#;; please talk to me if its anything serious
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d3vdgvrlll · 3 days ago
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this is a more serious post so if u dont wanna read it u dont have to but id appreciate if everyone who likes my blog does- this will be the only kind of disclaimer i ever do.
i was gonna try to phrase this in a more diplomatic way but thats just not me. if u dont like what i say, please block, dont report.
my page is a place were i post my thoughts, and im tired of not asying them so here-
-idc abt the victims of the school shootings
-idc abt people shipping the school shooters. if u wanna do it, do it, but keep in mind these people have been bullied their whole lives and the words that pushed them over the edge haunt them after their death- so... yeah
-i dont feel bad for literally a single one of the victims or victims families, even if they were innocent in the bulying, i just dont care. idk why, i jujst cant bring myself to. i have alot of emotion abt people and i care, so i know im not a psychopath, but genuinely... who cares?
-if you care, thats great. block me, and move on.
-nothing is ever that fucking deep
-everyone hating on parasocial is just as retarded as she is.
-if you have sick thoughts, of any sort, talk to me. i will always listen, and youll prolly see we are pretty similar.
-acting on your sick thoughts and feeling guilty does not purify you, which is why (as someone whos never actually done anything ive tbhought of) i dont feel guilt. guilt is needless and unnecesary, and it does nothing for anyone. never has for me.
-im a genuinely well rounded person, ive just been through so much shit- its not an excuse for my behavior, but tbh i dont need an excuse, because poeple who need one are usually apoligizing, and im definetly not.
BLOCK DONT REPORT
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buckyssoldat · 2 days ago
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Together (Steve Rogers x Reader)
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Summary: After a chaotic mission, you and Steve seek refuge at a remote cabin. As you share a light-hearted moment, a deeper connection begins to form between you. However, your peaceful night is interrupted by danger, and together, you face an unexpected threat.
Word count: 1.7k
Requested: No
Warnings: violence, language, blood (brief mentions), slight sexual tension, mature themes, fighting, fluff, friends to lovers
A/N: This was a scene that was supposed between Steve and Alice (my OC from my original series), but I ended up not using it, so here it is, with a few changes. Also, please check my series ‘Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier’. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)
The night air was crisp as you and Steve trekked through the dense forest, your footsteps muffled by the layer of fallen leaves underfoot. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting eerie shadows that danced around you. You had just returned from a covert mission that had spiralled into chaos, and now you were heading to a safe house tucked away in the mountains.
“Not every problem can be solved with a knife, you know,” Steve said, breaking the silence that had settled between you.
You shot him a teasing grin, feeling the familiar thrill of playful banter you always shared. “I know, that’s why I always carry multiple knives.” You reached into your pocket and pulled out a small, glinting blade, twirling it between your fingers.
Steve’s expression shifted to one of mock exasperation. “And multiple guns?”
You chuckled, opening your backpack to reveal an array of weapons hidden beneath a layer of clothes. “Always prepared, Captain.”
He shook his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You really think you can just slice your way through everything?”
“Why not? It’s worked out for me so far.” You winked, enjoying the lightness of the moment. After the tension of the mission, it felt good to be teasing him again.
Your friendship with Steve had always been a source of strength for both of you. The two of you had met during the early days of the Avengers, forming an unbreakable bond forged in the fires of battle. You admired his unwavering dedication and moral compass, while he appreciated your resourcefulness and quick thinking. Together, you balanced each other out, like two pieces of a puzzle.
You often spent downtime in each other’s company, sharing stories, jokes, and the occasional sparring match to blow off steam. On nights like this, you could talk for hours about anything and everything. You knew you could trust him with your secrets, just as he trusted you with his.
As you reached the cabin, the warmth enveloped you, and you felt the weight of the world lift just a little. The crackling fireplace provided a soft glow, illuminating the rustic interior. You dropped your gear near the door and moved to the window, peering outside into the dark woods. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery light that seemed to whisper secrets of its own.
“Let’s check the perimeter,” Steve suggested, moving to the door. You nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of safety with him by your side.
The two of you stepped outside, surveying the area. The calm of the forest was almost eerie, and you could feel the adrenaline still coursing through your veins. After ensuring there were no immediate threats, you both returned to the cabin, the warmth enveloping you again.
“Do you think we’ll be safe here?” you asked, plopping down on one of the worn sofas, stretching out your legs.
Steve leaned against the doorframe, his expression serious. “For now. We’ll need to wait until the heat dies down before we can head back.”
You nodded, but your mind wandered. You had always admired Steve’s ability to remain calm and collected in the face of danger, but tonight, there was something more that tugged at your heartstrings. You had been friends for years, sharing countless missions and battles, but lately, your feelings for him had deepened.
“Do you ever think about what we do?” you asked, your voice softer. “I mean, all this – fighting, running, hiding. What happens when it’s all over?”
Steve’s gaze softened as he took a step closer, resting against the arm of the sofa. “I try not to think too far ahead. It can get overwhelming.”
“Yeah,” you murmured, looking down at your hands. “But it’s hard not to, isn’t it? I just… sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a normal life.”
He paused, studying you with an intensity that made your heart race. “What do you mean by ‘normal’?”
You bit your lips, debating whether to share your thoughts. “You know, a life where we’re not constantly fighting for our lives. A life where we can just… be. Maybe even be together.” The last part slipped out before you could catch yourself, and your heart raced as you glanced up to see Steve’s reaction.
For a moment, the air was thick with tension, and you could see the gears turning in his mind. “Together?” he echoed softly, his blue eyes searching yours.
The vulnerability in his gaze made you feel exposed, but you didn’t look away. “Yeah. I mean, as friends. But maybe more?”
Steve took a deep breath, his expression shifting from a surprise to contemplation. “You know I care about you, right? You’re one of the most important people in my life.”
You nodded, feeling a rush of warmth at his words. “I care about you too, Steve. But sometimes I feel like there’s something more there, something we’re both afraid to acknowledge.”
He moved closer, his presence filling the space between you. “I don’t want to put you in danger. You know how risky our lives are.”
“I get that. But it’s also risky to keep pretending we don’t have these feelings.” You leaned forward, searching his gaze for any sign of understanding.
Steve’s expression softened further, and he reached out to take your hand. “You’re right. I’ve felt it too, but I’ve always been scared. Scared of what it could mean for us, for our friendship.”
You squeezed his hand gently, your heart pounding. “Maybe it doesn’t have to mean anything at all. Maybe we could just explore it and see where it leads.”
A small smile tugged at his lips, and for a moment, it felt like the weight of the world had lifted. “I’d like that.”
The two of you sat in comfortable silence, fingers intertwined as you allowed the moment to settle around you. It felt like the beginning of something beautiful, yet terrifying.
But just as you were getting lost in the moment, a sudden noise outside jolted you both from your reverie, shattering the peaceful atmosphere. Your instincts kicked in, and you sprang to your feet, adrenaline flooding your system once more. “What was that?”
“Stay here,” Steve instructed, his tone sharp as he moved toward the door. “I’ll check it out.”
“Steve, wait!” You rushed to his side, grabbing his arm. “You can’t go out there alone. Whatever it is, we can face it together.”
He hesitated, then nodded, recognizing the truth in your words. “Okay, but stay close.”
You both stepped outside, the darkness wrapping around you like a shroud. You scanned the area, your senses heightened. “Do you see anything?”
“No, but it feels off,” he murmured, his voice low as he peered into the shadows.
Suddenly, a figure lunged from the trees, and you instinctively moved to push Steve out of the way. The impact knocked you both to the ground, and you quickly rolled to regain your footing. The attacker, cloaked in shadows, swung a weapon toward Steve, who deftly dodged and countered with a punch that sent the assailant sprawling.
“Get inside!” he shouted, pushing you toward the cabin.
You didn’t argue, sprinting for the cabin as Steve fought off the attacker. You grabbed one of your knives from your backpack, ready to assist. Just as you turned back, a second figure emerged, catching you off guard.
With quick reflexes, you threw the knife, hitting the figure in the shoulder. They stumbled back, giving you a moment to regroup. But your moment of relief was short-lived as you turned to see Steve grappling with the first attacker, struggling to gain the upper hand.
“Steve!” you shouted, rushing back to help. You tackled the second figure, throwing them off balance and buying Steve the time he needed to subdue his opponent.
Together, you fought off the attackers, adrenaline coursing through your veins. After a brief struggle, the two figures finally retreated, disappearing back into the shadows from where they came.
Breathing heavily, you and Steve stood amidst the aftermath, your hearts racing. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern etched on his face.
You nodded, though your hands trembled slightly. “Yeah, just a little shaken up.”
Steve stepped closer, his expression softening. “You didn’t have to jump in like that. I could have handled it.”
“Maybe, but we work better as a team.” You looked up at him, your heart pounding not just from the fight, but from the electric connection between you. “I’m not afraid to fight for what matters.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. “You matter to me. More than you know.”
In that moment, with the adrenaline still rushing through your veins, it felt as though the world around you faded away. You could see the flicker of something deeper in his eyes, and before you could second-guess yourself, you stepped closer.
“Steve, I-” you started, but he interrupted you by closing the distance between you, his hand gently brushing against your cheek.
“I know,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. “I feel it too.”
And then he leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a kiss that ignited every feeling you had kept buried. It was tender yet fierce, a culmination of years of friendship, longing, and unspoken words.
When you finally pulled back, your breaths mingling in the cool night air, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The tension that had once lingered in the air had transformed into something beautiful.
“Wow,” you breathed, your heart racing. “That was… unexpected.”
“Unexpected, but not unwelcome,” Steve replied, a smile breaking across his face.
You laughed softly, feeling giddy with happiness. “Yeah, definitely not unwelcome.”
But as you both stood there, basking in the moment, a rustle in the bushes drew your attention once more. You exchanged worried glances, both of you snapping back to the reality of your situation.
“Looks like we’re not out of the woods yet,” Steve said, the urgency returning to his voice. You nodded, ready to face whatever came next – together.
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p4nishers · 2 years ago
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i have read every post order 66 fic under the sun and i can confirm they all vaguely start like ep3. they all DEFINITELY have cody deflecting at one point or another. very suspicious. u wanna tell us sumn dave? wanna share something with the class??
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opikiquu · 7 months ago
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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hermitcraftx · 2 months ago
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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navxry · 11 months ago
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Navi ily grandchild, may you live long and may you find a way to strangle all those blorbos (especially Scaramouche). May you slay thy enemies with your heels. Crush them. Amen
HOLD ON THIS CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD LMAO HELLO???
Ansy ily /p but also this concerns me (till I saw your post and went "oh thank God it's nothing serious", I swear I think of the worst outcomes on god)
also is your boss telling you to do shit (ahem Ayato) because I WILL beat him up, he better leave you be in ur retirement
But yes I will kick their ass <3 you better kick ur boss's ass and go back to Dain. He's going to end up being a delusional yan if you don't.
(actually he might LMAOOO)
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electricpurrs · 1 year ago
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i have an actual vicious petty anger for the "celsius vs fahrenheit discourse" (and general discourses for metric vs non metric system) cause it literally just boils down to people being unable to fit in their heads the idea that different people from different cultures will do things a different way, and the way they do it feels right and natural to them, and doesnt mean the one YOURE used to is the best one??? i literally feel like im going insane cause i dont know why thats even a thing people care to discuss
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mx-lamour · 11 months ago
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I see art with top surgery scars, even some really jaggedy ones, and I applaud them and I think they're beautiful. Sincerely, I love the celebration of self-actualization and comfort.
But also. For my chest.
My loves, I am a tailor. If my seams don't come out smooth and exact, I'm going to feel compelled to rework those darts myself and trust me no one wants that.
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hightaled · 1 year ago
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my schedule and my classes are so fucking awful and i am filled with more contempt and vitriol than ever this year
#cannot even begin to complain on the level that my art teacher deserves this year but by god i will try#first she starts with a ban on headphones and earbuds LIKE GIRL!#what do you mean for me to listen to. the sound of every possible obnoxious junior in one class#the ugly fucking rich white boy senior#and the girl who likes to take embarrassing photos of everyone including her friends and post them on instagram#AND her repeating the same few directions every single day for 30 minutes because she loves the sound of her own voice??#second the way she talks actually just pisses me off#she is a worse speaker than me which is saying something she will just go on and on and on#someone will ask her a question and she will mention like 5 famous artists like theyre obscure and as if high schoolers know who they are#WE GET IT!! YOU WENT TO RISD!! YOU KNOW WHO BAUHAUS IS!!#its so pretentious and not helpful at all and she will take the other hour and a half to only talk to one of her favorite students#no one asked. no one is going to google fucking mondrian okay please be realistic#shes both so serious and so silly. this class is a college level course if you dont think u can do it switch to choir#also every senior has to have a direction and a theme for the rest of the year regardless of whether youre even taking the test#fucking bitch do you think anyone has a choice its literally impossible to switch in high school#i would literally much rather be singing the national anthem or whatever i would do anything to escape the idea of having a THEME#i am not going to develop deep involved ideas in three classes and you should go die if you think i care enough to be drawing for school#outside of class time. i am literally cooler and already a better artist than you are#if you would like to talk about cliches in art i will pull up your ugly basic portfolio right now you dick#never met anyone less suited to being an art teacher i hope the school burns down#im not suicidal im not a suicidal person but every time i have to be in that room all my will to live just is lost#she hates me personally too she's always on my ass about anything and everything and also will not help me if i do ask#like what does she want me to do about it? take initiative? if i wanted to develop as an artist i would not be listening to her#she said she wanted 50 hours a week outside of class. i Wil shoot myself by the way. top ten people i would blame in my suicide letter.#honestly i can deal with first period PE i can deal with having that ugly rich white boy in my chem and my cs and my lit and my civics but.#art class.#god i hope he dies too instead of any of the 7 people i like at this school in any of my classes i have a mansplainer#anyways i feel a mild cold and my period coming on im normal i prommy#also every time i step into the school building i get a headache#its like the deodorant perfume cologne combined with the stench of everyone having mandatory pe for 5/6 years
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nt3000s · 1 year ago
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im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it
#i just want ti go to sleep but i cant my sleep schedule has been so miserably depressing me#not that badly. i cherish every moment i have with the people around me and i cherish how lucky i am to be surrounded by such unbe#lievable people. i am happy everyday because people love me.#this will never be lost on me. the importance of it. the importance you all have will never ever be lost on me. your worth as a human being#you are so kind. you are so talented. you are loved by people because you are seen by people that way. i will never lose this#im miserably desperate for everyone i know to feel loved or to know that i love them. nothing will ever ever ever in my whole fucking life#ever be more important to me#nothing in my fucking life will ever be more important than that. please know how much you mean to this. to everything#i dont know what changed but i cry so often now and every single time my thoughts wander to how deeply i feel about this#im just sobbing and sobbing and im like. i love the people that care for me. i love the people i care for#i know when i stop crying or when the day rolls over i get to talk to everyone again. and i feel so lucky. i feel so desperate to explain it#how. much. it. means. to me. How badly i mean this and everything I say.#i dont fucking care if yoire my mutual from fandom or someone who random followed because my blog was funny#someone i talked to once or twice. you mean so much. i swear to god. ill never be mpre genuine or more serious. i guess#thats very kind of you to do that. or like my posts or anything. youre very kind for that. you mean alot to me.#i just dont want to fall asleep when the sun rises and wake up with a few hours to talk to people before im alone#i really hate it right now. and my neutral state has genuinely just been on the brink of crying. like if i sit still too long i just sob#thats genuinely how i have been for the past few days#and thats not the fault of anyone its just how my brain has been treating me#but whdn i get like this i just remember how lucky i feel about everything. like the depth of my feelings#you really just have to trust me when i say like how forever sincere and deep snd monumental it is to me. like please understand the depth#of when i say i love you. dear god i love everyone ive ever met i love you. please please please please understand how desperate i am#i will never ever feel more strongly about anything. i cant imagine it#i have to make this exact same fucking post over and over again#i need to keep saying it man#i need people to love themselves like i love them#the degree to which i say the word need#anyway. i love you. i hope you have fun or are happy about something. or draw write something nice. talk to your best friend. something
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madwickedawesome · 1 year ago
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anons sending me love confessions but im in the rtc fandom so theyre probably 12 is like an actual hell to me
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mako-neexu · 2 years ago
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#i try not to be surprised by the trash fgo gives me in gacha but i cant help but still be upset XD i hate it here. i wish i can stop playing#but i also hate missing events and log in bonuses....im only moving forward because of#story i love the characters but this game is just :)))))))#this is my 49053806th complaint about this game why am i not leaving indeed#i mean i took hiatus one time and it was freeing to forget about the fate series lol#but i got sucked into a black hole and now im struggling to get away from it kdfbhliwefb#ive cried over not getting merlin every banner he got....its just sad that everyone i know has him#meanwhile its taking me literal years to get him#i hate the dont worry youll get him soon! phrases...yes well im jealous and youre not frustrated#as i am#i hate hate hate hate spending money on anything gambling related but uhhhhh shrugs#i wish gacha a very die out soon please#everytime i realize im spending money on voiced jpegs its funny but then theres the serious matter for my psychological needs and stability#to keep me sane haha#i hate it here its not healthy for me its a toxic relationship between me and this game and i need out...#but romani and the story.... i love them too much to leave....#what to do...#i kind of hate talking to friends who whale too and yes im a hypocrite but wow you whale at least you get him meanwhile i spend dollars#on trash and useless crap thanks#[oh dont worry youll get him soon] then they add a smiley face i just wanna wrap my#fingers around my neck and end it allllllllllllllll
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haunted-house-heart · 2 years ago
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living with someone with untreated mental illness is like. i understand why you're like this and i do empathize but also like. jesus fucking christ get some help before i throttle you i stg
#i hate my sis so much. like i get it. i really do. a lot of how she acts is due to mental illness and trauma but at the same time she also#just really shitty. like ik recovery is different for everyone and you move at your own pace but she just. isnt recovering at all it seems#like its been 6yrs since we got out and my mom and i have worked really hard on getting better and changing our behaviors#all the while shes just getting worse and worse to be around. like shes legitimatrly turning into my (abusive) father#its terrifying honestly but we cant do anything about it bc you cant talk to her#you say like ''hey this thing you did upset me can you please try to not do that again'' not angry or anything and she starts crying and#yelling bc youre triggering her and its not fair and nobody loves her and like. i get that some people cry a lot and thats fine! i get that#but its literally impossible to talk to her about anything bc she acts like shes the victim and youre fuckin evil for telling her to please#not put her dirty clothes on my shelf i dont like that please. like thats not an unreasonable request and im not being mean about it! but#im the bad guy for doing anything that critisises her.#and she treats my mom like shit. like i could deal w her being a bitch to me but to momma? fuck no.#i dont believe you owe your parents shit but my mom has been a fucking saint when life dealt her a hand that shouldve made her a devil#she did her absolute best and *she* was the one that sacrificed everything to get us out#and my sister treats her like shes an incapable selfish idiot.#and she never lets me talk. shell talk for an hour about smth she knows i dont care about but when i try to tell her like. hey my fav band#is putting out a new album or smth im real excited about. she gets on her phone and just ignores me.#and she KNOWS this triggers me badly its made me suicidal before and yknow what happened then? i had to apologize for making HER feel bad#she talks over both of us but it you start talking when she was THINKING about talking she has a fit#and she actively tries to gaslight my mom. like im dead fuckin serious my mom has to ask me if smth really happened bc my sis told her it#did/didnt and she has to get me to confirm the truth for her#and she treats her pets like crap she should not be allowed to have pets bc she just loses interest in them and stops taking care of them#and we have to pick up the slack#its literally just like being with my dad again. walking on eggshells all the time#my mom cant watch tv at night bc ellie gets pissed at her for ''waking her up''. even tho she claims she never sleeps.#i hate her so so much i want to punch her i want her to move out i want to never ever see her again#but rn we cant afford to live on our own. so we have to stay with her#anyway.#vent#tw abuse
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deadlydelicious · 2 months ago
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God I did my whole first term masters theory on the Degenerate Art Exhibit so this is a special interest area of mine that gets me fired up.(and its why I am so aggressively pro ‘absolute art’ (aka the idea that anything is art) and so anti ‘modern art is bad’) because no fucking joke - ‘modern art is bad and useless’ is core fascist ideology. its literally one of their first building blocks facists lay down to route out ‘undesirables’ when taking over a culture.
So the Degenerate Art in Nazi Germany was both a label handed out by the Ministry of Propeganda against certain artists, and an actual exhibition staged by the Nazis. The exhibition toured over the years, but the first was held in 1937, and in the years leading up to it, the ministry of propeganda seized THOUSANDS of artworks. People talk about the Nazis burning books and stealing art, but they tend to think of the stolen art in terms of the Nazi plunder (aka hi-value art pieces being stolen from Jewish families or invaded countries and being distributed to party officals) but they forget that the Nazi's stole and destroyed thousands of artworks from living artists because they either saw the artists or the subject of the artwork itself as 'entartet' (degenerate). Officals from Goebbels Minstry of Propeganda oversaw the removal of hundreds of works of art from museums across the invaded territories throughout the war, and the raids of artists studios to steal and destroy art and arrest artists. Some of what wasn't destroyed was exhibited in the Degenerate Art Exhibit.
The exhbition was held in 1937 in Munich, and it was essentially the art equivalent of a 'freak show', as in ‘come look at these degenerate examples of art’, or ‘come look at the art made by degenerates’, to show Germans the stupid frivolous nature of art and build their case that modern artists were an economic drain and a danger to the pure ideal of Germany. The Nazis also hosted another exhibit across the street at the same time called the Great German art exhibition, which held all the neoclassical style art create by the Nazis offical artists, to show good Germans what proper art was.
Now why they showed the art is for a couple of reasons. You have to keep in mind that pre-nazi Weimar Germany was sort of a cultural hub for modern artists, so there were a lot of them, and it was also a country expiriencing MASSIVE economic issues, so the goal was to make these artists feel like the enemy - to say modern art was expensive and ridiculous. It was also importantly a move to try and silence a large portion of artists who were VERY traumatised by WW1 and were trying to depict that trauma through art, which the Nazi's hated because it ruined the image of the 'strong but wronged' German soldier they were trying to push in an effort to kick start their hostile takeover of Europe. Artists like Kathë Kollwitz creating memorials depicting grieving parents rather than matryed heros, or Ernst Balach depicting WW1 soldiers as emaciated terrified young boys huddling in the shroud of death didn't really back up Hitlers vision of the great German Ubermensch. Images and ideas that were seen to weaken the image and integrity of Germany and were therefore a threat to the powerful German state.
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A lot of the artists who had their work seized spent the rest of the war being closely monitored by Goebbels men, with their ability to purchase art supplies or create art almost entirely denied, and some of them were arrested as political prisoners.
The V&A museum has a PDF of the full inventory of degenerate art avalibile online here
and I highly urge people to explore the work of the artists who had their work siezed, artists like Ernst Barlach, Elfriede Lohse-Wächtler, Karl Schwesig, Otto Dix, Emil Nolde, and of course Kathë Kollwitz (who may or may not be my favourite artist of all time). They had their legacies destroyed by the actions of a fascist state, and they deserve for their art to be admired and remembered. As artists, legacy is often everything. Disrespect a Nazi today by honoring the legacy and voice of someone they wanted you to forget
Stop using the word degenerate to mean horny challenge
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slutofpsh · 4 months ago
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strip for me.
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part four
pairings: hyungline x reader
synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.
wc: 8.4k
warnings: heavy smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. this is not proof read.
note: this is not the end for strip for me so calm down. we have more to come. the next part will be heeseung’s solo part. anyway, i know it took time so please enjoy it. reblogs and replies are highly encouraged. this is not proof read so excuse the errors for now. let me know your thoughts by sending me asks. thank you so much.
part one; two; three
slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.
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“we’re going to have so much fun...” jake stated meaningfully before winking at you.
your steps halt from approaching the chair they reserved for you. their eyes are fully focused that despite the teacher’s continuous rambling about the project, they don’t give her any attention.
“you can sit here, doll.” and sunghoon drags the chair near him then taps it once before flashing you a soft smile, his fangs showing.
“what happened to the uniform i lend you?” he sounds a little upset while looking at your fresh polo. heeseung got you a new one that fits you perfectly.
you blushed, “i p-put it on my locker. i will wash it first then give it back to you. thank you for let me borrow it.”
he smirks, “nah, you can keep it.”
jake and jay stared at him with confusion. they can clearly remember how bad his mood was these past few days, now he’s acting like as if he’s the happiest man that walked on earth. it’s just so odd.
you obliged and sat beside sunghoon while he stare at you, eyes almost forming heart. heeseung scoffs and took off his coat then placed it on your lap since you’re wearing a skirt. a bit too short from his liking, to be specific.
with blushing cheeks, you thanked him silently.
“did i miss anything?” jake asks, confused.
jay furrowed his brows and stared at his two other friends. heeseung met his eyes and cleared his throat before sitting straight. sunghoon seemed unbothered, eyes still fixed at you with a grin on his handsome face.
“w-why?” you asked him, feeling slightly uneasy because of how he’s not taking his eyes off from you.
“nothing, you look pretty.” he mumbled so naturally before dragging your chair even closer. he did it with so much ease, he’s so strong.
you glanced away, trying hard to ignore his heated gaze. jake’s watching all of these with his two eyes without blinking. a hint of confusion and a mix of jealousy flickers inside him.
“the fuck is going on?” he stated with so much sarcasm.
if jay can shut his mouth and ignore it, well definitely not jake. he has a lot of questions inside his mind. why are his friends acting like this? and most of all, why the fuck aren’t you like that to him?
“let’s just discuss the project.” heeseung blurted out, blocking any chances to be asked by jake.
he was about to complain more, wanting to dig about this situation deeper, but stopped himself. with clenched jaw, he rests his back on his chair then glanced at your lowered head.
he scoffed, “sweetheart, i’m a little jealous. you need to make it up to me.” he stated that made your cheeks blush, ears turning red.
sunghoon rolls his eyes and impatiently taps the table, “let’s start!”
and with that, heeseung then discusses the possible topics you can research for this project. your mouth slightly gaps at how he was able to keep up with what the teacher was saying when you clearly saw him focusing on you moments ago.
it went on, its just jay who listens and you, slightly. jake and sunghoon didn’t even tries to act that they are serious to this project, one plays through his phone, the other had his head slumped over the desk. sunghoon’s hand lays on yours casually, its been like that ever since he lowered his head to sleep.
jake whined when he loses the round and glances at your direction. he smirks and winks at you which made you blush. he giggles and eyes unconsciously landed on sunghoon’s hand.
his smirk faltered and childishly removes it. jay notices and scoffed before writing down on his notes. jake then grabs your hand to intertwin your fingers together, a satisfied smile plastering his handsome face.
heeseung rolls his eyes at it then continued talking about the project that the other two boys obviously doesn’t care about.
“we’ll be doing our project on our house later.” heeseung said as a last statement to wrap your small meeting.
your head perks and back straightened at what he just said. his eyes caught you right away, attentive of you.
“can we just d-do it here at school?” you suggested since doing it on their house doesn’t sit right for you.
one of his eyebrow arches upwards, “do you have any problem doing it in mine?” he asks using a serious tone.
your lips slightly trembles and glances at jake on your side when he gradually took your hand on his lips to place a gentle kiss.
“u-uhm, i can’t go h-home late. my mom will be so worried.” you tried to reason out.
it was partly true as she was used of you coming home early. heeseung’s house is pretty far from your school and so it will take time to go home. besides, you have no problem asking your mom to pick you up by the school gate, but it will definitely raise curiosity if you suddenly ask her to pick you up at a random house.
his head tilts, “leave that one to me.” he stated and then stood up to leave the circle.
“b-but—” you are held down by jake, yanking your arms to prevent you from standing up and follow heeseung.
jay stood up then taps sunghoon on the shoulder to wake him up.
“no buts, sweetheart.” and jake leans to give you a swift kiss on the cheek then leave as well.
your eyes widen and roamed around to check if somebody saw. they’re pretty busy discussing about the project, seems like your group was the first one to finish.
a large hand resting at the small of your back is what snaps you back to your senses. he gently caress it up and down then you look over your shoulder to face sunghoon.
his eyes squints a bit, obvious that he just got awoken from a nap. “something wrong?” he asks.
you shake your head lightly and he just stares for a while before nodding his head. he stood up and guided you to go back to your chair as well.
the period ended and after the whole class thanked the teacher and bid her good-bye, she walks out of the room. after feeling the need to use the bathroom, you headed out as well.
jake’s eyes follows you and when you’re out of his sight already, he swat sunghoon’s shoulder.
“the fuck is your problem?” he hissed at him, his brows drawned closer to each other and he sets his phone down like he’s ready to punch jake right away.
“my problem? what is your problem?” jake hisses back. “why are you suddenly acting like a fucking loser in front of y/n?”
jay smirks and just listens. heeseung watches too, a ghost of a smile playing over his lips.
sunghoon’s forehead slowly loses it crease then he acts innocent before glancing back at his phone. jake almost threw his notebook at him. he can’t believe it was that fast to calm him down. by the mere mention of your name.
“what do you mean? no i’m not.”
“here you go, baby. you can sit here, doll.” jake mimics him exaggeratedly. jay laughs at how he mirrored sunghoon while the latter clenches his jaw.
it was his turn to push jake’s shoulder. “i don’t talk that way!” he says, defensive.
“you actually do, dude.” jay fires back while heeseung just laughs because of it.
“whatever.” he mumbled, ears turning red.
jake rolls his eyes, “what the fuck happened? i thought we will punish her?” and his gaze moves from sunghoon towards heeseung.
heeseung straightens his back and glances away, totally guilty of it. jake just couldn’t believe it. these two were the ones so heated up when one of their classmates reported you meeting beomgyu up at the end aisles of the library. they were so hyped up on punishing you and then they’re acting like this?
“i fucking resisted dicking her down, man!” jake complained.
“nobody told you to do that.” heeseung shrugs his shoulder off that made jake clench his jaw, pissed off.
well, the older one was right. they never agreed on anything but to imply punishment. but that was jake’s punishment for you. that was his way to let you know that he’s mad and upset. you always knew how much he couldn’t get enough of you and how he would bury his dick inside you any chances he gets.
“jake’s right. i declined her orgasms to make a point.” jay stated, looking a bit upset as well.
the boys glances at him with furrow brows, “you did what?” jake asks in disbelief.
jay shrugs his shoulder, “you know how much i love seeing her get off. its always her pleasure over mine. i needed to send her a message.”
heeseung sighs and sunghoon was so ready to hold his collar right there and then.
“dude what the fuck? she must’ve felt so frustrated and bad!” he hissed at his friend.
now, jake’s pissed off eyes darted back at him. he pushes his friend to sit back properly.
“calm down lover boy, i’m not yet done with you.” he fired at him.
sunghoon lets out a strained sigh, completely done with jake targeting him nonstop.
“come on, i lost control too you know? but what am i suppose to do when she said she’s sorry? of course i couldn’t help it.” sunghoon ranted that made the three boys around him furrow their brows.
the frown on jake’s face deepens as jay and heeseung slightly loses their minds. they contemplates and wonders if they heard that right.
“what did you say?” heeseung fires at sunghoon that made him confused. the other two boys kept their mouth shut, jaw clenched.
“she said sorry.”
they were silenced when sunghoon repeated it for them to hear it clearly. jake was the first one to react as he scoffed and heaved a sigh to calm himself down.
“that’s it, you’ll be the last one to fuck her later.” jake stated, a bit (totally) pissed.
sunghoon thick brows furrowed now, “what? that’s unfair! when did we decided that?” his head cranes to the oldest, trying to gain alliance. after-all, heeseung is in charge of equality and fairness.
but to his surprise, the older one has his brows hardly furrowed as well. his eyes looking serious and are piercing right at him.
“i agree with jake.” jay says casually that made sunghoon complain even more.
“hyung?” sunghoon calls out heeseung because this is the perfect timing to step in and break this shit going on.
“sunghoon will be the last one to touch her then?”
to his dismay, its suddenly apppointed that he will sit back and watch while his three friends devour you. it will be torturous, but its better that than not having you later. he curses and just slumped his head over the table to distract himself with a good nap.
“fucking fuck.” jake curses, still pissed.
jay claps his shoulder, “calm down. i’m afraid you’ll piss your pants sooner or later.” he joked that only made him even more pissed.
he pushes his hands away, “shut up. i’ll surely get even later with y/n. she can’t do that.”
“hey, don’t be too carried away. you’ll scare her.” jay warns him before glancing to the older guy, “right, hyung?”
heeseung was silent before he lets out a heavy sigh. “no, i agree with jake.” he shut his eyes and massages his temple a bit.
“we need to teach her a lesson. she can’t have her favorite or it will ruin us all.”
on the other hand, you’re inside the girl’s bathroom and washing your hands when (name) walks in together with her minions. she’s one of the popular girls in your class. very pretty and rich.
her mean eyes darted right at you. it screams danger so you glanced away from her and just focuses on your hand.
she walks closer and stopped beside you.
“who can expect that the quiet girl in class can be such a cunt?” her words made your brows furrow.
“excuse me?” you’re taken aback with how aggressive she is. it was so unexpected. she never approaches or talk to you then suddenly she’s going in this hard?
the response obviously made her even more mad. she raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. one glance to her minions and they went on both of your sides, cornering you. they’re giggling like hyenas.
“ooh, look at you acting all brave just because you think those boys are interested in you?” the bitterness lingers over your tone.
your brows narrowed in confusion as to what she’s talking about. you wondered more, then realization finally hits you like a big truck. boys... heeseung and his friends?
you glanced at her, “i don’t know what you m-mean.”
oh no. you stuttered. and that only mean one thing. that you’re lying and you know you are. because you out of all people, knows what she means.
you thought you’re being slick on hiding what’s going on between you and those boys, but definitely you’re wrong. you couldn’t help, but to blame it on them as they’re the ones being so bold about it. also because they’re really the one should be blame for it.
she lets out a loud sarcastic laugh, her eyes oozing with anger. she pushes your shoulder off. “oh fuck you! i’m not dumb!”
you shut your eyes and was about to walk away when her minions hold you down.
“let me go!” you tried squirming, freeing yourself which you failed miserably.
one of them curses at you and even elbowed your side. you grunted and folds because of the pain. (name) then walks closer and yanked your arm so you can face her.
“bitch! whore!” and she started to be physical, slapping you left and right.
“p-please, stop...” you begged which they ignored completely. she just continued hurting you and her friends hold you to prevent any resistance.
“you think they really like you? think again bitch!” she pulls your hair hardly making you face upwards. when your tear stained eyes met her arrogant ones, she smirks.
“for them you’re just a toy they will play with until they’re sick and tired of you.” and after that one last sentence she pushed you hard to the floor.
her friends laughed so hard while you have yourself slumped across the cold concrete. tears streaming down your face.
“let’s go girls. let’s leave that slut alone.”
you cried, feeling your face hurting and some other places in your body. but that’s not what causing your tears to flow nonstop. its what (name) said that had a big blow on you.
what she says was partly right. you have no idea what those boys want from you and base on how they treats you is similar to what she implied. a toy. that’s all you are for them. and that hurts you so much.
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“y/n...” you snapped back to reality when you heard a faint call on your name.
“h-huh?” when you lift your head, you’re met with jay’s furrowed brows. his eyes scanning yours with gentle look on it.
heeseung stands a few feet away with jake. your hand sways that caught your attention, even before you can glance at the side, sunghoon’s face came into your view.
his brows folded in a worried way, “are you all right, doll?” and you can feel him squeeze your hand slightly.
“y-yes.”
he pursed his lips and scanned his eyes over your pretty face. his other free hand have your things. jake shows a displeased expression then walked towards your direction.
“give her some space. you’re crowding her.” he says, interrupting and even pushed sunghoon away from you.
hoon’s hand detached from holding yours that pissed him off a little. his eyes shooting glares at jake when he grab your wrist and started guiding you towards the car that just parked beside heeseung.
heeseung opened the door to the passenger seat when you’re near enough. he tilt his head asking you to enter his car. you glanced at his serious eyes, hands fidgets.
“my m-mom... she still doesn’t know—”
“don’t worry too much about it, angel. i already talked to her.” he stated in a lazy tone.
your mouth slightly gaps, doesn’t really want to believe him right away. you knew your mom. she’s a little bit strict when it comes to you hanging out a bit too late of your curfew at home.
“r-really?”
heeseung stares at your eyes before letting out a sigh. he fished his phone out from his pocket then dialled someone. he tapped the speaker on and eventually you heard the sound of somebody answering the phone.
“heeseung-ah?”
your eyes widen at the familiar voice errupting from the other line. heeseung handed you the phone so you can talk to her.
“m-mom..”
“y/n? darling, heeseung called me and told me that you’ll be staying late in their house for a group project?” she continuously said. you can tell base of the tone of her voice that she’s thrilled about you having friends.
“y-yes.”
“well, he’s such a nice boy. very polite as well and such a sweetheart for calling me himself to inform me about this project.” she blabbers nonstop. your cheeks blushed while feeling a bit embarrassed about it.
jake rolls his eyes as he throw his things inside his own car parked near heeseung’s. jay went to his and rest on it while waiting patiently. sunghoon hangs both of the straps of your bag on his shoulder before he gets on his big bike, holding his helmet on his free hand.
“u-uh, yes. he’s the president of the student council.” you answered while eyeing heeseung whose leaning on his car, near you. his hand rests at the open door for you.
“that’s great! he also told me that he’ll take you home later after it so i don’t have to worry.” she added.
eventually, she bids goodbye and so you did. your stares stayed at his phone before you handed it back to heeseung. he tilts his head again, asking you to enter his vehicle. without having any choice, you obliged.
you realized that no matter how hard you try to escape, there’s no getting away from them. they have control on everything and that’s what scares you the most. how smoothly they do these things and manipulate you on doing whatever that they all want. just like what (name) said. you’re like their toy.
“seatbelt, angel.” heeseung snaps you out of your own thoughts.
you nodded and grabbed over the safety strap on your side. your eyes caught sunghoon getting on his big motorbike and attractively putting his helment on for safety. you blushed unconsciously seeing your bag hangs on his broad shoulders and placed in front of him.
it looked totally out of place on how his all black motorbike and dark blue uniform mixed with your light colored school bag. it looked so feminine that you can already tell it doesn’t belong to the fine man.
his head cranes over to your side and even if heeseung’s car is heavily tinted and if sunghoon’s wearing a helmet, it seems like he’s looking directly to your eyes.
he started the engine of his bike and then a loud roaring sound errupts from it. he then bolted out from the parking lot of the school. both you and heeseung follows his bike driving away.
“such a show off.” he utters under his breath and then moves after jake drove his car out the parking.
the drive was as expected, slightly long. heeseung is quiet, only the faint song playing from the radio is what plays on the background. it was a little awkward, if you’ll be honest.
“are you cold?” you jolt a little when heeseung suddenly ask that question. he glanced at you briefly and you answered with a low ‘no’. he nods and then continued driving.
eventually, the vehicle slows down as it reaches near this huge elegant gate. your mouth gaps in amusement, eyes catching his friend’s vehicle entering as well. sunghoon’s big bike storms inside and even throw a middle finger at jake’s car.
“stay for a bit, angel. i’ll open your—” your heads whips over to the side when heeseung’s car bursts open.
jake leans downward to meet your eyes, hands rests in front, offering to help you.
“let’s go, sweetheart.” he smiles. you didn’t really have much of a choice as he reaches for your hand and guided you outside the car.
heeseung went out too and you saw jay getting off his vehicle as well. a small smirk playing over his sexy lips.
“what’s happening to the three of you, really?” he scoffs and rolls his eyes.
you glanced at the three as well, a confused look plastered all over your face. you did notice how they’re being weird from the parking lot incident.
“its because of jake. he’s so childish.” sunghoon commented right after walking near your place.
jake frowns, “no, i’m not!” he hardly objects.
heeseung rolls his eyes, “stop sulking, jake sim.” he then started walking towards the grand entrance of the big mansion right in front of you.
because of their small arguments, you failed to even notice it. now that you had the chance to admire it, you can tell that it reaks off money. some side comments and other complaints can be heard from jake but your focus was at the big house.
soon, a hand placed gently on the lower of your back.
“let’s go inside, baby.” jay says lowly and started to guide you towards the house.
you gulped, but followed him. its not like you have other options. besides you’re here to do the project... right?
when you made it inside, there are a lot of helpers assisting and attending to heeseung.
“welcome back, sir jay.” one greets when she noticed the guy beside you. looks like he’s often here that the maids are familiar of him.
oh, silly you. they all grew up together. it just made sense that they’re often at each other’s house.
“this is miss y/n.” he introduces you that caught you off-guard. she shifted her eyes to you and smiled warmly before offering a bow.
you panicked then bows back. “h-hi!”
“are you sir jay’s girlfriend?” she curiously asked right after.
“u-uhh—”
“what are you two doing? let’s go to my room.” heeseung interrupts with a stern voice.
jay smiles at the maid before guiding you towards the second floor. you just gave a small smile to the lady and just let yourself go to wherever jay asks you to.
heeseung and jay then started talking about a left work on the student council’s office. it was none of your concern so you try to busy yourself with the things you can see around the house. the interior of the whole place was just amazing. you can tell they spent a lot for their home.
you stopped walking once jay and heeseung did and you saw a door in front of heeseung. he glanced at you before opening it.
your steps halted when you’re about to go inside. something inside you just grow worried. you have no idea why, but your heart kept on beating so fast.
they noticed your sudden hesitation so both of them glanced over their shoulders, looking at you.
“what’s wrong?” jay asks while heeseung remains silent.
you gulped and took a short glance around heeseung’s spacious room. “n-nothing.”
you took a long breath, “c-can’t we just do it at your living room?” you pull up a smile in order to not raise any suspicion. the last thing you want is for them to think that you’re taking this in a wrong way.
“what’s wrong with doing it inside my room?” heeseung asks nonchalantly.
you took a step back, “u-uhm,—” you gasps when your back suddenly collided with a broad chest.
“going somewhere, doll?” sunghoon stares down at you while he stood gloriously behind you.
jake scoffs and then wrapped his arms around your shoulder, pulling up a mischievous grin.
“let’s go inside, okay? we’re going to have so much fun!” he cheers with a big smile, but you can feel your stomach churns and heart beating so fast.
sunghoon steps forward pushing you inside the room. heeseung sat down his gaming chair and rotates it so he’s facing his king sized bed. jay took off his coat and hangs it neatly by the sofa. jake’s smirking while watching you closely.
you feel timid being around and watched by them, so you looked everywhere except their eyes. the silence stretched for a couple of minutes before heeseung breaks it.
“strip, angel.” he starts then rests his back completely at the chair.
your feet glued at the floor and breathing got rigif while facing your back at them. their heated gaze pierced and almost burned a hole behind your head. you can feel it.
“strip for us.” he says in a very demanding tone.
slowly, you faced them with a slight fear flickering through your eyes.
“h-huh? but we’re suppose to d-do our project—”
“oh fuck that project, sweetheart! we’re going to do you instead.” jake interrupts smirking after licking his plump lips once. his eyes stares at you like a hungry predator.
“calm down, jake. you’re going to scare her.” jay says, mischief lazing through his voice while smirking sexily beside sunghoon.
they’re both sat at the sofa. the man beside him has his polo unbuttoned all the way, leaning forward as his elbow rests over his knees and eyes burning at you. he’s quiet and red lips hardly pursed. his dark, thick eyebrows narrowed together.
you remained standing awkwardly at the middle of heeseung’s bedroom, the door a few feet away from you. it slid inside your mind. to try and run away from them. but its impossible. with their built, they can easily catch you and who knows what that can do to you? they never go easy whenever they’re pissed off.
besides, sunghoon’s sat on the path towards it. he can easily grab and stop you from escaping. that’s totally crossed out of your plans.
you heaved a sigh, “g-guys,”
“did we ask you to talk?” heeseung.
instantly, your lips are pursed hardly. despite him showing a little soft side of him from a while ago, you’re still terrified whenever he’s very serious.
“we’re waiting, baby.” jay caught your attention.
you stared at them for a while and realized that you have nowhere to go. they got you cornered and stripped off of choices. once again, you’re helpless around these four men.
you balled your fists and jake’s eyes dropped from your pretty face to your hands. they’re trembling and he’s certain its a mixture of fear and worry. his grin grew wider. his nerves are shaking in excitement. he couldn’t wait to have you, to devour you, to ruin you.
“go on, y/n.” heeseung, again with his stern voice.
your eyes darted at sunghoon whose still quiet. his eyes then soften and he sighs, fists relaxing.
“strip for us, doll. its okay, we won’t hurt you.” he says in a calm voice. its still a surprise how he’s acting right now. he’s not the impatient and rough sunghoon. it slightly made you feel at ease.
when your hand slowly raised to untangle your necktie, you heard jake hissed and glared at sunghoon.
“remember what we talked about, hoon!” he said that got you confused.
sunghoon rolls his eyes, “yeah, whatever. i’m just trying to make her feel relax. you’re putting too much pressure on her.”
jake clicked his tongue and glanced back at you. his eyes looked more aggressive, screams more danger.
“why, sweetheart? are we scaring you?” he stepped closer, making you hold your breath.
“am i scaring you?” he repeats his words, his face are inches away from yours that you can feel his hot breath fanning your skin.
“jake,” heeseung calls him.
he ignored him and kept his stares right at your pretty face. despite the lack of answer, the tears on your eyes were enough to tell him that you are indeed scared. it didn’t make him feel pitiful, instead it drives him more crazy.
“strip for me or i’ll rip them off from you myself.” he groans.
you gulped and started to fasten your pace. now unbuttoning your polo— the one heeseung got you.
sunghoon clenched his jaw hardly, fighting so hard to interrupt. his friends talked to him about being the last to touch you tonight as a punishment for him. its actually a shit decision they came up with just because they think he’s starting to be your favorite.
that thought was the only thing that made him agree. he couldn’t help but to feel excited thinking about it.
he stood up that made jay and heeseung glance at his direction.
“don’t get in the way.” jay reminded him.
he threw him a short glance as he fished something from his pocket.
“i’m not going to.” he pulls out a cigarette and a lighter. “i’m going to smoke.” he added then glance at heeseung.
“you won’t mind right?”
heeseung stares for a while before tearing his gaze off of sunghoon. he took that as a yes then lits his cigarette.
“take off everything.” jake commands when you finished getting rid of your polo and school skirt.
“b-but—”
“strip.” he shortly said.
you stared at his eyes and slowly obliged. you don’t even know why you kept complaining when you’ll just end up doing it too.
the moment you finished taking everything off, completely naked in front of them, you feel shy. so shy that you try covering whatever your arms can. the four men stares silently, their eyes grew darker. looked more hungrier.
“lay on the bed for me, sweetheart.” jake mumbles, this time a lot more softer. “i want to eat you.” he added while taking off his necktie.
before jake continues discarding his clothes off, he snakes his hand on your nape to pull you closer to him. he placed a wet, but gentle kiss on your lips then stares right at your eyes.
“you’re so pretty. do you know that?” he says under his breath that made your heart race. he seems pissed, and honestly his attitude today are off for you. he’s very playful in nature, but the way he’s so aggressive is not like him. you know something’s up with jake sim.
“let me fucking eat you.” he added and then continued what he stopped doing to give you a kiss.
your eyes moved towards heeseung and he just gave you a nod. with slow steps you walked towards the bed and sat on the edge.
jake gently pushed your body so you can lay on it then he opened your thighs for him, giving a full display of your slightly wet core. he growls lightly, salivating by the view.
“damn, this pussy.” he mumbles before giving it a long lick making you purse your lips together.
jake almost went crazy having a taste of your cunt. he always loved it. if he can, he will eat you all day. so he didn’t waste a time to dive in and lap your cunt like a hungry animal. you whimper and legs slowly closing out of pleasure from the way he’s eating you.
a hand then reaches over your knee to open them back. when you open your eyes, you saw jay. he’s already standing at the edge of the bed, beside jake. his white t-shirt is off already and he’s left with just his boxers.
“keep them wide open, baby.” he orders while his other hand palms his cock inside his shorts.
you can’t even say a word or resist as your mind gets all fuzzy because of how good jake is making you feel. jake giggles through your cunt making you shut your eyes, brows arching closer to each other.
your face contorts out of pleasure.
jake’s hand rests at your thighs and massages it gently. you can feel a hand carding your hair, brushing it off your pretty face.
your eyes pry open when jake pulls away.
“sorry, angel. we’ll move you a bit so you can suck jay.” heeseung caught your attention. he’s already near the bed too.
when your eyes look at jay, he’s already taking off his boxers as they slightly drag you towards the corner of the bed. jay dives his head and kissed you on your lips while fondling on your exposed tits.
“uhm,” you moaned. he gave it a few more suck then tugs it lightly using his teeth as he pulls away, making you yelp.
“suck my dick, baby. let’s get you busy.” jay mumbles and places his shaft near your face.
jake then continues eating you, making you squirm again. he pushes your thighs wider, doesn’t giving you any chance to close it. he wants to take his time, eating and enjoying how you whimper in pleasure. the way you look pained, but he knew pretty well that he’s making you feel so good.
“how’s the view from there, hoon?” jay shouted, taunting his friend.
your eyes shifted at the sofa while jay enters your mouth. sunghoon’s dark eyes are darted at you while he sexily huffs on his cigarette. its taking everything of him not to get in between. he couldn’t help but feel so aroused by the sight of his own friends using you.
he remained silent and just watch from afar. jay scoffs then narrows his brows when his cock reaches the inside of your mouth. it feels so warm and soft, something that drives him crazy.
“fuck.” he curses and started to thrust on his own liking.
while jake laps your pussy and jay fucks your mouth, heeseung takes off all his clothes. he position himself on your other side then grabs your hand.
“you aren’t forgetting about me now, are you angel?” his taunting voice rings over your head and you mumbled something, causing vibration straight to jay’s throbbing cock.
“oh just like that, baby.” he groans and continues pistoning his hips towards you.
heeseung gave a few strokes to his dick before leaning to give you a kiss on the lips as well. it lasted for a few more seconds until he pulls away so you can give him a hand job.
“oh, yeah. just like that.” heeseung mumbles as he watch you all occupied with them.
he cannot help but to feel very excited at the view. how your eyes are tear stained yet still do as they say. its giving a satisfaction he couldn’t get from anything. he was certain you’re the only one who can give it to him, to them.
jake chuckes and giggles mischievously while tongue buried deep inside your wet hole. his chin wet with your juices and his saliva. it was heaven for him to see you squirm uncontrollably because of pleasure.
“u-ugh!” your mouth hugs jay’s big dick tighter that made him groan in pleasure, your hand too tightens around heeseung’s. it indicates that you are nearing your first release and they all couldn’t wait.
“are you near, baby?” jay asks, whimpering from his own pleasure.
you nodded continuously, slightly losing your mind at the climax you’ve been anticipating.
“i’m near too, baby. let’s cum together.” jay groans and grind even harder, chasing you.
“give it to me, sweetheart.” jake fucks into your cunt using his two fingers, tongue attached on your hole, waiting for that sweet juice he’s been dying for.
heeseung brushes your hairs off from your face, making sure to fist them so it won’t cover your pretty features. he loves staring and watching you whimper in pleasure. beads of sweat forms on your forehead and his eyes travels down your tits boucing slightly due to jake finger fucking you.
he leans and puts your nipple inside his mouth, sucking and twirling his hot tongue on the tip, making you feel dizzy.
“nghhh,” your thighs shakes and tries to move away from jake’s lips but he held you firm, making sure you have nowhere to go. sucking and taking all of your juices.
the sensation making your eyes rolls at the back of your head. jay, too reached his climax and shoot at the depth of your hot mouth, cursing and growling.
“such a good girl.” he says and leans to give you a kiss on your cheeks. “pretty baby.” he added and placed another kiss.
once done harvesting your cum, jake stood up and licks his lips with a grin on his face.
“get on fours. i’ll fuck you doggystyle.” he says and grabs your hand to help you get up from laying down. he knew you’re still in trance from the recent release.
heeseung gently press your palm to catch your attention. he arched his brows while glancing softly at your direction. jay brushes your hair away and wiped off the sweat.
“you good, angel? still with us?” heeseung asks and help you position yourself.
you nod your head once, head still fuzzy. heeseung chuckles, finding you adorable and kisses your shoulder once.
“you’re so hot, sweetheart.” jake and smacks your butt cheeks. you yelp slightly at the impact. it stings a bit but it oddly feels so good.
jake groans and cupped both your butt and leans in to kiss it, biting it.
“calm down, dude.” jay chuckles and swat his arms which he answered with a giggle.
your ears are still ringing from all of that when a hand started to gather your hair. it was sunghoon and he’s looking at you with slight worry in his eyes.
“i’ll just tie your hair, doll.” you nodded and he did his best to put away those lose hairstrands out of your face.
you smiled at him softly and mumbled ‘thank you’, which you doubt he heard. he sighs and leans in to kiss you once on your lips before walking back near jay.
“perfect. suck my dick this time, okay?” heeseung says and positions himself in front of you.
a small nod is what you gave him and he smirks, pinching your cheeks because he find you cute this way. all submissive and sweaty.
“ready? i’m going in.” jake says from behind and heeseung just nods his head.
you moaned the moment you felt jake pushing his dick inside of you, stretching you in the process. his thick veiny cock slowly disappears. just half of it and he’s already going crazy. he missed this feeling. he missed feeling you around him, suffocating and taking all of his length.
“fuck, you’re so tight.” he groans and couldn’t wait anymore as he did a hard thrust, reaching it deep.
your eyes widen at the sudden visitor making your mouth gap as well. heeseung took this chance to enter your mouth and he let out muffled curses because of how hot your lips feels around him. his brows narrowed closer to each other.
“shit.” he curses and take his time rutting his dick over your mouth. he was fighting back not to go too hard as he wants to go slow.
on the other hand, jake’s the opposite. he’s going fast and deep making you see stars. you tried hard to keep on all fours, but you can feel your knees losing its strength, along with your arms.
as jake started to take it faster, making sure he’s hitting every delicious places inside you, heeseung decided to catch pace with him. the room was filled with your moans and the erotic slapping sounds of your bodies colliding each other.
“i’m f-fucking close...” jake hissed and laid his tongue out sexily. heeseung smirks and gets more aggressive on using your mouth to chase his own orgasm.
“me too.” heeseung.
you moaned and tightens your cunt and lips when you felt your own climax approaching. jake’s breath became more heavy at the pleasure your hole is making him feel.
“fuck you feel so good like this, sweetheart.” he groans and slaps your butt then leans down to kiss your back, making sure to suck on the skin to leave a mark. his mark.
“so good for me.” he says, almost out of breath. “so damn good for all of us.”
and a few more deep thrust, jake released his hot cum inside you. heeseung throws his head back, cumming inside your mouth. the three of you are catching your breaths while he both tries to catch your highs. heeseung strokes your cheeks gently.
your knees gaves in and body collided to heeseung’s soft white sheets. jay steps in and made sure you’re all right.
“tired, angel?” heeseung whispered, smiling while looking at your shut eyes and breathing heavily.
jake pulls out, some of his cum dripping out from your hole. he kneels down to see it more clearly and groans at the sight of it. he licks two of his fingers and slides it in your hole, shoving his cum back. it made you jolt and moan, feeling too much.
he chuckles, “you did good for me, sweets.” his eyes a lot more softer than before. he seems to calm down now.
“we’re not done yet.” heeseung mumbles that you responded with a light groan.
he ignored it and laid back at the edge of his bed, feet touching the floor.
“ride me, angel.” he held your arm to guide you over his lap. you needed some help and the other boys were quick to assist you.
“too t-tired..” you manage to say. heeseung placed a chaste kiss at your cheeks.
“its okay, i’ll do the work.” he assures you.
jake smirks meeting eyes with heeseung. he taps jay’s shoulder and tilted his chin towards the two of you.
“let’s do it, jay.” jake says excitedly. “fuck her other hole.” and he trudges towards heeseung’s side drawer.
sunghoon stood up with furrowed brows.
“what the fuck do you mean? we never tried it before.” he steps in. “are you sure she can handle that today?”
jake rolls his eyes and glanced at his friend for a while. he taps his chest and raised the bottle of lube. “yes. i’m sure our girl can handle it.”
“right, sweets?” he asks you.
you are not at the proper state of mind to respond or comprehend what they’re talking about. your mind is too clouded with pleasure and the overstimulation is taking away your capability to understanding anything.
“angel?” heeseung gently calls you.
“hmm?” you hummed.
he chuckles, “jay and i are going to fuck you at the same time. is that okay?”
jokes on them because you can’t even process anything. a nod is all you gave them. sunghoon gulped, a bit nervous but he can’t deny that he’s also looking forward to it. he’s so sure you’ll look so alluring having both your holes filled.
“see? she’s our big girl.” jake smirks and squats down to prep your hole. they don’t really need a lot of the lube as you’re so wet from what jake just did moments ago and because you’re too aroused.
“damn, so tight.” he mumbles after sliding his index finger inside as a test.
jay gulped, totally salivating. he pushes his friend away and positions himself.
“just make sure to take it slow, man.” sunghoon reminded him, now starting to discard his clothes one by one.
“w-what...” you’re slowly going back to your senses, but it was too late.
heeseung slides his cock inside your pussy as jay puts the tip in front of your butt hole. your eyes slightly grow big and worry flashes your pretty face.
“h-huh?” you’re about to look back when jake cups your face. he smiles sweetly and kisses your lips.
“don’t be scared, sweets. we’ll make sure you will feel good, okay?” his gaze too soft and hypnotizing.
its not that you don’t want it. for the past months that you’ve been under these boys, they’ve already corrupted you. behind those innocent looking eyes you flashes them is the dark desire of having them all to yourself.
sunghoon soon came into your view, “it’ll be all right, doll.” he smiles and held your hand.
“here i come, baby.” jay’s low voice ringed from behind you and as he says, he pushes forward.
“ugh,” you groaned, hurting from the fresh stretch.
heeseung starts to slowly fuck from below you, just to ease some of the pain you’re going through.
“i-it hurts...” your eyes starts tearing up.
sunghoon glared at jake. “did you even put enough lube?” he hissed at his friend.
jake caress your cheeks, “i did! its suppose to hurt, sweets. just like the first time when sunghoon took you.” he reminded with a slight bitterness on his tone.
sunghoon ignored his friend comments and focused on comforting you. he leans in and attached his lips on yours, tongue messily dancing with each other.
“fuck, so tight...” jay groaned, eyes shut from the pleasure of being squeezed inside you.
“her cunt is getting more tighter too, jay. keep going.” heeseung’s brows are narrowed from pleasure.
the sting is still there, but it became more tolerable as heeseung dicks you from below and sunghoon making out with you. eventually, they’re sliding in and out smoothly.
“oh m-my gosh..” your eyes rolled at the back of your head from the intense pleasure you are having.
you cannot describe it. the way their big dicks are drilling you are making you crazy, feels like heaven.
“fuck.” jay and heeseung cursed hardly as they fuck you in sync.
jake salivates just by watching you getting used by them. you look beautiful. you look so hot. and you are his. you belong to them.
“i’m getting close, hyung.” jay growls and kept on rutting his cock inside you.
“me too.” heeseung leans and capture your breast to suck it.
“so good for us. such a good girl.” jay mumbles.
sunghoon pulls away to watch. “fuck.”
“you’re so good, sweetheart.” jake whispers beside your face. you smiles and moans, trying to keep your eyes open to look at him.
your free hand reaches over his handsome face and cares it, “k-kiss me, jake.” his eyes darken and without hesitation he gaves in to your request.
a few moments, jay and heeseung came inside your holes together with you. both of your legs shakes and body collapsing on top of heeseung, panting so hard.
heeseung breaths in, taking your sweet scent. he pulls your face closer to make out as he kept sliding his dick inside, fucking his cum back.
your eyes already closed and almost passing out. he kisses your cheeks and smiles.
“just one more, angel. can you do it for us?” he asks gently.
you nodded your head and he smiles, “good girl.”
sunghoon helps you to get off from heeseung so he can replace him. jake made sure you’re stable enough as you straddle his lap. jay squats to clean you as his, heeseung’s and jake’s cum drips all over the place.
“hey,” sunghoon calls softly and cups both of your cheeks. he tries to search for your eyes.
“just one more, doll.”
you nodded your head, “p-please.”
“please what, pretty?”
“please make me feel g-good.” you look drunk on lust because you’re starting to sound demanding.
the boys chuckles, finding you adorable this way. sunghoon smiles, relieved that you seem to be fine. just exhausted.
“definitely, love.” he whispers. “that’s what we’re all here for, doll. to make you feel good.” and he kissed your cheeks.
jake leans in and kisses your shoulderblades. “i’ll fuck you too, sweets. okay?”
you nodded your head and props your head asking for a kiss. he chuckles and gave in, dropping a quick peck on your swollen lips.
“hold on tight on sunghoon, hmm?” heeseung’s back beside you.
you nodded and placed both of your hands on sunghoon’s broad shoulders. jay went inside the bathroom to start running a warm bath for you.
“i’ll enter now.” sunghoon says and slides inside your pussy.
both of you moaned. jake’s eyes darken as he position himself behind you, his aching tip dying to enter your other hole.
“here i come, sweets.” and smoothly slides in as well. the three of you are a moaning mess.
your mind all blank and you’re starting to see stars already. the two of them fucked you rough and fast, not giving any mercy. the way they rutt their dicks are different from how they console you moments ago. they went fast, like they’re chasing something.
“fuck, pussy so good.” sunghoon moans and kisses your shoulders, he opens his mouth then buries his fangs on your skin. oddly, it added to the pleasure.
“oh shit... so good sweetheart.” jake’s brows draws closer to each other as he focuses on the view of his cock sliding inside your butt hole. it was so hot. the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
it went for a few more minutes. your moans and the skin slapping each other echoes through the whole room. it was so good. so damn good that you almost pass out due to too much pleasure and tiredness.
“i’m cumming.” sunghoon was the first one to announce.
“me too, dude!” jake and he reaches over your clit to rub it.
“nnghh,” you moaned, unable to even utter a single word anymore.
“she’s choking me inside. she’s close, jake. fuck faster.” sunghoon hissed and the two of them did it.
a few more seconds and they shoot their hot cums inside. jake’s panting so hard, so is sunghoon. you completely fall over sunghoon’s body, eyes close shut.
“doll?” sunghoon calls out between his heavy breaths.
you didn’t respond so he slightly pulls away to check on you. he saw you’re already pass out so he smiled and kisses your cheeks gently.
“you did good, doll.” he whispers.
jake pulls out and before cleaning himself, he grabbed the towel from jay and cleaned you. he leans over your face to kiss you softly with a warm smile on his face. “you did so well, sweets.”
jay brushes away some hairs that sticked onto your pretty face, “thank you, baby. you did so well.” he whispers.
sunghoon helped putting you over heeseung’s arms and he walks inside the bathroom where the warm bath is waiting for you.
you groaned, “we’ll just clean you before you rest, angel.” he assured and gently placed you at the bathtub.
you can feel your whole body aching, mind still fuzzy after all you did. despite everything, one question plays inside your mind.
‘what are you for them?’
tricky one too. you’re dying to know, but at the same time you’re scared to find out. most of the times they are mean to you, makes you feel like their toy. but after how they acted moments ago, it raised confusion. a slight hope that they indeed care for you as much as you care for them ignites inside you.
you tried shoving that thought off. you’re too tired. maybe you’ll ask them later. for now, you’re going to rest because they surely pushed you to your limit.
heeseung stares at your pretty face then smiles and caress your cheeks, “you did so well for us, angel.” and kisses you once on your lips.
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