#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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1-Year Retrospective
Oh my Cob I did not think I was still gonna be here
So uh, first off, wow, I’ve really spent a year doing this single handedly, huh
Ironically I started this blog on my brother’s birthday last year (and speaking of which: Tokyo I know you literally never use Tumblr for anything ever but happy birthday by the way), and at the time, it had a completely different purpose!
For those unaware, daily-venomous first started out as we-rate-venomous, which is more or less exactly what it sounds like. I basically rated Venomous (Venomouses? Venomi? Still don’t know the plural for Venomous) based on how horny the artists seemed to be, a concept that completely fell apart the moment I discovered it was literally all Ryann Shannon. Still, I kept the blog running for funsies.
Now we’re here, a full year later, and in that time frame this blog has amassed over 500 followers--something I didn’t even notice until just now, to be honest--which is waaaaay more than I ever thought this silly little blog would get! Heck, my main still hasn’t gotten that many, and it’s been around five times as long now! It’s almost embarrassing to think about how many people see my silly little posts, heehee...
Thing is, therein lies a bit of an issue, and one that I knew would come for this blog sooner or later. See, I’ve been hyperfixated on OK K.O. for a literal year now, but, as all hyperfixations eventually do, it has admittedly started to fade. And when you’re a content creator constantly pumping out material for other fans of your hyperfixation, noticing that hyperfixation fading is a pretty scary thing! Because you know how many people follow you for that specific content, and now it feels like you’re turning your back on them, even if you don’t mean or even want to!
It’s something I’ve dealt with quite a few times now, but it’s never had quite this weight for me before. My OK K.O. content has gained more traction than anything I’ve made prior, and truthfully this little side project of mine has been my first real foray into a gimmick-y sort of sideblog. When you’re in the heat of something like that, it feels like you’ll always get as much joy from your interest as you do then, even though you know you won’t. You rarely if ever truly stop enjoying it, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever be that into it again, you know?
What’s worse, online you know there’s going to be people who are going to lose interest in you the second you admit that you’re just not that into this thing or that thing anymore. And when you’ve got a ton of people looking to you for this thing or that thing, the thought of losing the people who’ve been supporting you before is a scary one. I mean it’s a lot of things--sad, bitter, maybe even anger inducing--but it’s scary above all else.
All this to say, I can’t control the way my brain works, and unfortunately, my brain has more or less jumped ship from OK K.O. at this point. It’ll forever retain mementos from the journey, but as of right now, it has no intention of going back, and you know what? That’s okay.
Now don’t think that I’m just gonna pack up and leave daily-venomous to deteriorate. I put too much work into this baby to let that happen so easily! So I figured, why keep manning the ship all on my lonesome? That, friends, is why...
I’m opening up mod applications! :D
Because let’s face it! This thing was never meant to be run by one person to begin with! I don’t know why I did this to myself and then continued to do it for an entire year!
Well, okay, the blog’s not that hard to actually run. But even so it would be easier with some extra hands on board! It’d definitely be a weight off my shoulders, at least...
And don’t think that if/when I get some mods on here that I’ll disappear completely! I just... won’t be here as often, probably. Even if I’m not active, though, I’ll still support this thing with all I’ve got! It’s practically my baby at this point!
Though, on the off chance that I do become completely inactive, I’ll still be hanging around my main @theshmeepking if you ever just wanna drop by and say hi or anything. Besides, that inbox never gets anything, anyway. It’s sad. Pitiful, even. But yeah! I’m there! I do stuff! Post art sometimes! It’s fun!
...
Heh. A year later and I’m only now actively and shamelessly plugging my main. It’s kinda funny, really. I don’t even remember why I decided to try (and fail) to keep it secret all this time...
...
...ahem. If, uh, you don’t mind me getting kinda personal one last time...
I’ll put it under read more since it gets really, really personal and covers some heavy topics regarding mental health, so if you stop here:
tl;dr: my OK K.O. hyperfixation just had to die out as soon as daily-venomous is set to turn a year old, so I’m looking for mods to try and keep this blog alive.
So...
...
I...uh...
...
...I... was in a really bad spot for most if not all of this blog’s lifespan. Maybe I still am. I’m not really sure to be honest. I don’t know what washed over me, but ever since the tail end of the spring semester of my first year of college (which was around April, May-ish last year, by the way), I’ve been more depressed than I’ve ever been. I kept asking myself, what happened? I used to be the smart and perfect kid. I’m... genuinely scared that I peaked in high school. I guess only time can tell me if that’s true or not, though.
Still, those were the worst months of my life.
Don’t worry, it’s not like I ever thought about hurting myself or anything like that, I just... kind of lost all of my drive. My motivation. My passion. And to be completely honest with you?
I think I’m going through an identity crisis.
Which is... not fun. At all. It just makes me depressed and anxious and questioning if I even know who I am. You know, fun college stuff. I should probably buckle down and finally talk to my doctor about getting a therapist, now that I think about it. God knows I need it. It just... doesn’t feel like I carry the weight I really do. It feels so much lighter than it is, but sooner or later it’s bound to break my back, you know?
Truthfully I don’t know if running this blog has made any of that better or worse. I amazingly got my first ever tumblr anon hate only a week or two after creating this blog, which is kind of surprising considering I had been on this site for like, four years before that. Heck, I still get some hate occasionally, though it’s mainly just people who are upset at me for having an opinion (which they often specifically ask for by the way. like why would you even do that.), lmao.
But then, at the same time, trying to make people laugh, and having those people make me laugh in return, well... it was a nice little oasis of joy, at least for a while. You guys have given me so much support and just when I needed it, too. So... thanks. A lot. Words can’t describe how truly grateful I am for the people that laugh at my jokes, and those that try to make me laugh at theirs! You guys sure can be free serotonin when you want to be, haha!
Like I said earlier, whether I keep contributing to this blog or not, the memories I’ve made running it this past year will always stick with me. Sure there are a couple of bad ones in there, but I think the positive ones outweigh those at least tenfold, and I would have those if it weren’t for you guys.
Take care of yourselves.
-Shmeepy
#not a venomous#mod applications#mod talks about depression but is nice enough to put it under the cut
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Depression, Trauma, (and Most Importantly,) My Thoughts on Hello Charlotte EP1 & 2
Eating has been difficult for me for as long as I remember. It started off as an aversion to food, in favour of spending my time more efficiently on what my dumb little mind viewed as more important: Homework, video games.
Over time, it turned into anorexia. I had already gotten used to eating just under 500 calories a day, and my depression took my poor habits and twisted them into a cowardly and slow attempt at suicide.
On my road to recovery, I’ve found that years of poor eating choices have lead to my body struggling to process food. I have to eat at a painstakingly slow pace lest my stomach turns against me, and the smell of food is sometimes enough to diminish my appetite altogether. My bowel movements are, for lack of a better word, a shitshow.
This brings me to today, the 10th of August, 2021. 6 or so years of barely eating enough to survive later, I’m setting the world record for the slowest consumption of a fillet o’ fish in the history of mankind.
In my absolute boredom and unfathomable stomach pain, ManlyBadassHero’s playthrough of some random horror game (I can’t remember the name) appears in my YouTube recommended, and I’m reminded of a horror game I bought on sale on Steam, the last of a trilogy. In all honesty, I only bought the game because it was dirt cheap and one of my sisters’ names is Charlotte. I was too horrified at the time to process the story nor play the previous two games, so I did a quick achievement run and left it at that. I was certainly very confused as I had no idea who any of the characters or what any of the concepts were, but the gore had me too mortified to go and find out myself.
A year later, I’m looking the trilogy up on ManlyBadassHero’s YouTube channel, and decide to start from the beginning of his Hello Charlotte journey, in 2016.
Hello Charlotte EP1
I’m going to be completely honest with you, the first game really didn’t resonate with me too well. It was a cute, quirky, RPG Maker horror game, with two loveable main characters and an interesting world. However, with context from the third game, the events felt too self-isolated and inconsequential. Felix and Charlotte are in a little self-contained TV world created by a fictional race called Pythia - creatures with 3 or 4 eyes that can create miniature dimensions, once brought into a hivemind by an “Oracle,” which seems to be some sort of god. They all seem to be falling apart and have taken a horrific turn as most of the Pythia have been “executed,” and those who haven’t have either gone mad or into hiding in their own bubbles of (albeit temporary) safety.
The ending of the game is somewhat misleading, too. Once Charlotte and Felix escape the TV world by having Charlotte merge with the Oracle itself, the game almost plays off the previous events like they were all a story made up by a young and imaginative Charlotte. Did they happen at all? Is she a reliable narrator or point of view to begin with? (Spoiler alert, she is not.) The explanation for it all seems to be that Charlotte herself is a schizophrenic, though the legitimacy of this is brought into question in the third game, which I will talk about later. Altogether, the game didn’t bring out many strong emotions in me, and I was starting to zone out as I moved on to the second game’s playthrough.
Hello Charlotte EP2
What struck me as odd in the second game is that while the first game seemed to bring Charlotte out of her own strange, black-and-white world and back into reality, we’ve found out that she’s right back where we started last game. A black-and-white world, inhabited by her imaginary friends. Aliens, gods, and the like. However, Charlotte’s seemingly made-up world feels more alive this time. I’m not sure if this is the consequence of the game developer improving their skills or an intentional detail, but even more characters are introduced, and previously shallow tenants of Charlotte’s home are given more depth. The hazmat-suit wearing aliens have faces, personalities and whole backstories attached to them, now. Charlotte has a best friend at school named Anri, who has a obsessive crush on her. She’s friends with a bullying victim named C with horrible germaphobia, who has almost identical struggles to her (more on those struggles later.)
What also surprised me is the continuity between the first and second game. For some reason, I thought that this Charlotte would be starting from scratch, completely oblivious to the fate of the first game’s iteration. However, this concept only seems to be used in the third game, so I guess I was simply mislead. This game, in fact, takes place 3 years after the first, and the Oracle still lives on within Charlotte’s conscious. However, it’s a dying god, on its last leg. It had already been dying during the time of the last few Pythia, but it had used the last of its strength to free Felix and Charlotte from their world. As the Oracle’s health declines, so does Charlotte’s mortal body.
Unlike the first game, most of the themes in this game hit way too close to home. The feeling of second-hand helplessness when someone you barely knew ends their own life. Anri’s obsessive and outright manipulative lesbian crush on Charlotte, bordering on bullying. The schooltime harrassment and trauma Charlotte underwent. The fear and dangers of social interaction. Feeling unlawfully punished by your school teachers for seemingly nothing at all. Depression, self harm, and the primal urge to escape from it. Getting roped into others’ mental health, until both of your issues converge into a disgusting amalgamation of the need but severe lack of therapy and a break from it all. Delusions of what could’ve been and the possible, yet near impossible future ahead. Looking back on everything you’ve ever done and regretting every second of it.
While I ticked off the trauma presented to me on a silver platter in the form of a fucking RPG Maker game like a twisted bucket list, I found myself relating more and more to not only Charlotte, but the students around her. Scarlett, whose life was so perfect that nobody had even thought about her possible mental issues until it was far too late. Anri, who would lay down her life for a girl who simply doesn’t feel the same way. C, who desperately wanted to escape from reality by any means possible.
An interesting fact about Hello Charlotte is that there are numerous omnipotent beings amongst its cast. They aren’t shy about providing very in-depth character analysis to Charlotte, and in turn, to the puppeteer (I suppose now is a good time to inform those who are unfamiliar with the series that the puppeteer refers to a species, character, and the player, all at once. Charlotte has a puppeteer controlling her by the name of Seth. You are/are controlling Seth as the player. Capiche? Capiche.)
What this meant for me watching Manly’s playthrough was the feeling of two gods (in this game, at least) peering right into my soul, analysing characters that reflected my exact experiences and even my personality during my school days. I learned and realised things about myself that I simply hadn’t known before. Just like Charlotte, I’m simply looking for direction in life, and I’m too afraid to act without instructions. I found myself bullied, manipulated and abandoned by someone who simply wanted my affections, and only learned to miss them when they were gone. Like Anri, my desperation for love and approval from an individual in turn lead to anger and resentment for them. Like both Charlotte and C, I eventually turned to hurting myself to make all the pain go away, refusing help from others and developing a shell of false optimism and naivety to forget about the damage I had dealt to my body, personality and relationships.
As much as I hate to admit it on my little obscure Tumblr blog with 0 followers and 0 traction, I still struggle with these things. I have no direction in life, and wander aimlessly, hoping for one of my offshot attempts at content creation to take off. I find myself missing the girl who emotionally abused me to hell and back every day. I resent another girl for never feeling the same way I felt about her. I still don’t take care of myself, and spend every day in a state of denial about my physical decline and sickliness. I’m so incompetent emotionally that I spend days ignoring my own boyfriend, starving him of the proper relationship that he deserves all because of how broken, fragmented and distant my own mind is.
Hello Charlotte EP2 has four endings. All four of them, in my eyes, are bad.
In the first, C and Charlotte overdose together, leaving their mortal realm to become gods. They choose to ignore and forget the pains of their mortal lives, and live the rest of their godly lives in ignorant bliss. Do I want to forget about my depression and trauma? Learn nothing, and forget about everything that made me who I am today? Or worse even, do I dare take the plunge into “godhood,” and leave this mortal plane to end my suffering altogether?
In the second, Charlotte discovers that C isn’t who she thinks he is, and she finds him without a soul. Alive, but empty. Charlotte could not save him. Consumed by grief, she ascends and becomes a god, consuming the entire world around her. After all is said and done, she realizes her mistake. All of her friends are gone, C is still empty and unresponsive, and now she is alone. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve already gone through this ending, many times over. Countless times I’ve let my depression become all-consuming and take over my life. I’ve pushed so many people away and hurt so many more, and for what? I have nothing to gain from every fit of depression, and the consequences make it seem nothing more but a selfish attempt to make myself feel better.
In the third, Charlotte is the only one who dies. In her last moments, the Oracle comforts her, like a mother cradling her child. They embrace, and say goodbye to each other, as Charlotte’s own life was the only thing keeping the dying god alive. At this point, I’ve started to draw parallels between the Oracle and depression. Depression isn’t always a horrible thing that beats you down and keeps you from being truly happy. Sometimes, wallowing in my own sadness and depression would be the only thing that keeps you sane, stable, and calm. The feeling of hopelessness really is bittersweet, and in desperate times, goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of one’s circumstance. Oftentimes, I find that this is the most realistic way I’ll go out. One day, I may just accept depression, and succomb to it. There may not be a struggle at all. Rather, a quiet, submissive hum, which will fade away into silence.
In the fourth and final ending, Charlotte and C die alongside each other. After her death, Charlotte confronts the Oracle, and wishes to save everyone, and for everyone to be unhappy. Of course, this is where the classic saying: “Be careful what you wish for” comes in. Because of her wish, everyone’s soul, what makes them individual and unique, is erased. After all, no one can suffer if they cannot think at all. In some ways, emptiness is pure bliss. This once again goes back to the bittersweetness of depression. The sheer emptiness it may bring on, at times, is bliss. Feeling nothing isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a way to cope with the horrors of the world. To remember nothing at all is such a tempting yet unattainable solution that I can’t say I haven’t longed for in the near or distant past. Charlotte, of course, is distraught that her friends are all gone, their identities and souls lost forever. Following this, she has one request to make of another god, the observer. She wishes to be killed, as all of her actions have lead to nothing but pain for others and herself. The observer, however, refuses this offer. Instead, he comforts her and takes her hand. They go on a journey together. He suggests that one day, she’ll learn to control her power, and she can recreate the world and her friends. As they leave, Charlotte reflects on her hopes and dreams for the journey. She hopes to learn to be kind, and not hurt others. She wants to change her ways, and become an honest, good person. Charlotte, slowly but surely, is on the road to recovery.
Putting the unsettling sequel to this game aside, maybe I could learn a little bit from Charlotte.
#tw suicide#tw depression#tw anorexia#tw self harm#disordered eating tw#hello charlotte#charlotte wiltshire#anri warhol#scarlett eyler#charles eyler#indie horror#review
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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys
i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life
if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit
as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!
Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!
These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.
Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.
He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.
he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on
/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.
i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.
things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.
so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.
one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.
i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.
i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.
its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.
and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them
and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.
when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.
and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.
i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.
#angus.txt#getting deep in here but it felt good to write#i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves
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💛 Jen’s 500 Followers Celebration 💛
When I first started this blog, I had no intention of fic writing or gaining followers. It was just meant to be something to keep up to date with The 100, so this is is a big deal for me ☺️
Since then, I’ve reached over 1k kudos on my fics, been nominated for fanfic awards and challenges and even won a few of them. I’ve met some INCREDIBLE people and talk to certain people almost every day. And I get to be a part of a wonderful fandom that radiates happiness (yesterday being a prime example when the news hit about Bob and Eliza’s marriage - still not over it! 💍)
None of that would be possible without YOU. So, for my celebration, I will be opening prompts for a little while. I get asked all the time to write them and I never have the time (tbh, I still don’t 🙈 but you guys give me your time, so I want to give it back.)
What you have to do:
Reblog this post
Follow this blog
Choose something from below
Put 🌻 in my asks for a compliment/something I love about you/your blog.
Put 💥 in my asks for a prompt. You can be as vague or as specific as you want, just include which ship you would like (must be from the 100).
Put 🚀 in my asks for a mood board (the 100 themed). Again, you can be as vague or as specific as you like.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart 💛 I hope you choose something so I can say thank you. If you’re not interested, I’ll be tagging everything as #jens500 so feel free to block it.
I LOVE YOU.
Tagging people below the cut that give me life, happiness and inspiration on a daily basis. You guys are amazing.
@pawprinterfanfic @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky @verbam @wellsjahasghost @hawthornewhisperer @asroarke @grumpybell @carrieeve @the-most-beautiful-broom @thelittlefanpire @the-griffin-green-blakes @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @bettsfic @clarkgriffon @clarkeindra @canijustbellarke @aesthetics-and-more @octannibal-blake @nvermindiseeyou @talistheintrovert @scottmcgivemeacall @belizaendgame @elizajane @viviansternwood @jasperjoordan @camhumphrey @thehundredtimesobsessed @keiraknighted @clo-heda @andnowyourehome @historyofbellarke @probably-voldemort @bellarkebc @kinetic-elaboration @goddess-clarke @bloodreina @blodkru @blvke-bellamy @catastrophic-chloe @geekyogicheese @useyourtelescope
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Why I’m thankful for Yuri on Ice:
So according to my dash today is the one year anniversary of the first episode of Yuri on Ice airing. Even though I didn’t get into the fandom until right before episode 8 aired, I wanted to say something about it and what the series has meant to me on my own blog.
To join the chorus of people who have already said it, I am so thankful for this series.
And holy shit on a triscuit this got long winded so I’m going to spare your dashes with a cut.
Back in 2009 I had the worst year of my life.
One of my best friends (one of the kind you think will be around forever) threw me under the bus for her own financial gain and then insulted me and blamed me for her actions, I had a health crisis that almost ended my career and ability to take care of myself (I was thankfully able to work and take care of myself again but it did leave me with permanent nerve damage and the chronic pain that comes with such things), plus a seemingly unending string of which-deity-did-I-piss-off problems and hurdles in life happened until it all culminated in my older sister Angeline passing away from cancer in January of 2010. By the time that happened I was in the depths of depression after having absolutely no mental health problems at all before then. Bree refers to this time as my “Dark Days” and I’ve adopted the name, too.
My Dark Days lasted for almost 7 years. I basically lost most of my 20s to it, and in that time I completely stopped drawing for myself. I did professional work and that’s it. When I was younger I would go through a 500 sheet pack of printer paper in 2-3 months just drawing for myself, so to go from that down to absolute zero was huge. Besides that it was all the other typical symptoms of depression: sleeping constantly, losing interest in just about everything, and just existing instead of living. Being completely uninspired as an artist made me feel like my existence was pretty pointless. (I was never suicidal, though. Thankfully.)
I used to have a decently large following online before then, too, first in the Harry Potter fandom and then in Inuyasha, back when LiveJournal and deviantART were the main hubs for fandom activity. I was really active, I had a little group of people who I regularly interacted with on both sites, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. That’s where my life was, basically. I dropped off the face of the digital earth during my Dark Days, though. All of my accounts just about everywhere went completely dead.
I started getting better little by little starting in the spring of 2016, I came off my antidepressants, and my dad helped me remodel the bedroom across the hall from mine from a junk room into my studio. I was doing better, but I still wasn’t drawing for myself and I was rarely online.
After the hell of the 2016 Presidential election I started getting politically active on twitter. One of the side effects of suddenly being on twitter a lot was seeing a couple of the people I knew back in the day from the Inuyasha fandom constantly tweeting about this new anime, and once I found out it was an anime about figure skating (a sport I’ve loved watching on TV since I was a kid) I knew I had to give it a try.
I am so thankful that I did.
Yuri on Ice pulled me the rest of the way out of my Dark Days and got me to a point where I was actually starting to feel like the person I was before 2009; the person I was pretty fond of. It sucked me into a fandom again (and my tumblr which had been dead for about five years), and it was wonderful being in a fandom that wasn’t dead and had actual new content coming out constantly. I made new friends, too, which is something that is very difficult for me. I have a lot of trust issues due to people hurting me in the past, but I’ve met some wonderful people here.
My blog has grown a lot, too. When I came back from the tumblr graveyard my blog had about 120 followers that were mostly dead blogs that were leftover from the Inuyasha fandom, and as of today I have just over 900. I’m hoping to hit 1000 by the end of the year, and that’s amazing to me. I appreciate each and every one of my followers whether you interact with me on a regular basis or not (and those of you who do reblog, tag, and/or comment regularly? I see you, you’re amazing, and thank you so much).
Most importantly, though, YoI made me start drawing for myself again. I was putting out fan content again, I was inspired again. I'm still getting ideas faster than I can finish them (so many unfinished things...).
It feels so good to be inspired again!
I feel like I have purpose now even if it's just fandom stuff. I’m talking, I’m creating, I’m happy. Not long after I came into the fandom there was a gifset that came through my dash that spoke to me because it said “I am going to take control over my life and you are going to watch me live again.” and that was exactly how I felt about my own life at that point. (And perhaps that’s part of why I relate to Yuuri so much as a character.)
It’s been a year and a half now since I stopped taking my antidepressants and while I still have days here and there where I feel a little “meh” about my work and life in general, overall I feel good. I hold YoI and the YoI fandom responsible for not only pulling me the rest of the way out of my Dark Days but keeping me out of them, because I know it’s all too easy to slip back down again. Now I can watch my favorite episodes, read my favorite fics, look at my favorite art by other people, and talk to my friends to help myself cope and keep myself above water, and I’ll be forever grateful to YoI for that.
So thank you Kubo, Yamamoto, and everyone at MAPPA for making Yuri on Ice. It’s been a lifesaver for me and I will always appreciate all the love that went into it and to all of us in the fandom by proxy. You all have no idea how many people you have helped.
#god that was long#sorry#yoi#yuri on ice#personal shit#depression#i am a big fat artist#shut up kris
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Bringing it Home
I’m going to try and capture our experience of bringing a ‘House together’ in such a way that I don’t lose you through sheer boredom or by length of time…..here goes.
As with every experience there should be a beginning, or in our case, a catalyst. Our Blog gives you an insight into Why we stepped out of ‘life as we knew it’ and chose the road less travelled.
With every lesser road, there are far fewer sign posts and far more pot holes which meant we had to negotiate a whole lot more and make so many decisions that were either challenging, sacrificing or damn hard.
The Catalyst: I had been out that Sunday and when I returned home I found Brooke in a distressed state, she had had another very challenging experience brought on by an unhealthy relationship at work, and she was done. That afternoon she wrote her resignation letter and gave her anchor of 22 years, 6 months’ notice. I encouraged her to do this and backed her all the way. That was that, 6 months to plan, to dream to visualise a life without the constraints the past had been imposing upon us . September 2nd was her last day, and mine was to be 1 month later. So, by the 2nd of October we were officially unemployed and it felt amazing…….
We had purchased land in the Far North of NZ several months earlier and although we hadn’t planned on heading north quite so soon, we were incredibly excited to be doing so.
One minor hurdle to get over before our big move was to sell our home in Warkworth. We absolutely loved our home, and over the 5 years we lived there we nurtured our Old girl back to her former glory. We painted her, pulled her apart, refitted bathrooms, put on new decks and verandas and fenced off the surrounding paddocks to allow the few sheep we had to enjoy a wee bit of variety. Auctions are funny things, they require interested parties, reasonable weather and some luck! Fortunately, we had most of that and on the day of the auction. We had a great turn out and reasonable weather. ½ an hour after it all began, it was over and a family from Onehunger were to become the next guardians of our home.
Moving on: On November 3rd, 2016, we hooked our Caravan onto our UTE and travelled North to begin the next chapter in our lives…
500 Olive trees, a beautiful River called the Oruaiti and a view to die for welcomed us to Northlanding. Initially the name Northlanding was just a working title by our Architect Tonia Williams, but we really liked it and after a quick search on the Business directory names we discovered no-one had grabbed this name yet, so we did!
The Plan: Quite simply within the next 12 months we planned to gain and understanding, then harvest our Olives, establish a business…oh and build a house. The good news was, prior to coming up we had had several quality meetings with Tonia, and together we had come up with a design that we loved. Tonias job was to formulate the plans and configure our unique construction concept to them. We were building with SIPS panels http://www.formance.co.nz/ and this house would be the ‘first’ of its kind in the Far North of NZ which meant we had to find a building crew capable of, willing to and able to (with the quantity of houses going up in the area) take on the project. We found one in Doubtless Bay Builders where Melv and Jacqui who co- own the company said yes. Building would commence in March which worked our really well as we wanted to get our fences and our Garage up first.
We had an amazing Summer living in our wee caravan with our dogs and our Olive trees. We got to know the ‘lay of the land’, swam in the river, went paddle boarding down it, welcomed friends, met our neighbours, pruned our trees, cut our 5 hectares of grass and genuinely embraced life. We took a while, but eventually we had let go of our ‘other life’ and had stepped into a new way of living. We realised we needed (an awful lot) less to have (an awful lot) more. Less stuff, less stress, less clutter, less money coming in, less space to live in and I guess most importantly less people. When I say less people, I mean, we now get to choose who we want in our lives and we have some incredibly special people in it, we cherish these friendships so much. We had more time to relax, more time for people that really mattered to us, more energy for each other and our precious dogs, more focus on building a new and exciting business and more passion to throw ourselves into our ‘new life’ in the North.
The Build: Our life slowly began to revolve almost 100% around the house and remember that ‘road less travelled’ part I talked about earlier, well, we were well and truly on and in it now. A beautiful quote about tough times has stayed with me throughout the House building experience, it’s by Robert H. Schuller and its says “Tough times never last, but tough people do.
We had an incredibly tough time, so tough in-fact that it almost broke us, not broke us up, but to experience so much stress, exhaustion, vulnerability and uncertainty and even anger, almost every day towards the end of our build literary made us unwell. We were eating badly, we were not sleeping, we were losing weight, money was running out along with a lot of our tears, relationships with contractors and suppliers were strained and it was very very difficult to make rational decisions. There were days when one of us just could not go on, couldn’t cope with the pressures and it was up to the other one, who was a little stronger that particular day to push through on what had to be done. There is absolutely no question that together we were stronger, and together we got through it. When it came down to it, all that truly mattered was protecting each other and being a strength for each other.
It’s all over: The builders finished what they had to do on the Friday. They left that afternoon and for the first time in months, it was just us: Me, Brooke and the dogs in our home. Things were not complete, there was no fire installed, storm water pipes still had to go in, Gib had to go up in kitchen, windows had to be finished, more painting had to be done, electrics had to be finished and it pretty much rained every day, which meant mud everywhere…but it was ours.
The beginning: We have been in our house for 6 weeks now and all (apart from the painting) is complete. We even managed to have a holiday in the UK to celebrate my wonderful Mums 80th birthday. Time away from the place was going to determine how we might feel about everything.
I truly believe we were operating/existing/coping at a level beyond measure, we were so tired we couldn’t sleep and so stressed we weren’t aware of what was normal anymore. When we arrived in the UK, it was 6.30am UK time and when we came through arrivals we were met by my wonderful Mum and amazing wee sister who had got up at 4.30am to go all the way (by bus) to the Airport to meet us. My eyes fill with ‘happy’ tears as I write this, as it was such a tonic, a generous gesture of their love and support for us. We were beginning to heal already.
The next few weeks was all about family, re-connection and re-energising. We felt the love and support in abundance through laughter, through celebrations and togetherness. Absence did make the heart grow fonder, there was one particular day when Brooke and I were out walking through Scotland’s stunning countryside and she said “you know what? I’m feeling really positive about the future and about going home”. I too felt it, the past was where it belonged, we had stepped into a new era…a new beginning.
We have started our new Business, well three actually. Our Olive Oil is going well, we also started ‘Northlanding Home and Garden Services’ where we service holiday homes and gardens in and around the area, it’s going really well and it’s all on our terms, which clients we say yes to and which ones we say no to and its empowering and inspiring at the same time.
Our other business is our holiday accommodation cabin. We have named it the ‘River Bothy’. Since we named our House ‘The River House’, we decided the cabin can be a smaller version of the house. It’s based on the old settler’s style cabin where the shower and toilet are in a little separate unit and the cabin itself is where the comfortable and cosy bed and seating area is. It is nestled within the Olive groves with views to the River and countryside. Its peaceful, private and most all, we want people to come stay somewhere they too can experience and appreciate the precious things in life like each other, like nature and to be reminded that although ‘the road less travelled’ may have been bumpy, confusing and challenging, it was also worth it in the end.
We have so much more knowledge, strength and self-awareness now, that if the opportunity presented itself to us in the shape of another road with no sign posts and lots of pot holes with the possibility of growth, empowerment and inspiration as the end result, would we take it or would we follow the path others have taken before us………….
I hope you stayed with me to the end and I hope you have gained an insight into how we lived through a really difficult time and how we pushed through and then let go……. it’s everywhere, in abundance.
Be your own Destiny maker, be your own Path maker.
Some photos that hopefully summaries the past 11 months for you....
Northlanding logo. Designed by Danny Neil design. A friend, a colleague, an inspiration
Caravan arriving at site
Settled in for the Summer
Caravan living.
Summer Selfie
Me and my special boy.
Very, very special friends…..how we cherish these relationships.
Paddling on the Oruaiti River
Sun rising over the Oruaiti River
The River House site meeting
Northlanding HQ. Planning board
Site ready for Garage
And 3 weeks later, she’s up
House site cleared and ready to begin the Build
Foundations in and scaffolding ready and waiting for the arrival of the Trusses
Trusses going into place. The team made these off site and we spend a few days treating them with Danish Oil to protect them against the elements when they were outside.
The giant SIPS panels were all painted with 3 coats prior to being hoisted into place.
Pretty cool Ariel shots of the work underway. Taken by Kieren Malone using his Drone
Back on the ground and the SIPS walls are flying up.
A few days later and the roof is going on, check out the amazing sky
Solar panels are so cool…..sunbathing all day long…bring it on
When you need a little joy in your life, just look up. Picture perfect.
The River House has arrived….
Looking out across the River from upstairs
A view from the Living area
Downstairs bedroom and little courtyard. Be handy in the summer for shade
Olives and Oil
Learning (as we go) the Art of pruning Olive trees
Lots and lots of clippings
Which we dragged with the quad bike and some tarpaulin to an area on the lower side and made pathways through to the River...
Ripe Olives, ready to be Shaken Down
A ¼ tonne of Olives. One of many Shaken down that day
Labels designed by Danny Neil. What a guy!
The end results. Our very own Olive Oil with their swanky labels
Look who turned 80 years young. Our wonderful Mum. An inspiration to us all…..
Thanks to you dear reader, thanks for taking the time to read my wee Blogaroo.
Any feedback is welcomed.....
zdsz�
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Dropbox Leaves AWS, Should UPS and Fedex Be Afraid?
Posted onWednesday, March 16, 2016Monday, March 27, 2017 Author by Ben Thompson
Good morning,
Today’s Update is related to yesterday’s Weekly Article on The Amazon Tax, so make sure you read that first if you haven’t.
On to the update:
Dropbox Leaves AWS
Most Stratechery Weekly Articles take shape over several days, if not several weeks (or months: Daily Update subscribers know I made both the Amazon-Costco and Logistics-by-Amazon points last year). Because of this, though, occasional monkey wrenches come flying in at the last minute — like Dropbox moving away from AWS. From the Dropbox blog:
Dropbox stores two kinds of data: file content and metadata about files and users. We’ve always had a hybrid cloud architecture, hosting metadata and our web servers in data centers we manage, and storing file content on Amazon. We were an early adopter of Amazon S3, which provided us with the ability to scale our operations rapidly and reliably. Amazon Web Services has, and continues to be, an invaluable partner—we couldn’t have grown as fast as we did without a service like AWS.
As the needs of our users and customers kept growing, we decided to invest seriously in building our own in-house storage system. There were a couple reasons behind this decision. First, one of our key product differentiators is performance. Bringing storage in-house allows us to customize the entire stack end-to-end and improve performance for our particular use case. Second, as one of the world’s leading providers of cloud services, our use case for block storage is unique. We can leverage our scale and particular use case to customize both the hardware and software, resulting in better unit economics.
So…maybe AWS isn’t so great after all? Should I have changed my article? Well, obviously I didn’t; indeed, I’d argue the Dropbox news reinforces my point.
First, given that Dropbox is premised on storage, hosting on a 3rd-party provider, no matter what discounts the company might obtain from Amazon, is going to be expensive: a low price times a lot of volume is still a lot of money! To that end, keeping whatever margin Amazon was earning will help the bottom line. Relatedly, Dropbox likely has enough scale that they can drive their component prices not to Amazon levels but close enough.
Second, and again related to scale, Dropbox’s static storage needs are almost certainly exponentially larger than the company’s dynamic storage needs. One of the big advantages of using AWS is that a company can not only quickly bring resources online but just as quickly take them offline; that’s almost certainly much less of a need for Dropbox relative to the company’s early days.
Third, as the blog post notes, by virtue of building their own backend Dropbox can build exactly what they need, increasing product performance. This isn’t a surprise: integrated products generally work better (the question is usually whether or not modular products are good enough to leverage their price and scalability advantage).
Most of these factors are unique to Dropbox: they are an exception that proves the rule (the rule being that AWS is better for most companies). Few companies have Dropbox’s storage needs, most companies derive significant value from AWS’ flexibility, and most company’s aren’t differentiated by their cloud infrastructure.
Actually, I’m not entirely sure that Dropbox is, either: the problem for Dropbox has never been the quality of their technology. Dropbox sync remains noticeably superior than any of its competitors, and while as a Dropbox user I won’t complain if it gets even better, if a superior product for Ben Thompson is all that mattered the company wouldn’t be facing the skepticism it now is (including from me).
Nothing about this news changes Dropbox’s core problem: the company delivers a superior user experience, but a superior user experience matters most in consumer markets; consumers, though, aren’t willing to pay for a commodity like storage (at scale). To be sure, when it comes to businesses the user experience matters more and more with the advent of the cloud, but business brings its own contraints, including lots of arcane requirements that pertain to permissions, data retention, etc, and here Dropbox’s product has fallen short for years (I laid this out two years ago here).
That’s why I actually find this announcement really disappointing. Apparently Dropbox has been devoting significant resources for at least two years to a project that will no doubt have a positive impact on the bottom line but a minimal impact on the top line. It’s all well-and-good (and honestly impressive) to announce 500 million registered users, but the reluctance to disclose both active users and especially the number (and size) of its business customers speaks even more loudly. How might have the product and company evolved if the company had continued to rely on AWS and devoted its resources to fixing its product-market fit problem?
This gets to the other reason this news actually reinforces my point about the value of AWS: the variable versus fixed cost and flexibility benefits are obvious; what is perhaps most under-appreciated about the public cloud, though, is the degree to which it allows companies to focus on what really makes or breaks their business. I’m disappointed Dropbox didn’t value that nearly as much as I think they should have.
It’s not all bad news: lower costs mean a lower burn rate, which it seems Dropbox will need. It’s hard, though, to escape the conclusion that the company can’t break out of its tendency to view every problem as a nail in need of its engineering hammer. The blog post even bragged about this:
Dropbox was founded by engineers, and the ethos of technical innovation is fundamental to our culture. For our users, this means that we’ve created a product that just works. But there’s a lot that happens behind the scenes to create that simple user experience.
I honestly dislike being so harsh, because this paragraph captures what is so great about Dropbox: it is a fantastic product that “just works” and occasionally even delights, no small feat for a utility. This paragraph, though, also captures why I am so discouraged: the culture needs to value marketing — as in knowing which customers are willing-to-pay, and what they want — just as highly as it does the tech. Said culture would not have made the decision to build this product in 2013 when product-market fit was still an open question.
(Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a big company that needed an infusion of folks who focus on the user experience and have excellent cloud development chops…)
Should UPS and Fedex Be Afraid?
In yesterday’s post I laid out why it seemed likely Amazon was going to attempt to do to the logistics industry what it is doing to the cloud computing and retail industries: meet its own needs with a services-based offering that can eventually be extended to 3rd-parties, gaining scale that cements Amazon’s competitive position. I forgot, though, to link this Bloomberg article that reports the details:
A 2013 report to Amazon’s senior management team proposed an aggressive global expansion of the company’s Fulfillment By Amazon service, which provides storage, packing and shipping for independent merchants selling products on the company’s website…Amazon’s plan would culminate with the launch of a new venture called “Global Supply Chain by Amazon,” as soon as this year, the documents said. The new business will locate Amazon at the center of a logistics industry that involves not just shippers like FedEx and UPS but also legions of middlemen who handle cargo and paperwork associated with transnational trade. Amazon wants to bypass these brokers, amassing inventory from thousands of merchants around the world and then buying space on trucks, planes and ships at reduced rates. Merchants will be able to book cargo space online or via mobile devices, creating what Amazon described as a “one click-ship for seamless international trade and shipping.” ‘Ease and Transparency’…
Amazon will partner with third-party carriers to build the global enterprise and then gradually squeeze them out once the business reaches sufficient volume and Amazon learns enough to run it on its own, the documents said. If the logistics business takes hold, financial services could follow, with Amazon giving loans to merchants, processing international payments and consulting its network of sellers on customs and tax matters.
Admittedly, this seems like a taller order; both Amazon’s e-commerce and cloud computing businesses had the advantage of being greenfield opportunities: Amazon was making new markets instead of overtaking entrenched incumbents like UPS or Fedex that already operate at scale.
On the other hand, Amazon has reasons, opportunities, and resources to do exactly what they propose:
The current package delivery system in the U.S. was not designed for e-commerce. UPS and Fedex were traditionally more focused on businesses, with the former focusing on packages and the latter on speed. UPS’s more integrated system and package capability meant they have been able to retrofit to supporting e-commerce the best, but just as a company like Dropbox can benefit from custom-building infrastructure for their needs, it’s reasonable to think that Amazon could do the same if they were building a global e-commerce delivery service from scratch
The theory that the logistics companies are better able to meet Amazon’s needs because they can leverage scale falls apart when it is Amazon that is providing most of that scale. I’ve linked to this Wall Street Journal article before that says as much as a third of UPS residential deliveries are for Amazon; given that Amazon is taking over 50% of e-commerce growth that percentage is likely higher now, but the problem from UPS’ perspective is that those packages are very low margin. Actually, that’s a problem from Amazon’s perspective too: UPS doesn’t have the incentive to care as much as Amazon does
As I noted above, cost savings are not always enough of a reason to integrate; Amazon, though, has both the organizational structure to build out this business without losing focus elsewhere and the proven capability of realizing top-line opportunities by extending a service like this to 3rd-parties
Frankly, if I could sum this up, it’s that Amazon has earned the benefit of the doubt here, and I am loathe to bet against them. And, frankly, were I UPS in particular I would be worried: it seems likely that Amazon will build out this network from the inside out, by first connecting its fulfillment centers with each other and with suppliers, leaving the more logistically challenging and expensive last mile delivery to whomever wants to fight for it. That doesn’t sound great for UPS’ already low e-commerce margins.
One more thing: a persistent myth about AWS was that Amazon was selling excess server capacity that resulted from the need to ramp up for the holidays; this never made sense, because what would happen when the holidays came around in the future? Would Amazon kick everyone off? Interestingly, it seems like a similar myth is developing around this logistics effort. Namely, most reports suggest Amazon wants to bring on extra capacity to avoid the 2013 Christmas disaster when many packages were not delivered in time.
This, though, also makes no sense: are Amazon’s planes going to twiddle their thumbs the rest of the year? I’d think about their efforts from the opposite perspective: the company is building a baseline logistics capacity and will use UPS et al to handle peak demand. Until, of course, the company gets such scale that their static volume drowns out dynamic peaks and valleys, and then the existing logistics providers will really be in trouble.
The Daily Update is intended for a single recipient, but occasional forwarding is totally fine! If you would like to order multiple subscriptions for your team with a group discount (minimum 5), please contact me directly.
Thanks for being a supporter, and have a great day!
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What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?
Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story. These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead. As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed. Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?
Rosie M | Aspiring Nail Tech
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey, is that practice and patience are key to keep moving forward.
@rosienailedit
Brianne Leeson | Artist and Business Owner
I’ve learned how important it is to be willing to work with other small businesses. Even if it isn’t someone with the same kind of business, you could have a lot of great things to offer each other. The one thing you’ll always have in common with another business owner, no matter how disparate your businesses may seem, is that you both care enough about something make that your life’s work.
bellonaarts.com @bellonaarts @bellonaarts
Kopis Music | Dallas DJ
@_maribelmorales_
Everyday I need to make sure to ask myself the question:
Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? & What habits have I created without noticing that I need to burn off?
Moving from California to Texas in June of 2018 has helped me focus and of what I love; finding the perfect songs for the perfect moment and putting a love of music in people’s hearts.
soundcloud.com/kopis-music @kopismusic
Tamisa Hunter | CEO | Life Speaker | Servant- Leader
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey is you must “OWN YOUR TRUTH” and know “Your WORTH” A lot of times people will allow the world and other people to define them; however, you are unique and with that, you must “Be You’ No one can do you better than you. Stop hating yourself for everything you’re not and start loving yourself for everything you are.
Be you. Be Audacious Be Fearless
@tamisahunter womenoftruthinc.org [email protected]
Alexis Woods | Pre-Medicine Student & Blogger
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is to never give up. Even after failed classes and life challenging experiences; if you have a dream never give up on it. Every obstacle that comes into my life is now taken as an opportunity to build a better and stronger version of myself. Without the obstacles placed in my life, I wouldn’t organically cherish where God is taking me. Like my mother used to say “Anything easy isn’t worth having”. My journey is unique and in the future, I hope to give many others the courage to keep pushing through the challenges they face to get to where they want to be in life.
thedealwithlex.com @thedealwithlex @thedealwithlex
Faith Peralta | Technical Writer & Photographer
The most important lesson I’ve learned on my journey so far is acceptance. I’ve spent a lot of time running from things that have happened in my life that I couldn’t control. As well as running toward things or people not meant for me. I’ve also spent a great deal of time beating myself up for the feelings of failure that trail this kind of stuff. So, at 41 – almost 42 – I’ve begun to just accept everything: wins, failures, talents, flaws, stresses, joys, love, loss. No matter what life brings, I’m still me. So I started a part-time photography business recently because it’s something I love! And when I start to worry I just remind myself that I got born here, that God loves me right now, and that I have things to do! There is so much richness and fun in life, despite all of the hard things that can’t be changed.
margotphotography.com
Mi Nguyen & Ales Vlasak | Global Nomads | Home Renovation & DIY Enthusiasts
We are global nomads who have lived in a few places on planet Earth including Vietnam, Czech Republic, New Zealand, China, and a few cities in the U.S. We have chosen Dallas as our permanent home and we have been loving our journey here. We love all things home and garden and have renovated two old homes so far. Like many other millennial’s, we enjoy finding ways to bring new looks to old homes on a very tight budget. This often means learning a lot of DIY methods ourselves, applying and taking risks, making mistakes, and improving along the way.
@thekiwihome thekiwihome.com
Heath Farr | Rock Musician & Music Teacher
@emmanuelkharisma
The most important lesson I have learned in my journey is to collaborate far and wide. In everything you do, include as many people as possible. That does not mean you have to spend hundreds of dollars immediately. Find small ways to make other people a part of your work. There are seventeen music videos for the Edgeface album, Guardian. It was a fascinating journey full of different people, locations, and experiences. The visual album took more than two years to record and eleven months to shoot. The life experience gained from a year-long visual album has been extraordinary. My advice to any artist is to make other people a part of your work. Remember that your creativity is outstanding and unique. Run with it for the rest of your life!
youtube.com/channel/UCnzqE4YT3U_veRrGTDpORbA @Edgeface @edgefacemusic Apple Music- Edgeface Spotify- Edgeface
Sayo Sokari | REALTOR | songwriter | blogger | Event Architect and a multifaceted creative with a gift for connecting people with opportunities
The most important lesson I’ve learned so far on my journey is no matter what industry or aspect of life, the recipe to success includes a few very important ingredients.
One ingredient serves a similar purpose to what yeast does for bread, it causes everything to rise. That ingredient is consistency. Whether in music, finding the next deal to work, or more, consistent activities produce results and improvement.
Mix consistency with time management, accountability, and a divinely grounded purpose and this the recipe for some tasty success soup, rice, or pasta whichever tastes better to you!
youtube.com/channel/UCYwJL2IvF_1r3oHfyEvCiEA @sayotherealtor @sayo.sokari youtu.be/SxXSdzWoTag
Mike López | Sr Art Director | Creative and Illustrator
The most important lesson I’ve learned so far is: “be patient”.
mikeink.net @mike.ink @mike.ink74 @mikeink.creative
Ninnapha Khamphoumy | Fitness Professional & Powerlifter
@infraredvisual
Find work that lights your heart. If you’re going to spend 40+ hours a week of your life working it might as well be something you’re passionate about and puts a smile on your face. I refuse to look back at my life and complain I worked too much or hated my job. Stop following the money, status, or other people’s opinions of what your life should look like. In the end, you have to live with every decision you make. So dream big, always believe in yourself and no matter how many times you get kicked down get back up and try again.
@notesfromninna @notesfromninna
Carol Lander | Home Decor and DIY blogger | Cooking instructor | Maker with A Makers’ Studio paint and DIY products
Most important thing I’ve learned in my blogging journey: don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need information and support and don’t hesitate to offer help to others.
blueskyathome.com Pinterest.com/blueskyathome @createatblueskyathome @blueskyathome bit.ly/blueskyathome
Dr. Guy Earle | Psychologist and Life Coach
I now live in Dallas Texas, I was raised in the DC and the Maryland area. When I was barely 20 I journeyed to Dallas with $400 dollars in my pocket, not knowing where I would live nor how I would pay for school. I jumped out into the unknown full of fears and uncertainties. However, what I can say is that I too this day do not know how I made it through school debt free, making $400 a month with a $267 car note, $50 apartment rent (yes, it was not in the best part of town) a student loan of approx. $200 that offset my scholarship. and not to mention the cost of gas and food. My expenses was over $500 dollars a month and I made $400 dollars a month. But, I learned that when you learn to trust and follow your heart that there is a greater force at work. Life will guide and direct you if we learn to trust its promptings.
Trusting the promptings of the heart is like jumping of the cliff for the first time. It is a matter of faith. Neville Goddard said it this way, “”You must assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled until your assumption has all the sensory vividness of reality. You must imagine that you are already experiencing what you desire. That is, you must assume the feelings of the fulfillment until you are possessed by it and this feeling crowds all other ideas out or your consciousness.””
When I trusted the voice inside of me, it pushed me against my greatest fear. Like, I was pushed into a challenging situation as a kid in a new neighborhood. I was not accepted and a product of major bullying. Don’t feel bad for me, it was the best thing that could of happen for me. My Father gave me a gift, he gave me the ability to look at my fears and to deal with my baggage of insecurity. He did not come to my rescue, in fact he pushed me into the battles by telling me that you must stand up. When I faced my greatest fear at that time it was truly a giant. But I must say the day I saw my Giant slayed by my courageous heart, as I defeated the kid who had beat up nearly everyday. Side note, I never had to fight again in that neighborhood.
On my journey the greatest gift that I have learned so far is FAITH. Napoleon Hill says, that “”faith is a state of mind which may be induced, or created, by affirmation or repeated instructions to the subconscious mind, through the principle of auto-suggestion.
It was said about Emile Coue’ the French psychologist that he was able to see people healed as they repeatedly spoke these words…””Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better.””
So, what am I saying, set your intentions on what it is that you want and then let go and trust that Life is able to serve you. But greater than that, life is wanting to serve you. Have Faith…jump and spread your wings and soar like an Eagle.
@dr.guyearle @Drguyearle drguyearle.com
Malkeet Saini | Whirly Cones business owner
In our journey so far we learned the best way to make a business successful is always working our hardest and making sure we always try to exceed our goals every day. The most important lesson is to always persevere! No matter how many issues might have come up in our journey we kept going and working as a team to always go past our limits.
Whirlycones.com @whirlycones @WhirlyCones @whirlycones
Kimberly Davis | Owner of Billionaire Beauties | mother and nursing student
Latisha Davis
Let you passion drive your success wild. Stay genuine, keep it real, and never give up on your dreams. You never know who’s watching.
@kim_billionairebeauties18 @billionairebeauties18 [email protected] Business # (214)735-6354
Jantae Jackson | Marketing Specialist
What I have learned is that there is no room for fear in business. You have to overcome it to succeed 💛.
@MorphMarketing [email protected]
Kennedy Dendy | Broadcast Journalism Student/CBS News Intern
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey stems from a piece of advice that my mother gave me many years ago. “If you want something, go get it.” I have truly learned the importance of chasing after my dreams and passions, despite what the world may throw. I learned to have a “go-getter” mindset when it comes to what I want for my life. It is important to understand that nothing is going to be simply handed to you. Getting to the place you wish to be requires a great deal of dedication, diligence and discipline. Twists and turns may come your way, but you must fix your eyes on the end goal.
@kennedy_dendy KennedyDendy.com
DJ SEAN ANTHONY | DJ | ENTERTAINER
It would have to be to trust myself and my creative sound. Someone is always going to critique your work or offer feedback that you could’ve done without. In my beginning stages that would eat me up. I would work so hard on trying to accommodate that one person that said enough to cause this displacement in my style. That I would literally drive myself crazy until I got it right. But now I’m so much better than that. I’ve managed to accept that my style of DJ’ing is different and that’s what makes me stand out.
@djsean.anthony
B. Whitcomb | Travel Advisor for Travel with B (Travel Services)
I’m new to Dallas, I recently relocated from Omaha, Nebraska. I have a passion for traveling, so I figured why not do what you love?! It’s my goal to make travel affordable for everyone regardless who they are or what they do. I graduated from the University of Nebraska at Omaha as a dual major in Psychology and Communication. There I focused on mental health and leadership. Self-care is so important on the journey! The road to success is hard but its supposed to be…or everyone would be traveling in the same lane. The most important thing I’ve learned is to trust the process. You must learn from your mistakes, do everything with a purpose and prioritize God in your life. There is no wrong route to one’s destiny, but various roads one could take on their journey. Just remember why you started and never give up!
@travelwithb2day
Cesar Huesca | session guitarist | solo artist from Mexico
@alvarrockgarcia_fotografia
Well, my main lesson on my musical journey conveys to a life lesson which is not judging anyone’s path since we all have different processes throughout existence. We should understand that we live in the same place and we need to take care of our minds, bodies, spirits and emotions, and art is a great way to develop such things to higher levels. Music can be healing in many ways and we must be able to look through the eyes of spirit, calmly and no hurried, one step at a time, with love to everyone and everything.
youtube.com/user/CesarHuescaMusic @huescaguitar
Gabi Kelley | Mom | Writer & Personal Development Coach
God is always good, and we are all created for a purpose!
@gabiruth
Max | a seasoned professional Urban Glamour | Fitness | Cosplay and Event Photographer in the DFW area
Portrait photography must be greater than the sum of its parts. Careful planning, preparation and the ability to adapt to ever changing conditions in near real-time are critical to a successful photo shoot on location. Guiding and communicating with your client is essential. Event photography, on the other hand, is about timing and story telling. Find a story to tell and wait for the perfect millisecond to capture it.
@themeshootspage
Sammi Luna| Health & Wellness Coach
The most important lesson I have learned in my journey so far is that it’s not just about working out your body, it’s 100% completely also about working out your mind. Personal development and mind growth have been a side effect I didn’t know I would have but definitely something I needed! When you start your journey to weight loss and getting healthy, you’re not thinking about anything else but losing the weight. Losing the pounds and the inches and gaining the muscles. You don’t think about the mental toll it will take on you. All your interested in is losing, but my oh my did I gain so much more! Mental health, personal health, and mind growth are just as important as losing the weight. And that has been the best and most important lesson I have learned so far. Every morning I start it off with personal development, set the tone for the day! It really is the only way to start every single day, to live it to the fullest!
@sammi_getsfit Sammiluna.goherbalife.com
Nathan Clark | Founder: Health & Wellness CBD (H&W CBD)
The most important lesson I have learned in my journey so far is to never doubt yourself. Starting something you truly believe in can be difficult and when you feel like quitting you just have to think about why you started in the first place. I started H&W to help people through similar struggles that I have experienced myself, because I know first hand what it feels like to be in pain.
Creating H&W has been a dream of mine after I experienced how much CBD helped me recover and regulates my pain after a motorcycle wreck back in 2012. It is now my job to reach out to people in need and provide them the purest pharmaceutical grade CBD products on the market. For more information about myself and my company you can visit the about us tab on the website.
hw-cbd.com @hwcbd @hwcbdoil
Aviisway | Creative Director & Filmmaker
The most important thing that I have learned along my journey is that we are all destined to fulfill our desires and everybody should be equally loved and supported. I feel connected to the thrill of life, and being able to capture those moments on a device and share it with the world allows me to tell a story that can’t be explained in words.
@aviisway_ youtube.com/channel/UCy_5KwDj_AX0hTUDrYLyNTg
Brigitte Buckholtz VerHagen | founder of EastsideGems
What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in your journey so far? To celebrate the small achievements, while setting goals for the future. As a momtrepreneur, I have to balance my family and business life and during time of growth that can be difficult. I started with only $200 and continued to reinvest the money into the company so I could obviously grow and offer my followers nicer pieces and sometimes more rare mid century modern designed furniture. And it really took off! We’re primarily an Insta shop, people can come view any item by appointment but we don’t have a retail space or showroom just yet. With the growth we’ve had that can be frustrating! But when I look back to 6 months ago when the company began and see how far we’ve come, I just want to jump with joy! We’ve surpassed all our goals already and those small achievements are BIG! We have future goals and plans in the works but the biggest lesson was to just celebrate how far we’ve come! It’s been a fun ride.
@EastsideGems
Samantha Johnson | Feel Good Artist & Mom
In this journey of, my so far, young life, I have become a mother, but I was an artist first, it was my first baby. In this industry your style is not necessarily everyone else’s style; your feelings, your inspirations. I could spend two minutes on a piece of art and someone think it’s amazing, whereas I may see disappointment. Or I could spend a week on a project and see greatness, where somebody else might see and feel nothing. It’s all about your own journey, your own love, your own aspirations/inspirations, we’re not here to please everyone. And though that will always be understood, making it a reality is different. We like to please others, we want them to see what we see, and that’s life in most aspects. There’s beauty and pride to be had, when you grow and become less worried about everyone else; what they think/have and what you don’t. Instead you invest more in yourself and your craft, no matter what that may be. How I see it…there’s art to be seen in almost everything, and that is what I live by. Art is love, its happiness, hope, and it doesn’t always have to be something you can physically touch. It’s a feeling. And for me, if I can give someone a feeling, something unexplainable, yet so pleasant through my work or personality, I’ve accomplished way more than just a small piece of green paper.
artssoulpurpose.com @ArtsSoulPurpose @isthatsammiej
Bo Priest | Key Accounts Manager at Purus Labs
If you want your business to grow, you can’t be too good to do the little things.
@puruslabs @puruslabs Youtube.com/puruslabsvids
Zach Harris | Producer at RocketBrand
@gorocketbrand
The most important lesson I have learned in my journey so far is that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong; it’s all about how you respond that defines the difference between success and failure.
@harriszach
The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.
source http://voyagedallas.com/2019/08/07/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/
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Road Trip to Ladakh
“The world is a book… and those who do not travel, read only a page’’
– St. Augustine
All regular travellers, will agree to this wonderful statement, which was penned over 1500 years ago. I’m glad that we brothers, decided to finally execute our long-standing wish of travelling to Ladakh by road, all the way from Mumbai. (Thane, to be precise).
An unforgettable journey of 6050 kms, spanning 7 states and 1 Union Territory, over 18 adrenaline pumping, thrilling, heady days.
How to Reach
There are various options to reach Ladakh. The fastest one is to fly in to Leh, the capital of Ladakh. Not recommended for 2 reasons- (a) Chances of Altitude Sickness as you suddenly land at 11,500 feet above sea level, and (b) You miss out on some ‘out-of-this-world’ locations, which will only be seen on a road trip.
To arrive by road, there are 2 routes- one via Manali (Manali-Jispa-Sarchu-Leh), and the other via Srinagar (Srinangar-Kargil-Mulbek-Leh).
The Srinagar option is the best, as you gain altitude gradually, and also get to visit Kargil and the alienistic landscape of Lamayuru (Moonland), en route.
Unfortunately for us, that road was closed, and so we planned our journey via Manali. As they say, beggars cannot be choosers.
Best Time
This is such a relative term…depends on what is your target. For a regular family guy, June-August works best. The climate is pleasant, most of the roads are opened up by the BRO (Border Roads Organisation), and the vibrant Hemis festival can be enjoyed during this time.
If you’re an adventure junkie who prefers solitude, wants to interact with locals, and a white Ladakh with a ‘Chadar’ on the Zanskar is on your wishlist, then head to Ladakh between December and February.
http://midearth.in/leh-ladakh-tour/
We chose the end of the tourist season, as we wanted motorable roads, but also wished to avoid locations swarming with tourists. Started off from Mumbai on 17th Sept and reached Leh on the 22nd. Took us that long, as we visited Amritsar, for Golden Temple and Wagah Border, along the way.
Where to Stay
From rickety lodges, to tented campsites, from simple homestays to luxury hotels… and everything in between, Ladakh has all on offer.
It is advisable to check on the hotel of your choice before you set off. Some may be pre-booked, others may be decided on the go.
At Leh, we stayed at Hotel Gawaling, which was quite passable, and honestly, a bit overpriced. The staff and manager were super hosts though. Very helpful, and informative. The best option at Pangong Tso is, undoubtedly, Pangong Resort. At our last two destinations viz. Tso Moriri and Tso Kar, we had very limited choices. We chose Tso Moriri Lake View and Tso Kar Eco Resort, humble places with warm beds and lip-smacking food- served piping hot.
The Preparations
Three crazy petroheads- Vishal, Saheer and yours truly, had decided on this epic trip over a number of months of intense discussion and debate. All 3 of us are married with kids, so sensitising our families towards the significance of this trip- what it meant to us boys, why we simply needed to do it, and how it would be perfect just for boys to be going :p, were challenges that had to be surpassed first. And we did that with flying colours…hence this article vrooms it’s way to you.
Our Skoda Yeti was going to be the perfect companion for this audacious attempt. Although ours is 4×2, she has never let us down, even where there are virtually no roads. Dozens of blogs were researched, hundreds of chats and mails were exchanged, calls to riders and drivers who had been there-done that. And specifically for me, information about the amazing wildlife and birding opportunities that this cold desert has on offer.
The various lists we prepared on the Keep app were for-Gadgets, Attire, Medicines, Car essentials and Sundries. It’s a great app for creating your probable itinerary and journey log too. Strongly recommend you to download and use this one. Another wonderful app is Splitwise- it is a must if you want to split expenses with friends on a trip.
On the Road
Early morning on 17th Sept, we set off From Thane at 5 am. Our Yeti was loaded to the hilt (travelling light is something that we are yet to learn). Clothes, more clothes, snacks- mostly home made, extra can of diesel, and a very big camera bag…apart from the 3 occupants.
There’s a kick in starting off early from a city, you zip through all the otherwise crowded areas in a jiffy, and are on the highway at top speed. Chai stops are a must, and are essential pit stops on a long drive. Driver change happened every 3-4 hrs, and so a decent speed was maintained. We planned to reach Leh, via Ajmer-Amritsar-Manali-Jispa route.
Mountains…
The plains were full of rolling green fields, trundling tractors, puttering pumps, and vibrant Punjabi locals. A thick, creamy lassi before we left Punjab was a given, and we gulped down a tall glass before we started the climb. After a while, the hills started with the Hoshiarpur section, and tall lofty peaks were seen in the distance as we neared the bustling town of Kullu. The mighty Beas river was our constant companion through this leg.
The famous Rohtang Pass was also crossed, and we could now see those thrilling Himalayan peaks looming ever close.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t as cold as expected, when we checked into Ibex Hotel, Jispa. (10,500 feet) This is a good place to stay, as it is adjacent to the highway, on the banks of the Bhaga River.
22nd Sept- The most arduous part of our trip was coming up. We endeavored to cover 330 kms from Jispa to Leh, in a single day. Something we won’t advise the faint-hearted. The road upto Sarchu is almost non-existent, and you drive at an average speed of 20 kmph. The healthy suspension of the Yeti proved to be a big relief. The checkpost at Darcha is a compulsory stop, where all tourists have to register.
After breakfast, we laboured to Barlacha La (16,500 ft), where we started experiencing the altitude just a bit. Both Bhaga and Chandra rivers originate from the melting snow on either sides of this pass.
Sarchu is a military base on way, and has a police check post, where we had to register again. It also marks the end of Himachal Pradesh, and The Ladakh region of J & K starts here. The crazy Gata Loops were further down this road. These loops are a continuous section of 22 hairpin bends, that also elevate your altitude by a cool 500 metres.
Post lunch, as we climbed up to the Tanglang La (17,480 ft), we were hit by a bout of AMS- Acute Mountain Sickness, like a bolt from the blue! The whole world was spinning, our heads- especially the rear part, felt numb and leaden. Breathing was difficult, and we were feeling nauseous. Everything seemed fuzzy at that altitude, and as it had also started snowing, the mercury had dipped suddenly. We were still crazy enough to get down for 2 minutes, and shoot a quick V-log. It was very tempting to slow down, and rest a wee bit. But, we didn’t allow ourselves that luxury, because all informative blogs had advised against it, expressly. What a herculean task it was to keep going! Finally, we saw the road descending, and within the next 15 minutes, we were 1000 ft lower, and were breathing much easier!
The road through the Moore Plains, a plateau after the passes, was zip, zap, zoom. We sped across this stretch, often at speeds of 100 kmph, and finally arrived at Leh around 9 pm.
The Land of Gods
This high altitude desert, has some stunning landscapes of myriad varieties. Add to that the bluest skies you’ll ever see, mighty rivers, monasteries steeped in history, rich birdlife and wildlife, and most importantly the warm and friendly Ladakhis…it’s undoubtedly, the Land of Gods.
23rd Sept- We kicked off our local sightseeing with a visit to ‘Hall of Fame’ created by the Indian Army. Hair-raising exploits of our brave armed forces are mentioned here, along with ammunition and the snow suits that protect them from the harsh climate.
The ‘Leh Palace’ was next- an imposing 9 storeyed structure, modeled on the famous Potala Palace of Tibet, built in the 17th century. Sadly, it lies in ruins today, and the restoration work appeared shoddy and myopic. Wonderful bird’s eye view of the city from here.
An hour’s drive from Leh, the ‘Sangam Point’- a confluence of Indus and Zanskar rivers. One can clearly see the 2 rivers merging, owing to the difference in coloration. Quite a spectacle! On way back, we stopped at Magnetic Hill- a “gravity hill”. The layout of the area creates an optical illusion such that vehicles appear to roll uphill, in defiance of gravity.
Another interesting stopover on way back was the Gurudwara ‘Baba Patthar Saheb’. An amusing legend is associated with this name, which I won’t spoil for you. We enjoyed the yummiest ‘Karah Prasad’ (sacred pudding) ever tasted in any Gurudwara till date.
24th Sept- Proceeded to Nubra Valley. Crossing the Khardung La- the world’s highest motorable pass (18,380 ft), was the high point. It was very windy, and at 2.5 deg, bone-chilling! Still, a V-log and selfies were a given. A signboard warned visitors not to stay for more than 20 minutes, as it could lead to serious health complications. A Chukar Partridge family spotted by Vishal, on a winding sloping road, was awesome. This bird was a lifer for me.
Just before Nubra, we enjoyed an ATV ride on the sand dunes, and also captured some stunning images by a shallow roadside pool. Bactrian camel ride is fun, and we had fun doing this at Hunder.
25th Sept– The sleepy lanes of Diskit, the chirping of a hundred birds, and fluttering butterflies all have an old world charm. Off we went to the 14th century, Diskit monastery. Every monastery has it’s own style of architecture, and a schedule of prayers that is followed strictly. We were lucky to be there at the time of morning prayers, peacefully chanted by a dozen monks. A 32 metre statue of Maitreya Buddha towers over the landscape, on a hill adjoining the monastery.
A road trip is all about enjoying whatever comes your way- expected as well as unexpected. Since we were running late for our Pangong, a lunch stop was skipped. Instead, we rolled some theplas brought from home, and had them on the go. To avoid the Chang La, we took an adventurous detour- via Aagam, along the Shyok river. We literally drove over the river bed (only open when the waters recede), so roads didn’t exist at all. We were driving over pebbles and boulders almost all through. It was almost dark, by the time we reached Spangmik village on the shores of the pristine Pangong Tso. It was biting cold, and I suffered from my second bout of AMS inside our tent. It felt as if someone was trying to squeeze my lungs out. Everytime I tried to sleep, it felt as if I was being smothered. Very bad time, honestly. I only felt better when I was administered some oxygen the next day.
Pristine Pangong
26th Sept– Nothing, I repeat, nothing prepares you for the visual treat called Pangong Tso. You might have seen hundreds of images, and might have read a bagful of blogs about it…the experience of feasting your eyes on this water body, it’s various shades of blue, navy blue, aquamarine, green, turquoise, and even brown and red at times- turns even the most poetic ones, speechless. It is the largest lake in the Himalayas (130 km long), at an altitude of 13,900 ft. The name Pangong is derived from the Tibetan word, Banggong co-meaning ‘enchanted, long, narrow lake’ . The cool breeze, the gentle waves, the flight of feathered friends, and the sound of silence-all provided a heady mix. We spent around 3 hrs, photographing the lake from various angles, and with a variety of gadgets. Surely, a destination you must visit, before you die.
On our way back to Leh, we visited Hemis Monastery, supposedly the richest in India. They had recently hosted the ‘Himalayan Kumbh Mela’, and so there were additional decorations and lights put up, which only added to it’s grace.
Where very few dare…
27th Sept– A quick visit to the famous Shanti Stupa at Leh, and another stopover at Thiksey Monastery, we were off to the remotest destinations – Tso Moriri and Tso Kar (Tso means lake), around 250 kms from Leh. Talking to policemen and locals at some of the check posts was quite a revelation. They were so eager to speak to us and know more about our journey. By the time we veered off the tar roads, and onto the dusty roads closer to Tso Moriri, we started having doubts about the path. Of course, the offline map was showing that we were on track. But, there was a premonition that we might end up somewhere else. A good Samaritan stopped his car, and guided us all the way up to Korzok, on the shore of the lake. Checked into the hotel, wolfed down food, and we crashed. It was super cold.
28th Sept– What an awesome day! The very reason we were travelling to Tso Kar, which was not even considered by regular tourists, was the Black-necked Cranes, Wild Ass, Wolf and a variety of endemic birds and lesser mammals. And boy, were we blessed beyond imagination. We spotted not one, but 8 marmots in a colony on way. Another cute little fellow was the Himalayan Pika, and the bird list grew richer by a large num ber on this route. Since the roads were so bad, we were forced to go dead slow, and hence the increased sightings! And at night, just before we reached Tso Kar, a Himalayan Wolf raced past us, and then kept staring straight into our bright torch. Thrilling!!!
29th Sept– Our last day in Ladakh. We woke up to see frost on our car, which meant that the mercury had dipped below zero at night. At 7 am, the temperature gauge showed 2 degrees, and we had to keep the engine running, till it reached a healthy 6 degrees. After a decent round of birding around the lake, we finally set off on our return journey. Largely, we got superb roads, all thanks to the BRO (Border Roads Organisation). Off we went via the Moore Plains, Gata loops et al, all the way to Jispa.
The Return
From Jispa, we headed for a refreshing 2 day break at Kasol, and then back to pavilion via Chandigarh and Udaipur.
Thus ended an unforgettable trip…a journey which may not be all that rare nowadays, but it will be forever special for us. The chills and thrills experienced during our Ladakh Road Trip will always hold a special place in our hearts. We may end up doing road trips all over the world, but this will always be remembered as “the first one.”
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