#and she KNOWS this triggers me badly its made me suicidal before and yknow what happened then? i had to apologize for making HER feel bad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haunted-house-heart · 2 years ago

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living with someone with untreated mental illness is like. i understand why you're like this and i do empathize but also like. jesus fucking christ get some help before i throttle you i stg

#i hate my sis so much. like i get it. i really do. a lot of how she acts is due to mental illness and trauma but at the same time she also #just really shitty. like ik recovery is different for everyone and you move at your own pace but she just. isnt recovering at all it seems #like its been 6yrs since we got out and my mom and i have worked really hard on getting better and changing our behaviors #all the while shes just getting worse and worse to be around. like shes legitimatrly turning into my (abusive) father #its terrifying honestly but we cant do anything about it bc you cant talk to her #you say like ''hey this thing you did upset me can you please try to not do that again'' not angry or anything and she starts crying and #yelling bc youre triggering her and its not fair and nobody loves her and like. i get that some people cry a lot and thats fine! i get that #but its literally impossible to talk to her about anything bc she acts like shes the victim and youre fuckin evil for telling her to please #not put her dirty clothes on my shelf i dont like that please. like thats not an unreasonable request and im not being mean about it! but #im the bad guy for doing anything that critisises her.#and she treats my mom like shit. like i could deal w her being a bitch to me but to momma? fuck no.#i dont believe you owe your parents shit but my mom has been a fucking saint when life dealt her a hand that shouldve made her a devil #she did her absolute best and *she* was the one that sacrificed everything to get us out #and my sister treats her like shes an incapable selfish idiot.#and she never lets me talk. shell talk for an hour about smth she knows i dont care about but when i try to tell her like. hey my fav band #is putting out a new album or smth im real excited about. she gets on her phone and just ignores me.#and she KNOWS this triggers me badly its made me suicidal before and yknow what happened then? i had to apologize for making HER feel bad #she talks over both of us but it you start talking when she was THINKING about talking she has a fit #and she actively tries to gaslight my mom. like im dead fuckin serious my mom has to ask me if smth really happened bc my sis told her it #did/didnt and she has to get me to confirm the truth for her #and she treats her pets like crap she should not be allowed to have pets bc she just loses interest in them and stops taking care of them #and we have to pick up the slack #its literally just like being with my dad again. walking on eggshells all the time #my mom cant watch tv at night bc ellie gets pissed at her for ''waking her up''. even tho she claims she never sleeps.#i hate her so so much i want to punch her i want her to move out i want to never ever see her again #but rn we cant afford to live on our own. so we have to stay with her #anyway.#vent #tw abuse

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