#:jazzhands: enjoy

[sunriseverse]

In the end, Ruan Nanzhu supposes, there’s no way it could have been avoided. At best, it could be mitigated: Ruan Nanzhu sticking close to Lin Qiushi’s side for the rest of eternity, making sure his wounds weren’t as heavy. But he can’t help but be seethingly, horribly angry at the client who had caused this—at the fact that, because of them, Lin Qiushi is pallid and deathly, limp and pliant. His only comfort is they had died, there, behind the door—the least they deserve for letting Lin Qiushi get hurt like this; if they weren’t dead already, Ruan Nanzhu—well. People have described him as ruthless, and Ruan Nanzhu has never bothered to weigh in otherwise. He hasn’t killed many people, but for Lin Qiushi—for Lin Qiushi, there are many, many things he would do that he wouldn’t usually. - Injured in his first solo door, Lin Qiushi seems to be on the verge of death when he emerges, leaving Ruan Nanzhu to wait and hope for him to recover—at least, until he suddenly awakens, seemingly without any trace of injury. But not everything is as it appears, and secrets will always out.

-- hunger, bright (nanqiu, m, 8.4k, vampire au)

[partyinthemysterymachine]

(Pistachio) Puddin'

(harry/james; -adjacent au)

===

“Okay, okay,” Harry tutted, lifting the fussing baby girl from the changing table. “I know. I’m sorry. I have to invade your privacy until you’re fully potty trained. That’s gonna take a while.” He propped her on his chest and shoulder, patting her back as he left the nursery. “You’re a good girl. Don’t get any ideas about starting a rebellious phase just yet, okay? Heather’s still on hers, and she’s getting up there. Okay, early twenties, but your sister is definitely having a rebellious phase that started when she was about eight..”

“What’re you telling her about now?” James tilted his head back to try to look at them over the couch, ending up righting it as he followed them to the point where Harry curled up on the couch beside him. 

“Warning her against a rebellious phase too soon.” He tilted his head to the side as he peeled the baby away from his shoulder, holding her in his lap. The gravedigger leaned over to look. “Look at her, James. She’s got a gleam in her eye that I’m very sure that we’re going to need to keep under careful surveillance.”

Setting the tablet down, James then reached to scoop up the baby from Harry’s lap. The author acquiesced, smiling softly. Nothing was verbally said; Harry heard his silence just fine. He stroked the back of his lover’s blond head, kissed his shoulder, then got back up. “Heather's coming over tonight. Not for dinner. She just wants to visit.”

James laid Rose on his thighs where they could openly and easily stare at each other. “Okay. What time?”

“Uhhh, I think around eight. She said she had a few things to do first.” Harry looked over. “I don’t think she'll be here too long, though; just wanted to swing by.”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna take a bath,” Harry announced, beginning to walk off just as James rose to his feet. “I fed and changed the baby, so, no need to worry abo—“ Frowning, he stopped in his tracks and spread out his hands questioningly at James’s mild frown. “What?”

“I was gonna change her.”

He blew a raspberry. “Next time, then. It won’t be long.” James shouldered their child, rubbing her back as he slowly pivoted, holding a playful glare out of the corner of his eye. 

“Fine.”

“I can’t believe we were gonna argue about changing the baby,” Harry chuckled, heading down the hall. His husband watched him go, then looked at the sweet little infant on his shoulder.

James gave her a gentle hug that secured her to him until he got comfortable stretched out on the sofa. He kissed her dark, downy hair and held his lips on her head as he flipped through Netflix, settling on that Stranger Things show. Harry had mentioned it a few times before and James thought it was maybe about time he gave it a shot. The remote was in reaching distance, he was relaxed, and his baby girl safe on his chest.

Tenderly moving her lower so he could see her, the former conduit studied the phenomenon that grew a little more each day. He loved her. Already, Harry was accusing him of replacing him with Rose and having to fight with him to change her, or get up in the night to tend to her. Those were jokes and they both knew it, yet James was getting good at beating him to the punch when she cried through the speakers. She was just amazing. There was nothing like fatherhood.

James was starting to really get where Harry was coming from about the pride and joy of being a dad. 

Life was turning out incredible. A gold ring encircled a finger he didn’t think would feel one again; someone loved him ravenously, passionately, unconditionally; he had a stable job he liked, friends he regularly talked to and even saw on his own time; enjoyed waking up in the morning, to go to work, to come home, text his family - a family. James had a family. 

The Masons adopted him into theirs, and with Harry, recreated it a little when their legal surnames became hyphenated. Now James and Harry were Mason-Sunderlands. Then Harry started talking about how he loved children and wished he could’ve had a baby, but he’s getting too old. It’s not fair. It wouldn’t be fair to the child. 

And no, it wasn’t fair to Rose. They weren’t sure how James would age, or what complications could be ahead. James was a mystery, and Harry was reality. He was almost fifty. He’d be in his seventies by the time their little girl was twenty. They’d talked a lot about this after they decided to try to get pregnant and it was a subject that they never liked to bring up.

It’s just that they’d been feeling the weight of it lately, and like last night, held each other tight, hoping the other knew how deep ‘I love you’ went.

He wanted to take their daughter into the bathroom and climb in, clothes and all, with Harry. But he’d be out soon (unless he’d fallen asleep, which had happened before, so he ought to check in in half an hour), and he knew they’d pull out the ‘bed’ under the couch and have a lovely cuddle, the three of them.

Noise from the TV got his attention. James actually started watching, absently rubbing and kissing his daughter as the episode progressed. The show was pretty interesting. So interesting, that he forgot to check in on his husband, and an hour an half later, got a good startle when Harry suddenly appeared in his line of sight heading into the kitchen.

“Ooh, giving Stranger Things a go, huh? Nice. I think you’ll like it,” he continued, raising his voice a bit to be heard as he moved about behind the sofa. “I’d be a little careful though, honey. Some things could be triggering.”

“I’ll keep it in check,” James called back, tilting his head up better hearing. “How was the bath?”

“Nice. Almost fell asleep, though. Those bath salts are amazing.”

“Heather got you those, right?”

“Yeah. They’re better than Epsom salt. I gotta ask her where she found ‘em.”

“Cool.”

“I’m gonna make some coffee, babe. Want anything?”

“Uuuuuhhhhh..”

Harry smiled to himself as James gave his offer a good thought. Glancing over, he saw his yellow wheat field hair drawn back by gravity and incredible genetics, a peek of his forehead, eye, and nose ridge. He had to stop and admire. Truly, his heart soared when he saw him; he wouldn’t ever lie about something like that. Every day, Harry fell madly in love with James over and over and over and for the love of god, he hoped his husband knew, at the very least, a fraction of what it was like for Harry to love him.

It hurt worse than hell, and he was glad for it. He didn’t want anyone else. Jodi had been a love in his life, and they’d loved each other intensely. With her, they adopted Cheryl, and losing Jodi was a pain he still felt. She was always a fun conversation in therapy.

But James.. it was a shame he had to find his other half waiting for him in Silent Hill. Harry was grateful to have found him at all. The search for the piece of his severed soul had come to an end, and currently lay on the couch, cradling their baby girl on his chest.

The movement on the TV caught his eye and he paid some attention to the plot while James mulled over whether or not he wanted anything.

“Do we have any pistachio pudding?”

“Uhhh..” He heard the fridge door clatter. “Yeah. You want that?” 

“Yeah. Please.”

James blinked at him in surprise when he brought over a cold medium-sized bowl full of fresh, untouched pastel green pudding. He was handed a spoon, and was about to complain that he had nowhere to put it - but Harry was already on the case. Bending down, he grabbed the fabric loops drooping under the cushion, pulling out the large extension from underneath that made the couch and chaise combination one large, bed-like space. 

The gravedigger smiled and again with his husband’s help, got himself arranged in a way that allowed him to hold their baby and enjoy his dessert with ease. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He closed his eyes to receive the kiss on his forehead and comb of fingers through his hair. 

“You’re welcome. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[fooltofancy]

benafflecksmoking.jpg

i'm drawing something so stupid but then unfortunately i started taking it seriously so while we're here (suffering) i've gotta say urianger girlies (gn) i'm so sorry i get it now i'm sorry

[bloodgulchblog]

Seeing posts that make me think about stuff! (This is not in a negative sense! I enjoy thinking and think it's good for me to re-evaluate my biases.)

I do think the most hardcore canon-text answer re: shipping the Chief is not shipping him with anyone. I also think this does not bother him, and that read-as-written he probably does not have some kind of inner secret forgotten yearning for romance.

And this matters to me a little bit because *jazzhands* local real human being making this post also does not feel those things or have that need.

But also, it's fun to figure him out with people. It's easy to figure out why other characters might be into John, and even though I'm mostly joking re: canon (Arbiter's Giant Warrior Crush is one of these jokes) I think it's possible to read multiple characters as having very strong feelings about him, even if you have to do a little work to make it romance. He has a lot of very good qualities and is a very impressive dude.

It's a lot harder to work out a situation where he himself feels like reciprocating anything is in any way a good idea or something he would want to do, both because of how he views himself and because of how I see him having concerns about his impact on others. Even if something feels personally good for John, which... John is bad at emotions and especially his own in the first place? I think he doesn't value his own feelings and considers them not worth jeopardizing anything else he values more (the mission, the safety and wellbeing of others) with any stupid fumbling on his end for reasons he thinks would be selfish.

(Also this is not even getting into how I feel like what a romantic emotion could be for John, if he had one, is maybe not very typical. But I would have to really dig in to talk about that topic and I don't want this post to get even longer.)

And because it's hard, it's like a puzzle and that's fun for me. Sometimes I can't even make it work when I am my most honest, but I am still compelled by the effort.

....Anyway everyone can do whatever they want forever re: shipping or not shipping the fictional character in any way they want and I wish everyone good fortune on their endeavors even if we diverge from one another.

[we-joyless-few]

angst time *jazzhands*

summary: Foggy Jack kills again and regrets it.

basically, i said i’d write a darker version of my previous Foggy Jack x Nick Lightbearer rewrite where Jack kills Nick, so… yeah :)

tw: major character death, violence, unhealthy relationships

enjoy :3

(@joyful-downer so you can see this :3c)

-------------------------------------------------

The one and only Nick Lightbearer ran as fast and as far as his legs would take him, dashing through the hotel maze until he reached the stage. He tried with all his might to defend himself with his guitar, but a single swipe of Foggy Jack’s cleaver damaged the face and strings of his beloved instrument. The rock god panicked and swung the guitar so it smashed over Jack’s head, but it did nothing except spur the murderer further.

Nick cried out in fear as he continued running, yelping when he tripped on his way onto the stage. In mere moments, Foggy Jack was upon him once more, wielding his cleaver in confidence.

“Please, don’t kill me! Have mercy!” Lightbearer sobbed, protectively crossing his arms over his face.

The serial killer scoffed and raised his cleaver above his head. “Why would I give mercy to someone who continues to hurt me? You run, and run, and keep fleeing when all I want is to love you!” He bared his teeth with a snarl. “Any last words?”

“You don’t have to do this! We can talk it ou-GYAAAH!!” A screech of pain was ripped from the rockstar’s throat as the weapon the other was carrying was soon lodged right in the spot between his shoulder and his chest, dangerously close to his throat. “No, nononononono, you- you can’t do this to me, you can’t kill me, it’s not fair!” Nick whimpered softly, his hands grasping his killer’s wrist. “Please, please, why?”

Foggy Jack didn’t answer, instead yanking his wrist out of Nick’s hands to pull the cleaver out of Nick’s torso with a grunt. He stared down at the rock god bleeding out at his feet, his thoughts a flurry in his mind.

“You’re a fucking monster,” Nick spat, unable to sit up from his fallen position. “You’re lucky it’s nice out. I’d have hated to die in that bloody hotel.” He looked up at the twinkling stars, taking in their beauty as the cool air of the night brushed over his face.

Jack turned to follow Nick’s gaze, eventually sitting beside the man. “I’m… sorry,” he finally said, sorrowfully looking at the man next to him.

“A little late for that.” Nick’s voice came out soft and resigned. His face was pale, and he was weak. “I used to love your show, you know. I could have loved you, too, if you let me, but.. you just keep hurting me, and now I’m dying. You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I know. I should have done better.” The killer looked at his shoes, then at the stars, feeling the breeze chill the metal mask on his face. “I should have been better. I could have been everything to you, I could have been a good man. But I’m not, and now it’s too late.”

When Nick didn’t reply, Jack turned to face him again, seeing the man’s glossy eyes staring up at nothing. The still-living man couldn’t help the pained sob that left his lips as he took the other into his arms, holding him close and crying tears that stained the Lightbearer’s bloodied Glad Rags. All he had done was for naught, every effort thrown away with a single mistake.

Jack Worthing would remember that night for the rest of his afterlife.

[laputian]

how does he handle being angry? does he enjoy silence or find it too loud?

the real character development questions / accepting

muska is ... an excellent study in mental health, and what i can safely say is the plotline of castle in the sky is about a guy with bipolar affective disorder in an increasingly manic stage with psychosis spiraling out of control. he also has ptsd and depression but that's not the point.

i joke about muska being "calm or manic rage", but actually that's pretty accurate. moreso, he's either quiet melancholy or manic rage, because jazzhands the man is unmedicated!!! so his anger similarly comes out differently depending on what episode he's going through.

mania and psychosis muska rage is ... the entire throne room scene where he decides on war crimes and gun. by this, i mean his judgement is poor, horrifically limited insight, and he's hostile. it's not great, it's scary for everyone around him and it's also scary for him. when he's not experiencing symptoms of mania and psychosis or when he's in a depressive episode, anger really means isolating and anhedonia. he can be irritable but he's more likely to just want to sleep than anything else. mental health more like mental hell-

on the topic of silence or lack thereof, muska likes an environment where he can focus. not too loud, but not dead quiet- the former because he needs to concentrate an the latter because he's got some massive ptsd and his brain associates complete silence with the aftermath of the first fall. you know, where basically everyone died (as far as he knew...).

there is always a faint sound of music in his personal quarters at fort tedus and no one knows where it's coming from... and he certainly won't tell! (it might be spellcraft! but, considering castle in the sky is "late 19th century" and since cars and the telegraph exist, if it's past 1880, the gramaphone existed so it could also be one of those but okay- regardless, good luck finding out)

[marypsue]

I am feeling better!! ( you guessed correctly, I am mostly the anon in your inbox except for when you get others which is embarrassingly a little disorienting for me( generally though, if you see typos and an overuse of exclamation points, tis I)) I also switched jobs so I am a little less existentially worn down but very busy alas and have a little less time for lurking on my favorite fic author’s tumblr page sadly. But I appreciate you taking the time to answer my many asks, in many ways it’s been a little something I look forward to during the drudgery of adulthood!! It’s been a joy to see the behind the scenes to your writing process and get glimpses into future ST fics!!(also Robin and Steve mean kid duo is one of my favorite vibes so the sneak peek was a very fun one!! Your faithfulness to the characters and interest on ensemble over ships is something I think really makes your work stand out and why I keep returning to them, that and the humor)

I will definitely be checking out the vampire story after this!! Also I hope you’re staying safe and that you’re weren’t too impacted from the fires as a Canadian! (I know Canada is large but also the fires seemed quite bad and sadly very large)

Thank you! I'm very glad to hear you're feeling better, physically and existentially! And luckily I personally haven't run into any wildfire issues other than a few days stuck in the house trying not to breathe too often. Although there was one hairy weekend there that I did spend listening to evacuation alerts to see if I was going to be next. *jazzhands*

It is delightful to get to talk to you about the behind-the-scenes of writing fic and meta about the show! I really enjoy trading thoughts and theories and what-ifs, and you have very good thoughts. And I'm so, so glad to hear that the characterisation and ensemble focus are important to you, because they're important to me too. I just. I like all of these fictional little guys. I want more of them.

Also, Robin and Steve are both antagonistic bitches and I like them so much.

[callmearcturus]

Okay so

My family missed Wicked

We saved up and bought the tickets literally months ago, this has been planned forever. It was a combination gift for my grandmother and my great aunt.

And somehow, we bought tickets for Thurs and became CONVINCED they were for Saturday. The mistake was that simple, exacerbated by what a disaster the drive to Raleigh was.

So everyone is enjoying vacation, ladeedah and then on Saturday I decide to install the ticket app and get ready. And I realized.

Had a FULL sobbing breakdown. Tree was there and literally held me as I sobbed. He was a heroic. He made phone calls while I was still just numb.

Turned out I had insurance on the tickets, so. I did the only thing I could. I bought new tickets for Saturday. Significantly worse tickets, like poor Tree was on the end of a row, I wasn't next to my mother, my gran and aunt were on another level entirely. It was a financial punch in the teeth but.... I'm hoping the insurance company reimburses me for the first tickets. That'll help.

So my "vacation" was nice bc I saw my brother and all, but also was the most stressful vacation of my life, do not recommend.

/jazzhands

I was gonna make a joke about how a v nice person sent me a lil money to treat myself and how actually I was gonna squirrel that away for the Wicked thing but then I realized I never actually said what stupid fucking disaster happened re: the Wicked thing huh

[wanderingsongbird]

mistletoe + felix! @devil-of-roseville :]

@devil-of-roseville

[hailsatanacab]

Getting emotional over your fic again. HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED (affectionate)

Very!!! 😇😇

[clonesdeservebetter]

Amidala’s got the Senate wrapped around her finger, Kenobi is formidable and ruthless, and Skywalker, well... He’s Skywalker. Dealing with those three alone is headache enough, but when they work together? Force help whoever’s foolish enough to go up against them. I almost feel sorry for the Separatists. 

Star Wars Morality Swap: Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Anakin

[cyborg-franky]

One Piece Characters And 'Toys'

Some N/SFW headcannons for this fine stormy evening. Me and @missallsundaes decided to compile our thoughts into more heacannons -jazzhands- N/SFW under cut - headcannons for the most part fit GN reader.

intimidated/insecure that you own sex toys. Sanji, Usopp, Buggy [why you need a toy when my dick is detachable babe?] Has more then you. Nami, Robin [many arms many toys] Izou, Boa, Doffy, Wants to pick out ones together. Nami, Robin, Franky [Builds them for you]Marco, Rayleigh, Open to trying them. Usopp, Jinbei, Ace, Thatch, Kid, Killer, Shanks, Crocodile, Corazon Pretends not to be interested but is very interested. Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Mihawk, Asks you if you have a strap on yet. Nami [No? I have plenty don't worry] Robin, Franky, Brook, Ace, Thatch, Izou, Rayleigh, Roger, Sabo Wants you to use toys on them. Nami, Thatch, Izou, Roger [peg the pirate king, do it] Sabo, Corazon Wants to use them on you. Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Brook, Whitebeard [vibrating dick] Franky [who doesn't love a dick with multiple settings] Marco, Thatch, Kid, Killer, Rayleigh, Shanks, Boa, Doffy Has one or two themselves. Franky, Brook, Marco, Rayleigh Wants to watch you use them on someone else. Robin, Franky, Marco, Killer, Rayleigh, Roger, Shanks, Boa Wants to watch you use them on yourself. Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Brook, Ace, Thatch, Law, Kid, Rayleigh, Roger, Shanks, Buggy [please fuck yourself with his cock and let him watch] Boa, Crocodile, Mihawk, Doffy, Buys you one as a gift. Nami, Franky [makes you one as a gift] Brook, Thatch, Shanks, Boa, Crocodile, Very much enjoys remote control toys and loves to watch you squirm. Nami, Marco, Ace, Law, Kid, Rayleigh, Shanks, Sabo, Boa, Crocodile You help them pick out their first toy. Usopp, Corazon

[poibynt]

@missypup has tagged me to list my top 5 favourite fics I’ve written. Ask and ye shall be answered.

5, genuinely don’t remember what I named it (newtmas, TMR, 2018)

The first fic I ever wrote! I don’t think I put it anywhere but it was the first. And it totally set the scene of my future fics, because it was an emotionally charged conversation *jazzhands*. It’s buried somewhere in one of email accounts ggd but I’d really rather not dig it up bc ew.

4, how ironic (newtmas, TMR, 2019)

The first fic I ever put on Ao3 and perhaps my favourite out of my TMR fics. There’s not a lot of reasoning behind this one.

3 [podfic] tag (Newtmas, TMR, 2020)

This was my first podfic, and therefore holds a special place in my heart. Though my household rarely meets the conditions I need to record, especially since covid, I do love podfics and podficcing. Besides this the fic I podficced is like my Experimental Fic (affectionate) that was really just me throwing a bunch of thoughts about TMR on a page w no dialogue. all around it holds a spot in my heart even if I can absolutely not ever listen to it again.

2, At ash’amur, norac at norac. At oyayc, pel’gam at pel’gam. (Bobadin, SW, 2022)

I wrote this the day after the TBOBF finale dropped bc if I didn’t get my feelings about it out I felt like it was going to eat me. I could describe the writing process behind this one as feverish. Besides the rather unique circumstances behind it I just genuinely like how it turned out. By god do I regret how long the name is though.

1, harbinger (bobadin, SW, current WIP)

Harbringer is the fic I’m working on for bobadinbingo. It has kind of spiralled out of control and grown into something much bigger, both literally (it stands at around 23k currently which is the longest anything I’ve written has ever been) and personally. I’ve put a little bit of my soul into this one. My love of quiet magic, lighthouses and seabirds, as well as my childhood, my wanderlust and my homesickness and the ache of feeling both at the same time. It’s also the first multi chapter fic I’ve ever written, and it poses new technical difficulties I’ve really been enjoying trying to overcome.

This is an open tag, so consider yourself tagged if you want to respond. I’m also tagging @ryehouses and @shortmage. No pressure though

[vloggerliam]

The funniest thing ever is all the stupid haters who were basically telling Liam he didn't know how to dress, and Liam fucking went and proved them wrong. He showed up in the most banging yet simple suit, looking fine af and so effortlessly gorgeous and stole the show. He literally proved how unattainable he was to the world. That Glamour look was essentially a mic drop.

Hiii mate, Okay so this is ages late and I’m so sorry I sat on this ask for so long, but in hindsight maybe it’s a good thing because Liam provided me with beautiful receipts.“That Glamour look was essentially a mic drop”, where is the lie??

Look how crisp, how sharp, how well-fitted. ARMANI LIAM BLESSINGS.

Look at his strong hair game, look at how beautiful he is, look at how smug he looks because like you said, he looked so attractively unattainable.

BONUS:

Part 1 of Capital STB: so stylish yet comfortable

Part 2 of Capital STB: Easily one of the most suave performer on stage

Bonus:KISS concert at Boston: aka that green jacket accentuated his stage jazz by a factor of 100

Bonus:KISS concert at Buffalo: ALL WHITE, GOOD GOD, I AM MOLTEN LIQUID

BONUS: MILAN FASHION WEEK: ARMANI LIAM STRIKES AGAIN!!!That’s a candid, not a photoshoot, jejdfshkjhskjsjgj

Liam James Dean Payne

or, Liam James Bond Payne, you decide

Anyway, haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate and Liam gonna keep slaying. :’)*credit to pic owners*

[thecouchidiots]

I may have just spent the last five hours working on this whoops

[vukovich]

Writerly Ephemera

I’ve been watching @the-starryknight’s tag game(original post) like a storm front.  It was thiiiiiis close to going around me, then BAM, Ali @nv-md got me. 

All day, I thought about ignoring the tag.  And I thought about just bullshitting. 

But any Tumblr followers who read all the way through Eagles in Truro would know that’s off-brand.  And those readers have already seen straight into my soul, anyway.

Truth be told, I write angsty, hurty, is-there-even-a-tag-for-this-shit because *jazzhands*trauma*jazzhands*, and I’m not going to go deep in the weeds on that.  Neither of us wants that.  And I wrote a vague, allegorical post about it already.

Pretty much all of the food and drink in my writing is straight out of my kitchen.  Yes, even Garnishes.

So, without traipsing into deep waters, here are a few snippets.

Eagles in Truro

Born at dawn, named after luck, Your first words were “What the fuck!”

My Icarus who’s scared of heights, My pacifist who starts the fights.

(My youngest is the inspiration for this poem, and the child character the poem is about.)

--

Garnishes

“Feta is your problem, not a solution. Less cardamum. Garnish with the zest, don’t add it. Your new grillardin should be fired before he starts one.”

(This is 100% me.  Unfiltered.)

--

Touched Out

He set the bottle down and reached out, fingers curling around the band of Draco's pajama bottoms.  He tugged him closer, but Draco didn't budge.

Draco's breath huffed out, a disdainful scowl across his face.  "No.  I swear to Merlin, the next person who touches me for their own benefit will lose that hand."

Harry's heart sank as Draco stepped back, out of reach.

(Ah, the newborn-related sleep deprivation days.)

--

Still Waters

“What don’t you know, almighty Rusalka?”

Magnus’s lips quirked into what was almost a smile. “I don’t know what you expected to eat. Not eating pork is vegetarianism here.”

(Actual line from a family dinner regarding not eating pork in parts of Eastern Europe.)

--

Baste the Rainbow

He rolled onto his back and looked at Draco's mobile, still held aloft in his other hand.  A very oily man lay on a table, and a man in tented scrubs gave him a very unprofessional rub-down.

"What's with you and the massage porn?"

Draco shrugged and popped two red Skittles in his mouth, evening out the pyramid.  "I like it when they're nice to each other first."

(I concur.  Oily boys are happy boys.)

--

This is about all I can come up with that isn’t just an awkward list of sexual exploits and horror stories, so, uh, enjoy?