#These are my current thoughts at least
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What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?
And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?
This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.
My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.
Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.
And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.
And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.
I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.
As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.
Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.
So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.
Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.
#Big thoughts#Big rambles#These are my current thoughts at least#They will likely change#As all things do
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I love the Leverage episodes where they're truly just psychologically tormenting a guy.
Like obviously they first establish that the guy is a terrible guy who does terrible guy things. And we really do need the terrible guy to be doing a lot of terrible guy things because this is kinda an ethical nightmare, but don't worry, they are reliably doing a lot of terrible guy things.
But then it is just like "hey, let's convince this guy that he's made first contact with aliens and also that aliens are trying to kill him" or "hey, let's make this guy believe he's contracted a deadly disease and is going to die in quarantine because medical staff are abandoning him" or "hey, let's first try to persuade this journalist that the government is secretly creating Guantanamo Bay 2: Underground Boogaloo in your backyards and when she doesn't run with that story, let's then make her think that oops the government accidentally leaked some kind of bioweapon into the waterways and now water is gonna kill you instead."
#leverage#kai rambles#the three days of the hunter job#the order 23 job#the first contact job#nate ford#sophie devereaux#eliot spencer#alec hardison#parker#parker leverage#i just finished watching the first contact job#and the guy is an awful guy who did a very similar thing to the guy theyre helping#but wow that guy did spend an entire night hiding under his desk terrified aliens were gonna kill him#also just thought that even though this show is quite old at least one of my mutuals is currently watching to so#leverage spoilers
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I believe Bobby is coming back from the dead because I think we deserve to live in a world where Kenneth Choi gets to act his ass off by playing a simultaneously relieved/joyous and angry/furious Chimney, who feels like he has to thank Bobby, but also scream at him until his throat is sore because it wasn't fair to make that decision! he's going to say they should have played rock, paper, scissors and Bobby will chuckle because he thinks he's joking like silly haha Chimney, but Chimney is like "no, we should have discussed it, you died and I didn't even get to say thank you. you died and I owed you a debt I didn't even know about. you let me carry that" and he has to wrestle with the guilt of knowing that Bobby would do that for him, not just theoretically, but actual concrete proof that Bobby would die to save him. which they all know on some surface level that they'd die for one another, but it feels like such a far-off concept until it isn't. but Chimney also has to deal with the gratitude because Chimney is also so incredibly thankful that he didn't die. every step of the way he wanted Ravi, Bobby, Buck, and Athena to commit crimes, because he loves his life and he wants to keep living it. he's so overjoyed that he got to go home to his wife and kid, and that comes with its own guilt because how can he be so happy to be home when Bobby DIED. does that make him a monster? that on some level he's HAPPY that Bobby did that? and now he has to FACE Bobby. so he tries to be the Before Chimney who gets people whimsical gifts, but how do you give someone balloons about choosing your life over theirs? and he spirals because he's different now and Bobby is here and he has so so much he wants to say but all of it feels contradictory and unfair and he would normally go to Bobby for advice. so he does. he goes to Bobby and he says "what would you do, if you were in my position?" and Bobby just says "whatever you need to say or feel, I understand" and that just makes Chimney even more upset because what he needs is for none of this to have ever happened. its like they all got a re-do, but kept the memories and the feelings and now he has nowhere appropriate to put them. anyway, Bobby lives and we get Chimney angst yay <3 forever and ever.
#911 spoilers#911#bobby nash#Chimney Han#Because I think realistically Hen and Eddie will have the LEAST complicated emotions about a return#They'll just be like RELIEF JOY DISBELIEF CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH#Although I'm sure OFFSCREEN Eddie will have to explain to Chris like:#This is not a doppelganger this time this IS Bobby I know I'm sorry our lives are like this#Buck will be like “NO. I was SOOOO good I was THERE for THEM like you asked” and fully crash out from being so so so Buck Brave#and then no longer having The Task to focus on he's going to lose his damn mind being like I THOUGHT BOBBY WAS DEAD#Hen will just be like thank FUCK you are NOT allowed to die ever again#and then in my head Athena is like “okay bet. retire.”#you made us watch that shitty ass helicopter chase we are owed Kenny Choi getting real meaty scenes as penance#although imagine how fun it would be if like Bobby DOESN'T retire#he comes back after a bit and the team is like....so wary around him#They listen because he's their captain but they're also like is he saying this to get us away from him because he's hiding a mortal wound??#and Bobby is like “guys trust me” and they're like “oh yeah no for sure but also are you currently dying?”#and then the 118 goes to group therapy together#sorry I have the day off and this got away from me#the show that exists in my head and in my head only#I call this: some things are easier to say to a headstone
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Team loserboy
#been feeling REALLY manic about gravity falls and by extension#this crossover#I've been quiet on here but my mind is constantly on FUCKING FIRE WITH THOUGHTS ABOUT SO SO SO MUCH#I feel like I'm gonna explode#i was just cleaning my desktop and I was like i may as well throw this on here#i'm currently cleaning these up and making character sheets for them#... dont tell anyone >:)#gravity falls#dipper pines#invader zim#dib membrane#billy gaobam#grim adventures of billy and mandy#billy is definitely the least loserboy here#but I've been mostly doing comms#that comes first
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It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)
Yeesh, this took forever. <:)
There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D
(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)
anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao
Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:
I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL
Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:
The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.
They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:
In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:
Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)
Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:
And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D
what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)
And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:
It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.
Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD
Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.
Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…
Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D
They’re also 100% a sub, obviously
Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic
The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO
Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:
Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:
Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)
Last but not least, have these shittens:
~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.
The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ
Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES
First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.
I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.
All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).
(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)
Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔
Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.
He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)
I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.
So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.
Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…
Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)
They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.
(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)
But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.
He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.
Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.
The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c
And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯
oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it
Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shitten#cotl mystic seller#cotl aym#cotl baal#aym and baal#this is why i have been especially quiet lately XD#even just the bonus stuff took several days to finish because i don't know the meaning of DOODLE anymore apparently#everything must be fully inked and colored with backgrounds I Fukken Guess#at least using medibang's sumi brush keeps me from focusing on making my lines perfect :\#and yeah i copy-pasta'd a lot of my own backgrounds don't at me bro#if you're on desktop and want to full view but don't know how: right click the image - open in new tab - zoom in as needed :)#feel free to ask questions about the AU if you want - but uh - this is basically the extent to which i've thought it through LOL#edit: oh right - aym and baal really out there assuming narinder already put the lamb's soul to rest so the body's just fodder now lmao#last edit i hope: fixed the transparent cult certified freak image 8|#nope - one more edit: there is one (1) loophole for how living mortals can be in the afterlife without dying#that loophole is currently narinder XD#'sorry universe but the god of death says i can be in here so back off with your rules and regulations'
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She deserves the universe…
#I’m not done watching the anime yet#so I don’t have too many thoughts about Uraraka#Will say though#she has a lot of potential that#from the point of the anime that I’m at currently#hasn’t been all that touched upon#like her motivations to get stronger lined up so well with the main line of characters#she could’ve joined in with the boys to fight for number one spot#because what if the higher rank you were as a Hero the more you were paid#and Uraraka saw being number one as something she had to strive for due to her living situation#I’m digressing a bit though#am certain some fans have already made the ultra buff Uraraka joke#but it’s what she deserves!#she worked too hard not to at least have some definition to her#especially since it was Bakugou who inspired her to get stronger#I think she’d want to aim for a build similar to his#whether consciously or not#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#uraraka ochako#ochako uraraka#uravity#midoriya izuku#iida tenya#mina ashido#my art#cookie’s art#fanart
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imagine this family trying to take a picture for a christmas card, or any type of family picture for that matter
bloody hell I was waiting for something like this
(ik im late as, but people never put the decorations away right after the 25th...)
(and yes the last two parts of the Alien Cody arc is still happening)
#noco family au#total drama#total drama noah#total drama cody#total drama noco#total drama raj#total drama dave#total drama mike#total drama svetlana#total drama Owen#thanks for the ask!#I wanted to get this done at least on the 26th but I was simply too Out Of It#time is an illusion#currently contemplating events of my life that have led me to creating this au#I mean really when else was I gonna do a Christmas thing might as well go at it if its still December eh?#4am thoughts
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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Consider: character-exclusive trinkets.
#dandy's world#vee#vee version 1#vee dandys world#vee dw#dandys world vee#dw vee#glisten dandys world#glisten dw#dandys world glisten#dw glisten#glisten the mirror#so basically‚‚‚ vee gains the reflection ability but for machines and it works alongside camera hijack#glisten gets mic check but for toons and it works with reflection <3#and if you're curious about lore stuff for the trinkets. related to stuff i'm writing with a very dear friend of mine...#vee made the tracker as a gift for glisten after a. Particular Incident™ occurred#which eventually led to her learning the depths of his insecurities and issues. at least to *some* extent anyway#originally the tracker only tracked vee's location. just. so he could feel more comfortable.#know that he's never alone even if he can't actively sense anyone nearby with his abilities.#and so that if he ever needs vee for *anything* then he'll know exactly where to find her#but! it's got utility for vee in runs too! means she's always got someone to watch her back who can see when she's in danger and help out#but anyway. the fact that glisten could use the tracker to teleport longer distances was actually unexpected for vee!#and once she found that out she upgraded the tracker to show *all* the toons' locations#but only in runs and on the current floor because it relies on the machines to broadcast a signal. whereas vee can be tracked anywhere#the hand mirror was admittedly more of a 'hey it'd be cool to give vee a matching trinket. let my girl teleport to machines' thing gfhdhdf#but. while my friend and i haven't fully confirmed it? i've had thoughts of it being like. a 'thanks for putting up with me' gift#that glisten gave to vee sometime after the aforementioned Incident. because that mirror has Issues#and struggles to fathom that anyone would still want to be around him after learning that he's. broken. imperfect. even his best friend </3#the hand mirror has glisten's sweater skin's colour palette because i wanted to differentiate it from the vanity mirror#but also. it's silver. second place. it's enchanted with glisten's magic but it still doesn't measure up to the real deal (gold) <3
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Careful, he has rabies 🥰
#i currently cannot put into words my thoughts on akechi’s character#finished royal a couple days ago and this bastard has been taking over my thoughts completely#i genuinely did not realize how much he’d stuck with me until the end when i was like “holy shit. holy shit i kinda love him???”#had to at least get a quick drawing out there so i have SOMETHING to satiate my mind for the time being#my god my psych major ass is flipping my shit over-analyzing the hell out of him#my little bug under a microscope 🔬🐜#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#persona 5 akechi#persona akechi#persona 5 fanart#p5 fanart#akechi fanart#goro akechi fanart#fanart#fanart digital#digital art#art#drawing#my art
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good morning, today i am thinking about dragon god shen yuan, tea, and rituals, so have a few scattered thoughts on the theme:
every cang qiong peak lord has at least one tea pet fashioned after the sect’s god. for the ones who consider themselves tea connoisseurs (shen qingqiu, qi qingqi, and the presently unnamed lords of the agricultural and engineering peaks), the dragon god tea pet only comes out for ceremonial/ritualistic use, though for those who rarely have gongfu cha, the dragon god is likely the only tea pet they have. when new disciples are admitted, the dragon god tea pet is part of the tea ceremony. pouring tea over it is treated as an offering to him.
cang qiong has a few sect-wide festivals annually. one is a multi-day festival honoring ascended peak lords, with one full day dedicated to the founding lords. there is a temple on the dragon god’s mountain, and during the peak lord festival, the current peak lords bring a small delegation (usually their head or most senior disciple, the eldest member of their peak, and two or three of the innermost inner disciples) to light incense and pray. this ceremony opens and closes with the zui xuan peak lord brewing a large pot of tea, and each member of the group offering the dragon god a cup (by pouring it over him). it’s treated as an invitation for luck and an expression of gratitude for protection from evil.
shen yuan didn’t drink much tea in his first life. he knew how to prepare and serve it properly, mostly for the sake of entertaining his mother’s friends and his father and brothers’ business associates, but he really didn’t drink much on his own
dragon god shen yuan always smells vaguely of the tea that cang qiong’s agricultural peak is famous for—tian gong jasmine tea. it’s near impossible to purchase and rare outsiders have had the occasion to try it. the leaders of the great sects have each tried it, and when lbh becomes ruler of the demon realm, the peace treaty between his empire and cang qiong is finalized over a pot shared between himself and yue qingyuan. it is also, coincidentally, both the tea offered most frequently to shen yuan and his favorite to drink.
because of all the tea offerings while he was hibernating in dragon mode, when the system finally allows shen yuan to wake up properly and attend to his sect, he’s developed a really strong taste for tea. he can distinguish stages of fermentation within two or three days just by taste, and for tea that was grown in the tian gong range he can describe things like the tea’s growing conditions, including weather, soil quality, and spiritual strength of the cultivators who tended to/processed the trees and leaves. shen yuan finds this extremely odd knowledge to just Have
the second-best pot of tea shen yuan has had in 700 years is the one that luo binghe prepares for him when he takes binghe as his personal disciple. the best pot of tea is the one luo binghe prepares for him on their wedding day.
#i have a lot of thoughts about festivals in dragon god au#festivals and rituals#i feel like the sect must have rituals for worshipping peak lords who ascended to godhood right???#at the very least the founding 12 and the shizuns of this current generation#binghe gets REALLY into ceremonies for the dragon god after he becomes sy’s personal disciple#i feel like zui xian would insist on taking him for a few weeks to teach him some of their ceremonial/ritualistic practices#they’ve got Methods and things for appropriately worshipping and entreating their sect’s god#and it becomes extremely important to them that lbh doesn’t accidentally insult sy due to ignorance of their Rules ™#i feel like they imagine their dragon god to be very severe and impressive and imposing and maybe a little fickle/easily offended#meanwhile sy’s like ‘omg it’s luo binghe he’s so cute!!! i hope he doesn’t burn my mountains and kill my cultivators bc id have to kill him’#dragon god au#dragon god shen yuan#dragon god shen yuan au#svsss dragon god au#svsss#svsss au#svsss fanfic#svsss headcanon
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okay 2 questions....
do you think its more likely that illumi kills hisoka or hisoka kills illumi and how do you think it will go down?
what would you WANT to happen with one of their actual deaths?
You're not really going to like my answer here because it completely negates both questions.
I don't think either of them will die or kill each other.
I think it's natural to think so considering the current setting of the arc and what was revealed and their characters, but how I see it, their relationship has proven to be very nonsituational. As in, they aren't really hanging out and helping each other just because they happen to need each other here and there. They hang out and help each other because they unironically see each other as friends.
Illumi had no reason to help Hisoka out in the hunter exam, yet he did anyways. And they stayed together most of the time. Illumi had no reason to help Hisoka out during the yorknew dilemma, yet he did anyways. It's not even in his area of work to just disguise as people for a few hours before leaving. He's an assassin. Hisoka didn't have to help Illumi out during the election arc, Illumi was more than capable of finishing this entire mission alone. And yet he did anyways.
Goes without saying that Hisoka constantly calls Illumi his friend behind his back and also did so in front of him, and Illumi made no move to correct him.
So I can't really imagine, with all this said and done, that they'd actually have a reason to hunt and kill each other on the black whale. I understand the doubts with the stuff Illumi said in their marriage chapter but im still much more inclined to believe theyre working together against the troupe, as that would make much more sense. They've done nothing but work together against everyone in the entire anime and both Illumi and Kalluto worked against the troupe with Hisoka in yorknew after all.
I also feel like this is a general Hisoka misconception but-- Hisoka doesn't want to die. I feel like people think he hired Illumi to "hunt him down" because he wants Illumi to actually kill him and I have to disagree. Yes, it does speak volumes about what Hisoka thinks of Illumi, as in he truly is capable of killing him because theyre equals. But does Hisoka actually want Illumi to kill him right now? Negative.
Some people even say Hisoka has always wanted to go out in a huge fight or whatever-- I genuinely have no idea where tf they get that from lol. Hisoka brought himself back to life for a reason. He wants to live. He never planned on dying against Chrollo. He never ever plans on dying against people he fights. If Illumi and Hisoka were to ever truly fight, Hisoka would never let Illumi kill him without giving it his all. He WILL fight for his life.
And the same goes for Illumi. Illumi doesn't want to die and has no reason to want to actually die by Hisoka's hand. He has duties and responsibilities as a Zoldyck eldest and he's not going to throw it away in the name of... twisted love? lol
And I think lots of people find all of this hard to believe because theyre very used to villains getting bad endings or getting "what they deserve" in anime which is completely fair but let me, no, ALLOW ME to point you to one of my favorite villain groups in hxh that had a good ending despite being complete pieces of shit that would've deserved worse than death.
Genthru and the bomber team.
Genuine shitty people that scammed lied massacred people. They only cared about each other a lot but saw everyone else around them as lower than useless scum. They would've deserved to be left for dead. And yet, what happened? They were healed and they lived. They went on with their lives. Togashi could've very much made Gon just kill genthru to show how powerful he is and his sense of justice blablabla but that just isn't what the anime is about. Everyone in hxh is morally grey. At the end of the day Gon, Killua, and Bisky just wanted the cards from genthru and his friends and moved on.
A lot of people fail to realize this when it also comes to Hisoka and Illumi. They can just get a good ending like that. Do they deserve it? No. Does it matter whether they deserve it or not? Nope! This is hunter x hunter. And as far as I see it, its an anime about the power of platonic and romantic love. And Hisoillu are a specific type of love that is going to get a happy ending despite not even remotely deserving it. We got the meruem and komugi sad love ending. And we're getting the gay version of it except theyre unredeemable and horrible and they still get to be happy. Those are my thoughts.
Also in general I just genuinely cannot see Togashi continuing the anime without his favorite babygirl Hisoka being alive. Like even when he killed him off he revived him like 2 pages later in the same chapter he can't stand the idea of even letting his death marinate for a single chapter lmfaoooooooooo
#call me mr yapperoni because man do i love to yap#yeah sorry for not answering the actual question i just find the thought of them canonically engaging in a death fight ridiculous#at least in the current arc. they have no reason to. itd make no sense. if togashi gives a proper reason for them to then i wont complain#but until then. let them kiss#hxh#hunter x hunter#hisoka#hisoka morow#illumi#illumi zoldyck#hisoillu#hisoka x illumi#asks#my analysis#hxh analysis#hunter x hunter analysis
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Dostoevsky never mentioned it but I just know Ivan was chain smoking through that whole shitshow
#this post was absolutely not prompted by my own current karamazovian family situation#and by the fact I picked up smoking again because of it#if you're mentally ill in a family like that you have to abuse at least one substance once in a while or you won't make it out alive#trust me#he already has an implied alcohol problem so yeah#I know he has thought “oh god I need a cigarette” approximately every twenty minutes during the events of the book#the brothers karamazov#ivan karamazov#mine
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I am so interested in hearing more about the world building of your stillborn still-born au!
So what exactly is the burning mountain island and its ecosystem? And have you built out anything for the far frozen in return? Do the far frozen and molten lava island have relations or do they avoid each other? Are they friendly or enemies? Since the yetis of the far frozen are healer-warriors are the locals of the volcano also healer-warriors or are they something else? Does the volcano have an equivalent to Frostbite(maybe called heatstroke or something similar?) to help Danny with his powers and become his ally?
WHY I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
( @ishkagrante because they asked me the same thing)
The Molten Springs is a mega-island similar to the Far Frozen, but rather than being made up of extreme cold, it's made of extreme heat! The name "Molten Springs" is me playing with the words 'hot springs' and it stems from this fanart I saw a few years back of Vlad relaxing in a pool of lava and Danny being very judgy about it lmao. It's a large, mountainous-volcanic region made up of hundreds of mountains and volcanos. All the rivers, lakes, ponds, etc are made up of lava rather than water. It's extremely hot, as you would expect, and the further inland you go the hotter it gets as you come across more volcanic activity.
All greater rivers and lakes lead back to the center of the island, where Mt. Abzi (created from the word obsidian) stands, a massive active volcano that is thousands of feet tall and is constantly bubbling out lava and feeding it into the rivers. Two to sometimes three times a mortal year it fully erupts, shooting out a massive geyser beam of lava into the sky like a beacon, that lasts thirty minutes before cooling down for a few minutes or hours, before shooting up again. These cause what the locals call a "magma storm", which is basically the human equivalent of flood season because the lava that goes up must come down, and it rains down over the island. This can trigger other volcanoes into full eruption.
I've currently got two names for the greater rivers.
There's Ruzhu (created from the word Eruption), the river that leads over into the Ruzhi Canyon, a great canyon made of obsidian and igneous rock. It's a pretty popular tourist destination, if you get there when the firelight is low you can watch the light glitter and bounce off the walls.
Then there's Spicoria, a river that leads over into the mountain ranges, surrounded by sandbox trees made of petrified wood and smoking leaves. The rapids here grow the sindrillies! Rare purple flowers that resemble the lilies of the nile, they only grow in extremely hot areas. So you can only really find them underground or by the rocky areas of the river rapids. Most flowers come in the same color range as heat. So in oranges, reds, whites, yellows, and blues. The warmer the colors, the more common they are.
Locals live most commonly in caves, in the mountainy ranges where there's less volcano activity (its more convenient), in cold pockets (where the air there is significantly cooler *in comparison to the surrounding area), in the lava. Under-lava cities are very common here, there are entire cities built at the bottom of the lakes and leading into the underground tunnels. Buildings are made of the surrounding igneous rock and obsidian. Gemstones like opal, olivine, agate, amethyst, etc are found growing here since lava has a hand in their creation. They're a little different compared to mortal gemstones, since instead of water they're made of crystalizing ectoplasm. Although what those differences are, I haven't yet figured out.
Jewelry, tablets, sculpting, and oral storytelling are a popular form of artistry since paper really isn't,,, cohesive with extreme heat. Windows, if there are any, are made of volcanic glass and tend to be stained, with various designs on them that depend on the owner's preferences. Due to the lava rivers outside, it's not uncommon for ghosts to wear loose black garments when traveling around in order to avoid getting their inside clothes dirty. Think desert-wear!
I haven't though much about them being healer-warriors (and I'll admit it completely slipped my mind) but it's pretty common for ghosts to go to the lava hot springs, which are situated on the outskirts of the the island, in order to unwind. At least the ones who can withstand the heat when it's at its weakest. Some ghosts can go in deeper, but its really only the fire-core ghosts (like Danny and Vlad) that can actually handle the full heat of the molten springs without melting.
Rip to blob ghosts, Danny watched one melt like an ice cube in his hand once.
The residents of the Molten Springs are fire-core ghosts and other various heat-related mythological beasts. Cyclops, dragons, phoenixes, salamanders, etc etc. If they've got a heat or fire motif, they're there. The Yeti equivalents would have to be the Dragons, because that's who Sunburn is!
Sunburn is the Frostbite equivalent, and he's a massive dragon the size of a mountain, with black obsidian scales. Although he can shrink himself down to size. Danny's only two feet shorter than his eye, which is a lovely amethyst color, and it matches the color of his feathery mane! His mane itself is made of peacock feathers, with purple being the main color and the eyes being a startling electric blue. His fire opal horns are six-pointers, and from a distance blends in with the streams of lava running down the mountains. Despite his vibrant plumage and the jewelry he decorates himself with, he blends in with the surrounding igneous rock worryingly well.
He lives in a massive cave at a collapsed caldera volcano, Danny stumbled across him once on his first journey into the Molten Springs (<- has never watched the far frozen ep so i don't know what happened in it) and woke hm up on accident. Scared the shit out of Danny because he turned around and there was this giant purple eye staring at him.
but it's okay! Sunburn's like. a hippie. so he's really chill. Super chill actually. He's had thousands of years to just chill out. Which is a really good contrast for Danny who is the exact opposite of chill and is constantly on the verge of eruption himself. He helps Danny learn some emotional regulation and how to thermal regulate better.
Sunburn has, on numerous occasions, rumbled out a lazy "nap time" when he thinks Danny's getting too worked up, and then turned and pinned Danny beneath his muzzle. It doesn't hurt him, but it's like a big weighted blanket and it's also like a cat sleeping on you, so even if Dany could move, he wouldn't. He eventually falls asleep 9/10.
Sunburn will also just toss him into the lake outside the cave just. Whenever. What's gonna happen? Danny gets burned? Don't make him laugh. It usually gets Danny out of whatever mental spiral he's in and is just one of the few methods that makes him relax.
As for the Far Frozen! They're on the opposite ends of the ghost zone from each other and are on pretty neutral terms. Residents don't meet often due to their drastically opposite climates, but they can meet somewhere outside of the Molten Springs or Far Frozen, or, with the right equipment, meet in their respective islands. Sunburn and Frostbite are good friends, because I think it's funny if Sunburn has nicknamed Frostbite "Freezerburn".
Also Sunburn doesn't dislike just anyone, but he fucking hates Vlad.
#dpxdc au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born#stillborn? no still born au#danyal al ghul#danny phantom worldbuilding#dp the molten springs#starry's DP Lore#dp x dc crossover#stillborn danny au#vlad's vibes are rancid and sunburn hates him for it#i think i've gotten everything i've thought of currently for the molten springs#all in all my idea for it was for a place full of volcanica activity to be rather beautiful in its own destructive way rather than be#a desolate wasteland. so it's rather beautiful just. full of lava. the island brings heat to the rest of the zone#while the far frozen brings cold to the rest of the zone. thats my interpretation at least
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there is not enough femslash in batcest circles. the girls deserve to be just as weird about each other as the boys are. if BruDick gets to be weird father/son/brothers/lovers/friends/rivals/soulmates then it is only fair that Babs/Cass get to be mother/daughter/sisters/lovers too. Something about that deep intrinsic but undefinable love that is born out of trauma, especially if you consider Cass not knowing what healthy love looks like in the first place. i think it's fun and deserves just as much fandom content.
besides that, you can get even more niche with rarepairs like Helena/Steph. Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma is already a fantastic comic and even though it's their only real canon interaction it has so much potential. very comparable to TimJay in how Helena tries to get Steph to understand her morals and the corruption you could play with it.
batman: huntress/spoiler: blunt trauma (1998)
that comic also highlights on how both Steph and Helena are outcasts of the Batfamily and don't have the approval of Bruce to be doing what they do in "his city". I think there's so much Potential in Helena taking Steph under her wing because Bruce won't let her in and it becomes a weird codependent toxic sapphic mess. I think the protectiveness Helena feels over Steph from the get-go is so clear and the way she wants to look out for Steph, wants to make sure Steph understands the real world? I love them. Helena should be allowed to steal Steph, actually. I think it'd be fun.
there are a lot of other possibilities too like Babs/Steph or even getting weird with Helena Bertinelli/Helena Wayne and the existential question of "is it selfcest or not." But these two specifically live in my head rent-free, especially Helena/Steph and one day I'll convince everyone else to ship it too.
#batcest#necrotic festerings#how do i tag ships that are almost non-existent#helena bertinelli x stephanie brown#cassandra cain x barbara gordon#as resident huntress fan my answer to the is helena w/helena b selfcest depends entirely on which version of helena wayne you're using.#pre-crisis!helena wayne/pre-flashpoint!helena bertinelli? yes i agrue is selfcest adjacent at least#because helena bertinelli was meant to be an adaptation of helena wayne#if it's jsa (2022)!helena wayne then it's *not* selfcest because they co-exist in the same universe#and according to current lore helena wayne was named after bertinelli and took the name huntress in her honor#which is a *choice* for sure but that's a different post#i still think shipping them is super fun in a “don't meet your heroes” sort of way with helena wayne time travelling#and then potentially running into bertinelli and realizing she's not what wayne thought she was and it being weird toxic shit#as for new-52 helena wayne. i do not acknowledge her and will not comment.#*god* I hate new-52 huntress.#(imo it would be selfcest tho bc they tried to make helena wayne a bertinelli clone. so. there's that.)#i'm going to write a helena/steph fic some day and none of you bitches can stop me#yeah yeah we have stephcass but y'all have sanitized the fuck out of that to convince yourselves it's not batcest and that made it boring.#and helena/babs is neat and all but i prefer helena/zinda when it comes to BoP ships#i should've included panels for cass/babs but it's been a while since i read batgirl (2000) so none immediately came to mind#i have a *lot* more helena/steph thoughts but no braincell to word them. know i will talk about them again.#they got one whole comic and now i won't let them go#also cass/helena is fun for combating morals and the complicated batgirl mantle#cass wears the batgirl suit *helena* made y'all think i can't make that romantic bc i can and will#if we have robin pile then give me batgirl pile#babs/helena/steph/cass hell throw in bette too.
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here's something no one asked for, my ocs when they were a bit younger! :] (more like how they were in highschool lmfao) ((not aster tho sorry my king. u did not have a highschool.))
as always, close ups and more info under the cut!! OH and i put an updated relationship chart at the very end!! it's in writing this time because i thought that would be easier (it's long.) </3 i am so sorry in advance there's a lot under this HAHA

lune:
lune was a little shit, he's very rebellious now but he was even more rebellious when he was a teenager lmfao
he would CONSTANTLY get into fights, anyone that pissed him off he did not hesitate to attack
his relationship with his parents was already bad but it quickly deteriorated at this point in time
he was relatively popular in school but uh, everyone stayed away from him or tried to be on his good side because... well yk! didn't wanna get attacked..?
also people thought he was annoying but hey at least he was good looking!
he did not know he was popular btw. like at all, no idea, still doesn't know
his grades were like... okay, not great, but not bad, and he would skip class a lot... dumbass
his nails were constantly painted different colours bc cecilia would do them often, he was also never seen without a bracelet on his right wrist
huge troublemaker (some things never change!)
he hasn't really changed since then lmao

cecilia:
she was a bit more reserved back in highschool, still nice and friendly but she had a hard time approaching others because she was nervous (and others found her a bit intimidating cause she didn't smile much) ((and she's related to lune and that guy was known for being crazy))
her and lune were known as "those rich twins"
was constantly stressing over lune because of how much he got in trouble it's not like their parents would do anything about it.
kept her hair long and undyed! she liked doing different things with her hair and would try out diffy styles a lot of the time
she liked having long hair, and randomly cut it off impulsively lmfao (3 am on a school night, she couldn't sleep and was like ok why not)
good student, wasn't always at school but she was doing well
hated going to school, couldn't tell you why, just hated it
she was really awkward as a teen, but she was trying her best
always had bracelets on, if you saw her she had a bunch on her left hand, and then just one on her right.
always had her nails done (she did them herself ^^)
would always carry a few hair ties on her in case any one needed to tie their hair
one time she tried to be cool and approached a girl who didn't have a hair tie and just dropped it in her hands and walked away (she then walked out of class bc she felt embarrassed)
she tried out a lot of different clothing styles

nox:
so, he still had a shitty sleep schedule!
hard to find, he was always somewhere, no one knew where tho
good student, did not give two shits about school though
not very memorable? he was quiet and would leave as soon as he could
every time there was a group project he would ask the teacher to work alone
didn't have any friends.
his classmates were kinda scared of him lol
would braid his hair a lot
had blue on him at all times, there will ALWAYS be blue in his outfits, whether it’s the shirt, pants, or a hair tie, he always had SOMETHING blue on him (this applies now too)
no one really knew much about him, and he liked keeping it that way
fuckass edgelord (kinda)
he was always like 5 minutes late to his first class (there was a cat that would wander around in front of the school and... he couldn't resist)
he would go see that cat every day btw. before and after school, he would also go eat lunch outside so he could see the cat (and he always brought something for it too!)
loser

cassian:
very social! had a lot of friends and was very outgoing
always doodling in class
he was rather popular! and well i guess some people didn't like that
he was known as the rich kid but people were always giving him things because he was super sweet HAHA
a really bright and helpful guy
he was usually seen with a smile on his face
it's a shame how things turned out, hm?
he would bring his shoujo manga to class and just read that (he was always sitting at the back of the classroom bc he was tall so the teachers didn't really pay attention to what he was doing)
and in the rare chance his teachers saw him doing something other than classwork they would mostly let it slide, he's a good kid, so it's fine (favouritism.)
lowkey the typical popular shoujo manga male lead (wow! just like he wanted!)
really good student too, always on top of his stuff
he had these sword earrings that he really liked, he used to wear them a lot!
always wore darker and muted colours, and liked more comfortable clothing
no one said anything but they really missed him after he left, maybe if someone helped him, things would've been different

rowan:
was completely different when he was younger
always angry, or sad, no one really knew what he looked like when he smiled
no one knew what was going on with him
but he was quiet, and didn't talk to many people, he wasn't a mean or scary kid, but people were still intimidated by him
his hair was longer and uneven, it looked like he had cut random bits and pieces
he was smart but wasn't doing so well in school
it always looked like something was stressing him out
he would stay behind after school
tense and uneasy most of the time
hair super healthy tho LMFAO (his mom would oil his hair regularly!)
he was completely different around his mom though, his source of comfort
if anyone from highschool saw him now they'd think he was a completely different person (in terms of personality, since he looks... pretty much the same)
although, in the last few months of highschool, his demeanor had changed for the better, he didn't smile much still but he looked a lot more relaxed and calm

aster: (his stuff is different because he didn't have school in his world lmfao. but here's how he was as a teenager and some other info about him!)
his hair was reallyyyyyyy long when he was still in his world (you end up cutting his hair when he came here lmfao)
he was really lonely because he was the only elf in his world and he had no company whatsoever
he ended up collecting a lot of things because he would wander around a LOT
dora the explorer has nothing on him bro
he was (and is) very curious about things, he really likes to learn
he somehow learned how to braid his own hair, would spend a lot of time doing that when he was bored
he has a horrible sense of fashion, you took him shopping once and he picked out the worst fucking outfits in existence, you're basically his personal stylist cause what the hell
he likes when you dress him up though teehee
he originally saw you in a mirror he found when wandering in the forest
he became really really curious about you and accidentally yanked you to him
he was confused but really happy
blah blah blah you end up living together, we all know the story! (if you don't, you suggested he followed you because you felt bad for him cause he was PAINFULLY lonely)
you took it upon yourself to cut his hair because it was REALLY long when you first met him, he likes having his hair long though, mourned the loss of his two front strands (he will be growing them back.)
he didn't talk to you for a few days after you cut his hair for the first time, wasn't your fault... you accidentally cut off one of the front strands and had to cut the other off to make it even
fun fact about him, his eyes glow in the dark, it can be scary at times.
oh and his ears are expressive, dunno how that works but it does! and he also never goes a day without wearing earrings! he prefers the ones he came with but doesn't mind wearing whatever as long as he has earrings haha
now for the updated relationship chart! (this whole post has been about them from a few years ago but this is their current relationships with each other!)
ROWAN -> LUNE: he’s a weirdo but i’m glad we’re friends, i can handle his craziness more than most people… probably, i’d say he’s like a brother to me, but at the same time i’d probably lose my mind if he was my brother. no idea how cecilia does it
LUNE -> ROWAN: somehow he’s gotten used to me, he’s not so bad, i guess i’d call him a friend
ROWAN -> CECILIA: she’s like a little sister to me! cute! we’re good friends :] i met her through lune, they’re close! we’re like siblings the three of us
CECILIA -> ROWAN: reliable and nice! i wonder how he’s friends with lune. also. we’re the same age?? he’s real sweet tho, and he’s kind of like a big dog? haha
ROWAN -> NOX: who? :D
NOX -> ROWAN: i’ve seen him before (around the twins) he’s close to cecilia and that other guy who she's unfortunately related to
LUNE -> CECILIA: my little sister <3 we are best buddies, i’d do anything for her, she was there with me in our hardest moments, i wouldn’t let anyone hurt her, and she wouldn’t let anyone hurt me, one of the only people i’ll listen to lmao (she’s kinda scary when she’s mad at me but it’s also kinda funny?) i like bothering her but she might kill me one day though. she hides herself a lot, i don’t know why, it’s always been like this. i wonder if it’s because of me..?
CECILIA -> LUNE: dawg you’re like two minutes older than me (won’t deny the best buddies comment) he’s a really good brother though… but tough to deal with, he’s always causing some sort of trouble, but uh, well. anyway, we’re basically best friends… his words, not mine (she’s lying) he’s crazy but he’s not a bad person..? <- would defend him with her life. he’s an interesting fella that’s for sure, i’ve known him my whole life but there’s always something new with him lmfao. sometimes he comes into my room to knock something over and then he leaves, what an odd guy.
LUNE -> NOX: cocky asshole. so annoying. go to hell already. and stay away from my sister, i don't want you plaguing her with your presence.
NOX -> LUNE: fuck you insane bastard, go die.
CECILIA -> NOX: he’s pretty sweet (??????) we’re really great friends! i didn't think we would become such good friends tbh, he didn't seem to be the social type, and i'm not very social either haha... we're pretty similar i think! i can't remember who approached who first but that's fine. also, this guy has one of the worst damn sleep schedules known to man, i worry for that man. also, him and lune hate each other, no idea why.
NOX -> CECILIA: she's a close friend, i don't usually like making friends cause they end up thinking i'm weird, i don't really care about that but... i'll admit, it's nice to have a friend. she acts really differently in front of other people than she does with me, i don't think she's realized though? it's like having a cat open up to you haha, so i won't say anything. i hate her brother though, pretentious dickhead.
CASSIAN -> CECILIA: we were kids when i met her and her brother? she’s nice… and a lot like me… we still talk, she’s a good friend, thanks for keeping me company… and thanks for not asking me too many questions either
CECILIA -> CASSIAN: oh! cass is a childhood friend! we met at some event, he’s changed a lot since then, but i guess we’re more alike now? he doesn’t come out of his house much anymore, but we still text often. sometimes i see him online really late... bro... please get some sleep.... anyway, i never got to know what happened with him, and he doesn't like talking about it either, i won't pry though, because i understand.
CASSIAN -> LUNE: he’s scary, but i guess he’s not that bad..? i talk to him too, we’re not the closest, but he’s still a friend, i text him sometimes, he’s crazier than before, he was fun to hang out with when we were young, not that i don't like him anymore, he's definitely... special
LUNE -> CASSIAN: i don’t know what happened to him, but he doesn’t leave the house anymore, he’s not bad. he texts sometimes, i don’t know why because i think he’s scared of me, no idea why tho (???) i guess he’s a childhood friend? him, ceci, and i used to hang out before… well yeah, still don't know what went down
CASSIAN -> NOX: oh… i’ve never met him. cecilia’s told me about him before, lune’s mentioned him once, they have really different opinions about him
NOX -> CASSIAN: no clue, cecilia’s mentioned him before, i think he’s friends with her and… the other one.
CASSIAN -> ROWAN: another one of lune and cecilia’s friends i think? they sure are popular. (even lune???) i dont know anything about him though
ROWAN -> CASSIAN: no idea who this guy is!
ASTER: ??? :’D
#num draws#aster posting#cassian posting#cecilia posting#lune posting#nox posting#rowan posting#yanderes#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere male#still not tagging female yandere bc im still unsure. loser. (me i mean)#oc art#digital art#yandere#original character#good lord i fucking yapped for forever.#also i feel like i said a lot of confusing shit so apologies lmfao#and im forgetting half of the stuff i wanted to write so i might add to this later </3#btw i thought the wording was confusing so im clarifying. with nox n ceci. i meant that cecilia doesn't realize that she's acting like her#real self with nox. but he's noticed cause he's just silly like that or whatever#the besties fr#i spent at least two hours trying to do all the writing for this post. not to mention that the drawings took 13 hours. i had fun tho lmfao#literally no one asked for this but me. and this is my blog so im gonna do as i please /lh /hj#wont lie i was drawing some of these and i liked these better than their current designs but that's probably bc i liked the way i drew it#...will admit i like aster's hair here more than i do normally so uh. yeah!#also rowan looks wonky as hell im sorry.#anyway if this was confusing and you have questions please feel free to ask i dont mind clearing things up </3#i know it's a lot of yapping im so so sorry </3
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