#'how's your sister'
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No, I'm not okay. Thanks for not asking.
#once again I am useless to everyone unless I'm a vessel for their stress#my own doesn't count and doesn't matter#and when you all use me up and leave me a husk you wonder why I'm not moving when you ask me for help#has anyone asked me recently if I'm okay? pshht#I'm the Support Person I'm always okay I never need anything#and if I do it's my fault for not supporting enough#ah well que cera cera#this is just who I am#I'm a vessel and nothing else#I've never been anything else and never will be#nobody gives a shit about me except in terms of what I can do for them news at 11#did you mean: my entire life thus far?#I'm sick of it#I'm sick of screaming and pleading for help into the cold uncaring void and getting 'so? I have my own problems#leave me alone if you're not going to help me'#fine. i'll leave you alone#I'll stop asking#I'll stop offering#I'll see how long it takes anyone to notice#they won't notice they never do#or rather they will as soon as I can't be the support person anymore#and then they'll get mad at me for not supporting them because I'm not an autonomous person#I'm an on call therapist#with no problems of my own#how dare I pretend to be anything else#I want one (1) person to ask me if I'm okay without having to be prompted to give a shit about my wellbeing#one person. once.#but it's always started with 'oh how are your parents'#'how's your sister'#everyone asks me if everyone BUT me is okay
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Drawing from a mini comic where the timeline is reset but Zuko still has all his memories
Minicomic here
#baked bean originals#I just like drawing sokkas mortified face and then checked out#absolutely humiliated by some fire nation ponytail freak and then your little sister and that stupid bald kid want to befriend him after he#starts lying about how you all were friends in a parallel universe or whatever#that's rough buddy#just realized it looks like zuko's doing some pathetic little thumbs up here#avatar the last airbender#atla#sokka#zuko#katara#aang#zuko time travel au
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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The 'own way' Vanessa spoke of:
#she was funny. but not funny haha. funny weird.#'how dare you endanger your sister' like sis your father has done more than endanger children but go off on the broke guy trying to make it#fnaf#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#vanessa monroe#elizabeth afton#josh hutcherson#elizabeth lail#william afton#halloween#spooky season#fnaf movie spoilers
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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MONSTER TOUDENS I soooo want to see more monster laios. also I love to headcanon that toshiro has something mad complicated going on toward both of them. i really really love laios and toshiro dynamic and think they should settle the cat fight in bed. the fic where shuro dreams about monster falin and laios is my everything
#like how delicious is the drama of kinda having it going for someone whos inlove with your lesbian sister and borferline hates you but not#anyway monster laios.....#im a ride he wouldnt survive#bonkers over dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laishuro#LAISHURO NATION RISE UP?????????????#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi#toshiro nakamoto#shuro dungeon meshi#falin touden#falin dungeon meshi#artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration
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#I was watching a bad movie with my sister and turns out my tolerance for movies that are bad is exceptionally high#like yea sure it was bad but#she said she cant mentally comprehend how something as bad can exist#babie#youre young. youll come across so many shitter movies than this#trust me#david tennant#mads mikkelsen#cary elwes#id say scott bakula but i think im the only one there#david duchovny#too oh hell#insert literally any actor ever
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in hindsight, s1 shellford listing the teachers who watch the crystal footage ("porter looks at it, jace looks at it, coach daybreak looks at it, vice principal goldenhoard looks at it") is absolutely hilarious.
4/4 bbegs. do none of the GOOD teachers want to take a gander at the crucial security footage while teenage girls are going missing en masse??
#someone's reblog tag said#corsica literally what were u doing#and that's exactly it!!! CORSICA how did you contribute to finding your sister???#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20
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How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.
"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.
"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.
"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.
"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"
"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.
"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"
Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"
"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."
He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.
Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.
"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."
Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.
"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."
Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!
Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"
"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.
"He will if he knows what's good for him."
"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"
"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.
Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"
Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."
Part 1 Part 3
#part 2#please read part 1#I had to redo a detail there to make something here make sense#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp dc crossover#dcxdp#danny phantom#dick grayson#dick needs a hug#dick needs sleep#danny's a hypocrite#work life balance#excelt it's being explained by a hypocrite 7 years younger than him#reverse adoption#is it really adoption if the kid shows up one day and just doesn't leave?#danny is going to make sure dick takes care if himself#good thing danny's sister and friends drilled this into his head#'this' being the importance of a proper work life balance#I maintain that Danny is a hypocrite#It's not adoption papers btw#It's a backstory#How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
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look we all want buck in tommys hoodie....
but i raise you a tommy who accidentally grabbed bucks hoodie and walks into harbour only to have lucy laugh so hard she falls out of her chair
#i know we're unlikely ever to see it but tommy and lucy bonding over just how WEIRD the 118 is gives me goddamn life#i just think she would be SUCH annoying little sister energy to him and it would be hilarious#like how we get the occasional dispatch storyline??? but a harbor storyline???#i would DIE#anyways please take this under consideration tim i am in your walls#otp: better ways to get your attention#bucktommy#firepilot#kinkley#tommy kinard#evan buckley#lucy donato#911 abc#911 on abc#em speaks
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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old Obi-Wan is so funny to me because his sass and overall bitchiness is like the last thing he's got and I'm so proud it survived the great depression of his 40s.
#morgs rambles#star wars#obi wan kenobi#this post was originally about how sass and bitchiness are whats left of his charisma pts#and i was going to list all the docks to his stats#which i mean ill put them here because its funny#also eating warm uncooked broccoli as i type this#achievement unlocked! abandonment issues and lack of self worth#achievement unlocked! dead master/parental figure#achievement unlocked! war general ios version 2#achievement unlocked! your child hates you#achievement unlocked! first girlfriend/ first love dead#achievement unlocked! younger sister/ daughter firgure leaves (youll never learn her fate)#achievement unlocked! weird grandfather dead (killed by your child/little brother)#achievement unlocked! complete extended family killed#achievement unlocked! two murder attempts via husband and child#achievement unlocked! friend dies in childbirth#achievement unlocked! small child#achievement unlocked! entire allit persumed dead or hostile#achievement unlocked! friend and friend's planet explodes#achievement unlocked! ghost#anakin skywalker#codywan#ahsoka tano#commander cody#sw rots#rots#sw tcw#twc#new hope
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iskall, 85th of his name (where are the other 84 gone???)
#[scissor sisters playing in the background] iiii can't decideeee how to draw your goddamn eyeeee🕺🕺🕺#anyways he's a creeter now#i also have a drawing of scar with the same cute nose but i will post it in a couple days 😔#also. there's etho on the first drawing because i was binge watching vault hunters on iskall's second chanel#(and because they have the same eyes on that drawing)#iskall85#my art#sketch
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I loved your headcannons about inukawa, reigen and reigens sister and I would really like to see what you think would happen if mob and reigens sister met and I was wondering if you could possibly draw them :D
hello yes I accidentally made a comic after seeing this ask yesterday 😁 bro psychoanalyzed her 😨
#doctorsiren#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#inukawa aneko#mp100 fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#doodle requests#comic#this happens after the show which is why the ages are like that#I was gonna make their ages be 35. 28. and 14.#but then I was gonna put a whole thing about how Aneko’s son is the age that her brother was when she had her son#and to be like ‘you can’t seriously believe your son won’t be different in 14 years time’#but I didn’t wanna make the comic longer so I opted for a post-show setting#there’s a Sakurai cameo because I love and miss him 🥺#remind me to never do comics with this lining brush again#my hand HUUUURTS#like it looks nice but GOOOODNESS GRACIOUS#anyways yes thank you for this ask#it would be really funny if it was really hard to change her mind#Y’know unlike the psychic antagonists in the show…Mob’s greatest reformation challenge…is Reigen’s older sister. who doesn’t have powers.#nobody tell her about Mameta and the UFO…she’d kill her brother on the spot#also don’t ask why I have Mob and Aneko’s name in first last format and Reigen’s in reverse#it just sounds…so wrong to say Arataka Reigen…it doesn’t flow as well… :(
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Gotta stay hydrated somehow...
Acht... we know why you watch the stage you don't have to hide it anymore.... grand fest more like freak fest...
#you know its bad when pearlina clocks your ass#anywaysss#hows yalls grandfest goinggg#splatoon#callie cuttlefish#callie splatoon#squid sisters#dedf1sh#acht splatoon#splatoon 3#calf1sh#agent 3#captain 3#agent 8#pearlina#pearl splatoon#marina splatoon#grand festival#grand fest splatoon#a smidge of agent 24 lol#acht being the biggest fattest hypocrite ever
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random eloise bridgerton: 28/?
#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton#eloisebridgertonedit#bridgertonedit#claudia jessie#by.athena#randomeloise#your honor they're so fucking special to me#my fave sisters fr im glad they actually showed how close they are this season
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