didn’t want the two to begin fighting again in front of everyone.

After the dinner, Elsy began picking up everything while some of the members were in the living room, taking over her television. Jackson came up next to her, putting some dishes in the sink but then taking the one out of Elsy’s hand before she could begin to wash it. “Here I’ll take it from here.”

“No, Jackson-“

“I insist. You set up everything. The least I can do is clean.” He smiled. “Plus I think now is the right time to go and talk things out with Jinyoung.” He pointed his head to where Jinyoung was at.

Elsy turned her attention to where Jackson had pointed at, seeing Jinyoung outside in the balcony alone. She sighed as she turned back to Jackson. “I can’t.”

“Oh but you will.” Jackson said. “Go, Elsy. You two really need this.”

Elsy tried to change his mind but Jackson was set for the two to talk it out already. “Go.”

She took a deep breath before turning back around and walked out to the balcony. Jinyoung hard turned around for a second until realizing it was Elsy then turned right back around.

Elsy stood next to him but still kept a distance. “What are you doing out here?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “Just looking at the view of the city.”

The girl bit on her lip, not know what to say next or how to even start. So she was silent for a moment until she looked up at Jinyoung. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Jinyoung nodded as the two faced each other.

“I don’t like how we’ve been with each other recently, I feel like we’ve been both acting real immature. And I have to apologize for throwing that water bottle at you the other day.”

“I’m sorry too. I haven’t been treating you right these past days. Especially blurting out your relationship with Chan. I’m sure you still wanted to keep that a secret.”

The girl nodded. “I don’t want you to be upset with me anymore.” Elsy stated. “I understand why you may not like him at the moment but Jinyoung you can’t stop me from liking him. Or being with Chan.”

“I understand that, Jiyeon.” Jinyoung nodded. “I guess I was just upset because he did hurt you and you even cried to me about it. I saw how hurt you were by him so I just couldn’t understand as to why out of nowhere you decided to like him or even think about being with him. I guess that was my protective side of me kicking in.”

“I always appreciate you looking out for me. From the moment I joined this group.” Elsy sighed. “But to maybe let you be less confused, I’ll start by saying I’ve always liked Chan when him and I were trainees.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows furrowed so Elsy continued. “Yes I know, he told me the same but when I joined Got7 my feelings for him went away. And when we stopped talking well I was hurt of course but then we began talking again a little bit more and it made me realize how much I’ve missed him.” Elsy sighed.

“I didn’t want to see ten years of friendship just vanish. But then out of nowhere the feelings I had for him came back.” Elsy shrugged. “And so I told him, and well look how that turned out.”

“I see.” Jinyoung said, sighing.

“And you know, at the end of the day I forgive him because no matter what, Chan will always be my best friend.” She said. “And I really like him.”

“I can see that.” He said. “And I’m sorry that I got really upset over this and thought I could somehow control your life. Again, I was just trying to look over you. I hate seeing you hurt.”

“Jinyoung, it’s okay.” Elsy half smiled. “But you know I can also look over myself just fine.”

“Trust me, I know.” The shared a small laugh.

“Do you think we can just put this all behind us?” Elsy questioned, hopeful.

It took him awhile, but Jinyoung nodded his head, smiling at Elsy. “Yeah. I’d like that.” The went in for hug, staying in that position for awhile. Jinyoung began to tightly hug her. “To be honest, I don’t think I could ever stay mad you.”

He heard Elsy laugh a little, the two still continuing to hug.

Jackson was done with the dishes when he noticed the two hugging. He smiled at them, knowing they finally talked it. But right when he was passing the door to the balcony, he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard what Elsy had said.

“And us sleeping together. Let’s just act like that never happened.” She chuckled. Not realizing she had left the balcony door slightly open and Jackson hearing everything she said.

“I can live with that.” Jinyoung laughed. “Even if they were some of our greatest nights spent together. But you’re with Chan now, so I’ll respect your wishes.”

“Thank you.”

Jackson was in shock but knew something else had went down between the two. But what he heard was definitely not what he had expected. He moved away quickly and headed back into the kitchen right when Jinyoung and Elsy had came back inside. The two were smiling and while Jinyoung went to the living room, Elsy went straight to the kitchen.

“It went well.” Elsy grinned at Jackson.

“That’s great!” Jackson have her a thumbs up. For some reason he began feeling uneasy and Elsy caught it right away.

“Hey are you okay?” She questioned. “You seem a little off.”

“No, no.” Jackson waved her off. “I’m okay, must just be the wine or something.”

“But everything is all good.”

[shittylongcatposts]

To Hell with love - Sinnerman ch. 2 Priest au!

word count: ~1200 trigger warning: mentions of religion, contains some swear words

“Jesus, men suck”, her friend stated and threw herself on Miriam’s bed. The young woman started to explain what happened, not leaving out a single thing, while she tried to tell her friend all the dirty details that happened since the last time they met. That her now ex-boyfriend betrayed her, and even started to harass her after their breakup, claiming that she was the guilty one in this part, guilty for not even letting him sleep with her whenever he wanted to, in fact Miriam was glad they didn’t get to this point of their relationship at all, because she wasn’t ready for it. The young woman felt relieved that she finally could speak about all of this with somebody. After Becca listened to Miriam’s whole story she sighed and held out a pot filled with ice cream, waiting for her friend to finally grab the spoon and eat it.

However, said friend sat on the edge of her bed crying. She didn’t want to cry, actually she hated to feel like this. Helpless, and hurt by this guy, she fell in love with all this time ago. Miriam still had some feelings for him, even though turned out to be an asshole. But she also knew that after giving it a little bit of time she would feel better. Relieved. Free, and maybe ready to move on. With her friend slowly stroking her back and her curly hair, her sobs died out, and eventually Miriam’s mood started to brighten up. Soon she grabbed the pot of ice cream and started shoveling the ice into her mouth.

“That’s more like it! Finally you’re eating something!” Becca cheered, attempting to hug the other woman from behind, at the same time Miriam tried to swallow a huge spoonful of ice. But she failed horribly. With loud laugh Becca and Miriam fell over, neither of them being able to get up again. Both women started giggling and eventually Miriam stopped coughing.

“You sound like I haven't eaten anything in days” Miriam pouted and rolled her eyes and sat back up. Her voice was still rough from the small incident.

“Hey, I’m just taking care of my friend, here, I could also just go home again.” Becca said jokingly, staring at her with a grimace.

“Hell no you can’t, we haven’t even started the movie yet. Plus I haven’t seen you for ages, you can’t just leave me again and disappear for weeks!”

They both looked at each other with weird grimaces playing on their faces. When the friends looked at each other again, they laughed wholeheartedly. Oh, how much Miriam missed hanging out with her best friend.

That night they decided on having a sleepover, and to watch some bad movies while downing some wine and snacks. After Miriam finished rummaging around in her apartment, on her mission to find said snacks and wine, the best friends soon cuddled up against each other on the couch, ready to start the movie-night.

While opening up the bottle, the movie started, but neither of the girls were paying attention to it, both friends were focused on each other, looking up memes on their phone, laughing about nothing and everything, telling funny stories about their ex boyfriends and their weird habits.

Every now and then the friends clinked their glasses together. Each time toasting to something different.

“may he roast in hell.” “ Here’s to a new life”

The movie got better in the middle so their talking ebbed down. Sometimes it was silent, then every now and then Becca quoted something out of the movie, while Miriam called out some weird facts or things happening on screen that she noticed.

The movie ended with a glorious finale and Becca held up her glass one last time humming a very familiar tune, both women were slightly tipsy and had some difficulties grabbing their glasses.

“ To hell with lies, to hell with love, The pain, the tears, the broken heart, all of the above” They sang together.

When Miriam finally laid down in her bed later that night, Becca already snored softly, she closed her eyes listening to the sound of the darkness. She quickly thanked her friend for being there for her, but merely received a tired moan as an answer.

This was something she felt like she needed for such a long time. Balm for the soul or whatever people may call it, and she hoped this would never end. That their friendship would last forever.

The next day Miriam drove down the street after she dropped Becca at the Bus station. It was a pretty warm day and she hoped that her friend didn’t forget her water bottle. (“stay hydrated, Rebecca!!!” “Yes, Ma’am!!”)

The traffic light sprung to red and she stopped, quickly tying her curly hair up into a bun, hoping that it would help to cool her down at least a little bit. Then she took some time to look around, there was an old lady crossing the street and it took her quite a while. Miriam tried recalling the name of her, she probably knew her from her work, but she couldn’t remember. She knew she visited the elderly people’s home regularly when they planned their bingo nights.

Then there was somebody quickly walking over the grass in front of the church. The person dressed all in black stopped in front of the sign, rearranging the letters on it. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

That’s some motivational quote. Miriam smiled and thought of the old father, he would never do something like this. Even years after getting that sign it always ended up saying the same. “Come join us on sunday” That’s it.

The young guy stepped back, proudly looking at his work, he closed the bible and turned around. Now that the young woman got a closer look at him she recognized him as the new priest, the one who stepped in for Father Smith. With this proud smile on his face and his slightly disheveled raven black hair he looked quite nice. Maybe he’d bring some joy into the community for the other people. Miriam didn’t really notice she was still staring at him until he stopped to wave her a small hello, an angelic smile playing around his lips. She smiled back waving too when she saw the traffic lights going from red to green. Stepping on the gas she left the church behind, a flush of red hushing over her cheeks. God, that was unnecessary, she thought to herself, when she finally arrived at her home again. Her thoughts were still filled with that priest, it must be pretty weird to come to a community where everybody just joked about the church, despite the real strict catholics of course, but this small “circle” consisted only of five people, the rest showed up either on easter or christmas to say that they at least visited the church once a year. Miriam thought about paying it a visit again, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. And with Sunday being tomorrow she actually considered setting her foot into the church again. After all these godless years.

hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, i finally had the courage to post it, yay. Stay tuned there's more to come. oh and the song mentioned here is called "To hell with love" a song from a german punk band called the Donots

[maxiarapamaya]

Are you here to stay?

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Warnings: Mostly fluff, but there's some mild smut (+18) in there as a bonus.

Word Count: ~ 2900 words

It’s Christmas time! This is a 12 Days of Pedro Christmas fic. Yay! My secret santa is @dindjaringf​. You are such a talented writer, baby. I hope to bring you some smiles during this time of the year. Enjoy your Javier Peña fanfic. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas. All the love, @maxiarapamaya​.

Colombia, December 1988

You love Christmas. Since you were a little girl, as soon as Halloween was over, you were barely interested in Thanksgiving, so you would always ask your mom about Christmas: 

"Can we make a Christmas countdown and put it on the fridge, mom?" You asked your mother once, and even though she had a lot of stuff going on in her mind, she said yes, and helped you with your crafts, so you could have a cute little display on the fridge.

Every morning after that, you woke up - oh, she would not let you stay up late on weekdays -and went straight up to the calendar on the fridge, excited for the most wonderful time of the year.

Years later, when you had finally moved out of your mom’s house, Christmas would still be your favorite time of the year. You would be the first one to put up the decorations in the coffee shop owned by your mom, the one where you have been working hard every single day since you were a teenager: Las Americanas. 

You were proud of how far your mother had come. You were proud of her small business. You would happily go to work, especially during December, and be extra kind to clients, one free coffee here and there.

Things were nice and easy until you met him.

When you met Javier Peña in the year before, your world turned upside down.

Javier Peña did know about how much you loved Christmas, because that’s almost the time you met him at the coffee shop the year before. "You can keep the change." You heard from his lips. "Oh. Thanks. Merry Christmas!" you smiled. He looked a little puzzled back at you: "It's not Christmas yet, girl." He said, when he could have kept his mouth shut. He looked tired. 

"Well, it certainly isn't... But what harm is in celebrating just a little earlier? Have you heard about the Christmas spirit...?" You couldn't stop smiling. Until you noticed he was a cop or something like that, so you got a little tense. "Well, enjoy the rest of your day." And you promptly left him alone.

He kept coming every other day. Eventually, you found out his name. 

He noticed how you kept your distance, and he asked you to come a little closer so you could see how the gun's safety lock worked. You listened attentively. Sometimes, he would ask you to change the song when it was too romantic, or too upbeat for his taste. Your mom noticed him too but kept being discreet. She secretly wanted to you to get married and start your own family, as you were living alone in your apartment. Also, Peña looked like a nice guy. He would hold the door for the other clients, and he would always say 'thank you' which was a much-appreciated gesture for her: "He's a gentleman!"

Javier, or even, Javi, as you soon started calling him, would also let you know when you were not paying him enough attention. 

"Jealous, Javi?" You would walk pass his table, and slightly touch the top of his hand, without giving him a second glance. He didn't really know that he was.

"You know your coffee is not even that good, right, honey?" He said once, looking straight at you, wanting to get a reaction out of you. An angry look, a small, unhappy nod. Anything. 

"If you are less than satisfied, sir, maybe you could drop a suggestion in our box. It's been empty for months. We'd be glad to..." 

And he just got up, getting a little closer to you than you would be comfortable with, if you didn't know him for some time already. Almost a year had passed. 

"Maybe another time" and he left you alone. His coffee breath still in the air. You closed your eyes, feeling your whole body shivers. 

It wasn't even a cold morning.

Soon, it was almost Christmas again. Your mom had traveled to the United States for the first time in a decade, and you were happy for her. But that also meant a sadder Christmas this time, and Javier noticed. 

"You should come!" You invited him, a little more excited than you wanted him to notice. "You can bring some cognac, we could make some hot cocoa." You hinted at him, but he was absolutely paying attention to something else in his pile of files. Sometimes, he would just bring work to the coffee shop, sitting quietly and alone in the farthest booth.

You sighed, knowing that half of the people that you invited would not come over. Including him. "I'll see what I can do." You saw the smoke from his cigar rise right in front of him, filling the air. You couldn't believe how excited you were for this 'maybe'. 

"Oh..." You let it slip. "Sure. Yes, you are busy, I understand that. But I invited you for Christmas and didn't ask you to come and help me save a cousin from trouble. It was an invitation, not a favor..." You did not know why you said that, but that's when you realized you had his complete attention on you. He was so focused you saw his cigar pending from his mouth. "I will go then." He said. And you smiled at him. "Oh... Thanks, Javi!"

When he got to your home, there were a dozen of people there, and he looked a little out of place. "I thought you were going to be alone..." He gave you the cognac bottle, and you laughed. "What? I never told you I was going to be alone, Javi! I said my mom would not be here, not that I didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with!" You smiled, and you noticed that for an instant, he looked a little hurt, but you pulled his hand and introduced him to a few people.

He was still annoyed by it; he wasn't even trying to hide it. He had one thing in his mind when he came, and one thing only. "Look..." He whispered, close to your ear. "I'll have to go very soon." He looked a bit anxious. "Oh, come on, Javi. We didn't even get to the best part yet!" 

He looked serious. "Well, I just came to see you, but in a couple minutes I'll have to leave." And now you were annoyed. 

Your hushed voices were not heard by the others, especially with the loud music. "Just promise you're coming back." You lightly touched his chest. You might have had one or two glasses of wine. Maybe three. 

"You know I can never promised you that." And then he left. And it was better if he had never come in the first place, because you missed him instantly. The moment he was gone, you knew Christmas wasn't going to be the same.

Hours passed, and you were finally able to exchange gifts with your friends, and you almost forgot about Javi. They helped you clean the kitchen, and soon, the Christmas decorations were the only trace something more than ordinary had happened in your apartment that night. 

The last one of your friends left, giving you a kiss on your cheek, and all by yourself, you realized how lonely and touch starved you felt. 

You closed the door, sighing, feeling disappointed. Not in the Christmas mood at all. You walked to your closet, changing your clothes, wearing something more comfortable, and sat on your armchair, in front of the TV. You were not paying attention to it, though, you were listening to music on the radio.

That's when you heard the knocks on your door. 

Your eyes immediately caught one of your friend's coats on top of a chair near the center table. You got it in your hand and opened the door. 

"Javi?" He was standing near the opposite wall. "Javi... You came back..." He closed the distance between you two, and soon enough the coat was on the floor, his hands were all over you, his mouth brushing the sensitive skin of your neck, and your own hands were all over him, too, brushing his hair, holding his face, kissing him over and over again. "Yes, yes, I did." You knew he did not want to lose any more of his precious time, so you just went with it.

He closed the door with his foot, and held you in his arms, taking you to your bedroom, where you could only dream of having him asking you to be on your knees, and asking oh so nicely to you to look at him, while he would hold your chin, and tell you what a good girl you were being, waiting patiently for him to come back... You couldn't help but smile at him: "Oh, Javi..."

Hours later, you were on his lap on your favorite chair, your robe open, close enough to him so you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. 

Javier traced with the tip of his fingers on your arms, pressing soft kisses on your neck and shoulders. Of course he didn’t bring you anything, but you bought him a watch on that same day. 

He was a preferred client, after all - you lied to yourself.

You saw it while shopping for presents, and you knew that watch looked like something Javier would use. He was using it now. You made sure the older one hadn’t been gifted by his grandfather or something, and he denied it. “You are not saying that just so I don’t feel upset, right, Javi?” You asked him, and he shook his head. Right now, the new watch was the only thing he was wearing. “What’s the deal with Christmas, by the way? Why do you love it so much?” He pressed his chin on your shoulder, and even though you were not looking at him, you knew he was looking at the TV.

“I really don’t know when it started, but I’m like this since I was a little kid. Christmas is like a really magic time for me, I love all of this… Cooking at home... Actually, carefully planning the meal for weeks, and then, making it all from scratch. I love to watch Christmas movies, oh, I definitely love to open the presents in the morning!” You said, smiling, and then he turned you so you could look at him. “You have to wait until morning?" He looked concerned.

“Well... Only because I'm a very obedient girl...” You teased him, giving him a kiss on his neck. You were so close to him, not only physically, but also you were both connected somehow. You didn't really know how to explain.

“Actually...” He stopped you, in a soft, unusual voice. “I bought you something, and I forgot to give you. Well… I didn't have time. Did I? It’s in my pocket.” He pointed to his jacket, hanging behind the door. “Go get it.” He said, almost throwing you out of his lap, and when you were about to protest, he gave you a smack on your ass.

“Dear lord.” You straightened up, walking directly towards the door, a smile on your face. Javier Peña had bought you a Christmas present. Why would he do that? You felt weirdly touched by that. And excited too.

You got to the jacket, and put it over your shoulders, over your robe. “Why?”

You asked him, as you got closer. There was a gun somewhere in there, you didn’t want to mess with that. “Why what?” He looked back at you, a shadow of confusion on his face. “Why did you bring me something?” 

You got near him, and instead of saying something, he put his hand between your legs, and suddenly, you forgot what you were about to say. 

“Because you were nice enough to ask me to come for Christmas, even knowing I'd say 'no'... You are such a good girl, you know?” He whispered. Knowing very well you would accept his answer, close your eyes, and melt with his touch. You lower yourself until you straddle him, your arms around his neck.

He stuck his hand on his jacket's pocket and took something from there. You stopped rubbing yourself on him and looked at what he had on his hand. 

“A new pair of hoop earrings.” You said, and then you had a vivid memory of that one time you interacted with him, you were trying to close your earring, swearing a little, because you knew that one was doomed. You just took it off, both of them, and threw them away in the bin. “Are you sure you were supposed to do that?” He frowned. “What? They were a favorite... But also, they were old as dirt. Anyway, are you going to have coffee or...?”

“And people don’t really believe you have a heart deep inside you.” You smiled, easily getting them out of the package, and putting them in your ears. 

“How do I look?” You asked, showing them off, playing with your hair a little. He didn’t answer. Instead, he cupped your face with his hands and kissed you. So tenderly, so softly. "Are you staying tonight, Javi?" You meant to sound casual. 

He didn't answer, but he looked at you with tender eyes. At that moment, precisely, you fell for him.

***

Christmas morning. You were both in the kitchen, near the small table. Javi and you.

You were close enough so you could smell his breath and grab his chest if you wanted. He touched your chin and held it so you could look straight into his eyes. “You smell so good in the morning.” He said, and you fell your whole body respond, you didn’t even know how. 

You knew you wanted him, you wanted him inside you again, rather fast. “Look at you...” He murmured, deeply. “Yes...?” His free hand went to caress your thigh and he squeezed it. 

You were pretty sure there was going to be a mark over there later, as your skin was so sensitive. “What?” You sighed. “What, Javi? What?” You were so drawn to him; you couldn’t even think properly. You could barely breathe.

Forget about being patient and obedient. You would keep asking 'what' until he gave you the attention you deserved, pretty much how he would try to get yours when you were both at the coffee shop.

He pushed you softly towards the table, so you could feel the wood edge on your back. "Spread your legs for me." He demanded, getting you on his arms, and placing you on top of the table. 

You obeyed immediately, falling back a little bit. Yes, daddy. You didn't have the courage to say it out loud, but there it was. Just an innocent thought. Wasn't it?

You wanted him to get on his knees, and lick you, you wanted him to push two fingers inside you with no time to warn you. You didn't need a warn.

You had time to think about all of that in your mind, but he didn’t fulfill your wish. He opened his fly and pushed your underwear to the side, and in just a few seconds, he was deep inside you, his arms around you, holding you in place, groaning in your ears. "Fuck, Javi..." You moaned in response.

It was feral, and ruthless, and you could barely think. 

Last night, both times you had sex, he was gentle and soft to you, he smelled like cognac and cinnamon, and you loved every second of it, but this time, after some rest, your own hands carving marks in his arms, you just moved your hips as he moved, and let him pull your hair as he wished. 

You let him take his hand to your neck and choke you as you came for the first time, while he was attentively looking at you. Only you. 

He put a finger in your mouth, and you sucked it, then he bit your ear and whispered that if you wanted him to think you were a good girl, you did have to keep showing him.

You promised you would if he let you come again. And so he did.

You were on his mind, and he was still inside you. He bit your neck when he came, and you crossed your legs behind his back. 

It was shockingly delicious. You couldn't stand still anymore.

"Merry Christmas." You murmured. Happily. "Oh... For you too." He smiled.

--- Few months later, when you started hearing the name 'Steve Murphy' more and more frequently, you casually asked Javi if you could meet him. 

Javi was reluctant at first, but eventually, he brought him to the coffee shop once, quickly introducing him to you, a little anxious maybe about your reaction or Steve's, like both of you mattered to him and he didn't really know why.

Steve Murphy looked attentively at you, like that was not the first time he heard your name, and he looked really curious. You knew he wanted to ask you some questions, but Javi wouldn't let him. 

When you left them both alone to get them more coffee and maybe some yuca bread, you were able to hear that Steve ended up teasing Javi, and you just secretly smile, knowing pretty well Javi had been talking about you.

[horansqueen]

It Feels Like Christmas - Part 2

It feels like Christmas Just like Christmas It feels like Christmas with you...

Click Here if you want to be on the update list

NIALL

Have you ever felt like fate was on your side? Have you ever felt like someone, even after just meeting them, was going to have a big impact on your life? It's not like the sky opened and a light beamed down on them or anything. It's not like an angelic song started when they appeared. No, it felt more like a stomach twisting, heart jumping kind of thing. Like there was this certitude inside of you, some thought that turned quickly into a fact, the fact that the person taking a seat next to you, in your taxi, was going to change your life one way or an other. Call it faith, call it intuition, call it a blessing... all I knew was that I had to try something.

"Alright, you're the mysterious kind, I can go along with that." I replied, letting my lips curl slightly, still staring at her.

She smiled back gently and somehow, I could read a 'thank you' in the way she was looking at me. Perhaps she didn't want to tell me too much about herself, but her eyes became soft and I could swear it was not anything against me.

Her eyes left mine and she grabbed the straw in her glass to bring it to her mouth. I stared at her, trying to find the right words to tell her to make sure she wouldn't run away, and I noticed how shy she was. It didn't seem like it at first glance. In fact, you could think she was quite outgoing and social but it was the little things that made me realize she was timid. She didn't mind talking but she tried to avoid my gaze. She accepted my invitation but tried to remain as far away physically from me as she could. She made jokes and laughed at mine but played with her straw nervously when I looked at her.

"Look, I'm gonna be very honest with you Niall..." she held her breath and shook her head before licking her lips. "I really hate Christmas."

Her confession shocked me. I hadn't expected something like that to come out of her lips. I thought she'd tell me she was not interested, that she wanted me gone, or that she was too tired to stay... but her spilling her feelings about Christmas was something I would have never guessed. I mean, I didn't think that was even possible.

"Who doesn't like Christmas?" I asked, a bit baffled, shaking my head and frowning.

"Me. Mimi Armstrong." she chuckled, raising her eyebrows. "Seriously. The lights, and the snow, and everyone rushing in the streets to buy gifts for people they pretend to care about. And the songs... the SONGS. They're driving me insane. All these Christmas trees appearing in malls, kids crying to sit on Santa's laps because their parents lied to them all year long about being nice so a fake magical man will reward them... oh, and the horrible Christmas movies with orphans who find families on Christmas day? All crap."

I stared at her when she stopped talking. She was shaking her head, looking at her drink as she moved the straw in her glass before taking a sip. I just stared at her angelic round face and when she turned on her stool a bit, I noticed her facial expression and something in my heart twisted. Why wasn't Mimi Armstrong happy?

"That's a very cynical way to imagine Christmas." I simply said in a gentle tone.

Slowly, she turned to me, and when her eyes met mine, I felt my heart jump in my chest. Have you ever felt like someone was a total enigma, yet something attracted you to them as if you had known them for decades? Maybe we had met in an other life, maybe her aura just connected with mine or an other weird shit like that... or maybe I was just completely crazy.

"Perhaps I'm a cynical person, Niall Horan, you don't know much about me."

"Yet."

Her lips curled shyly and she chuckled. I don't know how I managed it, but by one in the morning, Mimi was genuinely laughing with me after an intense debate about Christmas, and a funny sharing of Christmas stories.

"Would you like to have one last drink in my room?" she asked, putting her empty glass on the counter and turning to me on her stool.

I felt my lips curl slightly and she tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, waiting for my answer.

"Are you trying to get in my pants?"

She chuckled and raised her nose up in a cute way. "I would never do that. I barely know you."

We started laughing at the same time and I let my head fall slightly on my shoulders before we got up. I left a bill on the counter to cover for the tip and followed her to the elevator, staying slightly behind her as she walked. She kept turning around to make sure I was still there, sending me a small smile every single time, and when the doors of the elevator closed in front of us, I leaned on the wall, holding myself with the small banister behind me.

"Are you really inviting a stranger to your room?" I asked in an amused tone, hoping my words wouldn't make her change her mind.

"You're not a stranger." she argued, turning her upper body to look at me. "You're Niall Horan, from Ireland! The guy who's got a guitar for his fourth Christmas! Who gets a guitar when they're four?"

"It was a toy." I laughed. "I didn't get a guitar of my own before my teen years. I used my brother's to learn."

"Alright then!" she gave in with a big smile and a shrug. "Perhaps I don't know everything about you, but that doesn't make you a stranger."

The bell of the elevator made a 'ding' and we both heard the doors open. She took a few steps back and I walked with her as she laughed. "I'm not going to sleep with you though, I just want to make sure you're aware of that."

I smiled more and put both my hands in my pockets. "Noted."

I waited as she unlocked the door and she rushed inside, bending down to look at the bottles in the bar. She brought a bunch of tiny ones and put them on the bed before going through her bag, taking out a red and white gift bag.

"Wine?" she asked, opening the bottle. "God I'm so glad I bought them a twist cap."

"Is that a gift for..."

"My parents." she cut me, nodding quickly before shrugging. "It's okay, I can buy an other one."

We ended up sitting on the bed, face to face, hitting out plastic cups together before talking a long sip of wine. It tasted expensive but I didn't mention it as she leaned against the wall, tilting her head. She seemed to study me and I let her, finishing my glass and filling it again, doing the same with hers.

"What's your favorite Christmas song?" she finally asked before my eyes got smaller as I took the time to think.

"Baby It's Cold Outside."

She frowned and chuckled, shaking her head. "Is that even a Christmas song?"

"Actually, yes it is."

"Do they even mention Christmas in that song? I don't think so." she laughed with a shrug. "It's a winter song alright, they do mention it being cold outside, that much is obvious, but that girl singing clearly didn't go on a date with that man on Christmas."

"Why not?"

I was starting to be intrigued by her theories and even if they always ended up being pessimistic, they were still interesting and I was curious.

"She would clearly be with her family. That girl's got the family values." she pointed out, making me laugh. "Also don't you think that man's a bit pushy? He insists so much after she told him a million times she had to go. He won't let her leave and that is seriously creepy."

"Maybe he feels like she doesn't really want to leave?"

"That's what a rapist would say."

This time, I laughed a bit louder. "Well, I can't say you're wrong!"

"You should find a new favorite Christmas song." she finally said, leaning closer to grab one of the bottle waiting on the bed before looking up at me again.

Her cheeks were red, her smile was immense, and her eyes seemed to shine. It could be just alcohol but she did invite me in her room, didn't she?

"Will do, I promise." I whispered, making her smile turn into a fond one.

We stayed in silence for a while, finishing the wine bottle and glancing at each other. I wanted to tell her something clever but nothing would come to mind. Actually, a lot of things did, but nothing smart or relevant.

"You know, my parents are not really my parents." she finally admitted, making me look up at her quickly. "I mean technically and legally, they are, but biologically, they're not. I was adopted."

"Oh."

"Mmhm," she continued, pressing her lips together and pouring some vodka in her glass. The taste with the wine must have been weird but I didn't mention it. "I was 13 when I was adopted. Which makes the whole thing even harder because, I remember my real parents, you know? When you're adopted as a baby, it's different, but when you have an actual past... a story with your real parents and then you get adopted, there are way more questions left unsaid. It's not that they couldn't afford to have a baby, or that they were too young. They knew you and decided you just weren't good enough."

I felt something twist in my chest as I watched her facial expression change and her eyes water. She cleared her throat and swallowed all the vodka in her glass before making a grimace.

"So you grow up bitter, and become a rebel, because if your real parents couldn't love you, then how could two strangers do? And if they were not going to love you, then you'd at least give them reasons not to." she shrugged and her eyes finally met mine. "But hey, I didn't turn out too bad, considering."

"You're an amazing young woman, Mimi." I let out in a very soft tone. "Whoever doesn't love you is a fool."

She stared at me for a few seconds, her eyes fluttering and her lips very lightly curled into a gentle but tiny smile. She passed her hand in her hair and suddenly. the moment was over.

"What about you? What's your story?"

"Nothing like that." I admitted, raising my eyebrows and grabbing a bottle of rum.

"Perfect family? I'm not surprised."

"No family is perfect." I corrected, opening the small bottle in my hands. "My parents are divorced but they don't hate each other. I don't really get along with my brother but I love him."

"You have people who love you. People who will love you despite everything, no matter what you do, or say." she whispered, licking her lips. "That must be great."

I waited but we both remained motionless. I watched her swallow hard, trying to keep her tears in, and slowly, I got up, took all the bottles left from the bed to put them away, and walked up to her. She let me take her empty glass from her hands and I sat down next to her. She hesitated but let herself fall in my arms, pressing her face in my shirt as I held her close. I leaned my cheek on the top of her head and closed my eyes. She smelled like cocoa and candy cane, and the irony of her smelling like Christmas while also hating it made me squeeze her harder against me. When I saw Mimi, I thought she would change my life but perhaps, I was the one who could shine a little light on hers. And I would do anything I could to do it.

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Eighteen

Previous Chapter Here

Notes: So sorry this took me an age to get out. Thanks for sticking with me. We’re in the end game now... 

Warnings: Heavy language. Angst. 

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 

Sarah was trying her hardest to get out of Lisa’s birthday weekend. Really trying. She couldn’t remember the last time she had put this much effort into something that wasn’t related to work or getting to a finish line she’d imposed upon herself while out on a run. 

She wasn’t a very creative person either. Not when it counted. She spent three days pathetically dropping hints that she was coming down with something. Scott dismissed it at first, insisting the fresh air would do her some good. She went as far as to suggest she was feeling quite nauseous so perhaps a five-hour-plus car journey might not be the best idea. Only she had downplayed it to such an extent, she inadvertently removed the problem from the table. 

She also tried the whole “it should be a family event” thing, but Shanna told her she was family and that she should stop mithering and start packing. 

Things got a little desperate. She wasn’t proud of herself but when Audrey had told her about a falling-out she’d had with Michael, well, it would be stupid to lose that golden opportunity. So, she told Shanna she was thinking of offering to stay and support her dear, dear friend and colleague but, with a glint in her eye, Audrey insisted it wasn’t that big of a problem. She was definitely off Sarah’s Christmas card list now. 

Truth be told, she didn’t have a legitimate reason to avoid the break. She couldn’t deny the prospect of having the entire apartment to herself for four days was enticing, though. She could enjoy some rare peace and quiet. She could read a book in a long, hot bubble bath without Shanna perching by the side and regaling her with the latest issues in her romantic life. She could cook and eat seafood without worrying about giving her best friend an allergic reaction. She could also lounge around in her pyjamas all day, or maybe even naked. 

No, not naked. She was never one for that idea. 

Carly had been filling the family WhatsApp with game ideas; some solo, some in teams. All kid-friendly, which was a speciality of the Evans’ clan. Lisa had planned a long hike for the Sunday morning followed by what sounded like an extravagant picnic with champagne, quiche and foot-long subs. She also sent a picture of three humongous bags of marshmallows, the size of small children, and suggested they could sit round a camp fire on the evening they arrive. That was assigned to Chris as his first job. 

There was also the small issue of a massive hot tub. Thanks to a new reliance on fast food during her late shifts, Sarah wasn’t much a fan of her body at the present time. That was another thing she’d have to contend with. She loved the family but forced fun in bathing suits was not really her “thing”. 

“If we get there early, we can bagsy the attic room.” Shanna suggested, nose in a gossip magazine. Sarah nodded in agreement while keeping her eyes on the television. “I’ll be damned if Scott gets it all to himself again.” 

“Sure thing.” Sarah replied, acting nonchalant and biding her time once more before she could raise again the possibility of her not going with them. 

“Don’t get anything out for dinner tonight. We’re heading to mom’s in a couple of hours. I hope that’s OK.” 

“Sure. Wait, what?” Sarah did a double take at Shanna, her face now fully hidden by her magazine. 

“Sorry!” She peaked out over the top of the page. “I forgot to say earlier but Mom wanted to have dinner at hers tonight so we can go through the itinerary in full. Make sure everyone knows what they’re bringing. I said it’d be cool ‘cos you weren’t working.” Her tone was apologetic. “You’re not doing anything, are you?” 

No, she wasn’t doing anything. And she couldn’t think of anything either. There was literally no thoughts running through her mind at that time. None that offered her any help whatsoever. Blank. Stupid, fucking, dumbass. 

“Yeh, no, of course. Makes sense.” She responded after a second had passed. She silently blew out a long breath and sank further into the couch. 

* 

When Shanna had said they were having dinner, Sarah figured it would be one of Lisa’s massive pot pies followed by the biggest tub of Neapolitan ice cream she could find. Something easy and comfortable that wouldn’t get in the way of the more pressing matters at hand, namely finalising plans for her birthday weekend. She was most certainly not expecting candles and a table runner, the fancy anniversary cutlery and four or five bottles of expensive red wine. Lisa had even added some fresh flowers as a centrepiece. 

Sarah looked down at her ripped black jeans and grey t-shirt and felt woefully under-dressed. She scolded Shanna with an annoyed look that didn’t go unnoticed. 

“I didn’t know she was planning some fancy thing, did I?!” Shanna whispered as they hung up their jackets in the hallway. “You know what she’s like.” 

Sarah did know what she was like so, really, she should have known better.

Shanna nudged her out of the way to walk into the kitchen and give her mother a hug, leaving Sarah standing in the doorway feeling like a potato and not sure how to make use of herself. She could hear Scott get beaten loudly by Carly’s husband on a computer game. She glanced her head inside the living room and waved at them, watching as they offered muffled sounds as acknowledgement of her greeting. Chris didn’t seem to be anywhere around yet which gave her some mild comfort at least. In fact, nearly a whole hour went by before he arrived. A light, summer shower had started outside and his arrival was announced to all by Lisa’s shrill tone instructing him to take his shoes off before walking on her newly shampooed carpet.  

“Yeh, ma, I got it. Gimme a break…” 

“Did you bring that picnic blanket I asked you to find? The one you brought last year? The large, tartan one?” 

 Chris gave his mother a confused look before she audibly sighed. “I asked you about it yesterday? I texted you earlier to remind you? Jesus….” 

 He shrugged off his sport jacket, placing it on top of Sarah’s, and toed his boots off before ambling into the dining room to join the others. 

 “She’s on one again.” Scott whispered to him as Chris took a seat beside him, across from Sarah and Shanna. “She called me three times this morning alone to remind me to pick up plastic cups and plates. Like I’m gonna forget something she’s messaged me about, like, a hundred times.” 

 “That’s nothing. You should see the list of jobs she’s given to Miles and Ethan.” Michael joined in. 

 “But they’re only kids.” Scott questioned him, half surprised and half...not so surprised. His memory suddenly recalled all kinds of jobs he was forced to do as a young boy, raking lawns and cleaning the family car. Michael just shrugged back at him, rolling his eyes knowingly. Scott looked between Shanna and Sarah, worrying for what she’ll impose upon them all next. 

 “She hasn’t given me any jobs yet.” Shanna said. She almost sounded offended at being left out of the menial work. The room fell silent as everyone else slyly eyed each other. “Oh, right. Thanks guys.” 

 “Hey, your job is to read the maps so we get there in one piece.” Scott finally broke the awkward silence. 

 “And Sarah? What’s Sarah’s job? I don’t think she’s been asked to do anything either.” 

 “Her job is to make sure you’re reading the map the right way around.” Chris interrupted and the room descended into fits of laughter. Shanna merely leaned back in her chair, folded her arms and cast a mental curse on her older brother. Sarah tried hard to mask a smirk that didn’t go unseen by Chris. 

 Pointedly ignoring his sister, Chris reached for the open bottle of wine closest to him. He leaned his arm across the table and offered Sarah a glass. “Want a top-up?” 

 They made eye contact for the first time in what felt like ages and he smiled at her, a slight crease appearing in the corners of his eyes so she knew it was genuine. “No, I’m OK. Better pace myself.” 

 They hadn’t seen each other, hadn’t messaged each other, in over a week. She was grateful for the break. He looked good, though. Lean and sculpted to a point that was inhuman or, at the very least, unfair to an average human being. A couple of weeks of working out and his body seemed to ping back to what it once was. It was like watching elastic snap into place. Sarah suddenly felt every single extra pound clinging to her thighs. Whenever she gained weight, it always seemed to land there. It was annoying and proved nearly impossible to remove no matter how often she ran. 

 “The hell is this?” Chris asked. He finally noticed the smooth table runner stretching out in front of him. “Are we expecting someone official?” 

 “Just keep quiet and let her do her thing.” Scott pleaded with him quietly before connecting eyes with Shanna and Sarah, everyone seemingly thinking the same thing. “Let’s try to get out of here in one piece, yeh?” 

 “What took you so long to get here, Chris?” Lisa asked as she walked back into the dining room carrying a large tray of what looked like bread rolls. She placed it down in the centre before moving to the side table to gather the salt and pepper grinders. 

 “Oh, it was just a work call.” He shrugged, confident enough in his manner that the conversation didn’t go any further. Scott elbowed him seemingly without anyone else noticing but Chris brushed him off with a shake of his head. He rested his chin on his hand as he took stock of what was in front of him, Sarah included. 

 His beard was thicker and apparently untended to, Sarah noticed, now that things had quietened down. He glanced at her through his lashes as things grew quiet and Lisa started dishing out vegetables to everyone. Lisa had a particular way of handling large family dinners – lessons learned from cooking for many kids over the years. You knew to wait until everyone had something on their plate before making moves for any more. It all smelled delicious. As unnerved as Sarah felt with the formality laid out in front of her, she had to admit she was looking forward to some proper home-cooked food. 

 Chris kept looking at Sarah, hands folded in her lap, polite as always, waiting for everyone else to go in front of her. He saw Michael help himself to three bread rolls before passing the plate back round to Lisa. Michael was a tall, hefty man whose appetite never seemed to be affected by anything. Even when he had horrendous flu that left him in bed for a fortnight, he still managed to put a lot away. He had never once experienced food poisoning. 

 “If you’re waiting for everyone else, there’ll be nothing left.” Chris spoke as he leaned in towards her so she could hear him over the sounds of cutlery and enjoyment. “Just go for it.” 

 She smiled shyly back at him and thanked Lisa for cooking what appeared to be a mini-feast. 

 “Can you pass the butter, please?” Shanna asked as she reached her arm over Sarah’s plate, forcing Sarah to lean back in her chair. She stretched her other arm out for the gravy that Scott was currently pouring over his plate. 

 “You’re always so polite.” Chris chuckled. “Shan, can you stop getting in the way and let the poor girl eat.” 

 “Huh?” Shanna questioned, unaware of what was going on. 

 “You’re getting in her way.” 

 “No, she’s fine. It’s fine.” Sarah quickly interrupted as she sensed him bristle with frustration. 

 He looked at her for another second before shaking his head. Shanna threw her brother a look of puzzlement but Scott appeared just as confused by his sudden tone.

 “Bet this beats McDonald’s, eh Sarah?” Carly said, before giggling to herself. 

“You’re telling me. I can’t remember the last time I ate something green and fresh.” 

 “Michael is so jealous.” 

 Michael’s ears perked up as he turned to his wife and Sarah. “Damn straight. Being only able to eat burgers and fries is, like, the dream scenario.” 

 “Why have you been on so many night shifts lately anyway?” Chris asked, a mouth full of chicken, placing the spotlight firmly on her. 

 She tried to shrug it off, act casually. “Audrey needed some extra support and I figured it would do me good to work in a few more nights. I always seem to manage to get out of them.” 

She was fast hoping Lisa would start discussing the impending trip to distract everyone but no such luck. 

 This felt like it was going to be a long night. 

 “It gave you time off for this weekend so swings and roundabouts, eh?” Shanna added. “Speaking of which, is there anything you need us to do for the trip, Mom? I noticed everyone else has jobs and lists except for us.” Shanna inquired, not quite able to hide the mild accusatorial tone creeping into her words. 

 “Um, no, I don’t think so, honey. Just trying to keep it as casual as possible.” 

Scott nearly choked out a chunk of potato. Chris, side-eyeing Michael’s increasingly red face, tried his hardest not to bark out in laughter. It was tough. Lisa noticed it, too. Choosing to ignore it, she turned back to her daughter. 

 “I meant that things are under control now so there’s no need to add to the pile. As long as you get there on time, that’s all I’ll ask for.” 

 Shanna wasn’t feeling convinced and the smug grin now on Chris’ face wasn’t helping to reassure her either. She turned to Sarah to see if she was thinking the same thing as her but Sarah just kept her eyes on the plate of food in front her, hoping that if she continued eating and finished as quickly as possible, she could get home again. 

 “I can do something, Mom.” She protested. “I could bring that lawn bowling game again?” 

 “Actually, Michael has one of those. It’s a bit newer and the skittles are heavier so the wind won’t keep knocking them over.” Carly spoke up before glancing apologetically at her sister. “He just got it from a friend at work, so… No biggie.”  

“What about wine and drinks? We could stop off on the way up?” 

 “I put an order in for all of that.” Lisa responded with a casual wave of her hand. “It’ll be here the day before so I’ll pack it up here before we set off. Speaking of which, anyone for more wine?” 

 Shanna remained quiet as the family conversed about nothing in particular. Carly was talking about some game the kids at school had taught her that might be fun for the weekend but nothing could remove the unease surrounding her sister. Sure, Shanna wasn’t the most reliable when it came to shopping lists and sticking to plans but it was unlike Lisa not to call upon her for something, no matter how small and inconsequential it might be. 

 Attention turned from one brother to the next as discussions about carpooling took over. Chris really wanted to use the trip as an excuse to take his new Audi for a drive but with all the gear he and Scott had to bring, there wasn’t much room for anything or anyone else. 

 “Except maybe Sarah?” Chris posed the question, keeping it casual. “You could tag along with us and then Shanna could go with mom, I guess.” 

 “I was thinking of hiring a car myself actually.” Chris looked surprised at Sarah’s sudden offer. She hated driving. “We could take some of the load off everyone else then. Lisa? We could pack up some of your stuff?” 

 Sarah had loosely discussed this with Shanna some time ago but they had ultimately decided against it because, well, she really hated driving. Now, however, sensing her friend’s growing despondency, she figured it might help her feel more useful. Plus, it would give Sarah some control over when they could head back home again. 

 Shanna looked at her friend and smiled gratefully. 

 “That’s very kind of you, Sarah. I supposed you both could go on ahead and get the keys from Maggie and we could meet you there soon after? I said we would be getting there some time around the early afternoon if that’s alright with you both?” Lisa requested, opening another bottle of wine. Shanna nodded, a smile wide on her face now and she felt a sense of relief. 

 Sarah mentally calculated backwards from “early afternoon” and reasoned they would need to be up and out of the apartment by 7am at the latest. Suddenly, her role in proceedings made more sense where Shanna was concerned. She gladly accepted a new glass of wine and made a mental note to contact the car rental in the morning. 

 “You know who you should ask about renting cars?” Scott asked. “Greg, of course! I bet he knows a guy who knows a guy who is the son of the guy that started Mercedes. Or something. Either that or he probably has shares in Hertz.” 

 Sarah rolled her eyes at him, laughing. He probably wasn’t wrong. 

 “OK there, brother. You need to ease up on the wine” Chris pushed Scott’s glass further away and patted him on the back. “There you go, little sis. Looks like you have a job after all.” 

 A clear sign of Chris’ irritation was when he chose to be patronising. Shanna was taken aback by his tone and Sarah felt her friend sink back into her chair, irritated. Sarah raised her eyebrow at him but all he did was shrug, playing innocent. Not his strong point. 

 The room stayed silent for a little while as people finished up their meals. As much as she originally wanted to pace herself, Sarah didn’t object when Scott filled her glass up yet again. He turned in his chair to place the empty bottle on the side table alongside the others. It was then that Sarah noticed all of the other empties. Had they really drunk that much? In little more than an hour? She clocked the time and there still seemed to be plenty of food left. They would be travelling much of it home as afters at this rate. Chris left the room briefly and returned with a couple of beers for him and Michael. 

 “What are you gonna do with all this left-over food, ma?” Chris asked as he sat back down indicating a second tray of roast potatoes that had so far gone untouched. 

 “Please don’t let us take any.” Sarah joked, holding her hands up in playful protest. 

 “What?” Scott asked before laughing. He looked at his sister before smiling broadly at Sarah as he watched her cheeks blush red. 

“Oh, she’s feeling self-conscious about her weight.” Shanna answered, nudging her under the table. That was helpful of her, thought Sarah. She could feel herself heating up as they all looked at her, waiting for her to speak up again. Chris took a swig of beer from his bottle and leaned his forearm on the table. 

“No way in hell are you fat, Sarah. That’s ridiculous.” Scott combatted. “You’re really trim, being on your feet all day. I’d love to give you my fit-bit some time. I’d probably gain a few thousand steps.” 

 Sarah laughed out loud. “Thank you, Scott. Can we please change the subject?” 

 “So, you’ll be wearing a two-piece, yeh?” Chris asked. She turned to look at him suddenly before chuckling nervously. 

 “Um, I have no idea yet. Are we even going to use the hot tub?” 

 “I won’t be.” Lisa laughed. 

 “Oh, we all definitely will! It’s the height of summer and that thing can fit a dozen people. Ample room for comfort!” Scott enthused. He should be a salesman. 

 “And it’d be a real shame if you didn’t join in, Bernette.” 

 She felt her skin heat up under Chris’ gaze as he attempted to hide the fact he was looking at her by taking another long swig from his beer bottle. “I’m not apologising for that by the way. As a man and your friend, I can say that and you can’t get mad at me.” 

 “What?” Scott asked. It was a valid question in the circumstances. “What a…weird thing to say.” Scott laughed a little uncomfortably but Chris didn’t break eye contact with Sarah. 

 “So,” Michael attempted to add some humour back into the room. “Bet it’s nice sleeping during the daytime now you’re on lates? I used to love lazing around the house when I did them.” 

 Scott nodded enthusiastically in agreement, slapping his hand on the table. “I remember night shoots on this one TV drama I did a few years ago and honestly, the sleep I got the next day was the best ever. I don’t know why but I always tend to sleep better in the daytime.” 

 “Funny, that’s what your teachers used to say.” Chris joked, swigging his beer. Lisa giggled and fondly touched her son’s elbow. 

 “Oh ha ha ha. You’re so funny. I swear if you’re this amusing this weekend, I might not survive my sides splitting open.” Scott rolled his eyes. “Which reminds me, we should figure out rooms now so there’s no fighting on the day. No way am I sharing with this idiot.” 

 “You only wanna do that ‘cos you know we’ll be there first and we will be bagsying the attic this time.” Shanna thumbed the space between her and Sarah. 

 “You don’t deserve the attic.” Chris pointed. “You’ll be half-cut the entire weekend, like last time. You won’t enjoy the space or the views.” 

 “Excuse me? What do you care?” Shanna retorted. 

 “You spent a whole day in bed with a hangover last time. If you’re gonna be sharing with Sarah, it’s not fair on her to have to look after you. Again. It’ll spoil her weekend as well.” He explained. “She deserves a break just as much as you do.” 

 Shanna looked aghast at her friend before regarding her brother again. She shook her head in disbelief. “I can handle my drink, OK? I was just gonna say that it wouldn’t be fair if Scott got that room all to himself. Especially if he’s on his own again.” 

 “Thanks sis.” 

 “Sorry, Scott. But…y’know. If anything, Mom should have it.” She suggested, looking towards her mother in hopes that she might appreciate the offer.

“Thanks sweetie but I’ll be staying in the guest house this time. With Carly, Mikey and the kids.” 

 “Since when?” Chris asked, surprised. 

 “We just figured it would be easier this time around. Plus, I can help with the kids and you guys can sort breakfast for us all. Get your pancake apron out again, hun.” She winked at him, sipping her wine. 

 “Chris is a great tosser.” Shanna said under her breath. 

 “Shanna….” Lisa nudged her. 

 “Wait, so does this mean we get a room each then?” Scott interrupted. He wasn’t even sure of what he was saying as the wine haze gradually descended over him. “Sarah?” 

 “I have absolutely no idea.” 

 “I’ve lost track of what’s going on now.” Scott said. 

 “That doesn’t answer the question of who gets the attic, though?” Shanna asked, a little whinier than she had intended. 

 “If Sarah and I take the downstairs rooms, we can figure out breakfast in the mornings.” Chris suggested. “And you can have your precious attic. That makes it easier, right? Does that make you happy, Shanna? Good.” 

 “What’s crawled up your ass and died this evening?” Shanna asked, irritated. 

“Oh my god, Shanna, it’s a fucking bedroom.” He practically spitted. “You keep dragging everything out and making everything into a bigger deal than it needs to be.” 

 “No, I’m not!” 

 “Yes, you are! I’m just making the decisions so we can all move the fuck on.” 

“Chris!” Lisa reprimanded her son and regretted over-ordering on the wine. 

 “It’s alright now.” Sarah attempted to calm things down. “I think we’ve pretty much figured it out so it’ll be fine.” Carly nodded and nudged Michael to offer something by way of support but he looked just as baffled by the tension as she did. 

 Chris landed his bottle on the table hard. “Sarah, you don’t need to keep standing up for her. She’s a big girl. She should be able to figure it out now without you babysitting her all the goddamn time.” 

 “What?!” Shanna also slammed her glass down on the table and looked to Scott and Carly for some back-up but they both seemed frozen to their respective spots. “I don’t need babysitting.” 

 “OK, guys. Dessert? I have pecan pie and or ice cream?” Lisa offered, standing up from her seat and making a shade more noise than necessary in the hope it might snap the kids out of whatever funk they were in. 

 Chris glared at his sister a beat too long and she returned the favour before turning away with a look of disgust. “You’re gonna be heaps of fun this weekend, I can tell.” Shanna shrugged. “Clearly, I’m not the one we need to be concerned with. Maybe it’s you that needs babysitting?” 

 “Fuck you!” Chris stressed, just low enough to miss his mother’s ears. 

Carly’s eyes grew wide in shock and for a second, Chris looked like he might apologise. Sarah reached a hand under the table to gently tap Shanna on her leg. Shanna felt it but didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, she leant on her elbow and rubbed her earlobe between her thumb and forefinger, a sure sign she was feeling upset and possibly trying to stop tears forming. Sarah tried to get Chris’ gaze back on her but he continued eying his sister, no apology yet materialising. He was a loose cannon when he was in this mood and she didn’t much want to stick around and find out what might happen if he downed another beer. 

 “We should probably think about heading home, Shan. I’ll check for an Uber.” Sarah stated. 

 “Don’t do that, I’ll give you a lift, hun. It won’t take long. We can have some pie and then go if you like.” Carly offered with a wink and for the first time that evening, Sarah noticed she hadn’t been drinking. 

 “Always looking out for you, aren’t we?” Chris said, lowly. 

 “Do you wanna calm down?” Shanna asked. 

 “I am calm.” Chris replied. “I’m just having a nice time, right? That’s what we’re all doing here, yeh? Sarah?” 

 “Sorry?” 

 “Are you having a good time?” He pressed. 

 She was sure he was leading her into a trap. 

 “I am OK. Sure.” She spoke each syllable carefully, trying to warn him off from whatever his motive was. 

 “I don’t believe you.” 

 She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, or anyone. She held her hands in her lap and paid attention to the air she was now breathing in deeply. 

 “Oh Jesus Christ!” Shanna called out. She was growing more and more frustrated with her brother by the second. 

 “Shanna!” intercepted Lisa. 

 “No! He’s being a dick and I wanna know why!” She turned back to Chris. “What the hell have I done to piss you off?!” 

 He stayed quiet, blocking her voice out. He focussed as much of his energy as he could at Sarah sitting across from him, willing her to look back at him, to let him know it was going to be OK. He swung between feeling regret and feeling practically and absurdly confident. It was the beer obviously. It really felt like a now-or-never moment. Fuck it. 

 “I’m sorry, Sarah.” 

 Sarah finally looked up at him, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes. Her feet felt like they were weighed down with concrete to the spot underneath. She tried to feel them, to grab at the carpet between her toes. She was pretty sure she could no longer hear what was going on around her as she felt her heart beat inside her ears. 

 “Why are you apologising to her? I’m the one that’s upset!” countered Shanna, jabbing her finger at him, aggressively. 

 He shook his head before looking back at his sister. “I’m sorry, Shanna. I wish there was a better way of saying this but I guess not. I’m just…” 

He paused as he tried to find the words. Sarah felt her heart sink. What felt like goosebumps suddenly appeared up and down her arms. Chris looked at her again. Scott looked at her, too, picking up on something for the first time but what, he couldn’t work out. Damn that second bottle. 

 “I’m just tired.” Chris offered. Carly looked to Michael but he knew nothing of what was happening. “Of this.” 

 “Is it work again?” Lisa enquired. “Maybe you could work in some time off this time around, so you’re not away from home for as long.” 

 “No, it’s not work, ma. I’m just tired in general. Of a lot of things. People.” He pronounced each syllable as clearly as he possibly could. “And I know it sounds pathetic and you’re probably thinking I’m being selfish but I really don’t fucking care.” 

 “I…I don’t understand, honey.” 

 “Yeh, what are you talking about?” Shanna turned to her friend but her stare wasn’t quite matched by Sarah who looked like she was waiting for the ground to swallow her whole. ���Does anyone know what the hell he’s talking about? Or why I am in the firing line for it all of a sudden?” 

 “Shan, I don’t think-” Scott started but the glare from his sister stopped him in his tracks. Scott looked at Sarah and things started falling into place. For some reason, of all the memories to have at that moment in time, his mind flashed back to standing out on his brother’s terrace on the evening of his birthday party. Chris had been distracted and checking his phone, even more than usual so Scott was certain it had something to do with a girl. Normally, he’d feel a sense of pride at being right but it didn’t feel altogether appropriate in the current circumstances. 

 “What the hell is going on?” Shanna pressed. She looked to Scott who had his gaze fixed firmly on his brother. “Do you know, Scott?” 

 Scott looked to his brother and when Chris met his gaze, he knew. He knew Scott knew, too. Call it brotherly intuition but something had connected for him and Chris was all the more grateful for it. 

 “Do you ever feel tired or dictating everyone else’s happiness?” Chris asked, breaking the silence. 

 Shanna dropped her hands on her lap in frustration. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? When have I ever dictated your happiness?” 

 “Do you even realise what people do for you? Do you ever take notice of everyone around you, going out of their way to make you feel better even if it makes them feel worse? Take tonight for example. Sarah doesn’t even wanna drive this weekend. She fuckin’ hates it, you know this, but she’s doing it anyway so that you can feel useful. It’s pathetic.” 

 “What? You heard her, she just offered.” 

 “Because you’ve been moaning about not having anything to do! If you’d just moved on, shut up, she probably wouldn’t have needed to.” 

 “That’s not true. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Shanna dismissed him. 

 “Why don’t I get the car running and you guys can meet me outside in 5?” Carly proposed, indicating to Sarah that she should try and gather her things, Shanna included. 

 Chris completely ignored Carly. “And you’ve asked her what she wants, right?” 

“Chris, please…” It was pathetic. Sarah knew that. 

 “I just don’t get it, Sarah.” He turned to her with a half-hearted shrug. “I’ve thought about it all week but I just don’t understand what you are getting out of this. Surely, I give you more than this?” 

 “OK.” Lisa got up from the table and moved round to where Shanna was sitting, rubbing a hand across the back of her shoulders as though it was in preparation of something, but Shanna abruptly pushed her hand away. 

 “Sarah and I have been seeing each other. For a little while. A few months maybe, I lost track of time.” 

 Shanna’s jaw dropped. Scott should have felt something but after glancing at his mother stood in front of him on the other side of the table, and recognising the same look in her eyes, he stayed quiet. He saw Sarah close her eyes and figured someone should try and comfort her, too, but it was hard to know where to stand.

 Shanna found some strength to open her mouth a few times but no sound came out, until… “What?” 

 “You don’t need to worry, though. It’s over now.” He placed his bottle of beer on the table and leaned back. He placed his fingers on the edge, running them up and down the smooth, varnished wood. “She ended it by the way. Because she knew you wouldn’t be happy.” 

 Shanna’s mouth hung open, dry. “Is that true?” She turned to Sarah. “Were you with him?”

 “I just said so, didn’t I?” 

 “I wasn’t asking you!” 

 Chris wasn’t sure what he was hoping for in that moment. He looked at Sarah and felt sadness. Sadness at the pain evidently coursing through her body in that moment. She looked small and deflated somehow. He felt astonishingly sober, more’s the pity. He wished he could go to her and hold her but he knew it was the last thing she wanted. Probably what anyone would have wanted. It wouldn’t have helped matters and he wasn’t sure anything he could say now would do that job either. 

 Sarah took in an audible breath and looked at her friend. She blinked back the few tears that had gathered but it only seemed to make things worse. “I’m…sorry. I don’t know what to say.” 

 “I think I’ll just…” Michael pointed to the door and left the table as quickly as he could manage, no doubt to fill Carly in. 

 “Oh my God.” Shanna replied. She put her face in her hands and didn’t move. “I don’t believe this.” 

 Sarah looked beyond Shanna to Lisa who offered her a surprisingly reassuring smile that she was definitely not expecting. Did she feel grateful for it? She had zero clue. “I’m so sorry.” 

 “We don’t have anything to be sorry for, Sarah.” It was the gentlest tone Chris had spoken in all night. “Shan, I know it’s a lot to take in right now but you should know that this wasn’t just some fling or something utterly stupid. There’s a real thing here.” He looked to Sarah for reassurance. “Right?” 

 Sarah couldn’t look him in the eye. 

 “OK, I know I haven’t handled this in the best way-” 

 “-That’s an understatement.” Scott finally found his voice. 

 “-I accept that and for that, I am really sorry, I promise you. But you have to see things from my perspective here.” 

 “Chris, I don’t think that’s what needs to be said right now, OK? Your sister is very upset and I think you should maybe head home to sleep this off. Scott, can you...?” 

Scott nodded in agreement and left the room to grab both their jackets. 

 “Mom, this isn’t-” 

 “-I know.” She held her hand up to stop him. The less he said now, the better. At least until a few hours had been put between them. Chris, resigned, agreed. 

He looked at Sarah again hoping for something, anything, that might make him think things were going to be alright. Lisa noticed the plea in his eyes, practically begging her to look at him. 

“Sarah, sweetheart, you both can stay here tonight. I think we should probably be together for a bit, yeh?” 

 Sarah was flummoxed by the offer but grateful at the same time. She knew Shanna wouldn’t say anything to her if they just went home again, if she would even come back to their apartment at all. She’d shut her bedroom door and not emerge for some time and that would have driven her mad. She wanted to get out of there as fast as she could but…this was perhaps better. Safer. 

 It was going to be a long night. 

 *