#“kill the part of you that cringes” i whisper as i convince myself to post this and not leave it in my stack of *checks notes* 170 drafts

[licorishh]

WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS

WHAT IN THE FLYING FREAKING FRICKIN' EVERLOVING CRAP IS THIS, ACTUALLY

[yesimwriting]

To Be Alone

VAGUE SPOILER WARNING FOR SHADOW AND BONE BOOK SERIES-- I try hard not to mention why the Darkling/General Kirigan is the bad guy so that I don’t spoil anything,, but the reader finds out that he lies about his identity and that he’s super sketchy/not a good guy (again,, I avoided as many specifics as possible to keep it from being spoiler-y)

Warnings: lowkey manipulation, kissing/makeout, slight fingering

A/n y’all drove me to this lol,, pls be nice!! This is the closest to full on smut I’ve ever written!! Ahh I’m lowkey scared to post

Summary: the reader finds out something about the Darkling/General Kirigan, he finds a way to convince her to stay 

--

No amount of evidence will ever be enough to convince me fully. A part of me will always hold onto unjustifiable doubt because a part of me hopes that if I hold onto the lies tight enough they’ll turn into the truth. But that’s not how the world works. 

General Kirigan. Ravka put its faith in him. I put my faith in him. I did more than that. I pushed aside my reservations and doubt in order to try and comfort him when he spoke of loneliness. Was all that a lie as well? 

No. I can’t afford to think of the emotional side of it all, because if I do I may find myself incapable of moving from this spot. I don’t have time to reflect on it all, to try and unravel hopeful lies and manipulative truths. That can be done when I’m not here. If I stay here, he’ll know I know and he’ll stop me from...what? What am I supposed to do next? I could find someone with some level of power to warn. 

“There you are.” Kirigan. I’m turned towards the window, not facing him, but there is no weariness or malice in his voice. He has no reason to suspect my suspicion. “Are you unwell?” 

Calm. I need to pass as calm. Not turning, I force myself to ignore the endearing hint of concern in his voice. “No.” I can hear his measured footsteps. “Why would you think that?” 

“I haven’t seen you all day,” he’s directly behind me now. If I turn, I’ll practically be against his chest. “And you didn’t come see me last night.” 

Oh. I knew it was a mistake to begin to pull on such a small thread so close to when he expected to see me, but it kept gnawing on me. That doubt. That tiny thing I couldn’t ever let go off. “I fell asleep.” No--I cringe at my impulsive response. He knows how difficult it is for me to fall asleep. “Yesterday was just really...draining.” 

In an easy movement, he places his hand on my shoulder. It’s a silent request for me to turn. Exhaling, I obey. Why? I could lie to myself and say that I’m listening to him in order to kill his suspicions, but the effect he has on me is undeniable. Even before touching each other became a casual thing on his part, my body wanted to react to him. 

He’s quick to cup my face, tilting my chin up slightly so that I can’t avoid his gaze. “What troubles you, little dove?” A nickname for when he’s feeling particularly gentle. Thoughts of the evil he has to be twist my stomach as my face flushes. Kirigan’s thumb brushes over the corner of my bottom lip, stalling as I fight the urge to melt into the contact. I meet his tense gaze cautiously. “You said nothing could make you look at me differently.” No. There’s no way he figured out my change with one look alone. I’ll deny it. I’ll do what I need to do to be convincing, and then I’ll manage to escape. His grip on my shoulder tightens. “Don’t you dare lie to me again.” 

The urge to snap and point out the sick irony of him telling me not to lie at him almost forces me to break. His gaze starts to shift away from me--towards the half packed escape bag I’d been in the middle of constructing. I stretch my arms forward, desperate to keep his gaze on me and away from what I can’t explain. 

Kirigan’s free hand moves to pull my hand off of his cheek, but he pauses, eyes shutting in peaceful contentment. “What do you know?” 

I expected his words to be angry, to border on violent...but he just sounds tired. Please, Saints, let me be wrong. “Is there anything to know?” The only reaction I get is the slightest stall of his breathing. “You said you didn’t want to be alone anymo--” 

“I don’t.” The harshness of his words almost coax a small flinch from me. 

Swallowing back the knot in my stomach, I exhale slowly. “A part of not being alone is being honest.” 

His eyes finally open. I don’t dare move as he moves my hand off of his cheek so that he can brush his lips against my knuckles. I suppress an embarrassing shudder. “You wouldn’t have stayed--if you knew you wouldn’t ha--” 

No denial. I can’t--I can’t do this. “You know what the worst part is?” I can’t believe I’m about to say this. I can’t believe it’s true. “I might have.” Those words break something in me as I force myself away from him. The lack of contact leaves me more frozen than ever. “I might have! I might have been able to bear all the monstrous things you’ve done if you had just--” 

“What?!” He meets my outburst with one of equal power. “You might have stayed regardless?” The way he scoffs leaves me feeling like a wandering child. “You might have still looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky instead of like I’m the darkness they fight against?” I stay silent as he steps forward, quick to hold my chin in place with his long fingers. “I couldn’t risk you on possibility.” Kirigan’s gaze is so intense, a part of me is surprised that shadows don’t come at me--drowning me in darkness and him. “And don’t think me foolish enough to believe that someone like you would understand that I have to do what I’m doing--” 

“Have to?” No--how did I almost let him lure me back in so easily. I pull myself away, approaching my open wardrobe. “That’s not past tense.” He’s still--he’s still actively hurting people. Why had I been so stupidly naive to think that maybe this was all history? “I--I can’t do this.” 

Each step towards the exit of the room chips away at a piece of my soul. “You’re not walking away from me,” his strong grip is on my arm in a sharp instinct, “I won’t--I can’t be alone again.” 

I swallow back the lump of emotion in my throat. “You already are.” 

His eyes are pleading, pools of frightened adoration. “No--no,” he steps towards me, not releasing his grip on my arm, “You’re hurt that I lied, but now I’ll never have to lie to you again.” I push against his grip. Kirigan doesn’t release me. “Y/n,” my name is a lament from his lips, “Please.” 

My eyes round out as my heart leaps into my chest. “I used to think that you were only touched by the darkness, but now I’m not sure you can tell where the darkness ends and you begin.” His grip just barely falters. Maybe it’s acceptance. 

I shift weakly, a softer attempt to escape. His grip tightens even more than before as he tugs me forward. The reminder of his physical strength leaves me frozen in shock. I can’t read his expression, but something about him has darkened. When I don’t pull away again, his thumb brushes up and down my forearm. The silkiness of his touch is warm temptation. I inhale slowly as he moves his other arm in order to touch my shoulder. The contact is almost shy. 

“Kirigan,” my voice betrays me, breaking as his fingers trace down my collar, “What--what are you doing?” 

He tilts his head, taking in the way his touch rids my body of fight. “Nothing, really.” His voice is low, supple in its assuredness. “You’re the only person who has ever seen me--and for you to leave me after that.” 

“No,” I try to step back, but my body freezes as he toys with the collar of my dress, “What I saw--what I found out--that wasn’t you.” 

“It’s who I have to make myself be,” he whispers, “I’m doing what needs to be done.” 

“That logic can earn you a lot,” my words are careful, “But it cannot earn you me.” 

His hand brushes past my neck, finding the root of my hair. Kirigan pulls on it slightly, forcing me to expose my lower jaw and neck. I’m still as he leans forward, warm breath fanning across my skin. I fight against a shiver in vain as his lips brush down my skin, only stopping as he nips the base of my neck. I can’t help the small sound of surprise that escapes me. 

“Are you sure about that?” Blood rushes to my face, motivated by both embarrassment and something else. “Little dove, don’t ruin us.” His touch is warm, but his words leave me with an uncomfortable chill. In an attempt to escape the coldness, I half-press myself into the trail of soft and desperate kisses he’s leaving down my neck.

Kirigan pauses, exhaling slowly, and I feel some mental strength return to me. “There can’t be an us--not like this.” 

“Y/n.” He never uses my name. “You are the only light I know.” His words steal something from me as he pulls away enough to look me in the eyes. “I can’t handle the weight of solitude anymore--it’s worse than the dark.”

 I am unflinching, watching him with a markman’s care. Kirigan takes my silence as a positive. I don’t move as his gaze drops to my lips before he presses his own together. I don’t move as he destroys the distance between us like it’s some type of unbearable weight. His lips meet mine with enough force to bruise my face. The surprise of it gives him the chance to coax my lips into parting as his hands move to either side of my face. My body reacts without my permission, letting him deepen the kiss. Every time I find some kind of free will, Kirigan pushes it away with some kind of tactful lull of his tongue. Keeping his control, Kirigan ends the kiss by grazing sharp teeth against my bottom lip. 

I’m left panting. “You’re--you lied, Kirigan--I--” 

“You told me once you could never see me as a monster.”

“I said that to a version of you that technically doesn’t exist.” 

The grief in my chest and desire in my stomach twist in a nauseating way. Kirigan’s eyes watch me patiently, a pain similar to my own reflected in them. “Who I am when I’m with you is less fictitious than any identity I’ve ever given myself.”

The vulnerability in his voice is as alluring and distracting as the kiss. I find myself thinking of the warmth of his mouth against my skin. He had kissed me like the cure for ancient solitude could come from me. I think he had a point, because now that he’s not touching me in that way I feel the familiar tugs of cold emptiness. 

“I don’t understa--” My words are cut off by his lips brushing against mine. 

His touch is soft, but it’s far from shy as he draws out the kiss. It’s an attempt to keep me on edge, to keep me wanting him enough to push past my doubts. “Y/n,” there’s a reverent quality to his voice, “I--” Kirigan grabs the collar of my dress, pulling me to him sharply. His kiss conveys things that neither of us truly understand. “Don’t go.” 

I don’t want to. The realization is a cruel wave crashing against my chest. “You lie to everyone, you lie to me--you--you hurt and destroy and I--” One of his hands brushes against the hem of my dress. “What are you,” the words are supposed to be sharp, but my resolve melts as his hand presses firmly against my thigh, “Doing?” 

“You know me,” he draws out each word as his fingers graze towards the inside of my thighs. The cool metal of his rings are practically ice against my flushed skin. “Little dove, trust me.” 

My nails dig into my palms as I try to ignore what he’s doing. “I did and you betrayed me.” 

“I couldn’t lose you,” he whispers, thumb inching up my inner thigh.

I press my lips together, fighting against a natural reaction. “You did lose me.” 

Kirigan’s eyes darken as his grip on my thigh tightens. “We’ll move past this.” He’s both pleading and assured. “I think I know how to make it up to you.” He trails his hand up my thigh swiftly, stopping with his hand on my lower hip. Shamelessly, he toys with the hem of my underwear. “The only thing that’s really changed is that now I’m touching you like this.” 

The only thing I can do is gape at him. He’s a villain, his hands are coated in unnecessarily spilled blood, and I am helpless against his slightest touch. I should try pushing him away or at the very least resist his blatant advantages. His fingers brush down my underwear, stopping at a growing wet spot. The knowing look he gives me burns my core. I try to keep my expression hard in a final form of protest, but when he presses his pointer finger against me all the resolve in me is shattered. 

My eyebrows draw together as a small sound escapes me, “Kirigan.” I can’t tell if it’s praise or a warning. 

He pauses, hand retracting slightly at my whining. “Y/n,” his other hand cups my cheek. I lean into the contact without permission from my body. “There is only one name that I have not given myself and only one name I want to hear you breathe like that.” His thumb traces my lips softly. I don’t move as he leans forward, turning his lips towards my ear. 

“Aleksander.” His name is nothing more than a breath, a stolen heartbeat on his lips. 

He presses his fingers against where I’m the weakest again. My hips grind forward instinctually, desperate for more contact as he kisses the top of my jaw. 

“Aleksander.” The name escapes me in the form of a broken moan. Speaking it feels more intimate than the way he’s touching me. 

There’s the slightest pause in his consuming actions. “Again,” he breathes, “Say my name again.” His request is so soft it feels like he’s more at my mercy than I am at his. 

My eyes shut as his teeth graze my neck. “Aleksander.” At the sound of his name, his teeth brush against my skin harder than ever. 

When he starts to pull away, I reach out desperately, grabbing his kefta. “I thought you wanted to leave, little dove.” 

No. No. He is not going to get me to agree to stay by giving me something as intimate as his original name and by denying me his touch. “Please.” 

He reaches for my hand, pulling it off of him cruelly. “Do you want to stay with me?” 

I know which answer will get me what I really want, but I’m not sure which answer is true. Do I want to stay with him? Even after knowing what he’s done? “I don’t want to leave you.” The vulnerability of the statement cracks at my heart. He turns away from me in order to face the wall. I take a tentative step towards. “But I’m not sure what I want matters.” 

In one quick motion, he’s yanking more forward and pressing me into the wall. “Of course desire matters,” his body is pressed against mine almost entirely, “It means something.” He brushes his knuckles against my cheek. “It means you could choose me.” 

What could I say to that? I part my lips to speak but he silences me by pressing his lips against my jaw. I offer no protest as he starts touching me the way he did earlier. I’m more desperate now, more needy and okay with that. His fingers slip past my underwear testingly, hesitating before finally entering me slowly. 

“Aleksander,” my voice is so needy I’m not sure it’s my own. 

“I want you to say my name like that again,” he whispers, kissing down my collarbone as he begins to press his fingers in and out of me faster, “And I want you to say my name casually,” his pace doesn’t slow, even when I begin to let out indistinguishable whines, “And I want you to say my name while you’re falling asleep,” his touch becomes more aggressive as his words become more sincere, “And I want you to say my name every other way there is to say it.” 

The bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach grows until there’s nothing else for me to hold onto. I finish with a sharp gasp. The feeling of euphoria is only intensified as Aleksander begins to kiss up my jaw before finally pressing our lips together. 

I break the kiss first, desperate to breathe. Have my legs been so shaky this entire time? Aleksander lets me recover, resting his head against my forehead. “I’m tired of being alone.” 

I imagine all the foul acts he’s committed and all the bad he wants to bring. I picture all the innocent blood he’s spilled. I see all of it--every horror and dark deed he’s ever committed. But I cannot see me leaving him. Maybe that makes me a monster, maybe that makes me an idiot...but I can’t do it. 

Slowly, I move to drape my arms over his back in a loose hug. “You’re not alone, Aleksander.” I’m not sure what that signifies, but I know it’s true. There has to be good in him. No one capable of such warmth can be pure evil. “I choose you.” 

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

[rainy-day-gracie]

Old Friends 3

Spencer Reid x reader

Loads of just Spencer fluff + the team :)  enjoy!

Chapter 4 has been posted!!

Chapter 3: 

“In the past week, three bodies in downtown Las Vegas have been found. One John Doe, two identified prostitutes.” Garcia pointed to the TV. “Cause of death with all three was a single gunshot wound to the heart. But there is something else.”

“Whoa,” Morgan breathed. “Don’t see that everyday.”

“He removed their faces. Maybe punishing them for their sins?” Prentiss wondered. 

“It could be that someone close to him is or was a prostitute. Shot to the heart plus removal of the face could be personal.” I said, not totally convinced of myself. 

Hotch closed his file. “We can start building a profile on the jet. Wheels up in 20.” 

---

Spencer was oddly quiet on the jet. “You okay?” I asked him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just- going back home, that’s all.” He glanced over with those coffee colored eyes, and I knew that’s not all that was bothering him. 

“Maybe if we wrap this case we can go out on the town,” Prentiss suggested hopefully. 

Morgan smirked. “I thought you hated Vegas.” Prentiss rolled her eyes. 

“If we play poker, I am crushing you all. Including you,” I pointed at Spencer. 

 “Oh, I’m sure you could beat the rest of us, but the Boy Wonder here has been on a winning streak for nearly seven years.” Rossi smirked and took a long sip of his coffee. 

Spencer sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep that up, YFN is one of the only people that has beaten me.” The rest of the team stared at me in awe. 

“YLN, what’s your IQ?” JJ wondered aloud. 

Spencer groaned and I laughed. “Um, well... 190. Spencer and I have had this argument before.” 

“Three points shouldn’t be this big of a deal!” He exclaimed. 

We almost couldn’t stop laughing until Garcia video called. “What is it? What’s so funny?” 

“My IQ is higher than Spencer’s.” 

She gasped. “Oh my goodness, this is some kind of magical moment, but I am about to ruin it.”

“They found another body?” JJ asked expectantly.

“Yes, but this time the shots were to the heart and genitals of a downtown prostitute. Plus the removal of the face.” Garcia cringed. “Goodbye, my beloved crime fighters!” And her face disappeared from the screen. 

“Alright, Morgan, YLN, Rossi, you are at the station working on victimology. JJ, Reid, visit the latest crime scene. Prentiss and I will visit the ME to see what we can find out.” Hotch said authoritatively. “This guy doesn’t have any kind of cooling off period.” 

---

Rossi and Morgan seemed to have some kind of inside joke that I wasn’t in on. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Okay, what’s going on? You guys keep glancing at each other and smirking, but you don’t talk to me unless it’s about the case.” 

Rossi glances over at Morgan and then looked at me. “We’re just not sure if you and good old 187 were truly just ‘old friends’ in college.”

Morgan sat down next to me at the table. “We’ve seen those small glances at each other when you think no one is watching, reassuring hand squeezes, the way he lingers on you after you look away.” 

I could feel my face turn bright red even before he stopped talking. “Umm... I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rossi smiled. “And there’s the small fact that you dated for almost two years at MIT.” 

I gasped. “How did you know about that?”

Morgan was giggling like a little kid. “Garcia may have let it slip once.” 

I took a deep breath. “Of course she did. Well, whatever. That was almost ten years ago when we had to break up. We were nineteen.”

“Yeah, right,” Rossi said. “And lets just pretend that he wouldn’t move mountains for you.” 

I didn’t have an answer for that.

---

It wasn’t up until six victims that we had an idea. 

“YLN, all of the female victims look like you,” Hotch began hesitantly. “If you released a statement, denouncing his kills, he would have to come to us directly. Otherwise, I don’t think he’s coming out of the woodwork any time soon.”

“How would I denounce his kills?”

“We would hold a press conference. You would say that the FBI wouldn’t be working on this case anymore. That the kills weren’t sophisticated enough, and the shootings were unrelated to each other,” Hotch explained. “Being insulted by someone he sees as lowly, beneath him, it would get under his skin. He would have to come to us.” 

It took all of three seconds for me to agree. “Sure, someone will have to coach me first.”

JJ stepped up. “I’ve got that covered.” 

An hour later, dozens of reporters were standing outside Vegas police station. All waiting for me. 

“Remember to hold yourself like a queen. Control the crowd, don’t let them control you. And keep your answers short and to the point.” JJ explained quickly. “You’ve got this.” 

“Thanks, let’s just get this done and I can crush you guys at the casino.” I said, making JJ laugh. “Let’s do this.”

---

“Hello, thank you for coming. My name is SSA YFN YLN, and I’m here with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. I would like to alert the public that the shootings around the city of Las Vegas will no longer be considered a BAU case.” I made sure to keep my chin high, and speak clearly. Like a queen, JJ had said. 

“Why isn’t the FBI investigating the shootings of the city’s prostitutes?” One reporter called out. 

“We believe the shootings, while savage, are unrelated to one another.” 

“What do you have to say to the families of the victims?” 

Oh god. I didn’t know how to answer that one. I’m sorry? Feel better soon? I looked out into the crowd for something that could help me.  

Spencer was standing at the back. He nodded encouragingly, giving me a small smile. 

“The Las Vegas police department is doing everything they can to find the individuals responsible for the shootings in the city. The FBI simply believes that the case doesn’t... have the sophisticated nature needed to be a BAU case.”

“What can you say about the rumor of the removal of the faces of the victims?” 

“The Las Vegas police department is not commenting on that rumor at this time. Thank you very much.” And with that, my first press conference was ended. 

The team met me inside the building. The smiles on their faces said I did a good job. Even Hotch had a pleased twinkle in his eye. 

“You looked like you had done that a thousand times.”

“Commanded those reporters like a boss.” 

“I’m so proud of you.” 

Spencer barely whispered that last part, so quiet no one else could hear him. 

“I wanna talk to the bitch that insulted me on TV!” 

---

The man held a prostitute in his arm, a revolver pressing into her temple. 

I tried to run out so he could see me, but Spencer held me back by my waist and pushed me into a side room with him. 

“What are you doing? He wants to talk to me!” I yelled. 

    Spencer shook his head. “The second he sees you, he’s going to shoot you, no matter who’s surrounding him. Stay here and-“ 

“If I don’t see that bitch soon, this whore is dead!”

“Spencer,” I pleaded. 

He paused for a second, just looking at me. “Fine,” he breathed. He did not like this at all. 

I walked slowly out of the room and into the man’s line of sight. His eyes widened and he smiled maniacally. 

“You really think my kills aren’t sophisticated?” He hissed at me. Based on the fact that he waltzed into the police department with a hostage, he wasn’t planning on getting out of here. But he’s going to make sure he caused as much damage as he could. 

I kept my voice from trembling. “I don’t think anyone who cuts people’s faces off is anything more than a murderer.” 

“YLN,” Hotch warned from behind me. 

I didn’t dare take my eyes off of the man in front of me. “But your kills are ones that the BAU will study for years to come.” I gestured around the room. “Look at this. Right now you’ve got dozens of trained law enforcement pointing guns at you. Why would you not want to enjoy that spectacle while you’re still alive? If you shoot her, you get killed. But if you put that gun down, you can live to truly see the mass panic you created in one of the largest cities in the country.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “Your choice.” 

He considered it for a second and slowly let go of the woman he was holding. The man then dropped his gun on the ground, and got on his knees. 

I felt as if I could breathe again. I shut my eyes as Hotch put the man in handcuffs and dragged him away. 

“You are on some kind of roll, YLN.” Morgan patted me on the shoulder. “Spencer is a lucky boy.”

“Oh shush.” I groaned at him. “I need a drink. Can we hit the town now?” 

Prentiss walked up next to me. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

---

We took off the next morning, most everyone in varying degrees of a hangover. Prentiss and Morgan were the worst of it. “Ugh, I hate Vegas,” I heard her groan.

Spencer took his seat next to me on the jet. “I’m still convinced you were cheating last night. You couldn’t have beaten me that many times, right?” 

I laughed loudly. “I’ve beaten you in poker since college. What were you expecting?” 

He gave me a fake glare and rested his head on my shoulder. “Whatever, I’m taking a nap.” 

Good thing everyone was too hungover to see the obvious blush on my face. 

A few hours later, Spencer’s head was still on my shoulder. “Hey, Spencer?” I whispered. 

“Yes?” 

“What’s been bothering you?”

His dark eyes opened and he lifted his head. “Well... nothing’s been really bothering me. It’s just... strange to be seeing you everyday again.” He looked me in the eyes. “Is that weird?” 

“No, it’s not weird. The last time I saw you... you were off to join the academy and I...” I was taking a gap year to care for my negligent mother dying of breast cancer. 

“I know. And I know that’s why we... ended it,” Spencer sighed. “I just didn’t realize how much I’ve missed seeing you all the time until you joined the team.”

I gave him a small smile. “I’ve missed seeing you all the time too, Spencer.”

[colbybrocksmolder]

Tumblr – Colby Brock x Reader

Tumblr is…a mixed bag. You’d made some of your closest internet friends on this poorly run website, but you’d also received more than your share of crazy fangirl hate. What’s crazy though, is how easy it is to make friends in the Sam and Colby fandom on Tumblr. 99% of everyone you’ve met is super nice and the group kind of shuts down the haters pretty quickly.

This last round of drama kind of wore everyone down. It all started with a hate anon that your friend DaddyDobrock received. “If Sam and Colby saw half of what you guys wrote on here they wouldn’t want you as fans 🙄.” She handled it well. She laughed and told the anon to lighten up and fuck off. You guys were pretty used to petty hate anons and rarely answer them, but boy was this asshole persistent.

Absolute-randomness-forever replied to a similar message with “If you don’t like what we post, don’t follow us?” Again, not really feeding into any drama.

Sp00kybrock got one trying to get her opinion on the whole thing. “Don’t you think most of the Sam and Colby tumblr fandom is toxic? Like, I bet Colby would cringe so hard if he went on this site. 🙄” She defended her friends, laughing it off. “My friends and I aren’t toxic. We post memes and joke around, but we support the boys 100%.”

Jakeywebber commented on a few of the new posts. “Does this person even watch the boys? They obviously don’t know that their sense of humor is exactly like ours.”

The anons continued to come in, a few other people getting them but not replying. They always ended with 🙄. The problem with one toxic anon is that they attract others that want to feed into the drama, and soon the hate is taken too far.

Someone got an anon telling them to kill themselves. Eye rolling emoji included. The blog posted the anon with no comment other than “deleting now” and went offline. To say that the rest of you were up in arms is an understatement. Lightenupbrock, that-one-brock-boy, badassbrock, the-sun-is-dark, colbyjacksmack, rewindfridaynight, xplr-lurker, brockboytrashz…you all jumped in and defended your friend. You sent them messages making sure they were okay, trying to convince them not to delete.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “FYI we see more than you think we see. Don’t pretend to be our fan and then treat other fans like shit. Especially anonymously. 🙄”

Daddydobrock posted “Anyone else see this?” with a screenshot of the tweet.

A few of the others reblogged it, adding comments. By the end of the thread, your group of friends was convinced that Colby either had a tumblr or occasionally lurked on it.

*tumblr messages*

Xplr-lurker : Hey, have you heard from the girl that got the kys anon?

You and Xplr-lurker had been tumblr friends for about 6 months. They messaged you after they saw how you interacted with the other blogs. You were always helpful, kind, encouraging…You had a reputation for being a sweetheart and Xplr-lurker had messaged you thanking you for it. You two became friends pretty quickly, asking how each other’s days went and such. Neither of you ever really posted your personal info on your blogs, but you knew a bit about each other. You both lived in Cali, you were about the same age, and you loved sending each other super emo tumblr posts when you were bored. Usually hella late at night. He knew you were a girl and you knew he was a guy. Other personal details kind of trickled through in your everyday interactions.

Y/n : Yeah. She doesn’t want to be online for a while, but she isn’t going to delete her blog. I gave her my phone number just in case she needed to talk.

Xplr-lurker : I figured you would 😊 I’m glad she’s okay.

Y/n : Me too.

Y/n : Hey, did you see Colby’s tweet? I think he saw all of this go down. I mean, maybe I’m just assuming too much, but he ended a tweet about anon hate with that stupid eye roll emoji just like the anon does.

Xplr-lurker : I mean, he said he checks his dms all the time. Maybe someone sent it to him?

Y/n : Maybe.

Y/n : Honestly, I’m just as mad for him and Sam as I am for the girl. How shitty is it that they have to watch the people who call themselves fans treat other fans like garbage? And they can’t do a thing about it.

Xplr-lurker : That sounds like it would suck.

Y/n : Right?

You had written a whole big post about how hypocritical it was for this toxic anon to accuse everyone else of being bad for the fandom when they were so willing to go out of their way to harm other fans. You reminded them about the videos Sam and Colby used to post about being confident and helping others. Their entire YouTube career started with them making videos wanting to help people. Just like every other post, you signed it with two black heart emojis. 🖤🖤

You had continued talking to xplr-lurker as you wrote the post. Venting a little bit about how frustrated you were.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “Don’t worry, we know there are amazing fans out there, too. 🖤🖤”

Y/n : Dude. I think I’m paranoid, now.

Xplr-lurker : What do you mean?

Y/n : Nothing. I’m exhausted. I just need sleep, lol. You do too, nerd. You said you needed to be up by 9 and it’s already 4am.

Xplr-lurker : Holy shit, my friend is going to kill me if I’m falling asleep tomorrow, haha.

Y/n : Haha, good luck! I’ll talk to you later.

Xplr-lurker : Thanks. Sweet dreams.

See, it’s pretty common for social media influencers to have secret accounts. It gives them a way to like posts and follow fans without starting drama. After collabing with CrankThatFrank, Colby was convinced to make a tumblr. He picked Xplr-lurker so that it made sense for him to interact with his own fans. He mostly just reblogged cool edits and funny traphouse memes. He’d comment on funny posts and throw his two cents in on theories and gossip. For the most part, it was kind of fun. People on tumblr were brutally honest but fucking hilarious. He never planned on talking about tumblr or letting anyone he interacted with on tumblr know that he was behind the username…but then he found your blog. He’d contemplated telling you for a few weeks now. The two of you talked almost every night and he felt bad. He felt like he was lying to you.

He’d first messaged you just to say a quick thanks for being so positive in the fandom, but the more he talked to you the more he kept wanting to talk to you.

The 🙄 anon stopped sending people messages after Colby’s tweet. Your friends on tumblr were able to go back to posting ridiculous screenshots and cool photo edits over the next week or so. You’d reblogged a gif of Colby about to lose his shorts on a waterslide with the caption “I feel like Elton has been trying to get Colby naked in vlogs since the start of TFIL”.

Xplr-lurker : *sent waterslide post*

Xplr-lurker : This is a fat fact. Lol.

Y/n : Right? Hahahahaha

Xplr-lurker : I think he does it for views.

Y/n : Probably. It’s the same reason Colby gets shirtless in his own videos. He knows people will click the thumbnail, haha.

Colby sat on his balcony laughing. You were absolutely right.

Xplr-lurker : Is that why you clicked?

Y/n : Haha, nah. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a beautiful human being. You’d have to be blind not to see that. But I found Colby through TFIL.  

Xplr-lurker : What made you keep watching him then?

Colby felt bad for baiting you out, but his curiosity got the better of him. As far as you knew, he was just another fan. This is when he’d get your most honest answer.

Y/n : A lot. First, he’s a huge goofball. Watching him and his friends do dumb shit to make each other laugh is the best.

Y/n : And everything him and Sam have done together? Those two dudes are fearless. They just remind me that I’m the only one holding myself back, you know? One day I’ll actually get out of my own way and make something of myself.

Y/n : He also seems super genuine. He never seems afraid to speak his mind or call something like it is. It actually bums me out watching some of his “friends”, If you know what I mean. I know that not everything they put out there is 100% accurate to how they actually are in real life, but I hate that slimy feeling I get knowing that a lot of them use Sam and Colby and don’t actually give a shit.

Y/n : I know I sound like a massive fangirl at this point, haha. I think I just needed to get that off my chest.

Colby sat there trying to figure out how to respond. He had a huge grin on his face seeing you spill your guts like you did.

Xplr-lurker : Haha, don’t worry about it. You just sound like you care. That’s not a bad thing.

Over the next few weeks, you guys continued to talk like normal, but it got a little more personal. He wanted to be able to call you a friend, but he was still afraid to tell you who he actually was. You two talked more about your passions and the things you struggle with. You’d always sent each other music to check out, but he’d confessed that he’d been dabbling in trying to write lyrics. He needed to find a way to talk to you as COLBY and not xplr-lurker.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “You feel so close but in reality I’m sitting here on my balcony alone.”

One of your tumblr friends had screenshot the tweet, adding the caption “This is how it feels to have better friends on the internet than in real life.”

You reblogged it and tagged xplr-lurker. You added “I wouldn’t trade our late-night talks for the world.”

Xplr-lurker : *sent tagged post*

Xplr-lurker : Yeah?

Y/n : Duh. You know that.

Xplr-lurker : Same.

Colby sat there, his fingers hovering over the keyboard on his phone.

*Twitter notification* Colby Brock Tweeted : “1 like = 1 ‘don’t be a pussy’ whispered in my ear.”

Xplr-lurker : Not to sound like a creepy internet person, but have you ever met any of your internet friends in real life?

Y/n : Haha, I don’t think you’re creepy. And yes! I’ve met a few of them. Why?

Xplr-lurker : I know we live in the same city and I’ve always wondered if you’d want to get coffee or something.

Y/n : That would mean that you’d get to see how awkward and clumsy I am in real life. I don’t know if I’m willing to put you through that, hahaha.

Colby laughed. That response was better than the “fuck off, creeper” he expected.

Xplr-lurker : Oh, shut up. You’d be the one dealing with me being awkward.

Y/n : Suuuuuuure. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

Y/n : I’m actually walking home from my favorite coffee shop right now, haha. It’s called 101. They’re open until 3 am and they have the best food.

Xplr-lurker : WHY ARE YOU WALKING ALONE SO LATE AT NIGHT?!

It was well past 2am and the thought of you walking the streets of LA by yourself kind of had Colby on edge.

Y/n : I live like 5 minutes away. Don’t worry.

Colby pulled up 101 Coffee Shop on his phone. It was less than a 10 minute drive from his apartment. *We actually live pretty close* he thought, switching back to the tumblr app.

Xplr-lurker : Tell me when you make it home safe. LA is scary at night.

Xplr-lurker : Also, that coffee shop is not far from me. If you ever want to meet up there, I’m down.

Y/n : I just walked in my front door. Stop worrying, mom.

Y/n : And I’ll be headed back there tomorrow around midnight. My roommate’s boyfriend is obnoxious and he comes over every night around then. I usually hang out at the coffee shop and work on stuff on my laptop for a few hours.

Xplr-lurker : I’m glad you’re safe. I’ll definitely try to make it there tomorrow.

Y/n : I’ll be the one with the messy bun, laptop, and baggy Y&R hoodie, lol.

Xplr-lurker : If I don’t chicken out, I’ll wear an XPLR hoodie.

Y/n : Well I need to go to sleep. If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’m sure I’ll still talk to you on here.

Xplr-lurker : For sure! Have a good night!

Y/n : You too. 🖤🖤

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” Colby said, sighing. This was it. He was either going to walk into that coffee shop and blow his cover or he was going to chicken out like a little bitch.

The whole next day he had a hard time paying attention to anything or anyone. He was too busy trying to figure out the best way to tell you who he was.

“Colby!” Sam laughed, waving his hand in front of his friend’s face.

“What? Sorry.” Colby said, shaking his head and turning towards Sam.

“You okay?” Sam asked. Colby just stared at him for a minute. “I’m going to take that as a no?”

“I’m not, not okay.” Colby answered, sounding cryptic.

“Okaaaayyy.” Sam said slowly. “Care to explain?”

“I’m just nervous to meet up with someone later.” Colby tried to sound casual. “It’s nothing big. I’m just anxious, I guess.”

“Who?” Sam asked.

“A girl I met online.” Colby said, waiting for Sam to tease him.

Sam furrowed his brows. “Like on a dating app?”

“No.” Colby shook his head. “She’s a fan.”

Sam made a confused face. “Not to make it sound like I think you’re stupid, but are you being catfished again?” He laughed.

Colby couldn’t help but crack a smile, hiding his face behind his hands. “No, actually. I don’t even know what this girl looks like.”

“What?!” Sam asked, confused.

“That’s not the weirdest part.” Colby said, peeking through his fingers at his best friend. “She doesn’t know I’m me.”

“Is this for a video or something?” Sam asked, not understanding at all what was going on.

“Nope. I made an account to interact with fans and we just kind of clicked.” Colby tried explaining. “We’ve been friends for like 6 months, but we only ever talk through our usernames. The more I say this out loud the crazier it sounds.” Colby laughed.

“Sooooo, you’ve never seen a picture of her?” Sam asked.

“Nope. Not for sure. I THINK I found her personal blog, but I could be wrong.” Colby answered. “I only know her name because it’s in her profile, but she’s never asked me mine.”

“Is she going to be mad?” Sam asked, trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

“That’s kind of why I’m so nervous.” Colby said, biting his lip. “She told me where she’s going to be tomorrow night and I don’t know if I should just show up or if I should rip the band-aid off and tell her who I am in our dms before we’re supposed to meet up.”

Sam had a blank stare on his face. “I honestly have no idea how to help you.”

“Don’t feel bad. I don’t know how to help myself.” Colby laughed.

“Tell me how it goes?” Sam asked.

“Of course.” Colby nodded, zoning out again.

At around 11:30pm you’d walked to the coffee shop. You ordered a drink and your late dinner and sat down in the corner booth. You worked on some things you were currently writing and gone through and caught up with your emails. At about 1am, you’d convinced yourself your tumblr friend had chickened out.

Right around 12:30am, Colby was stood in front of the coffee shop he was supposed to meet you at. There were only a few people currently in the shop, so it was pretty easy to figure out which one was you. He’d taken a deep breath and walked through the door, darting to the counter when he started to panic. With his back to you, he ordered a coffee. *I don’t even like coffee* he thought to himself. He kept peeking at you from the pick-up counter while he waited for his order. You had headphones in your ears, mouthing the lyrics to whatever song you were listening to. When the barista called out his name, he grabbed his coffee and left the shop.

Xplr-lurker : I’m stuck.

Xplr-lurker : You’re normally the person I go to for advice, but I feel like it’s unfair to put this one on you.

Xplr-lurker : You’re beautiful, btw.

You looked up from your computer, searching for your friend.

Y/n : Thank you? Are you here?

Xplr-lurker : I was. I chickened out. I kind of panicked.

Y/n : Aww, I promise you have no reason to panic. So why are you stuck? I’m always here to listen and give advice when I think I can help. You know that.

Colby sighed, sitting in his car.

Xplr-lurker : I guess it’s better just to come out with it.

Xplr-lurker : My name is Colby.

You waited a few seconds for further explanation.

Y/n : Okay? I don’t get it.

Xplr-lurker : Like, I am Colby Brock. I made this account to interact with fans.

Y/n : Please tell me you’re just fucking with me as a friend and not a delusional fanboy that’s trying to actually convince me he’s someone he’s not.

*Great* you thought to yourself. Not only did you have to walk home at night by yourself in LA, now you had to keep an eye out for a crazy person who wanted you to believe they were Colby. You thought this person was your friend and now you were afraid to leave the coffee shop.

Xplr-lurker : Neither? I know I fucked up by not telling you sooner.

Y/n : Well, since whoever is on the other end of this message knows I’m here alone, I’m going to call my roommate to pick me up. You know, you were really cool. You were my favorite person to talk to. This really sucks. You didn’t have to be anyone but yourself.  

When Colby tried to reply to your message, the chat said that he had been blocked. “Oh, fuck.” He said, jumping back out of his car. When he got to the door of the coffee shop, he could see that you were packing up your stuff.

“Y/n!” he called from the door, walking towards your booth.

Your eyes flew towards the boy walking in your direction, your hands frozen holding your laptop.

Colby slowly slid into the other side of the booth you were sitting in, putting his phone down with the tumblr app open. “I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck?” you whispered, still not moving.

“You have every right to be mad at me and I swear I never meant to freak you out. I didn’t really think it through when I told you who I was. Is your roommate coming?” He asked, talking so fast you could barely process what he was saying.

You sat your laptop down and grabbed his phone. “My roommate wouldn’t come pick me up even if I did call her.” You said, looking at the tumblr app on Colby’s phone. You were the only person he had messaged.

“You were going to walk?” Colby asked, grabbing his phone when you handed it back to him.

“I was going to order an Uber.” You laughed. “This is crazy. You’re crazy.”

“Are you mad?” Colby’s face was apprehensive, waiting for you to tell him to fuck off.

“A little.” You nodded, laughing. “You asked me questions about yourself! I fangirled to you about you!” You remembered, covering your now blushing cheeks with your hands, hiding your face.

He laughed. “I feel the need to say this in person…You’re beautiful.” He watched as you peeked over your fingers. “And I’m the one that should be embarrassed about that, not you.”

“Why did you ask me to meet if you didn’t want me to know who you were?” You asked, remembering that this whole thing was his idea.

He laughed, reaching to grab one of your hands. “I’ve been trying to nut up and tell you who I am for over a month.”

“Why me? You didn’t even know what I looked like?” You were still trying to take in the fact that Colby Brock was sitting here in your favorite coffee shop holding your hand.

“I didn’t really care what you looked like. You’ve been a great friend to me since we first started talking and I was just some random person you met online…That has nothing to do with how someone looks.” He explained, blushing before continuing. “The fact that you’re also adorable is just an added bonus.”

You laughed, pulling your hand out of his so you could re-do your messy bun that was currently falling. “This is crazy. I want to re-read everything I’ve ever sent to you to make sure I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself.”

“Y/n.” Colby laughed. “You didn’t. I promise. There’s not a single thing you’ve told me that I don’t like.”

You stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell you were supposed to do now. “I have one question.” You said, leaning your elbows on the table.

“Ask away.” He answered, leaning forward the same way you were.

“What’s the REAL reason Elton always tries to get you naked in his vlogs?” You smirked, hearing Colby bust a gut laughing.

“Honestly, I’ve questioned it myself. The only answer that keeps me sane is clickbait.” He shook his head. “So, we’re good?” he asked.

“I mean, I don’t know WHAT we are, but I hope it isn’t bad.” You laughed.

“Well, we’ve been friends for over 6 months. I’d like to still claim that even though you know now that I’ve been a dumbass this entire time.” He smiled.

“I think I can deal with that.” You smiled back at him.

“Should I push my luck and ask you if I can buy you another coffee?” He asked, a shy look on his face. “I think coffee is disgusting, but I hear coffee shops make for great first dates.”

“You went from being afraid to show your face to asking me on a date.” You laughed.

“Well?” Colby said, waiting for your answer.

You nodded, your cheeks turning pink. “I’d love another coffee.”

I can remove any of the tumblrs I’ve used if you’re uncomfortable being mentioned. @daddydobrock @absolute-randomness-forever @sp00kybrock @jakeywebber @lightenupbrock @that-one-brock-boy @badassbrock @the-sun-is-dark @colbyjacksmack @rewindfridaynight @brockboytrashz 

[ckret2]

anon: Something for TFP StarWaveWave conspiracy AU you talked about on tumblr?

I would like to personally thank this ko-fi commissioner for ensuring that I was incapable of thinking about anything else at all today; and secondarily thank @kurxo​ for accidentally indirectly inspiring this by drawing Starscream being friendly with Soundwave and Shockwave. Fic based on that fanart and some posts I made a few days ago about a potential Starscream + Soundwave + Shockwave conspiracy to overthrow Megatron; this fic is a setup for how such an alliance could come to be. The related posts are tagged #starwavewave conspiracy

If he’d stopped to think about it beforehand, Soundwave would have expected the hardest part of starting a mutinous conspiracy to be convincing himself that he wanted to help Starscream to overthrow Megatron. Certainly, that was the slowest part. Convincing Shockwave had been much easier. But no—it turned out that the trickiest bit of the whole thing was convincing Starscream that he wanted to overthrow Megatron.

###

“Thank You For Listening, Soundwave”

###

"Legend tells that it holds the power to revive the dead," Starscream said.

Megatron replied, "We require only a cadaver to be certain. Are you willing to make the ultimate sacrifice?" and Starscream cringed away from him, laughing nervously, deflecting the question.

Soundwave recorded.

Soundwave hadn't realized until that moment that so much of what he disliked about Starscream was how he shrank and shriveled and cowered in fear.

He hadn't realized until that moment that—even faced by the most highly-trained Autobot guerrilla force in history, by energon shortages and hungry soldiers, by carving out secret strongholds for the Decepticons on an alien world—he hadn't seen Starscream cringe once in the last three years.

Until now.

###

"Megatron's greatest mistake was ever allowing you to live, Prime!"

It was true. Soundwave didn't like the thought of Megatron making mistakes—but when he allowed himself to dwell on his leader's flaws...

Watching a dozen camera feeds from a bank of screens on the Nemesis, Soundwave recorded. He recorded, spark rising in hope and disbelief and delight, as Starscream dove toward the defenseless Prime. He recorded, spark sinking back down into the dark, as Megatron intercepted Starscream before he could destroy their greatest enemy.

He recorded.

"But the Autobots—Optimus—right there, waiting for you!"

“My greatest mistake? I've made a few. But there is one I do not intend to make again!”

That should have been how Megatron announced that he was correcting his mistake by ensuring that the Prime did not live.

When that wasn’t what Megatron did, for a moment Soundwave didn’t understand.

He turned a camera toward the Prime, who was helpless and totally ignored. He turned another toward Megatron, hauling away the Decepticon that had nearly killed the Prime to thrash him instead.

Soundwave had a good idea how Starscream had earned Megatron's wrath. He told himself that Starscream deserved this beating. He told himself that it was a punishment proportionate to his crime.

He told himself this to avoid wondering why Starscream was a higher priority than their greatest enemy.

"N-no! Master!"

The Decepticons rose up to throw off their chains. Soundwave wondered why they called Megatron "master."

###

"I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones. I now realize I was never destined to be leader, or even an equal partner. And, I am at peace with that. I have gained a clear understanding of my place in the universe. Of who I am. Of who I was always meant to be. Starscream: second in command, humble servant to Lord Megatron."

At Starscream's request, Soundwave recorded.

Soundwave told himself that this was as it should be, that this was something Starscream needed to learn. He tried to ignore the bitterness rising in his throat at Starscream's resignation to servitude.

The Decepticons rose up to escape servitude.

He told himself he only felt bitter because he knew Starscream was probably lying. He tried to ignore the slight comfort he felt at the thought that Starscream might still be hiding a defiant spark.

"Thank you for listening, Soundwave."

No one ever thanked Soundwave for listening.

###

"I know you can hear me."

Starscream's fugitive voice floated like a ghost through the halls of the Nemesis. Yes, at the other end of the labyrinth of halls, Soundwave could hear him.

"I'm only hungry. All I’ve come for is fuel. Merely a few cubes." He was so, so quiet. "Please, I beg of you, do not betray me. Recall how many millions of years we have been fellow officers—I'm sure I've never said it, but I truly hold you in the greatest esteem, and were the situation reversed I would certainly not betray you. And remember who gained you—gained all of us—that energon."

Soundwave thought of all the energon mines Starscream had located and established in three years, and all the mines Megatron had lost in half that time.

Soundwave thought of how they had convinced themselves that Starscream would be easy to replace; and how his replacement had challenged Soundwave to a fight, something Starscream had never dared nor desired to do, even when they had disagreed during Megatron’s long absence.

Soundwave thought of how Megatron had come home with Orion Pax unharmed and protected; and just as easily as Starscream, Soundwave had been replaced.

Soundwave recorded Starscream's whispered plea. And he told no one.

###

When a whole flock of Starscreams crept on board, and one whispered into the air, "I am, of course, still grateful for last time," again he recorded, and again he told no one.

When the flock attacked Megatron, Soundwave still wasn't entirely sure he'd made the wrong decision.

###

"Do not ever make me regret which one of you I spared."

Soundwave recorded.

So many of Megatron's recent changes to the chain of command seemed to be a notable step down. Airachnid over Starscream. Orion Pax over Soundwave.

Choosing Starscream over Dreadwing would have been a step up, if it had been the Starscream who led them calmly and competently for three years, shrewdly preserving their numbers and bolstering their fuel reserves, quietly respecting Soundwave’s competence and perspective even as he loudly complained about his specific opinions. But this broken, scared thing, who seemed more interested in winning Megatron's approval than winning the war, was just another step down.

Strange, but Soundwave hadn't thought Starscream had seemed so broken when he came home with the Omega Keys.

He reviewed his recordings.

###

"What should I call my new domain? New Kaon? Or perhaps 'Gilded Earth.'"

Soundwave recorded as the Prime sliced off Megatron's arm.

He recorded as the Prime’s blade swung down into the Omega Lock, so close that Soundwave could have reached out and touched it.

He recorded from where he had crashed to the ground as Cybertron's one hope of resurrection vanished in a ball of flame.

He recorded because he was too horrified to look away.

When Soundwave was on his feet again, too dazed from the blast and from sudden grief to begin to think about what to do next, he drifted, automatically, to stand at Starscream's back.

It was Starscream who snapped to his senses and seized control of the situation. Starscream who commanded Knock Out, "Attend to our master. He requires medical attention!" Starscream who sought the Autobots just in time to watch them retreat, and snarled, "Prime! He will pay for dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk." Starscream who put a voice to the rage Soundwave couldn't speak. Starscream who, Soundwave realized, easily buckled under the threat of pressure, but always stood strong once it was actually applied—as he stood strong now.

It was Megatron who laughed. Megatron who said, "They can run, but they can never again run home." Megatron who spoke like he thought this was a victory.

Soundwave felt like he was standing at the correct mech's back.

###

Soundwave played back his recordings over and over. Megatron's every moment of charisma and heroism, his every moment of spite and malice. Starscream's every moment of cunning and caution, his every moment of self-doubt and self-interest.

Soundwave was grieving for Cybertron. He knew that. He wasn't thinking clearly. He didn't know whether his shaken loyalties were founded in a fair assessment of the current state of Decepticon leadership, or in the frustrated feeling that everything was slowly falling apart. Despite their new stronghold on Earth and the scattering of the Autobot forces, he felt like they were on the losing side. He feared he was being irrational.

But he didn't know what he alone could do to figure out the rational course of action. So he did what he'd always done: remain silent.

"I find myself in urgent need of good news, so please, Knock Out, tell me that you found something useful."

"Some things, my liege. And someone."

Enter the most rational mech Soundwave had ever met.

###

“But you will be pleased to know that I avenged your seeming demise by personally terminating the Autobot Cliffjumper.”

“Careful, Starscream. You may dislocate a landing gear patting yourself on the back.”

Soundwave found himself, again, standing just behind Starscream. When Megatron had been gone, he’d stood at Starscream’s back for years without thinking about it. Now that Megatron was back and he could compare, he was finding himself more and more comfortable standing at Starscream’s side than Megatron’s, and he could not quite identify why.

When they had left the room, Shockwave turned to Soundwave. “I am certain Starscream did not go out of his way to avenge me.”

Soundwave gave him a slight nod.

“Then if he performed, as it were, a mere incidental execution, why does he consider it so notable that he killed Cliffjumper?”

Soundwave displayed a graph on his face, with a label identifying it as a chart of every Autobot the Decepticons had killed since coming to Earth. The graph was empty. He zoomed in on the only month with a bar displaying a kill count higher than zero: one.

“Ah,” Shockwave said. “So he’s the only one who’s gotten anything done on Earth.”

Soundwave was relieved Shockwave thought so too.

###

From the exit to the flight deck, Shockwave watched as Starscream argued futilely with Predaking, who continued to do absolutely nothing that he ordered.

Soundwave lurked behind him and echoed Megatron’s words. “‘Starscream, assume command of my beast.’ ‘Starscream! You have failed me enough for one day.’”

“No, he hasn’t met with any success.” Shockwave turned slightly to glance at Soundwave. “But you wouldn’t expend the effort to point out something obvious like that.”

Soundwave shook his head; no, he wouldn’t. No, that wasn’t his intended meaning. He tried to rearrange the statement. “‘Starscream! You have failed me enough for one day.’ ‘Starscream, assume command of my beast.’” Was that clear enough? “‘You have failed me’—‘assume command.’”

Shockwave tilted his head back as he puzzled over Soundwave’s meaning. “It is possible that Megatron anticipated Starscream’s failure before giving him the order?”

Soundwave nodded.

“Rather… self-defeating,” Shockwave said. “You think Megatron is deliberately sabotaging one of his first lieutenants.”

“‘It is possible.’”

“I have not witnessed Megatron displaying such self-destructive tendencies.”

“‘Wouldn’t expend the effort to point out something obvious.’”

“Hm. True.” Shockwave watched silently for a moment as Starscream shrieked and cowered back from the Predacon’s enraged snarl. “You’ve been here longer than I. And see more than most. I will observe Megatron closely.”

Soundwave bowed his head. “‘Thank you for listening.’”

###

"Soundwave. May I speak with you about our energon supplies? There appears to be a significant discrepancy in our record keeping."

Soundwave nodded warily to Shockwave, already wondering what new crisis they were about to face.

"For over two years, our quantity of energon mines—and, correspondingly, output of energon—has steadily declined. However, records indicate that our store of reserves has remained consistent. Do you know the reason?"

Soundwave slowly shook his head. He couldn't imagine. Who would tamper with the records? Surely he would have noticed any unauthorized meddling. And he could see their energon stores on his cameras; now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember noticing that they were any lower than usual. Yet they should be. Were his cameras compromised?

"Strange," Shockwave said mildly. "I will investigate further and update you on my findings."

When Shockwave found Soundwave later, he was pouring over old computer logs, looking for any indication that anybody had touched the inventory system who shouldn't have.

"I have found the reason for your consistent energon stores," Shockwave said. “Our Eradicon fatality rate has remained inversely proportionate to our energon production rate, such that the dwindling amount of fuel available to consume and the dwindling amount of soldiers consuming it have remained roughly equal."

Soundwave nodded, then remained still until Shockwave had moved on.

He punched a hole through his computer monitor.

For the first time in his life, he deleted some of his own surveillance footage.

###

“Even now, you do not criticize Starscream,” Shockwave commented, examining the mutated head of a Terrorcon Eradicon.

Soundwave shrugged. Did he have to? Soundwave felt that this debacle spoke for itself; it didn’t need Soundwave speaking for it.

“I am beginning to believe you are trying to persuade me of Starscream’s worth.”

Soundwave didn’t reply. He was doing no such thing; but he wasn’t trying to dissuade Shockwave, either. He was only reporting all of the little things he’d noticed—all of the little things he’d recorded—all of the little things that were otherwise so easy to overlook in the face of Megatron’s commanding presence and the way Starscream repeatedly fumbled under Megatron’s gaze—and waiting to see Shockwave’s judgment on how they added up.

“His recent behavior has been erratic,” Shockwave said. “And stupid.”

Soundwave remained silent.

Shockwave carefully set down the mangled head. “However, Starscream is not alone in that,” he said thoughtfully. “Perhaps he’s not even the worst offender.”

“‘I have been a fool. Made mistakes. Monumental ones.’ ‘My greatest mistake? I've made a few.’”

“Then you are measuring them against each other.”

Soundwave nodded slowly. “‘I find myself in urgent need of’—’a clear understanding of’—‘Starscream!’—‘And,’—’Lord Megatron.’”

“Hm.” Shockwave didn’t say more. But Soundwave remained, listening, all the same. Just in case.

###

“He left me for dead on Cybertron,” Shockwave said. “I am convinced that his reasons for doing so were logical enough—for the position he was in. However, I am not convinced that that they are sufficient for someone who would be the leader of an army.”

It was the first time Shockwave had directly broached the subject of Starscream hypothetically leading an army.

Soundwave almost suspected Shockwave resented Starscream for leaving him. He answered in Megatron’s voice: “‘If Breakdown allowed himself to be captured by those smaller than him, weaker than him, he deserves whatever fate awaits him.’”

“I see.” Shockwave remained silent a moment, musing on that. “No, I don’t suppose Megatron would have been any more likely to rescue me than Starscream was.”

Soundwave played a video on his visor: Starscream speaking to Megatron, “‘But Breakdown is a key player in our…’“ and flinching back from Megatron’s snarl, “‘uh… Your wisdom reigns supreme, Lord Megatron.’” Then the footage sped up, cutting between different cameras as Soundwave traced Starscream’s path through the Nemesis until he got outside and flew off without telling anyone.

Shockwave watched evenly. “No doubt, Starscream considered Breakdown a resource of some sort.”

No doubt. But Soundwave didn’t know that for certain—Starscream had never utilized Breakdown in any significant way.

Shockwave said, “I would far prefer the leader who does not consider his resources so quickly disposable over one mistake.”

Until the relief washed over him, Soundwave hadn’t realized how much he’d hoped Shockwave would lean in that direction.

“In your measuring of Lord Megatron and Starscream’s flaws… what do you intend to do if you conclude that Starscream is the better option?”

“‘If you conclude,’” Soundwave corrected. “‘Your wisdom reigns supreme.’ ‘I am’—‘an equal partner.’”

“Then I shall consider the matter carefully.”

###

Soundwave approached Megatron, and in Knock Out’s voice, said, “‘My liege, we’ve located another of Shockwave’s Predacon energy signatures.’”

“Have you?” Megatron glanced at the map displayed on Soundwave’s face, then turned to glower across the bridge. “Starscream! A chance for you to redeem yourself after your string of recent mishaps.”

Starscream sucked in a sharp breath when Megatron shouted his name, but rallied quickly. “Yes, of course, master. I shall not disappoint you—you have my word.”

Megatron scoffed. “I don’t intend to give you the chance. Knock Out will be accompanying you, to see that you behave yourself.”

Soundwave tilted his visor back into Megatron’s view and displayed a new image: a range of steep mountains, with the red dot flashing atop one of the peaks. No place for a car. Megatron frowned, but said, “You’ll go then. I trust that you are more than capable of keeping Starscream in line.”

Soundwave bowed his head. Megatron had always had great faith in Soundwave. Soundwave had always been proud of that.

But he still remembered how quickly Megatron had shifted from venting his ire on Starscream to venting it on Knock Out once Starscream became unavailable.

And he still remembered how quickly Megatron had replaced Soundwave with Orion Pax.

He wondered how far down the line of officers Megatron would have to go before Soundwave became the next acceptable target; and how much was Megatron’s faith in him really worth, then, if it was conditional on maintaining a buffer of punching bags between them?

When they were well outside Megatron’s hearing range, Starscream turned to Soundwave and said, ”I assure you, I do not need to be 'kept in line.' The very thought is ridiculous!" Starscream laughed; it wasn't convincing. "It's the Autobots that we need to be wary of. You keep your watchful optics peeled for them while I retrieve the fossil, and we'll have no trouble at all!"

Soundwave thought Starscream was doing enough talking for the both of them, so he made no reply.

He transformed and waited for Starscream to follow suit before he opened a bridge; flew through; shut the bridge, immediately transformed back, and landed; and waited for Starscream, who’d shot off into the distance, to realize that Soundwave had stopped and circle back. “What’s the matter? Autobots?” Starscream looked around at the empty grassy plain. “Where’s the mountain range?” He transformed and landed as well. “Soundwave, are these the correct coordinates?”

Soundwave nodded.

A second bridge opened and Shockwave approached. Starscream took a step back, wings shooting up in alarm. His wings had been telegraphing his every mood since he came back from exile. “What’s going on?” he snapped. “Soundwave? What is this?” He crouched, clearly ready to spring into the air and transform.

Soundwave couldn’t fault Starscream for being wary. He’d had experience with being lured out alone to be tortured. Soundwave held up a hand toward Shockwave, gesturing for him to stop.

Shockwave halted. “We wanted to speak to you where Megatron can’t overhear.

Starscream looked between them nervously. “Okay,” he said, uncertainly. “Why?”

“We have been analyzing the last few years of the Decepticons’ progress,” Shockwave said. “Or, rather, the Decepticons’ decline. We've been bleeding energon, soldiers, resources, and advantages. Our conclusion is that, without new leadership, the Decepticon Army will soon perish.”

Starscream flinched. “No, that’s impossible,” he said. “There’s—there’s hardly half a dozen Autobots. We’ve all but won the war on numbers alone.”

“‘For over two years, our’—‘amount of soldiers’—‘has steadily declined.’”

Starscream studied Soundwave’s visor, then Shockwave. “You’re serious about this?” he asked. “But—no. You can’t possibly be. Are you?”

“Have you ever known me to play practical jokes?” Shockwave asked.

“‘We require only a cadaver’—‘Megatron’s.’” There was no point in mincing words. Starscream needed to know they were past the point of mere hypothetical musing. The words Soundwave had just spoken were grounds enough for execution—if he was willing to risk saying them, then he was willing to risk putting them into action.

Starscream reeled back like he’d been struck, and started pacing. “You are. No. You can’t be serious.” He wrung his hands together fearfully. “You can’t! Especially not you.” He glowered at Soundwave. “You stopped me when I wanted to pull the plug on him—now, now you want him dead? Impossible.”

“‘I have been a fool.’”

“Don’t you dare use my words against me! Why are you ready to betray him now when you weren’t when we had the chance?”

“‘Megatron’s greatest mistake was’—‘dooming Cybertron to remain a lifeless husk.’”

For a moment, grief and rage flickered in Starscream’s optics—the same grief and rage that Soundwave felt every time he replayed the sword cutting through the Omega Lock—but then he squeezed his optics shut and shook his head, pacing faster. “This is all behind me. I am loyal to Lord Megatron, now! I’ve no interest in being a party to any—any attempted usurpations! I don’t know why you’d want me anyway,” he laughed a shade hysterically, “I can’t seem to do anything right lately—“

“‘Megatron is deliberately sabotaging one of his first lieutenants.’ ‘You’—‘see more than most.’”

Starscream’s optics flashed back on. He froze, face twisted in pain. For a moment he didn’t speak.

Soundwave took a step closer. Starscream stepped back. “You’re mocking me,” he hissed, voice thick.

“Your confidence has been damaged,” Shockwave said. “Deliberately and systematically, I believe, from my review of your recorded session with the cortical psychic patch.” Starscream flinched. “Nevertheless, we both believe that you are capable of recovering and would serve our needs where Megatron would not.”

“‘Starscream is the better option’—‘for’—‘the leader of an army.’”

His wings lay flat and trembling along his back. His face contorted through several expressions in rapid succession—confusion, hope, fury, despair—but settled on distrust. “This is clearly a trap. You’re trying to lure me into saying something compromising so you can snip the recording out of context and tell Megatron I’m up to my old tricks.“

Soundwave tipped his chin up, catching Starscream’s attention so he’d notice the little red dot he’d started blinking in the corner of his visor—yes, it was true, he was recording as always—then unfolded Laserbeak just far enough from his chest to extract a slim data drive with a tiny microphone. It had a matching blinking red light; it was still recording.

“We had thought you might fear that,” Shockwave said. “An offering of mutually-assured destruction.” Soundwave held out the drive. “Should you agree to assist us and we betray you, you can present your own evidence to Megatron. We will go down together.”

Starscream took one step toward Soundwave, hesitated, then took another, hand stretched out to slide the drive from Soundwave’s fingertips—as though he was afraid to get too close to him. “And if I go and present this recording to Megatron right now?”

“If you’re right that this is a trap, then you will win Megatron’s favor for passing his test,” Shockwave said. “If our offer is sincere, you’ll still win his favor for exposing two traitors.”

“And if this is indeed a test and I keep the recording, I doom myself.” Starscream’s hand squeezed tight around the drive. “Then there’s no reason for me not to take it to him right now, is there?”

“‘A chance for’—‘personally terminating’—‘Megatron.’”

He continued to stare at the drive in his hand, expression still dark and distrustful.

Soundwave was sure Megatron hadn’t broken him all the way. Somewhere in him, he still wanted this—whether for a chance to lead or just for a chance to get out from under Megatron, Soundwave didn’t know. But he did want it.

But he couldn’t trust it enough to take the chance.

And Soundwave didn’t blame him.

Soundwave took a slow, cautious step closer, and whispered, as soft as a ghost carried on a breeze over the plain: ”’Please, I beg of you, do not betray me.’”

Starscream sucked a breath in.

“‘Recall how many millions of years we have been fellow officers—I'm sure I've never said it, but I truly hold you in the greatest esteem’—”

"Don't," Starscream hissed. "I said whatever I thought I had to, you can't blame me—"

“—‘and were the situation reversed I would certainly not betray you.’”

Starscream fell silent.

He stared at Soundwave, then at the drive in his hand.

"No," he said softly. "You didn't betray me."

He slid the drive away into a wrist compartment, and looked up at the two of them. "So. If we go down, we all go down together—is that the deal?" He spoke now with some facsimile of the bravado he used to be able to wear before his exile—it was a haggard, worn, jaded bravado now, but it was reassuring to see it back on Starscream all the same.

"That seems the most mutually acceptable arrangement," Shockwave said.

"'Acceptable.'" Soundwave nodded. "'Deal?'—'Are you willing to make the ultimate sacrifice?'"

Starscream shuddered at Megatron's words; but, all the same, he nodded. "As long as I don't have to risk making it by myself."

With Shockwave’s voice, Soundwave promised, "'Starscream is not alone.'"

###

[thadelightfulone]

The Firm - Chapter 5

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Summary: Erik has been hired to find an embezzler for an old friend. Now, the investigation begins. 

Pairing: Erik x Black!OC

Genre: Suspense

Words: 6K+

Erik inhales and exhales deeply as he contemplates what Green said about LaNyah being the favor. Running his fingers along the rim of his whiskey glass, he sighs.

--- 17 Years Earlier ---

Green and Stevens are completing a late night run on base when Green is no longer by his side. Stevens jogs backwards to where he stopped. “What’s up, man?”

“What do you think of Bridges?” Green leans forward stretching his lower back then stands up straight leaning on his left as he waits for Stevens to answer him.

Still jogging in place, “What do I think of her? She’s a team member, and she’s good at what she does. Why?”

“You think she has anyone back home?” Stevens stops all movement and sneers at Green.

“Really, man? The only female on the squad? You sure know how to pick them.” He smacks Green on the back before continuing back to their barracks.

Green starts back up, “And what? Tell me you never checked her out.” Catching up to Stevens as they reach the door to their room.

“I never said all that. I just know what I am here to do. And that does not include sleeping or engaging in any kind of personal relationship with another officer.” He put his hands up, “But if that is what you want to do, by all means. You are both grown and can make your own decisions.”

Erik smiles to himself. Green’s perseverance served him well when it came to becoming Bridges’ permanent protector. Those two have been through anything, and everything life has thrown at them, and they have done it side by side. Erik admired that about them both.

He thinks back to LaNyah and why Green would want him to protect her. What does she need protecting from? Does Bridges know that Green has him working with one of her girls? The favor has always meant a life and death type of circumstance since he assisted with something that could have ended his own life and career. Green has to be keeping something else from him. And now, not only does he need to find out who the embezzler is; he is gonna have to protect LaNyah from whatever he finds out about them.

Finishing his drink and the meal, Erik used the money Green left to settle the tab. He picks up the office keys and gathers his suit jacket as he leaves the restaurant. Driving back to his condo, he mentally begins comparing Bridges and LaNyah. This will give him a starting point for his investigation because someone thought she was the perfect fall guy for this scheme. And he needs to know why.

Grateful that he chose a place so close to downtown, he makes it home in no time. Placing his jacket and briefcase in the closet, and the keys on the counter; he walks towards the room he made his office. Pulling out a notepad, he starts writing and voicing his thoughts.

First thing is the switch in her mannerisms when it came to talking shop, or in her case, numbers. Clearly, this girl is a whiz with accounting and math. He recalls that on the reports there was a tag, LC150907 on the bottom usually attached to the person who created the document. Her initials and the date, but the way her date is formatted makes him grin. Since there is no 15th month of the year, she must put the year first followed by the month and year. It’s not common but he has seen it before, and he uses it himself. Clever girl, so at least he would be able to figure out which reports are her originals and then what is someone else’s work.

LaNyah’s work gives her some sense of control. He understands that because Bridges became a shell of her former self after the incident. The only time anyone saw the old Bridges was when she was talking communications. But that didn’t last long when they could not convince her to go back out in the field. She resigned her post and found her current career counseling other victims of rape and extreme PTSD/PTSS cases. Erik smiles as he recalls Bridges walking across the stage to receive her Masters in Counseling. She didn’t notice him, and he made sure of that, but he knew he could not miss that big moment in her life. She had come a long way.

For LaNyah to work with Bridges, it must have been the most extreme of cases. If she has been able to work and keep herself together for the last 3 years, according to Green, then he has to be worried about her mental health more than anything. He can’t lose someone who he has grown close to similarly to how he was with Bridges. Sighing Erik puts his pen down. He and Green naturally felt this need to protect Bridges even before the attack, but this is different. They know her, and they know him, and yet somehow he is supposed to both protect her and find this embezzler who clearly will be coming for her, too. “DAMNIT, Green!”

--- Conversation, Date and Time Unknown ---

“We may have a problem.” The voice shakily whispers after answering the burner phone. Walking over to the office door, they look out and down the hall to make sure no one is around. When the coast was clear, they closed the door.

“WHAT NOW?” The person on the other end squawks. Tapping on the desk, looking around at their associates.

“She has been meeting with Green.” Sitting back down and with a clear voice. “A lot lately.”

“SPIT IT OUT! I only called for an update, not this gossip mess; you think I want to hear.” Pointing to two individuals in the room, mouthing – “Go follow him, NOW!”

“I think she figured it out. I think she knows about the missing money.” Cringing at the loud sigh on the other end of the line, sliding back down into their chair.

“And how the fuck would she know about it, genius? It is your fucking job Mr. Supervisor to double check her work. So, how?” Now standing up to walk the room, stopping by a chair.

“I do, I do. I fix it before I send it off. All her numbers match and are logged into the system per protocol. Then I manually change everything; I know she doesn’t have access to go back and check anything after I approve her reports.” The response is rushed, and their heartbeat increases as they finally take in some air.

Picking up a bat and swinging it through the air, all that can be heard is a whooshing sound. “You know how important this is to me. I know I do not have to tell you how important it is for this to happen exactly as I have planned. And I know you know what will happen to you if I do not succeed.” There is a scream on the receiving end as the bat connects to something solid. “Now, I am sending some back up your way to keep you on task. Don’t let me down.” Dropping the steel bat to the floor, “Do I make myself clear?”

“Cr-cr-crystal.”

“Good. Toss the phone.” The caller hangs up as the desk jockey bursts into tears, their distress reaching fever pitch. They know what they heard on the phone. But who was that?

“This girl is gonna get me killed.” Picking up their cell phone, they call a number. “Please pick up. Pretty please. Pick. Up. The. Phone.” They begin to hyperventilate. The line rings three more times.

“Hello?”

“Pack a bag. I need to get you to safety.” Saying a silent prayer, “Do not ask me any questions; I will tell you what I can when I pick you up.”

---

Looking down at his list, Erik feels a bit easier about how to approach things at GBI. He flips through all the pages of notes and his planned course of action to this entire project. There is a solid plan for LaNyah and for him to follow. Of course, his plan is subject to change based on what he discovers but at least, it is a start.

The main focus is on LaNyah and how all the moving pieces of this investigation will affect her. He needs to make sure that she stays fixated on the reports and following the money if he needs her to go that far. He will conduct his inquiry into who has motive to steal the money and why trying to make sure that he does not pull LaNyah into it as much as he can. He has to be the buffer between whatever the both of them find amid their review of the missing money. The latter is going to be hard to do since he has no idea what awaits him as he follows any leads. However, he understands that this is exactly why Green brought him in.

He stands up, running his hands through his dreads and stretching his arms overhead. Erik walks out of the office and heads to the bedroom; calling it a night. Tomorrow is the first day of working with LaNyah, and he hopes it goes well.

--- The Next Morning ---

LaNyah grabs her purse, tea and briefcase walking out the door to her apartment and locks it. Humming a tune, she gets in her car and drives to work. “Today will be a great day! I radiate self-esteem, inner peace, love, and happiness…” she recites an affirmation that she hasn’t had to use in a while. Whenever she is preparing for a big change, whether at home or work, she focuses on projecting the confidence she needs to make it a normal part of her routine. She started last night and is continuing into this morning, as working with Erik will become her new norm.

After leaving the café and her visit with Ashley, she spent the night watching her new favorite pastime, cooking and baking competitions. There is something comforting about watching people cook, bake and create masterpieces with food. The love and care they put into it. Besides crossword puzzles and playing Sudoku with both letters and numbers, LaNyah has been looking for those kind of outlets. She enjoys cooking and even started meal prepping on a weekly basis, which helps with making sure she regularly eats throughout the day. She couldn’t imagine putting herself out there like that, but she does enjoy watching those who are fine with it.  

Curled up on her couch in her favorite onesie with her snacks, her mind drifted briefly to what she discovered with Ashley about her possible crush on her new boss. But how can one crush on someone they don’t even know; and Ashley was acting really strange about that, too. She said it was ok and just new for her like she needed something else to worry about besides just working with him; but was there something about the whole thing that Ash left out? Meh, one thing at a time. She needed to focus on adjusting to directly reporting to someone and a brand new person at that. Shrugging and shaking off those thoughts Nyah lost herself in cakes, breads, and showstoppers until she went to sleep.

--- 8:30am ---

Parked and ready for the day, LaNyah grabs all her things and walks into the building lobby. She greets the Security guard with a wave and a smile as she makes her way to the elevator banks. The middle elevator arrives, and she steps on to it. Feeling a calm that did not exist due to her rough start yesterday, she is looking forward to whatever comes her way. “Bring it on day. I am ready for you.”

LaNyah runs her hands down her burgundy dress while looking at the elevator numbers climb, she won’t be stopping at her normal floor but directly to the top floor, 35. She is reporting to Erik in Green’s office today. Her work tote full of her colored pens, note pads, and the reports from her mini-investigation. Closing her eyes briefly, she recalls her first day at Greenbridge Investments, Inc.  

---3 Years Ago---

Ashley helped LaNyah get this job. After LaNyah finished getting her accounting degree, she knew she wanted to put it to good use as soon as possible. Ashley has been everything to her since she was assigned to her case a little more than a year ago. Nyah doesn’t even know how she managed to luck out with a counselor like Ashley, but she has been a Godsend and for her to continue supporting her even though her program is complete has been amazing. Guess it is true when they say it is all about whom you know because she already has a job and was never formally interviewed. A bit of divine timing as well since the company was short a budget analyst and that was right up her alley.

LaNyah stands outside the entrance to GBI, looking at the high-rise office building. Ashley walks up to her and links her arm with hers. “Are you ready for your first day?”

“Ashley, why didn’t I decide to work from home?”

“You wanted to work on your interactions with others.” LaNyah sighs and leans on Ashley’s shoulder. “It’s ok; I am here for today while you are shown the ropes and then you can work out any specifics with Alex.” Standing up straight, Ashley and LaNyah walk into the building and onto the elevator.

“Where are we meeting him?”

“He said his office,” Ashley presses the button for the 35th floor. “He wants to briefly discuss your position and required tasks before he shows you to your office.”

LaNyah squeals, “I can’t believe he is giving me an office. My own office, personal space and all.” Ashley smiles at her excitement. They both turn forward when the elevator dings at their floor.

Stepping off the elevator, LaNyah notices that there is really only one office on the floor and a reception area. Ashley introduces her to Stacey, Alex’s assistant. She leads them into his office where he hugs his wife.

“Good morning beautiful.” He releases Ashley and walks over to LaNyah. “Hello LaNyah, it is so good to see you again,” he shakes her hand.

“Hi Mr. Green. And thank you again for this opportunity,” she enthusiastically shakes his hand in return.

“Now, now, I just hired you. You have done all the work.” He pulls back and waves them over to have a seat on the couch, grabbing a folder he sits at a chair in front of his desk. “So, how are you feeling today?”

“A lot nervous, but I am ready to get to work.” She smiles up at him.

“I’m glad to hear that. So, I wanted to go over some job specifics, sign a few documents and then we can go to where you will be working. Sound good?” She nods in the affirmative.

Green spent the next hour going over the projects and funds that would be her responsibility. He walked her through the programs and software that she would be using, including how to access the reports that she would need to complete her weekly analyses. As they went through everything, Green brought Stacey in to set up LaNyah’s access to all the GBI databases that she would be using, explaining the mandatory 90-day password change on all her accounts.

Ashley quietly observed LaNyah who did not look overwhelmed which she was worried about, but she looked like a child eager to watch and learn, soaking everything up like a sponge. She tried not to laugh when she brought out her colored pencils and small notebook that had flowers and birds all over it. Nyah flipped page after page over to include all her notes even though Green told her that printed manuals were in her office and she has electronic copies if she preferred that as well.        

After Green explained all her access and the reports, he decided to take her down to meet her team and her immediate supervisor. Riding down to the 31st floor, she gripped her bag a little tighter, “I can do this. I can do this.” Ashley looks over at her LaNyah and rubs her back in a soothing manner, nodding her head. Walking through the floor, past all these open and shared cubicles, Nyah realizes he put her along the side wall, so not too close but not too far. She smiles to herself, he does understand.

Green unlocks the door and allows both women to pass him. “LaNyah, this is your space to do whatever you want with. Within reason, of course.” He winks at her, and she smiles brightly at him. Ashley stands back, and Nyah walks forward to run her hands along the front of the mahogany desk. Walking around it, she looks out across her office. Two small windows with blinds on either side of the door she just passed through. One guest chair is off to the left, and a small table stand is in the right corner of the room. The walls are a stark white, but that will change once she adds her personal touches to the space. She sits down in the mesh ergonomic chair, placing her hands flat on the desk, looking at the dual-monitor setup.

It may be small but it is her own space, and she can join the outside office world or stay in for her comfort. “This is so freaking awesome.” She squeals and twirls around in the chair until she catches the soft chuckling in the background. “Oh my god, did I say that out loud?” Ashley just smirks, and Green’s laugh gets louder.

“It’s ok, sweetheart. I am sure we have all had moments such as this.” He moves over to her and shows her some of the special features of her desk and the filing cabinet behind her. “Everything has locks on it, both for security purposes of the sensitive materials you will be handling but also, for any personal items that you want to bring and keep away from prying eyes.” She hears a click as he opens a small drawer and it releases a deep drawer that opens directly under the desk, which can only be seen from the view of the person sitting at the desk.

“Wow! So, I am free to bring some of my things to help when -” she stops short, and Green hands her the office keys while nodding at her.

“Yes, for when things become too much. I figured you may want a special drawer for those things.” Standing up and moving back near Ashley, “What do you think?”

LaNyah takes one more look from left to right around the office and closes the desk drawers. “I LOVE IT!” She stands up and walks over to Green and Ashley, “I don’t have many things to call my own, but I am so excited about this opportunity and for you working with my accommodations, Mr. Green.” She gives him a huge hug and quickly releases him when she hears a cough at the door.

“Excuse me; I hope I am not interrupting anything. You wanted to see me, Mr. Green,” a short man with dark brown wavy hair, buttoning up his suit jacket leans against the door to LaNyah’s office.

“Ahhh yes, Matthew. Please let me introduce you to LaNyah Cole. She will be the new analyst on your team.” Matthew steps forward into the office while Green blocks his move, ushering Ashley and Nyah outside. LaNyah locks the office door behind her and turns to shake Matthew’s hand. “LaNyah, this is Matthew Stone. He will be your team leader and supervisor. All your weekly reconcile reports go to this man here.”

“Hi Matthew, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi LaNyah, everyone calls me Matt. And the pleasure is all mine.” He smiles at her, and she shrinks back as his eyes roam along her body. “I look forward to working with you.” LaNyah shakes her hand loose from his grip and moves closer to Ashley.

Ashley links arms with her, while Green stares down Matthew. “So, LaNyah does not officially start working down here until next week. She will be conducting her training with Stacey to get her comfortable with how your team works.” Matt nods absently, and Green firmly slaps him on the back.

“Uh yeah, ok. I can introduce her to everyone else at our weekly meeting then.” He straightens up as Green nods. “Mr. Green, Mrs. Bridges, LaNyah; I will see you all later.” He makes a quick exit.

The air around them seems to clear up, and everyone takes a deep breath. Green waves them to start walking back to the elevator bank. “Shall we break for lunch?”

“YES!” LaNyah and Ashley yell out as they step onto the elevator. Green laughs and hits the lobby button.

--- 8:00am ---

Erik has been in the office since 7:30, so he could get a jump on a few things. He managed to beat Stacey in, which put her straight to work. She rushed around getting his access codes for the databases and all the files that Green pulled when he started his dig through the financial reports. When she was ready, she took a seat to she show him how the databases worked.

“Here is the icon for the main company database. The list of employees that I gave you includes their identifying usernames. That will be helpful for you when narrowing down any search queries.” Walking him through using her username as an example, he follows along and takes a few notes.  

“Stacey, how long have you worked here?”

“With the company, 7 years now. I originally started out on the accounting floor as an analyst and after a reorganizing project; Mr. Green personally hired me to replace his long-time assistant who was retiring. So, I have been up here for about 3 years now.”

“3 years, huh? So, were you up here when he hired LaNyah Cole?”

“As a matter of fact, I had only been in this office for a couple months when she was brought in.” She moves to set up his email and SharePoint account for some of the archived and special reports.

“Brought in?” Erik was stunned; Green bypassed his own company’s protocol to hire her?

“She was another personal hire by Mr. Green. I guess while they were planning to hire someone to replace the vacancy I left behind, he stepped in and handled it himself,” she shrugs. “I helped organize the space for her office downstairs. Lucky girl, I was working in an open cubicle on the floor.”

Erik nodded taking in this new bit of information. She has been given special treatment since she walked through the front doors. He’s surprised her name isn’t Greenbridge for all the two of them are doing and have apparently done for her. She might as well be their daughter with the way they are taking care of her. He literally smacks himself, how could he forget that?

Shaking off the uncomfortable thought, he continues with his probe. “Does she work with your previous team or are there a few new folks?”

“Same team, even down to the lead.” She finished programming his computer desktop with all the programs he would need for the files and reports that he will be running and reviewing.

“Are you sure, you aren’t an IT tech? This is a lot for you to be doing without additional help.”

“Why do you think Green chose me? He doesn’t have to deal with company IT when he has his own specialist.” She winks up at him. “All done,” she stands up and gives him back his seat. “Want some coffee before your day truly begins?”

“Yeah, black thanks.” He follows her eyes to the boxes of files sitting in the corner of the room. “And don’t you dare move those boxes. You have done enough already. Let me move those into the conference room.”

“You’re the boss.” She throws her hands up laughing and leaves the office.    

Bringing his coffee back, Stacey briefs him on what she will be doing while he is working on his projects for Green. Any company inquiries and regular business-related tasks are her responsibility, but she is available to him for assistance regarding company policies, procedures and the employees. She walks out as the elevator bell dings alerting them both to someone’s arrival on the floor.

Stacey arrives at her desk as LaNyah steps off the elevator. “Good morning LaNyah. Can I get you something?”

Shaking her head, LaNyah stops at her desk and responds, “No, thank you, Stacey. I am ok for now.” She looks around, “Is there someplace I can put my lunch though. I have no idea if I will make it back to my own desk today.”

Stacey stands up and shows her to the full-size refrigerator near the coffee bar. “Whenever you need to put something away while you are here, feel free to use the fridge. Also, a lil birdie told me you are more of a tea person, so I got you some assorted teas.” She shows her where they are and how to make her own cup.

Smiling brightly, she thanks, Stacey. “I guess I am gonna be up here a lot, huh?”

Stacey nods at her, “I don’t think it will be too bad. Not having a door to shut out unnecessary noise and conversations will not be a problem since it will only be three people on this floor.” LaNyah looks around agreeing with Stacey as they walk back to her desk.

“You’re right.” Lightly hopping from one side to another, “Do you think he is ready for me?” Stacey laughs while LaNyah scrunches her face at her. She didn’t say anything funny.

“I think he is all set. Go right on in.” LaNyah flashes another bright smile at Stacey before turning on her feet to Green’s, uhhh, Erik’s office.

Erik followed their interactions since LaNyah stepped onto the floor. Clearly, she is comfortable around Stacey. He is grateful for that; it will definitely work in his favor. He watches as Stacey shows her around and then stop at her desk, wringing her fingers with nervous energy. Why does LaNyah look confused while Stacey is laughing? He sits back in his chair, before jumping to his feet as he notices LaNyah moving to the office.

He opens the door and lets her in, “Good Morning LaNyah.”

“Good morning, Mr. Stevens.”

“No need for formalities; just call me, Erik.” He points to the chair in front of the desk, and he sits in the one next to hers. He watches her tense up, before breathing deeply and then relaxing.

“Ok, Erik.”

“Good, good.” He pulls some files around from in front of the computer. “So, I thought we could chat a bit before moving on to the big bad project.” LaNyah chokes back a laugh. “Oh, that’s funny to you?”

She shakes her head, “No, but I am glad I am not the only one thinking it is a lot.” Crossing her hands over her legs, “I know it’s important but I have never been a part of such a big thing before, and I am a bit nervous about it.”

Nodding in understanding, “So, let’s start there. What is your work experience like?” He sets the folders back on the desk and turns towards LaNyah.

“Do you mean like overall or just here at GBI?”

“Overall.”

“This is my first official job.” Erik’s head bobs since he figured as much. Her file went from school to work in a straight timeline with no overlap. “Mr. Green gave me the job right after I graduated from college. I have a degree in accounting,” she rambles on.

“Ok, so how did you get the job?” Erik watches as LaNyah’s shoulders suddenly lift and lock up, she also looks anywhere except in his direction and is clinching her hands. He did notice that she has not made any eye contact with him, but looks at his forehead above his eyes making it appear that she is looking at him while talking. This sudden change in demeanor shows that she clearly does not like or enjoy talking about herself. “If you care to share. If not, we can get right to work. Whatever you decide is fine with me.”

LaNyah looks out the windows, breathing calmly. “Ashley got it for me.”

“Ashley. Green’s wife, Ashley?” LaNyah shakes her head in the affirmative. “Ok. She’s good people. Always looking out for others.”

“Yeah, more than you know,” Nyah mumbles to herself, but Erik heard and lets her think she kept that comment to herself.

“Alright, you ready to tackle this beast of a project?” Erik picks up the folders again.

“Wait!? What about you?” LaNyah blurts out a bit louder than she expected, shirking back after asking.

“What do you want to know?” He looks at her, as she looks at the folders in his hands.

Not looking at him she asks, “How do you know Mr. Green?”

“We served in the military together.” LaNyah nods while looking at her hands. Actually, all three of us did.”

She glances up at him. “Oh,” softly floats out. Did Ashley recognize him from his page? She obviously knew the name. Is that why she was acting so nonchalant about her working with him? And what about the crush stuff? Oh good grief, they both know him and have her working with him on this. What is going on here? A military friend whom they never mentioned and now he pops up?

Erik observes LaNyah’s fluttering eyes; she is going through all these questions but asking and saying nothing. “LaNyah?” Nothing. “LaNyah,” he calls out a little louder. Her facial expressions stop like he reached her, but she says nothing. “You good?”

Taking a deep breath, “Ummm yeah, I think we should just start working on the project if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing.” He hands a folder to her. LaNyah takes out a flower pen for any notes that she may need as they start talking shop. Erik starts by explaining that they would have working meetings throughout the week, either from 9-11am or 1-3pm. If they needed to meet longer based on their findings, then they would just make it a full day. She will still be responsible for her regular daily and weekly tasks, so no one picks up on her new assignment. Today will be a full day in his office so that she can answer any questions he has about the funds that she oversees. “What days work better for you to meet?”

“We have weekly team meetings on Tuesday mornings, so if you want to meet it would have to be in the afternoon. But Tuesdays and Thursdays are good because I usually have the reconcile reports and all data entry completed by Wednesday.”

“Sounds good to me. Tuesdays from 1-3pm and then Thursdays from 9-11am.”

Next discussion is about which accounts to focus on first and which can be addressed later. The whole time Erik is speaking, he watches LaNyah take color-coded notes in a pink composition book. She double checks before adding specific notes on the borders. Anyone else would think she was doodling in class, but clearly, there is a tried and true practice to her note taking.  

“So, the Scholarship account is first. How do you want to approach that?” LaNyah asked after flipping over to a new page. This doesn’t seem so bad after all. He is very organized, so this will be helpful as I add the new project to my regular duties.  

“I think it would be easier for us to split up the work. I know that Green had you go back about 6 months. I would like you to go back 3 years.” Erik responds to her question while she thinks about how accommodating he has been. He is building the investigation around her routine and she appreciates that.

“Oh, wait a second.” She leans over to her tote bag on the floor. “I actually have 2 years already.” Nyah hands Erik a purple folder full of monthly documents going back to a year after she started. “The originals from when I first reconciled the reports are in my office. I can go grab those for you.”

“Wow, you are good.” She shyly smiles at him. “Thank you; this is good for now.” He looks at the reports in front of him, “Actually, why don’t you go and get them. And then we can run the last year of monthly reports from here.”

LaNyah jumps up, “Okie dokie. I will be right back.” She turns to walk out the door, “To clarify, you want all three years of the weekly reports for the account correct?”

“Yes ma’am,” Erik responds as he stands up to stretch, and LaNyah quickly looks him up and down before she turns away smiling. She scurries off to the elevator, tapping her feet as she waits for it to arrive.

After LaNyah heads downstairs, Erik hears laughter up front. Walking out to see Stacey dabbing her eyes. “I see you are going to be trouble.”

“Did I miss something?” Erik quips while standing in the doorway.

Shaking her head, “No, not at all. I know you know.” Before she could elaborate, her phone rings. “Poor dear,” she breathes out while picking up the phone.

Erik pouts at Stacey mouthing, “What about me?” She waves him off and laughs, turning back into the office. He decides to move the boxes into the conference room while he waits for LaNyah to return.

---  

LaNyah walks onto the 31st floor and makes a beeline straight to her office, only to run into something solid coming from the breakroom.

“Hi LaNyah, where have you been?” She sighs as Matt moves into her line of vision.

Straightening out her dress, she responds. “I have a meeting upstairs.” Shifting to her left, Matt blocks her path. “In fact, I came down to grab some things for it.” She moves again, and Matt is right there. “Could you please move? I need to get to my office.”

“You know you have to run all additional projects and assignments through me.” He stands right in front of the door. “I am your supervisor after all, and if I feel like you are doing too much, then I can handle the load myself.”

She nudges past him, and he almost topples over. “Actually, I am not working on anything new. I am asking Stacey for help on a current project. So, if you don’t mind.” She pulls her keys out of her cardigan pocket.

Matt covers the door, “What project LaNyah, I don’t have you working on anything new.” His voice grows cold, and he reaches out grabbing her arm. She squeals and draws attention to them. “Look away; this has nothing to do with you.” LaNyah twists out of his grasp.

“Nevermind, I will come back for what I need later. I am already taking too long.” She run walks back to the elevator back. On the elevator, she clasps her hands in front of her and starts rocking back and forth.

The elevator opens back up on the 35th floor, but no one comes out. Sniffling can be heard from inside the elevator, but still no movement. Erik had left the conference room when he heard the bell and looks over to Stacey who appears just as confused. The elevator door is wide open, but no one has stepped off. Right as the elevator starts buzzing signaling the need to close or move, a small brown hand curls around the edge. The sound stops and the doors move back to an open position as LaNyah walks off.

Erik runs over but stops short, standing in front of her but not crowding her. “LaNyah, are you ok?” She looks dazed and blinks back the tears that are threatening to fall.

“I just- just need a moment.” Erik waves towards the bathroom and LaNyah runs over to it, locking herself inside.

Stacey walks over to Erik as they watch for movement from the bathroom. “Can you make her a cup of tea for when she finally gets out?”

“Of course, do you want me to set her up in the office?”

“No, she’ll need some open air. We can work in the conference room. Just make sure she is comfortable.” He walks to the elevator, “Guess, I am meeting the team sooner rather than later. Wish me luck.” His eyes darken as he winks at Stacey before the elevator door closes.

A/N: I’m back and hope to regularly update this story. Thank you for those who have stuck around. I had no idea it had been so long. The taglist is always open for anyone who wants to be added. 

Taglist: @killmongersaidheyauntie​ @dacosmicdame​ @muse-of-mbaku​ @panthergoddessbast​ @youreadthatright​ @princessstevens​ @amethyst1993​ @stark-red19​ @kreolemami​ @bidibidibombaclaat​ @iamrheaspeaks​ @missumuch1918​ @simplyyamberr​ @cheychey10142​ @ajspencer1892​ @chrismarcs​ @loosewindmill​ @sydneebleu​ @semianta​ @eyeknowmywrites​ @alexundefined​ @itsjustmezari​ @whoramilaje​

Chapter 6

[florenceisnottrash]

Sleepless rainy night (Yuto x Reader)

A fanfiction inspired by the latest release of IU – Sleepless rainy night

Genre: Smut, fluff, strangers, student!au

words: 3853

Summary: The end of term’s been killing you, spending most of your free time in cafés. You could really use some distraction... good thing the hot stranger studying across you feels the same.

The sound of rain hitting a window never fails to calm me down, although rain itself does a pretty good job. Perhaps it’s the constant tickling of the droplets abruptly ending their course on the window or the intense run between those droplets to find out which one is going to be part of the puddle first.

Yes, my thoughts wander a lot while studying, however I can’t allow myself to be distracted, not when finals are around the corner and surely not when I have 8 classes to study for in only 2 weeks.

A coffee shop seemed to be the best option. Studying home is a big no, too many distractions. The cat wants to be fed, my dad absolutely wants to know what I want to eat for dinner and the remains of the chocolate cake we had last night are permanently in my sight. School? I could’ve studied there, I love how calm and quiet the library is, there’s just too many people during the end of term. The only places left, if you are lucky enough to get one, are the ones close to the windows and believe me, you don’t want to be there, the difference between outside and inside is imperceptible. Yes, the isolation is that bad.

A coffee shop is perfect for late night studying. Since it’s further away from another coffee shop, there are practically no one from school, they can’t be bothered to walk the extra mile when there’s a café just outside of school. That’s why it’s perfect, less people means my favourite seat will probably be empty, and I’ll be able to sit beside the window, back against the wall and in selfimposed withdrawal from the bigger room. Unfortunately, my spot’s already been taken by a guy wearing a black hoodie over his head with round glasses, nose in his computer probably wondering how he can magically transform 14 weeks of Cs into an A in 2 weeks. I take the other spot near the same window, it’s not as well located as my favourite spot but, I can still manage to hear the rain make its beautiful song.

After 5 hours of intense studying in history and international politics, I lean back on my chair and allow myself a well-deserved break. My gaze drifts outside, on the businesswoman, the students and retired speed-walking on the sidewalk, wanting to spend less time as possible in this awful weather. I could be the cliché college student and say how I wish I could be them, having a steady job, being done with work forever or simply having 3 classes instead of 8. But I’m aware that my situation isn’t that bad, it’s not bad at all, actually. Those people have their own worries that I don’t know about, that’s why I’m content with the life I have now, if it becomes too much, everything is in my power to change my situation.

Proud of my positive thinking, I take a sip of my coffee and frown in disgust, I love coffee, but nothing makes me cringe more than when it turns cold. I get up, take a 2$ coin out of my purse and go to the counter, passing by the distressed-hoodie-and-glasses-guy and notice the cute toad-shaped post-it in his pencil case. I smile. He doesn’t seem like a post-it kind of guy.

“Muriel, do you happen to know the impacts of the term “plurality of globalizations” on globalization itself? Because I’m about to go crazy over this stupid sociology research” I say leaning my forehead on the counter.

“Ohoh Y/N” She giggles. “I may not know any of those sociology terms, but I know how to make the best coffee in town! Should I make you another one?” “Yes please, your coffees are the only thing keeping me sane, those teachers are crazy with all their assignments.”

She tilts her head and gently slides the mug on the counter, adding a whisper of cocoa on the whipped cream.

“Y/N I can’t wait for the day you’ll realise how lucky you are to be struggling with those papers and homework, someday you’ll thank your teachers for the hell they’ve put you through. But for now, enjoy a hot drink!” She winks and hands me the much too filed mug.

I took the last sip of my coffee and raised my head off my laptop after about another 2 hours of work. It’s dark outside. Good thing the shop stays open late, I don’t want to go home before I finish this goddamn research. There’s visibly less clients now, only an elderly couple doing the cross-word in today’s newspaper, a man sipping his coffee, two students ranting about how their history teacher gives the hardest homework but never fails to articulate his class in a way everyone can easily understand, and the hoodie guy is still here. From my place, I can barely see his face. However, I can say without a doubt that he’s tall and strongly built. If his face looks as flawless as his body, this boy could be a heartbreaker.

“God Y/N get a grip you’re not here to analyse how pretty the boy on the next table is.” I whisper while lightly tapping my cheeks to wake me up from my daydream.

As if he read my mind, he ran a hand through his hair, making his hood fall back, revealing his strong jawbone, sleepy eyes, sloppy hair and leaned back on his chair, creating a sexy mess. I’m totally staring too much, but I can’t help it, the way he looks so damn sexy while making zero apparent efforts is mesmerizing. He closes his eyes, lets out a sigh and sat back straight, focusing once more on his computer. The sight before me is a thousand times more interesting than my own computer right now. Eventually, I get a grip and snap back into reality, I must finish this paper or I’ll be in trouble.

Eventually, I got to the point where I met most the requirements for the research and added the last period to the word document, after 36 pages of tears, pain and suffering. There’s still the damn question about the plurality of globalizations, which I’ll do after the power nap I’ve been dreaming about since 10am. Now it’s 6pm and I think I did enough effort to grant myself a sweet 20 minutes nap and attack the last question of the day. I push my computer to the side, lay my arms onto the table and rest my head over them and relax for the next minutes.

Good thing I set up an alarm because I’d be gone for the night at this rate, the power nap did wonders on me, and I convinced globalization is going to be a lot more understandable than it was before.

I lift my head and see the handsome guy from across my seat closing his laptop and putting it back into its case before getting up and leaving the café. The good thing is that I’ll won’t be distracted anymore by how stunning he looks; the sad thing is that I’m sure I’ll still be distracted by the lingering memories of this guy’s sharp jawline and the well-defined body under his black hoodie. Disappointed I lift my head and before setting my gaze back to my computer, my eyes met a mug of coffee with whipped cream and cocoa on top, with a toad-shaped post-it stick on it.

“Sociology might be hard, but nothing is impossible with a cup of coffee, don’t you think? Keep working hard - Yuto”

I read the note again in disbelief, and read it once more. Impusively, I grap the post-it and run outside to find the only person who could possibly be Yuto. I swing the door open and lift a hand over my head, even though the heavy rain will still make my hair wet and make up run. The left side of the street is empty, except for a stance and hoodie I could spot thousand miles away, walking slowing while letting the rain drench his transparent umbrella. I run over to where Yuto is and stand in front of him, making him cutely jump and take a step back. Drench and out of breath I wipe a drip of rain from my cheek and exhale.

“I’m Y/N, would you mind drinking that coffee together? I’m pretty sure my sociology essay can wait.”

He smiles and leans the umbrella in a way we both get to be away from the storm and freezing drops of rain.

“I could use some distraction from all this studying too.”

We all have one. One special someone that you met once, whose personality matches yours completely. Someone with whom it just clicks. I’m not that spirituous I won’t say things like “We were meant to be” or “it was our destiny to be brought together today”. I’ll just say that my encounter with Yuto could be a sort of faithful coincidence.

When we went back inside the shop after I ran like a psychopath to him and litteraly asked a total stranger for coffee. My sociology essay quickly flew in the back of my mind while I was gathering my things to let Yuto sit in front of me by the window. He ordered 2 small sized macchiato, making sure it was because we already had too much coffee for today, and not because he was cheap. “I’m pretty sure that even this tiny cup could leave me with a stroke or an heartbeat of 200 bps!” I said to him as Muriel lowered our two cups in front of us, with a clearly visible smirk on her aging face. I grabbed my coffee with two hands and raised it to my lips in hopes my flushed cheeks would remain out of sight.

How long as it been? I check the time for the first time since Yuto and I reentered the café: its 9:30 pm. I let down my phone on the table and continued the conversation I had with Yuto while having in mind the approaching time of closure of the café.

“How come I’ve never seen you in school before? We litteraly have the same teacher in 3 different classes” I say, narrowing my eyes and tilting my head in confusion.

“This may sound like I’m a creep, which I’m surely not, but I’ve seen you quite a bit around here”

I open my eyes wider in surprise.

“I think we both like spending time in this café, it’s where I saw you for the first time. You were having an argument with the barista about if you should drop out or not!” he recalls with a giggle.

“Muriel was convinced having 3 essays due the same day was an easy task for “someone as studious as I am”, little does she know 101% of the time, I’m having a mental breakdown because of school and the only thing keeping me going is the anxiety of performances” I say looking to the side, rubbing the back of my neck. The pressure of this date took over me and made me talk shit, wouldn’t be surprised if he leaves for the bathroom and never come back.

“I like how genuine you are while talking to me, even though we’ve known each other for 3 hours.” He laughs

I have absolutely no idea if he did it on purpose, but I swear the way his leg touched mine under the table just a minute ago is too much of a coincidence to mean nothing.

After a couple of minute of being much too aware of the proximity of our legs, the powerful gaze I can barely maintain, those stupid smirks that make my heart skip about ten thousand beats and his broad shoulders keeping me from looking anywhere else, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I don’t need to pee or anything, I just need 2 minutes of rationalisation.

How come the sexiest fucking guy I’ve ever seen pops up in the café, asks me for a date, buys me macchiato and touches my leg? It can’t possibly be true, maybe your best friend paid him? Why would she, she’s too absorbed in her own relationships to think of something as stupid as this. Ok, it might be just a combination of welcomed coincidences and I shouldn’t try to find the “why” of all this. What should I do about the sexual tension that made me escape to the bathroom because it was too much to bear? Seriously I just can’t resist Yuto. A single gaze could make my knees waver and weak, good thing I was sitting down the whole time. I look at myself one last time and repeat “I can do this, it’s a once in a lifetime chance” multiple times in my head like a mantra. Pushing the door, I’m ready to confront the tension that’s between us head first.

“Muriel told me it’s closing time in 20 minutes, she still lets us finish the coffee she “prepared with all her love” and to be honest, I’m going to listen to her because her coffees are simply amazing” he said taking a long sip of the coffee mug that is completely invisible under his strong, slender and manly hand. We continue talking, and my tone becomes a flirtier than before, I slide the leg crossed over the other alongside Yuto’s long one with each joke, and continue the conversation as if nothing happened. I was enjoying it, knowing I could flirt with Yuto without the slight concerned, because I already made up my mind: I will not let this faithful meeting slip between my fingers. Yuto seemed on board too, he would sit further from his seat for me to have better access to his leg, and wouldn’t miss a chance to touch my hand while explaining his stories and such.

It wasn’t lustful acts, we simply have this special connection that made these sorts of interactions flow like water; and the two of us seem to enjoy the turn of events.

“We should go, Muriel has been eyeing me the door for the past minute and seems to have had a long day” I say, dejected by the fact I’ll have to part ways with Yuto, those hours really made my day 200% better.

“Thank you for today, I owe you a lot, you made me forget about my finals for a couple of hours and seriously, that’s all I’ve been asking for the past week”

“Who said we had to part ways?” he says taking his umbrella and backpack and pushing his chair back

“Eh?”

“I could show you my favourite place in town, my friends and I always go there to hang out when we want to be alone. It’s not that far away from here! And luck’s on our side, it stopped raining.”

Alone.

Alone. Why does he want to be alone? I surely don’t mind at all. But I’m wondering if his alone means the same thing as my alone. Too absorbed by my thoughts I completely forget about the person in front of me.

“I’m sorry I assumed you wanted to spend more time with me but it’s completely up to you! We can still part ways! For my money, I’d love to spend more time with you but if you don’t wish too its real-

“Let’s go” I smile while I grab my bag in one hand and Yuto’s hand in the other and left the café.

“You assumed right, I’d love to spend more time with you. Show me the place you were talking about, you’ve picked my curiosity.”

It really wasn’t far at all, we exited the building of the café and took the emergency stairs of the same building to reveal the rooftop. It wasn’t glamourous at all, let alone romantic. In fact, it was exciting, new and adventurous.

“Are we allowed to be here?”

He looks my way with a deadly smirk. “Nope!”

Both of us laugh, he helps my climb the last two steps of the stairs and get across the edges of the roofs. The shabyness of the place makes it even more interesting, there wasn’t much on the roof, only pebbles, two chairs and a coffee table in one corner of the roof and the vent which is about two meters tall in the very center of the place. What was the surprising thing about this place is how breathtaking it could be. Being in a place only few know about, having the prettiest view of the town and the starry night and how the moonlight could make Yuto’s honey skin glow.

I don’t know what got into me. Maybe it’s the thrill of being in a place we shouldn’t have been? Maybe it’s because I feel and unbearable attraction towards Yuto? Well right now it does not matter, as I am centimeters away from Yuto’s lips, one hand on the nap of his neck and this other caressing his cheeks. My boldness ignited something in him, as if he’s been restraining himself for a while, and I finally gave him access to everything he’s been thirsty for.

“Is this ok with you? Because I can’t bear it anymore” he said, whispering softly between my lips, still a breath away from each other.

Even without words, my answer to his question was as clear as water, I crashed my lips on his releasing the tension I’ve been feeling for hours now. At first, Yuto was still unsure of how to react to my advances, his kisses were soft, loving and his touch was shy. As my hands wander across his body, making their way on his godly built chest and down to the aim of his shirt, he became more eager and impatient. His kisses formed a trail from my lips to my cheeks, continuing its course to my ear.

“I can’t look away from you”

The whisper sent a shiver down my spine, leaving my knees weak and my core aching. He continued his trail to my neck, taking this opportunity to slide my hand under his shit, feeling his well-defined muscles over my fingertips.

Without realizing your back hit the cold and solid material of the vent leaving you defenseless against the dangerously sexy man in front of me. The sight is beautiful, making my aching core throb as Yuto placed his knee between my legs, leaving a better access to my sentitive spot, rubbing the place that’s been craving his touch.

At this point, Yuto began gaining more confidence, he knew what made you react the best, and used it against you, you were being controlled by his kisses, words and touch. His slender and big hands folded my breast has if he’s been doing this since forever, he knew exactly how to make me moan, and found the deepest pleasure when I did in his ears.

“Y/N, you are driving me crazy, I can’t control myself”

He was trying his best not to frighten you and to go gently despite his urge to make you feel amazingly good. You wanted to reassure him, make him know that he didn’t have to hold back, because I needed him as much as he needed me.

I locked eyes with him, panting, lips red and swollen from the make out session. When he felt my hand surrounding his and directing it towards the aim of my skirt, Yuto understood exactly what I wanted him to do and took the reins from here. He lifted my jeans skirt to reveal my long legs, and he immediately traced the curves of my thigh with his warm and needy fingertips.

The stoke of lighting I felt all over my body when he stroked my folds with his finger felt as though I was flying. The strokes began being quicker and stronger and I could barely stand still without the help of Yuto’s strong arm. I was panting hard into his neck, making his even hornier as he was. I felt my high coming in a rush and begged Yuto to go faster to finally reach my climax.

“.. Yuto… Don’t.. Stop please… I’m cuming” I whispered in his neck while kissing the depth of his long and slim neck.

As I was about to let out my pleasure, he withdrew his fingers and placed them on his softly parted flushed lips, before licking them and tasting my juice.

“You don’t deserve cuming with fingers, you deserve much better” He said, licking the last bit of my dignity left on his fingers and taking out a condom of his pocket.

“Is this still okay with you?” He said with a worried but hurried look in his eyes. Then again, you didn’t feel the need to reply with words, because unbuckling his pants speaks way louder than words. Pushing down his black holed pants, he revealed his throbbing cock that’s been screaming for release till you started teasing each other under the table.

You lower yourself to be facing Yuto’s member, but he stops you midway.

“I’m the one making you feel good tonight Y/N, I can wait”

He then again, crashed his lips on mine, hungrier than ever, wanting to make sure I’m completely drowned in him. Being mesmerized by his lips and tongue intertwined with mine, I can barely pay attention to what’s going on down there. Yuto brushes my inside some more with his skilled finger before carefully sliding my panties down to reveal my drenched and needy pussy.

“Yuto, I want you in me..”

He swallows

“Now”

Before I knew, he presses his cock against my entrance and enters my walls perfectly, leaving space only for pleasure and lust. He starts off slowly, making sure I wasn’t hurting and quickly became finding his own pace, which was fast. He pounded my core with such power I could feel my legs anymore, thy were slowly giving up on me, just like I gave up resisting to Yuto. He raised one of my leg up with his strong arms and continued his ascent to his own high, while I was busy building mine. Our lips were barely touching, but there was nothing sexier than him moaning and taking shaky breath against my lips. As quickly as it started, my high came like a wave, ignited by Yuto’s hot and throbbing cock releasing his load in me. Rested against the vent, and Yuto’s body covering mine, we both waited until our breath stabilized before looking at each other in the eyes, reflecting the brightness of the moonlight.

“I think I’ll need you phone number” Yuto states, clearly shoving his embarrassment.

I pecked his lips with a quick and caring kiss.

“I thought you’d never ask”

MASTERLIST

[fourtrisheafanfic]

Dust of Snow (jonerys ff)

Title: Dust of Snow

Rating: Mature

Ao3 Link: (X)

Tumblr story - White as Snow: (X)

Summary: Dust of Snow is a jonerys one-shot written for the 2018 Jonerys Valentine’s Week. I selected the Prompt Day 4 - - Feb. 17: Public Sex! Six months have passed when we catch up with Jon and Dany from my previous story “White as Snow”. Things will get interesting at Robb’s summer wedding. I highly recommend reading White as Snow first (4 chapters long). **I have no rights to these characters, all belong to HBO and Author, George R.R. Martin**

Chapter Summary: First part of this one-shot is a series of excerpts from the very end of the White as Snow story. The new story will begin at the summer wedding of Jon’s brother to Talisa. Jon and Dany have both recently graduated from undergrad and are 22 years old. Although they became a romantic couple during the previous winter break, they have kept it a secret from many people in order for Dany’s father and Jon’s stepmother not to find out.

RECAP OF WHERE WHITE AS SNOW ENDED (Part IV): Jon and Daenerys were 22 years old, and coincidentally ended up the Stark home during a terrible snow storm over winter break of their senior year of college. Dany having been in a minor car accident and needing somewhere to spend the night. Jon having surprised his siblings with a visit home. The pair had a heated discussions about their past, thus unveiling many misconceptions between them. True love prevailed in the end.

EXCERPTS FROM PART IV OF WHITE AS SNOW: A refresher for those that have already White as Snow in full. I still recommend reading the four part short story in full before reading this one-shot.

+++#1+++

Jon wants to explain himself, "Dany, it's not that I don't want to see you, it's because - - "

Cutting him off, "Please don't say anything else. Let's not fight, I have accepted how things are."

"And what is that?" Jon asks.

"Let's see, I have always been the one to try with you. Never once have you tried to fight for me!" she mumbles painfully, hating how bitter she sounds.

His mouth falls open, thinking over their friendship over the years and he knows she has a point. He should have fought for her, been honest with her. "Dany, you are right, I made mistakes, and I just grew up doubting myself...in every aspect of my life."

She gets so frustrated with Jon, angry tears filling her eyes. "Yes, your life sucked. It killed me all those years to see you hurting, but guess what?! You are not the only person that had problems in life. Although different, I was so lonely growing up. You never asked me about my problems... my drug addict brother, controlling father, all the times I felt so alone.”

Jon's eyes fills with tears, all this times he never was there for her. The person he loved the most. He felt sick.

"I was so stupid, I really thought..." Dany stops, catching herself. She isn't willing to go there. Not now.

"What? What did you think?" Jon pushes, desperately trying to blink back his tears.

Dany says, "I was just a stupid girl, I convinced myself that you loved me too. But we all know that actions speak louder than words. I see it now, you never cared for me, at least not the way that I wanted you to. And that is okay."

Jon eyes flashing with pain while stepping closer to her, "I swear to you, I have loved you since I was eight years old! And I never stopped."

+++#2+++

"Jon, I need to be honest with you. I feel like you never once tried to win me back. You never tried to fix things between us. And that hurts me," she whispers painfully.

A look of confusion appears on Jon's face, "I hate I made you feel that way, and probably too late, but I did try! I wrote you!"

"What?" Dany asks, genuinely confused.

They hear a commotion in the hallway and then quick, loud knocks on Jon's bedroom door.

Quickly opening the door to find a very upset Arya standing in the hallway. Arya begins to explain that she went into her mother's room to begin setting up so Dany could stay there tonight. When she went into the closet to get clean sheets she found something.

"Jon! I am so sorry, I see it now. I really see it. I can't deny it, mother must hate you so much to hurt you this way," Arya wipes angry tears off her cheeks, but they keep flowing.

"You wrote those letters while you were still here for winter break last year, and you begged me to mail them to Daenerys at Brown. I promised you I would mail them myself!" Arya gasps sadly, the pain clear on her face.

Dany's ears perk up at hearing her name, what is going on?

"But I was busy, so I asked mother to drop them in the mail for me! She promised me she did," Arya frowns.

Jon looks at the small stack of his letters, he poured his heart out to Dany. Writing out all of the things he should have said to her in person. But she never saw them. Because his stepmother, Catelyn, never sent them. Of all the things this woman has done to him, even the cruel things when he was a child, this one hurts the most.

Jon then noticing the letters had all been opened, he cringes imagining that Catelyn probably read them all.

+++#3+++

"Jon, may I read the letters now?" Dany asks softly, hoping he will say yes.

Jon nods his head for yes and places them in her hands. He meant every word he penned, she deserves to hear the truth. Even if it is too late now.

As Dany reads them she is overcome with emotion. His words are so open and raw.

He tells her about his childhood, the things she didn't see. The things he never showed her. He also tells her that meeting her at the lowest point in his life played a big role in who he was today. He describes what he thought of her, how kind and sweet she was. How he was amazed upon getting to know her that her inner beauty could be a hundred times more than her exterior beauty.

Jon then tells her how no girl ever compared to her. She was the person he compared everyone and anyone too. But he also was dealing with years and years of neglect and scorn at home. It made him feel small, while he saw her as strength and perfection.

Jon then tells her what it meant to him, to spend time with her as a young man. Realizing how his childhood adoration because a passion he didn't know existed. He admits that even thinking about her would be enough to make him feel desire, she was the literally the only person he could ever imagine being with.

From the first kiss they shared when they were fifteen, she set the standard for all others. She was his everything.

And then Jon tells her why he was so upset about her lies, he does admit that aside from being so sick of a life filled with lies and half-truths -- a large part of it was his injured "pride" and he realized it shortly after. He also felt sick for the way he spoke to her, and he hated himself for walking away from her as she cried.

And then he promises her, that although he tried to be happy with another, he realized that no woman would ever compare to her or have his heart the way that she always would.

He ends his letter professing his love and begging her to give him a chance to prove himself to her. He knows he has a lot of work to do, and he doesn't expect anything from her. He just wants a chance to try, because he loves her and he believes that he can make her happy.

Jon ends his letter listing out his cell, address and email address and asking her to please let him know.

Dany puts the last letter back in the envelope, seeing that although all three have stamps and her name and address clearly written - - there is no sign of being processed through the post office. Catelyn never even tried to mail them.

Dany shakes with bitterness, that awful woman. Dany will never forgive Catelyn Stark for all that she had cost them.

+++#4+++

Dany goes downstairs to join Jon in making dinner. He looks up nervously as she enters the kitchen.

Dany's heart is racing as she walks over to him and pulls him into a hug, the tension leaving his body as he pulls her close. They hold each other in silence for a few minutes until Dany can't wait any longer.

Placing her hand on his cheek, "I forgive you, Jon Snow." His eyes light up hearing the words.

Dany presses her lips to his as she moves her hand to gently pull on the dark curls at the base of his neck. Jon pulls her even closer, pressing their bodies together as their kisses deepen, their tongues exploring each other's mouth.

Taking a moment to breathe as she gasps, her knees shake as Jon squeezes her hips and kisses her jaw and neck gently.

"Jon, we have to do better. No more lies, no more hidden resentments, we need to talk to each other. No more secrets between us," Dany says as Jon kisses lower to suck on her collarbone..

"Yes, I agree, Dany," Jon says firmly.

"You are right, and I know we can do it. You are still my best friend and the person I want to be honest with. I want to be that for you too," Jon pledges as the couple smiles and kiss slowly.

"Dany, will you be my girlfriend?" Jon asks slowly, feeling a little nervous.

"Absolutely, I love you, Jon Snow." Dany says with a huge smile.

"I love you too," Jon says kissing her.

Finally the lovers run upstairs giggling with anticipation and nervousness. In the hallway Dany grabs Jon's hand and pulls him away from his bedroom.

"Dany? My room is the other way, where are you going?" he asks with confusion.

She pulls him to Catelyn's bedroom and gives him a wicked smile. "I am taking you into her room so that we can make love all night long in her bed. And her shower, and her closet, her dresser, etc."

Jon's eyes widen as his jaw literally drops.

"I imagine us, maybe five years from now, we will still be together of course," Dany whispers seductively in his ear as he nods in agreement, "suffering the company of your wicked evil stepmother at some random family function and we can share a smile, knowing that the first time you came in mouth was while lying on her bed."

Dany gently bites his earlobe when finished and Jon has to breathe in and out to calm himself.

"I like how you think, my love," Jon laughs as they enter Catelyn's room and lock the door behind them.

+++#5+++

The lovers collapse together on the bed, holding each other with adoration.

Jon's mouth gaping open as he tries to catch his breath. Making love to Dany is like nothing he has ever experienced before. He imagines it's the combination of her sweet body and his complete adoration of this woman that makes it extraordinary.

Dany can't stop smiling, never realizing how important this piece of a relationship is. Who knew? She wonders happily.

"Jon, I need to be honest with you," she says seriously, still breathing roughly to catch her breath. She smiles realizing her core is still pulsing with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Jon rolls over to look at her carefully, "What is it? Are you okay?" Concern etched on his face.

Dany places her hand on his heart realizing it is pounding furiously, "I am never going to let you go, even if I need to chain you to a wall and make you my sex prisoner. I just wanted to be upfront about it."

Jon bursts out laughing and holds her tight, kissing her passionately.

They look around the room, Dany commenting that Catelyn's dresser looks very sturdy.

+++o+++

+++o+++ +++o+++

  ++o+ Age 22 ~ Summer after College Graduation +o++

 “Jon, are you even listening to me?” Robb calls to his brother from across the room while getting his haircut. “I know you miss your woman, but today is literally my day. I am getting married, as best man I need you to focus. And when I say focus, I mean focus on me!”

Jon chuckles, knowing his brother is partly right. He was zoned out and thinking about Dany. He hasn’t seen her in three full weeks, the distance caused by their summer jobs is killing him.

“Actually, it is Talisa’s day more than yours. She is the bride. You need to just relax!” Jon teases, laughing harder at the indignant scowl on Robb’s face. Jon can’t believe Robb has been acting like a larger diva than his bride during this wedding weekend.

“Speaking of relaxing, what time is Daenerys landing?” Robb asks carefully. “That sucks that her earlier flight was cancelled.”

Jon and Daenerys Targaryen have been together for six months now, they did the long distance thing while Jon was finishing school at NYU and Dany at Brown. At least being close, the couple saw each other almost every weekend and have been very happy. This summer had been a challenge as both had made previous commitments that forced them to live in different states.

In NYC, Jon has a summer teaching practicum while in Chicago. While Dany is working at Targaryen Industries this summer. She is diving into the family business while her brother, Viserys, is in rehab once again. Her father was to accompany Dany to Robb and Talisa’s wedding, but he needed to return to Europe to deal with her brother. The pressure on Dany has increased as it becomes more and more obvious that Viserys drug problem is not going to resolve itself anytime soon.

Hearing Robb mention his and Dany’s relationship so loudly, Jon’ eyes widen as he checks the room. He’s making sure no one was around that could overhear Robb.

“I wish you could see the look on your face, you are the one that needs to relax. Mother isn’t even at the hotel yet, she is at the church doing a final walkthrough with wedding planner and Talisa’s mom,” Robb explains. “I still don’t understand why you and Dany have decided to keep your relationship a secret!”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Jon sighs. “Catelyn is your mom and supports and adores you. Dany and I don’t have anything remotely like that from your mom or Dany’s father. We just wanted to enjoy each other and keep things as uncomplicated as possible.”

Robb nods, he can’t argue with that. He doesn’t know a lot about Aerys Targaryen, but he does know that Jon and Catelyn have a very tumultuous relationship. Robb cringes remembering the terrible fit his mother had when Robb and Talisa told her that Jon would be his best man. She normally hides her great disdain for Jon in front of others, but she lost it. She was furious that Robb would even think to select Jon over Bran or Rick. Robb adores his younger brothers, but he wanted Jon as the best man.

Talisa was so shocked by her outburst that she left the room to give mother and son privacy. Robb refused to budge, and to this day has endured his mother’s disappointed looks whenever Jon and the wedding are mentioned. Robb hasn’t had the heart to even mention it to his brother. Robb also knows that Jon tries to avoid Catelyn at every turn.

Luckily there have been very few wedding events that needed the best man and mother of the groom to be together. Until now at least, with the wedding today, Robb knows that Jon and his mother will put their differences behind them for his and Talisa’s big day.

“Your secret is safe with me! I just think it sucks that you and the woman you love will be at my kickass wedding and have to pretend you are just friends!” Robb laughs.

“No shit, I can’t believe Dany’s new flight won’t make it time for me to even see her alone before the wedding. She feels terrible that she will have to miss the start of the ceremony,” Jon reminds Robb. Dany and Talisa have become very close and she feels as though she is letting her friend down on her wedding day.

“It happens, please let her know not to give it a second thought,” Robb tells Jon. “Talisa was sad but completely understands!”

Jon smiles, his heart skipping a beat. He can’t wait to get Dany alone and hold her in his arms.

+++o+++ +++o+++

“Dany! We have an extra seat at the bridal party table, since your father couldn’t make it and you are a party of one, I squeezed you in,” Talisa calls over her shoulder while posing for the professional wedding photos. “I have the actual seats assigned, it is table 1. You can’t miss it!”

Dany smiles at her friend, seeing right through her plan to make sure that she gets to sit with Jon this evening.

Dany and Jon lock eyes, she can’t believe they haven’t had a moment alone to properly say hello after being apart for three weeks. It was rotten luck that her plane had so many mechanical issues, causing her delay.

But this is a wedding, of two people she cares deeply about. Today is about them. She and Jon will have their happy reunion after this is done.

Dany waves goodbye to all of the Starks and a few groomsmen she knows from Brown before entering the ballroom of the Kimberly Hotel in Manhattan. Everything is absolutely stunning, the cocktail hour is in full swing.

Dany sits at the large 12 person table while waiting for the bridal party to finish their photos. For nice chit chat Dany has a couple of other people at her table already, they are significant others of some of the bridal party that is still taking photos. Dany is pleased to see that her name tag was seated directly next to Jon. Even though they will be acting as only being friends, she longs to be close to him. She has missed him terribly.

Dany smiles as two of Talisa’s bridesmaids rush over to table, they are giggling while checking each of the name tags at their table.

“Ugh! I told Talisa I wanted to sit next to him, he is single after all. Robb is on his other side, since he is the best man,” a very pretty blond whispers to her friend, pouting.

Knowing immediately that the young woman is speaking about Jon, Dany feels her stomach drop. Why does this woman want to sit next to him? The bridesmaids direct their attention to Daenerys, examining her closely.

“Hi, I am Valerie. I was really hoping to sit next to the best man tonight. Would you be willing to switch seats--” she begins before being cut off by the arrival of the rest of the bridal party.

Daenerys is thankful for the interruption as she was completely caught off guard from the pretty woman’s request. As Jon, takes his seat he smiles politely at Valerie and her other friend before greeting Dany. As they always maintain in public, he is friendly but gives away no inclination that there is anything special between them.

Jon steals sideways glances of his beautiful love sitting beside him. Her dress is exquisite, it is cream with black polka dots throughout. The top front dips down quite nicely to show off her incredible cleavage, the back is open to showcase her creamy skin. The bottom is more modest, an A-line dress that falls to the floor.

She looks amazing, Jon can’t wait to have her alone in order to tell her exactly what he thinks of her dress.

Still reeling from hearing that Valerie woman talk about Jon. Dany reminds herself that it is an important night for Jon’s family and pushes her brief interaction with Valerie aside. She smiles politely at Jon before congratulating Robb and Talisa. As the wedding meal begins, the salad course being served, it becomes obvious to Dany that ‘Val’ is interested in Jon, romantically. And she has been for a while.

As Robb and Talisa have left the table to begin visiting with their wedding guests, Val slides into Robb’s seat so that she can talk to Jon. Dany sips on her wine, motioning for the server to bring her another glass. She is going to need it tonight, hoping the constant flow of alcohol in her mouth will help her to control her mouth this evening.

“Jon, you are so handsome. I’m still baffled that you are single,” Val says sweetly while placing her hand on his arm. She smiles at him flirtatiously as Jon shifts uncomfortably. Stealing a side glance at Dany who rolls her eyes while taking a large sip of her wine. “How is your summer teaching practicum going? Teaching is such a noble profession.”

“It is going well, Val. You are too kind,” Jon says cautiously, moving his hand to grab his glass. Then taking a sip of his water. The movement of his arm making Val’s hand fall off.

“I meant what I said last time we had drinks, I really want to go out on a date with you,” Val purrs. “I mean a real date this time.”

Dany almost drops her wine glass. Thankfully it was already empty. Jon shoots Dany a sideways glance, praying she will understand that it’s not what it sounds like.

“Val, it was nice meeting you at the bridal party gathering Robb and Talisa organized at the start of the summer. As I told you then, I am just not dating right now. I am flattered, but it is not a good time for me,” Jon says firmly, frowning as Dany has basically turned her body away from him. She is now speaking to the couple on her other side. The groomsmen having been a student at Brown and in Robb’s fraternity.

“Well, even if you aren’t interested in ‘dating’ we are both young, single, attractive and at this wedding,” Val says while leaning close to Jon and whispering in his ear. She speaks lowly so that Dany and everyone else at the table can’t hear. Dany is seething when she sees that Jon’s face turns red as his eyes guiltily meet hers.

Dany is growing more and more furious by the moment. This time she asks the server for red wine, if she ends up flinging her drink at Val she would like to maximize the damage.

Robb and Talisa return to the table, their eyes widening at seeing Val seated next to Jon. To Val’s credit the moment she sees them, she jumps out of Robb’s seat and motions for him to sit. Talisa shoots her friend a meaningful glance. She has told Val repeatedly to forget about Jon Snow, while also having her hands tied over the explaining the true reason.

“Dany…” Jon whispers, he hates what just happened. He knows he would be pretty upset if their roles had been reversed. Before he can continue a woman to Dany’s right begins speaking to the table.

“Daenerys, whatever happened between you and Drogo? God, the two of you were such a sexy couple. That man had incredible sex appeal,” the girlfriend of another of Robb’s fraternity brothers asks. She has a huge smile and lifts her glass to Dany. “To Drogo, and his hotness!”

Dany laughs uncomfortably while raising her glass as well, along with the other women at the table who know Drogo from their time at Brown University. Jon lowers his eyes, remembering the beast of a man he met New Years of his junior year. Jon is not a complete idiot, knowing that Drogo is a very attractive guy. Shit, even Drogo knew it.

“Well?” another woman pushes, looking Dany pointedly.

“Nothing that interesting to tell. We dated while in college, but we weren’t a great match,” Dany says quietly. “Drogo and I ended on good terms, but we don’t stay in touch.”

Dany smiles and takes another sip of her drink while another woman speaks. “He is starting this fall at Harvard Law, he couldn’t be in Robb’s wedding because he is doing volunteer work in Bolivia this summer.”

Dany looks surprised, not having known. She wasn’t lying, they did end on good terms. She is happy to hear his dream of Harvard Law worked out.

Jon remains blank faced during the entire Drogo conversation. What could he possibly say.

It is announced that it is time for the bride and groom to share their first dance while everyone watches from their seats. All eyes focused as Robb leads his lovely wife to the dance floor, Jon turns to talk to Dany.

“Dany, I am so sorry about that. You have to know that I-” Jon whispers.

“That you what? Had some woman hitting on you all damned summer long, and never bothered to mention it to me? A woman I’d get to meet at this wedding,” Dany hisses quietly while turning her chair to face the dance floor. She is pretty pissed, the glass of wine in her hand helping to calm her down, but not a hundred percent successful.

Jon frowns, deciding he’s better off keeping his mouth shut. Especially since he doesn’t want to make a scene at his brother’s wedding reception.

As the song winds down, the DJ welcomes other couples to join the love birds on the dance floor. Jon stands and offers Dany his hand, asking her to dance. If they share a dance, he is hopeful they can talk things out and move past it. Plus he would like any excuse to hold her.

“No thank you, Jon. I just flew in to town and rushed to the wedding straight from the airport. I am really tired,” Dany says politely, although her eyes flashing with anger.

Jon frowns at his girlfriend, disappointed she is saying no to a dance. Pissed or not, he knows she has missed him.

“Jon, I would love to dance with you. Let’s go!” Val says cheerfully as a sense of dread fills Jon’s stomach. Val rises from her seat, an eager smile on her lips.

He is still standing, and the entire table heard Dany decline. What excuse could he possible give to not dance with Val. She is a nice girl and all, just not anyone he’d ever want to date. She’s a little too aggressive which is a turn off for him after dating Ygritte and having been miserable.

Clearing his throat, Jon finally nods in agreement, motioning for Val to lead the way to the dance floor. He steals a glance at Dany who has her face in her wine glass again.

Dany stews in her anger while the slow song plays, she refuses to look in the direction of the dance floor to see Jon and Val dancing. She is suddenly sad, realizing it was petty of her to say no to a dance with her boyfriend. The man she loves, the man she knows loves her.

The song ends and Jon quickly returns to the table, his eyes desperately seeking her out. Dany smiles at him softly. He rushes to sit by her side, whispering in her ear. “Let’s just step out for a moment. It kills me that I haven’t held you, it’s been over three weeks. Please, Dany.”

Dany nods yes as the DJ announces it is time for the father of the bride speech. Jon groans quietly at the timing. Dany smiles as Talisa and Robb rush to take their seats, remembering this is their day. Jon and Dany shrug in defeat, knowing their place is at the table for now.

“I suggest you get really comfortable, my dad has been planning his speech for months. Mom says it is going to be painfully long!” Talisa giggles while leaning into Robb, getting comfortable. The table laughs and smiles as her father reaches the podium, pulling out a small stack of index cards to serve as his guide. Jon and Dany share a look and smile at each other.

As Val returns to the table to take her seat, she quickly leans down to whisper in Jon’s ear while slipping him a plastic key card. “I really enjoyed our dance, I know you don’t want to date. But you should just spend the night with me, no strings attached.”

Jon’s eyes widen in horror, shocked at what Val just said. He turns to apologize to Dany, who gives me him an irritated look.

In that moment the father of the bride speech begins, everyone focuses on him. As the speech continues Jon can feel Val’s eyes burning into him. She is waiting for him to give her a sign that he will be coming to her room that night.

Jon frowns, he can’t even get Robb’s attention because of the way Robb and Talisa have turned their chairs to face her father. Jon is feeling desperate and wanted to get some advice from his now married brother.

Jon groans quietly, feeling defeated. He hopes that Dany will still be willing to talk to him after the father of the bride speech. He considers throwing Val’s key card at her from across the table but decides that would be too crass. She is a quite the aggressor. In his mind he nicknames her Ygritte No. 2, not that he would ever tell Dany that. Even though the nickname is not a compliment, he’s sure Dany wouldn’t appreciate the humor.

Jon sighs in defeat, leaning back in his chair with his legs extended out in front of him at the table. Listening to the speech, realizing that Talisa’s dad is just now speaking about his thoughts when his wife was still pregnant with the bride, Jon predicts that this speech is going to take a minimum of twenty minutes.

Suddenly Jon feels Dany’s hand lying directly on the crotch area of his pants. He jumps slightly, meeting her eyes. His beautiful girlfriend smiles at him innocently, as if her hand wasn’t touching his dick above his clothes. Jon looks around nervously, thankfully the long table cloth covers his waist and it isn’t possible to tell that Dany’s arm is on his lap and not her own while under the table.

Dany watches the speech while stroking up and down Jon’s shaft over his dress pants. Jon bites the inside of his cheek, trying to relax as his cock hardens. Dany is stroking him, he’s now aroused enough that she can make out the thick head of his cock as it strains against his pants. She circles the head with her fingers, even pressing the tip over his pants.

Jon momentarily closes his eyes, the pleasure he feels growing as each moment passes. It takes her just a moment, and she does it quickly, to pop the button of his slacks before lowering the zipper.

“Dany…” Jon whispers hoarsely in warning. Feeling her hand slip down his pants as she wraps her fingers around his hard cock causing him to lose the ability to speak. Jon has to close his eyes to fight off the urge to buck his hips into her hand.

Dany smiles smugly as she pulls his cock out of his pants and fists his shaft before stroking him up and down, Jon almost jumps out of his seat. His face now bright red, he’s shocked Dany actually pulled his dick out of his pants in the middle of the father of the bride speech.

Jon steals glances at his beautiful woman, Dany looks completely innocent as she appears to concentrate on Talisa’s father. She is driving him insane with lust. Jon decides to lean back in his chair and enjoy the pleasure she is giving him.

Dany begins pressing her thumb against the ridge where his tip meets the shaft, she knows that spot puts him over the edge. Jon’s fights to control his breathing, feeling his balls start to tighten. He places his hand on Dany’s wrist as she works his cock. He needs her to stop. He can’t cum while sitting at this table.

Dany smirks as she tries to keep pleasuring him. Jon tightens his hold on her wrist, signaling that he is serious.

“Stop,” he mumbles. “Now.”

Dany frowns playfully at him, her eyes bright but also glazed. Probably from all of the wine she has had to drink.

Jon makes the quick decision to push his penis back in his pants before Dany can finish her little game. She frowns at him as he pulls out his dress shirt. Jon looks around the room, no one has noticed what they were doing.

Unable to take another moment Jon grabs Daenerys’s hand and leads her out of the ballroom without making eye contact with any other guests. Jon guides her to walk in front of him, also hiding the view of his groin area.

“Where are we going?” Dany whispers playfully, she loves how worked up Jon is. He looks ready to burst.

“Somewhere private,” Jon snaps. He needs to be with her.

Jon leads Dany through the hallway and onto the rooftop bar that has amazing views of the city. Jon remembers hearing that it is reserved for the wedding, but guests would not be invited to enjoy drinks outside until the after party. Jon will finally have Dany all to himself. He needs her desperately.

“Jon, this is beautiful? Is this part of the wedding?” Dany asks, taking in the elegant rooftop with incredible views of the NYC skyline

“It will be, later. Right now, we are alone…and I need you,” Jon says darkly, admiring her dress again, her face flushing as she realizes how serious he is. She knows he is going to make love to her, or fuck her, or probably both.

Jon pulls Dany towards the far end of the rooftop bar, his excitement growing even more now that he knows he is about to take her, and hard.

“You were very wicked, teasing my dick while we were at that table. When you knew damn well that I couldn’t do anything about it,” Jon chastises her as he moves to sit on one of the longue chairs.

Dany gasps, eying him curiously. “And what do you want now?” She asks softly.

“Now? I want one thing,” he says while moving her to stand in front of him as he sits. Bending down, Jon puts his hands on her ankles before slowing moving both of his hands up her toned legs under her dress. “I want you to ride my cock until I come hard.”

Dany gasps at his crudeness. Feeling herself get wet with lust again. She was already getting excited during the incredible hand job she just gave him. She loved touching his cock while that tramp flirted with him. Jon is her man, and she will never let him go.

Dany looks around the open rooftop bar, there are even other buildings that have a clear view of the space.

“Jon, no way. This is a public place and your brother’s wedding. Anyone could come up here at any time,” she pleads. Yes, she wants to be with him but is afraid they will get caught.

“Then you better get to work, Daenerys Targaryen. I need you on my dick, and now,” Jon demands while pushing his face into her breasts. Jon’s teeth moves one side of the front of her dress over, exposing her breast. Dany mewls with anticipation. Jon’s tongue licks her hardened nipple, his hands massaging her ass cheeks.  Dany moans loudly as Jon roughly pulls her down to sit on his lap, pushing up the front of her dress so the material is not between them.

Dany rocks her hips against the bulge in his pants, panting as Jon sucks on her breast. Holding her hips tightly Jon leans up to kiss her mouth, then telling her, “You pulled my cock out while were at the table, I want you to do it again now.”

Dany nods obediently, moving her hand to Jon’s pants. The moment she lowers the zipper his hard dick springs out. She whimpers as she touches him, Jon simultaneously positioning her over him. He needs her now. Dany and Jon cry out as she lowers herself on top of his cock.

“Don’t hold back, I want to feel every part of you,” Jon begs as Dany begins bouncing on his dick. Having been wound so tightly with jealousy all evening Dany finds herself riding him wantonly.

“Yeah, baby. Just like that,” Jon moans while kissing her cleavage, her neck. Adding to the friction of her sweetness around him, he had only moved her thong to the side as she took him in, so the material is rubbing the side of his shaft while as she moves up and down.

“Jon, you feel so good. Fuck!” Dany cries as she feels her body tightening around him. Dany moans loudly as the shockwaves move through her. Jon uses his hands to move her hips while he continues thrusts up to chase his release.

Just as Jon is getting close he hears a voice outside with them.

“Jon! Are you out here?” someone calls from the entrance of the rooftop bar.

Dany gasps, shocked. Jon pulls her closer to him, making sure the bottom of her dress is covering them. She is still on his lap and facing him.

Dany stands quickly, as Jon once again pushes his hard dick back in his pants.

“Who’s there?” Jon barks, annoyed while also freaking out at the same time.

“It’s me, Sam. Um, I think you better get back to the reception right away,” Sam calls, it is obvious that he is not going to get any closer to the couple. Dany’s cheeks are bright red. Jon can’t believe this is even happening. He is pretty sure Sam knew exactly what they were doing, or else he would have just walked over to talk to them.

“I’ll be there in a minute. Thanks, Sam,” Jon says while trying to calm himself and Dany. Jon kisses her hand with reassurance, she looks mortified. Thankfully it was Sam that went to find him. Imagine if it had been one of his sisters or something.

“Jon, they announced your best man speech…and then it became obvious you weren’t there….” Sam stutters. It’s obvious he is so uncomfortable. “You need to hurry, Jon. I’ll see you back in there.”

“Fuck! It is time for my speech already?” Jon hisses as he fixes his clothing. Dany’s eyes widen in horror.

“Just go, you will do great. I don’t think we should walk in together. Just go!” Dany whispers, glances at the entrance to the rooftop bar, Sam has already left.

Jon rushes down the hall, stopping to check himself in a mirror. He takes a moment to make himself look presentable, which is hard to do.

Entering the ballroom the wedding guests burst into cheers at seeing Jon return. Robb and Talisa are laughing and smiling, they aren’t upset at all. Jon apologizes once before diving into his best man speech, which he nails flawlessly. Dany had helped him practice over the phone a dozen times over the last two weeks.

As Jon is speaking and looking into the captivated crowd he accidentally locks eyes with his stepmother, Catelyn. She glares at him hatefully, a terrible scowl on her face.

Jon quickly looks away, he can’t worry about her right now. Today is about Robb, and his speech is about what a fantastic brother and friend Robb is and how happy he is that Robb found someone amazing to share his life with.

As Dany glides quietly into the ballroom she is sad to hear that she has already missed a third of Jon’s speech. Instead of calling attention to herself by walking across the floor to the main table she takes an empty seat at the back of the room.

As Dany continues to listen quietly she feels a chill down her spine, she knows she is being watched. Stealing a glance around the room, all faces are turned away from her and listening to Jon. Dany notes that Val looks enthralled as she watches Jon from the head table. Dany notices that all the wedding guests are looking at Jon.

That is until Dany sees Catelyn Stark is staring at her intently. The woman was actively glaring at her and once they lock eyes the older woman scowls at her and shakes her head in disgust.

Dany frowns but quickly turns away. Dany reminds herself that Catelyn has no idea she and Jon are dating. Dany wants to believe that Catelyn is furious that Jon was late for his speech and is just mad in general.

Sighing, Dany sits back to admire the end of the heartfelt speech Jon gives. This moment is about him, and he deserves her undivided attention.

+++o+++

As the wedding winds down, Dany is able to steal a moment alone with Jon while he is chatting with Arya.

“Jon, does your stepmother know that we are together?” Dany asks Jon quietly, making sure that no one other than he and Arya can hear her.

“No way, she has no idea. Why?” Jon asks.

Suddenly Arya is laughing, “You guys are kidding right?”

The couple look confused before telling Arya that they have purposely been quiet about their relationship. That is why they asked her not to mention it to her mom.

Arya gasps loudly, she had no idea they were serious about that.

“Guys, my mother has known about you since the day she got back from her Colorado New Year’s Ski trip!” Arya shares.

“Wait, what?” Jon says, shocked that his manipulative stepmother has known for many months about he and Dany. “How?”

Arya blushes, but decides that she needs to tell them the entire story.

“Well, I was really upset with her this past winter. You know, when I found out that she didn’t mail Jon’s letter and that she even had the nerve to read them. As you know… After your weekend of love in mother’s room, I had offered to make the room spotless again. You guys were in a rush and leaving to retrieve Dany’s car,” Arya says sheepishly. “Well…”

“Well, what? Arya…” Jon asks, not seeing where this story was going.

“Well that bedroom was trashed, I mean really guys,” Arya says with a laugh, she loves to tease Jon about his great passion for Daenerys Targaryen.

Clearing her throat and wanting to change the subject from the hot sex she and Jon had their first few times together, Dany motions for Arya to finish her story.

“I decided to leave it as is, so mom found it in that condition when she got back from her CO Ski trip!” Arya laughs.

Jon and Dany lock eyes, horrified at hearing this. They had sex all over that bedroom that weekend.

++o+ Flashback +o++

“Arya! What happened to my room?! Did you have a party while I was in Colorado?” Catelyn cries in disbelief. The soiled sheets on her bed being the most disturbing. If she finds out that Arya is sleeping with some random boy, Catelyn will lose her mind.

“Oh mother, I owe you an apology,” Arya says calmly. “You see, Jon and Daenerys finally resolved all of their issues and became a couple. They ended up staying in your room over their visit. And I don’t say that lightly…these two barely left your bedroom.”

A look of horror appears on Catelyn’s face, the image of that boy and the Targaryen heir having sex all over her bedroom making her sick with disgust.

“You see, I had promised to completely clean your bedroom…Just like you had promised me that you would just drop Jon’s letters for Dany by the post office,” Arya frowns at her mother, to this day she hates how low her own mother was willing to stoop…just to be hurtful to her own stepson.

Catelyn steps back in horror, instantly realizing that Arya must have found the hidden letters in her own closet.

“Arya…” Catelyn starts, wanting to make things right. The look of disappointment in your youngest daughter’s eyes is eating away at her.

“Save it mother. What you did to Jon and even Daenerys was cruel. Enjoy cleaning your own room, the good news is that they are in love and are going to be really happy together from here on out. There is nothing you or anyone else can do about it!” Arya snaps before leaving her mother’s bedroom and closing the door behind her.

++o+ Flashback End +o++

Jon and Dany are stunned as Arya goes over her story, and what happened with Jon’s stepmother. Arya then kisses her brother on the cheek and gives Daenerys a hug before excusing herself.

Jon pulls Dany into his arms, smiling sweetly at her. “What do you say, Targaryen?”

“About what?” Dany whispers while resting her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t want to hide any more. I love what we have, I want to celebrate it,” Jon tells her. “Besides, beating these aggressive women off with a stick is getting exhausting to me. I’m hoping once they know I have a girlfriend that the will finally back off… There are just so many of them.”

Dany pinches Jon’s side and then smiles as he laughs. Her previous agony over Val no longer something that irritates her. Dany knows that Jon adores her, only her.

“Let’s do it, Jon Snow. I love you and I don’t want to hide it anymore. But I think we should make our relationship status known after all of the wedding festivities are finished,” Dany concludes. “Today is Robb and Talisa’s special day. We can tell people sometime next week.”

“I agree. And now I want to finish this evening right, and then go to bed with the woman I love most in the world,” Jon sighs softly. “I have loved you my entire life, Dany. And I will never stop.”

“I love you too Jon Snow, I can’t wait to be with you tonight,” Dany says before leaning into a soft kiss.

(Photo credit: Edit made by Tumblr user @motherofdragons86  - check out her awesome work)

Jon leads his woman to the dance floor, and pulls her close for the rest of the wedding reception. They enjoy their time together, while also hopeful about what their future will bring.

++o+ Story End +o++

+++o+++

+++o+++ +++o+++

[royalbluehues]

Sidereal, Part 5

A/N: I am not too sure when I’ll be able to upload next. The end of November is just around the corner and I need to finish my applications. I hope to finish them by the end of next week so I could continue writing during Thanksgiving break. I keep changing what I’m going to write next, and that’s been frustrating me. But here’s a dose of Loki for you; you will meet him next chapter.

Title: Sidereal

Chapter: 5/?

Summary: This is the story of a fallen queen.

Author: royalbluehues

Warnings: None.

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Carrier (noun)

       a person or thing that carries, holds, or conveys something.

Part 5: Carriers.

A messenger ran through the halls of the castle, pushing servants out of his way to locate the King.

“Where is he?” He asked a passing servant holding a jug of water. The servant pointed to the dining hall, and he murmured a quick thank you. The guards were quick to open the doors where the royal family resided. He slowed his pace, switching to a quick walk. The dining hall was long, and the family sat in the back, eating their breakfast as Prince Thor and Prince Loki laughed over a conversation.

“My King,” the messenger bowed, “There is urgent news.” King Odin looked up from his food, his blue eye watching him.“Would you like to hear it in private?”

Odin shook his head, lifting up his drink to his lips. “No. Now what is it, boy?”

“Heimdall has told me that the royal family of Bjartsjord have been assassinated.” The conversation between the two brothers stopped; the Queen whipped her head to the messenger and put her fork down. The messenger fidgeted under their gazes as he continued speaking. “They were assassinated after returning from visiting a village on the outskirts of their country.”

Odin look lost in thought for a bit, and Queen Frigga piped up. “And the girls?”

“Only one daughter is alive. She managed to flee the attack, the rest are dead.” Frigga blinked, sadness washing over her features.

“And where is she now?” Prince Thor asked, setting down the piece of meat he was about to eat.

“She’s on her way here. To Asgard. With the intent of speaking to you.”

“No doubt for assistance.” Prince Loki said, interested in the conversation. He turned toward his mother. “These are the people that rule over the stars, correct?”

“And the moons and the suns. Yes,” Odin answered, “How far is she?”

“She is just reach of the Bjartjord’s trading post. She will be here in an hour or so, with her companion.”

“Thank you, you may go.”

The messenger bowed and left, and Odin sat in silence, pondering what he would do. Frigga pushed her plate away, not feeling hungry anymore. “My father was friends with them. Growing up I would visit their palace every other year. I played with Ake and his sisters. The eldest daughter is younger than Loki by a hundred years or so.”

“Would you like me to greet her when she gets here, Father?” Thor asked, munching on scrambled eggs.

“Yes. Loki may go with you if he’d like.” Thor turned to his younger brother, who was deep in thought.

“I had a few errands that I planned to do this morning. I’m afraid you’ll have to do it yourself.”

Odin took another drink from his cup. “I want you in my study when she arrives. You both must learn what to do in situations like these when they arise.”

“Father, I am sure I will be able to defend myself if an assassination ever attempted to take place.” The golden haired prince said nonchalantly, taking a bite of bacon.

Loki looked in disbelief, lifting an eyebrow at the crown prince. “Are you an imbecile? Or do you enjoy acting as one? He was speaking about foreign affairs, you oaf.”

“Loki,” Frigga warned, she turned to her oldest, “My dear, please don’t say things like that when the girl comes. The Norns only know what she’s gone through.”

Loki wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, stood up and turned to his father. “Well, I have urgent matters I must get to. I will return soon.”

Odin waved a servant over, “Go prepare rooms for our guests.”

She bowed, “Yes my King.”

Boren Rabec looked over the balcony in the King’s quarters. The sun was hidden behind many clouds. The forest looked deadly from where he stood, and the cold air left shivers running down his body. The kingdom below his was quiet, not yet stirring. The wooden scaffold was in sight, but he avoided his eyes from even looking that way. Two arms wrapped around his midsection and he felt her nuzzle into his back. The scar on his left cheek still throbbed, and every time he saw it in the mirror, he cringed. The jagged scar ran from his cheekbone, all the way to the corner of his mouth. Had you had pulled farther down, he’d have been adorned with a longer lip. The healers quickly fixed him up, with a few medicinal herbs and spells. When he saw the falling stars in the sky, he was fearful that somehow King Ake had risen from the dead and would come for him. “Love, come back to bed. It’s too early.”

The night before stressed him like no other. The moon had disappeared, leaving Bjartsjord’s first moonless night in a millenia. The fear that the ormrs would attack the kingdom had his right eye twitching. He reassured with the rest of the council that they would all be safe, as long as the lights of the castle did not dim.

A knock on the door made him turn his head, and the woman around him squealed, giggled and jumped back into bed. Boren retrieved his pants on the floor, pulled them on, and went to open the door.

“My lord, the princess- we have not yet found her. There is no trace of her or that soldier.” Boren looked at the older councilman in annoyance.

“Then she must be dead. She couldn’t have been able to survive a night with the ormrs. She hasn’t even completed her lessons.”

“But the stars and the moons. You don’t suppose she caused them?”

“No. When a turning passes, normally a phenomena occurs,” the lie sounded convincing enough, “I can assure you it is because of them.” A wave of guilt hit him, remembering all the fond times he would spend with Ake and Hillevi; he pushed it aside.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not. But the girl couldn’t have survived, Aslen.”

Aslen nodded. “The council wanted me to relay that we should begin recruiting. Just in case.”

“Yes, caution is always good. Have the masters found out a way to create new everlasting stars?”

The older councilman shook his head, his long white beard doing the same. “No. It’s not something we can craft in an instant, Boren. It might not be something we can make at all.”

Boren grimaced, his head turning to look back to the redhead in bed. “Well we will need to try harder. For now, I want fires all around the perimeter of the castle and to the edge of the forest, until we can find a different solution. Thank you, Aslen.”

He quickly shut the door in his face and walked back to the bed. He sat down on the edge, and raised his hand to lightly skim his new feature.

“If she isn’t dead,” The girl spoke into his ear, “She will die soon.” A hand went up his back.

“I know she will.”

“All she was preoccupied about was having pretty things. She was weak.”

“She was my friend’s daughter. I killed them all,” Boren whispered, looking at a spot on the rug beneath his feet.

“A King does not neglect his people. You had to do what was right; they needed to be rid of.” Renna turned his head and placed her lips on his, and Boren sighed, allowing himself to forget about everything for a bit.

Part 6: The Query.

Not sure what the heck is going on?

Part 1: The Ascent.

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[tiemeupspidey]

Can’t Help Falling in Love with You- Please Don’t Leave Me

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Reader is sick with cancer , Tom comes home after an interview to their son Jaxon crying.. 

Warnings: Swearing cause I love swearing IRL. Plus Tom swears too :,) Dad Tom, Cute Fluff,Adorable,Sad

Word Count:2,500+ Hella long sorry 0.0

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN :,) Look at my post about it to submit to me.

[Reader’s POV]

“Look over here!”

“Are Tom and you going to split?”

“Does he still love you even though you’re sick?” Your eyes stung with tears as you heard that.

  Thankfully your bodyguard pushed them away. How could they ask you if Tom still loves you. You’re married to him, it’s death till you part for fucks sake. Yet death does seem close cause that’s If the cancer doesn’t kill you first…

  Heading home from my chemo treatment session I close my eyes. Your body felt very weak since this morning. Tom’s mother was watching Jaxon till my appointment was finished. His parents have been a huge help since your diagnosis. Nikki also taking wonderful photos of Jax for you.

  A speed bump makes you cringe from the pain. Pulling Tom’s beanie further down so it doesn’t fall off. It was a little difficult adjusting to your no hair lifestyle. Tom would kiss your head every morning saying “you’re beautiful and it’s just hair.. It will grow back” His support helped you through the hard parts of your illness.

“Mrs. Holland, we’re almost to your residence.. Are you feeling alright?” Illianna your chauffeur asks.

“Y-yes” I say with a small smile. Holding the puke bag in front of you. I could feel bile rising to my throat. Swallowing the liquid before it could surface. It was embarrassing to puke in public and especially in front of people. You’d rather do it on your own.

“We can drive back to the hospital if we need to miss” Her eyes look at you in the rearview mirror.

“N-No I promised to be home after my appointment, Jaxon is waiting for me” A small smile pulling up on my lips. You spent more time with Jaxon ever since your cancer started to progress. Spending time with him was your main priority. The doctors say you’ll make it but your body doesn’t feel like it.

“You’re a wonderful mother miss, don’t listen to them” her statement making me smile, I felt like an awful mother being weak.Illiana is a lovely and sweet but also a woman you didn’t want to make angry. Her driving was quick but slowed whenever there was a bump. You were thankful she did that because the speed bumps hurt your body so much.

  The car pulls up to your home stopping by the driveway. Slowly moving my purse to my lap I open the car door. By the time my door fully swung open Illiana was waiting for me with her hand extended. I thanked her as I grabbed her hand as she helped me out of the vehicle. Her hand giving me support as I walked towards the house. Tom’s mom opens the door with Jaxon on her hip. His little smile reminding you of Tom making your heart melt.

  He reaches out towards me once I reach the front porch. Holding my breath as I held him, the aching in my body rising. I press a kiss to his forehead carrying him inside. Nikki tried convincing you to set him down.

   Refusing because you would look weak if you did. Jax needs affection from you, you don’t know when your last moments with him will be. The thought of leaving him alone scared you. If you died you don’t know how Tom would react either. Tom was your everything,and Jax was your reason to get up every morning and fight your sickness away.

“Mumma I want to show you what we worked on today!” Jaxon smiles up at you excitedly. His eyes shining ,the twinkle reminded you of stars.

“Of course my little star, show me what you did” Setting him down on the ground I watch as he takes off. Taking a deep breath in I walk a little faster to catch up with him. A hand wraps around my wrist causing me to look.

“Take it easy love, you should be resting after your treatment…” Nikki looks at you with concern written in her features. You hated seeing the way people look at you like that. It makes you feel weaker.

“I’ve been at the hospital all week.. I just want to see him” your voice cracks a bit. I hated feeling this way. Being stuck in a hospital and trying to be a mother is so hard. Missing moments with him was the worst. You didn’t let Tom bring him to the hospital while you were there. If Jax saw you connected to tubes and beeping you were afraid he would get scared.

“Him seeing you fighting is what’s good for him, don’t you let those stupid paps say anything to discourage you.. My son’s wife is a fighter, Jaxon seeing you fight is going to be an inspiration to him I promise you” her arms pulling me into an embrace. She smelled like the cookies that they must have baked.

“Thank you Nikki” a smile coming up to your lips. She kisses my forehead before helping me into the kitchen.

“Grandma and I made cookies an- and we did a puzzle too!” He points over to the table showing a puzzle of Spider-Man. You’re surprised he didn’t do the one that Robert made. It was one of Iron man holding a sign saying “Best Godfather” on it. He is so extra, but it’s amusing.

“Jaxon, now you be careful with your mum.. Your daddy has big news for tonight so we’re going to celebrate” she explains while kneeling down next to him. His eyes sparkle a bit with excitement.

“Does that mean you’re bringing cake grandma?”

A laugh escapes Nikki as she kisses his forehead “ yes I will bring cake, you’re just like your father.” Her hand ruffling his brown curls.

“Thank you for all your help today Nikki” I say picking up Jaxon. Loving the way his arms immediately wrap around your neck.

“Get some rest love for tonight, see you later pumpkin” she blows a kiss to Jax before closing the door behind her.

“Mumma ‘m tireddd” Jaxon rubs his eyes with his tiny fists.

“Okay love let’s head upstairs” My eyes shifting towards our staircase. Looking up them they seemed so much longer in my mind. You can do this.. Do this for Jax.

  Heading up the stairs holding him close to your body. Taking a deep breath you slowly ascend the stairs. Halfway your legs start to get shaky. Normally Tom is the one to carry him but he’s currently at an interview. Jax’s small puffs hit your neck signalling he’s asleep.

  Finally reaching the top of the stairs I let out an exhausted sigh. Stumbling a bit but catching myself on the railing. Jaxon stirs but relaxes again. “Thank God” you whisper heading towards his bedroom. Opening the door slowly slipping in cautiously not to wake him up.

“Mumma..”

“Shh baby, go back to sleep” I whisper setting him into bed. His arms still locked around my neck. Grasping his tiny hands I unlock them from behind my neck. He lets out a little sigh as you tuck him in the covers. Brushing his curls out of his face you stroke his cheek with your thumb.

“I love you so much my little star” I whisper as a tears falls down my cheek.The door opens more making my gaze drop. Tessa walks in towards Jax’s bed. Her head peeking above the covers to sniff him. Turning in a circle after quietly laying down next to his bed. Pulling your phone out of your pocket taking a picture . A grin appears as you look at the photo.

  Once in your bedroom you head towards the bed. It looked so comfortable the longer you stared at it. A content sigh leaves my lips once my body lays down. Crinkling fills your ears making you sit up. Looking around where your head was there’s a piece of paper.

Hey beautiful wife of mine,

I left the TV on, my interview should be on after you settle Jax down for the afternoon..

I love you and can’t wait to see your gorgeous face tonight.

-Love Tom xx

Ps. I love you more before try and say I love you more.. HA :)

  A laugh escapes my lips as I look up at the TV. They just cut to break so you pull out your phone. Quickly sending him a picture of Tessa and Jax. Your phone dings shortly after it being sent.

Wonderful Husband:

Look at our little human. We did that babe! Oh Tess what a sweetheart ! Gotta go babe I’m on in a few xx

“Mumma I had a nightmare!”Jax’s crying grabs your attention. Getting up fast and heading out the door.

“Jax I’m Co!… coming”I gasped out as the room swirled around making the hallway look like a funhouse mirror. I tried grabbing onto the staircase only to fall against it hitting my head. My vision going blank and into darkness.

-

[Tom’s POV]

“So how’s the life at home Tom?”

“Jaxon has formed a bond with Tessa, she’s around him more than me now” I respond with a little laugh. The audience laughs along with me.

“How’s your wife doing though? She’s been in and out of the hospital..”

 Zendaya places a hand on my shoulder. Did he seriously have to ask? I could feel my nerves building up because I tried not thinking of her sickness. I just think of her as my loving,caring,quirky and beautiful wife. Looking up I give a small smile, I know she’s watching the interview she watches them when she can.

“She is taking life like a champ, I know it’s hard for her when I’m away as well. I’m so blessed to have a loving wife like her. Our son is going to grow up full of love ‘cause of her.. If you’re watching this, I love you! Give Jax a kiss for me”  I blow a kiss to the camera making the audience go “awww.”

“Have the doctors said any-”

“I think you’ve asked enough.” Zendaya says bluntly holding her hand up silencing the interviewer.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“This interview isn’t about your nosy questions pertaining his sick wife it is about the second and third Spider-Man movie..” she looks at the man annoyed. Her hair is flipped over her shoulder staring at the man with a glare.

The audience was dead silent.

“That was really unnecessary and insensitive” Jacob crosses his arms over his chest. I felt like a kid who’s parents were sticking up for him.

“So sorry Mr.Holland, Let’s get on with the movie questions” he fumbles nervously with his cards trying to find the one he wanted.

-

  Walking to the front door I get my keys out of my trousers. Unlocking the door I head inside. Setting my keys on the hook next to the door. A blur passes by causing me to look up. Jaxon stands in front of me crying, tears pouring down his cheeks. Ripping my headphones off I toss them onto the ground. Kneeling down in front of my son placing my hands on his cheeks.

“What’s wrong buddy?”I ask looking over his body for any injuries. Why was he crying?

“N-nightmare an-and I called for mum-mumma and she did-didn’t come then s-saw she was on th-the floor and w-would’nt wake up!” my heart stops for a second once he finishes the sentence. Standing up I rush up the stairs taking bigger steps to get up there faster. The closer I got to the top I could see her body on the floor.

“God babygirl please wake up, what the hell happened?Wake up darling please” I beg shaking her body. Her face not stirring from the motion I was causing. Lifting her body up I carry her to the bedroom. I heard Jaxon still crying downstairs. The sounds of him crying and the situation that’s happening made my heart pound harder.

“Fuckin’ hell please please wake up love” I whisper setting her on the bed. Going closer to her face I listen for breathing. Feeling her light breath made me sigh in relief. Getting up from the bed I get a washcloth getting it wet. Folding it after I squeeze the excess water out. Quickly heading back to the bed I place it on her forehead. Lifting her head I place a pillow underneath it. Climbing onto the bed I hold onto her body.

  Praying quietly that she’ll wake up, tears falling down my cheeks. Seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. Looking at her chest rise and fall slowly Jax comes into the room trying to hold Tessa but failing. Tessa jumps onto the bed laying next to her feet. I help Jax up and he lays in between us.

After thirteen minutes she finally spoke “T-Tom? Where’s J-Jax?babe, wh-why are you crying?”

“Y-You were unconscious for I d-don’t know how long cause Jax can’t tell time and I got ho-home later than normal” my voice shaky as I tried hiding tears.

“I’m f-fine Tom I think I just got up too fast is all” she gives me a small smile making my heart ache. She’s not fine, she tries to be so strong when she’s this way. I take her hand giving it so many kisses.

“Darling, there’s a fine line with being fine and this happening..” I press kisses to her face after removing the cloth from her head. She tries to protest but Jaxon interrupts.

“Mumma wh-when will you get better?” Jaxon asks tilting his head. His cheeks and nose were red from crying.

“Hopefully soon baby, I’ll let you dress yourself for daddy’s surprise tonight okay?” Jax nods with a smile following Tessa out of the room once he’s let off the bed.

“C’mon babe, I’ll go put the kettle on” Her lips press against my cheek as she sits up. Slowly she stands grabbing a beanie off of the side table. Pulling it on she looks in the mirror fixing her outfit. Turning to the side she re-zips her dress. My gaze dropping to the floor. I almost lost her. I could have lost my everything.

“Tom”

“Tom Holland”

“Thomas Stanley Holland”

Looking up I see her looking at me with a small smile. Standing up I head over to where she stands. Wrapping my arms around her waist. Her body flush against mine.

“I love you darling, please don’t leave me..” I whisper holding her head against my chest.

“I love you more” she whispers humming against my chest.

“Well I love you most” I whisper lifting her up and carrying her downstairs. Her head laying against my chest. I could feel her smile against my chest. Once downstairs I set her down as I get the kettle ready.

“I love you more though” she tries to argue looking at my walk around the kitchen.I pause looking back at her with a smile.

“Not a chance darling, not a chance.”

[mynarcissticex]

How it all begun... part of chapter 1.

Chapter 1 - The Megalomanical man.

I️ remember the first time I️ looked at him with admiration, the first of many butterflies. I realise that was just my defense mechanisms telling me he’s toxic...

I️ remember the first time our lips touched each other’s like he was the only man in the world for me.

I️ remember the first time we expressed our love for each other, and how perfectly in sync we were as we said it.

I️ remember the first time I️ met his mum and how nice she was until she started enabling her son.

I️ remember so many great firsts during the lovebombing stage, but went onto less and less great memories and the abuse just got worse as time went on.

but what I️ don’t remember is The first lie.

The first sign of him cheating the countless times and red flags I missed From the start because I knew then But I chose to ignore them,

The first time he verbally attacked me a month into dating when I told him I was previously sexually abused and he kicked off and degraded me rather than understanding and left me in a hotel room crying inconsolably.

The first time he would stand over me and talk down to me.

The first time he started ramping up his verbal abuse.

When he begun sexually abusing me which I had no idea back then. the first time he forced anal sex onto me in our suite on my 30th birthday, the first time he tried shoving his manhood down my throat, when he pulled my hair hard during sex, slapped me round the face during sex, Spanked me until my arse was red roar and told me not to be a “pussy” about it so I complied to keep the peace trying to satisfy him but he would still complain I wasn’t good enough in bed but looking back he wasn’t and I was blamed for it, each of his ex’s I know and have spoken to all said he was shit in bed and they was right, he treated us like meat not humans. He was extremely rough and hard there was no compassion and mutual connection he withheld sex, always was on his terms, he never made me orgasm I had to pretend in the fear of upsetting him as of course he asked me how many times did I orgasm and sometimes I’d say 8 I mean He really believed that and he would feel so damn superior and smirk and do this grin of I’m so “godlike” it was cringe to say the least.

He was The first person who made me feel inferior whilst wanting me to make him feel superior.

The first time he told me I’ll kill you and disguised it as an joke Or the first time he said he would/shouldve.

The first public fight where’d I️’d whisper begging him to stop to not start a scene as he followed me up the road laughing and smirking at me and belittling me late at night on the street as I threatened to leave and go home.

The first scene he made outside a hotel whilst we were smoking because his mood swings were always so insidious and I asked him why he always had to ruin What was meant to be quality time together.

The first time he broke my Expensive and some of my sentimental possessions because I called him out for being nasty to me for no reason.

The first time I realised his love was all a lie in year 3 when his mask slipped and he told me he was “incapable of loving” “I never loved you” and he was right and I failed to listen.

The first time I️ begged him to stay with me over the woman he left me for.

All the times he gave me the silent treatment as punishment for his wrongdoings.

The breaks we had and me keep fighting for him when I should of left

The times he would use pity stories to prevent me from leaving him.

The guilt tripping.

The taking me for granted from the offset making me pay for everything, food, clothing, when I was struggling financially.

The first time he told me I️ wasn’t good enough fit enough and I was an ugly fat bitch.

The first hole in the wall I️ had to patch or the first electronics I️ had to replace that he smashed up.

The first time I️ lied for him to protect everyone from the truth......etc.

When he just came back to me to manipulate me out of a motorbike and all the money he could get his grubby little paws on, in total about £80k of my inheritance was wasted on changing my life around for him.

I spent the last 6 years of my life only seeing what I️ wanted to see, despite living the abuse and toxicity. I️ painted the most beautiful picture of him to everyone whilst living the horror.

Never once did I️ label myself in another domestic Abuse relationship. I thought abuse was only ever physical...

For every first, there was countless seconds, thirds and so on. I️ didn’t see him as an abuser at first just an immature crazy guy who lacked experience and maybe needed to grow with time, I️ saw him as my partner, someone I️ needed and someone who needed me. I️ thought I️ could fix him.

That he just needed someone there for him to truly care for him. I️ blurred out those memories every time and continued with the picture of our future. I️ thought if no one knew, it wasn’t a big deal. It was just one of those relationship problems we work on together But he never wanted to because he was only banging me for the cash all along.

For five years I️ tried to help create a better version of a “man”, or at least better than what he started out as. A better image. I stood by his side through every battle imaginable financial & emotional abuse, sexual abuse, pure misogyny countless cheating with now what I believe to be women/transgenders, pathological lying, manipulation, and the list Just could go on. I️ tried to love him every second of those five years.

My love was deeper for him than it was for myself. I️ only saw what I️ wanted to see then whilst battling another nightmare that nobody knew about, Just to lose everything I suffered for but for what? He proved in the end that he never loved me when he discarded me twice in 2019 in the most unceremonious ways... no remorse no empathy just left me in the grave he dug for me...

That’s a question I’m still trying to find an answer for. Towards the end of it all, I️ finally for once in those five years had a feeling of safety, maybe I thought he was the one to save me not destroy me, That maybe there was going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Just to learn he was probably still cheating on me during our time living together, as he gives me reassurance about the same woman I️ was worried about. Still the same person he was from the start, but I️ kept convincing myself that he would be different After all I sacrificed for him. The sense of safety was just because he got better at playing me. But I finally saw the Megalomanical man whilst we lived together his disorders were so crystal clear...

People don’t understand why people stay in domestic Abusive relationships. That’s because there is no understanding. It’s deeper than the surface, unconditional love is a horrible thing. Love should be conditional. Otherwise you could find yourself like me. 6 years ago I would say it could never be me not again I already suffered at the hands of 2 narcissists on different spectrums beforehand. I’ve defended and tried to help others leave abuse in the past. It’s not something comprehendible until you find yourself living it, and even still than it doesn’t make sense. It’s like you’re blind to you’re own life. Never again will I️ ignore a red flag, think I️ can change a man or love someone more than myself.

Everyday for the last 7 months post discard I have recognized the reality that I spent five years covering up. I️ want to heal, but in order to heal one must hurt. I️ wanted to skip that process, not acknowledge all that truly happened the past five years and only look at the good. I️ won’t do that to myself anymore. The good was only there because of me, because I️ put my everything in and never once did he deserve an ounce of my love.

I’ve kissed this man with a face of tears he caused, I’ve reassured my love for him after he’s hurt me. I’ve been his friend to fight his own demons, despite the amount of hurt it caused me inside. I’ve set aside my own feelings to always care for his. I’ve helped build every part of him while he continued to destroy each part of me. I’ve begged and pleaded for him and watched him be with another woman whilst my heart was breaking to pieces, when it should of been a blessing that he did leave me that time and I should of never of taken him back, trauma bonded or not.

The feelings I had never made sense. I would love this man even after I was terrified of him. I would love this man, but still hide away drinking myself to death every time I felt I knew an argument was coming. I would love this man, but I never trusted him. He showed why I should never trust him. He showed me why I should be afraid of him. He showed me so many things, except a reason to stay... but I still did. This was a man I️ would’ve gave my last breathe for, but chances are he’d be the one taking it from me.

The intent of this book isn’t to just expose him but rather expose the truth behind every cute post or picture I️ splatted for years. For me to acknowledge the truth and the reality. To shed light on domestic violence and how easily it can go unnoticed. Even by the person living it. And for me most of all, to stop protecting my abuser when he chose to be that way and stay that way despite the help I wanted to get him.

I️ am ready to start a new chapter of my life, the only way to do that was to stop skipping over the lines of the last one.

[perfectdayforsomemeihem]

An Honest Woman - A Meihem fluff fanfic Chapter Three

Mei-Ling Zhou x Junkrat (Jamison Fawkes) - Meihem fanfiction

Summary: Mei finds herself in a predicament with Junkrat, and how he might take it scares her. How will her teammates react? How is she supposed to move on from this?

is mainly a fluff story. It may contain some mild language, and some possible adult content.

by Miki - PerfectDayForSomeMeihem/MikiSneaki

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION

You can also find this work in the link below. Chapters are posted there first. http://archiveofourown.org/works

  Chapter Three

  The sound of giggles and soft moans caught Mako's attention as he made his way back onto the practice range.  He knew exactly where they were coming from, and for a moment he almost felt tempted to just turn around and leave again.  Unfortunately for him, he couldn't do that.  The three of them were all expected to be at an agent meeting in five minutes, but Mako figured the couple would be so preoccupied with Mei's news that they'd probably forget all about the meeting.  Sure enough, he was right. 

 A small part of him also wanted to make sure that Mei was okay.  He liked Mei, and he understood how scared she probably was to tell Jamison that she was pregnant; anyone would be at least a little nervous about such a life changing experience.  He had faced this same situation long ago, before the Crisis took his normal life away. 

 However, by the sounds she was making and the looks of where Jamison's hand was at the moment she seemed to be doing more than okay. 

 Mako coughed to get the couple's attention, and immediately Mei's eyes darted open.  Jamison, however, didn't seem to notice his partner as his lips trailed up Mei's midriff. 

 Seeing that Mako was now watching them Mei became mortified.  She immediately shoved a surprised Jamison off of her, sat up, and smoothed her sweater down back over her stomach.  She was too flustered to say anything, so instead she kept her gaze to the ground trying not to make her blush so obvious. 

 Jamison scowled as he regained his composure.  "What the hell, Snowy?  Why-"

 He turned around. 

 "Oh, hey Roadie!" 

The fact that they had been caught red handed didn't seem to affect Jamison in the slightest.  In fact, his cheeky smile suggested that he was pleased with himself.  This of course made Mei feel all the more embarrassed. 

 Mako rolled his eyes and sighed.  "We have a meeting."

 Mei's eyes widened in realization.

 "Gāi sǐ*!  I forgot all about it!  Oh no, we only have three minutes to get there!  It's all the way on the other side of the base!  We have to- Eek!! Jamie, what are you doing?!"

 In one swift swoop Jamison had managed to get up from him seat and lift Mei into his arms bridal style.  A cocky smirk appeared on his face as he started the trek back inside the base.  Mako followed behind shortly after grabbing the file Mei left on the bench. 

 As the trio made their way to the conference room Mei struggled to get down from Jamison's arms.  However, her attempts seemed to be in vain; the more she moved the firmer Jamison's grasp became.  It infuriated her all the more seeing that he was enjoying watching her get frustrated. 

 "Jamison, put me down this instant!  I can walk on my own two feet!"

 "Well it wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me to make a beautiful, pregnant lady like yourself walk all the way across the base, now would it?  So just shut up, and enjoy the ride, alright darl?"

 For a moment, an offended pout appeared on Mei's face, but it was quickly taken over by an amused smile.

 Gentlemanly?  Yea, right. 

 Finally, Mei stopped her thrashing, looped her arms around Jamison's neck, and committed to her fate. 

 "Well it's not very gentleman-like to tell a lady to ‘shut up’, now is it?" She imitated Jamison using an over exaggerated drawl. 

 Jamison gave an undignified snicker at her “Aussie accent”.  "S'pose not, but you were gettin’ on my nerves!  Here I am just tryin' to be nice to my lady, and she's all up in arms wantin' me to drop her!"

 Mei rolled her eyes.  "Okay, okay.  I get your point.  I guess I was just a little worried; I am a bit heavy to be carried across the base like this." 

 "Oy, enough of that.  Your lighter than my RIP-Tire, and I lug that thing all over the fuckin' place."

 Mei briefly smiled at the compliment before recalling just how much she weighed. A shocked look came to her face as she looked back to Jamison.  "Wait, how heavy is that thing?!"

 Jamison smirked.  "Heavy enough to blow up any dipshits that think they can mess with me.  My record for the most kills with one of those bad boys is five."

 Mei cringed for a moment thinking about who those five people may have been, but then she reminded herself not to think about Jamison's criminal past.  Yes, the Junker may have had a history of doing horrible things, but there was a different side to him.  As she got to know him Mei had been exposed to his more human side. 

 The man was inventive, imaginative, passionate, and funny, and despite how many people were out to get him he always seemed to have a positive outlook. As far as he was concerned the whole world could fuck right off.  There was only one person's opinion he cared about, and that was Mei's.  Almost every day he made that apparent to her, and the fact that he chose to care for her out of all of the people in the world made Mei fall in love with him. 

 Deep down Mei knew that Jamison was just another human being trying to make it through life just like her.  She knew that life had been harsher to him then it had been to her.  He needed kindness, and that's why she promised herself that she would love him no matter what she learned about him.

 So, she smiled the new information off, and let her head rest in the nook of his neck.  "I guess I just keep forgetting how strong you actually are."

 A sultry smile came back to the Junker's face.  "Do you now?  Maybe I'm gonna have to find ways to remind ya."  He whispered in a low, husky tone.  Mei could see that there was a dark, devious intent in his smile, and it only got more intense as she blushed. 

 "Get a room." They heard a groan from behind them. 

 Jamison turned to Mako for a moment.  "Soon enough, mate, soon enough!  Oh, you reminded me; guess we're gonna have to call you Uncle Hog from now on, ey?"

 The elder Junker simply shrugged at the suggestion, but despite Mako's clear lack of interest Jamison had convinced himself that his partner adored the idea.

 "What do you think Mei; Uncle Hog, or Uncle Roadie?" 

 Mei was about to answer, but before she could the three heard someone behind them ask, "Why are you talking about calling Roadhog an uncle?" 

 Mei could feel her heart drop realizing that someone had been listening in on their conversation.  The three turned to see who it was, and were met with Hana's crafty smile.  She had been so curious that she actually paused the game on her hand-held gaming console so she could investigate. 

 "H-Hana!  How long have you been listening in?"  Mei became quite nervous, but the Junkers seemed to be as cool and collected as ever.

 The gamer smirked.  "I heard Roadhog tell you two love birds to get a room.  You didn't answer my question though; what's with the uncle talk?"

 Mei once again was about to answer, but she couldn't think of what to say quick enough.  Instead Jamison beat her to it. 

 "It's cuz our lil’ Mei here is pregnant!  I'm gonna be a dad, Hana!" 

 Mei gawked at Jamison; how could he be so blunt?!  She was half tempted to scold him, but she stopped herself when she saw the look on Jamison's face.  He was already so proud about their baby, and it made her heart soar. 

 So instead Mei simply covered her face, and waited for Hana's reaction. 

 The gamer proceeded to freak out. 

 "Jangnanhanya​?!* No way, you're pregnant?!  That's so awesome!  I'm so happy for you!  I can't wait to tell-" 

 "No, wait!" Mei struggled once again to get down from Jamison's arms. The sudden movement caught the lanky Junker off guard, so he finally gave in and put her down. 

 As Mei made her way over to Hana she took the younger woman's hands into her own as if ready to beg to her.  "Hana, please don't tell anyone!  I don't know how some of our teammates will react, so I want to figure out how to tell them myself."

 Jamison and Hana both gave her confused frowns.

 "Aw, but I feel like everyone will be excited for you two." Hana admitted. 

 "Well... Jack might not be."

 Jamison began to scowl a little.  "Christ, that's right.  Soldier boy's got that stick up his arse about me." He thought to himself. 

 Jamison knew that Mei and Jack were close friends, and sometimes it made him nervous.  Not that he would ever admit that.  Not to mention Jack had made it particularly obvious that he didn't like Jamison.  When the veteran found out that the two were dating he confronted the Junker. 

 Jamison remembered his exact words; "If you do anything to hurt her you'll have hell to pay, and I'll personally see to it that you pay it."

 The young Aussie waved him off, but there was still a small sense of nerves that made him wonder how Jack truly felt for his girlfriend. 

 Hana sighed, "Well, can I at least tell Lúcio?" 

 "I suppose that's okay, but tell Lúcio he can't tell anyone else!" 

 Hana gave a small, triumphant punch to the air.  “Aw, yeah!  He's gonna be so excited for you guys!  Congrats, you adorable nerds!"  She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the couple and giving them a surprisingly strong squeeze. 

 "Oh!  By the way, I think Uncle Hog is much cuter!" 

 They heard a scoff behind them from the larger Junker, but Jamison didn't care.  He proudly beamed as he walked over to Mako and patted his shoulder. "Uncle Hog it is then!" 

   ｡｡｡｡｡

   Eventually the group made it to the conference room; it was a large auditorium style room near the front of the base that had a sloped floor declining from the back to the front.  Two sets of stairs that lead towards each row of desks hugged the walls on opposing sides. If someone hadn’t known any better they could have assumed that it was a large classroom at some pristine university.

 Every Overwatch member was there, and they occupied themselves with a personal task, an electronic device, or a conversation with one or more of the other members.  Near the front sat Ana and Angela who were having a causal conversation until they noticed Mei and Jamison.  

 Angela subtly waved to Mei getting the climatologist’s attention.  When she looked over she saw the two women were shooting her a questioning look.  She knew exactly what they were wondering, and responded with a smile, her hand resting on her belly as she gave an excited nod.  It was her own subtle way of telling the two, “We’re keeping the baby.”

 Ana and Angela couldn’t help but express their excitement for her, and started to once again chat amongst themselves.  This time their conversation became about what they could do to help Mei.

 Meanwhile, the moment that Hana saw Lúcio she ran over, grabbed the surprised Brazilian, and dragged in into a more secluded area of the conference room so she could quietly tell him the good news. 

 Mei had already found a seat with Jamison and Mako, and watched as her other two friends spoke with each other.  Lúcio's face lit up, and when he looked over to the couple he made numerous excited gestures seemingly unable to pick one.

 Mei simply giggled at the display of excitement, and waved hello to her friend before she felt a very slight jab on her arm.  Turning she saw Mako handing her the file she left outside. 

 "Here."

 "Oh my gosh!  I completely forgot about this!  Thank you, Mako." She smiled. 

 The elder Junker shrugged, and returned to his own seat.

 His younger partner watched over Mei's shoulder as she located a pen to start writing with.  As she opened the file Jamison’s eyes glanced to the termination papers, and a thoughtful look came to his face.

 "Oy, Snowflake, can I see these papers for a sec?"

 "Oh?  Uhh, sure. What for?" 

 After being handed the file Jamison proceeded to take the termination papers, and crumple them up into a ball.  Afterword’s he unceremoniously threw it onto the floor behind him.  "No need for that junk."

 Watching the display Mei’s expression went from slightly surprised, to amused.  Of course, he would make such a gesture in the messiest way possible. 

 Reaching behind her she grabbed the scrapped paper, and set the paper ball off to the side before turning to Jamison so she could lean in, and give him a small kiss on the lips.  

 "What am I going to do with you?"

 "How’s ‘bout another kiss?"

 The young woman giggled, complying as she met his lips once again.  Being wrapped up with one another Mei and Jamison felt that, at the moment, everything was perfect for them.  They were so distracted by their blissful afterglow that neither one of them noticed that they were being watched. 

 At the front of the room Jack scowled at the pair.  He took the display of affection as a sign that Mei's news to Junkrat had gone well.  He did feel slightly surprised that the criminal was okay with such a thing.  He would have bet money that Junkrat would have wanted nothing to do with a kid.  Multiple worst-case scenarios had played in his head ranging from Mei being made to get rid of the baby, to her being forced to have it just to raise it all by herself.  Either way, in his mind that Australian bastard was never in the picture.

 Of course, he didn't know Jamison like Mei did. 

 "Jack."

 The veteran turned to the sound of his name being called.  Ana and Angela looked at him from their seats in the front. These looks suggested they weren’t happy with him. 

 Ana shook her head in disapproval.  "Are you just going to glower about this whole thing?  Why can't you just be happy for her?  You were happy for me when I had Fareeha." 

 "You were different.  You-"

 "Weren’t someone you loved, right?" 

 Jack glared at her.  "How about you both mind your own damn business?" 

 Ana felt tempted to retort back, but she was dissuaded on the idea as Winston cleared his throat and began to speak.  

 "Alright, now that everyone is here we can get started!" 

 Ana shot Jack one more look that seemed to say, "This conversation isn't over," but Jack pretended not to see it. 

 The meeting progressed much like any other meeting; Winston talked about recent changes in political climates and how they would affect upcoming missions, reviewed reports on the successes and failures of previous missions, and began outlining potential clients for new missions. 

 Much like other meetings Jamison would have been bored out of his mind if he had been paying attention.  However, unlike the other meetings he had a perfect distraction.  He watched intently as Mei filled out her form as if something magical was going fly off the paper.  Every so often his eyes and his hand would wonder towards her belly, and Mei would respond with a warm smile.  It was a weird feeling not being able to see proof that his child was there, but he knew it would come soon enough. 

 While Jamison found himself distracted Mei was able to multitask; she was able to listen to Winston and retain what he said, and fill out all of her personal info onto her supplement form.  She knew she would probably have to explain everything that Winston said to Jamison all over again after this meeting, but she didn't mind.  Jamison would listen to her and understand her a lot better compared to Winston anyway. 

 She would occasionally look up as the ape projected some information onto the conference room screen.  As she did so she began to notice a few things. 

 She could see a scowl on Jack's face, one that suggested that he was a little more grouchy than usual.  Also, for whatever reason, he and Winston wouldn't make eye contact with her.  Jack’s seemingly fixed his stare to the floor, but Winston was the one that convinced her that they were deliberately not looking at her.  As the ape spoke his eyes would scan and meet with most of his teammates gazes, but today he wouldn't meet hers. 

 She shook it off figuring that maybe she was over thinking things, and went back to finishing up her form. 

 As she did so Winston finally came to the last docket of the meeting; assigning people for the newest missions.

 Mei didn't normally go on any high combat missions, but would rather be selected for delegating or scientific research based missions.  There were multiple upcoming missions she was expecting to be a part of as she and Winston had spoken of them weeks prior to this meeting. She set her pen down for a moment, and was ready for her name to be called. 

 However, much to her surprise, Mei would never get called. 

 Winston started with the combat missions; the first was a simple apprehension mission to Oasis University.  Genji, Orisa and Fareeha had been placed on the mission; not to surprising Mei wasn't a part of it. 

 Then an escort mission was then outlined.  Once again Mei wasn't too surprised when only Hana, Lúcio and Zarya were placed one the mission. 

 Next, a demolitions mission; of course, Jamison and Mako were prime candidates for the mission, and were therefore called upon.  Jamison's trademark grin came to his face as he gave a small, excited exclamation, turned to Mako, and made a comment about living the high life of getting paid to destroy shit.  Mei rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

 Finally, Winston got to a data collecting mission in Cairo near the Temple of Anubis; this was definitely one of her missions.  Mei had discussed making Cairo a new location for an Ecopoint as she had limited data on heat fluctuation and measurements of rain fall in Africa or any other place with such constant heat.  She was excited to get started on developing a new location, so it caught her off guard when Winston called who would be sent. 

 "Let’s see... Ana, since you know the place best you'll be leading myself, Satya and Lena on this mission." The ape pause for a moment and looked quizzically at his paper copy of the itinerary, almost as if he was internally debating something.

 Then he looked up, and for the first time for that entire meeting he finally made eye contact with Mei.  She gave him a confused gaze, and it almost seemed to make him anxious. 

 He quickly turned from Mei, readjusted his glasses nervously, and continued.  "W-Well, that covers that mission; let's move on!" 

 Mei sat there now even more confused than ever, as she tried to piece together what was happening.  Jamison could see the look on her face, and leaned over close to her so he could whisper. 

 "What's wrong?" 

 Mei leaned over to Jamison and replied, "I'm positive that I was listed to go on that mission to Cairo.  I don't understand; why would Winston take me off?" 

 Jamison gave a shrug.  "A fluke, maybe?" 

 Mei frowned.  "I suppose, but how could a ‘fluke’ like that have been made?  Winston and I have talked about that mission several times." 

 Jamison moved his chair over so that he could get closer, and rest his head on hers. "Mei, don't worry your pretty little head over it.  It was probably just an honest mistake.  You can fix it later."

 Mei sighed, and leaned backed against Jamison.  "I suppose so."

 Despite Jamison's attempts to comfort her Mei soon found herself even more upset.  The couple had listened in as Winston read the schedule week by week, and soon they found that she wasn't on a single mission for the next month.  Not even the ones specifically noted as Ecopoint work! She wondered just how a "fluke" like this could happen, but then she noticed something. 

 Looking down towards the first few tables she saw Angela, and for whatever reason she also seemed upset.  The doctor turned to look at Mei, and they made eye contact.  Mei could see that there a small semblance of guilt in her eyes as Angela mouthed out the words, "I'm sorry.”  For a moment Mei couldn't figure out what she was sorry about. 

 Then, in an instant of grim realization, it all clicked.  She recalled thinking to herself about how she would tell Jack and Winston about her pregnancy, and during these thoughts she kept thinking that they would react almost exactly like this. 

 And why would Angela apologize?  Perhaps she told them?

 So, was that it?  Was all of this because they learned she was pregnant? 

 Her question was soon answered as the meeting drew to a close.  Winston had finished talking about the last mission when an awkward look came to his face, and he began to speak once again. 

 "Oh, uh, before we adjourn this meeting we have an announcement." 

 He motioned over to Mei who sank nervously in her seat as everyone's attention suddenly went to her.  Her blood ran cold as she thought to herself, “Oh, no… Please no..."

 "It seems that Miss Zhou is expecting a child.  I suppose we should all congratulate her, and wish her the best of luck with her new... endeavor."

 The room was quiet for a second before Hana and Lúcio in the back started to cheer and clap for her.  Shortly after everyone followed along, and began to voice their congrats. 

 Not everyone was enthusiastic as Hana and Lúcio, however, and Mei could clearly see it.

 The moment Winston began his announcement Jack’s scowl seemed to get worse.  He rolled his eyes, and quietly made his was out of the room while everyone else was clapping.

 “So, I was right… I knew he wouldn’t be happy about this.”

 Tears began to well up in Mei’s eyes, but this time it wasn’t because she was disappointed or sad.

 No; she was pissed.

 Winston cleared his throat as the clapping died down, and tried to smile.  "Alright, meeting adjourned!" 

 Jamison smiled, and looked towards Mei.  "Well, seems like everybody​'s happy for us-" 

 It spooked the Junker for a moment when Mei suddenly sat upright from her seat causing the chair to make a loud, scraping noise against the floor.  Much to his surprise there were tears forming in her eyes, and a frustrated look on her face that she was trying to cover up.

 "I-I'm sorry.  Excuse me." 

 "W-Wait, Mei!  What-?!"

 Despite the fact that Jamison was talking to her Mei bolted.  She quickly made her way down the stairs on the side of the room, and out the door past many of her teammates. 

 Jamison was a dumbfounded.  He got up from his own seat and started after her. 

 "What the hell do ya think that was that all about?!" He exclaimed to Mako. 

 The elder Junker bumped his arm to get his attention, and pointed towards the front of the room.  

 "Could be that."

 Jamison looked to where his partner was pointing; it was Angel Doc and Grandma seemingly having a harsh conversation with the monkey.  The women seemed to be upset about something, and they were taking it out on their hairy Commander.

 "You don't think... Aw, fuck it!  I don't have time for this!" 

 Mako watched as the young Junker quickly made his way out of the room to follow Mei.  After he was gone Mako sighed, reached over for the file that Mei forgot about once again, and began to make his own way towards the front exit. 

 As he got closer he could hear Angela's scolding Winston. 

 "How could you do that to her?! Why would you take her off of missions like that!  Also, what were you thinking telling everyone her personal business like that?!  What if she wanted to keep it private, and let everyone know when she was ready?! What if she isn't keeping the baby?! Did you ever think about that?!" 

 The ape nervously scratched his face.  "I- Uhh... I suppose I didn't think of that.  But look, I can explain about the missions.  You see, Jack told me-"

 "Hey."

 The three turned in surprise to find Mako towering over them. 

 The large Junker looked towards the doctor, and handed her the file.  "She finished it."

 Angela seemed confused by his statement for a moment until she realized that he was handing her Mei's folder.  She took it from his hand with a small smile, and nodded.  "Thank you, Mr. Rutledge." 

 To this the Junker simply mumbled, turned, and walked off. 

 Angela opened the file to looked through the paper work.  Reading the form quickly she gave another small smile before turning a stern gaze at Winston. 

 She took a deep breath.  "She’s keeping her baby, by the way, but that doesn’t mean you can keep her off her own missions.  Fix this, Winston." 

   ｡｡｡｡｡

   Jamison followed as close as he could to Mei, but at some point, he lost her. He listened in as best as he could to try to figure out where she went, and that’s when he started hearing the harsh tones of someone having an argument.  He quietly made his way down the halls, making it to the hall just outside the barracks where he was able to find the source of the quarrel.

 He peeked around the corner to find Mei and Jack, and neither seemed happy.

 Mei folded her arms at the veteran, giving him a tearful glare.  “Why can’t you just be happy for me?!  Why did you have to put on such an angry display?!”

 “I am happy for you.  You’re going to make a great mother-”

 “Don’t patronize me, Jack!  What gives you the right to do this to me?!”

 Jack sighed, “Look, am I happy with your choice of staying with the Rat?  No, I’m not.  I don’t think he’s going to be capable enough to raise a child-”

 “That’s not your place to decide!  And neither was removing me from my missions!”

 “I already told you; were not sending a pregnant agent out into dangerous environments.  We did the same thing to Ana when she had Fareeha.  If you have a problem with that take that up with Winston.”

 The anger in Mei’s face slowly dissipated into distress as their argument progressed. Eventually the tears streamed down her face, and she simply shook her head.  “Jack, he’s not a bad person-”

 “Jamison Fawkes, the man wanted in 27 different countries for arson, robbery, and murder is not a bad person?  Mei, I’m sorry, but he’s a violent, Omnic hating criminal that didn’t care about anything but scores and payoffs until he got here.  Does he care for you?  Probably, but that man only has fight or flight reflexes.  I would not be surprised if he tried to disappear at some point.  Also, have you completely negated the fact that he and Rutledge are here to lessen their sentences?  They still have to serve some sort of prison time, Mei.  You don’t think that’s going to affect your life with him?”

 Mei, unable to think of a rebuttal, simply looked to the ground and let her tears fall.  Both men could see that there was some sort of pain in her trembling form.

 Jack sighed, “I’m sorry, but I’m just trying to be realistic here.”

 He got close to Mei, wrapping his arms around her for a moment.  Mei didn’t reciprocate, but she didn’t push him off either as all she could feel was the numb sensation of realization all over her body.

 Understanding that Mei needed time he let go, turned, and began to walk back to his quarters.  “You’ll be fine.  Just don’t depend on him, okay?”

 Mei didn’t respond, but Jack knew she heard him.  Eventually he made it to the end of the hall and disappeared, leaving Mei to stand there in silence before her emotions got the best of her.  She began sobbing quietly, her hands holding her belly as if somehow, she could protect her unborn child from the truth about its father.  As if the situation would somehow change if she simply wished for I hard enough.

 Unaware of his presence Mei jumped as Jamison got behind her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

 “Mei?”

 She turned to him, and the look on her face nearly broke his heart.  Her eyes were blood shot, and her cheeks and nose had a rosier tint to them.  Worst of all there was no semblance of hope in her eyes; Jack made the reality all too perfectly clear to her.

 Jamison frowned, reaching out his arms and wrapping them around the young woman's waist.  He pulled her close to him; his tall form towered over hers, but it made her feel enveloped and safe.  They stayed like that for a minute, as it seemed to comfort Mei a great deal. Eventually her sobs soon became whimpers, which started to fade into slight sniffles. 

 “How much of that did you hear?”

 “Ehh, some shit about being incapable of being a dad.”

 “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t-”

 "Snowflake, why the hell are you apologizing to me?  Do you really think I care about old Jackie boy’s opinion of me?  More importantly, are you seriously gonna let that old man's opinion ruin this for you? It's our baby, isn't it?  Why should he matter?" 

 Mei sighed, "I'm not letting Jack ruin anything, but he is my friend, Jamie. He's been with me through so much, for so long so of course he would try to advise me.  That’s just his nature.  And, yes, I know you guys dislike each other, and it was a little much for me to hope that he would be totally fine with this, but I didn’t think he would get this serious about "

 "Yea, he's a dick like that."

 "Jamie!" 

 "What?  It's true! He'll get soggy about any sort of bullshit that doesn't go his way!  In fact, I would have ate my boot if he had actually been happy for us!"

 "... Well you didn't have to put it so bluntly."

The young Junker sniggered.  "Oh yea? Well at least ya know how I feel about most things.  That's more than I can say for Drongo Jack.  Anyway, look..."

 He gently turned Mei so that she was facing him.  He could see that her tears were gone, but her eyes were still puffy and red.  She sniffled, taking a deep breath before looking up at Jamison.  His arms snaked around her waist even tighter, as he leaned in placing his forehead against hers. 

 He spoke softly, "I love you, Mei.  I don't wanna see you upset like this anymore.  I’m not goin’ anywhere, so you’re fuckin’ stuck with me.”

 Mei giggled a little, causing Jamison to beam.

 “Ah, there she is; me happy Snowdrop!  I mean we just found out we’ve got a little baby on the way, so aren’t we happy?"

 A small smile came to Mei's face as she replied, "I'm very happy about it. What about you; are you still happy that you’re going to be a father?"

 His prideful smile returned, and he began nuzzling his forehead against hers.  "Yea, I am." 

 _________________________

 Translations:

 * Damn!

* No way/You’ve gotta be kidding!

[superfluffysupernatural]

How Could You

Part 6: Trapped

Word Count: 2069

Warnings: angst

Summary: The boys argue over the best way to deal with the demon possessing you. You argue with yourself about Sam and Dean.

A/N: If you want to see the parts to this series come out sooner, I need more notes. I can’t continue posting if I don’t know if people are reading it or not. 

~Rae

What feels like hours to you pass in silence, with you trapped in your own body. Until Lido finally speaks up for you. “Oh, if you boys could hear her. Begging… screaming to get control back. Honestly, it’s getting kind of annoying. Maybe I should send her to Hell myself.” “Fine. We’ll play your game. What do you want?” Dean asked. “I think you can guess. Those trials you’re doing- to slam us all into Hell. To lock the doors and throw away the key. I’m going to need you to stop them. And I’m going to need proof before I go anywhere.” “Yeah, right. Good luck doing anything without your little demon magic-” “Dean, maybe he’s right. Maybe we should just let it go,” Sam interrupted him. “I’m not letting anything go until we get [Y/N] back,” Dean said through his teeth. “Well then, I’ll just hand over the wheel to her and maybe she can convince you,” Lido said. Suddenly you were you again, but you could feel Lido in the back of your mind. “Dean, Sam, please, just listen to him. There will be another chance-” but suddenly you felt crippling pain shoot down your spine, sending you to the ground crying out in pain. “He can still hurt me in here, with the linking spell,” you choked out. “Please, please, Dean let it go please,” you whined in pain. Lido was doing this to you and you were too weak not to beg in his favor. Both of the Winchesters cringed at the sight of you being tortured from the inside. But of course, Dean wouldn’t give in. Sam took the initiative. “Okay, okay, stop!” he yelled. Sam pulled a knife from his jacket and grabbed Dean’s nondominant hand, cutting a slice across his forearm. “Sam, no!” Dean yelled, grunting in the mild pain from the cut. “What, you don’t think saving an innocent person is more important?!” Sam yelled angrily. “We will find another way!” You and Lido watched as the aura of the trials slipped out of Dean and disappeared. That’s when Lido took over again. “Why, I didn’t think it would be that easy,” he said, chuckling maniacally. “Now, sweet boys, if you’ll just let me out of this Devil’s trap I’ll be on my way.” “No. Not until you reverse the linking spell,” Sam said. He didn’t want Dean to talk, didn’t want him to say anything. He didn’t know why he was surprised Dean wasn’t willing to give up the trials, he was just angry. Lido sighed. “Fine.” Some Enochian words came out of your mouth, and suddenly you felt like a separate entity from Lido. You knew he was there without Lido giving you permission to know he was there. “Unlinked. Promise. On Lucifer.” That’s when Dean started reciting an exorcism as quickly as he could. Sam panicked, thinking Lido hadn’t told the truth about releasing the link, but before he could do anything to stop Dean, it was over. A black cloud exited your body, and you slumped over. “God dammit, Dean,” Sam muttered angrily as he rushed over to you, picking you back up. He placed two fingers on your neck, trying to feel for a pulse. A sigh of relief escaped him when he felt it. You were still you, still alive. “What?” Dean asked. “Dean, what if the demon had been lying? You would’ve just signed her permission slip into Hell,” Sam spat. “Yeah, well, he wasn’t.” “You of all people, should know that demons lie,” Sam said. “And you of all people should know that we do whatever it takes to stop them,” Dean replied. “Even if it meant sending an innocent person to Hell? Dean, she never did anything. The demon just chose her and happened to get lucky.” “Yeah, well, that demon’s luck almost burnt this bunker to the ground just now. So you tell me that one person is more important than everything we’ve ever worked for to protect humankind.” You began to wake up, finally in control and alone in your own body. “Is he gone?” you croaked out. Sam looked at you, pushing your hair out of your face. “Yeah. He’s gone. For good this time.” Sam picked you up and carried you out of the dungeon and back to your room, placing you in bed. “I’m sorry, Sam,” you whispered. “Shhh, don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just get some rest.” “Not about Lido… about Dean,” you told him. “You don’t need to be sorry about him, okay? Please, just get some rest.” He started to get up to leave, but you grabbed his wrist. “Don’t go,” you pleaded. “I don’t wanna be alone…” You also didn’t want him asking Dean what Lido was talking about back in the dungeon. You didn’t want Dean telling on you. If anything, you had to do it. “Please stay with me, Sam…” Sam looked down at his feet, deliberating. After a few moments he looked back over at you and cracked an almost-smile. “Okay.” You smiled softly back at him and he kicked off his shoes before sitting in the bed next to you. He seemed a little caught off guard when you snuggled up to him, placing your head on his chest and curling up close. He gingerly wrapped his arm around you, protecting you. Things were quiet for a good long while, and you figured Sam probably thought you were asleep. “Hey Sam?” you asked softly. “Hm?” he somewhat grunted in response. “Was last night a date?” you prompted. He was silent for a few moments. “Did you want it to be?” he replied. “I guess I wouldn’t mind if it was… what about you?” More silence. “I think I wanted it to be. I just don’t know if hunters even go on dates. Relationships are kind of tricky in this life, you know?” You sighed. “Believe me, I know. I’ve seen it work out before, though.” “Me too. In a ride together, die together kind of way.” “At least they were happy…” you trailed off, looking up at Sam as you did. His gaze met yours and he placed his hand under your chin, pulling your face to his to kiss you. The kiss turned intimate very quickly, and you pulled yourself up to be closer to him, twisting your hand in his hair. “Sam, I think I really like you,” you murmured. “I know I really like you,” he said back, leaning in to continue kissing you. You knew what was about to happen, and you knew you should tell Sam before it did. At least, that’s what your conscience told you. But why would you listen? No, that would be too easy. Too complicated. Contradicting. So when Sam rolled his body on top of yours, you smiled and embraced it. Because this, this made you happy. And you knew that telling him you slept with his brother wouldn’t. Besides, Dean was just a one night stand you abandoned in a motel more than three years ago. What you had with Sam wasn’t even close to that. You deepened your kiss with Sam, keeping tongue to a tasteful minimum. His hands traced your body, like he was trying to memorize it, like he wanted to keep it forever. You ran your hands up under his shirt, holding onto the bare skin of his back, scratching at it when he squeezed your hips. His lips left yours and trailed down your neck, soft and slow. You moaned his name breathily and he brought his face back up to meet yours. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t-” he began to say. “Want to do this with you?” you finished his sentence. He nodded. You smiled and held his face in your hands. “I do. If you promise me one thing,” you said. “What’s that?” he murmured. “That this is real… that it’ll last past tonight… you’re not just using me…” That this is nothing like what I did to Dean, you subconsciously thought. “I promise,” he whispered, leaning into your hand and kissing it. “And if I break that promise you have every right to hunt me like the monsters we kill.” He pressed his forehead to yours. You pressed your lips to his and began to take Sam’s shirt off when there was a knock on the door. Goddammit Dean. “I got it,” you whispered. Sam quietly got off of you and moved out of sight while you answered the door. “Dean, I’m trying to sleep. It’s been a long night,” you told him gently. “I know… and I know you must be pissed at me, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “You’re right. I am pissed at you. Lido could’ve killed me from the inside back there and you didn’t even seem to care. So no, I’m not going to accept your apology. I was trying to tell you that there would be another way, another chance. But all you could think about was finishing what you started. That’s all you ever do. And that’s why I didn’t stick around three years ago. You don’t seem to get that now, just like you didn’t get it then. And I’ve tried to be civil about it, I’ve tried to help you and your brother out the way hunters help each other. But you don’t ever seem to help me. You just help yourself. So please, Dean, unless you’re going to be a part of the solution instead of the problem, don’t apologize to me.” That seemed to hit a nerve in Dean. “I don’t ever help you? I don’t help you? So me saving your life from that vampire that stabbed you because you were too unobservant to realize you didn’t kill them all wasn’t helping? Giving you a place to stay while you healed? Making sure you got home safely when you went out and got drunk at a bar? Or what about when I got a call from Bobby just a couple weeks ago and found you sitting crying in a motel shower, and invited you into one of the only homes I ever had? None of that was to help you, that was all to help me, right?” “You do not want me to go there, Dean,” you said, trying to maintain your calmness. “No, go there. By all means. Please, enlighten me, really.” Dean’s voice was almost a shout. “You only did half of that shit because you wanted to sleep with me.” You tried to speak in a low enough voice so that Sam wouldn’t hear you. But Dean ruined any hopes you had of keeping your secret with what he yelled next. “I didn’t sleep with you because I wanted to take advantage of you, [Y/N]! I slept with you because I thought I was in love with you!” It almost physically stung you to hear it. “Go. Just go. We’ll talk about this later. Right now I need you to just go. Please,” you said quietly before shutting the door and locking it. Sam didn’t speak up until he had heard Dean walk away. “So you slept with Dean?” he asked, much calmer than you thought he would’ve been. “It was over three years ago. I was drunk, and really pissed. And I know I should’ve said something. So… I won’t apologize because I know you don’t want to hear it.” Sam nodded. “I get why you didn’t say anything.” Your face became confused. “You wanted to wait till the right time,” Sam answered your unspoken question. “And while you were in bed with me wasn’t a good time.” “That was what the demon was talking about back there. The thing that happened between me and Dean. It’s… trying to figure out when and how to tell you had been killing me, Sam. I didn’t want you to think any less of me…” “[Y/N], I don’t think any less of you. I promise you that. But… I think that this should stop until you can talk to Dean.” “Sam, please-” “You two need to figure things out. Establish boundaries, come to an agreement about things. It’s only fair.” You nodded sadly. “Okay,” you croaked. Sam came over to kiss you one last time before he left you alone in your room.

[imagination-going-100]

Imagine // A Sword for a Knight

Prompt: Could you please write an imagine where instead of dating Finn, she was dating the Reader (female) and came down to Earth for her, and they have a really fluffy reunion. Extra points if Reader scares a lot of the 100 and becomes a total goober around Raven.

Pairing: Raven Reyes x Reader, a little Rival!Murphy

Warnings: Mentions of torture, swearing

1. This is not fluffy enough, I acknowledge that. 2. Reader does not melt enough when Raven is around. 3. I should probably write a one shot about their reunion with just fluff, because there is not enough fluff.

Also, write your eye color with no caps, eg. green or blue, as opposed to Green or Blue.

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

Your eye color: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit3").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\be\/c\b|\(e\/c\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt3").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

In the end, it had only taken Clarke three days to become the “official” leader instead of Bellamy.

Not that Clarke was the reason. Well, she was a strong leader; she had a way of making people want to follow her. But Bellamy was the more tempting choice. He offered freedom, adventure, excitement, and he had his own personal militia to back it up.

But he didn’t have Y/N.

Murphy shuddered at the thought of her. No, he wasn’t afraid. He was just…

Alright, maybe he was a little intimidated. But just a little.

Then again, who weren’t? There was just something about her that screamed danger. She rarely smiled, and whenever she directed her gaze to you, it felt as if she could read your mind. Or kill you should she want to. Or perhaps both.

When Y/N declared her support of Clarke, Bellamy suddenly had fewer supporters. Murphy chuckled while stroking his knife. Yeah, he really wondered why Bellamy suddenly lost so much support.

“What are you doing?” a stone-cold voice said behind him. Murphy whipped around, almost stumbling in the process.

Y/N stood there with her arms cross, her cold E/C eyes piercing him.

“Just... on the lookout.”

“Then perhaps you should do less daydreaming, and more looking, John.” Murphy cringed. No one called him John. If they did, his knife shoved in their face usually convinced them to shut the hell up.

“Did I make myself clear?” Y/N continued, and he suddenly felt very small. There was just something about her that made him very willing to comply.

“Yes,” he muttered.

He watched her hips swing as she walked away. He chuckled to himself as he watched the other kids move out of the way, all of them skittish; as if just existing would be enough for Y/N to scold them.

Murphy thought that if he had to choose how he would go out, he would maybe consider shoving a knife in Y/N’s face. No one would be able to say that is was a cowardly way to go.

You wanted to scream. Mostly because you were surrounded by idiots. A little because said idiots were absolutely useless at doing anything properly no matter how hard you held their hand through it all, but mostly because they were idiots.

They’re only kids, a more rational part of you reasoned.

So, what if they were kids? Raven was only eighteen, and she was a Zero-G already. Plus, correlation and causation were not the same things; you weren’t automatically an idiot just because you were under twenty.

You sighed and shook your head in an attempt to ignore the clenching in your chest. You missed Raven.

It was fun on the ground – well, as fun as anyone could have while babysitting a bunch of tweens – but life wasn’t the same without Raven around. Raven was just special in that regard. She was the only one you had met who could throw you off and turn you into a stuttering, blushing mess with just a wink and some flirting.

She could turn you into a hot mess in other ways too. Especially when she did that thing with her to-

No, Y/N, do not go there, you thought to yourself, and scowled at the kids who have stopped to look at you. Both quickly looked down and stumbled along.

You sighed again. Your mind attempted to rid itself of all thoughts of your girlfriend. It would be a very long day if you couldn’t.

You hadn’t seen the escape pod on the way down. Clarke, however, had. And Bellamy was apparently very excited to meet whoever had decided to drop by, because he went out by first light.

Without telling anyone else, of course. It was barefaced luck that you spotted him.

You did not follow suit. Because with both Bellamy and Clarke out of camp, someone had to be there to rein the kids in.

You happened to be perfect for the role. Clarke seemed to think so too, as she gave you a discreet nod before setting off with Finn.

Simply put, you were not prepared for their return. Some idiot had spilled some precious water and you were in the middle of scolding them once they returned. Whatever faint arguing you had heard among them was cut off by a single voice.

“Y/N?” You whipped your head around, brows furrowed.

“What?!” you spat. When you saw who was standing there, every single well-formulated thought left your brain. “Raven?”

“Y/N!” she yelled again and started running towards you. You would have run to meet her, but you couldn’t move at all. The mixture of shock and excitement has left you stunned, frozen to the ground.

Raven’s touch thawed you. You wrapped your arms around her as she pulled you into a hug and buried your nose into her shoulder. She was laughing, and you were smiling, and neither of you could say anything other than each other’s names.

You finally pulled away. “Raven, I… You… Here… Wow…” Some of the spectators started laughing, but you couldn’t care less. In fact, it didn’t bother you at all that all those people saw you grinning like an idiot.

You should probably be used to it; Raven had a way of cutting through all your walls, all your defenses.

“Of course I would come for you,” Raven murmured.

You pulled her into a long, sweet kiss, all smiles and laughs. Raven only pulled away when Clarke cleared her throat.

“Radio.”

“Right,” Raven said and glared at Bellamy. He stared down on the ground.

“Everyone who can afford to lead post, come down to the river. We have a radio to find.” Clarke didn’t bother to wait for any responses, instead turning around and walking away at a fast pace.

Raven grabbed your hand, pulling you with her. You raised an eyebrow. She grinned: “I’ll explain on the way down there.”

As embarrassing as it was, you lost some power after that. Not that you weren’t stern and respected and all that, but whenever someone had done something wrong, they always for some strange reason had business in Raven’s tent once you came to scold them.

And Raven the unfortunate ability to turn you into a blushing mess. It was worst in the beginning, as you weren’t used to the thought of Raven being there at the time. Over time it did become less effective, but Raven’s tent was still used as a shelter for your wrath occasionally.

You didn’t mind. Raven’s presence made you stronger, more steadfast in your goal to protect camp. She gave you drive. And you were happy that she had come down for you. Especially those nights around the campfire, filled with kisses and laughter and dirty promises whispered into one another’s ear.

Murphy watched Y/N move across camp from within the drop ship, eyes narrowed and wounds aching.

He was sure his eyes were tricking him in the beginning, because from what he’d gathered, Y/N had to be going soft.

But no, the way Raven’s hand brushed against hers, and how Y/N spaced out right after, her E/C eyes unfocused and staring at nothing made it quite clear that Y/N did indeed have a weakness.

Or a strength. Murphy had seen how incredibly protective Y/N was of her girlfriend. It gave him an idea, one evening.

He’d contemplated shoving a knife in Y/N’s face; a little ‘thank you’ for the role she had played in her hanging, or lack thereof. If anyone could have stopped the crowd, it would have been her. But she didn’t.

However, as he’d thought before, that would more likely result in his untimely death than hers. She was a warrior, a knight, not afraid of a good fight, and Raven was her sword.

That was the thing about swords though: Most of them were two-sided. And that way one could hurt the wielder of the sword by pushing it against them. Murphy smirked. Yes, he could absolutely use Y/N’s little sword against her.

And even if he lost?

Well, it was hardly a bad way to go, was it?

[gwyvian]

Resistances and Dalliances

Chapter 3: Short Circuit

“That has to have been the worst plan we’ve had yet,” Ryder muttered darkly, rubbing her head and wincing with pain that seemed to roll across her incessantly.

“As bad as coming to Voeld on nothing more than an echo from the distant past,” Evfra agreed.

“I suppose we’re even where bad ideas are concerned, then,” she replied.

It had been scarcely five minutes since she groggily regained consciousness by her estimation, but her thoughts were still as sluggish as when she opened her eyes. They seemed to be locked into what she supposed was a storage closet of some sort, if a roomy one. There wasn’t much around them except for an odd table with suspicious stains on it and cables winding up the wall; and of course, no sign of her outer layers of armor or their weapons.

A small light gave them shadowy illumination but not nearly enough heat; each breath Ryder drew was accompanied by a tightening of what felt like a band of ice across her chest. She flexed her fingers painfully, marveling at how lucky she was to have survived that hot mess that was their skirmish with the kett in the first place. Something about this entire mission bothered her, as if all the pieces of their encounters matched her expectations a little too cleanly.

“How did you know they wouldn’t just kill us?” she asked after a moment, teeth chattering.

“I didn’t know they wouldn’t kill you,” Evfra admitted, not looking at her. He moved around a little gingerly as he ran gloved fingers along the door and wall, and Ryder wondered if that had more to do with the dried line of sapphire running down one temple or the lack of light in the room. She had no notion of how long they had been there, after all.

Ryder stared at him. “And you stopped me from defending myself anyway?” She shook her head, a little taken aback. “Well, what’s done is done. So what is your theory on why a Roekaar of all people would lead us into a kett ambush? For that matter, what was he doing poking around in there in the first place? I don’t like this, Evfra, something is wrong here.”

“Enough speculation,” Evfra growled.

Ryder’s lips thinned, but she elected not to let herself be provoked. “Where are we, anyway?” she asked.

“Behind a sealed door,” he replied flatly, though the twist of his mouth made it sound as if he was offended by how little they regarded the pair as a threat, with no more between them and the world than a simple lock, apparently. “I glimpsed the room on the other side when they brought us. We are inside an old facility of some sort, not the same one we came from.”

“That’s it?” Ryder asked. “They didn’t even bother to post a guard or something?”

“They did at first. Something drew their attention away after stripping us. I don’t have an AI to get us out, however,” he added, looking at her for the first time. His eyes brushed over her head injury and clearly dismissed it.

Ryder finally resigned herself to standing up and joined him at the door, wincing in pain as her head protested the movement. For that matter, her whole body screamed for just a short lie down and sleep she badly needed, though in her mind knew she would die before long if she obeyed that impulse. She felt a little disgruntled knowing that Evfra likely would have let her die from the cold if she hadn’t wakened on her own, no matter that SAM would have forestalled that outcome for as long as possible; the angara was obviously in a single-minded mood and judging by his attitude so far, she wasn’t part of that focus. It was difficult to stay awake, though.

“SAM, can you get us out?” she asked between gritted teeth, shifting her weight from foot to foot and stretching her arms to try to get her circulation flowing more easily and invigorate her enough to keep her going.

Yes, Pathfinder.

“So, I was out longer than you,” she directed that at Evfra, not quite glaring at him, but he simply ignored her, crossing his arms and fixing his gaze on the door expectantly as soon as he heard her ask SAM to open it. “You could have at least tried to wake me,” she added. “Humans don’t do so well in the cold, you know.”

No response, apart from a slow sigh of irritation. Something clicked audibly inside the door and Evfra immediately crept out, silent as a shadow and hugging the walls in case there were enemies. Ryder followed, echoing the Resistance leader’s vexed sigh, and after a quick appraisal of the room told her no one was there she slowly straightened and continued flexing stiff muscles. Her trembling made it difficult, but she persisted grimly.

“Here, weapons,” Evfra said, pointing to a table in a corner where it seemed the kett had unloaded all their equipment into one messy pile. They exchanged puzzled glances before approaching; the whole situation was very strange from the start, but their too easy escape topped off by finding their weapons in the next room strained credulity.

“Evfra, I know you’re not one for conversation, but we have to talk about this. Something is going on, I simply cannot believe the kett are this sloppy,” Ryder said, sorting through the equipment to find – yes! She gratefully extracted her chest piece and strapped it in place. It was cold and made her shiver even harder, but she hoped eventually it would hold in what little body warmth remained to her.

Evfra grunted in response, busy with his own equipment.

“Are we going to at least talk about the Roekaar? I would think their involvement would catch your attention,” Ryder persisted.

“That was your assumption,” Evfra replied and she decided not to push it or she would end up shooting him in the foot. She changed the subject.

“Why did you want us to be captured in the first place?” she asked casually, hefting her weapon and feeling in control again the moment she had it in hand; though, that feeling fled quickly enough when she aimed and her hand shook so much she doubted it would be much use unless adrenaline or SAM guided her.

Evfra grimaced. “The angara shouted a name I recognized, a name he couldn’t possibly know unless he had been in contact with my family.”

“I think the exact words you said were ‘I believe you’,” Ryder smiled at him faintly.

“I had to stop you,” he replied stiffly. “Didn’t you notice that none of the kett’s attacks were lethal?”

“So you figured a trap isn’t a trap if you know it’s one? You’re not living this one down, by the way. You said you believe me.” Raising her weapon, she stepped out of the chamber, grinning when he groaned in exasperation.

“Don’t let it distract you,” he said caustically, but his frown of disapproval was not as convincing as usual.

Could it be true? It would be the perfect lure to tempt Evfra into acting as he did, rekindling a hope he had buried long ago; the thought made her cringe a little, since that was exactly the bait she had used. It did smell of an elaborate trap, but she couldn’t understand why the kett didn’t simply execute them on the spot once they fell for it and were at their mercy. Ryder studied her companion for a moment and she started seeing the signs: his eyes were still like winter glass hiding churning the depths of a blizzard, but they seemed to hold lightness in them she had never seen before. In fact, they were quite beautiful, now that she noticed, blushing a little at the thought.

“With any luck, we’ve been taken to the prison where they’re holding your family and we can rescue them,” she said gently.

“More of your optimism?”

“Hey, I’m not the one who grabbed you and let us get captured at the first whisper of hope,” she replied.

Evfra sighed and, seeming to come to a decision, put a hand on her arm to stall her. “Ryder, even if you were wrong… thank you. Perhaps you were right in tracking down this lead. It’s better to know than not, better late than never.”

Ryder was silent for a long moment, stunned by the earnestness in his eyes as he studied her expression, almost as though wondering what she was thinking. “Sure,” she managed to get out, which seemed to be answer enough to satisfy him. Evfra! Wondering what she thought! She couldn’t help but smile warmly at him, though her face felt too stiff from the cold to convey it properly. As he let go she turned away from him, biting her lip and trying to sort out the mix of emotions swirling in her. Evfra was still the same gruff Evfra, yet… she saw someone else in him in that instance and that transformation mesmerized her.

They stepped into the silent corridor beyond the outer door and, with an exchanged nod, agreed on a direction, holding weapons ready. Ryder’s momentary pleasure evaporated quickly as that foreboding itch returned, convincing her that they had yet to see the worst. Each moment that passed sent agonizing fire down her limbs as she struggled to hold her weapon steady. It was difficult not to concentrate on how miserably cold it was, chest aching from breathing no matter how much protective gear she had on, but fear kept her sharp enough; and the wonder that sent her reeling. Evfra’s thanks kept echoing in her mind, still as incredible as when he spoke them after they had been exploring for a long time, covering enough ground that the size of the complex grew exponentially in her mind.

Every chamber they looked into, every hallway slowly built a map in Ryder’s mind of an eerily deserted maze. The entire complex was silent, except for the odd groans and hisses of kett machinery keening through the air, as if everyone had left in the middle of what they were doing to get out of their way. Her mind was not entirely on it, however; she reconstructed the series of events that lead them to this point, increasingly feeling a fool for not taking heed of her intuition’s warning pinpricks the more she focused on all the wrong choices she had made that lead them to their present circumstances. It had all seemed like fate when she stumbled on that intel and following the lead was just something she would have done anyway, but after that nothing made sense and that by itself should have stopped her long enough to approach things differently.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Evfra muttered as they finally entered what Ryder estimated to be the near the heart of the facility, judging by the proportions of the room. His eyes had studied every detail of every room they entered, picking up datapads wherever they found any, examining the odd objects the kett left lying around with the sort of distaste that only changed his usual dour expression slightly, but when he spoke he stopped his intense scrutiny as it increasingly became obvious that there were no enemies around, nor much of anything else of note.

“I don’t like it either,” Ryder said absently, still thinking furiously. Evfra was a prime target for the kett, but it just didn’t add up in her mind that they would leave such ridiculous leeway for them to escape and then not even a single kett came to confront them?

“It had better yield results, Pathfinder, it was your idea,” Evfra’s scars pulled at his mouth as he assayed an unexpected hint of a smile.

Ryder gaped at him, caught completely off guard. “You really do believe me,” she said finally, not quite able to imagine how that could possibly be true. Only yesterday she had never suspected that there was anything beneath his icy disposition apart from disapproval and irritation towards her, but perhaps… it was hard not to smile in return. First he thanked her with that beautiful sparkle in his eye and now this? In the end they might actually get along.

“This doesn’t look like a prison,” Ryder said, trying to focus her brain on the task at hand. Her mood buoyed, she briefly indulged in imagining breaking into a room somewhere at the heart of this complex triumphantly, freeing Evfra’s family and whoever else was held captive there like a hero from a fairytale; just the look on Evfra’s face would be worth the effort, though considering their exchange, she rather liked the idea of seeing a heartfelt smile from him more than hearing the disgruntled respect she had been aiming for originally. Yet, even lost in pleasant thoughts she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing some important, terrible detail that would cost them sooner or later; reminding herself of that dampened her optimism quickly enough.

“It does not,” Evfra agreed, his entire demeanor shouting combat readiness, a role he seemed to slip into as easily as he donned the mantle of the inspiring leader. It wasn’t exactly charisma, but Ryder felt the magnetism of his surety in his cause, not to mention the effortless confidence he seemed to have in their ability to pull off their mission. It was comforting, if a little disconcerting coming from him, or rather, the fact that she absorbed it so readily.

“I think the center is through that door,” Ryder gestured at the far exit; its size and design somehow set it apart, though the differences were subtle.

Something made her hesitate the moment the doors opened and they entered; a feeling like a lump of shadow settled in her stomach that immediately put her on alert. The first few steps didn’t feel any different, though there was a chaos about the room’s layout that didn’t sit well with her as she squinted through the dimness. The prickle came first, a sudden stab of certainty that she was in danger and suddenly she understood something about the room on an instinctive level that hadn’t registered at first.

“Enemies!” she yelled, throwing herself to the side reflexively as something white hot brushed millimeters from her face.

“I knew it!” Evfra exclaimed, throwing himself into cover.

Why does this keep happening? Before she could think further, Ryder’s weapon was aiming at a target, her mind focusing in on her battle senses; enemies in front, several circling on the periphery to flank on the right. The noises behind her told her that there were more ghosting through the empty corridors they had left behind, but before uncertainty in their position overcame her, she shut away all feeling and became one with her gun, each bullet an extension of her desire to take down each enemy that came under her scope. The recoil vibrated down her already fatigued muscles and she missed more than she hit, but thankfully Evfra’s fingers had no such trouble and the band of enemies was quickly reduced to a handful, then stragglers and finally, none at all.

The battle was brief and intense, Ryder’s attention dilating between the seconds it took to aim, fire, slash, roll away and refocus. At least using a broader slashing style ensured that her melee didn’t suffer from the debilitating cold as her shots did, but her stamina was already depleted and each new enemy she faced increased her doubt in the possibility of her survival. Once she almost went down and that would have been the end if it hadn’t been for Evfra’s blade appearing in the kett’s neck just as it extracted itself from Ryder’s grip and aimed for her head.

Before she knew it she was breathing hard, her arms and legs felt weighty and overstrained, but just as fatigue would overwhelmed her completely, the fight was finally over, leaving her trembling and excruciatingly sore from head to toe.

“That was too easy,” Ryder panted, putting her gun down and warily peering out from behind her last hiding place before flopping back with a groan. Her hand trembled as she raised it before her eyes, though. Easy, she scoffed inwardly. It had been a while since she had performed so badly in a fight.

“Because half our work was already done,” Evfra said angrily.

Ryder glanced at him and when she saw where his attention was focused, she clambered up and took in her surroundings again, this time paying attention to the bodies surrounding them. Much more dead than they had fought against in the past – minutes? Hours? It felt like an eternity and a fraction of a second all at the same time. She had worked her way around the room and understood why she hadn’t spotted them at first; her eyes travelled across dozens of kett she was sure she hadn’t seen before, though it explained a few stumbles she had. Maybe her mistakes hadn’t been all that bad, although if she had been at peak performance she would have noticed the corpses in the first place and avoided them.

Ryder gasped as her eyes found the first angaran face. “A Resistance cell?” she asked in shock, looking up at Evfra. “I thought no one was supposed to know where we were headed!”

“Not all of them are Resistance,” Evfra said stonily. He squinted at the bodies and amended, “I don’t think any of them are Resistance, but this,” he gestured around the room to take in the kett corpses, “is not the work of civilians.”

“Escaped captives? This can’t have been everyone,” Ryder said, feeling frustrated and anxious. “Look around for clues,” she said, approaching the first door she came across to check for hidden enemies, but it was locked. She decided to circle back to it later, instead approaching a third door to the right of where they had entered; that was where the flankers had come in and she wanted to make sure no one else lurked there. It let out onto what looked like a very long corridor, thankfully empty. More importantly, if she was right that corridor just might have been a straight path outside. “We’ve got a short way out I think,” she called back to her companion.

When she walked back to him, she found Evfra pouring over a stack of datapads, his gun casually propped on his shoulder with one hand while the other flipped through the information, finger flashing. One particular page seemed to catch his attention and he paused, letting out a growl of anger.

“This was a trap,” Evfra said, burning eyes fixing on her.

“Let me see,” she closed the distance between them and reached out for the datapad, but Evfra didn’t move to hand it to her.

“It says here to expect the Pathfinder and the Resistance leader to come looking for lost family,” he said coldly instead, “information they received from one of your people.”

“Impossible,” Ryder said automatically, shaking her head in denial.

Evfra scoffed. “See for yourself. I can only imagine what the kett are doing now that I’ve successfully been lured away from headquarters,” he said accusingly, walking away from the datapads to glower at the corpses as though wishing them alive just so he could kill them all over again. “My family was never here, somehow one of yours recruited that angara and they made sure I wouldn’t get back…”

Ryder ignored him and read the datapad he had left on top. It was a brief missive with one a mention of a clearly human name; there was a handoff mentioned, but worst was the part detailing someone ‘following the Pathfinder’ to make sure that she stumbled on an opportunity she couldn’t refuse. She felt her face suffuse with crimson when she got to the part detailing how their plan would ‘exploit her fascination’ with the Resistance leader. A ball of ice formed in her stomach that had nothing to do with Voeld’s unforgiving weather; could she really have been duped that easily?

This is the most amateur plan I’ve ever seen, Ryder thought angrily, but her mortification was far more powerful than her outrage. It all was crumbling down, but her mind still refused to accept it at its face value; the whole experience was like a logical short circuit. Whatever disturbing gossip was circulating about her frequent visits to Resistance headquarters, the rough plan outlined on that datapad still did not add up.

“That can’t be right, the Initiative would never do something like this,” she said finally. The only explanation she had was that someone was trying to set the Initiative up, sow seeds of doubt between the Milky Way colonists and the Resistance. But who? The kett had the strongest motive, but all the sloppiness she had seen since their capture made her suspicious of that. The Roekaar? Whatever Evfra said, that angara had been one of them.

“Your people are hardly known for their solidarity,” Evfra said coldly. “The exiles are a prime example of that.” Ryder glanced at him; he couldn’t possibly believe it, could he?

“Not even an exile would have a reason to ally with the kett,” she answered a little more brusquely than she had intended, though inwardly she winced at how easily she could imagine some greedy bastard from Kadara selling out people he didn’t know. Still…

“That evidence says otherwise,” he replied slowly. “You may be right, however.” He seemed to be studying her as he spoke, voice thawing somewhat. What was it about her outbursts that fascinated him so? This was by far not the first time he had reacted strangely when she snapped at him.

“One of yours did that first,” Ryder pointed out frostily, pushing herself away from the table and taking a few paces. She could smell the stench of death cling to her skin more and more the longer they were in the chamber.

“True,” Evfra said grudgingly, clearly almost as displeased about conceding her point as the fact in and of itself.

“Let’s see if we can find some explanation,” Ryder said stubbornly, stepping over a contorted kett corpse while pulling up her omnitool to unlock the only door left to explore beyond. The kett had clearly been intent on protecting it judging by the number of bodies surrounding it, now that she paid attention; it made her uneasy. She felt rather than saw Evfra step up behind her as the doors slid open to reveal a strange pod containing a deceased angara. Female, by the proportions, but the age of the body made such determinations somewhat difficult. She scanned the body as Evfra brushed past her, a hand reaching to the glass as if to touch the angara’s face.

“Who is she?” Evfra asked softly, studying the body, though whatever identifying marks she might have had in life had faded away long ago.

“SAM?” Ryder asked hesitantly, dreading the answer. Something seemed to click into place in her mind as she stared at Evfra’s face, so filled with unexpected trepidation, his eyes a void of memories and pain. Evfra was clearly the center of this elaborate scheme, but it wasn’t his death that they wanted, but to break him; and if that was true, Ryder’s actions since finding that datapad had softened him for it as effectively as if she had betrayed him personally.

Scanning, SAM’s voice said in her mind.