#so let’s put that down maybe yeah?
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I’m gonna be super real as a gay trans man, the idea that people (especially those like me) MUST center women at all times, in their lives and identity and attraction and oppression, is not feminist and dare I say it’s not even progressive.
#when did pop feminism turn from ‘we literally just want women to be equal to men’#into the cartoonish man-hating woman supremacy people used to strawman feminism as being#there was a time when we all knew that was ridiculous and not a feasible goal and not helpful to anyone#so let’s put that down maybe yeah?#this post was inspired by the fact I feel paranoid about my own private enjoyment of media#because I happen to be gay and a man and therefore shockingly tend to prefer men in media#and I worry constantly that I’m secretly a misogynist for that#because the idea that if you aren’t thinking about women every second of the day then you’re a misogynist#has seeped into my brain#and I hate that#I hate that I can’t enjoy my identity and my main object of attraction in private#without feeling scared
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Following an accident, Danny wakes up in Gotham City in a DC universe. Lacking any forms of ID or possessions beyond the clothes on his back, he’s forced to commit some crimes to survive. Minor crimes, but still.
And then he gets caught.
During the court proceedings, they come to the mistaken conclusion that he’s a Meta suffering from some psychiatric issues such as Cotard’s Syndrome (a real rare condition where a person holds the delusional belief that they’re dead/don’t exist/etc).
Thus, between his “need for mental treatment” and the concerns about housing someone with his unique physical traits, he is sentenced to spend time in Arkham Asylum. He’s under pretty low security aside from the anti-Meta stuff and has more freedoms than some other inmates, but it’s still not a great experience. Even at the best of times, Arkham is hardly a nice place.
Some of his fellow residents are decently chill all things considered, but lots very much aren’t.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#danny fenton in gotham city#just gonna slightly sidestep any questions about how the containment systems work or why “genuinely a ghost” is so unbelievable#i wanted to put Danny in Arkham so for whatever reason It Just Works#maybe danny had a bit of anti-ghost tech with him that they reverse engineered#or maybe something already existing in DC works#and as for the “dead” part… maybe his halfa/Realms nature is too unique so they assume he must be wrong about being ghostly? idk#also i think this’d be a good opportunity for a dpxdc fic to explore non-woobified versions of the rogues#like. where they aren’t watered down to be completely chill and barely criminals#e.g. yeah Poison Ivy cares for the environment and has protected kids but she’s still a terrorist who’s killed and mind controlled people#Or Killer Croc who is very much a victim of abuse/hate for his appearance but has also still attacked people and engaged in cannibalism#They’re not complete monsters but they’re not wholly innocent either#The story idea takes place in a mental hospital for (mostly) criminals! Let them have done genuinely bad things even if they’re improving!
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how do u imagine natasha + sampo’s relationship?
I. Feel a little bad for leaving this in my inbox as long as I did, especially since I said in this post I could write a whole essay on them. But then when I tried to actually answer this, I realized ah shit, I can't really articulate what I think of them at all OTL
(so have a bajillion words of meta analysis of them instead fklajklasjf)
Just! Sampo is very mysterious figure, and we know so little of his background and his motivations! So it's really difficult to get a solid read on some of his relationships with other characters. Regardless, I do think that Natasha is perhaps the one he's closest with, and that she is the one person who knows him the most intimately in all of Belobog.
And a lot of it IS hard to pin down because of Sampo's slippery nature, but also because it's like. If you look at just Natasha's dialogues about Sampo, it doesn't really look like much. It only becomes more meaningful when compared to how everyone else talks about him.
Most other characters just comment on what Sampo does, as in his observable actions that are easy to see on the surface or from a distance.
Natasha is one of the very, very few that actually speaks to Sampo's personality or philosophy. Like she not only is able to describe a certain behavior of his, but she's able to explain the why behind it.
At least part of this is probably that they spend so much time together- Hook even comments on it during her companion quest.
And tbh I don't really think it needs more proof or anything with such a flat out statement like that, but this is actually further supported by the fact that Seele is the only other character in Belobog to sorta-kinda comment on Sampo's personality; if Sampo were hanging around the clinic with Natasha all day, Seele would probably be the person he would see second-most there. Of the dialogues posted further up in this post, Hook obviously sees him all the time, but it's not always in the clinic, and besides she's still very young...she wouldn't have the same read on him an adult would. Luka avoids the clinic whenever he can because he's worried about taking up Natasha's valuable time. And the Landau siblings aren't even present in Boulder Town until after the Stellaron is quieted.
Seele, on the other hand, is extremely loyal and devoted to Natasha, and seems to worry about her a lot. She doesn't have the same reservations as Luka, and it would feel right to see her in the clinic frequently, taking orders and missions and trying to make sure Natasha doesn't run herself in the ground. So it would make sense for her to see a lot of Sampo if he's always in there, too, enough that she would have things to say about his personality, whether she likes that or not haha.
Of course we know from Sampo's lines that it's not that he's sick, he's just reporting back to Natasha. Sampo not only smuggles in supplies across the border like what most people know him for, he's also Natasha's source of intel.
Bringing back intel doesn't necessarily have to involve a lot of conversation though, especially because it would make more sense for Sampo to be turning in written reports. It decreases the chance of Natasha mishearing/misunderstanding something or having to rely on memory alone, neither of which are really things you probably want to be doing when bad intel can mean the difference between life and death in her circumstances. So I do really wonder what it is Sampo does in the clinic all day haha. Given that he's a big believer in the power of small talk bringing in big clients, it's entirely possible Sampo is just in there being chatty, happily making conversation and keeping Natasha company most of the time...which is kinda cute. He also really could just be talking shop, too, of course- Sampo does a lot of work for Natasha, and I don't think it'd be a stretch to assume she's his main client. There's probably a lot to discuss about supply quotas, incoming intel, scheduled drops, etc.
My favorite option, though, is actually based on one of Sampo's options from the main quest, where he says:
Because like! The way he says this, the way he specifies that this is his opinion, but no one seems to care what he thinks? And how he calls them stubborn in particular? It really sounds like Sampo has been trying to get Wildfire to operate in a different direction. And if you look up the exact definition of "artless," you get this
which very much fits Sampo, and how he does things. He has guile and deception down to an art form. Sampo goes on to call Wildfire "do-gooders," but then cautions the trailblazer not to underestimate them because of that- indicating that Sampo sees that type of philosophy as something naive, or at least just ineffective. Something that you would underestimate a person for.
And the person Sampo associates with the most in Wildfire, the one he's always seen with, the one who would hold the most sway to change the modus operandi of the organization is...Natasha.
So I wonder if Sampo has been trying, possibly for years now, to get Natasha to see what he thinks of as reason, and start playing dirty to survive. I wonder if that's what he spends so much time in the clinic for, is because he does care, and he wants her and the rest of them to live, and he has been trying to convince her to go with his way of doing things, but Natasha has been refusing him, refusing to compromise her morals.
Because we know from some readables and from the general Vibe, both up on the surface and down below, that things were getting pretty dire. Rivet Town has fallen. The Silvermane Guards are being whittled down and broken. The Fragmentum was right on everyone's doorstep, and I'm sure that if the Astral Express hadn't arrived- and that if Sampo hadn't set the stage so perfectly, if he hadn't played his part just so- then all of Belobog would have eventually been snuffed out. Sampo had to have known it was happening. He must have known the end was upon them.
He doesn't even have a stake in Belobog- he's not from here. He could, assumingly, call it quits and leave when shit got tough by whatever means got him there in the first place.
And I'm sure Sampo wants to save all of Belobog, but I think he's particularly endeared by Natasha. He famously phrases his view of Elation as "true happiness always entails the manifestation of the dignity of mankind." And like. Who else embodies that so much as her?
Maybe it is a little vague and up to interpretation, but I feel like Natasha is FULL of that kind of dignity. She has been doing this since before the blockade. She willingly chose to stay in the Underground where she could do the most good. She has seen so, so much death and you can see how it weighs on her; she's become bitter, and wary, and weary. She has it out for the Guards (understandable), and she openly taunts Gepard and goes right for his throat when he shows up in Boulder Town, ten years too late, trying to help with the Fragmentum.
Natasha even seems to have given up any belief she may have once had. She's completely lost faith in Qlipoth.
All of this, and yet she still chooses to be kind. She still chooses to help people. There is something immensely admirable in all of that.
And I feel like you can see how much Sampo admires her in just how often he thinks of her, especially when someone needs help. Sampo smokebombs everyone and needs to get them somewhere safe in the Underground? He takes them to Natasha. Svarog is about to fucking kill everyone? Go get Natasha. He finds the trailblazer passed out in an alleyway? He carries them to Natasha. The trailblazer is seeing weird shit out in the Fragmentum? Recommend they go get a check up. Specifically from Natasha.
It's a little silly, but I think you can also see some of this when Sampo is being melodramatic about being caught red-handed in the museum event. He echoes a very important sentiment to Natasha and Wildfire;
And the mission where this ideology was displayed strongest was titled, "To Rot or To Burn."
(Hell, in the dream sequence of Penacony- regardless of whether that dream bubble came from Sampo or Sparkle, it had to be informed by Sampo's tales of Belobog. Sparkle has never been there herself. And the kind trashcan that immediately helps you and sets you on the right path, that tries to rally everyone together, the only one with a name so clearly and obviously taken from someone Sampo knew in Belobog? Is Shatana- an anagram of Natasha. Even from a meta perspective, they have the same VA. No other trashcan there gets that treatment. None.)
I think they have the same goals, and even hold some of the same views. Natasha's are much more obvious, but still. Sampo says this about Belobog's circumstances:
And he says this as though it should be obvious common sense. That when things are rough, you share and make sure everyone has enough. I think they both share this belief, it's just that they disagree on how to go about making things even. Natasha believes in rallying people for the cause and giving as much of herself as she can to make up for whatever people lack. Sampo believes that if some dipshit with more money than what they need falls for his bullshit and he gets to spread it around? Well hey, that sounds like a whole lot of their own fault.
Natasha is definitely aware of this, and she has no problem threatening Sampo whenever she thinks he's stepping out of line.
She keeps him on a very short leash, which like. Yeah no that's valid fjkdlsajfdklj
Even so, the way she talks about him, like... Maybe it's just me, and my rose-colored glasses, but she doesn't seem to dislike him nearly as much as she could? She kind of just. Says these things as statements about him, without any real vitriol behind them. This is just kind of how he is. She even seems to have a sense of humor about it.
And again! She has so much more to say about him than almost any other character.
I'd like to think part of her...affection? of sorts? for him is simple camaraderie. Circumstances are dire. Past, present, and future are all bleak. Things like that deepen bonds with your foxhole buddies. Sampo is dependent on Natasha for work and pay and a place to get away from the Guards. Natasha is dependent on Sampo for food and medicine and life-saving supplies. They both heavily rely on each other in this harsh environment, and they have a really nice back-and-forth that I appreciate with how they help each other out by owing favors as payment.
And the other part, I'd like to think actually IS because she knows him very well- maybe not things like his past, but she knows some of his personality and beliefs, and finds them agreeable enough. She even has the audacity to call him a poor liar at one point- Sampo! Of all people! Known by someone well enough to be caught out as a poor liar! He's either intentionally leading her on and letting her think she's caught him, or Natasha just really is that good. Neither would surprise me tbh
I think Natasha is also just uniquely prepared to understand Sampo, and is able to see his better sides without letting her judgement be clouded by his slimy manner. She's able to appreciate that his actions ARE extremely helpful, regardless of how he does them.
Even as she acknowledges that he isn't always trustworthy, she does still choose to rely on him and give him chances. She was pleasantly surprised by him here, but she still chose to trust him with this in the first place. She never treats him harshly, and she never seems to bear any kind of grudge with him.
But my favorite example of Natasha being able to understand Sampo? My favorite is this. This one little throwaway line, that didn't even involve him, wasn't even about him. I feel like Natasha is capable of knowing and understanding Sampo on a deeper level than most people can, solely because of this.
She gets it.
(As a fun bonus: In the current trashcan event, there's a simple mechanic where you get one trial character for the initial battle. Then, for the harder stage, you get that same trial character, plus a couple of extras. This is true for every Proof- except for Sampo's. In his harder stage, you use Asta, Black Swan, and Luocha. But in his initial stage, in an event all about friendship and relationships...)
#honkai star rail#hsr#sampotasha#sampo koski#natasha harrower#hsr sampo#hsr natasha#I don't particularly see them as lovers...but given it's all about their relationship in canon I think it's ok to tag as ship yeah?#if any shippers would like to use this as fuel it would make me so so happy haha#I think their relationship is very difficult to pin down but like. there certainly is. something there.#Maybe...saying I see them as an artist and his muse is most correct?#I'm very sleepy rn and it's past my bedtime. I stayed up late to write this but I don't wanna pick it apart later so let's go!#Off with you! Post now!#I don't think I could articulate in any more if I tried anyway. they make my brain whir but it's like. a wordless whir.#I have a hard time putting words to them fjdkslajfkl#so yeah we'll go with that. an artist and his muse#I hope its. at least somewhat understandable orz#Sorry to the anon that asked this like months ago. I hope you see it somehow.#answer#anon
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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thinking so much about folklore and evermore nowadays... especially how folklore deals with 'teenage' themes (at least the love triangle) and how easy it is to ask for forgiveness and forgive and just being honest about your feelings after allowing yourself to process it and having an upfront communication about everything including missing the childhood that you had/ the friends you were once close with and being open about it ... while evermore being the adult stories was just unresolved issues, love and infidelity (which is both a young and old age thing yet the way it is handled is so different- perhaps for the better because there is some accountable during the latter stage). and just keeping everything inside never telling anyone how you feel and somehow you're at the restaurant and on the run together (because healing is never linear and always messy). so in the end you have to strip yourself to the basics (your younger self and be a bit fearless and wild) to deal with emotions and life. everything comes out teenage petulance indeed.
#so yeah i am down to discuss this always#and if we want to put the hoax lens on both the albums (which yes) then it could be interpreted as how hoax is so vulnerable and upfront#about their grief (love traingle) yet if hypothetically say that they never told this to the people it is related to/ narrator is confused#about who it actually is about (multi-muses) then it is so evermore because there is a release from within (writing the song) but! they#will never confront it wholly- maybe because they dont want to/ they cannot physically and mentally#the latter becomes more adult theme because sometimes you have to let go without any closure
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Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍
#speculation nation#i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭#but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn...#see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts#but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing'#so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool#then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling#and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥#but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most.#the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling.#anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot#the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350#so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running#which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke.#i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment.#it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke.#and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting.#calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling.#it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now.#i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol#the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters.#so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most...#maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine...#😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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Lately I've been missing my family a bit and I have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted to die literally every day while sharing a house with them lmao like it's. Wild how easy that is to forget
#its....complicated#because i cant hold a grudge against anybody for long#and like. ive done a FUCKTON of soul searching and self analysis since then and i know i did things wrong too#and its. so so easy to just let all that blame and guilt fall on myself#but i cant do thar#because it *wasnt* all me. somebody doesnt try to kill themself multiple times jist for kicks there HAS to be a motovator#and yeah that was my mother lmao no two ways about it#but its...foggy. ive had almost 2 years without her and im losing some of the dread#which is good but at the same time. idk. i guess something something when you carry pain as a part of yoy for so long#its difficult to put it down#theres certain conversations i havent read since they happened but maybe i should just to remind myself#like...i left for a reason. i cut ties for a reason.#i need to remember that
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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i'm too mentally unwell for this (people shoving ragbros angst in my face at 10 am)
#diluc's voice going 'was it ever real?' </3 kaeya saying 'i was just a child' </3 and 'i would burn the fucking world down before i would#even think of betraying you' </3#i'm actually crying#whatever spell ragbros put on me when i first started playing genshin that shit has a grip on me#i just want them to hug so bad i need them to hug i need them to cry it out and laugh together#i need diluc's lighthearted personality to shine through at least once please please#being safe enough that your inner child shines through as a sign of healing is so!!!! good!!!! btw#actually i'm so freaking curious about kaeya's birthday this year#i am every year but now that he had that sort of reassurance during his hangouts that the winery will always be there for him#i want to know if he gets to spend a bit of his birthday there or get to at least eat adelinde's food#maybe this is irrealistic but i don't care let me dream#his message last year was about tcg i love tcg but not like this give me crumbs hoyoverse feed me#last year's art was so cute with all the presents (we had klee crumbs too kaeya and klee so precious to me) so i am hoping for something#equally or even more wholesome#anyways do you ever just think about kaeya and diluc?#yeah me neither 😂
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thinking more about hunger trying to re-possess pax again and -
#❪ ⋅ ✹ ⋆ —┊ ❛ v. what yet lingers [dragon age] ❜ ❫#❪ ⋅ ✹ ⋆ —┊ ❛ ooc. ❜ ❫#large image //#( this is its entire Motivation to repossess him or the desire to )#( like YEAH it thought it hated being trapped within )#( but no it hated the separation between. the distinction. )#( despite it being ‘their’ body )#( it wanted them to be One. it wants to be Him [pax]. its version of pax. a twisted monstrous version it has created. )#( to consume everything that is. to consume pax. for it to be their body. )#( HIS body. )#( pax only gets a little break after an exorcism is discovered & performed post - trespasser / pre - dav )#( hunger hunts him back down maybe during dav as a little ‘companion sidequest’ )#( it COULD have taken a humanoid form like hunger demons are able to do )#( it would have made it look like pax. but that’s not the same. it wants the body it had known for so long. )#( and it knows pax would never agree when it has no leverage against him )#( it knows him. knows he values the lives of others above himself. )#( that it can use his [ & mercy’s ] self - sacrificing tendencies against them )#( to get pax to allow them to be Whole in order to save the life of the host hunger possessed )#( but hhhhh )#( mercy’s purpose was to help provide and end to pax’s possession by hunger )#( pax being put in this situation goes against mercy’s purpose )#( but also letting hunger continue to possess the new host or kill the host goes against it too )#( unless one would be able to convince mercy that killing the host IS a mercy because they no longer have the means/time to perform an#exorcism . )#( needed to save them )#( if this all Fails pax will either relent and sacrifice himself by allowing hunger to possess him once more )#( or mercy is corrupted into a demon of ruthlessness and pax is lost either way )#( damn i need to stop putting the body of the post in the tags )#( iceberg ahoy )
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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I feel like much has been made about the fact that, if left unattended, Michael will put Adam on the pedestal God previously occupied and try to love him the same way, which makes things Worse for both of them. And not about Lucifer doing the same thing to Sam.
#they are similar situations but also. Different.#Michael’s trying to deal with his abandonment issues because that’s what God *left* him with#but for Lucifer. this is about rejection.#similar flavor but not the same#this is about him Making A Choice to love god first. and then being told his choice was wrong. that the way he loved was wrong.#and that it was so wrong that god would rather lock him up in hell and never lay eyes on him again than just let him be#WHICH! HUH! YEAH THAT MAYBE FUCKED HIM UP A BIT!#what I’m saying is that when this comes around again but with Sam this time. it’s not like Lucifer has learned a different love language.#he’s the same. he got locked up. he was in stasis. he did not grow. this is all he knows.#and the last time he told someone he chose to love them above everything else that got him burned.#so. Sam.#(oh god wait no it’s worse. Sam *has* thrown Lucifer in hell. and it wasn’t for *choosing* Sam but. wasn’t it. what’s the apocalypse if not#the worlds longest bloodiest courtship. Sam’s intentions ≠ how Lucifer received the message.)#what Lucifer wants is. somewhere to put that love. and he is primed for it & him to be thrown out.#I’m not sure where I’m going with this honestly but I think it would do him some good if he got to lay Sam down and worship him for a bit#and have that be allowed. welcomed even. but also. reciprocated. the reciprocation is key.#that’s key for midam & samifer. learning that love is something that is meant to be returned.#spn#lucifer spn#sam winchester#samifer#lucifer/sam winchester
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Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid
#the spades pirates in wano to save children... omg... deuce.... i have heard so much of you....#yamato complaining about how eveyrhing is his father's fault and ace getting violent...#it is so sad that in the end it was (partially maybe) his father's fault... if not roger then whitebeard..... maybe both#the hibiscus flowers..... rouge....#yamato telling ace he talks too much about luffy.... omg.....#NAMI TELLS TAMA LUFFY LOST ACE TOO!!! AND LUFFY CAME BACK TO WANO BC ACE SAID HE WOULD!!! OMG...... THE LINGERING.....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1014#pink haired samurai is still alive and kicking... hell yeah....#ODEN WAS THE SECOND COMMANDER FOR WHITEBEARD??? OMG???#whitebeard dealing with his rebellious son ace akshaksjak.....#ace wanting to save wano for his husband and child but wb wouldn't let him bc he is still caught up about his ex husband's death... complex#TEACH GO TO HELL!!! FUCK YOU!!! DIEEEE!!!!#they can't put luffy crying about ace dying here again.... tama feeling bad about yelling at luffy....#YAMATO KNOWS ABOUT THE D????#big mom wants robin.... i mean of course.... curious about pudding and her third eye.... we will meet again i guess...#PONEGLYPH!!!! kaido little borther to mom...... god valley.... rox.... i remember.... she gave him his power omg...#episode 1015#ace face down smiling after whitebeard beats him up reminded me of ace dead smiling. hell on earth this is my last straw. goodbye.#the animation <3 ace i love you <3 yamato you are great <3#omg... little ASL with the big pirates saying he will become pirate king omg...#PAUSE!! ACE HEARING GOOD THINGS ABOUT ROGER AND SAYING HE SOUNDS NICE THIS IS CRUCIAL TO MY ACE LORE OMG#yamato didnt say who it was... did ace really die not thinking his father was good this is my roman empire... critical hit to my brain#yamato made aces vivre card.... should i end it all for realsies this time....#his cunty skate boat 😭😭😭😭 i could cry#he really is looking like a beautiful dead wife this episode.... yamato......the vivre card omg..... NOT THE FLASHBACK ENOUGH#THE TRANAITION BETWEEN ACE FALLING OFF LUFFY AND HIM FALLING TO THE GROUND OMG AKFBSKDNDKSKLWKWNSKWK NOOOOOO#OH FINALLY THEY ARE ALL THERE TO FOGHT BIG MOM AND KAIDO!!! FUCK YEAAHHHHHH a good drag for the mugis for good measure#episode 1013
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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i am like wildly overestimating how well i could defend myself with like no self defense training with or without weapons on my person but id prefer that over thinking i cant like. build up enough strength to overpower someone or be scared to go to places alone
#personal#the effect true crime and women working out primarily to lose weight and not gain strength#and this weird notion of. not weird but inflated sense of fear? in women my age makes me unhappy#like you can lift mattresses or washers and dryers or idk other heavy stuff you just have to try lifting heavy stuff#you can be strong enough to match or at least put up a decent fight with that male friend boyfriend relative#like the amount of videos i see of women being like when you realize even at ur full strength you xyz can easily over power you#which is scary i get that but it’s not some crazy inevitably if you have xx chromosomes???????????#and maybe this comes from being quote unquote a big girl my whole life#like sure i’m not 5’10 but im a good height#and i’m hefty i got weight and like ED and body issues aside#i do like that i have a heft to me and you FEEL when i push back and i feel relatively safe bc i know i got weight and strength#but idk. i just#feel like to some degree resignation#like oh even the skinny lean guy will be naturally stronger than you it’s so scary#my ex was taller than me and worked out and i could easily hold his arms down just with mine#let alone if i used my body#like i lifted him on my shoulders and i pinned him i was the stronger partner just with our natural body types#and for some chicks yeah ur 4’11 and struggle to break 100 pounds naturally yeah yeah. ur kinda cooked genetically#but for a lot of chicks it’s like no i think ur boyfriend wouldn’t over power you without any resistance if idk#you gained weight and muscle mass?#again i’m probably overly estimating what i can do#and a tiny chick who actually does self defense training will handle herself way better than me#which also is just kinda the point. like it’s not some unavoidable fate that a ‘man’ is gonna be unquestionably stronger#and even if so doesn’t mean you can’t be a better fighter or better at getting away#idk tik toks and insta reels going through a lot of gender essentialism#like i believe any person with xy chromosomes are naturally inclined to rape and murder#ohh! so close the issue is an ingrained societal issue that was learned behavior and ur spouting terf rhetoric
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