#('us all' being my friend groups lmao)
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"heartstopper is unrealistic they're all too nice to each other" have you ever heard of having friends
#this is all /lh no one's forcing anyone to like heartstopper#but this specific bit of discourse confuses me so much 😭😭#like their friend group is basically how i act with my close friends?? it's not 'unrealistic' lmao#ik not everyone's experiences are universal#but maybe we're all just too used to media where friends are constantly turning on each other and being shitty#just a lukewarm take idk#anyway i looove the show and am glad it exists but the curse of your favourite thing going mainstream is the goddamn discourse 😭😭#lova's terrible posts#heartstopper#hstv#heartstopper tv#heartstopper netflix
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"Did I ever tell you about my Omega casino run in with the Blue Suns, Eclipse, and the Blood Pack Vorcha mafia? Five thousand credits and a bottle of whiskey?"
Ft. Staff Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko, Operations Chief Ashley Williams, Zaeed Massani, & Seven. Dominik Shepard. Phoebus. MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1.5 "Are you Phoebus?" AKA: Pt. 1 of some of what happens between ME1 and ME2 with the Vorcha mafia storyline. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#dominik shepard#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#zaeed massani#mass effect#morecanonmasseffect#mass effect legendary edition#me#dailygaming#tw: gore#hi my name is mira and i like making very large gifsets of my blorbos :)#i made myself a little bit sad thinking of what the gang was getting up to when soph is dead during me1 and me2 but VORCHA MAFIA BABY#this is close enough to something i was working through in my noggin lmao#i think kaidan gets word from hackett that something went to shit out on omega with soph being out of the shade game#he ropes ash into it and zaeed takes leave from his n7 adjunct position on earth to come help too when he hears it’s vorcha mafia related :#as for sad times in my head i decided that zaeed is the one who goes to alchera and grabs all of soph’s guns when the normandy goes down :)#they’re all busted to shit so he takes all the time to fix them and remod them like she would have :) and he keeps her cobra :)#since she almost killed him with it when they first met :) he gives her widow to kaidan :) it’s the one he uses in the gifs :)#and he gives ash her valkyrie which is the one she picked up and started modding after he got dropped off at the villa to be with regis :)#i thought it would be fun if dom showed up to protect them after separating from cerbie but no one *knows* it’s dom :)#since he’s using an alias atp and he wants to protect them for soph since he’s starting to remember shit and that’s all he can do for her :#in my noggin he’s either wearing a mask or never takes his helmet off since they’re identical but i was not fucking with that in game lmao#i also think zaeed is the one who catches onto him and leads the rest of the group toward him with his contacts he still has on station :)#i think dom is tracking the vorcha mafia. part of me says everything just clicks into place right after he gives soph’s body to cerbie#and then everything rushes back at once for him and he heads to omega to start picking up where she left off before she was on the normandy#he honestly might be what hackett gives kaidan the heads up about. undecided. i’m still noodling :) but this was fun to conceptualize :)#i’m excited to pen this in the future! :) it needs more noodling :) for everyone honestly lol#my one final thought is that i do think kaidan picks up some of soph’s anger habits after she dies. i don’t think he does well at first#have a good day wherever you are friend as always!! 💙💙
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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baring my teeth at my friends when they send me nice, genuine messages about how much they care about me and replying in kind but wanting to bite something at the same time
#[static]#not in a cute aggression way but in a 'to be known is to be seen' way and im not used to wanting to be seen#always thinking about that quote about being a dog with a bite history LMAO#and my friends are all the white women with a savior complex that want to rehabilitate me hahahaha#shout out to overhearing my one friend saying 'im socializing him' when telling my other friend that i agreed to go do a thing -#- with a big group of people lmaooo#i love my friends i love my friends i love my friends#but i gotta wrestle with the resistance to accept that they do too and that I can tell them that I love them without fear of hurt#not hurt of them leaving or anything like that ... no ... the hurt of showing emotions and being punished for it. we love childhood trauma#anyways im over here grappling with two very big emotions while knuckling through and replying to my friends' nice messages this morning
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I need Americans that were never Christian™️ to realize that the average conservative cult christian's thoughts are basically that one episode of Spongebob where he gets elected Hall Monitor and gives a speech with "Crime and Punishment. Punishment and Crime"
#christians see themselves as the hall monitors of the earth essentially#and everyone needs to be punished and have their good noodle stars taken else they'll commit arson#they genuinely believe that as soon as you stop policing people they'll delve into their deepest darkest fantasies and start committing sins#that even Jesus Christ himself didn't think of#they come from the idea that they are the only group capable of keeping things steady until Sky Papa can make his way down and fuck shit up#So when you do something bad it's because you fell into the pull of destruction#But when they do it's the equivalent of stepping on your dog's foot because they almost tripped you#I still think it's funny a bunch of christians are creationist tho lmao skill issue#My grandparents are but my dad isn't#he believes evolution essentially occurred over the same time the earth was being created#and the story of adam being made from dust was a metaphor and literal#he was made from dust made from decomposing animals and plants which he used to create us as a more perfect being#so now we continue to evolve because we're connected to the dust and can continue to try to improve#so my dad believes in evolution and went to college for biology and chemistry at the biggest HBCU in the US#That evolution/creationist tangent was completely unrelated but all twitter is for me rn is ppl freaking out about our rights being taken#I avoid twitter most of the time but like to look at my friends' and fav artists' tweets#and recently I think little joel made a video about the evolution video that was trending so yea#n e ways have a nice day y'all <3#I've been wanting to make more hehe hahas but everything in my brain rn is Undergraduate Thesis level shit#so I haven't really been reading or writing things I can talk about on Tumblr.Com ya know?#most of it is sociological textbooks memoirs and similar stuff that Id feel talking about on my casual blog#maybe Ill make a blog. like Blog blog for my essays one day#ex christian#religious trauma
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conversations with my biology focused friends usually go something like
them: chemicalssss (/negative)
me: chemicalssss (/positive)
them: this just chemistry??
me: it's always just chemistry ☺️☺️
them: the fuck is a buffer
me: your body is buffered!! :D (that's why your bio prof is making you learn about them)
#it's either this or them being like 'A help what the actual fuck is a functional group'#i love being the chemistry friend#in a sea of biology and engineering students#i am what ties us all together#('us all' being my friend groups lmao)#stem major shenanigans#personal
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so yall telling me that i am wanted and lovable...
#like. i got invited to someone's birthday and i thought it was at the wrong place#so i went there and they weren't there and in a previous friend group they used to tell me to wait for them in a certain place#and they'd never arrive. and it would turn out that everyone else had gone and were having fun without me knowing i would just be waiting#for them. and so i was like. huh. guess that happened again#but turns out i was just in the wrong place and now i feel like shit#because i feel like it's all gonna be one massive trick and i feel like a dick for not being able to trust anyone#i'm so used to not asserting myself and not saying what i want because i've been taught i won't be lovable otherwise and now i don't know#when i'm lovable and when i'm not. what do you mean i can be lovable without having to do anything first? lmao ok then#and my friends are all so nice to me and i feel bad for being so suspicious because of past experiences#vent in tags#dee rambles#to delete#tw vent
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KEN KANEKI SUPPORTS LQBTQIA+ RIGHTS 🏳️🌈
#kaneki ken#my art#tokyo ghoul#lqbtq community#HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!!!#he only found out about the gay community yesterday ❤️❤️ and he has now killed several disrespectful people#eating the homophobes fr#also I wrote fruit loops instead of lgbtq bc my family doesn’t support the queer movement too much so#I feel like adding lgbtq to there would kinda push it if they were to find out#I also chose fruit loops because that’s what all the homophobic boys in my class started calling my friends when they decided#to start a rumour that I was dating someone in the group!#they be yelling at us in lunch breaks and in between classes lmao now their insult is being reclaimed on tumblr
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not so simp on main but
claude looking at me while trying to decide which part of my face to kiss but i suddenly go "you have pretty eyes" and he loses it. he cant do it. how dare i attack him like that. the king of almyra himself. meanwhile helios seeing him look away and take a step back like ??? "did you just see a spider or something????"
#lmao cutting the text just because sharing these embarrasses me#i would remind all the golden deer of how dear they are to me yet i would have the hardest time reading claude'a reaction to it#we are complex you neednt understand idc#maybe i should specify that we are unlabeled in my f/o list uhhhhh#helios and him would get to a point where they recognise each other's feelings but it's nothing 'typical' to call it like that so why would#they need to get into any kind of relationship because of that just bc 'people do that'#i dont believe so lmao they are just gonna continue vibing but acknowledging that part of themselves and that's it#that's kind of the thought process behind them being unlabeled#if you ask them they are just gonna say they're great friends!!!!#also because the golden deer family is very close to my heart so i believe all of us would prioritise each other as friends no matter what#other kind of bonds/feelings/relationships could develop within the group#idk it may be hard to explain but i love them and im putting the aspec spice on everyone idc idc#f/o community#self ship community#all i write is about you#self shipping#self ship#f/o#selfship#safeship#safeshipping
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Thank you for your tags on the baeddalism post. As someone who is aroace (formerly biace) and a nb transmasc I've literally watched every identity I have be dragged into discourse time and time again and it's always the exact same rhetoric to a nauseating degree. People are so terminally online that they constantly invent new nonexistent stereotypes of other queer identities to get mad at or just pick a queer identity to be the monster of the week, and it's excruciating to see it repeat the same way everytime.
I wanted to try to respond to this more eloquently after i had some caffeine, but if we wait for eloquence itll go unanswered for years. but lmao yea of course. Im also aroace and enby. I was here since like 2014, I suffered through reading all these same stupid arguments about a-specs and my tolerance for it is so fried. The queer infighting and gatekeeping bullshit is so rotting. I hope we learn one of these days. My disillusion that this keeps fucking happening is at least tempered by the fact that all the blogs who I followed for good takes on inclusionism and queer solidarity during the acecourse are also not tolerating this shit, and they are recognizing it as the same old bullshit its been the whole time.
#asks#tiredtief#i am so bad at actually Arguing w ppl so i try to avoid engaging directly as usual but i continue my tradition of#steaming in the fucking tags lmao#anyway hi. welcome. ill follow back. u seem nice#also i wish it was just terminally online brainrot but unfortunately i think this shit predates the internet#and this shit = ppl being stupid bitchy assholes to each other. i have an unfortunate feeling that it is merely an extension of the old.#call yourself a community organizer but youre not on speaking terms with your ex roommates thing. and its annoying ppl#applying like toxic friend group drama dynamics to a marginalized community cos they cant help but pick fucking fights i guess#my point is ppl have probably been being stupid toxic assholes about community since we started being people and having community#and it sucks and its always sucked but we made it this far. so hopefully we can keep going to go be stupid assholes to each other in the#future. i worry this is coming across as misanthropic. its only a little misanthropic. humans is humans. not good or bad but also i think#as social animals we are fundamentally fucking Annoying. i want to believe that we can like. get to a point where we stop arguing about#peoples identities like this. and maybe we will. but we will almost certainly be arguing about some other dumb shit. hopefully like some#low stakes fandom discourse or sports teams. discourse is brainrot but getting into meaningless arguments with fans of a different sports#team does fundamentally feel like a healthier expression of toxicity than starting queer separatist movements in the name#of protecting vulnerable ppl while not realizing that seperatism is just Isolating vulnerable ppl making them more susceptible to all the#harms you claim to want to prevent. dont ever fall for the reactionary exclusionist kool aid folks. even if they frame it as#reactionary seperatism. thats bad for you and your whole community youre cutting yourself off from and we cant be doing that shit#with fucking fascism impending everywhere and shit that targets and harms all of us up on the chopping block. goddddd#anyway. i need to go to the store.
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i want to travel alone sooo bad but i am also sooooooooooo scared
#ive always been with someone else or visited someone#i will never travel in a group again after the disaster last year im still not talking to that mf lmao#id love to make plans with some friends ik would tag along but i want to force myself to do this alone#i want to emigrate after all and im finishing uni in some years its time to get used to the reality of being alone in a foreign country lol#i dont even dare to visit nearby cities on my own!!!! praying for courage on the last days of ramadan lol#personal
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Seriously need to make more friends or go outside more (both things are easier said than done) bc I am a little bit tired of relying on content creation for attention and connection :(
#idk I think I just miss how accessible attention from friends was in high school and even last year in college#but now I’m an online student and I live in the middle of nowhere so it’s a lot harder to hang out with people irl#and idk I just finished all of my schoolwork for the day and thought ‘I’m really bored and want to talk to somebody etc’#and my first thought was ‘I should work on a new fic so people will comment on it’ 😭#which! I do love comments! but also I need to talk to people outside of AO3 comments yk? lmao 😭#I sort of miss the year-ish long era of COVID lockdown bc I was constantly on calls with like ten different friend groups#maybe it’s my self isolation or maybe adulthood is just like this? idk#I’m moving in with friends next semester so I think that will be good for me#I just wanna make online friends man :( but idk how to DO that except by making fandom content#and hoping somebody likes it enough to slowly incorporate me into their life LMAO#I wish calls/voice memos were the norm in online spaces I’m so much better at those#anyway this is very pathetic to post but whatever. I’m trying to get used to being vulnerable on this blog#not that I owe it to people online to be vulnerable. if anything I should NOT be vulnerable on the internet#it’s just that. I am not very vulnerable period. so it’s better for me to air it out into the online void than to bottle it up forever#ellyposting#vent#ish? just to be safe
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there's so many popular repetitive video games that seem so boring to play, but then I watch people stream them with a group of friends, and they make it seem so fun just because the people playing are so lively and goofy and funny. I want that. I want to be part of a group of streamers or at least group of friends that make receptive and otherwise boring games fun and hilarious. a group that's not boring, serious, competitive. one that cares more about having fun and laughing than completing the video game objective 😭
#like the currenr one lethal company#it doesnt look fun at all and looks like it would get boring fast. UNLESS you have hilarious friends to laugh with#which i lack. i dont have enough friends and most people i know and would play co op games are too serious and boring#people probably think the same of me. im generally quiet and confused when playing games and bad at them#usually people get mad at me for being bad or goofing around so its never fun. but the fun people never invite me#probably because they thjnk im the boring one. but i absorb energy like a sponge!!!!! be silly and funny and i will too!#i really need a group of people with great silly fun energy who i csn feed off of. i miss laughing. i need to laugh. i never laugh anymore😐#lee rambles#every time i tried playing with people i know I honestly got so bored. I feel bad because they're the only ones nice enough to play with me.#but they're too serious and not funny. so I haven't played with them in like a year at least and am afraid to ask lmao#why do the silly fun people avoid me and only the serious boring people would agree...i need an energy boost#i need a person to be my battery. where do i get a battery#want to play l4d2 again. its been a while. its so hard to fill the lobby and the couple people that used to play with me arent funny 😅#if i could get a group of silly funny weirdos together then id try lethal company. but i wont try with boring groups#there's so many games i bought to play with people and got ditched that could use a goofy group too. sighs.#why am i still rambling. i dont even have the energy to speak to multiple people at once and play a game#but maybe that's why i need a battery#anyway i kinda really miss doing silly goofy rp and regular gaming hasnt been able to replace the laughter that brought me 😭😭#i need a good laugh. cant remember last time i laughed until i cried. laughing makes me feel good for a bit sighs. someone make me laugh pls
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that also being said I'm trying to gather a group of friends to go to a haunted house together in october and it's very funny to see which friends are all in and which ones are not about it
#[static]#i dont like getting scared but i LOVE getting scared with a group of people lmao#my husband *hates* being chased so he's out and our other friend who's super into spooky stuff hates being scared *and* chased#our friend who is the most easily frightened and hates horror movies is eagerly going but only if we all hold hands#and the rest of us are just excited to hang out so it'll be a blast
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randomly saw your tags and you sound like you could use a hug, friend 🫂
awww thank you! i was being really dramatic, honestly. i literally had to go "what did i post that was so worrying???" and then an "ohhh bike got stolen"
really appreciate this tho :)))
#i was also just a bit too exited about the barbie movie avant premiere lmao#and i think we can still go#but i hate that i have to go like -oh are we still going with just the three of us then-#bc it is not THEE most logical now bc the whole plan was also to host a party after and now my cohost cant go so do i still do that??? i ca#but also if like 3/6 people cant come it feels rude to keep the plan going?#but also we could postpone it to...just go to the movie ig#but on the other hand there is only one avant premiere event?#but idk not going to the event also just feels rude to even consider towards the people who ARE available#bc then it's as if theyre not good enough to go alone with#which is completely not the case#but aaaaah none of these plans are going smooth and i feel so annoyed at everyone all the time about it#which is really unfair of me to do bc everyone but me still has exams so OFC stuff isnt smooth#but also everything i try to get exited about gets countered with people just not keeping their agendas free or doubts or idk#i just FEEL like i always prioritise this friend group#but it really FEELS ... TO ME... that its not the same for everyone?#and its not rational at all too bc i KNOW i could prioritise way better and i also KNOW people cannot control when their mom plans a trip o#or when they have to work or give a camp or idk#but whenever i try to idk make an effort#it feels like the universe is against me#and idk this is probably just what being in you twenties is like#and right now its just a piling of all these different things that makes it feel more serious i guess#but idk...no girls trip...no gent fest with everyone together...no barbie premiere...half the group going abroad next year...#i dont blame anyone i know its hard and circumstances are forcing it#but i do feel sad about it#and i also feel hella petty that i really put a lot of effort into the google doc and consulted multiple sites and thought of everything#for people to then go -yeah but the transport- and -we dont need half the things on that list-#*and i took that personally gif* bc i know none of them said that to be rude#lmao love how i said i was just being dramatic and then added this rant lmao#needed to sort these feelings out real quick to see which ones i need to adress and which ones are irrelevant#Anne you have done nothing wrong ever (but also no one rlly has in this situation) but yknow not frustrated with u or smth
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fandom experiences i cherish and am glad i was there to experience:
Vocaloid (2009-2012) [aka the GOLDEN AGE OF FAN SUBBING]
Homestuck (2011-2013) [in it's original peak years]
Epic Mafia/Dangan Mafia (2013-2014) [Rooms were created BECAUSE of the DanMaf community]
Dangan Ronpa OC Community (2013-2015/2016) [better known as HELL]
Osomatsu-san (2016-2017) [directs everyone to my old ask blog @chorochan]
#yall will never understand how much the danron oc community means to me#ITR SUCKED TOTAL FUCKING ASS but it was smth ur never gonna see again#like... THAT many people in a SINGLE FANDOM OC COMMUNITY#NOT A CANON RP COMMUNITY. BUT RP COMMUNITY FOR *OCS*#it was insane on both the indie and group scenes#waiting to see the roster for doubt and other big name groups#dash commentary that turned small instances into huge community-wide events#knowing that everyone followed everyone so youd all be seeing the same things and able to participate in the random events#being a small-time rper suddenly thrust into popularity bcause you interacted with one of the popular rpers ONCE in a silly goofy event#and then subsequently became friends with said popular rper#making enemies bcause it was SO HUGE ud inevitably run into shitheads#god i miss those days#nothing is ever gonna replicate that#i wish i still had all my old blogs but i often re-used emails so i purged blogs a lot :(#i think nari's indie blog and one of his group blogs are the only ones of mine still up#OH and making sprites of ur characters so u could put them into posts the way danron did in the games#god.... god it was so cool#but also rlly terrible cause there was constant clashing and fights and discourse lmao
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