#? idk i’m not great at tagging this stuff
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something something the fear of being vulnerable
#don’t look at this for too long i’m feeling shitty about my art so i’m trying to draw and post more to get through it#if i had a nickel for every time i drew saeyoung handcuffed from saeran’s after ending i’d have two nickles. you know the rest#idk why i feel less like a perfectionist when drawing angst. idk maybe i think the flaws and concept are strong enough to carry it#as opposed to feeling like i have to make everything look Nice in other art#anyway my pathetic sopping wet meow meow#707#saeyoung choi#my art#art#mysme#mystic messenger#mysme seven#mm seven#tw injury#? idk i’m not great at tagging this stuff#mm 707#707 fanart#mysme fanart#meow :3
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Have decided to use tumblr like a diary again! It’s what the yapper in me deserves.
Now that I’m exiting the busyness of the last several months (planning for big trip, the big trip, then DATV), I’ve dived back into and am almost done with The Way of Kings (well I have 400 pages left BUT it’s 1,000 pages long SOOOO!!!) and shit is getting serious. Sanderson has set up such a strong foundation with the different character perspectives, FOR SO LONG, and I am fully attached to every single one.
I can’t significantly participate in fandom until I’ve finished the rest of the series with 5 books in all lol, so yelling into the void in the meantime will have to do! I HOPE to finish by this time next year. And that’s either way too far a goal post or not far enough. (I hauve ADHD)
But I haven’t been this swept up in a book series in far too long. I adore Kaladin SO MUCH. He is such an inspiration and so relatable. I’ve yelled in the tags about him before, and I probably will again, and Sanderson can weave such a rich and complex world in the most accessible way that manages to keep me engaged for an alarming amount of time (I don’t read a lot besides manga - it’s just hard for me to stay focused).
Like, it’s so over for me. I am LOCKED in for this ride and it’s so nice to look forward to. I firmly believe in having offline hobbies if u can and so this will help me with that!! Bc the Cosmere universe (within which many of Sanderson’s works take place including The Way of Kings aka book 1 of the Stormlight Archive) IS ENORMOUS. And this man cranks books out at a speed that concerns me lmao. I hope I stay engaged. It’s really been amazing so far. I highly recommend if you’re looking for an epic fantasy series to get into.
#steph reads#steph reads twok#and thus two new tags are born that I hope to make some use out of loool#the way of kings#stormlight archive#cosmere#brandon sanderson#idk if the ebooks are still on sale but they were pretty recently! I got all 4 for like 12 bucks#I’m reading the paperback but I use my kindle to look up terms and stuff I read before but need a reminder on lol ITS GREAT
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Okay no one talk to me bc I haven’t watched the race yet but I just finished Nightbane by Alex Aster and am currently Losing It. I need the third book rn.
#lightlark#nightbane#spoilers for the book from this point on#OH MY GOD#WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GOING TO KILL ONE OF THEM????#ALEX#ALEX PLEASE#I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME#wait if it’s possible to bring people back to life in the Other World then could she theoretically bring Oro/Grim back?#also SHE’S DEAD???? WHAT?????#also are the dreks what Oro was talking about when he said Grim was protecting them all from something in the last book?#WAIT BUT-#SHE’S LIFE AND DEATH SHE’S BOTH#SHE’S BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD#YOU CAN BRING SOMETHING BACK FROM DEATH SO WHAT WILL SHE BRING BACK FROM ORO/GRIM’S DEATH?#also what are your bets kn who she kills?#atp signs are pointing to oro especially with the stuff that enya was saying#like isla is basically born to be his doom#but also i don’t think isla wants to go to the other world atp#idk I NEED THE THIRD BOOK#also if she’s going to shack up with grim now: how is he going to act knowing she isn’t only his?#how will they act together? just bc isla loves him doesn’t mean they’ll be all domestic like she and oro were#and god idk which couple i love more#they also hate each other so polyam seems unlikely#i think the only thing that makes sense here is that she dies as well#she can’t go and kill one guy and then live happily ever after with the other#she’ll be haunted by the loss of one of her great lives#and whoever guy lives wouldn’t be able to bear it#honestly in situations like this i’m always an all or nothing person#also i hit 30 tags so i can’t say more but gods. this series man
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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okay like i want to preface that i do not have anything against the storylines that they are doing, i’m straight vibing with this season, having fun. i just want to say it’s a little frustrating to me that 911 keeps tacking on these buck and/or eddie centric “surprise” scenes at the end of an episode because then it becomes the big talking point of the episode after the fact and a lot of the other stuff that happened in it falls away to the sides a bit
#like yes i love buddie/buck/eddie all variants there and thereof#and yeah i’ll say i do enjoy experiencing whiplash from media#maybe i just need to broaden my horizons a bit in terms of 911 fandom related stuff idk#but like i am also very much here for the other characters and their storylines getting the proper love they deserve!#past two episodes have been SO good for chim & maddie storylines (and OF COURSE madney wedding storyline my beloved)#and this week we had some great henren and wilson fam stuff#and don’t get me wrong i am also laughing at eddie and enjoying this messy storyline they’re writing for him#and i’m SO happy for canon bi buck. and happy that him and tommy are having a good time etc#i just also want to highlight and see highlighted the storylines that the other characters are getting#anyways. yeah. i’m really really really not trying to start any drama or anything#just wanted to express my feelings#911#911 spoilers#abby.txt#idk if i should tag this as anything else#feel free to lmk if you think i should tag this as something like fandom wank or smth for it to be blacklistable
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my art from the na vs art party!! took me a lil bit cuz i wanted to color it and that meant cleaning up the sketches and then i wanted to shade them and hajsksldhaflk
the characters from left to right:
Quinn Teeling - @sunsrefuge
Ambrose Wolfsbane - @commander-gloryforge
Finnegän - @pinecone-enthusiast
Astrëllä - @ohpollenpowder
#vsartparty#gw2#guild wars 2#others ocs#my art#also!!! please let me know if i got any of the names or tumblrs wrong!! especially ambrose cuz i didn’t get the name in my ref screenshot#i did go thru the art party tag to find the character i drew and i’m like 99% sure it’s ambrose but if it’s not him i’m SO SORRY#ahhh i hope people like them ajhsjalakf#like i know that getting art of ur oc is usually great no matter what but i get anxious lol#also i used a new shading technique and idk how i feel about it#like i like how i blended out the edges and stuff#but i might have to play with using different colors in different areas instead of just using the same purple lol#really happy with how i did the hair this time tho!! i feel like i usually like hair better in the sketching phase#cuz it’s all loose and rough and messy#i just feel like i get the shape and idk vibe? of the hair better then#and when i get to lines or shading i feel like i end up making the hair too solid? like i lose the flowy-ness of the hair and stuff#anyway i think i did pretty good with it this time tho!! i liked adding the highlights a lot :)#…i actually kinda was referencing an old how to draw manga book i got when i was 11#listen. it was one of the good ones and had actually good tips and info#and the way it showed shading hair kinda influenced me here and i think it worked!#oh wow i really rambled in the tags this time#there’s a reason my personal texts posts (at least on my main) are tagged as ‘regan rambles’
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I would never get tik tok but my god even just being there (because my friend sent someone who drew shiro that appeared on their fyp) was like wild
K/ancers just take up everything bro….dam
like if you want to be on tick tok you gotta follow the sheep if you want to be seen :/
#there was sh/th too in the shiro tag but it’s just wild#like dam#wild#I’m too scared of tik tok to ever be on there but like just even seeing a glimps is wild#I liked the art there though very pretty#I took screen shots of the shiro art I liked HEJRK#also tik tok art community like in general scares me#the way that I be hearing people bashing on others for their art style and shit#it’s like twitter but without the terminally online energy#idk scary#same reason why I don’t do anything on insta is cause I don’t know how it works#idk#I like tumblrs like formatting for tags and stuff much better#it’s so nice being able to find your own art easily#fandom isn’t great since well tumblr is where ship wars and stuff started#but it’s nice here and it’s easier to find community here#idk I just feel like I can be myself here it’s nice#and also I can block tags here#tumblr is the best worst website even though staff and people here literally don’t know how to respect anyone#like what if there was another Tumblr but actually allowed trans people especially women and poc to actually oh idk be on the website#instead of mass deletion#just saying#at least we aren’t censored and have to do shit like F*uK
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one thing about being a fictive: i hope i never find anyone else from my source & constantly hope i find other people from my source simultaneously
#y’know what i mean?#like i wanna talk about it with peoole who GET it#but logically i know it wouldn’t be THEM#like i’m alec and i remember living his life but i’m *not* that alec at the same time#idk my mind has been very stuck on my source lately#which isn’t great for the now primary host of the system but whatever#i’m dealing with it#kind of#i’ve been in the shadowhunters tag for way too long today#x alec#alec speaks#fictive stuff#fictive problems#system stuff#sysblr
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i’ve talked about this before but like steven is genuinely Not a Well Man. like. he has some screws loose if you know what i mean. no one normal 1. works the night shift for 6 yrs on & off while everyone around them is either quitting or getting severely injured 2. goes “oh…. Huh,” when they KNOW they’re literally about to get brutally murdered
#mix of trauma & also I think he’s just. idk he’s got stuff going on GFBBFBD#but yeah I think he’s like. god. especially thinking about my hcs of how ‘😄😄’ he was when he first started#I think he has some Not Great Coping Methods. To Be Honest#ask to tag#(obligatory disclaimer that I’m not calling ppl who have experienced trauma crazy etc etc etc this is in no way commentary on actual#ppl experiences disorders mental states etc)#(also I don’t think it’s JUST trauma for him I think he’s also just a quirky little guy. srs)#;ooc
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#i’m a little drunk so forgive me please but#idk if it’s like.. bc i’ve been kinda down/moody anyway recently or if it’s bc i was gone for a week or bc i’ve finally picked up on it or#what - but i feel like legit kinda isolated now in work.. not in like some awful everyone deffo hates me way but in that bs olivia laing way#like it’s taken me way too long to notice that i’m not doing a good enough job making fuckn work-friends or whatever the fuck#& it’s so hard to say if that’s like. a me issue or if that’s bc fuckin almost all the people i work w are guys so i’m not a real person t#*to them!! probs fuckin both lbr - but it’s rly not helping shit yk#bc as soon as u go in knowing that ppl are talking 2 u for politeness then ur quieter so u look worse so there’s less talking etc etc etc#great fuckin stuff - ANYWAY remembered what i actually wanted to say#which was that i went to get some drinks w a friend earlier this week and god i wish i could like. this week just do ANYTHING#get properly pissed! see people & shit properly again; i miss having a proper social life and i’ve litch never had one#this is best left to be forgotten#so let’s not tag it lol - but anyway; anyone know how to make proper friends as an adult as a compulsive nonsharer & someone w/o interests!
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I’m trying out watercolors‚ have a Judy <3
#the great thing about a small fandom is I can post stuff I’m not even very proud of bc i know that the tag has to move somehow.#anyway. I do actually like it.#fabric is so harddddddddd#also did an all the bells say shivvy but I messed up her skin color so she looks dead and idk how to fix it.#trg#judy gemstone#the righteous gemstones
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What you dont like about sanderson writing?! I'm starting to read his books and so far i like it, but i always appreciate other opinions
that’s fine, I’ve already stated plainly on my blog before that I can recognise why his books are probably enjoyable for a lot of people because he structures his stories in ways that make them very readable. a lot of people probably enjoy his plot twists too, although I always thought he was very cruel and cynical with his storytelling (re: specifically with how he pokes fun at himself and the genres he’s working with in a manner decidedly meant to evoke ridicule. like… where is your fucking whimsy! he has no respect for the artistic process of writing besides telling stories - and as a writer myself I can’t abide that kind of an author being paraded around as an aspirational figure) and very disconnected from reality (specifically with respect to Reverse Misogyny, Reverse Racism and Oppressed People Should Find A Middle Ground With Oppressors. it frankly disgusts me) besides being just terrible at handling any theme even if I can concede that some of his ideas are good (on that note, I think his worldbuilding is also very overrated, constituting a mish mash of different concepts that don’t quite cohere. you can tell that he used to run dnd games). I just think his stories are probably more comparable to pjo, writing and skillwise, and I enjoyed one of them better (it was pjo). I also outgrew young adult long ago, which means his works could never appeal to me even if he wasn’t Like That (whatever That means when you’re a kind of very privileged white mormon guy who has a very protective fan base). The problem that is the terrible quality of his work also mostly stems from pumping out 500k-1 million words a year. it’s just not possible for any of that to be very good, I’m sorry. at one point quantity does very much become indicative of quality. no good or sane writer would publish any of that material unless it was heavily, heavily edited (his books are not well edited either, but I feel sorry for whoever his editor is). I don’t think there’s a single line anybody could pull from his works that I would find poignant, meaningful or quotable precisely because of his tendency to put down on paper anything and everything that occurs to him (there’s a reason why his works read like a disjointed stream of consciousness). his works also convey the sort of smug, contented state of confident self-possession he’s managed to reach where he’s comfortable publishing any piece of bad writing (I’m saying this after reading the first couple chapters of tress of the emerald sea, so I don’t think anyone can really accuse me of not reading his recent and therefore, supposedly, better works) because he has an established fan base that’s ready to eat it up. he also does suck at writing women. like a lot. it’s a conversation that nobody is really ready for even when they critique the deplorable depictions of oppression and class dynamics in his books - his male characters are always the real stars of the show and are clearly very dear to him besides being the vessels through which he inserts a lot of religious commentary that specifically stems from his background. he also does (consciously and unconsciously) insert lot of conservative rhetoric in his books when he’s writing his female characters.
whatever - I’m not stopping you from enjoying his stuff. but to put it very crudely, I think his stories also suffer from the same issues that the mcu does.
#this is probably not a great response because I’m in class but it’s my most measured one yet. success.#you can check out my ‘brandon’ tag for other complaints/criticism/general#thoughts about his body of work if you want.#I would attach actual quotes and critique his writing and grammar and sentence structure if somebody asked but I did delete all the#ebooks of his stuff I had for my own mental health. I just don’t care enough about somebody I hate That Much to spend a lot of time#critiquing. I’d rather critique even the worst of sjm’s stuff probably. idk.#asks#anon asks#brandon#sanderson critical
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I’ll be real I do not think this description is accurate, you will have to ask the people who know me who aren’t me <3333
Anyways! Here’s the details for the tag game <3
1. Do this uquiz
2. Make a moodboard based on your results
3. Pick a song that goes with it
4. Enjoy and pass along!
I was tagged by the one true love of my existence, @thecollectionsof , thank you for the tag my beloved Gi <3
I’m gonna tag @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney @adoordelano @aqpippin @themetaluna and @goodemethyd (sorry if any of y’all have already been tagged, have fun!!!)
#Spotify#tag game#about me?#terracotta#idk if it’s me but the more I read it I’m like yeah maybe#but like if terracotta cried a lot and really loved to be fake vulnerable to hide the real vulnerable#I’ve got a very soft mushy emotional core okay#anyways :)#making this moodboard was kinda hard cause Pinterest was showing me so many pots#and I didn’t want an all pot moodboard#oh also! this artist is great I went to choir camp with her in high school and then we were in choir together in college#her music fucks severely so if you like this kind of indie style listen to all her stuff she’s so talented!!!#madisenxoxo
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Idk about y’all but I think Deadpool & Wolverine is putting my faith back into Marvel a little because it was honestly one of the best Marvel movies I’ve seen in a hot minute
Spoilers/rant in tags!!! 🏷️
#spoilers in tags fair warning!!!#rant in tags fair warning!!!#relatable#lol#a day in star’s wacky life#deadpool & wolverine#Deadpool 3#okay so my opinion lately on Marvel stuff is that everything’s been going downhill since Endgame (a very basic opinion but idc)#like I did not like Endgame; Eternals was visually beautiful but not good in other aspects;#and I feel like Marvel movies now are made to be a ‘watch once and never again’ thing where you can’t rewatch movies or else it’ll worsen#over each watch which sucks because movies shouldn’t be made like that#and that now it’s obviously becoming a ploy to make money over quality stuff#but idk Deadpool & Wolverine was so good that I know that I can watch again and still enjoy it#like yeah there were some typical Marvel stuff in the movie (like Vanessa and Wade being broken up??? why does every Marvel couple now-#up in between movies??? they did it with so many characters to ‘give them development’ but honestly it’s stupid and instead ruins a lot of-#the character development the character made in the movie before and is now just a way to make the character be like ‘im brokenhearted so-#I can’t be serious anymore and need to laugh through my pain teehee’ like no that’s dumb and I’m tired of it Marvel)#but anyways even with the few typical Marvel ‘sense of humor’ it felt more like making fun of it since it’s ya know Deadpool#and it seemed like it was something people had fun making so it made it more fun#idk I might just be falling back into the whole Marvel thing but I thought it was great and I loved seeing Channing Tatum as Gambit#like he was amazing as Gambit istg I would kill to see him be Gambit in another movie and be exactly like how he was here
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they look half dead ☹️
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#matt sharp#i rlly like rivers’ hair in this one! it’s epicness#i liked his hair in the 90s with his bowl cut.#bowl cuts are cool#and he looked great w it !#anyways yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday party; and i got him some chaos emeralds from sonic that he’s been wanting like ; forever!#it was fun for the most part; but nobody told me we would be swimming plus i was the only girl there sooo i was just sitting around while#everybody swam and stuff. and my friend hayden i guess felt bad so he stayed out of the pool despite having swimwear and just played mobile#games with me; which was fun and i really appreciated but this guy ; who will remain nameless was being rlly mean to me at the party#like he was saying stuff abt how my boyfriend didn’t really like me THAT much (we have been together for nearly a year…)#and other things like that; which made me rlly sad and i kept asking my mom to pick me up but she wasn’t answering so i couldn’t do anything#besides trying not to cry and stuff. but it’s okay#and after everybody went inside besides me and my boyfriend ; we were cleaning up the table since the guys left all their trash and i had#like a whole pile of trash; like tons of plates and a whole stack of trash still; the guy from earlier who was mean just like#put his trash on top of the trash i was already carrying inside#since the guys were all crowded around the trash cans (he was closest; but he couldn’t throw it away; rather he wanted to deliberately just#put it on the pile i was carrying ) and it wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t mean earlier; i wouldn’t have cared so much#but he was being real mean and just did that. and i’m a passive person ; but i rolled my eyes a ton at it and idk it felt like the#other guys were laughing; which made me feel even more awful about the fact but yeah so i rolled my eyes tons and he told my bf that he was#sorry about it; but didn’t say it to me and stuff and idk it just made me feel bad#when i was younger i got bullied a lot and people would throw their trash on my lunch tray n it just reminded me of that and made me sad;#but it’s okay now! other than that i had a good time and it was fun! my boyfriend said he loved my gift to him so ya! :D it was fun other#than the stuff with the guy! but yeah. not rlly weezer related tags today; just really wanted to get that off my chest#my boyfriends mom asked if i felt left out; which i definetly did and really wanted to go home but ik i couldn’t so i was just sitting at a#table alone for abt 20 mins while everybody was changingninitially#but it’s okay! ty for listening to my rant i love u all
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shout out to people who have no creative juices because they’re in a bad situation
shout out to people who want to create but have to save all their energy for coping
shout out to people who need to create to survive but can’t create when they’re in survival mode
i see you and i love you
it will get better
#idk if i should tag this as#vent#about writing#about drawing#i miss writing man i miss drawing#i miss posting my creations and interacting with people who like my stuff#it’s just so hard rn. not going to get into what my situation is rn but it’s not great#i feel like i’m sinking further away from being able to create the longer this goes on#but i have to wait it out. i have to wait. i have to survive. it will get better#mj rambles
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