#― incorrect quotes ！

[pjotwitter]

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian, under the table, whispering: Grayson!

Dick: *looks under the table*

Dick: Damian? I thought you ran away forever.

Damian: I got hungry.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Ghost: Just don't ever ask Soap to be your wingman, he's terrible Soap: Hey, it worked for you and Y/N didn't it? *flashback* Soap: Excuse me, Y/N? Simon needs someone to make out with *flashback ends* Y/N: I'm ashamed to say yeah it did

[skyrigel]

Freaks your honour

[hyakujuuou]

Kai and Skylor

[love-and-deepspace-incorrect]

Child Caleb tutoring a child MC: What's two plus two?

MC: Math.

Caleb: ...I will accept that answer.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Evan: There's no way he likes me back.

Regulus: Barty would throw himself in front of a moving train for you.

Evan: Barty would throw himself in front of a moving train for fun.

[cod-dump]

Graves in the bathroom: FUCK! NO!

Price: Phillip?

Graves: I can't be going grey! I'll lose my pretty boy privileges!

Nik: You will still be pretty.

Graves: Easy for you to say, Silver Fox. You'll be criminally attractive in your goddamn casket.

Price: It's natural--

Graves: Don't you start! You've got that whole grizzled mountain man thing in your future! Goddammit! *goes back into the bathroom*

Nik: I am out of ideas.

Price: I... yeah...

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: So, according to my university, it is, quote, "my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department".

Tim: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Tim: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Batman: Hm

Robin, grinning: that means he’s happy.

Tied up goon who’s spent the last two hours being chased and the last five being talked at by a twelve year old with no pants: Can you let me go?

Robin: I dunno let me check.

Robin: Hey B-man can we let this guy go?

Bruce: Hm.

Robin: He says no.

Bruce: Hmm.

Goon: What does that mean?

Robin, slow grin travels across his face: It means I can kick your ass.

[nanananananabatfam]

Whoever tagged this as #incorrect quotes is wrong. This is canon, I was the hamster

Dick on the phone, at 3 pm in the afternoon: Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Bruce, just woken up, squinting at the alarm clock: Dick it's 3 pm. what is this.

Dick, tearfully: My confession! I couldn't sleep, Bruce. I was the one who drove my hamster to suicide! I didn't feed him malt cookies like I was supposed to! He climbed on the exercise wheel and didn't stop running until he died.

Dick: *continues sobbing*

Bruce: okay so first of all.

Bruce: I'm not a priest.

Bruce: And second of all. Animals don't commit suicide.

Dick: Mari did!

Bruce: You named your male hamster after your mother...?

Dick: NOT THE POINT, BRUCE!

Dick: but yes.

Bruce, sighing: There's so much to unpack here I don't know where to start.

Dick: I killed him, Bruce. I should have died along with him!

Bruce:...

Bruce: It's possible that you've associated your hamster's death with the trauma of your parents' death, possibly because of shared names, and you've displaced your survivor's guilt from the first onto the second.

Dick:...

Dick: So what should I do.

Bruce: In my experience, the best way to deal with survivor's guilt is to save as many people as you can, possibly people in the same situation as the loved ones you have lost, hoping that the heroic nature of your deeds lets you sleep at night.

Dick: And what if that doesn't work?

Bruce: Then you drink. Get shitfaced drunk every time you feel a pang. Or you can pray to a nonexistent god and an uncaring universe.

Dick:...

Dick: If I come over, will you break out the good whiskey.

Bruce: I thought you'd never ask.

[love-and-deepspace-incorrect]

MC after discovering that Caleb was alive:

Zayne: What happened to Caleb?

MC: He died.

Zayne: He what?

MC: He died, but he's okay.

Zayne: …Can you please clarify?

MC: Clarification is for the weak.

[incorrectsterekquotes]

stiles: You're my hero! derek: All I did was catch your plate of chicken nuggets before it hit the floor. stiles: But you did it heroically.

[pjotwitter]