#꒰ v’s rambling ꒱

[vampstel]

Dress To Impress community has shit taste in men ‘cause what do you mean you think a slimmed down, fit Santa Claus who looks like your average e-boy is hot?…

[izzy-mccalla]

rip mythbusters you would've loved destroying cybertrucks

[humming-fly]

Every now and then I'm reminded Real People with Actual Jobs use tumblr and I've always been legitimately curious what all you weird adults are up to when you're not on this site and with tumblr's New Poll Feature I can finally get an answer! (or the closest approximation of an answer possible with only 10 available options h a)

[mintaikk]

I fuck hard with Asexual Venom, but the idea of Venom, an alien whose species doesn't breed sexually and don't have concepts of sex, being sexually attracted to some boring sad and sweaty white guy he picked up on the streets is just so funny to me

[some-pers0n]

There's two types of Will Wood fans, the ones who'll say that their favourite song is like BlackBoxWarrior, Suburbia Overture, or Against the Kitchen Floor, and the ones who'll say "yeah my favourite song is this unreleased track called 'Yoink of the Yukon's Public Admission of Going to Rehab' it was played live only once in 2015 here listen it's a banger" and they show you a 19 second 144p video recorded on a 3DS

[lathepoquerose]

Skyrim Warhammers Tiered on Whackability

F-Tier: Dawnguard Rune, Orcish, Ebony

These are far too pointy and lack weight. Especially Dawnguard Rune. I enjoy the elegant cylindrical head, but it's giving aluminum. The Ebony Warhammer is actually quite ugly and inelegant, and the Orcish Warhammer has such a large mouth that it's no good for whacking at all. BAD.

D-Tier: Iron, Steel, Dwarven

Mhm, mhm, yes yes. Much more solid here, however, both steel and iron are still far too pointy. Dwarven is perfect for cudgeling, however, it unfortunately looks too small and lacks weight. 0/10 would not whack it.

C-Tier: Nordic, Daedric, Glass, Elven

A truly reprehensible level of pointy, however, these hammers clearly have some weight to them and can WHACK. I especially feel that the Elven Warhammer would be excellent for whacking.

B-Tier: Volendrung, Champion's Cudgel, Ancient Nord Warhammer

Volendrung could feasibly be S tier but they overdesigned it and made it fucking POINTY. Solid whack but NO POINTY.

Champion's Cudgel is pointy done correctly. Love the tenderizer. But not higher because I don't like the looks of that head weld.

Ancient Nord Warhammer is one solid whack, however I doubt its structural integrity, I do feel that the handle may snap.

A-Tier: Dragonbone

NOW THAT'S A SOLID WHACK. Idk why it has a little keychain holder but sure. Who tf is gonna run up on the guy with a dragon hip bone hammer? Structurally solid. Based. Nice quality welds. If you're using any hammer below this tier, kill yourself.

S-Tier: Stahlrim Warhammer

This is the SINGLE GREATEST WEAPON IN SKYRIM. THIS IS A GIANT PIECE OF ICE ROCK ATTACHED TO A HANDLE. WHACK. WHACK WHACK. WHACK WHACK. 10/10 WOULD FUCKING WHACK.

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[dejasquietplace]

vergil finds that he can rely on his other half for some things (like uncomfortable social situations)

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Has V and Uzi ever tried topping N instead of N and V topping Uzi?

Oh definitely :"3 he likes it~

N has his moments true- but he would do anything for his ladies, first and foremost uwu - ESP IF it gets him to receive any sort of pampering/ kisses/ praise/ etc as reward~ :p [not that he needs to they just shower him with it ksdkjsfks]

admittedly he really likes being bottomed by V because of several reasons- one of which being she knows him better and it really does feel nice having his decades-year-old crush praising him and giving him kisses and caresses/ etc-

But also being bottomed by Uzi feels like a communication of trust and bonding in such a more intimate way that makes him crave more- also its kinda funny when you consider a big machine-eating predator letting himself be completely in the hands of a shrimpy chaos gremlin of doom sfkjsdkjfk

Uzi supports him emotionally just as much as V and when they kinda sandwich him inbetween with kisses and caresses- he is just literally fluttering with love overdose and a heart eyed visor- [remember boi literally gets excited at the smallest things and yes by flutter i mean the dreaded wingboner ur welcome-]

[stormypip7]

the *other* part! i felt the need to draw this one too, considering the events of the latest episode...

(for @cherrifire 's dtiys! again)

/also, small thing; you can see where i messed up a bit on grian's face (that's just the downside of using biros to draw with)

[fox-guardian]

As funny as it would be for there to be another sans vs reigen standoff, I Do think it'd be really funny if we got Cecil to go all the way. Especially since, in my opinion, he stands the test of time and has come all the way around to the new brand of sexyman.

Like, yes, he was, in WTNV's early days, given the twink treatment. Dapper style, youthful features, etc. But he was never like that canonically.

He dresses horrifically (affectionate), he's canonically an older man even in the podcast's beginning, and he is and never has been a twink (he is neither thin, nor fat. Implying at thinnest, straight-sized, and at biggest, mid-sized).

Obviously this doesn't change the fandom's sexymanification of him, but it does lead him to fit more nicely into the sexyman that the aging tumblr userbase has recently developed:

The Babygirl.

Listen. Apart from the above, he can't cook for shit, he's petty, he's written Jaws slash fic and had his intern beta read it, he is CANONICALLY a dilf, he grows his own weed, he loves his husband So Goddamn Much, he won't shut up about how much he carnally desires said husband, he mentions his kinks on the fucking air, AND HE EVEN HAS A FUCKING TUMBLR.

I think he fits the bill for the pathetic older queer man that tumblr has grown so very Normal about. He is so very powerful. And after ten years of being this way I think he should be allowed to go all the way to the top. I think he's earned it.

Sure, if he doesn't stand a chance in the final four, I'll accept sans vs reigen. But if it gets close enough, say, above 40%.... Maybe we could push to go all the way. For the bit. For one of the original sexymen of tumblr history. For our dear gay uncle, Cecil Gershwin Palmer. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[vampstel]

I just uploaded 40+ decals on Roblox. Someone save me 😭

[mileymint]

Man. I guess my name is .

Or if we're going for my actual name.....

OH SHIT

[randomminty]

Five billion octopath 2 scribbles i feel sick

[morningnoodles]

thinking about the headcanon of Thorin being immediately attracted to Bilbo the second he stepped inside Bag End and like duh of course he would be when THIS GUY AND HIS SEXY NIGHT SHIRT is what greets him

[riskyalt]

Etoiles: "What the FUCK is pickleball?!"