#i go insane about spirk

[constablequodo]

Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.

Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."

The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA

I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.

He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-

[bj-cuntycunt]

Kirk/Spock + Mirrored heart (FKA twigs)

[frogayyyy]

[wwillywonka]

SO!!! I FINALLY STARTED KILLING TIME AND UUUHH!!!! UUUUUUUHHHH!!!

[yellowpamonha]

ok so I found out that kirk was supposed to be in a scene in st2009, and I found the script and HOLY FUCK WHY COULDNT THEY MAKE IT HAPPEN SHATNER YOU ASSHOLE WHATS YOUR DEAL WITH CAMEOS

the scene is TOUCHING its TENDER it’s kirk saying “if there’s a destiny, we’ll be together on the bridge again” like????

do yourself a favor and read this if you havent, it’s heartbreaking and would’ve make spirk even more blatant, you can’t take out the tenderness of the message

and also… as there are ai softwares… someone should edit kirk saying this…

[bedforddanes75]

no because i cant get over this like did he buy the tshirt knowingly or did he just go Thats cool like i HAVE to know oh my god id say if i ever meet him ill ask but i Wont so whatever but no like george daniel star trek fan Confirmed Please please please

i NEED TO KNOW . if he did choose it intentionally though then he has good taste in episodes x

[not-equippedforthis]

sorry for the star trek spamming. it will happen again.

[sunshine-of-my-shoulder]

Misha Collins killed my dog

[apfelhalm]

I've watched "The city on the edge of forever" 3 times now and there's no denying it, this is my favourite episode, hands down.

[etherealspacejelly]

i know jack SHIT

about star trek

but what do you like about spirk and why

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE GONNA MAKE ME EXPLODE /POS

oh god where to start

its the fact that they are so perfect for each other for one thing. jim says in final frontier that he "always knew he would die alone." but edith keeler said in city on the edge of forever that spock belonged "at [jim's] side, as though you've always been there and always will". and its fucking TRUE. spock is Always at jims side, and hes like a lost puppy without him. he sees his lifes purpose as serving as jims second in command. he doesnt want command of his own. he "has a responsibility to [...] that man on the bridge". he is devoted to jim. loyal to a fault.

and jim Needs that. he needs that stability. people in his life come and go. he has so much responsibility as captain, 400 lives depending on his every decision. he needs his unflappable second in command to keep him steady, keep him focused.

spock sees jim as the most important thing in the universe. he throws himself in harms way time and time again to save him. he jumps in front of the poisonous flower in the apple, he launches himself into v'ger in the motion picture, in (im pretty sure) requiem for methuselah he insists on going into a dangerous room first.

BUT jim also sees spock as the most important thing in the universe. SOURCE: THE ENTIRE MOVIE THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK. he is literally willing to sacrifice his life, his career, his crew, and his ship to save spock. "the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many" HE NEEDED SPOCK. HE NEEDED HIM BACK SO BAD HE BLEW UP THE FUCKING ENTERPRISE TO DO IT.

but its more than that. its the casual little intimacies of their relationship. its the way they reach out to touch one another when they're scared or worried or happy. its the prolonged eyecontact, the longing stares, the lighthearted teasing. its playing chess in the rec room, and despite spock being a creature of pure logic, jim winning 50% of their games.

its all of this:

THEY MAKE ME INSANE RAAHHHHH

[kelvintimeline]

i do think its funny to see all the sasunarus in the poll tags going OMG WE'RE LOSING??? HOW?? it's like... listen... my entire LIFE was shaped by sasunaru... i have shipped it for at least 15 years but...

spirk got girlies in the fucking 60s going apeshit for the idea of a man and an alien fucking. how can you read this:

and think there's competition. this woman wrote a FORTY page, SINGLE SPACED novel about spirk BEFORE WE LANDED ON THE FUCKING MOON... just banging this out on a fucking typewriter

just to show her friends!! she was rawdogging that fanfiction, no ff.net, no aff.net, no ao3! she went so insane she wrote 40 pages just for own friends to teehee about. we only know about it because spirk drove SO MANY other people insane, it was passed friend group to friend group across the COUNTRY just to be published in a zine without her consent... in 1987. this fic lasted in private, yet intense, celebration... for 19 years.

do you understand the type of RAVENOUS people had to be to have NO FUCKING INTERNET and keep a fic circulating for two decades???

i love sasunaru. no ship can match their... everything. but in terms of like... sheer contact-high insanity, spirk is on another level.

like spirk was driving people insane 13 whole years before the movie came out where spock died trying to press his hand against kirk's... some of the best spirk content had yet to come... and yet the girls went wild... truly wild already

sasunaru i love you but... like... spirk has lasted entire lifetimes. sasunaru has taken over half of my life... and yet we all know there is a woman in some retirement home remembering jerking off to a spirk fanzine before half of america even knew gay people existed. it's not the same.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Hi. I saw this post asking for a fic that changed one's brain chemistry. Now there are a lot of fics I like; over 2000 bookmarked on ao3. And a lot of fics I love; I have 400+ of those fics tagged 'fave'. Of those 400, there are only around two dozen I would say legitimately changed me as a person. 1% changed the way I saw relationships and the world, changed the way I read and write. And I couldn't narrow it down to one - or ten - and didn't want to dump in OP's tags. So have this list of fics that permanently changed who I am as a person.

Warning: I love long fics, and some of these are the same specific tropes that I love or that really affect me personally (ex. arranged marriage). Expect angst, and especially angst with a happy ending. That said these fics are all objectively amazing.

(sorry to people who don't like long fics, but we are simply not the same. and that's OK.)

listed in order of fandom, then length.

Banshee In A Well - 43k, complete, DC, Tim Drake. Childhood trauma, childhood trauma, came back wrong/can't stop coming back! Tim is a little FREAK and I luv him.

straight on 'til morning - 102k, complete, DC, timkon/Kon-El. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly.

variations on a theme - 5k, complete, MCU, ironstrange. This is one of the fics that made me truly love ironstrange. Stephen sees through millions of possibilities and in doing so, falls in love with Tony. Evocative, beautiful, succinct.

The Art of Losing - 33k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. This fic made me cry. This fic BROKE MY HEART. And I WENT BACK TO IT. Multiple times! This is a breakup fic that breaks you down then puts you back together. You will come out different, and only you can say if it's for the worse or the better.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) - 65k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. There are so many firstprince fics that essentially translate the events of the book into a different setting. And I love all of them. (My own fic, then fucking have me, also does this, self plug self plug self plug). I had to narrow this selection down to just one, and this is probably my absolute favorite.

You Don't Have To (Say Yes) - 192k, complete, Star Trek, spirk/Jim Kirk. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, again).

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS - 262k, complete, Star Trek, spirk. Star Trek arranged marriage epistolary fic. I read this 4 years ago, and I STILL think of a line from this fic constantly (we're aligned, we're aligned, we're aligned). If you don't read anything else for the rest of your life, read this.

DON'T THE WAVES PULL THE SAND? DON'T THE MOON PULL THE TIDES? - 58k, complete, Star Wars, finnpoe. I don't even go here. And yet. And yet. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, AGAIN).

Not Part of the Plan - SERIES, 8 works, 337k, complete. Supernatural, destiel. This is an arranged marriage fic au series, that started with a oneshot pwp, and somehow grew into a sprawling, world and character building EPIC. And that to me is always a marker of quality. You KNOW it's good if the author couldn't stop themselves.

wander your own land - 379k, incomplete, Yellowjackets, shaunajackie and others. I told you I like long fics. Girl survival situationships, cannibalism, jealousy, cabin fever, hallucinations, trying to keep a fucking baby alive in some of the worst possible circumstances.

Infinite Variations of a Summer Day - 76k, complete, X-Men, Pietro Maximoff. I love Pietro, he is one of my favorite characters of all time, and this is such a great character fic. See Pietro slowly driven insane in a time loop that examines his relationships with himself, his team, his family, and his powers.

drop your own recs in the notes. and if you have any suggestions for griddlehark/the locked tomb, pLEA- *gunshots*

[risingchaos]

In episode nineteen of season three of Star Trek: The Original Series, Requiem for Methuselah, our main three go down to a planet to find a cure for an epidemic on the Enterprise. They run into a man named Flint, who takes them back to his home and offers help. While there, Kirk falls in love with a woman, Rayna, who turns out to be an android. She was designed to be a lover for her creator, Flint, and when she finds out she’s an android while Flint is threatening the triumvirate, she’s so torn between her love for creator and her love for Kirk that she actually dies. Obviously there’s a lot more to the episode but that’s the basics. There’s a few bits in here I think about a lot.

At the end, after Rayna dies, Spock says this after some dialogue.

Spock: The joys of love made her human, and the agonies of love destroyed her.

Fucking insane quote to have, especially from Spock. Near the start of this episode, Bones had offered Kirk brandy and half offered it to Spock with his normal “Spock hates fun” jabs, but Spock took him up on it and even opened up about how he was experiencing a new emotion. Envy. Envy of the man’s house they were in, which contained a lot of originals never seen before from a variety of famous artists.

Now, Spock saying that alone in the same episode where it was clear we had a teeny focus on Spock’s emotive capabilities was so great. We love a glimpse into the odd mind of our resident Vulcan, but it gets better. Spirk shippers, listen up.

Just before they find out Rayna is an android, they were about to travel into an unknown part of the complex they were in to retrieve said cure that had been hidden in there. Before entering, Spock steps in front of Kirk, saying he should go in alone as it might be dangerous. Obviously Kirk puts up a bit of a fight, and McCoy jumps in, pressuring Spock into letting all three of them go. He relents, and they go in.

Again, maybe not the most impactful on its own, but it’s a very important thing. Spock wanted to protect specifically Kirk from whatever danger might lie within. We later know this is because Spock wanted to hide Kirk from finding out Rayna is an android, but still. It’s insane.

At the very end, right before credits, Spock goes to Kirk’s room where the man in question is mourning the loss of Rayna. He compares himself to Flint very despondently.

Kirk: Very old, and lonely man. And a young, and lonely man. We put on a pretty poor show there, didn’t we? If only I could forget..

He puts his head down on the desk just before McCoy walks in. McCoy makes a comment about Kirk finally sleeping, tells Spock that everything is alright on the ship, then drops this absolutely insane paragraph.

McCoy: You wouldn’t understand [love], would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do [Kirk], because you’ll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All of these things you’ll never know, simply because the word love isn’t written into your book. Goodnight, Spock.

Spock: Goodnight, Doctor.

McCoy: I do wish [Kirk] could forget her.

McCoy then exits, leaving Spock staring at the asleep form of his captain. Spock approaches, quiet, and leans down. He gently placed his fingers on Kirk’s face, and whispers something right before credits roll.

Spock: Forget.

Spock, out of love for His Captain, grants his wish and uses his abilities to help him forget what had happened.

Spock loves Kirk. I don’t know how anyone denies this.

[its-your-mind]

so yes, orv did permanently and fundamentally shift my personal perspective of the world, specifically my role in it as a storyteller and an observer and a friend and a mentor and a child and an adult and a victim and someone in power and and and. it also made me feel the broadest spectrum of human emotion. I could probably spend years thinking about it and never fully understand everything it made me feel and all the personal and philosophical thoughts it made me think.

unfortunately if I think about it too hard for too long I find myself teetering on the cliff’s edge of a depressive episode and have to shut my media-analysis brain down so I don’t fall back into that particular black hole. after I finished it my brain fully shut down and did not come fully back online for 3-4 months I shit you not I finished it in October of last year and my emotional state has only just recovered.

it was one of the most devastating endings to a book I’ve ever read. It was perfect and beautiful. It was whatever the opposite of catharsis is. I’ve never been more filled with hope and awe. I’ve never been so desperately sad and hopeless. no I am not able to comprehend how that works either. see what I said above re: the cliff’s edge.

see the thing is it would have been FINE if shing-song had fucking WARNED ME that they were gonna make me FEEL EVERYTHING EVER about the human experience from EVERY ANGLE and then RIP OFF A SHEET AND REVEAL THAT THE STORY WAS A FUCKING MIRROR THIS WHOLE TIME. AND PROCEEDED TO BEAM ALL MY ATTENTION AND LOVE AND EMOTION I POURED INTO THIS STORY OVER A PERIOD OF LITERAL WEEKS OF SUSTAINED FOCUS STRAIGHT BACK AT ME IN THE SPAN OF 0.2 SECONDS LIKE A FUCKING ARCHIMEDES LASER.

ahem. anyways. that would be the uh. cliff’s edge. we will be walking away from it now.

anyway it’s the book with the two trench coat Korean dudes who beat Inventers-Of-Yaoi Spirk in the Yaoi Tournament Bracket it has badass ladies AND cringefail ones AND transgender allegories AND giant monsters and gods and demons and kids and magic and space and dimensions and time shenanigans it’s fucking insane and incredible and if you’re the kinda person who exists on fandom tumblr in the year of our lord 2024 this book is meant to come for you specifically and you will thank it afterwards go ye forth

[mongeese]

Rewatched TMP and got so emotional about it that I wrote a 2.6k word spirk fanfic in one sitting. It's 2AM. I have a huge pile of dirty dishes in my kitchen that I was going to do. Before this I hadn't finished a fanfic in nearly 2 years. I'm going insane and frankly it feels great

[affixjoy]

I’ve been trying to bookmark the fics that I like more often so I can actually remember where to find things, but I like the idea of talking about them here more too. I’ve been blown away by the talent and creativity in this fandom and I want to shout it from the rooftops!

With that in mind, here are some Spirk fics that I’ve loved lately!

Time After Time by spaceisgay (ChancellorGriffin)

Summary:

Sam Kirk’s younger brother James is posted to the Enterprise on a six-month rotation. Spock, preoccupied with thoughts of his sister, regards this as an unique opportunity to study another pair of adult siblings in their natural habitat.

That is very much not what happens.

My thoughts: guys I feel absolutely insane about this one. It’s just so, so good. It was one of the first Spirk fics I read when I started getting into it a few months ago, and I just reread it last week because I wanted to know if it was as good as I remembered. It very much is!!!

Highlights: sibling feelings, horny mind melds, THE DINNER TABLE SCENE, dungeons and dragons.

Entering Orbit by museaway

SUMMARY:

Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch.

My thoughts: this was great to read after watching Star Trek (2009) a few weeks ago. I don’t love the Abrams movies but there is some really spectacular fic out there for them that almost makes up for it.

Highlights: Bartender Jim and cooking for each other.

Not in Front of the Klingons by @android-and-ale

Summary: Our beloved Old Married Spirk have been sent off on yet another diplomatic mission. They’re an (in)famous presence in Federation politics, so really, everyone should know what to expect from them. If you bug their rooms you deserve what you see and hear.

Enjoy canon level “diplomacy,” the eternal mediocrity of conference centers, and lighthearted middle aged sex.

My thoughts: this is DELIGHTFUL and I adore it. Old married Spirk has become one of my favorite things to read lately and this nails it.

Highlights: the way they banter and laugh during sex. They’re so comfortable and happy together, it’s lovely.

The recitation of names by Moreta1848@jennelikejennay

Summary:

Two hundred crew members died in the attack on the USS Farragut by a sentient cloud creature. Now the ship has to limp home with traumatized survivors and a borrowed crew. Lieutenant James T. Kirk is doing the worst of anyone, but he won't admit why and doesn't want help.

One of the borrowed crew is Lieutenant Commander Spock. He feels a strange magnetism toward the troubled lieutenant, but the chain of command and his duty to the ship must always come first.

My thoughts: I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the idea of the recitation of names. It’s a beautiful way to grieve, and having Kirk and Spock do it together here is such a moving way for them to get to know each other.

Highlights: unplanned roommates, a lot of feelings about therapy/healing, just a lot of FEELINGS.

the yeomen of the garden (and laundry) by @cicaklah

Summary:

“So you and El-Tee Kirk?” Greig said as Spock came to collect his clothing again after yet another incident. “Is something going on there?”

Spock just blinks. “Which Kirk brother are you referring to?”

Greig shrugs. “I didn’t know there was more than one of them.”

Spock nods. “I am not in a relationship with Sam Kirk, if that is what you are asking.”

Greig gives him the finger-phasers. “Oh cool, cool, that's what I thought. Sweet. Tell your buddy to get better okay? His chest must be so raw after everything he’s been through to damage so many tops.”

My thoughts: this whole series has been a blast to read, but this is probably the one that has stuck in my head the most. There’s something about seeing what other people are up to on The Enterprise that hits me in the right way, and I love the laundry guy here.

Highlights: the garden, laundry workers having all the best gossip

K'diwa: A Steamy Novel of Interspecies Romance, by Jim Kirk by branwyn

Summary:

Jim wrote a romance novel just to prove he could. Then someone leaked it on the public Starfleet server, and suddenly his embarrassingly smutty and sentimental Human/Vulcan love story is all over campus. Luckily for Jim, no one knows that he’s the author. Unluckily for Jim, someone forwarded the novel to the staff of the Vulcan embassy. Now, every Vulcan in San Francisco is reassessing the logical merits of taking Human bondmates.

Spock reads a Human/Vulcan romance novel because he can hardly avoid it. Suddenly, he is consumed by the need to locate the author, ascertain their wellbeing, and instruct them in the way of Vulcan mating bonds. Luckily for Spock, it doesn't take long to identify the author as Jim Kirk. Unluckily for Spock, Jim is unconscious and surrounded by interested Vulcans who also read the book.

My thoughts: this was so fun to read! I love Jim writing a romance novel, I love how they set up all his friends at the Academy, and I love Spock falling in love with him through reading his work.

Highlights: all the Vulcan culture stuff was interesting, and I really love Gaila in this one.