#??? what did she expect was gonna happen???
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adobe-outdesign · 4 months ago
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Baelia's attempt at self-sacrifice in the current Void Within comic cracks me up because she's literally accomplishing nothing by standing in front of the paint other than endangering herself
No one:
Baelia: OH FUCK I HAVE TO SAVE MY FRIENDS (runs directly into oncoming traffic)
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ganondoodle · 2 months ago
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 16 days ago
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With the reveal of Abel now outside of leaks, unless people are right about the crackship idea that Lucifer knocked/got knocked up by Adam and is the secret father, I feel like the implication is that Eve is white.
Lilith, Adam, Eve, Abel and Lucifer are all white. All of the first humans are white. All of the royals are white, all of the people in power are white. Excluding a few characters, like Sara and Emily(who are still gray, and not black btw), almost the entire governing systems are white people.
I don't understand why Viv acts like her being Latina is the reason people don't like her work, or that hating on a successful Latina woman is all anyone is ever doing, when her representation is terrible???
I'm not special for saying this, cuz this has been a problem since day one and plenty of people complain about it. But every brown/black isn't ya know.......BROWN. Velvette is the only character I can think of thats actually black.
Alastor, Val, Vaggie, Carmilla are all either gray or purple. And Alastor doesn't even have a good excuse like Val or Vaggie have with being bugs. Deer are usually brown anyway, and he's the most humanoid of all the furry characters so him having a more human skin tone wouldn't be that odd of a design choice.
I'm probably missing some other characters because Viv is awful at conveying that a character isn't white. Husk doesn't count, he's only black because Keith David is playing him, he was never intentionally written to be black. (And neither was Alastor so, ¯\_(:/)_/¯) Niffty is only Asian because her pilot VA could speak Japanese, and Viv was like "yeah sure, whatever. she can be Japanese" without any further thought being put into what that could mean for her character. Vassago may or may not have been originally intended to be Latino, idk, but again he's still being played by a irl Latino so it could just be the same problem with Husk.
There's nothing necessarily wrong with the first humans all being white, but there's also nothing wrong with stopping to ask yourself "Why is it that my first instinct is to make Adam and Eve white? Is it my own bias? Is it because this is what society pushes as biblical canon?"
Almost everyone has racist or uncomfortable biases. It's normal when you live in a racist society. You grow up hearing things or absorbing information from your peers and the people around you. The best way to avoid that, is to sincerely question and understand why you feel and think the way that you do. Asking, "Why is it that when I want to convey that this character is evil and scary, my first instinct is to use symbols and words from a foreign religion? Is it because I'm genuinely interested in this religion, and want to explore it? Or is it because I've been taught to think that foreign cultures, especially black cultures, are inherently more scary and monstrous?" Is how you actually figure out if what you're doing is something to be concerned over, and if it's something that's hurtful or mean and thus should be corrected.
But Viv doesn't ask these questions. She uses being Latina to deflect her racism, or claim that people engaging with her art in a way she doesn't like is just them being the racist ones.
(Or homophobia, or hating SA victims, or just being mean to her for no reason. And I get it to a certain extent. She's been dealing with anti's and people fucking with her over being a furry FOR AWHILE NOW LMAO. Sometimes its hard to tell when something is a REAL genuine critique or complaint, and who's just bitching again because they can't handle a pop song about SA, or a bathtub of snakes, or the fact that valangel exists at all. Some people are out to be actually fucking awful for no real reason, but she tends to lump everyone who doesn't like her work as the same when thats not the case. People are also stupid, and genuinely in their very, very dumb hearts think that Snakes In A Bathtub is on the same level as like, racist appropriation and will treat Both with the same Severity because they're stupid)
She panics, and doubles down instead of actually thinking about what she's doing. "Uh, uh, uh, HE'S ACTUALLY MIXED. SO ITS FINE." Isn't helpful. That wasn't the problem. She treats race like its a toy that she doesn't even want to use. There's no sincerity behind anyones design or backstories. It's literally not relevant to her.
Anyway, rant tim. Viv needs therapy. She's definitely too mentally ill and immature to be handling this shit on her own. She is in soooo far over her head and it not only results in a bad show, but probably isn't good for her either.
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hauntingblue · 2 months ago
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
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MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
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#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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licorishh · 3 months ago
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WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS
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WHAT IN THE FLYING FREAKING FRICKIN' EVERLOVING CRAP IS THIS, ACTUALLY
#genshin impact#neuvia#navillette#IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT'S THE DADGUM PRIDE AND PREJUDICE MOVIE ON THE RIGHT#WHAT IN THE EVERYTHING IS THIS FRAMING#YOU EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS??? REALLY???? SERIOUSLY??????? HONESTLY?????????? GENUINELY??????????????? HELLO?????????????????????#chewing the concrete clawing at the drywall shaking the bars of my enclosure#for some extra context the scene in genshin is when they're finally making their peace after being at odds for a while#navia apologizes for misjudging him and he explains that her father's death actually taught him a huge lesson about human determination#and gave him a deeper understanding of the whole concept of justice (something neuvillette values very much)#and the scene in pride and prejudice IS WHEN DARCY FIRST TELLS ELIZABETH HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER??? EXCUSE ME???????#LIKE I'M NOT GONNA SAY FOR A SECOND THAT THAT HAPPENED IN GENSHIN BECAUSE IT VERY MUCH DID NOT (REGRETTABLY)#BUT THE FRAMING?? IS EXACTLY THE SAME??? AND IT'S EVEN RAINING?????#BECAUSE NEUVILLETTE IS SAD??? BECAUSE HE'S THE HYDRO DRAGON??? AND IT RAINS WHEN HE'S SAD??????#I'M??????????????????#AND THE FACT THAT IN THIS SCENE IN THE MOVIE DARCY AND ELIZABETH ARE STILL AT ODDS AND HAVEN'T MADE UP YET??????#THE FREAKING PARALLELS??????? I'M GONNA CHOKE??????????????#this and the obscenely soft look he has when she wakes up after he saves her before she falls in the primordial sea uuuugggghhhh.#that was. so unbelievably unnecessary. genuinely what was the reason.#if you're not gonna canonize a single ship in the game then why would you freaking bother. why would you do that. why. ANSWER ME DOGGONE IT#can't. cannot.#navia#neuvillette#“kill the part of you that cringes” i whisper as i convince myself to post this and not leave it in my stack of *checks notes* 170 drafts
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hassianlovebot · 1 year ago
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like on one hand i understand why people don't like subira at first, but i'm also getting tired of seeing people shit on her without actually getting to know her. and i know how that sounds, but she's literally fine. like yes death to cops but the in game order lady isn't the evil witch come to kill zeki and reth that everyone thinks she is. and they would know that,, if they did her quests,, or at least spoiled themselves and looked at the wiki,,,
it's getting embarrassing honestly
#spoilers#like Please just look at the wiki aldghlj#like trust me i understand the initial hate cause i didnt trust or like her at first either#but then i looked at the wiki to see what was going to happen#and realized it wasnt that bad#and then i did the quests and realized she's literally fine#like the order absolutely still sucks imo but she's fine#seeing hate when she first came out was chill and expected#seeing hate now after people have had every chance to get to know her and the quests is just embarrassing#if you dont want to see spoilers then dont keep reading these tags#but she Literally says that she doesnt hate zeki and that he's just being controlled and manipulated by the cartel#which he is!! that's literally what he tells us!!#she literally says that at most he would just have to pay a fine like my guys#and she doesn't know about reth at all#and by her lvl4 quest she doesnt trust the order as much and starts to doubt them#LIKE#she's not even evil! she genuinely believed in the order's mission but she changes her mind once she's presented with them being assholes#and again she's not even trying to hurt zeki or get him in trouble!! he's gonna pay a fine at most!! that's all!!!#and from what we have seen from her i genuinely don't believe that she would be against reth#she would absolutely feel bad and it could even end up being her wake up call to how the order's mission isnt good#and people would know that if they took the time to read her wiki or do her quests#but instead they make bad jokes about 'how dare people like the hot older lady who ends up being really nice and caring grrrrr'#like ajhdgljdag#begging you guys to just read the fucking wiki dude#its not really spoilers if you have no intent to actually do her quests#it gives the same vibes as when people say that reth is super boring and just the dumb cook because they havent gotten to know him#like this whole game is about lore and secrets and characters not being what they seem#im not saying people Have to like her but i am saying you look silly when you hate on her without doing her quests#yeah the devs actually just told me you can only hate her or make jokes about hating her After you complete all her quests#sorry guys :/
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faaun · 5 months ago
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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dirtytransmasc · 1 year ago
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I'm sorry but the moment Alicent decided to obey her father she knew what was going to happen she knew she would have to have sex with him and have heirs. It's the only reason viserys remarried
"decided"????
what else was she meant to do? this was a day and age where women, especially young girls were controlled by their fathers, to some if not a great extent until they were married off (children of nobles typically betrothed for political reasons not love, these betrothals arranged by their fathers to whoever they pleased and saw fit, no matter what it could mean for the daughter). was she supposed to say no? was she supposed to disobey? what could have happened to her if she did? there was no point in which she could say no, when she could disagree. she was a girl, a child, all she could do was bite her tongue and pray for a miracle, pray for Viserys to not take to her, that at the very least he would wait to get her pregnant (the fact a 14 year old had to worry about that is sickening)
she was 14, she was grieving Aemma and reliving the pain of the loss of her mother, her father gave her an order, though disguised as a suggestion, one she could not deny. it didn't mean she wanted to, it didn't mean she wanted him to marry her, it doesn't mean she would have been forced to bear heirs as a child herself (especially because Aemma died because Viserys tried to get her pregnant to young and cause long lasting health issues that eventually lead to her fatal pregnancy), it doesn't mean she wanted any of it. but she didn't have any other choice, she didn't have a choice when her father sent her to his chambers, when Viserys claimed her hand, when Viserys assumed her consent and raped her in their marital bed, when she bore multiple children before she was 18, when she had to take care of him in his illness, when she had to practically rule in his stead. women didn't have choices at the time, nine of it was s choice she could have said no to, she just had to take it, all of it, cause her father told her to and it's her duty to obey him, and then Viserys married her and it was her duty to serve him.
y'all are so quick to blame a CHILD for the actions of her father and the king himself and forgetting the time and place she was in. nothing she could have done would have spared her fate, if not bringing her a worse one.
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emmodii-mode · 1 year ago
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Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).
I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-
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Her face before she flies off---
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She looks so heartbroken and sad.
#emmodii rambles#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate series#lae'zel#spoilers#i don't regret my choices and i do love a good angsty story. but at the same time... OOF.#may you find a new source of joy in the astral realm my queen :'(#for anyone curious- i played a githyanki which i heard is the only race that can fly off with her or something?#but well. again- didn't quite fit my character to have someone else turn instead pfffft#ALSO HE'S A CLERIC OF ILMATER AND A REDEEMED DARK URGE. self-sacrifice is kiNDA TO BE EXPECTED HAHAHA.#anyway- do give romancing lae'zel a shot guys. she may be a hardass at first but it's really because she cares a lot#also slightly off-topic but as a dark urge gith... durge grew up in a city so like. wonder how out of place they woulda felt with the#other githyankis anyway. i think i read somewhere that a gith durge realises they don't really feel connected to creches and stuff#which is interesting and makes me curious about how exactly they were made. cuz they have the traits and knowledge of the race but didn't#grow up with them. i guess the easiest answer would be 'god magic shenanigans' but STILL.#trust me to overthink things hahaha XD#if anyone's curious what happened to my guy in the end--- we followed wyll and karlach to avernus hahaha#what are the devils gonna do? steal the soul we don't have?? TRY IT BITCH#of course i did reload multiple times to have my character kill himself. because that was another option that felt possible for his charact#...and also because i wanted to see how companions would react to it. krewfjewlkrjewklrjewl- although the narration for durge suicide#is also quite interesting! of course maybe that's just me being mentally ill eff (/lh) but having a kill that isn't going to murder daddy?#gives a redeemed durge some control and a final say at last. which is still sad but a nice way to tie up their death methinks#ANYWAY- time to go find a way to convert him into a full-on OC. elves and dwarves are one thing but giths are blatantly dnd so i'mma have#to figure that out for my own story lore and universe--- some kinda new species? humanify him? or convert to another existing general speci#hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmm-#emmodii plays bg3
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anarkhebringer · 2 months ago
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I woke up to this and am really thinking about this
#this guy proudly proclaims being an ''extremely progressive bisexual interested in expanding democracy & ending poverty''#how progressive and effective in ending poverty by ranting about helping OTHER countries when natural disasters destroyed all the resources#what do I expect from someone that brings up democracy unironically though#when these people realize you gotta make change for your OWN place of living first if you wanna have this mindset I will know peace#sounds like my damn mother if she wasn't racist you gotta choose something to put work into and stop fretting over the whole world#yeah it fucking sucks and needs to be addressed but what are you gonna do by bitching on a fascist social media site?#you're not ending world hunger by ignoring the very people you spout performative nonsense in the name of#you may be a POC too sir but in the end you are also American you're not immune to what the Residue(tm) did to POC here#sue me for saying I don't really keep up with most politics because I can't vote or anything but fuck even I know this shit#care about politics and changing lives? do something to make that happen because bitching ion the internet isn't changing anything#I'm not even fucking mad I'm just in AWE because I've NEVER encountered one of these people responding to ME before#I'm speechless yet have so much to say because I got this reminder that this really isn't deemed common sense like it is to me#this is my most popular tweet too and it's a damn political reply I'm kinda pissed at that though dhyuigbfuyh#EDIT I JUST REALIZED THAT HE'S NOT EVEN GOT ANY AUTHORITY TO SPEAK ON THIS SHIT BECAUSE HE'S 4TH GEN ARLINGTONIAN#say to my Native ass that the fascist regime should collapse by destroying the whole country to help the reservations boy#you're throwing yourself into the gringo corner of your own volition this is too funny
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prismatic-starstuff · 1 year ago
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*blows a kiss somewhere in the general direction of the sky, and therefore space*
For HAL
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ettadunham · 2 months ago
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idk who needs to hear this other than kaos netflix, but licensing a song to play every 5 minutes in your tv show does not make up for actually writing some scenes. also, there's almost always a better way to do exposition than through narration, unless you have a clear purpose and/or do it sparingly enough.
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wildevenusian · 4 months ago
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(​it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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girlcrushau · 10 months ago
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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i dont think i could ever compete on a season big brother if i feel this bad just watching one
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lindensea · 1 year ago
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Watched Porco Rosso for the first time last night, and was really surprised at how sexist and "made by a man" it was? I can't recall ever watching a studio ghibli movie and thinking that before. It wasn't even that the female characters were written poorly because for the most part they weren't. But all the men were constantly commenting on women's appearance and bodies, hitting on a 17 yr old, there are weird shots and lines, and the female characters' plots exist for Porco Rosso's
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