#^the ramblings of an insane man

[volatilemask]

so much to see

bonus doodle that didnt fit with the rest but i still thought was cute

[kaahmbem]

legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...

[lazylittledragon]

my absolute favourite genre of transphobic propaganda is when the caption is like “look at this poor, confused little girl who was forced to mutilate herself :(” and the picture is just the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life with a full beard and a body that would make thor weak at the knees

[thicdicdaddy27]

I’m ovulating

[bubbl3solution]

something about maui originally becoming a demigod after being tossed into the sea to die and being thrown into the ocean again as he turns back into a human, becoming mortal again but not for a second regretting his sacrifice. i need to sit down

[melit0n]

Some cryptid photos of Vessel (+ ii) that I've collected over the past week. The fact that almost all of them look like they came out of trail cam footage is absolutely sending me

[rosefires20]

My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.

Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.

To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.

The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.

The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.

Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.

Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.

[accala]

Zack Fair had:

A girl who spent 4 years pining after him to the point she chased an afterimage of him (Aerith)

A girl who looked after his parents and his hometown due to sheer guilt and devotion (Cissnei)

A boy who spent 4 years trying to find him after he went missing (Kunsel)

And a boy who adopted his entire being and became his legacy after his death (Cloud)

Zack Fair was NOT playing.

[friends2go]

the year is 2075. i own a house and have a family, maybe a couple of cats. i log onto my social media of choice and see yet another book about john lennon has been released. it too, includes a very gay quote about paul mccartney.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.

like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.

And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).

And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.

And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.

And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.

Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.

I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.

anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Painting is so hard sometimes man it's an unpredictable beast (yes I'm learning an old painting technique shush)

[iamespecter]

Got sent a little discord inside joke doodle I made a while back and now I am sharing it to the public

[constablequodo]

Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.

Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."

The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA

I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.

He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-

[myoonmii]

I keep thinking about Merlin’s love for Arthur and how it’s so clearly portrayed in the show to the point that it practically drives the plot of the show. However when it comes to Arthur’s love for Merlin it’s more subtle and sometimes difficult to even grasp, and I started thinking why that was, aside from the obvious fact that Arthur has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions affection or otherwise. I think it also lies in the fact that Merlin knows Arthur intrinsically throughout the show; he is one of the closest people to Arthur, and sees him for who he really is. Arthur admits as much.

Sure, Arthur knows Merlin but the main part of the plot is that he really doesn't know Merlin. Merlin wants him to desperately understand him and “see me for who I am” but he can't yet. And I think this subconsciously creates a barrier in the way in which Arthur can care for Merlin, and how Merlin can let himself be seen by Arthur.

Which is why I think he was also so hurt when the magic reveal happens because more than the betrayal of Merlin having magic, it was the betrayal of Merlin not letting Arthur see him for who he really is and for hiding a main part of himself. Arthur says it himself “why did you never tell me” that’s what hurt him the most.

I think the most damning piece of evidence for this is the fact that while we see snippets of Arthur’s feelings for Merlin thought the show, the biggest signs are in the last episode after the magic reveal; in which he finally gets to understand Merlin, and this time REALLY know Merlin, and as the barriers of what held them back from understanding each other truly fall away, Arthur evidently “falls in love with Merlin all over again”. We see him actually express himself to Merlin.

This is another reason why I think if anyone was ever to create another season of Merlin after Arthur’s return, it’s physically impossible not to make it about Merlin and Arthur acknowledging their feelings for each other. Because there is no way forward without them acknowledging how deeply they care for each other, obviously anyone is free to argue what kind of love that is, but its impossible not to see the deep love there either way.

They always knew they loved each other, just maybe never realising how much and what that means, because its almost second nature to everything that they do.

[k3n-dyll]

Y'know what, I really was trying to take a break from ranting about Arcane but shit keeps pissing me off and twitters format doesn't let a bitch rant like she wants to.

I'm sick and fucking tired of white queer people acting as if they're the only ones that are underrepresented in media. Like actually get a fucking grip on reality. I keep seeing people say that MelJay doesn't count as rep because "it's straight" as if that is not a direct representation of a dark skinned black woman being loved and cared for without needing to fight tooth and nail for it. As if that isn't an interracial couple that doesn't have a white person in it for fucking once. As if Jayce isn't a Latino coded man.

Straight white people have a fuck ton of representation, sure, but let's be fucking for real, out of all the people in the LGBTQ+ community that need more representation, white queer people are not at the top of the list. Y'all get most of it actually! Y'all have me on the internet fighting for my life about a straight ship because y'all can't stop for two fucking seconds to think about anyone that isn't fucking you!

"I think Mel is sapphic though!" - And a good chunk of the time the account has not shit about Mel on it. It's just a JayVik shipper using it as an excuse to completely shove her aside.

"She deserves better than a man"...they don't live in a patriarchy bookie. Jayce is not some misogynistic asshole from the real world, he's flawed for sure, but he's not treating Mel like she's inferior to him. He loves her and she does in fact deserve someone that loves her. If that person happens to be a man then so fucking be it. Not to mention...'she deserves better than a man' but you're ultimately using it as an excuse to...ship two men together? Oh okay...

EDIT: Real quick - I dont really wanna hear about how you 'just prefer gay ships' babe. I prefer sapphic ships. That doesn't take away from what I said. Actually, it just makes me feel like you're trying to deflect from the topic at hand rather than just listening and shutting the fuck up and I can't promise my reply to that is going to be particularly kind <3

[sergeanthatredbignaturals]

Guys Silco’s pupil literally changes shape over the course of the series

In act one it’s enlarged, nearly eclipsing that eyes smaller iris (see references here)

In act 2, it’s been eaten inwards at the sides, revealing more of his iris

It’s now all squiggly

Don’t ask how long i was looking at him to realise this, you don’t need to know