#‘as a man without an identity’
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It is not what you do for me that makes me love you. It's your kindness. Your empathy. How much you care. Just being you is enough, Colin. I do not need you to save me. I just need you to stand by me. To hold me. To kiss me.
#bridgertonedit#bridgerton#polinedit#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#loved how colin came to terms with lw through pen's old letters#not hearing from her all summer sent him into such a tailspin that he had an identity crisis and invented a whole new persona#but rereading the letters he had missed made him realize that the part he wanted to separate from penelope was her all along#he had fallen in love with all of her without even knowing it#those letters and the lack of them were really the catalyst for his love for her#also how he admitted that his pride and ego got in the way because sometimes you can't help but struggle with feeling inferior#and unaddressed insecurities always come back#idk man#eight episodes of them telling each other you're enough you're good you're beautiful and i love you#mine
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Iron Man (1968) #17
#not him losing literally everything#‘is this how it ends…?’#‘as a man without an identity’#can’t get money from the bank can’t buy a new suit after that one got all torn in a fight#can’t even get into the Avengers mansion#and of course he doesn’t have his armor anymore#so he’s entirely lost his Iron Man identity and that safeguard for his chestplate#I think this really highlights how Tony is reliant on his wealth not just to mantain his superhero life#but just to stay alive period#nearly arrested after having to resort to stealing some charge from a car battery#last time he went into hiding I believe he went to Pepper’s apartment#but of course it’s not like he can’t contact her or Happy or Janice Cord#cause the life model decoy has warned everyone that’s someone trying to impersonate him#reading all this has me wondering if this is a concept that got used again later in Iron Man’s comics#like I could see a ‘Tony gets his identity stolen’ story fitting even in a later era’s style#and it seems well-suited to explore this character#marvel#tony stark#my posts#comic panels
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Ah yes the good old "I can't remove my boyfriend's mask" trope.
#some of them are sensitive#some need to keep their identities a secret#and one unfortunate bastard outright dies without it#i love this trope and all the delicious drama and tooth rotting fluff it brings#ghostsoap#dinluke#vaderwan#batjokes#kylux#spideypool#*stares adoringly at the collection of ships i have*#i love them your honor#star wars#spider man#deadpool#din djarin#luke skywalker#obi wan kenobi#darth vader#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#batman#joker#telltale batman#general hux#kylo ren#shipping tropes
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jon val jon or something
#jean valjean#les miserables#les mis#meme#no bc i just read the part where FIRST of all he's 'so happy his conscience began to bother him' and immediately goes 'can't have that'#and then he 'lived in the backyard like a dog' OF HIS OWN HOUSE WHILE COSETTE IS IN THE MAIN BUILDING#and jvj my beloved i am obsessed with you king but it is SO unhealthy to intentionally deprive yourself just so someone else can tell you..#'no no don't do that you need to take care of yourself' like bro i know you want to be nurtured and have someone prove their love for you#but it's really not great that the only way you keep your room at a liveable temperature and eat good food is when cosette is making you#i say this without judgement bc that was me once too but good GOD man your identity cannot be her!!!!#and stop with the preemptive self-inflicted harm!!! stop with the self-protective and yet -destructive distancing!!#you're only doing that because you want someone to tell you to stop!!!!!#alternate chapter title: in which an old man finds himself at home among the youth (2014 tumblr)#ANYways all this to say jvj is a projectable 10000% and i hate him because i love him because i hate that version of me bc i love me#or: SHUT UP AND BE LOVED YOU SILLY OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#my meme
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This came to me in a dream
#i saw the chipmuk image testedday and dreamed of this#art#naruto#Naruto Shippuden#Konan#kisame hoshigaki#Konan Akatsuki#Akatsuki#Obito Uchiha#Tobi#Tobi Akatsuki#idk man.. how do u tag this guyand his 47 identities#tbh the big fat caption isnt funny at all but this would just look empty asf without it so bear with me
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It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.
People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.
And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.
If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.
#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth#such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!'#i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry#[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:]#like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl#will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof#at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without#actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls]#and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything#i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello?#and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol.#[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb#cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee]#also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry#this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this#this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha#man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands#cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians.#any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups#anyway. my final message goodb.ye#cherokee#tsalagi
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as if it was never there at all.
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#gaster#ok little bit of rambling bc ive been catching up on a LOT of deltarune stuff#something something guy(s) who cant be perceived without also ceasing to exist#i had the thought yesterday that. gaster is sort of the anti-chara in a way. if you say his name he ‘disappears’#the game crashes or resets etc. literally the opposite of invoking chara lol#plus how chara is so associated with deletion of worlds. and here gaster is wanting to create new ones#creating new worlds. creating a vessel for the player. creating connections#and its so much more sad when you think about how deltarune is like. fundamentally his attempt to connect with the player#he can maintain a connection with us. but we can’t see him. or show him his own name. or acknowledge his identity in any way#or else that connection will be severed. or he’ll disappear. or he’ll cease to have ever existed#mystery man goes away the moment you interact. egg man was never there but he gave you an Egg#etc etc#the white egg noelle was given in her game makes me think about this too because#that egg remained there the whole time she was afraid of it. it couldnt be thrown away. it wouldnt hatch. it was just There#and then when she comes back later and decides to take care of it like any of her other pets. THEN it disappears#’_____ left home due to happiness.’#how do you form real lasting connections when the connection itself makes you disappear
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This got long and annoying so its under a cut now
The way in the fight w the museum director insul gets the same big injuries he has given trianon (so far), aand particularly the ones that T thinks back on often as specific sources of fear/humiliation/control (pepper sprayed in the eyes; kicked in the balls; choked with smth small and thin ((wire / car window)))….. im too tired to formulate a proper Thought abt this but the fact this all happens right in front of tjat one painting of dante & virgil in hell + insul and the director are in the exact same pose right as insul is about to die* is obviously so meant to evoke the idea of contrappasso….. at this stage trianon isnt “””strong””” enough (doesnt understand Insul enough and most importantly doesnt fully inhabit himself and his own strengths) to be able to pay back Insul’s violence (as he does later, though not in such a literal way anymore) so tje director will do for now🥰 bc they both need to descend into hell they both need to be subject to physical and psychological violence in order to strip down layers……. so its cool how the director serves that purpose for this phase 1 both in story for insul himself (who eats shit in this fight) and also as a sort of alert for the reader like make no mistake they are BOTH gonna get put thru the ringer. even the top has to wade through cocytus! or smth
#i wrote and erased so many asides and digressions bc they were nit relevant but#and obviously im not trying to imply this is a story about giving back what you got just as bad in order for Badass Self Improvement or#whatever to be achieved#like the n1 innovation of SW in so much Twink Chained To Radiator and Tortured literature#is that the resolution is not ‘he chains tje kidnapper back😈 he seemed so uke and frail bjt hes the strong one now!’#NOR ‘he learned to be happy chained to the radiator (or toilet ig) bc thats what he wanted deep down all along#and just needed a tough strong man to give it to him❤️’#but rather it creates this beautiful and perfectly calibrated solution where#the suffering that one party inflicts on the other becomes fundamental to the existence & identity of said party#and vice versa. ‘if i lost you i would lose part of what happened to me / insul reached back answering the same’#like by the ending insul does still absolutely have physical power over Trianon and he beats his ass black and blue regularly lol#but also Trianon has this gorilla grip on insul’s soul and sense of self and self worth; a sense that was kind of nonexistent or#dormant or repressed in Insul before and hed managed to be a ‘strong’ person without it bc thats the kind of thing you can live without in#Society if youre a strong able bodied masculine man. but trianon teases out the messed up abused little boy underneath and its like#NOT at all a beauty and the beast hes vulnerable around me ❤️ fantasy its actually kind of horrific.#like trianon does very much do some psychological torture yandere shit to insul …….. and by the end he COULD kill him and walk away but#he CHOOSES to do that……..#and ofc this is all deeply weilian not as in lines up perfectly with what she says necessarily but is very much in discourse with her ideas#anyway I’ve typed so fucking much and for what….. -_-‘’ sorry#serious weakness
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What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?
It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.
They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.
So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.
Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).
The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.
The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.
So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.
Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.
#Akoshos are also probably like.... 1-2% of the population. Like its an Accepted gendered space but not a large one so it's less#'managed' in a lot of senses#It's actually kind of hard to 'access' the akoshos space to begin with. Like parents look for Signs In Early Childhood and most#akoshos are typically assigned their gender early.#If you don't manage to access this space there's a good chance of being Stuck as a man with any deviance from your expected#gender roles being the HIGHLY unaccepted 'male effeminacy' which is a VERY different concept than (though obviously has tensions With)#being akoshos. A lot of akoshos self-label as adults after losing support from their families in part for being '''effeminate men'''#(this is also kind of the only instance in which gender self-identification occurs on a basis that will be Broadly accepted. Though#this happens in the context of already being detached from one's familial support network and people not knowing you self-assigned)#There are also certainly Some cases where akoshos self-identify as adults and this is accepted by their fathers. For a variety#of reasons but unfortunately often it's going to be like-#'we must have missed something but whatever. glad our kid is actually supposed to be this way and isn't just effeminate'#Also much less likely to be accepted if they're an expected male heir without brothers to take up the role in their stead#And VERY unlikely in upper classes where family members are public figures. If you've been introduced as a man here you're probably#out of luck.#(Like you'll see accusations that adult-assigned akoshos are just pretending in order to disguise being male effeminates)#This position isn't freedom from gender norms or like. The equivalent of an accepted trans identity. It's its own assigned gender#space in an Expanded but strict binary with expanded but strict roles#Also the societal trends over centuries are showing signs of increasing collapse between the notions of 'effeminate man' (bad)#and 'akoshos' (normal). At this point the concepts are still very separate but the current societal trajectory is leaning towards the#akoshos role being phased out of its normalization (in tandem with Wardi culture becoming more intensely patriarchal with#the collapse of Wardi groups into one identity)#Like 600 years ago there was NOT a concept of 'effeminate man' and proto-akoshos roles were a#more central concept that enveloped divergences from expected masculinity. Whereas now the akoshos space is significantly narrower#and the concept of 'effeminate man' exists in tandem as a stigmatized descriptor. And things have gotten to the point of#people claiming that ''effeminate men'' will 'pretend' to be akoshos#The akoshos identity becoming stigmatized/phased out isn't inevitable but the tensions around it are definitely growing#Though there's also a sense that Peak Patriarchy has been hit and you're starting to see people pushing back at these norms in fairly#notable ways. There's not going to be like. A feminist revolution but civilian women getting more political freedoms (while the overall#context stays patriarchal) is a likely outcome which could also have side benefits of relaxing masculinity standards Somewhat
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lays down and stares at the ceiling. really wish it was as easy for me to ignore casual exorsexism as it seems to be for so many of you
#rant in tags ->#obviously by 'you' i just mean. gestures vaguely#and this is both passive-aggressive and genuine. i really wish i could do anything OTHER than notice-#-people making new binaries and forcing everyone into 'fem' or 'masc' and positivity posts only celebrating trans men and trans women#and the discourse regarding the term transandrophobia completely ignoring our existence without again forcing the masc/fem box#and the weird lack of popular non-binary headcanons for characters unless again using the masc/fem box#and mocking and stereotyping and 'haha weird names' 'sock it/fae/paw' 'catgender teenager' 'theyfab' in posts EVERYWHERE.#have you ever noticed how so many posts that need a 'idiot trans person' strawman go directly to non-binary stereotypes?#have you ever noticed that people use transmasc/transfem and trans man/trans women as synonyms?#have you ever noticed a complete lack of acknowledgement of non-binary people's existence in TME/TMA posts?#have you ever noticed how most 'non-binary positivity' posts that are spread around are jokes about being creatures or freaks?#have you ever noticed the implications of thinking of non-binary people as inhuman regardless of their identity?#i have. i literally cannot fucking stop noticing. i'm exhausted.#anyway. stop calling me transmasc.#vent#exorsexism
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Watching Isaiah Bradley's mind control play out in CABNW: this is literally why Bucky kept him a goddamn secret even from Steve, after Isaiah had to fake his death to escape and live in some semblance of peace, and publicizing him without asking his permission first was a fucking dangerous thing to do to the poor man's safety what the hell were the tfawts writers thinking
#isaiah bradley#what were the tfatws writers smoking when they thought surprising isaiah with HEY EVERYONE KNOWS YOU NOW#AFTER WE'VE ESTABLISHED HOW MUCH DANGER YOU WERE IN FROM YOUR OWN GOV.#mcu#anti tfatws#also i hope people don't treat isaiah the way they treat bucky for this#freaks who think brainwashing and mind control is the victim's fault...#bucky barnes#i don't understand why the finale framed sam revealing isaiah's identity to the public WITHOUT ASKING FIRST as a good thing??#honor the men of isaiah's troop YES but don't essentially doxx a man who wants to live in peace and safety#why the fuck did they frame it as a good thing its so so so dangerous
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Positioning Louis as the "Edwardian wife who becomes trapped by her husband" in a literal sense does no justice to analyzing his actual place and role as a Black man in his society and in his relationship with Lestat. Any interpretation or analysis you do of him when it comes to their relationship cannot be stripped of the racial aspect because it's constantly there. Texts analyzing Edwardian wives (and particularly ones this fandom loves to bring up) typically were white and the dissection of their place in societal rules are always viewed from the aspect of gender that is within these texts only allowed to white women, but never to Black men or even Black women. And gender and race become inseparable when you discuss the latter, no matter how people may view it.
This is why I can't take this approach to analyzing Louis' story seriously because if you don't consider the racial aspect in his relationship even to himself and his sexuality, what's the point? You're still centering the standards that were more placed upon white male/female couples than you're willing to look into the unique structure of Black families, religion, their view of homosexuality and how that sooner heavily influences Louis than the family's "need" for him to be sold off to an Edwardian husband. Even in Louis' own story, him and Claudia being Black is more centered on than any demeaning "housewife" comment he tries to go against from Claudia's perspective. She makes that comment once, whereas we have at least two episodes from Louis' perspective that have very blatant hints and showings of the racism he still suffers from under the Jim Crow era and how it affects his self-worth as well as his relationship with Lestat who doesn't seem to take into consideration how any of the blatant racial aggressions and objections still affect Louis and what he considers to be important to achieve in his own life.
Then there's also the pointed topic of Louis' position as a Black man who is a pimp to the Black women he has as sex workers, as well as how his position as a Black father affects Claudia, another Black girl. If you insist on Louis being centered as this "Edwardian white wife" who is confined by his implicit gender in his marriage, where does that leave Claudia and the blatant misogyny and disrespect she gets from both him and Lestat? Lestat who is her white father abuses her. Positioning Louis within the strict confines of "being her mother" doesn't do her any favors because he didn't hesitate to choke her when he was deeply emotionally distressed, nor does it make him look any better when he's fine with chopping up her diaries and then delivering them on a silver platter so that Daniel, another white man, can read and dissect. Even if he does this under the sole pretense of "doing right by her", how does it in any way help when he also can't face up to his failures towards her?
#interview with the vampire#claudia#louis de pointe du lac#i just feel like all these needless 'Lestat is the patriarchy' discussions; even when done in order to shield Louis#do him and Claudia no favors because y'all keep centering these weird strictly white standards in your interpretations#'Louis is an Edwardian wife' Louis is a Black man who was turned in 1910s Louisiana#the structural confines Edwardian wives were given really aren't the same when you take into consideration the racial segregation#of Louis' time; and I feel like the specific issues that Black men then faced when it came to 'proving' their worth when it comes to gender#are then just sidelined and forgotten as if those aren't the standards Louis grew up with#if you want to discuss Louis' placement in his relationship with Lestat it's kind of really heavy-handed even on the show#that he's a black man and that that heavily affects him foremostly in this relationship#also I'm so confused over this insane idea that Lestat is somehow the patriarchy while Louis is a woman and y'all say this unprompted#without considering how it looks when you call a gay black man a woman and a white bisexual man a guy#i feel like you can evade bad stereotypes of painting black men as overaggressive without veering off into the whole other side#while still sounding vaguely backhanded#and it doesn't make it any less weird when I see other non-black/white fans insist on this interpretation#it just comes off as y'all sooner being able to connect to Louis if you see him in a role typically embodied by white women#than to refer to the actual identity he has as a black gay man
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don't mind my self indulgence but uhh Touya being healed with the combination of rapidly evolving technology, healing quirks and Endeavor's funding to the point it's like the fire on Sekoto never happened. he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the person that looks back at him. the burns were such an intrinsic part of him, even before he became Dabi, even before he woke up sixteen years old with stitches all over his face, back when he was a child and trained his fire with the parts of his body that he he could easily hide under his clothes.
it's nothing like when he woke up from the coma and looked in the mirror for the first time, seeing something his mind struggled to comprehend as himself, the too-old boy with desperation in his eyes and a garish smile cut directly into his face belonging in his worst nightmare that has come true. accepting it back then was easy, the wretched feeling of brokenness following his every footstep since he was four years old. the outside matching his insides was a relief, in a twisted way, as much as it hurt to imagine his family looking at him and not recognizing Touya, as sorrowful as it was to live through that fantasy.
this- just feels wrong. he doesn't see himself in this new, unfamiliar face. what he sees is rather a mosaic of his family's features: his mother's soft white hair, his father's eyes, Fuyumi's eyelashes and Natsuo's stubborn eyebrows. the combination of so familiar but foreign features combined into a mask that was plastered on his own ruined face.
he hated that forlorn looking boy's picture sitting on his altar and he hated thinking that that's how his family remembered him. it's the very same boy's older face that he sees in the mirror.
Touya was never this pitiful, desolate boy. he was always burning, even when the others couldn't see it. being stuck with this hurts worse than being faced with the consequences of his reckless self-abandoning training.
and worst of all, he knows that if he ever starts using his quirk, the cremation process will start all over again.
#idk man i just like the imagine of healed touya dissociating for hours any time he sees his reflection#the dabi identity has become so intrinsic to him even outside of the plane of villainy#this boy has been slowly and inevitably cremating himself from the moment he got his quirk#going out in a blaze of glory was his plan#and instead he is stuck with the choice between never using his quirk#which has always been an integral part of his identity#or starting the cremation process all over again#i think he would cry about it... a lot#especially if they healed him after the battle when he was unconscious#without him giving his consent or even being aware of the procedure#he would be Mad mad lmao#ok bye#bnha#dabi#todoroki touya
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thinking about how most mental health diagnoses have questioning or resisting these labels which were forced upon you built in as a symptom, so there is no 'sane' way to disagree with the mental health professional.
#text#my stuff#psych abolition#antipsych#antipsychiatry#sanism#ableism#medical abuse#remember the man who was court ordered to not use his own name after his identity was stolen#remember the man who was institutionalized for two years in a psych ward in Hawaii after his identity was mistaken for a patient#remember how alexander morris was put in a straitjacket for correctly identifying himself#if a mental health professional disagrees with the facts that you maintain violence towards you becomes the automatic response#in all of these cases they were literally not allowed to prove their identity because they were already deemed 'crazy' without any proof
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*lovingly tackles Aine*
Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽`)
Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—
*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIINE ;-; once again. thank you so much!! it rlly means a lot to me that you enjoyed my writing and felt inspired to draw this :'>#and as someone who loves fashion and character design. it's so so interesting to analyze your version of savior#there's so much symbolism and visual storytelling in each sketch/ outfit and i shall now proceed to pick apart each detail as best as i can#her snezhnayan fit.....god i love it. it's regal. distinctively snezhnayan. and draws attention to her--and you just know that was pierro's#intention when he dressed her in those garments. IT'S JUST SO...!! savior's wardrobe scrubbed clean of her original culture and preferences#replaced with the foreign garments of her captor's nations.....in line with this. i love how her kokoshnik and khaenri'ahn earrings are big#and attention-grabbing. you can't look at her without taking note of those accessories. it begs the question:: how many times has savior#looked at the mirror after being dressed up in snezhnaya and was unable to recognize her own reflection?? :'>#also shoutout to some details aine shared with me: 1) the face marks are inspired by weeping angels 2) the kokoshnik was traditionally worn#by married noblewomen BUT the veil was normally for unmarried women so savior's outfit can be seen as a form of compliance + rebellion#(though later on in history it became accepted for married women to also wear that veil. also my apologies if what i said is inaccurate)#lastly shoutout to savior's expression!! very poised and mysterious....due to her emotional state or pierro's rules on how to act as his#spouse in public?? we'll never know~ the first drawing hits even harder when you compare it to the next one!! such an interesting contrast~#savior in her plain attire. casual and domestic with a smile on her face....i'm guessing this is her pre-fatui version?? she looks so warm#and friendly. and i can definitely understand why pierro fell for her smile <3#also i fucking love the caption. sorry pierro but you are cursed to be a loser/ simp/ pathetic man in all of my fics and AUs xD#NOW ONTO GODDESS! SAVIOR AAAHHHH!! i love the greek goddess motifs. she looks so regal and awe-inspiring but in a different way from her#snezhnayan attire--archaic. divine. and more suited to her personal style.....yet both versions of her look so painfully isolated :'>#her blank eyes. emotionless face. and veil give me the vibes of a spooky victorian ghost...or would a statue/ portrait be more fitting??#the lack of a necklace is also an interesting design choice given what happens in the fic. and now i realized i forgot to comment on your#version of her snezhnayan necklace oops. similar to the kokoshnik and earrings. the size + grandeur makes it impossible to ignore#that and big jewels = expensive af. ohhh and i love the sparkles on her veil!! pierro rlly spared no expense in dressing up his wifey <3#it's also funny how all of these outfits are similar to my own version in terms of 'savior wore grand clothing during her glory days as a#goddess -> wore simple attire after her decline for practicality and to blend in with humans/ disassociate from her old identity -> is now#dressed in even grander clothing as the harbinger's spouse. but it's used to reinforce her new identity and pierro's control over her'#tldr:: your design is so creative and i can see the effort you put in analyzing her character and depicting her based on your interpretatio#thank you for being my mutual + reader and i hope we can share even more harbinger/darling brainrot in the future :>
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I’m gonna be super real as a gay trans man, the idea that people (especially those like me) MUST center women at all times, in their lives and identity and attraction and oppression, is not feminist and dare I say it’s not even progressive.
#when did pop feminism turn from ‘we literally just want women to be equal to men’#into the cartoonish man-hating woman supremacy people used to strawman feminism as being#there was a time when we all knew that was ridiculous and not a feasible goal and not helpful to anyone#so let’s put that down maybe yeah?#this post was inspired by the fact I feel paranoid about my own private enjoyment of media#because I happen to be gay and a man and therefore shockingly tend to prefer men in media#and I worry constantly that I’m secretly a misogynist for that#because the idea that if you aren’t thinking about women every second of the day then you’re a misogynist#has seeped into my brain#and I hate that#I hate that I can’t enjoy my identity and my main object of attraction in private#without feeling scared
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