vukovich

[vukovich]

inspired by the gorgeous The Foxing Ring by @vukovich, i wanted to draw what happens to draco after hours at those international business consortiums!

this fic is sweet like a bowl of cheerios, but if some of them were black or made of mild stimulants. i can recite bits of it by heart!

every day until christmas, i’m posting a piece of fanart for fics that got me through this year in a series called early christmas presents

[vukovich]

or two or three amiright

POV you’re Ron Weasley and you just walked into your dormitory and had a stroke

[vukovich]

[vukovich]

self-recognition through the other (concerned)

[vukovich]

[vukovich]

Turn based sex. Take as long as you need to think of a strategy.

[vukovich]

Very well.

FISTMAS MICROFICS

ASKS OPEN

Smol fics packed with full holes. Will post all on Christmas Eve night. Not to honor Baby J, but to pour one out for Mary’s taint.

Must include which hole to be fisted and the preferred dynamic and ship. And throw something stupid in there too.

HP Rec Fest 2024 - Day 20

A fic with fanart

while it does have excellent fanart, i confess that the fanart is not the first thing i think of when i think of this fic. when i briefly forgot its title, i noted it down in my rec fest planning doc as "the one with The Fisting Scene." in my head, this is not remotely ambiguous.

the fic is, of course, WHISKEY-TANGO-FOXTROT by @vukovich. if you're not sure if you've read it, you almost certainly haven't. it's not one that you're likely to forget. and if you're anything like me, the Fisting Scene will make you go "fucking hell, what are we (smut writers) doing with our lives? why aren't we writing more fisting??"

(thanks to @hprecfest for the prompt!)

[vukovich]

HP Rec Fest 2024 - Day 20

A fic with fanart

while it does have excellent fanart, i confess that the fanart is not the first thing i think of when i think of this fic. when i briefly forgot its title, i noted it down in my rec fest planning doc as "the one with The Fisting Scene." in my head, this is not remotely ambiguous.

the fic is, of course, WHISKEY-TANGO-FOXTROT by @vukovich. if you're not sure if you've read it, you almost certainly haven't. it's not one that you're likely to forget. and if you're anything like me, the Fisting Scene will make you go "fucking hell, what are we (smut writers) doing with our lives? why aren't we writing more fisting??"

(thanks to @hprecfest for the prompt!)

[vukovich]

I fully understand why "character A is astounded at the sight of character B's penis" is a specific kink that gets tagged for, but the fact that some platforms choose to tag this kink as "penis awe" is unintentionally very funny. Now I'm picturing penis experience kink tags for all those other allegedly transcendent emotions in the glossary of your Philosophy 101 textbook. Penis faith. Penis Weltschmerz. Penis apprehension of the absurd.

[vukovich]

So do you stick it in and then take a puff? What are the logistics

[vukovich]

They’re soulmates but one of them is infact trying to choke the other to death with the red string of fate tying them together

[vukovich]

get okay with being some level of burden on others, seriously

[vukovich]

Give me that good hurt

[vukovich]

there's something i find particularly annoying in this fandom and it's the way purebloods are written as highly sophisticated extremely rich and straight up a rip off of regency period novels

i understand the choice of this specific portrayal, i can see it as an approximation to historical drama, where the social restrictions are compelling and are relevant to the story, and a good writer can make any concept believable and good

HOWEVER as much as the worldbuilding on wizarding costumes (and a lot of other things) is extremely inconsistent and gets progressively worse towards the later three books, the implications that i see don't point towards this version of a sophisticated performatic elite who interacts only with itself

while i tend to see the blood status in the harry potter universe as a distinction of class and not at all a distinction of race, i don't think the difference is, in practice, as marked as it is in real world contexts, mostly because of how numerically small and insulated the wizarding community is

this post is part of my personal vendetta against purebloods as charming aristocrats & what appears to be the necessity of writing each and all of them as so very well spoken and politically savvy and never-caught-dead-speaking-to-a-half-blood

for once, the sacred twenty-eight is extra canon information and is disputed IN UNIVERSE, because it was anonymously published and received backlash for the inclusion (weasley, ollivander) and exclusion (crabbe, goyle, potter) of certain names

the malfoys are the only extremely rich family we see in canon. extra canon information tells us they made money before the statute of secrecy by trading with muggles

compare that to the potters who are also very rich (there's no scale to tell us who is the richer family), but made most of their money from the invention of sleakezy in the 20th century

the blacks are also implied to be wealthy: sirius manages to live off his inheritance after buying harry an expensive broom, and he says his grandfather likely paid for an order of merlin

there's a lot to be said about the blacks (e.g. they should have at least a couple more properties other than grimmauld place), but the big picture and the similarity with the gaunts (not about the incest, stop fixating on that) suggest they were a family in decadence by the time sirius was growing up

i believe that the implication is that neither of them had a proper job, which creates a similarity with gentry, but gentry lived off rentals and while it is possible they had a country state i don't think grimmauld place was making a lot of money

lucius malfoy also didn't work and spent a portion of his time being a school counselor (and obviously not being paid for it, as it was a way to exercise his political power over the main learning institution in his community)

it's also extra canon that the nott family had equal footing with the malfoys, so we can assume that crabbe, goyle, parkinson and bulstrode were slightly beneath them, either in social standing or money, despite the later two being part of the sacred twenty-eight (or it could appear to be so because pansy and milicent are girls)

the weasleys are obviously the main example of a poor sacred twenty-eight family, as were the gaunts

the crouch family was most like rich (they could afford a house elf), but it's likely that most of that money came from mr. crouch having a high level ministry job. his family and connections were probably an advantage to getting the job, but it's possible he wouldn't be able to maintain the lifestyle without work

longbottom, prewett and macmillan are families that appear to be very traditional, but not remarkably wealthy

other working members of the sacred twenty-eight are: horace slughorn (school teacher, but it can be argued that teaching hogwarts is a prestigious position), garrick ollivander (wand maker and shop owner, but, again, the only wand maker, which holds a certain prestige in itself), mr. burke (shop owner), arthur weasley (ministry employee), frank longbottom and kingsley shacklebolt (both aurors). amycus and alecto carrow are also temporary hogwarts teachers

the blacks married out of the sacred twenty-eight many times (max, gamp, crabbe, potter)

all of these people and every single muggleborn goes to the same school, buys magical supplies at the same place, drinks from the same pubs, etc. that alone should serve as evidence that there aren't many exclusive pureblood hangouts around

the only place that seems to attract the malfoys (arguably the richest and most important pureblood family in the 90s) and not most other people, is the knockturn alley, which is hardly a high brow sophisticated spot

except for malfoy and flint, no slytherin quidditch player during the 90s is in the sacred twenty-eight, so that's hardly a criterion for making it into the team

mulciber is not a sacred twenty-eight name, they could very well be half-bloods

tom riddle and severus snape were half-blood students who formed ties with purebloods while in school and held blood supremacist views, assimilation to a certain level was possible

[vukovich]

NOW HIRING - Special Projects Assistant

Chicago Residency at time of job start required

Join the Rethinking Lawns Research Team (http://rethinkinglawns.com) and study the impacts of lawns and their potential alternatives in Chicago! Lead field experiments, manage experimental sites, and collect and manage data. Ideal candidate will have experience in project coordination and ecological field work.

Full description under the cut!

The Chicago Park District is seeking an experienced candidate to join our Natural Areas team, a part of the Park District’s Department of Cultural and Natural Resources. The Special Projects Assistant will be a member of the Rethinking Lawns project, a multi-disciplinary team exploring the ecological and ecosystem services benefits of traditional lawns, natural areas, and native, short-statured lawn replacement plantings. More information about the project can be found at rethinkinglawns.com. The ideal candidate will have experience in project coordination and ecological field work, preferably in a leadership capacity.

Key responsibilities include leading a team of seasonal research assistants in collecting data on plant cover, pollinator visitation, water infiltration, temperature, and soils at sites throughout Chicago and at the Chicago Botanic Garden. The Special Projects Assistant will participate in regular project coordination meetings with the research team, and oversee scheduling, coordination, communication, and data entry. They will also regularly interact with landscaping contractors, colleagues and the project team regarding installation and maintenance of plantings. Exceptional candidates will have some experience in data management, and analysis using R, and/or GIS. There are opportunities to present at local and national conferences. Local travel to field sites is required.

Desired Qualifications:

Bachelor's degree in Biology, Environmental Science, or a related field, or a combination of education and experience.

Knowledge of ecological principles and practices.

Ability to research information and prepare clear written or oral reports.

Ability to relate to field personnel and community groups, particularly in an urban setting.

Data entry, writing, computer skills.

Knowledge of contemporary research and communication practices. 

City of Chicago residency is required at time of job start.

This position is based out of North Park Village (5801 N. Pulaski Rd.) and includes frequent citywide travel.

[vukovich]

I love you (accusatory) 😡🫵🏻

WELL @l0vegl0wsinthedark I LOVE YOU TOO!! SO THERE!! And to show it, I wrote you this, because after the giddy little giggle I did at reading this ask, I got an idea.

Draco bursts through the door to their flat, making Harry startle where he sits on the couch. He’s about to ask Draco why the hell he’s nearly blown their door off the hinges when he sees the wild look in his boyfriend’s eyes.

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Wha—”

“You,” Draco growls.

Harry sputters. “What did I do!?”

Draco glares at him and slams the door behind him. “You!” He points an accusatory finger at Harry. “I love you!! And it’s all your fault!!”

Harry blinks, his mouth agape, processing. “I—you love me? And you’re angry about it?”

Draco crosses his arms. “Well it is rather inconvenient. It’s entirely distracting throughout the day, even when we’re apart! It inhibits my productivity, Potter! I think about you and your stupid smile and your stupid eyes and your stupid laugh and the stupid way you make me feel—” Draco glares at him again. “And it’s bloody ridiculous!! Because all I want to do is spend every day with you, and care for you, and keep you safe! And just love you!!”

Harry’s so caught off guard, so stunned at this ridiculous, infuriatingly adorable man, that he can’t help the shocked laugh he lets out. When he sees Draco’s eyes flash, he quickly gets up, moving to stand in front of him.

“Well guess what??”

“What?”

“I love you too!!”

“Oh really?” Draco scoffs.

“Yes! I do! It’s all-consuming!” Harry lets his voice rise to Draco’s level. “You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me! I’ve fallen head over heels for you! I love your wit! And your generosity! And how bloody gorgeous you are—it should be illegal!!”

“Well! Then I guess we love each other!” Draco huffs.

“I guess we do!” Harry retorts.

“I love you!”

“I love you more!”

“I love you most!”

“I love you most-est!”

“Oh yeah!?”

“Yeah!”

“Then prove it, Potter!”

Harry strides across the room—and proves it.

[vukovich]

Hello hello! It's Day 18 of @hprecfest, and I've got a fic that makes me laugh

No Bones About It by @peachpety (5k)

Okay here's the deal. I'm very picky about Muggle AUs. (To be clear, I'm not talking about fics where one (or both) of them is in the Muggle world after the war, I mean fics where there is no magic and they're *just* in the Muggle world. Obviously, if you like that then more power to you, but it's just not my thing!)

But Peach's fics are a BIG exception for me. Come As You Are has been a go-to comfort fic for me since it was published, and I'd be remiss if I talked about her Muggle AUs without mentioning it. It would definitely make you laugh, but if we're talking about funny fics, No Bones About It just takes the cake for me.

If you, like me, appreciate a good (or bad) pun, you're going to LOVE this. But there's definitely more than just puns to make you laugh. The Golden Trio gets to shine quite a bit! Ron is the same loyal, and fun-loving dumbass (affectionate) with his canonically teaspoon-sized emotional range. Hermione is the smart, kind, all-knowing (except when someone's flirting with her) queen we know and love. Pansy's brief but impactful appearance shows her snark, wit, and charisma.

Draco is a hardworking and nerdy TA who tries to stay smooth and confident around Harry and, adorably, mostly fails. But that's okay because Harry's usually too caught up in his own pining to really notice. They're both flustered and trying to be subtle, and it doesn't fool anyone but each other.

One of the things I love most about Peach's work is how she writes Drarry flirting. It's light, funny, and easy, and I think the chemistry is some of the best I've ever read. Her writing is so romantical (iykyk), and actually, I'm gonna wrap this up now so I can go binge her fics.

Let me close with this: If you're looking for a laugh, No Bones About It is the perfectly ✨humerous✨ fic to brighten your day.