#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like

[thotsfortherapy]

having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

Maybe I’m just getting older, but I really don't get this antagonistic attitude that people have when it comes to media criticism. 

Nobody is sitting here saying that all criticism is good and that you should listen to every piece of criticism you get. Because guess what? Not all criticism is argued in good faith, nor does anybody like getting criticized. 

But it’s important to learn how to deal with criticism, otherwise how are we supposed to improve? 

I also hate how some folks assume that just because I’m critical of Viv and her shows, then that must mean I have some sort of personal vendetta against her. When I really don’t. 

Truth be told, I legit hate that people think that I’m a Viv anti or that I only made this blog to criticize her shows. As anybody who actually bothered to browse through my archive would know that I’ve talked about (and criticized) other things that aren’t related to Viv. 

My life doesn’t revolve around Viv you guys, I don’t wake up every morning and think “I wonder what Viv is up to?” I just go about my day like every other human being. 

The reason I criticize Viv so much is that I’m genuinely curious as to why so many people within the animation industry hold her in such high regard. Is it because she came from an indie background? Do people love the “Indie creator gets her own show” narrative so much that they’re willing to overlook all her creative shortcomings? 

It’s weird watching the same folks who were dunking on Velma praise Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, because you damn well know that if Velma did the “Characters are in a room that’s decorated in dildos and vibrators” gag, Twitter would have a collective meltdown. 

And yet for some odd reason, Viv’s shows are held to such higher standards that I honestly start to wonder if all these industry professionals watched the same shows that I did. Because I’m struggling to think of a single Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss joke that genuinely got a laugh out of me. 

“But humor is subjective” okay, then why does Viv get so defensive whenever someone criticizes the humor that’s found in her shows? 

Really don’t understand why she goes out of her way to complain about her critics when she could easily ignore them. She’s under no obligation to respond to her critics, but she keeps vague posting about all the criticism she gets because she literally cannot handle getting criticized. 

Here’s the thing, Viv’s fans tend to assume that just because I'm critical of something that’s popular, then that means I don’t get criticized. When that certainly isn’t the case. 

I’ve been criticized for being critical of the current state of indie animation, I got a bunch of hate from racist nerds for liking the My Adventures With Superman version of Livewire, and recently someone responded with a full length essay to a post of mine that was critical of Primos. 

But the difference between me and Viv is that I don’t constantly post vague backhanded insults regarding my critics on social media. If I feel a piece of criticism is worth addressing, then I’ll address it and if not? Then I’m not going to bother. 

Trust me, I haven’t lost any sleep over the fact that a bunch of random internet folks don’t like me.

[aemiron-main]

mike having food issues isn’t a stretch, begging people to quit acting like it is

i just think it’s funny that people treat the idea of “there’s subtext that points to mike having issues with food” as some sort of ridiculous stretch and claim that it’s all just based on finn’s body when the show literally gave us Mike being mocked by other characters because of his weight, when Angela’s friend calls him a twig:

Like. I’m sorry to everyone who’s pointing out the urban dictionary of twig referring to a gay man, but even if that’s also the case, even if the duffers were consulting urban dictionary, the reality is that it’s far more commonly used to refer to someone skinny in a rude way.

Mike’s also the character who mocks Hopper’s weight in s3, calling his face a “fat tomato,” and then interestingly enough, we see tomato imagery again when Chrissy’s mom is tormenting her about her weight and directly contributing to her ED:

El is the one who makes the tomato comment, but Mike is the one who brings weight into it.

And then the next time we see tomato imagery is when Chrissy’s mom is tormenting her about her weight and we get the tomato pin cushion, and with the way the scene is setup, out attention is drawn to that cushion when you actually watch the shot in motion.

I feel like a lot of people on here have a very narrow definition of disordered eating and are basing all of their criticism on that narrow definition and are acting like everyone is saying that Mike is a Typical Anorexic Who Is Constantly Aware Of His Problems With Food. Instead, what I’m saying, at least, is that there’s strong subtext that points to Mike having anxiety and avoidance related food issues that stem from the frequent conflict at the Wheeler dinner table (something we see again in S4 when there’s conflict at the Byers’ dinner table and they go out of their way to show that Mike isn’t eating and also show Will noticing the fact that Mike isn’t eating), which still very much constitutes an eating disorder.

Will stares at Mike’s plate repeatedly, even when the scene cuts away and back to him. This isn’t a one time glance, Will literally cannot keep his eyes on his own plate:

It happens throughout the whole scene. Not only is the audience noticing that Mike isn’t eating, but other characters are noticing too.

And we also see Nancy calling Mike “disgusting,” for his food choices in S1, which is an offhand, relatively mild comment on its own, but when combined with the constant conflict at the Wheeler dinner table, especially conflict at criticism directed at Mike specifically, it becomes a setup for Mike’s anxiety and avoidance related food issues.

The setup is there for Mike to have avoidance/anxiety-related issues with food. It’s in the show, whether you’re comfortable with it or not.

I genuinely think that a lot of people on here (even those who have struggled with disordered eating themselves, because one person’s experience does NOT mean they understand everyone’s experience) could benefit from a deeper and wider understanding of what constitutes an eating disorder/disordered eating and various types of eating disorders, including ARFID. Disordered eating is far more common than people think it is, and it isn’t limited to “person who knowingly starves themselves because they hate their body,” it frequently has nothing to do with a person’s body at all, and just because you’ve had a different experience or a lack of knowledge of other experiences and research about eating disorders doesn’t negate the existence of knowledge and experiences that are different from yours.

Hopper very much deals with a disordered mentality around weight and food, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the same applies to Mike (albeit in a different way) considering how often the two of them are paralleled and how often those parallels are scenes that specifically relate to size/weight (see: Mike calling Hopper fat in S3, and the S4 hug scene where mike comments on Hopper’s weight/him shrinking).

I’ve repeatedly seen people say things about how there’s a “million other reasons,” for all of these scenes involving Mike and his food issues, and yet, they conveniently, never actually provide those magical alternate reasons, and would rather try and make people out as being weird for pointing out obvious subtext in the show. The evidence I’ve provided here is barely scraping the surface of all of the evidence that points towards Mike having food issues, and yet, people act like it’s some ridiculous stretch but also never actually provide an alternate explanation because apparently “the guy who’s frequently shown signs of anxiety and avoidance issues and self esteem issues and whose family dinner table is full of conflict and criticism directed at him has some anxiety and avoidance and self esteem issues that are tied to the conflict directed at him at his family dinner table,” is simply a far-off, insane stretch.

Begging people to put their thinking hats on and be willing to accept that their knowledge on a topic might be missing pieces and that they may be looking at a topic such as disordered eating through a narrow lens.

[thenamessparkplug]

The Bad, The Worse, and The Downright Idiotic

A Wiatt Nicholson Analysis

YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE WAITED TO VERBALLY KILL THIS DUDE. I HAVE BEEN STRANGLING HIM WITH MY MIND SINCE THE COLLAPSE OF THE BUILDING. AND THIS IS WHY.

DISCLAIMERS!! : One, I have absolutely nothing against any of the writers on this show! You all are doing a fantastic job for how small this series is and I do genuinely adore the work you guys do < 3. Second, I want to make it clear that I do not condone anything Sara has done on her own terms. And she has done bad things on her own terms. She has done horrible things and I do not think that should be brushed under the rug. I do, however, believe her to be redeemable. 

(side note I did get a lil sidetracked when talking about sara, whom I also have strong feelings towards and'll prolly get her own rant in the future)

What has Wiatt done?

Now Wiatt seems to have his heart in the right place, however good intentions hardly amount to much when your actions directly cause death, suffering, and irreversible damage.  

He can’t tell that so much of what’s going on is because Litho knows he’s going to lead people directly into his own plans. This especially became evident in the last episode. Did he not remember the risks of anything relating to Litho?? Why on earth would he think it was safe for Pen, Lisa, or even Hayden whom narrowly survived? 

I know by this point to take everything character’s say with a grain of salt (and I know this isn’t directly Wiatt’s fault either), but I really wanna get into what Hayden said while yelling at Wiatt. He states that since he arrived at dreamworld, someone has gone missing every week. Wiatt has worked here for at least a year. Even considering taking a month off for the collapse fiasco, that is 47 weeks. 47 people. THAT IS INSANE. Even cutting that number in half for hyperbole’s sake that’s still 23 missing people since Wiatt started. Jesus christ man. 

What else has he done? He broke Starlight after recklessly jumping into a hole, got wtdw!rainbott seemingly mindwiped, recorded entirely private and frankly unrelated moments and UPLOADED them, been responsible for the deaths of his coworkers (to name a few anyways), and what does he have to show for it? A police station that thinks he’s insane. He couldn’t possibly have been more tactless trying to convince them to begin an investigation. 

It seems he thinks that because the people he’s against are bad, that automatically makes him good - in the right - but he is so blinded by his sense of a binary wrong and right he fails to see the horrible things he himself has caused. 

Against the Antagonist

I wanna talk about Sara for a second. From what we’ve learned thus far, and I know we haven’t gotten all that many Sara scenes, almost all of what Sara does seems to be attempting to clean up a mess she made many years ago, in comparison to Wiatt who does absolutely nothing but stir the pot.

Sara is stuck here; she is bound to Litho and cannot escape no matter how hard she wants to. She had friends. She’s doing what Litho wants because she has to. We saw what happened when she tried to defy him. Wiatt is only here because of one connection, but could literally leave whenever he wants no harm no foul.

Now the Norman thing I am curious about, because so far, I can’t figure out why 1. she killed him in the first place and certainly 2. why she kept the footage of it. She never seemed to hate Norman, if anything she would be against him for clearly being infatuated with Andrew, and I can’t really blame her for that? I mean nothing is enough to justify murder, but it wouldn’t be in cold blood. I’m also assuming this is before Dreamworld Entertainment due to the fact that Norman seemingly had no involvement. Another odd thing not only was he rebuilt to look exactly like he did when he was alive, but he retained all of his memories as well, and was given a higher power among the staff of Watchful Eye Toys, with memory control himself.

Whatever happened during his death must have been important.

But back to Wiatt. All of Sara actions, albeit terrible, were calculated and she did what she believed was necessary. Wiatt has no concept that his actions have consequences, so all he does is messy things up, making everything far worse than it needed to be.

Why should I care? (Comparison to Eric)

At the very beginning when Eric is first introduced, we are given no reason to care at all about him. I mean, we know he was friends with Lewis but that’s not enough to really grow any attachment to him. We start learning little facts about him, but when it really clicks is during the secret tapes.

Seeing Eric outside of the main plot, his real personality, his hopes, his dreams, his struggles starting from a young age up until how he is today. We’re given the chance to build connections with him and see him as a real person, a character with depth. Knowing his motivations and what built him makes it so easy to grow extremely attached, making any horrific things hit much harder.

Now moving back to Wiatt, we really don’t get to see the real him. We see him once interacting with Lewis, but even that was simply for plot relevance. We really know nothing about him. Even his transition, which would be so easy to capitalize on seeing as the viewership of Dreamworld is highly LGBTQ+, and many people would relate. But we get more about Mike’s transition than Wiatt, and he’s only ever had one real scene as himself.

That’s not even dipping into who Wiatt is as a person. What are his passions? Who are his loved ones outside of just Lewis? What was school like for him? What got him into the mechanic business? Who took care of him after his parents died? I understand this can be hard to smoothly integrate into a story but look how well it worked with Eric’s tapes.

Now this is getting much more into the writing side of the show, but I think something that's kind of lacking is character building filler. As much as having a concise plot is nice, without scenes or even full episodes dedicated to fleshing out our cast, it makes it really difficult to connect.

There’s so so much of his character to explore that we just never get into, and it kinda makes it hard to root for him when there’s nothing backing his character. Just like, a few more tapes of Wiatt would be plenty, something outside of Lewis. I would love to see his relationships with other characters (you cannot build a sense of character off one single relationship), how he views himself, just anything.

Its incredibly difficult to analyze a character when they seemingly have no depth.

In Conclusion

I am not a fan of Wiatt as it currently is (understatement of the year), but good god am I persuadable. I just want Dreamworld to give me a reason to root for him. Something to sympathize with, relate to. Have him improve. Allow him to realize his mistakes, and become a better person for that.

I don’t think he’s a lost cause.

But give me a reason to believe that.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that Persephone really got intimate with someone despite her sexual trauma and we just glossed over it like it did not matter. I don’t see how anyone could be satisfied or okay with this shit since the situation was a huge plot point for years, not months, YEARS. Yet the time when it finally came up to it everything was rushed and never spoken about again, like Persephone’s trauma is important and I don’t can’t understand how no one ever questioned that.

Like I keep saying in these damn rants, Hades has a plethora of explanations for his trauma and whole dedicated chapters towards Kronos and being eaten. Everything he does ties back to it and it’s clear that this affected him in a major way since we were able to actually see how different he was after the fact. We know so much shit about the Kronos situation yet we barely know bits and pieces about Persephone’s trauma and that gets on my fucking nerves, am I asking anyone to be descriptive? No. Am I asking anyone to speak on it every other chapter? No, but what I am asking is why didn’t it actually matter. The assault felt like it was only there to establish a bad guy, it also felt like it was only there to make Hades a knight in shining armor to save Persephone mainly because nothing she did up until then made any fucking sense. Something terribly traumatic happened to you and you’re telling me you’re going to tell that very personal and vulnerable piece of information to a guy from a party you got absolutely wasted at, ended up in his home, almost got attacked by his dog, and was offered to have sex with him over the slightest bit of shoulders revealing themselves. That’s absolutely manufactured, it doesn’t even make sense in the story at all which makes me feel like it was set up just so Persephone would have a reason to talk to Hades.

Which I personally feel is really fucked up, why did anyone think it was a good idea to have her assault be the reason why they’re made for each other? Persephone could’ve called him for literally anything else to build their friendship since she already was under the impression that they were friends, I don’t understand why she would trust him of all people when he was literally trying to get in her pants out of nowhere. And then every single thing tied to Apollo and her trauma in later chapters always somehow involved Hades, FOR NO REASON. It’s been established that she has a completely different support team that doesn’t even include Hades yet he’s the main one always there whenever she “needs to be rescued”, there’s no way that this wasn’t used as a fucking ploy to push these two together. It’s obvious that Hades isn’t a great person at all, like genuinely fuck the whole “he’s not perfect but he’s trying :(“ thing he’s just irredeemably bad, and by the looks of it he would never be a good husband or partner for Persephone so Rachel had to do something to cover that up and like everything with Hades it was ultimately the bare minimum.

It’s just so fucked up to me. You can’t even deny it either because there are dozens of stories (romance) where the main character has something absolutely traumatic done to them and the love interest just so happens to be there to “fix” them or “save” in this case. It’s very popular and I’m not saying that it’s always all bad, the way that you execute the trauma and the way that your characters interact with it are what makes it either really bad or really good. With Lore Olympus though, it had to be the worst case of this honestly because not only did you rush the healing process just so they could screw each other smoothly but you also made a complete mockery of it. I’m sure there’s a bunch of people who relate to Persephone’s story and I don’t want to knock them nor am I criticizing them and I understand that not all survivors are going to react the same, there’s millions of people on this Earth and since we’re not clones of each other we’re always going to share major differences, but this is just so incredibly bad. You have Persephone literally resting in the bed that she got assaulted in with a man, you have this man touching her and invading her personal space multiple times without asking days after this happened, and you have a man that you need to comfort while you tell him your own trauma. You see how none of this makes sense? I know not all survivors react the same I know it and I feel bad for even pointing this out but at the same time you’re going to be affected by stuff like this.

This was days after it happened everyone, days. Not weeks, not months, not years, not decades, and not even centuries. Days after Persephone experienced a huge violation of her body in her own room and she does not worry or think about it once when she’s with Hades. This stuff does not just go away, trauma never goes away because what’s done is done sadly your brain and body has already been affected and you may not be able to revert back to the person you were before. Of course there’s ways to make your trauma less prominent and less of a problem for your everyday life whether it be medically assigned pills, therapy visits, and other supportive resources that specialize in things such as that but it’s never just going to disappear from your life entirely. It’s going to follow you like a dark cloud and it’s going to control your every move especially when it’s just happened, it’s a massive impact on a person no matter how big or small which is why stuff like this needs to be taken more seriously. So many people expect you to get over it and forget about it but you can’t because it’s not something that you can forget so easily, it’s draining and it’s consuming and sometimes it’s very isolating. Which is why I appreciated the therapist episode since it really does showcase just how daily it can be and how it just molds itself apart of your everyday life but sadly I know it’s very clearly just trying to appease readers’ concerns about Persephone’s trauma being forgotten which makes me have another problem to talk about.

How am I supposed to believe that Persephone was struggling with this stuff almost everyday when there’s nothing alluding to that fact. Persephone rarely has any symptoms or experiences the effects of trauma unless Hades can be involved somehow, her trauma is only important and valid when the story can use it for romance and I think that’s again, very fucked up. You don’t see Hades’ trauma only being brought up so Persephone can fix them, he just says them and we can see how even though it’s been centuries he’s still dealing with the long term affects but you don’t see the story using it as a ploy to get them together (mainly), no one’s using Hades being swallowed up by his own father as a kid as some cute moment for Persephone to take him to dinner or something this treatment only happens to Persephone. If her trauma can’t be cute in some way then it’s not going to be shown and it’s again, very insulting.

Anyways, I will end this rant here yet I will never not be upset at the fact that Rachel only made Persephone “heal” just so she could give us the most unnatural intimate scenes ever. Endgame for them was just having sex and I think it’s so incredibly mind boggling that we’re supposed to look at this in a romantic sense, nothing about this is romantic and it’s very obvious that this was just used as “drama” which should’ve never been the case in the first place.

[nekropsii]

…I swear to God, why have like half the Beforan players tried to bone someone significantly younger than them??? Probably because the author’s a creep who got a kick out of it, but still, between what was just discussed with Rufioh, Aranea trying to hit on Jake, Cronus trying to bone his dancestor (jesus fuck) and Meenah dating a physically 13-year-old Vriska… that’s a THIRD of the dancestors? And those are just the four I’m aware of, I would be very disappointed but not at all surprised if there was a fifth.

Honestly, adults having inappropriate relationships with children is just a heavily recurring theme in Homestuck... It's not really all that surprising when you take a step back. Doc Scratch, Hussie's own self insert, Bro Strider... They're all much older than the Alpha Trolls are, and are creepy towards the Betas in some way.

Further discussion going under the cut.

Content Warning: Discussion of Sexual Assault, Harassment, and Pedophilia.

... Man, I'm having to write about this topic a lot lately, aren't I? This isn't even close to the only ask left in my inbox about something adjacent to this. It's kind of... Flattering, in the weirdest way possible? I don't know, I'm often approached for my opinions on some of the much more serious and dark aspects of Homestuck. Things that people don't really know, or talk about, or address- like the racism issues, Dave's CSA, et cetera. It's not really prestigious, I don't think, but it does require a level of trust in maturity and literacy. I appreciate it.

Anyways, this is mostly going to be me adding to and even debunking your ask here. I think this subject both deserves and requires specificity. It's an extremely emotionally charged topic, so peoples imaginations tend to get a little... Carried away, when they don't know the full extent to what's happening. Considering how it's not easy to term search things said by most of the Alpha Trolls, and some people really just do not want to/cannot interact with things relating to Child Harm and Abuse... There's bound to be both a lack of information and an excess of misinformation. It's understandable, but... Deeply annoying for me in particular. Lol.

Let's do this.

---

The inclusion of Rufioh in this is both correct and based on some of my own posting on the matter. Rufioh was hitting on Aradiabot, who is 13, because she reminded him of Damara... Specifically remarking upon how she's "just like the real thing". Charming...

Here's where I'm going to supply a debunk: Aranea did not try to hit on Jake, and he is not significantly younger than her. That's a pretty ugly misconception. She's 19, and he is 16. She had zero romantic or sexual feelings towards Jake. Yes, she tried to kiss him once... Because she knew that he was attracted to her and assumed he'd appreciate her making a move on him. This was part of her little scheme to make him Hope-splode. She never did actually kiss him, and there was genuinely no consent violations involved in the situation- he told her to stop before she could, and she did. It was just a misunderstanding. It happens. If you're still put off by that age gap, that's fair and entirely respectable, but that's not "significantly younger", and the situation wasn't really objectively creepy.

... Cronus is... Fucking gross. His whole gimmick is that he is "The Worst Character in Homestuck", and boy does he succeed at it. He won that title. Earned it. Absolutely flying colors. He tried to "get with" Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan. By which I mean he stalked Karkat all the way to his house and then tried to break into it, got really handsy with Tavros in the middle of a crowd, and... Sexually assaulted Eridan- his own flesh and blood!- also in the middle of a crowd. All of these kids are 13 years old, and his main character trait is "Sexual Assault + Harassment". No one's free. Not even literal children! Cronus counts as a full-blown Pedophile, by the way!! There's your fun fact for the day.

Then there's Meenah, who had her whole thing with (Vriska), who was 13. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She was just 13. That was a whole arc, so it doesn't really need much elaborating upon, I hope.

---

That's... Just about it, I think? That's all I remember, anyway, as far as the Alpha Troll Age Gap Weirdness goes. So... Only 3 of them are really problems in that respect, which is 1/4th of the cast. Still an upsetting amount, but not... As bad as 1/3rd, as far as optics goes.

In full honesty, it's kind of funny to me how the Alpha Trolls who have overtly sexual theming are... Pretty normal about kids. Damara's nice to them and nobody else, we've got zero reason to suspect Mituna of anything, and Porrim's just chilling. It's accurate, if anything.

Hopefully this has been fun and/or informative. Have a lovely day.

[yurigalactica]

hi hello!! whats your favorite los camp! album?? all of my mutuals have had different answers haha

AAAAHHHH HIIIIIII NEW MUTUAL :D

truthfully, i don’t think it’s been just one—it rotates between them a lot. when i first got into them it was no blues, then it was romance is boring, then we are beautiful we are doomed, then sick scenes—you get the picture. i find it hard to compare them when they’re all so distinct from one another. i love hold on now youngster for its immaculate scream-in-the-car-after-a-shitty-shift ability, i love we are beautiful we are doomed for its metaphors about love and death (“i cannot emphasize enough that my body is a badly designed poorly put together vessel” and “i don’t want to sound trite but you were perfect, the way you could seriously make nature look dysmorphic” are two of the most notable ones to me), i love romance is boring’s unique sound but absolutely undeniable BANGERS (genuinely i think that album has so many bangers oh my god, it was a bit of an acquired taste for me at first but DAMN if in media res doesn’t change my brain chemistry every time i hear it then i don’t know what does). hello sadness took a while for me to get into, but i love how flowing it is, and while i’m more picky about the songs on it, this album is home to my favorite song on their entire discography—to tundra. my GOD i am so fucking obsessed with that song. literally cried the first time i heard it. no blues was the first album of theirs i listened to all the way through, so it holds a very special place in my heart—and i feel like i can relate to it because of how intricate and bursting with vocabulary it is. i gotta admit, i write fanfic and tend to get carried away with my prose a lot, so i feel very connected to that album because of it. and last but certainly not least, SICK SCENES!! i moved out to go to uni not too long ago and this album held my hand when i did it. hung empty CARRIED me through my first semester when i still had no fucking clue what i was doing. the entire album genuinely is so good, every single song on it is irreplaceable, and as of late, it’s my favorite vinyl to listen to.

if we’re talking my current favorite, however, i’ve gotta say that i’ve been rocking with no blues lately. give me long-winded metaphors about death and pretentious vocabulary!! WOOOOO!!

but yep, that’s my thoughts—i’m far too indecisive to pick just one album. i can’t wait for all hell to come out :D

[evansbby]

Hey, okay so I’ve rewatched Vanderpump rules by myself a couple times but I’m rewatching it with my mom and it’s kinda cool to see someone else’s perspective watching and their opinions without knowing what’s going to happen and that’s kinda how I feel with you right now LOL like I’m checking your blog ever day for VPR updates 🤭

Anyway, I like Ariana a lot now but I didn’t like her in the beginning. I’m not going to spoil anything but I will say that I don’t think Ariana personality type was made for reality tv unlike Stassi and I think that Ariana revels a lot about herself later on that might make certain things she done more understandable if that makes sense? I relate to Ariana in terms of being more introverted however I agree with you that she kind of let Sandoval go crazy to women and scream at them and just kind of turned a blind eye which is never okay but the blame for that behaviour should be more on Sandoval. I do think Ariana grows on more people as the series continues but your opinions on her in the earlier season are so valid and honestly, even if you never like her that’s okay too she not for everyone

I also am curious about your opinions on Lala?

-🫧

I knew from the get go that Ariana’s personality just isn’t made for reality tv like she’s literally just so blah. Which is why it’s annoying that she’s on my screen five seasons in and she will continue being there. And I’m not saying it’s her fault that she doesn’t contain her misogynistic boyfriend’s behaviour, my point is that she turned a blind eye to it which says A LOT about her. So i just don’t find it in me to sympathise with her. She just wants to be seen as the “cool, chill girlfriend” so she’s 1000% given him a pass for cheating with Miami Girl. So then why am I supposed to suddenly feel sorry for her when he cheats on her in the future with Raquel? Like I couldn’t give a single fuck lol.

Girls like Scheana and Ariana can never be trusted. Honestly I’d trust Lala over them two. So far, I think Lala really really admires Stassi and wants to be like her, but she just isn’t as clever or sharp. I think Lala in season 5 just wants to fit in and she lashes out and gets mean when she doesn’t fit in. As for the other two, I’ve seen girls like Scheana and Ariana in real life.

Scheana has such a deep rooted insecurity that she wants to be liked by everyone, so she does all that neutral bullshit. But you can tell she wants you to be best friends with the trio of Stassi, Katie and Kristen — she just doesn’t want the heat that comes with it. So she’d rather throw those three under the bus and watch them get crucified by everyone, and claim she’s neutral and “scared of them.” Which is such bullshit. Like in private she bitches with the trio about Lala and agrees with what they say, but when it’s time to answer to it, she lets the trio burn in flames all like “omg I was forced to agree with you” like shut the fuck up Scheana. And to think I felt sorry for her in the beginning of season 5, bc I genuinely thought the trio was being mean to her. But the trio are such fierce girl’s girls and it’s so clear the way Bravo edits stuff to make them out to be villains, you can’t even trust it. You could tell Scheana was getting the heroic edit and she just doesn’t deserve it. She’s fake and cannot hold down deep friendships with anyone, it’s all surface level friendships. And this stems from her own insecurity.

As for Ariana, I know her type too. She’s the type who thinks she’s better than all the other girls, and looks down on them for being “bitchy” and “emotional” but like… what she doesn’t realise is that when the going gets tough… all these men she claims are her besties will not be there for her. But the girls will. Instead of understanding the girls and not villainising them, Ariana very rudely just thinks she’s above them. And for someone who calls herself such a huge feminist, it’s sad to see her not only hating on strong, opinionated women on the show, but also turning a blind eye to her own misogynistic, sexist, woman-hating boyfriend. Who ends up cheating on her anyways about five years into the future lol. Ariana is a woman if she was written by a man — aka a woman who acts all “chill” and doesn’t call men out on their bullshit, isn’t “overly emotional” and always sides with the men’s opinions. That’s why she’s palatable to men and they want her around them. The loser men on this show just don’t want to be called out on their bullshit, which is why they gas up Ariana so much and try to discredit the trio so much.

And speaking of Sandoval, I hate him so much. He always sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong. I used to find him so cute in the early seasons but now it’s just painful and irritating to watch him go after Katie/Stassi/Kristen every single reunion. He has some deep-seated hatred for women that needs to be studied. Like genuinely he needs to be studied. He rides so hard for his boy Schwartz that all logic and reasoning goes out the window for him. I genuinely feel like he has some sort of feelings for Schwartz that he needs to navigate through. Also every time Sandoval cries it looks so fucking fake. Like I hate this man. I despise this man and nothing he could do is genuine. I feel like Ariana would blossom without him.

[merrycrisis-if]

allie hi omg i’m so late but i finally played the update and I LOVED IT SO MUCH like idek where to start because i played all the routes and they’re all so good. plus the 18+ scenes got me slutting out for real 😭😭

okok listen the added details in qiu’s first flashback literally drove me crazy like “you’re a hard person to catch alone” QIU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM IN LOVE WITH YOU 😭😭😭 and the new flashback!!!!!! like not to make it about me but it reminded me sm of the bday drabble you wrote me last year and let me tell you. a bitch (me) was giggling <3333 the bit where qiu wiped a bit of cheesecake off mc’s lips and mc teased them about making a move to kiss them was so fucking cute :((( and even taking them fishing and the dinner ugh just ALL OF IT!!! they really pulled all the romantic shit and even cut classes for mc and still couldn’t commit to a relationship smh

also nat…… when i say that steamy scene blindsided me and the way they did what they did underwater… i lost my damn mind over that flashback 😮‍💨😮‍💨 but omg that phone call idk what i was expecting but it wasn’t a breakup conversation. when nat said “i need someone who’s here” and “i don’t want scraps when i’ve had all of you” ……. yeah i’m fine 🥲 when mc was like “i wish nat would say smth hurtful so i could hate them” i was like yeah same because nat is so nice and supportive and so spouse material it’s literally impossible not to fall in love with them

but also shay…. god their scenes were fucking insane i was BLUSHING 😭😭😭 there was just no way for me to play different variations of their scenes and stay normal like the little motorcycle bit if you skip the show and they pick you up at dinner was so cute but also the way they make eye contact with you the whole time at their gig…. “tell me why you’re leaving and why it is that we’re kissing on borrowed time” yeah i’m mentally ill. and when they kiss your forehead and your closed eyelids and was like “stop being cute all the time” and the scene in their apartment…. yeah shay’s fucking insane but also very hot but also the biggest sweetheart. i will never be normal after all that

this is so rambly now but i really genuinely enjoyed the demo. i keep saying it but the characters are all lovable even mc’s chaotic and prying relatives which make merry crisis all the more relatable and realistic. i hold this if so close to my heart thank you for writing it 🩷

AHHH!!!! Nikka you have no idea how excited I was to see this in my inbox, and the smile on my face just kept growing and growing as I read this message. It's been a while! I hope 2023 has been kind to you!

I loved writing that update, and I hold Merry Crisis very dear to my heart as well—so it always just hits me in the feels when people like it too/relate to it, ya know!

The Qiu flashback was 1000% inspired by the drabble I wrote for you last year, and I'm so glad I got to use it and expand on it in the game!! I am soooo happy that you liked the scenes, especially because I consider you a Qiu-authority at this point! And on Qiu doing literally everything except commit to a relationship.... yes. Exactly. I think this is what MC also cannot. believe.

Ahh omg. Heh. The Nat spicy scene at the beach was definitely... quite something to write. I wanted the call to really hit hard, but also offer some opportunity for redemption/hope (I wonder if you managed to get the scenes where MC does get a 'maybe' from Nat!)

Yeah, this last update was definitely one for the Shay fans—I packed in as much as I could in there, and writing the music/performance scene was fun, but so were the... bedroom / pillow talk scenes... especially for same-sex Shay!

Anyway, this message made me so so happy, so thank you so much for sending it. (It also makes me happy to know that the side characters / MC's family are also welcome and not simply an annoyance.)

Sending you a million hugs and all of my love!!

[thesungod]

Do you have any Hera meta you would like to expand on , maybe in relation to what a relationship with Apollo would look like

anon… do u share my brand of insanity or are u just indulging me.

as far as Hera meta goes, my main point is that she’s not a villain in the true sense of the word: i think she’s tolerant of humans and the consideration she generally has for demigods is the consideration she’d have for ants. and honestly, she’s truly one of the few gods who’s entitled to feel that way, considering that she’s not responsible for siring them and would rather the others didn’t. obviously she has exceptions (demigods/humans she really likes and demigods/humans she really hates) and she’s wrong for taking revenge on Zeus’ mistresses but overall she’s just not that bad. ya feel me?

she’s also shown to feel genuine love for Jason which brings the count of people who have actually felt genuine love for Jason in canon up to three lmao (Piper-Leo-Hera). Nico exists in a grey area and you got to have some respect for that.

so anyways, she was actually pretty smart to swap Percy and Jason and she managed to keep it under the rug for longer than what would be expected. obviously it was wrong of her to use them as puppets for her strings but she’s not nearly alone in that. Apollo confirms in ToA that it is simply the way gods treat demigods. In my view, she sucks but she doesn’t Especially Sucks.

i also have endless sympathy for Hera having to tolerate her husband’s infidelity and (so clearly implied they might as well say it) abuse. she’s just. an unhappy woman, dare i say the unhappiest olympian god, and i think she has been so for so long that she has forgotten what anything else feels like. does she have friends? she certainly doesn’t have lovers, and while that may have initially been a commitment of love, it must have gotten pretty lonely over the years. she’s portrayed as icy and dignified and distant, the godliest of the gods, the one who most clearly represents the divide between mortals and immortals, and i ask myself how much of that is her real personality, and how much is the result of bitterness and isolation.

imagine: Hera regretting the fact that she’s made so many enemies once, when she felt untouchable and at her peak, because she’s just alone now, but what’s done is done so what can she do?

Hera never quite fitting in with other deities and really, who can blame them.

Hera having spent such a long time not even considering the idea of romantic love for herself and being so stunted that when she starts falling for Apollo, she doesn’t even notice. she simply cannot believe it. doesn’t even dare to think it.

she feels that feeling. the one where you a crush on someone after a really long time and you are all giddy and excited, not because you think it may be reciprocated, but because it’s new and thrilling to desire someone. she’s a high school girl wanting to be asked to prom.

now, let’s suppose it all happens because her and Apollo start sleeping together to spite Zeus as per my headcanon, and she inexplicably begins to want him for more than just revenge: she would would be so angry because she cares more, she’s far more into it, she’s utterly taken by him. at the end of the day, what they do is nothing particularly new for him (except for the “if he catches us i’m dead” part ig lmao) but it’s all brand new never heard before for her!! and her pride would be hurt!! but what are you gonna do about it!!

and now let’s suppose that at one point he starts caring back, and he treats her well and she hasn’t been treated well in centuries. so she gets carefree, and she gets reckless and she catches herself fixing her hair before the Olympian Council so that he sees her at her best!! imagine how humiliating that is for her!! she’s the Queen of Olympus she’s the Queen of the gods she’s the Ruler of the world and he’s literally just a guy!! she should hit him with her car!!

instead, she finds herself in his car, having been convinced to take a ride with the sun chariot for the first time ever while he’s babbling about… she doesn’t even know, talking horses trying to kill him? because that’s something that happened? apparently? and he has his stupid shades on and she feels like a high school girl actually getting asked to prom.

and for the unhappiest goddess of the Council, that’s a really magnificent feeling.

[superfluouskeys]

incoherent wednesday rant

god just NO thread in wednesday goes ANYWHERE and it’s so frustrating!!!!  like i know it was netflix’s latest lazy nonsense but my GOD lol

i was thinking this is one of those mediocre shows that would have been improved SO MUCH by having just a simple theme.  The one I was thinking would work so well with so little effort was something like “what makes a monster?” — and it almost felt like the show WANTED to go there but got caught up in its weird unearned plot twists or something?

it’s easy, and would tie so many weird threads together—gently imply that Wednesday is a monster for what she does in the beginning, even tho she’s just doing it to stick up for her brother, and then tie that into how she more and more gets caught up in her own version of events and certainty that she’s right, and actually let there be real consequences for her being wrong???  people get mad at her for using them to achieve her ends but then they stay mad for like???? a scene at most even tho wednesday doesn’t apologize or show any remorse, and it makes everything feel so unearned.

with the what makes a monster theme, the students of nevermore would be very understanding of wednesday at first bc they know what it is to be different/outcast, and gradually lose faith in wednesday as she uses them, until ultimately they recoil when she plans to torture what’s his face.  that would give that moment actual MEANING—up until that point, wednesday’s friends were like, we get it, she shows she cares in her own way, we do too, but no, this is a step too far, this is a monstrous act in our eyes.

Flip side of the coin with uhhhh plant lady?  thornhill!  the twist would be more satisfying if literally anyone cared about or trusted her or had any sort of opinion whatsoever—this could work in SO many ways; she seems genuinely kind but everyone mistrusts her, she seems genuinely kind and everyone trusts her except for wednesday, even wednesday comes to trust her, she seems overall nice but there’s just something kinda Off about her, possibilities virtually endless.  as it is the twist feels UNEARNED like everything else.

UGGGHHHHHHH AND WEEMS they almost went there with weems—she’s harsh, she’s calculating, she’s done some monstrous things, but ultimately she’s on the side of protecting the school and its students, a reveal we don’t even get to bask in for ONE GOT DAMN SECOND!!!!!!!!!  i’m so pissed her character was so underutilized lol as per usual writers accidentally made a character too cool for them and didn’t know what to do

god i cannot remember a single character’s NAME ENID okay, enid was done such a god DAMN disservice, she’s a fascinating character, she has great fodder for a personal story arc, there’s an easy tie-in to “what makes a monster” re: her getting her wolfy powers at exactly the right second (which btw, stupid—needed her to struggle more w feeling inadequate, going her own way, or preferably getting her wolfy powers at a very inconvenient time)

you know i do feel as usual a lot of this was ruined by heterosexuality lol, like they didn’t really do all that much w the love triangle and xavier feels extremely pointless, i don’t mind the twist with tyler except that i think it’s stupid he went all full serial killer at the end, i think i’d have preferred “unprocessed grief as an uncontrollable monster” metaphor but you know that’s just me.  and actually i think the show could have benefitted from playing with hinting that enid or even wednesday might actually be the monster.

also lol @ the worlds dumbest filler episode let me fix it for you—weems was in love w morticia and deeply resented gomez, weems witnessed morticia stab whatshisface and wanted to frame gomez for it, not realizing that gomez was perfectly happy to take the fall for morticia himself.  also this isn’t super related but i think it would have been neat if the reason weems and morticia fell out is bc weems once used her shapeshifting powers for nefarious reasons (nothing too bad, just trying to gently sabotage her relationship w gomez) and morticia caught her and was very hurt and betrayed.  what i’m trying to say is that episode bored me to death and justice for weems 2kforever.

okay this has been insane but my computer is in the shop so i’m unsupervised thanks for your time.

[burningthetree]

I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” “Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

[polarisjisung]

hello…… 😋

i’ve decided to somewhat reveal myself to you bc i fear (for you) that i will be writing a load more reactions (essays) about lotc ao i just wanted to let u know that it’s me 😋

i’m the anon who literally just wrote you that massive essay screaming crying throwing up about y/n being a BITCH and needing to stand tf up🗣️‼️, abt how the ningstinct✨ is the only thing i trust in this series, and who does NAWT 🙅‍♀️ trust jaemin whatsover atp. longstory short the one who signed that essay off as 😋🫶

and to add i was also the anon who sent in the ask on sep 7th actually like screaming asking will either jaemin or jeongseong open the door first whilst also asking if coach brought anyone back to his apartment 😭 (i am a fiend for the coach gossip like i was almost jumping for joy when i read that there will be some more coach goss coming soon 😍🙏)

and finally i was also the mysterious anon on sep 11th who was veryyy suspicious of whatever jaemin was (or still is 👀👀👀) scheming, who’s been TRUSTING 🤩 the 🤩ningstinct🤩 since day 1‼️ and abt ripping my hair out because i genuinely love this series sm and to keep it real w u i still actually am ripping my hair out one by one because the WAY you write has me like G R I P P E D like when i see that you’ve uploaded a new chapter you can trust that i am SAT ok like i am sat reading it and ripping my hair out because you are SUCH an amazing writer like i genuinely cannot put it into words how INCREDIBLE of a writer you are like ugh so so so good honestly if could give you an award i would but for now all i can offer is this 🥇🎖️🏅 but no seriously i am genuinely in love with lotc you’re doing a delectable job with it 🫶

ok i did not intend for this message to also become an essay but you’re writing is so good i just need you to feel the PASSION in these words like i need you to know that 😩 YOURE WRITING IS SO GOOD ‼️🗣️ ok but anyways in future messages i will just sign off as some variation of 😋🫶🗣️‼️🫦 these emojis because idk i cant help myself from using them i dont care if they’re cringe i’m a free woman and i will use my freedom of emojis as i will ok so bye 😋🫦🫶

ANON MY LOVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE ESSAY ASKS ‼️‼️🙏

the way I just scrolled back through to read every one of your asks and now I'm like huh I should've realised they sounded similar KEJWKSK

oooh I see is jaemin still scheming good question good question... answers are otw soon! also yes forever trust the ningstinct 🤞🤞🤞sign knows what up ‼️‼️

PLEASE LETS NOT BALD PREMATURELY MY LOVE LETS KEWP THE HAIR IN 🙏🙏 DO NOT LOSE THE LUSCIOUS LOCKS ❌️❌️❌️

ALSO THE MEDALS???? ANON DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES DO YOU KNOW THAT MY HEART IS WEAK I WILL GIVE YOU A KISS RN YOU ARE SO SO SO CUTE THE SWEETEST EVER I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH IM CRGINGDJ, looking forward to seeing you in my inbox my love 🫶

also the variation of inebitable use emojis is so funny but so relatable like fr 😭 anon your asks make me giggle 😭😭

[uncriticalbunny]

i’m sorry, this ask is obnoxiously long, but your pinned post about sydney’s relationships and particularly the part about lesbian syd truthers being ADAMANT that she’s a lesbian as opposed to bisexual because of the combo of jealousy (re: the fuckability of JAW) and denial (a girlboss like her surely couldn’t date a (WHITE) MAN?!?!?!?? what about #representation?!?!!) is sooooooo fucking real.

of course, i think to a degree it also reflects the general idea of bisexual women many people have regarding our relations to/with men - as though syd not being ‘gold star’ (yuck) sullies her in some way? or as though the usual idea of a ‘bisexual woman’ these people have in mind somehow couldn’t mesh with syd? - but still. it made me realise i’ve genuinely never seen an in-depth reason as to why syd is a lesbian that doesn’t hinge entirely on carmy (or even occasionally marcus, or ritchie, or whoever) as a character and the headcanoners reluctance to allow sydney to be involved with him for whatever reason, but i’ve never been able to put name to it til i read your post. and tbh, as a bisexual woman, i don’t even really care about syd being lesbian, bi, straight - it literally does not matter to me as long as she’s fulfilled. but i DO feel strongly about her ending up ‘alone’, regardless of whether they try to go the ‘but her job and her friendships fulfil her sooo much’ route. again, i didn’t realise why. it’s a very good post, thank you for explaining it so succinctly. it’s given me a lot to think about, especially post-VF article and right before S3 drops. i really feel like my third eye has been opened, especially since i have always wondered if i’m just putting too much stock into romance and ignoring that people can have fulfilling lives without it etc etc etc (mostly as a result of anti-ship sydney enjoyers). really, thank you, and sorry this is so long and muddled!

thank u anon, not muddled at all! you've hit the nail on the head. honestly people cannot be normal about bi women, whether in queer spaces or otherwise. it's interesting that people won't even consider a bi syd even though she could still have a girlfriend. that tiny possibility of her getting with carmy is too much for them to handle i suppose. above all, it sullies her like you said. i rarely see any bi headcanons when it comes to black female characters. i've mentioned before idgaf about people justifying their headcanons but again, like you said, the hc of her being a lesbian [mostly from white women and men] usually only comes up in relation to carmy. like there has to be absolutely zero chance for her getting with carmy. on one side, there are earnest people who genuinely want to see her as a lesbian because of representation or whatever [with no real thought of the #optics or how that execution would be like]. and on the other side, we have the racists and people who want her to be a lesbian simply bc they don't want her with carmy, whether bc they don't think she meets their standards for who gets to be involved with him romantically or bc they think she's better than him. i think these things are worth interrogating.

for me it's also about not wanting syd to end up alone. i don't trust the writers to make it satisfying for all the reasons i mentioned in that long ass post if they were to make her a lesbian and/or ace [or bi]. the ace headcanons are even more unserious to me. so many people would looooove to see her focus solely on the restaurant bc they think that's all she deserves or that the show has no room for romance, despite everything that happened in season 2 lmao. i don't think it's silly to want to see the romance at all. the anti-romance people are the silly ones.

[silverjirachi]

That’s not true? At all? That’s highly dependent on the teacher of course, and some ABSOLUTELY do this and I can only imagine it’s gotten worse, but as a professor that’s not at all why I assigned essays?

There were two main reasons why I would assign essays in class:

1) I teach in an artistic field where the material is not objective. I was genuinely interested in fielding their thoughts on the subject matter and encouraging them to form their own opinions. It was also to make sure they had actually looked at the material or engaged with it at all. (“While working on my monologue I discovered this and this and this.”). A lot of them were reflective or asking them to form their own opinions and relationships to what was being asked of them.

2) Related to #1, but taken further. Analysis & Interpretation. This is like reflection but it’s asking you to form your own opinions and then back them up. One class I taught was centered around learning to analyze and engage with art, even art you don’t understand or like at first, which is a really important skill to develop and can only be taught by doing. I literally cannot have them practice that skill in any way that is not having them write it down and hand it in to me, because asking them to analyze and interpret on the spot is not only not fair but not giving them the chance to go through all the steps and tools I provided them with to practice this skill. In class we went over things like how to look at color, shape, size, texture etc, they learned all these terms and skills and practiced how to put them together to get at why a certain piece of art made them think or feel a certain way. That’s not something you can just.. do?

Professors, good professors anyway, assign you essays because they want you to learn something. They want you to engage with critical thinking on the subject, and that extends to fields that are not as subjective as mine! Historians are constantly interpreting, analyzing, and speculating, scientists need to analyze and synthesize information to be able to form a hypothesis, take their research and build on it. You can’t do these things without writing them down- at least not in any meaningful way that will allow other people to use them, which is how knowledge in science and other fields is created. Creating knowledge and writing it down and having discussions with each other with analyzed opinions is literally why technology and our society progresses at all. And to do it well, you need to practice it as a skill.

I’m not saying the problem you’re talking about doesn’t exist. It does. Very much so and I’m sure it’s only gotten worse as both teachers and students get more and more jaded and burnt out. But essays aren’t just arbitrarily assigned to give you something to do, or “sort students into categories.” Good professors give feedback to tell their students why they didn’t get full marks and what they can do to improve. These are based on the skills demonstrated behind the words, not the words themselves.

What I’m saying and what I think is damaging about AI is that it’s not encouraging students to engage with the skills of analyzing and explaining themselves that are going to help make them successful in their careers. Someone who can communicate and back up their points well, even if it’s not the most eloquent thing you’ve ever heard, is going to be more respected in their career than people who can’t. And the good news about this is that it IS absolutely a skill that can be taught to ANYONE at any skill level or experience, but you as the student are actually the only person who can teach it to yourself by doing it. Professors can give you tips and pointers and strategies, but unless you actually work on being able to work through facts, data, and opinions, you are not going to develop this skill. That’s what students are robbing themselves of when they use AI. I don’t get mad at them because they’re “gaming the system” or something. I get really sad, because they are robbing themselves of the opportunity to challenge themselves and grow. Which is how you get the most of the hundreds of thousands of dollars we are forced to throw into school. Going into that much debt to cultivate absolutely no skills is a complete waste and a disservice to no one but yourself. Essays are practice.

I get that students have an incredibly burdensome workload. I don’t blame you if you choose to use AI because you are just too burnt out and swamped, especially if it’s one of those classes not as relevant to your major as others, and if your professor is particularly shit. But I am on my hands and knees begging you to at least consider what you are robbing yourself of every time you use AI, and to use it responsibly. At least actively pick when you’re doing it, and ask yourself if you can afford to skip out on this round of practice or maybe you need to work on that skill to understand the material more, or get better at explaining yourself.

Also if it was just about eloquence.. AI would not help you? AI has the most dogshit basic way of describing and explaining stuff I have ever seen. If it was purely eloquence AI essays would be getting C’s and D’s nonstop. Which is again gonna be a huge disservice to you and the GPA you so desperately need to maintain.

I’m not saying there isn’t a problem. There is. But if you never engage with material in your field, and I’d say even materials that arent in your field, because it’s good to understand things outside of your immediate sphere, the only one you’re hurting is yourself.